Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I Am A Pathological Liar

I think I have given my parents the impression that I have found steady work.  It's not that steady because, even though I thought the lab would put me on sabbatical (because my "boss" said she doesn't have the time to find more experiments for me to listen to) over the holidays, I've been told that for sure it'll end later this month.  And even then it was only two or three times a week; I think my folks believe I work five afternoons, and thus 20 hours, a week.

I've said I'm "at work" many times when either of my parents call me in the afternoon.  Sometimes I am the U.; sometimes I'm watching a movie, or writing something at my Favorite Coffeeshop.  I have to lie because they'll get on my ass, again, for not finding a real job.

In the past 24 hours came a double assault to this pyramid of falsehoold from my parents.  Even though it wasn't planned, the cumulative effect was pretty incredible to behold.

Last night, Mother asked me if I needed to work the next day, which was today.  Instinctively, I said yes.  So she tells me that I have to go to the bank to cash some checks for her before "going" to work.  Dammit, I have to stay up after administering Grandmother's insulin shot now, don't I?

And then Father asks me about some shit about some stock he's looking into.  He's only doing that because he no longer has Internet access at work ... and that's because he didn't want to pay for it anymore.  He says he never uses it, and now he's asking me to do his work for him.  Whatever.  Anyway, since he's such an asshole for me doing things in the morning, this is another thing that I'd have to do before I go to "work."

Still, that didn't stop me from plopping back into my bed as soon as I was done helping out Grandmother.  But I couldn't get back to sleep because I mentally went through my to-do list for the day: Call this guy Father wants to bother regarding Vegas real estate ... print out this coupon ... call the bank to see if there's money for the checks Mother wants me to cash, etc.  And finally, I get a call from Father, about a half-hour after falling back into bed, asking me to check the stock now.  Sigh.  No use falling back asleep.

Good thing is that all the tasks on my to-do list that I needed to drive to I did before 1, and so I went back to bed.  But at around 2:30, I get another call on my phone.  Shit, it's my Father again!  He asked me where I was.  Well, I told Mother I was going to work, so that's what I told him, too -- even though I was in my bed.

And now I'm panicking.  How do I make sure he doesn't find out I lied to him?  I was OK with sleeping in my bed for a little while longer, but now I had to make sure I was out the door in case, for some damn reason, he was coming home right now.  I had to ask Grandmother to lie to them and tell them I was out all afternoon when I was sleeping in my bed.

Glad that they haven't suspected anything -- yet.

I think I get my lying from My Father.  Whenever I saw him enter a pressure situation, he would get all nervous and stammer out something not true just to get away from it.  Maybe I'm copying him, or it could be genetic, but I have his way of just pulling shit out of my ass.  I've tried to stop, but I don't think I ever can.  I hate this about me, but it's a part of me.  It's who I am.

No comments:

Post a Comment