Monday, April 11, 2011

Shit, I Wanna Tittyfuck Nicky Whalen!

Saw Hall Pass a couple weeks ago.  Not a fan of the Farrelly Brothers -- never seen There's Something About Mary and I don't have a hunkering to see it -- and I thought they're passé now that guys like Judd Apatow and Todd Phillips push gross humor down its own untrodden paths.  But Hall Pass had two things that appealed to me: Jason Sudeikis, the very relatable straight man on Saturday Night Live; a clip I saw when Christina Applegate (I remember fantasizing about her when she was on Married With Children; not to say she's haggard now, but you can see she definitely has aged a lot to MILF status) was on a late-night talk show (Leno I think) and Jenna Fischer (plain, but she's got big tits under all those clothes that she wears; if she ever gets dolled up, your pants are gonna tighten); and the hot babe and object of desire in the move, Nicky Whalen.

Nicky Whalen is an Australian actress and model.  She's also hella hot, as these images can attest.  When I heard that this girl I never heard of gets naked near the end of the movie, that sold it.  I didn't care how good it was (verdict: It was good; underestimated how serious it was going to be, and even though it was a tad slow and not funny at times -- and I don't appreciate the penises -- I found it to be a good adult comedy), if it had a hot girl getting naked, I'm in!

And it was great.  Not only were her breasts worth the wait, but the build-up to the point where she exposes her mammaries was the perfect execution of anticipation.  Her flinging out her titties was the third-act, and thus primary, conflict in Hall Pass.

We see her at the beginning of the movie as a barista -- a hot barista named Leigh, wearing a tight shirt and tight jeans and sporting a sexy, easy Australian accent and a beautiful smile.  Both characters, but in particular Rick, portrayed by Owen Wilson, lusts after her, and obviously all straight males in the audience do the same thing.  He starts flirting with her, and she starts making conversation back, and instead of ruining the placid and perfect image we have of Whelan as a really hot chick, getting to know her character makes her even more attractive.

Leigh suggests to Rick that if he wants to work out, he should do so at the same place she goes to so she can get money.  So when he goes to the gym, she shows up -- now wearing workout wear, namely an unzipped sweatshirt, tight yoga pants, and a bare midriff workout top, showing off her tight tummy!  The slow unpeeling of the babe's clothes continues, and is a marked step up from the more intimate information we know of her character.  And on top of that, in this scene she reveals that she likes to drink after exercising.  She's the perfect guy's girl!

Later in the film he bumps into her at a nightclub.  They then go to his friend's house, which is also a party.  They have a little conversation where he blurts out that his wife gave him a "hall pass" where he can fuck anybody without consequences to the marriage.  She says she just wants to try new things.  "Like sleeping with a married man?" Rick says under his breath.

Instead of getting all freaked out or nodding slightly but getting away from him after that comment, Leigh just lets out a quick laugh and then says, "Let's go somewhere a little quieter."  And I and all the other guys watching the movie go, "YES!!!!!!!!!!"

There's a little plot where she's sidetracked by the guy she works with, who also happened to be someone she fucked.  Thinking he's lost his chance, he just goes around his friend's house contemplating.  But then she finds him.  All this time she's wearing a great-looking sundress.  We soon find out that she does the appropriate thing when wearing a sundress: Not wear anything underneath:


nicky-whelan-hall-pass-topless by EgotasticMedia

Whelan's tits are kind of weird; they're more horizontal than vertical, like a pancake.  Oh, who cares, I jerked off to her easily that night!

And thank god New Line Cinema and Warner Brothers haven't forced this pirated video down from the Internet!!!

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