Saturday, February 28, 2015

Nightmare

Friday night: Came home from a wrestling bout and My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) ... fell asleep a bit past 11:30 ... woke up around 4:30 to plug in my phone, then promptly fell back asleep till around 6:30.

The details are vague, but I remember being at a social event, planning to leave but it was cold out so I went out to start the car and come back in.  Then I got caught up in doing a lot of things till I realized, egads! I forgot that the car was still on, so I ran back outside to see the car ... well, I then it may have been shrouded in fumes or something, basically it was breaking down because it was on for too long.

Then I woke up.

It's been cold, and my folks always tell me to come back into the house after I start the car so it could warm up while I'm inside.  That's where that nightmare probably came from.

Friday, February 27, 2015

Random Thoughts And Fears The Afternoon I Was Let Go From My Temp Job

I got let go about half an hour ago.  Since this was just a short assignment, I didn't really care.  It would have been nice to have a full day, but having an afternoon free allows me to do this.  Actually the first thing I did was call up this girl to see if she was down for some sexytime, but I got her voicemail.  I then called my shrink to see if I could see him this afternoon.  Luckily he is free, although it's about 45 minutes from now.  Prefer that it was earlier in the day (because I had nothing else to do; the blogging could wait), but I should still be able to get out and get home without too much traffic.  I am taking a friend to see a wrestling bout for his birthday, which is today.


So I am back to unemployed for another week.  Free time to see the shrink again (possibly for the last time in a long time), then get my feet sized for these new insoles I need.  Already made an appointment for some sexytime with another girl.  The rest of the week is ... well, try to avoid my parents finding out I'm unemployed, exercise, and hope my car doesn't go to shit on me.  It stalled twice on my way home yesterday and I think it stalled once on the way here to the library.


I wish I was working, but if I'm not, I have to make the most of it.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher softball (Last Week: -4).  In a winter where the local teams have been exasperating when they haven't been disappointing, there is one squad that has started off gangbusters.  And it's an irony that possibly the best Twin Cities club overall will not play in the Twin Cities until April.

The University of Minnesota softball team just went 5-0 in the Diamond Devil Tournament in Tempe, Ariz. to run their record through two weeks to 13-1.  Three of the four teams they beat were ranked (they swept a night-following day doubleheader from Boise St.), but led by Senior Erica Meyer, who was named Co-Big Ten Player Of The Week, they outscored their opponents by a combined score of 34-14, the best of which was their 4-1 victory over host Arizona St.  That lifts the bunch up to just outside the Top 10 of the softball polls, and that makes the B1G home opening series the first weekend in April against Michigan, which is ranked either second or third (depending on which poll you look at), a potentially huge one.

But until then the Golden Gophers have to keep winning.  They have a chance to take a 5-0 sweep again this weekend in the Citrus Classic in Orlando.  The opponents are: Mississippi St., James Madison, Missouri, Nebraksa-Omaha and Fordham.

#0: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5).  OK, so it was one game.  But it was one hell of a game, one that this star-starved populace needs, though (and I'm paraphrasing The Dark Knight here) not the one it necessarily deserves:



Can't imagine that he's anything besides The Kid. In many ways he still looks like a fresh-faced rookie drafted fourth overall out of high school.  And yet I look at the box score, and although he had eight rebounds (all of them on the defensive end), Nikola Pekovic got more (13).  And I also see that KG had only five points, was just a +6 and played only 19 minutes.  He's only going to be a half-a-game player from now on?  That'll be an adjustment.  Well, so long as he instills some toughness and willingness to improve to the rest of the team.  Without punching a fellow teammate in the face, of course.

But then I finally look at the score of the game.  They were playing the Washington Wizards, by the way.  And after they fell behind 20-11, they outscored Washington (and former Woofie Dog Head Coach -- and, let's face it, chump -- Randy Wittman) by 29 to win in Kevin Garnett's First Game Back, 97-77.  Maybe his influence will be felt beyond the box score.  Hell, let's hope.

The team beat Phoenix, by the way, by 2 without The Big Ticket and lost to Houston (and former Woofie Dog Head Coach and General Manager Kevin McHale) this week.  The Wizards match started a five-game homestand which will encompass the entire week: Memphis, the Clippers, Denver and Portland.

#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -3).  In their final regular season series the Golden Gopher women's hockey team swept at Bemidji St. by scores of 3-2 and 4-2, blah-blah-blah.  Dana Cameranesi defended her WCHA Offensive Player Of The Week Award, blah-blah-blah.  They start the first round of the WCHA Conference Tournament this weekend at Ridder Arena against Minnesota State - Mankato, blah-blah-blah.  I'll talk in-depth as soon as they reach the NCAA Championship Game.

#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -2).  Hmmm ... this is strange.  They split at Penn St.  (Oddly enough, all three goals they scored in Saturday's loss were with Minnesota on the man advantage.  The last of those goals was scored by Sam Warning, with 40 seconds left and Goalie Adam Wilcox pulled.)  And yet Minnesota actually went up in the PairWise, to tenth, thereby solidifying their hopes of reaching the NCAA Tournament, at least according to Jayson Moy of USCHO.com.  I don't know know exactly how that happened, but uh, OK.

I need to get going on this WMNSS, so I'll just say that they have just dropped the puck on the first game of this week's series, at Mariucci against Michigan St.  Yes, they are playing an extremely rare Thursday-Friday series, for some reason.

#-3: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -1).  I looked at both ESPN.com and College Sports Madness for their women's college bracketology, and both sites had the Gopher women ballers on the 7 line.  Five straight wins and Minnesota only musters a 7 seed?  Plus, the Gophers didn't crack the Top 25 of any poll.  I thought, What's up with that?

Well, maybe all of those people saw something I didn't, as evidenced by Tuesday's 74-50 ass-kicking in Nebraska.  It's not the worst thing in the world, I guess; they still seem fairly safe to reach The Big Dance, and a lot of people get embarrassed on the road against good teams.  But reaching a top-four seed (and thus earning the right to play the first two games of the tourney on your home court), let alone cracking the Top 25, may not be in the cards, at least not right now.

Sunday is the last regular season finale, and like the last game, the Gophers face a good team on the road.  A very good team, in fact: Iowa.

#-4: Wild (Last Week: -7).  I was at Sunday's Hockey Day In America (which is just a ripoff of Minnesota's Hockey Day In Minnesota) game against The Bastard North Stars.  It was scoreless after one, even though Minnesota controlled the puck and the game.  The Team That Was Stolen From Us scored the only goal in the second period, which made me really skittish.  But then they cracked the dam open and score half a dozen to bury them.  That made me really, really happy.

But the home loss Tuesday to Edmonton, even though the Mild essentially was living in the Oilers' offensive zone the second and third periods, hurts, a lot.  As good as the team has been playing, the hold they dug themselves left them little to no room for bad losses, and that was a bad loss.  Turns out Edmonton took revenge for the Wild destroying the Oilers at Rexall Arena 4-0 Friday.

Again, I should talk more, but I can't.  This week: at Nashville right now, at Colorado, home to Ottawa.

#-5: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -Infinity).  Just as everybody thought, they lost to Wisconsin Saturday, thereby putting the final nail in their Big Dance hopes.  They were about to lose to Michigan St., but a miracle three at the end pushed this game into Overtime, which is why I'm rushing to get this done before that game's done.  This is their only game this screening week.

#-6: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -6).  This team's hopes of getting another NCAA title is just about over after they were upset in the NWCA National Duals tournament, losing to Cornell, 19-17.  The only thing that gives me hope for this program is that the team I presumed replaced Minnesota as the favorites to win the championship, Iowa, was itself upset in the NWCA final dual to, all of teams, Missouri.  Along with the aforementioned Big Red, who comes out on top now seems to be more of a free-for-all.  The Big Ten Championships are in Columbus this year, and that starts on the 7th.

#-7: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -8).  I want to encourage all of our teams to play good opponents.  But even I can't ignore the fact that the Gopher Nine seem to be in way over their heads.  They are just about the opposite of their softball counterparts, winless over seven games after getting swept in Texas.  Worst of all, they were shut out the last three games of the series.  Ouch.  Results like that have to put you in the bottom of the Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  Maybe this club will get their first win of the season playing a three-game series at Florida Gulf Coast.  The Eagles are at least unranked.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Early Evenings To Bed Costs Me On Mafia Wars

For the past several days I have been so tired after getting home from work that I have conked off very early in the evening, around 8:30.  While I am OK with listening to my body when it needs to shut down, it does throw my schedule off.  In particular, I would like to be able to stay up and watch the late-night TV talk shows, especially Letterman since he'll be good in several months.

It also prevents me from getting onto Facebook, and then onto Mafia Wars (yes, I still play it) and make sure I pick up my Daily Take before the game's new day starts, which is 2 in the morning Central Time.  They track how many days in a row you pick up the Daily Take, and there is supposed to be this big prize if you pick it up for a whole week.  Actually, I don't know if the prize at the end of seven days is much better than any of the previous six days, but I honestly felt a sense of accomplishment.  The little screen is gold, not black, and I felt proud enough of my consistency and dedication that, despite so many of my Facebook friends warning me not to invite them to play games, I at least Share My Take with them, even though I know of only one other person who still actively plays Mafia Wars.

Well, for the first time in many weeks, if not months, I missed a day, and that means I have to start all over again.  Fell asleep at 8:30 listening to both the Mild and the Goofer women's basketball teams on the radio losing (and they both did; both teams are good, but neither could afford a defeat the way each of their seasons are shaping up).  Woke up at a quarter to 2 and I had a fleeting thought that maybe I should get on and do the Daily Take on Mafia Wars.  But I truly thought that I had already done that.  Why?  Unlike recently, I actually had to stay up Monday night because the damn washing machine (with the long underwear I ruined with fabric softener) broke down to the point where I disassembled the whole thing and cleaned out the pump or the motor or whatever the fuck it is, I don't remember.  (ETA at 4:22 a.m. of the same day that I looked up a blog post where I fixed it before and it is indeed the pump.)  I did stay up to watch late-night TV.  But I woke up just a little before I had to head off to work.

A further complication happened after I got home from work today when the Internet started to go on the fritz.  (What's with all these electronic appliances breaking down?  Is it the cold?)  And then Mother wanted my help downloading some Groupon thing, which I'll have to get to tonight.  By the time I was done with all of that I was pooped.  That's when I fell asleep.

So now I've had to start over in Mafia Wars.  I'm awake, even though I should be up in a few hours.  And the Internet is still starting-and-stopping.  Masturbation was good while I did it, but now I am both bored and anxious, which is a very bad combination.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Temp Agency Woman Lied To Me! Again!

OK, so this woman at the temp agency, one I've had to speak with on occasion, got me this current job.  But yesterday as I was getting oriented to the project I saw written on our orientation sheet our end date of this Friday.  Trouble is, she told me that this was going to last two weeks, which would have been perfect, because what I thought was going to be my last day would be a Friday and I would begin the test scoring project the following Monday.  Wouldn't have missed a beat.  Now, I will miss a beat -- a week's worth, in fact.

I was told to call her and tell her how my first day was.  I got someone else instead, and I told him that she told me this was going to last two weeks instead of one.  What I did not say to him is that this was not the first case where she misled me.  My first run-in with her, if I recall correctly (and I might be wrong) was where she told me I had a job when in fact I didn't.  She has also told me I needed to update my resume when in fact I didn't have to; I think she misled the people I had to supervise at the flu billing place about what their job exactly entailed, which I still do not appreciate; she told me last week that I had to do this background check even though I didn't (and she said she eventually took care of it herself, which is in itself odd, because it's my background check); and now this.

She's nuts, is what I'm saying.  And even though it sucks that, in my opinion, she lied to me, she has done that so often that I just assume that she's chronically untrustworthy.  Besides, I am trying to make lemonade out of these lemons.  This gives me time to make an appointment to get new insoles for my flat feet.  I am working on arranging some sexytime with a woman who only blows dick during the daytime.  And, frankly, after the long and boring day I had trying to work the phones, maybe one week of this job is more than enough.  (I will say that even though the work is arduous, the people I work with and for are great.)

And hey, maybe this temp recruiter will get a dressing down, or maybe even get fired.

Monday, February 23, 2015

I've Just Ruined My New Long Underwear

Went out of my way to buy new long underwear, one each of tops and bottoms I think I need to buy every winter.  Since the Duluth Trading Company came into town I wanted to patronize what seems to be a new, fresh, potentially hip store deciding to move into our (red)neck of the woods.  They seemed to have nice long underwear, and I got a deal of free shipping for both top and bottom for the holidays.

I'm a fanatic when it comes to washing clothes, usually.  I don't know how many people separate their whites from their darks, and then which ones have to be washed in warm water and which in cold, and from those which ones need to be dried in medium heat and which in low.  I do.  In fact, when my parents are away, I will spread out all my dirty clothes on the dining room floor in piles according to what wash-dry combination its label says it needs.

The two new Duluth Trading Company long wear pieces are warm water/low heat.  They also have explicit instructions stamped on the fabric saying that fabric softener should not be used.  I love fabric softener.  Someone in college helped me see the light on it.  Never used it when I was a kid, but once a dormmate gave me a serving and I pulled it out of the dryer and felt how smooth it was, I became a believer.  I, and my family, has used it ever since.  However, I'm not supposed to use it on the Duluth Trading Company long underwear.  Don't explicitly know why, but on this FAQ on a brand of what I guess is period-fighting women's underwear, fabric softener interferes with the moisture-wicking technology that keeps a person wearing these kinds of garments both warm and dry.

Well, I fucked up.  First, a couple or a few weeks ago I was doing a wash with my Duluth bottom and I inadvertently put in fabric softener, because it's routine of me to.  I realized I made a mistake as soon as I poured it into the dispenser.  And I did it just last (Monday) night with my Duluth top.  I was searching for a way to scoop up the fabric softener and put it back in the bottle, but I couldn't find any.  So I now have to live with me ruining perfectly new and good long underwear.

---

I have to say that I will be wearing ruined long underwear after it gets washed, but once again the washer is on the fritz.  Have to baby it so it goes through the end of the cycle.  Need to go downstairs now to see if it's done.

They Found Nothing

Of course they found nothing.  Through bringing the car in three straight days and letting the mechanics have their way with it, they said they could not replicate the stalling despite stepping on the gas pedal.  I myself think there is still something weird with the car; for example, the car jerked forward a few seconds when I accelerated, and I have noticed something akin to a whistling or whooshing noise when I am speeding up on the highway.  But to be honest, that stall hasn't come back.  Yet.

I start a new job today, at noon.  Weird start; I have half a day to begin this very short project, but since my parents still think I'm working, I was out the door around 7:30, which gives me a few hours of free time.  I'm having coffee right now; I'm going to use a coupon to eat Arby's for lunch, and hopefully I'll get to this place on time.  And I also hope my car doesn't rear its dark side to me on the way there.  Wish me luck.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Pain By My Side

I've had side cramps all my life.  As a kid they usually came when I ate and then ran around.  I heard another kid once complain about side cramps, so I stopped thinking there was something wrong with me, and that was that.

Lately, like in the past week, these side cramps have come back.  Feel them when I slip into bed, usually after dinner.  But I haven't been running around, mostly because I'm not a kid anymore.  So I don't know why they're happening to me.  I'm scared even more so right now because I felt those cramps just now, this morning, when I haven't eaten anything.

I have also been checking out my stomach lately; it's fat.  I've been working out furiously this week, but it seems as if I've gotten fatter.  Now, this may be because the jeans I've been wearing this week are a little too small for me, thus making my gut look big.  Also, I went to the podiatrist Friday morning and I came in at 161 pounds, which is the same weight I've been at before.  But it might be my parents' home cookin' that fattens me up every night.

But I've gotten bloated before and not have side cramps to go along with it.  So I don't know what it is ... well, besides a bad appendix which might need to be taken out.  I don't need that.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

My Car Is Hiding Its Problem From Them

Today will mark my third and (what has to be) my final day of this weird ritual in the wake of my car stalling really bad on Tuesday.  Every morning, around the time I would go to work, I would instead take my car to The Mechanic Around The Corner.  I would then give them the keys to my car, which would sit in their lot to see if they can drive it around after a few hours of it standing in the cold and coax it into this problem.  In the meantime I would get the keys to one of their two loaner cars so I can go about my business of acting like I'm going to work.

On Thursday I drove it down to the Mall of America and back, touching on my appointment with my psychiatrist and the dental RV.  It was there that I realized that, hey, I have a car that I feel is a lot more reliable than the car I usually drive.  So on Friday I decided to take advantage of it and, after driving it to the community center to work out (part of my plans) I took it back down to the Megamall because I knew it was going to not die on me on the way there or back.  I'm going to do it again today, and like the previous two days I'll call around 3:30 to see if they found anything, and if not, I arrive to exchange keys and drive the mile home with my old car.  And my parents this whole time will think I was just doing my own thing with my own car.  Goddammit, that's the way it should be.

Unfortunately the mechanics say that bad stall has not happened again on their watch.  That's pissing me off, especially since when I picked up my car yesterday afternoon, it felt it was jumping on me when I stepped on the gas.  It's like my car is waiting for it to stall only when I'm in it, like it's intentionally hiding the problem from them just so it can get to me.  The mechanics probably think I'm crazy.  Fuck, I think I'm paranoid.  But this is the closest I can do to just handing them my car for a few days and let them drive it around like it's theirs.  It had to have acted up, right?

At this point it's ridiculous to continue with bringing it in.  Who knows, maybe it is good.  But I have to take my car to St. Paul because a friend has invited me to the Wild game against The Team That Was Stolen From Us.  And I picked up a two-week assignment in St. Paul starting Monday.  I need a car.  Guess it's going to be mine.  Now see it die on my way to St. Paul -- right in the middle of fucking traffic.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Finally, My Fucking Father Speaks To Me ...

... and it was about what I'm supposed to fucking doing with my life.

When I got home Mother asked me to start my parents' minivan for her.  After getting visual confirmation of two and not three plates on the dinner table, I knew that tonight I was eating dinner with just My Fucking Father -- perfect time for him to break his silence and come after me.

And he did.  He buttered me up with pork chops and rotini, and then he asked me, "Are you still a temp?"

I've been hiding the fact that I'm dropping off the car at The Mechanic Around The Corner the past couple days (might talk about it in the next blog post), and I needed to make sure that they don't know that I have reapplied for unemployment (I was lucky that a letter from the state came today and that I was the one who got the mail, and not them; timed it just right!), so I had to tell the truth on this one.  And so he assailed me yet again with bullshit about getting a stable job, not settling for temp jobs, blah-blah-blah.

Then he got fucking unfair.  He points out that after I eat I take a shower and sleep.  He accuses me of not looking for jobs every night.  I don't, but I thought he'd be happy with the showering and sleeping.  I do the former once a night -- OK, that's a lie, I skipped it last night -- and I do the latter at an hour that should be more to his fucking liking.  He's always hated me for staying up late, and now he's yelling at me for going to bed early??  Why can't he make up his fucking mind?!?!

The job stuff I still can't answer to his satisfaction, and not really to mine, and after he went back to harping on me for that I was done with dinner, and so he knew I was just going to stomp out of the dining room.  And he stopped talking.  And I immediately took a shower.  In order to continue avoiding him I decided to shave after my shower, just to stall for more time away from him.  Thought I heard the TV still on in the dining room, which made me think he was waiting for me to come out so he could sit me down and give me an ultimatum: Find a full-time job, go back to school, or leave the house.  But he didn't, thankfully.

But My Fucking Father has broken his silence and will now assail me about my future whenever he wants.  That isn't different from how it's been before, but it was different up till now, when he wouldn't speak to me at all.  I wish he would go back to shutting the fuck up.

Weird Dream At Night (Only One Of Which I Can Remember)

Just for the record: Fell asleep listening to the University of Minnesota women's basketball game against Iowa Tuesday night at halftime.  (Should have stayed up: Amanda Zahui B. is actually making some headlines for her 39-point, Big Ten-record 29-rebound performance in helping take out 13th-ranked Iowa, 93-80.)  That was around 8:30, maybe 8:45.  Woke up around 2:30, 2:45.  Stayed up till about 5:30.  Woke up (to continue this ruse of working) at 6:45.  This second sleep, this nap, is when this happened:

Suddenly I was at work, at the flu billing place, and like the lunch we had my last day there, we were having a party.  I walk in to this big room where they've all congregated, slapped a few backs and said hi.  I don't know if I walked in like it was my last day, or if I was returning to say hi or something.  Then, for some reason, I was playing video games, including an old game with a rifle, a Western.  Don't remember the name, and I can't find an image of it on the Internet.  But I remember staring at it for hours as a kid at the arcade at the mall closest to me, and wishing I knew how to play, and the two times I tried playing it I immediately died because I was such a shitty shot.  Oh, and I know there was a stage where you were hunting Native Americans, and when you shot one of them, you would hear that voice, before it died, saying, "Pale face!"  Oh, what's the name of that game?

Then I woke up.

---

This keeping up the act of going to work is really getting to me.  I was trying to watch the Florida International-Rice basketball game on free TV when I felt the sleep come over me.  So, even though I didn't lower the sound or turn off the light, I took off my sunglasses, turned my head away from the TV, and closed my eyes.

That was around 8:30.  I woke around 1.  And dammit, I knew I had a vivid nightmare/dream just before I woke up, and I don't remember it now.  Hate how nightmares just disappear from your consciousness like that!

Thursday, February 19, 2015

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -5).  First of all, as long as I have time to write during the day because I'm unemployed, I should address something about the survey that has become very obvious over the years: Gopher sports teams are generally doing much better than the Twin Cities pro teams.  But a more salient point to make is that this disparity continues even though there are more Gophers teams playing during the winter months than pro teams.  I am not versed in statistics, so I may have this all wrong.  But you would think that with a greater group of teams from one college, you would have some that are generally good and some generally bad every year.  That hasn't been the case in the five years of the WMNSS; it appears as though the Gophers uniformly start the survey and the pro teams bring up the rear.  Why is that?  It's not as if any Golden Gopher team has won a title since I started this.  I think it's that, despite the anomaly, the pro teams in town have been on a historic run of below-average performance.

OK, just wanted to say that.  I give the top spot this week to the Gopher women even though most of the teams on the list (and, yes, all of them emanate from the U.) had great weeks and a few, like the Golden Gopher women b-ballers, had spotless ones.  But not only did this squad go 2-0 this screening week (at Penn St., home to Iowa), the team has made some headlines for Tuesday night's "upset" of the 13th-ranked Hawkeyes.  Well, not exactly the team, but one player -- Amanda Zahui B., who notched a career-high 39 points, a conference-record 29 rebounds, four blocks and two steals.  Like I said before I fell asleep once the Gophers took a 48-42 lead into halftime.  As usual I was afraid I would be listening to them eventually lose the game (I don't have cable, so I listened on the radio), but now that I know that Zahui basically did a Kirby Puckett, "climb on my back"-type of deal, I regret falling asleep.

That is All-American material, what she did in that game.  If people don't recognize how she's tearing it up for this club before -- and without the services of Rachel Banham, possibly one of the 25 best players in women's college basketball, no less -- that effort, and the fact she reached headline status on ESPN.com for a spell through Wednesday morning, should give her some well-deserved publicity now.  Those who did know her underestimated her impact ... and I'm talking about myself.  Now, the Big Ten knows they are facing a potential First Team candidate and, if what ESPN.com women's bracketologist Charlie Creme said Tuesday night is true, Minnesota has sewn up its first NCAA tournament bid since 2009.

The final regular season game at Williams Arena is Saturday afternoon against Michigan.  They then visit Nebraska Tuesday.

#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: 0).  I'm putting the Gopher women's basketball team as well as the Gopher men's hockey team in the top two positions because both of their weeks strengthened their prospects to get into the NCAA tournament when it hadn't quite been secure before the week began.  For the Gopher men icers, that was a decisive home sweep of Michigan by scores of 6-2 and 2-0.

Naturally the Gophers were lauded by the Big Ten; there are only six schools, after all.  Kyle Rau is the reigning conference Second Star Of The Week for notching his second-career hat trick in Friday's tripling of the Wolverines (scoring the Three Main Ways: even strength, power play and shorthanded -- impressive!) and Goalie Adam Wilcox the Third Star.  The club's fortunes have risen with these two players'; in their last six games they have won five and tied (at least technically) once.  Now, at least points-wise, they are tied with the Wolverines for first place in the B1G.  More importantly, they have passed Michigan in the PairWise; Jayson Moy has Minnesota as the fourth-last team in the field of 16 and still the only team from the conference playing in the postseason.  That isn't great, not having a profile good enough to warrant an at-large bid.  But they seem to have gotten over their mid-season doldrums; keep this up, and they might get in even if they lose the conference tournament.

The only downside to this is they have won their last four at Mariucci Arena, and the win and tie before that was against Wisconsin, which is having perhaps their worst season in program history.  They strike out on the road against Penn St. this weekend, which is making some nice strides in only its second year of existence as a top-flight college hockey program.

#-3: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -6).  They have righted the ship with 7-1 and 2-0 victories over Minnesota-Duluth (and lame duck Head Coach Shannon Miller -- if you haven't heard what's going on over there, read this, it's weird) last weekend, and with it several milestones were set.  The Gophers clinched their ninth Western Conference Hockey Association regular season title; Head Coach now has 251 victories; and the senior class on the squad has now won 139 games, not only the most in Golden Gopher women's hockey history, but the most of any senior class from any program in top-flight women's hockey.  Oh, Sophomore Forward Dani Cameranesi is the WCHA Offensive Player Of The Week for her two assists in Friday's win and the first (and game-winning) goal in Saturday's victory over the Bulldogs.

Same shit, different day; they haven't really needed to improve their postseason hopes, so that's why I placed them third behind two teams that needed good weeks.  They remain second in the polls behind Boston College.  But I took a look at this advanced hockey metric called KRACH, and I want you guys to take a look, too.  Assuming that this KRACH is a better indicator of how good a team really is (it is much better than RPI), you can see that the Eagles are first overall among all programs in Division I and II women's hockey, and decisively so over the Golden Gophers.  But look at the Strength Of Schedule columns, and really the last two; Minnesota has a huge SOS score over BC, and they are ranked second overall while the Eagles have the 15th-strongest.  That should mean something if they meet in the title game -- right?

This weekend is the last regular season series, at Bemidji St.

#-4: Gopher softball (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  Welp, they aren't going to go undefeated this season.  After stomping Stetson in a doubleheader series (the second game a 16-7 triumph that was mercy-ruled after five innings), then blanked Massachusetts-Lowell 8-0 in six (which gave Jessica Allister her 150th win as Head Coach at Minnesota), they were shut out by Central Florida, 4-0.  As a result the Gophers slipped a couple places in the two softball polls I can see down to the mid-teens.  (The Golden Knights, meanwhile, were propelled into both polls by virtue of their upset victory.)  Their eight wins to start the season is the best in school history, but now comes the task of playing after a defeat.  This week they participate in the Diamond Devil Tournament in Tempe, Ariz.  They play five games against four schools, all of them with "State" in their names; in order they are New Mexico, Boise (for two), host Arizona, then finally Colorado.

#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  Shit, man.  I was looking forward to a survey where I would have to write blurbs for only nine teams and not ten since the National Basketball Association listened to the Players' Union and stretched out All-Star Weekend to last a whole week.  That week fell right on this week, which meant I had no games to write about, and since there were no games to write about (and since I thought Zach LaVine's Slam Dunk Contest win and Andrew Wiggins's Most Valuable Player award in the Rising Stars Challenge didn't merit a blurb to make this WMNSS ten teams strong), I was more than happy to leave them off for the week.

Unfortunately, however, the NBA has a longstanding tradition where their trade deadline falls just as the second half of its season begins.  And there, this year, the Woofie Dogs were able to rip off on hell of a trade: Kevin Garnett is coming home.  You know, kind of like LeBron:



I've had a few friends on Facebook fawning over the return of KG, a man so beloved in town we still feel that he is the face of the franchise, even though he was traded to the Boston Celtics in 2007 (?) and is coming from another team, the Brooklyn Nets, in exchange for Thaddeus Young.  I've had at least one guy I know think this is a stupid idea because the team's just trying to be nostalgic.  I would be OK with it on three conditions:

  1. Garnett sticks around for at least one more year beyond this, and not retire, as some have been speculating;
  2. He is the rim protector in the games Nikola Pekovic is injured.  Pek can return the favor in games where The Kid is too old to play;
  3. KG mentors the young pups on the team, like Wiggins and LaVine and Anthony Bennett, the same way Sam Mitchell mentored Garnett when he started out.  A Pay-It-Forward kind of a thing.
Would Garnett do that?  If he were a man, he would.  But I don't think he's got the maturity to do it.  At any case, this is one hell of a story, and a surprise from a source that isn't known for them.

#-6: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -7).  In the first round of NWCA National Duals Sunday they trounced North Dakota St. in Fargo, 26-9.  Guess that's good, although I don't exactly know what that means.  The rest of the tourney presumably takes place this weekend in the neutral site of Iowa City, Ia.  Their next opponent: Cornell.

#-7: Wild (Last Week: -3).  Brandon Mileski, Producer for KFXN's Common Man Progrum and self-styled Wild analyst, believes that the club has to be in playoff position by the end of this month in order to reach the Stanley Cup Playoffs.  That means there isn't much room for error after the mid-season hole they dug themselves.  So that means that the Mild's 3-2 loss at Vancouver was so bad it wiped out the two wins they got at Xcel Energy Center over Florida and Carolina.  But Mikko Koivu at least stopped any thought that the team was backsliding by winning last (Wednesday) night's game over Calgary, 3-2 in Overtime.  They remain on a hot streak, but unfortunately putting themselves behind the playoff chase means there are more teams in front of them that have to lose.  So even with their 3-1 week, they are one point behind eighth place, which currently is shared by the defending champion L.A.. Kings and San Jose.  Not too bad, but I would not recommend a losing streak.

This week may be an easy one.  They get to face the worst team in the National Hockey League (I think?), the Edmonton Oilers, twice, first away (finishing up their second Prairie Province Three-Step in about a month), then home.  But sandwiched inbetween that is a Sunday night date, part of NBC Sports Network's Hockey Day In America (totally copied from our Hockey Day In Minnesota, clever), at home against The Team That Was Totally Stolen From Us.  I can't believe that my frenemy invited me to this game.  I am totally going to pick a fight with a Bastard North Stars fan!

#-8: Gopher baseball (Re-Entry!).  The college baseball season started this past weekend, but apparently the Minnesota team did not know this.  Well, now that I see that Houston started the season as the third-ranked team in College Baseball's Top 25 poll (the Cougars are ranked in other spots in other polls, of course, but none of them below 11th), I shouldn't slam them too hard.  But they nevertheless began the 2015 season by getting swept at the Cougars.  Friday's season opener was a 9-1 drubbing, and they were shut out 5-0 Saturday, but at least they managed to tie the game at 4 in the top of the ninth inning before losing in the bottom of the ninth on a Fielder's Choice.

Give dap, at least, to this team challenging themselves.  And it's not as if they're biting off more than they can chew, or at least biting off too much more.  What I mean is that ... wait, I thought a little blurb on the B1G on this ESPN.com preview included the Golden Gophers.  It doesn't.  So it means they're gonna suck this year.  Oh, OK.

Hey, they still think they're world-beaters.  They're going to get a chance to nick one from yet another highly ranked team, this one ranked at worst tenth in the six college baseball polls around, and a program with whom Minnesota has battled since 1924: Texas.  Unfortunately, and of course, they will be playing the entire series (all four games) in Texas.  But hey, this is baseball -- they have to win at least one game, right?

#-9: Swarm (Last Week: -2).  Rough weekend for the Smarm, a very rough one.  Dropped both ends of a home-and-home against the Toronto Rock, which could be the far-and-away class of the National Lacrosse League.  They were quadrupled at home on Friday the 13th, 16-4, and then they were trampled in T.O. the next night, 14-9.  They have a two-week vacation until they play again, and I think that break will do this squad good.

#-Infinity: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -1).  I was going to slot the U. baseball team down here because they started off their season with a three-game sweep.  But after hearing what happened last (Wednesday) night in their home match against what is on paper an overmatched Northwestern squad, I had to kick those guys up and throw these guys here, below everyone else.  And with their two losses this screening week -- Sunday's 90-71 ass-kicking at Indiana and the coup d'grace, a 72-66 loss to bottom-dweller Northwestern at home -- I feel it's well within reason to give them a preemptive -Infinity.

The one thing that ties these two NIT bid-sealing defeats together: three-point shooting.  The Hoosiers sanke a school-record 18 treys; since they attempted 32 shots from deep, they went a fucking 56.3% from The Land Of Three-Pointers.  That doesn't speak well for these Goofs' perimeter defense, but I don't think any team that can score 54 points from that far out will lose no matter what you do.  But it's the Wildcats loss that hurts the most, and takes much if not all of the shine off Richard Pitino.  A team that, I'm guessing, may have to rely on the three but may not be all that great from it was allowed to go 15-32 from behind the arc.  That is 33-of-64 in 3FG% for Minnesota's two opponents this week.  Four of those threes chained up a 12-0 run late in the first half that propelled Northwestern from seven-point deficit to a five-point lead.  The Gophers battled back to take the lead in the second half, but a 16-0 run by the Wildcats took Minnesota from six up to ten down, and they never were able to take the lead ever again.  Even if they somehow get some resume-building wins, this bad loss will loom large.

But we won't have to worry about the NCAA because they aren't good enough.  And if those two losses didn't bury their chances, a Saturday afternoon visit to Wisconsin, rival and resounding class of the Big Ten, will.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

My Car Almost Got Me Killed Yesterday

OK, now this is a goddamn problem.  And the regulator (actually it was the dampener, something that was replaced a couple years ago) a couple weeks ago actually did not help, at all.

I was watching The Imitation Game (quick review: don't know how impactful it was for me, and after checking online to see how much liberty the movie took from the life of Alan Turing I was kind of disappointed it wasn't more faithful to reality but hey, this is a movie) I planned on going to work out.  It was really cold outside, and the car is still giving me problems, so to be safe I sat in the car as it warmed up for five minutes.  But I noticed that my car was not idling well; the tachometer needle was fluttering up and down, and sometimes so low that it felt as if the engine was going to die.  That has happened some times when the car later stalls on the road, though not always, so when that happened, I girded myself but still planned as if I was going the ten miles to the community center.

But then I pulled out of the parking lot and took a left from the light.  As soon as I let go of the brake my car was coasting, not speeding up.  I was stepping on the gas pedal as hard as I ever had, but I would have been moving just as fast if I were pushing it.  I have no idea how it was moving at all; only the physical locomotion of the car got me around that turn, and I was surprised it even did that since I was going from a dead stop at the light.

This stall/non-response to acceleration was the longest yet -- 10, maybe 15 seconds.  There was one car behind me, and after she saw that I wasn't moving as fast I should have, she went around me.  Don't know if she gave me the finger on her way past me, but I was too worried about other things to notice.  This was going on so long I decided I had to pull over, and thankfully I was able to do that.  Then, after a second on the shoulder, the car finally responded to me stepping on the gas.  I thought it was good enough to go all the way to the gym, but I felt it hesitate on me when I was going about 50, so I pulled out, drove back to The Other Mechanic Around The Corner, and immediately scheduled an appointment for Thursday.  I would have wanted one for today, actually, and I don't know if they're going to find anything if I give them the car only for the day, which I will have to do as long as my parents are home.  But I have to do something.  And who knows -- if this stalling occurs only every other day, it's next going to rear its ugly head Thursday, and hopefully, after a few hours being exposed to the harsh winds of our current weather, the mechanics will finally see and hear what I've been seeing and hearing.

What happened yesterday scared the shit out of me, and so I admit I panicked when I scheduled to take my car in to investigate a problem that might not show up while it's in their hands.  I'm very, very lucky that there was no real traffic beyond that one lady in the car; if it were rush hour, the 15 seconds I was a sitting duck might have been fatal.  I'm lucky in another way; as much as not working sucks, at least I now have a few weeks to see what really is wrong without it interfering with work, because there is no work.  I now have to hope that this stalling finally crops up -- at the auto shop, not on the road.  And if I have to use their loaner every goddamn day until it shows up, I'll do it.  Because I can't take not being able to drive this thing anymore.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

I Fucked Up My Thursday, Therefore I Now Fucked Up My Thursday And Friday

With me not working right now, one of the things I wanted to do was catch up on my health visits.  I haven't had my teeth cleaned in a long time, my doctor said I should see a podiatrist for my plantar fasciitis, and I want to arrange a new time to see my shrink so my parents don't get suspicious that I never eat dinner with them on Wednesdays (if they haven't gotten suspicious already).  Since I also want to exercise a little more during these three weeks, I figure it's best to chain these health visits together.  And since the podiatrist can only see me on Thursdays, that'll be the day to do all three things.

So I first call the podiatrist, figuring it'd be easier spinning all the other appointments around him.  But the nurse basically had most of the day open.  What should I do now that the doctor was flexible?  I had two things I placed above everything else: I did not want to be far away from home when afternoon rush began, and I wanted to get my teeth cleaned closer to the end of the day, just so they'll be able to clean out most of the stuff I eat during the day.  The dental clinic I use through my health insurance is an RV (don't ask, I trust it, all the tools look sterilized) that travels around the state.  And unfortunately, this week it's in south Minneapolis.  So even though I wanted an appointment for that in the afternoon, I didn't want it too late in the afternoon.  Consequently, if I was going to the dentist's in the afternoon, maybe it'd be best if I see the podiatrist in the morning.  Then -- and I hadn't thought about him while figuring all of this out -- I was going to see my psychiatrist inbetween then.  His office is between the podiatrist and the dental RV.  Besides, I was led to believe when I spoke about my unemployment that his Thursdays were fairly free.

It's not as if I was thinking all of this while I was on the phone with the nurse; I had this all planned out, sort of.  After giving me all the times I told her 9:15, even though 8:15 was also available.  I figured that I could have breakfast first before seeing the podiatrist, who was close.  Why wake up so early in the morning just to see a doctor?  Later, I booked an appointment for the dental mobile clinic at 2 -- which, given that they allot about an hour per appointment, should give me plenty of time to get home without getting swamped in traffic.

Late last week I left a voicemail with my shrink.  His secretary (a sweet lady, by the way) left me a VM saying that 10 or 11 would be best.  On Monday we spoke and said that I had a doctor's appointment at 9:15, so it'd probably be best that I see him at 11.  She needed to move someone she had 11 to 10, but that was OK, see you at 11.

But then I got to thinking, which is never a good thing.  My sessions with my psychiatrist always run long.  And assuming that our session doesn't start exactly at 11, more like 11:05, I could be out of there at, say, a quarter after noon.  Moreover, I haven't seen the clinic in a couple years, so they asked me to come in to update my information before the 2 o'clock appointment, so be there at 1:45.  I had hoped to take in lunch, probably at Hooters, because I had a coupon and I wanted to see a lot of cleavage.  But if I get out of the shrink's office at 12:15 ... and I have to trek down to the Mall of America to eat ... and if I only get 90 minutes to do all of that before I have to report to the RV ... well, shit.  I don't think I have enough time for beer and titties.  Oh my God, I fucked this all up!

Well, no, not really.  First of all, hey, #firstworldproblems.  Second of all, there is this place called the Pizza Studio that I want to try.  Can you get a decent personal pizza done in six minutes?  That quick turnaround would help if I'm in a time crunch, which I suddenly realized I was in.  This probably was the best time to try them.  But finally, why the hell do I care so damn much?

But I did.  So after thinking about it last night, this morning I decided to see if I could move up the times of both my psychiatrist and the podiatrist so I could leisurely eat and drink at Hooters and still be on time to the dental clinic.  I called the shrink's office at first; turns out she didn't change the original 11 o'clock to 10, and the person actually would have preferred if that didn't change, so going back to what it was was totally fine.  The podiatrist, unfortunately, is all booked up, so it was too late to change it up to 8:15.  I thought about keeping the time and seeing if I can see him and then drive all the way to my psychiatrist in 45 minutes, but then I thought that was stupid.  So I asked for next week, and then, because I wanted to make sure I had time to see other people in order to get the new insoles I think I will need (I figure there'll be another visit to get a footprint, then another week before they're done), I decided to make sure I got to see him ASAP.  He takes patients at another clinic, one farther but not too far from home, Friday.  So I am seeing him the following day.  At 8:15.

So my plan of chaining up these three health visits on the same day when to shit, all because I wanted to make sure I had more than 90 minutes to eat at the Mall of America.  I have to move a doctor's visit to a second day, which will affect the stuff I can and want to do that day, which actually makes my three weeks as a whole a little less flexible.  And come to think of it, I might just eat at the Pizza Studio anyway.  I'll bet I would have plenty of time to eat there if I just went to the podiatrist at 9:15 and the psychiatrist at 11, then still make it to the dental RV to fill out the paper work at 1:45.  But I am a poor, panicky dumbass.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Starting This Morning I Have To Hide For Three Weeks

I am up now, at a quarter to 7.  Since I don't have a job right now I should be in bed, sleeping until my body wants to wake up, which should be closer to 1 in the afternoon.  But then my parents will now I am now unemployed, and that will create absolute hell in the house, and I don't need that.

This will be my routine for the next three weeks, until my new job at the test scoring place starts, and then I'll have an actual reason to wake up in the morning.  Till then I will be living a ruse, acting as if I have to go to work, then return from work, when I will actually be ... well, I don't know what I'll do.  I'm trying to turn this into some sort of "staycation" where I get to do the things I didn't have time for when I had a full-time job.  In fact I wanted to -- and guess I still do want to -- make an itinerary of what I want to do.  Most of it will probably have to do with exercise, since I think I could stand to lose a few pounds and get into better shape.  A lot of it will be time-filling, such as eating breakfast as a means of getting going in the morning and staying awake throughout the day.  There are some tasks I have to do, such as getting my teeth cleaned and going to the podiatrist for my flat feet.  And finally, with some money in hand I am looking forward to some sexytime in the daytime.  I have put out some calls and texts, and hopefully they will get back to me.

With all of that I hope that I'll be occupied enough to make this time off really productive, all while my parents don't know what's really going on.  Cross your fingers that it works.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Dreaming Of Los Angeles?

I had a nightmare that wasn't really scary.  Again, I never quite remember the details, but I remember being in L.A., like, doing things as if I was a resident.  I was living in Los Angeles.

Ever since graduating from college I have thought that I would want to go back to L.A.  Maybe that's a sign?

Saturday, February 14, 2015

OK, So NOW My Car Will Get Fixed!

The weird thing about calling The Mechanic Around The Corner after my car dangerously stalled during rush hour twice early this week is that it has not happened since that call, not even close.  So I had very low hopes that I would be able to duplicate it when I woke up very early, too early this morning to have one of the mechanics ride with me and see if this was going to happen again.  It didn't.

However, as often happens, in many other situations besides trying to figure out what the hell's wrong with my car, something else came up.  It is a very cold morning, and while we were driving I turned the heat on.  As has been going on for months if not years, while I have ventilation system on (heat in the winter, air conditioning in the summer), while the vent's on external and while I am stopped, I smell gas inside the car.  The stopper, one o-ring, and a flex pipe have been replaced over the past few years, with my belief that that would eliminate the odor.  None of them have.

During this drive to replicate the stall I realized I had a stranger in my car that is freezing to death, so I turned it on.  While we were stopped at a red light I smelled the gas/exhaust.  This stranger is a car mechanic, so I took advantage of the situation and brought up another problem with my car: "Do you smell gas?"  To which he replied immediately, "Yeah, I was about to say that."  So, even though I couldn't replicate the car's inability to speed up despite hitting the gas pedal, he had something else he could look at.  Hey, it's not like I have to be anywhere, even if I lied to Father and said I was going out to work out in the morning before heading off to work.  (For the record, I will exercise at some point today because I ate seven slices of pizza during lunch of my last day at work [their treat, just to say thank you] and another four at My Favorite Late Night Italian Place that was free because someone didn't want it or something.  I have to work off 11 slices of pizza.  The going to work party is a total lie.)

Several minutes of scrolling backwards in time through the Calendar app on my iPhone (maybe I'll talk about it some other time) later, the mechanic managing today strolled up to me and said that they found something.  The fuel pressure regulator is leaking.  They showed me the regulator dripping drops of fuel onto, according to him, the manifold.  I asked him if I could drive it as is; I have three weeks of unemployment, and that takes me into the next billing cycle, so I hoped I could delay it so I could charge it to my credit card and pay it a month later than I would if I have the repairs done now.  He recommended against it; he says that the fuel could spark.

That confirmed a fear that I have had playing in my mind ever since I saw a photo of it from a Facebook friend about a month ago.  The son of this Facebook friend was driving a dealer's car while his car was getting fixed.  He apparently saw a lot of smoke while driving it, so much so that he immediately pulled into a a store parking lot and got the hell out of the car.  Then, the car caught on fire.  How in the hell does a dealer's car -- not a beater, a dealer's car -- get set on fire?!  He snapped a photo and sent it to his (hot) mom, who posted it on her Timeline.  I didn't equate my car stalling with it going up in flames, yet sometimes while I have been driving I think of seeing thickening smoke and hoping that I could escape my car before it blows up.

So it looks as if they caught this problem before something that drastic happens (don't know how possible it is, but it's possible).  Moreover, the mechanics think that this fuel pressure regulator may also be the source of the stalling; a leak signals a lack of a vacuum, which prevents smooth acceleration, I guess.  I okayed the repairs.  Thankfully they had a loaner car for me to use to go somewhere more interesting; therefore, I am writing this at a coffeeshop (where I would have gone if they found nothing) while waiting the couple hours to change the pressure regulator -- and, after I realized just before I reached the coffeehouse they might as well, since they have the car, to change the oil and rotate the tires.

I may have said this before, but I'll say it again here: It's not good that I have had to get things in my car fixed many, many times over the past several years, not least because it costs money.  But yet I can't help but feel really good now.  Why?  Because my car is getting fixed -- it's going to get better.  This regulator has to be replaced, but maybe -- I hope, please, Buddha and God -- that this will mean my car won't ever stall again in traffic and the smell of gas will finally, finally! be gone.  Besides, it's not that expensive a fix.  So now I wait with something akin to bated breath.  Fingers crossed.

Friday, February 13, 2015

The Last Day

Well, after almost/about/a little more than half a year, I will be cast off into the unfeeling Real World after today.  This is my last day at the job.

There are a bunch of feelings swirling in my right now, and I think that will change even in the course of my work day.  But I'll be honest with you: I'm kind of angry that I'm losing my job.  It's an irrational anger because I am a temp, and this is a temp job, and I knew that this was going to happen at some point.  But with the test scoring position starting only two weeks from now, and then not knowing where to turn to after that, I am back to being an itinerant servant, wandering from place to place for a handout.  That's how I feel right now, at this moment, and so I'm scared and therefore quite upset.  Now, I don't know if that's going to mean I'm going to throw things around my cubicle.  After all, there are good people there and I might be asked back next season, even after I made such a hash of things this season.  But hey, it's my last day.  What are they gonna do, fire me?  I'm kind of fueled by that defiance right now; it's just not going to manifest itself, lest I do something really dumb.

I will admit there is a certain amount of freedom I feel.  There is stuff to work on today (in fact there is stuff that I could do for the near future; I'm just not going to be asked back to do it), but if it doesn't get done today, it doesn't get done today.  All I can do is all I can; they just have to pick up the rest, that's all.

There are treating me out for lunch today.  That's nice.  But I don't want to reveal too much, mostly because I don't know what the hell I'm going to do, and I don't want them to know that.  As soon as someone asks me, "What job do you have lined up next?" I'll just shrug and get really depressed and quiet.

Nevertheless I think these two weeks inbetween jobs will be good for me.  I'll be able to do some things -- get that dental check-up, see that podiatrist during the day, do my taxes, catch up on my writing a little more, exercise a little more, and, especially, wear jeans now that I don't have to hew to a business casual clothing policy.  At least I'll have that.

Now I go to work, one more time.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher softball (BRAND NEW!!).  Ladies and gentlemen, we have a first in the now ... wow, I've had Wailing And Failing going on for seven years now?!?!?!  Oh, anyway, we have a first -- the first-ever addition to the Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  I still didn't know if I was going to follow Minnesota Golden Gopher softball after watching a couple games in NCAA regionals last year, and I'm afraid I still don't know all the rules and strategies.  But after seeing that this year's team started off the season winning all five games in the Sportco Kick Off Classic in Las Vegas, two players on the squad receive accolades from the Big Ten, and rising in the rankings, I couldn't resist it anymore.  From now, the University of Minnesota softball program will be a fixture in the WMNSS.  This will lengthen the time I need to do the survey -- look at it, there are nine teams this week, and there will be nine teams through next month! -- but they deserve a spot after their magical run last year and a promising start to this year.

The lead dog for the squad in Vegas was their star Pitcher, Sara Groenewegen.  She was a motherfucking monster over the weekend -- 3-0, 26 strikeouts and .88 Earned Run Average.  I saw her in last year's NCAA regional elim game against North Dakota St., and as often happens in softball, Pitchers start off playing on the field before entering the circle.  Let me take you to that tournament game box score to show you how impactful Groenewegen was: Playing First Base to start off the game vs. the Bison, she went 2-for-3 with a walk.  She then relieved last year's ace, Sara Moulton, and struck out a baker's dozen over 6 1/3 innings to get the win in extra innings.  (Being able to throw underhand helps heaps with endurance and position flexibility.)

And Groenewegen went the distance in shutting out Washington in the seasoon-opening game, K'ing nine and allowing only four hits.  Of course it's much easier going the distance when that distance is shorter than usual: Minnesota took an 8-0 lead after five innings, and even though softball games go only seven, the run rule (I would like to use the term "mercy rule," but apparently such dramatic verbiage is frowned upon) applied and gave the Gophers a convincing win over what appears to be the best opponent they faced over the weekend.  In fact, they run-ruled their next two victories, Cal State-Bakersfield (9-1 in five innings) and California-Davis (15-6 in six).

Since it's single digits here in Minnesota, the Golden Gophers will stay the hell away from here for another weekend.  In fact, they won't be playing a home game until two months from now.  That's seven weekends and 30 games!  Man, that's one bitch of a road trip!  This weekend they will visit two cities in Florida: a doubleheader against Stetson tomorrow (Friday) in Deland, then Massachusetts-Lowell and Central Florida Sunday in the city of Clermont.

#0: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -5).  Yeah, what I said last week about them having no shot at making the NCAA Tournament?  Fuck what I said.  Apparently I was wrong.  After gaining a sweep of Ohio St. at Mariucci (by scores of 4-2 and 6-2), they apparently are now The Penultimate Team In, at least according to Jayson Moy, aka J. Brackets at USCHO.  He has been exactly perfect the last four years not only in predicting who makes the NCAAs but also which teams play which and where.  Assuming he is right, right now the Gophers would be the 14th-best team in the field and face North Dakota in the West Regional, played in ... Fargo, which I guess can now host regionals because they dropped the "Fighting Sioux" nickname.  That screams two-and-done, but hey, beats staying home for the tourney.

Don't know if you know this, but the Big Ten is having a down year.  In fact, the conference as a whole is having a shit year.  PairWise-wise, Michigan leads the B1G, but only at twelth.  In fact, J. Brackets last week projected that the Wolverines (aka only the conference tournament champion) would be the only team from the conference to make the 16-team tourney.  (Meanwhile, the multi-bid leagues are Hockey East [not a surprise] and the NCHC [a big surprise].)  The Big Ten, a one-big league?  That makes them, like, the Southland League.  And that's pathetic.  So these Gophs have to get better for the good of the conference, not just for their own fortunes.

Wouldn't you know it?  The club hosts the league-leading Wolverines this weekend.

#-1: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -3).  OK, this may be the best week this squad has had this year.  First, they opened up the second half of their home game against Purdue Saturday on a 21-2 run and held on to outlast the Boilermakers, 62-58.  Then tonight (Thursday night), they went on a mid-first half run and kept it all the way to notch their first road win in conference play, 64-59 in Iowa.  That'll burnish their chances of getting into the NIT ... and yes, there are NIT bracketology (also known as "NITology") sites on the Internet.  I won't link to them because, frankly, I think they're obscene.  I consider them akin to sites that show animal cruelty.

This is a busy week for the team; they play in Indiana for the B1G Sunday Night game, then host Northwestern Wednesday.

#-2: Swarm (Last Week: -6).  In a surprisingly low-scoring scuffle that went into overtime, Swarm Forward (stalwart) Callum Crawford long-balled it past Rochester Goalie Matt Vinc to give the squad a 7-6 win.  The Knighthawks blanked Minnesota 5-0 in the third quarter to take a 6-5 lead, but that was sandwiched by goalless second and fourth quarters, the game-tying goal in a 1-0 fourth scored by Captain and Transition (and stalwart) Andrew Suitor.  Still have no idea if this is a good team, but they are only a game behind East Division-leading Toronto.

They host said Rock tomorrow, Friday the 13th.  (Realized a couple hours ago that I am losing my job tomorrow, Friday the 13th.  That has to be a bad omen.)

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -1).  Well, The Devan Dubnyk Honeymoon had to end some day, and even though Winnipeg's 2-1 OT win (via a breakaway goal from The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers' Dustin Byfuglien -- he's One Of Us, BTW) didn't singlehandedly ruin the Mild's chances of reaching the playoffs, we are getting enough of a sample size for him to at least get more than their fair share of dings.  Nevertheless they are playing much better, getting their winning streak to six after home victories over Colorado and Vancouver.  They currently are fighting the defending champion L.A. Kings and The Team That Was Stolen From Us to even steal one of the playoff spots in the Western Conference ... one of them being the Winnipeg Jets.

They are currently playing the Florida Panthers.  They then play The Bastard Hartford Whalers at the Xcel Energy Center before playing at Vancouver and Calgary.

 #-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  Honestly, things are looking up for the Woofie Dogs.  Sure, they lost to Atlanta and Golden State, but they're the two best teams in the NBA.  (And by the way, I think it's a great thing that the three best teams in The Association are the Hawks, the Warriors and the Memphis Grizzlies.  No Lakers, no Celtics, no Knicks, not even the Spurs.  I think that the hard salary cap gives every organization a chance to win a title, but did you know that the Minneapolis Lakers, L.A. Lakers and Boston Celtics have won almost half of the league's championships?)  But the Wolves battled back to tie Golden State before they lost it late.  And they did play Memphis, the third-best team in the NBA this screening week -- and they won, thanks to Ricky Rubio's late scores, steal and defense.  (They crushed Detroit too, and on the road, no less.  The T-Wolves have won ten in a row over the Pistons?)  Just like the Wild, the Timberwolves didn't panic and instead waited for their best players to get back on the court, and you can see how good this team could be.

Nonetheless they made a couple schematic trades Wednesday, trading away Mo Williams, Troy Daniels and a first-round pick in two transactions in exchange for Gary Neal, Adreian Payne and a second-rounder.  I'm kind of bugged about trading away a first-round selection, but they are getting younger and clearing the way for Andrew Wiggins to get more playing time, which he continues to need to blossom.  I haven't seen him in a long time, but it looks like Wiggins is going to make a statement in this league.

They are off this weekend for the All-Star Game.  Since their next game is Friday, I don't have to talk about these guys for next week's survey ... which makes my work compiling this list a bit shorter, thank Buddha.

#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -7).  Some people say that a team's road record is a good indicator as to how good they'll play at the neutral courts in the NCAA Tournament.  If that's a case, the Goofs' sudden road woes, capped last Thursday with a 95-69 ass-kicking in Illinois, is quite dispiriting.  So some home cooking certainly is the cure for what ailed them; they beat Michigan St. Sunday and drubbed Wisconsin last (Wednesday) night at Williams.  That has stabilized their standing in getting into the Big Dance, even though they now look quite vulnerable away from Dinkytown.  This week: at Penn St., then home to Iowa.

#-6: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2).  They remain second-best in the country, according to the polls.  But Friday's defeat in North Dakota, only their second loss this season, is, to me, very demoralizing.  I don't know Boston College's strength of schedule, but title teams take care of Top 10 teams in the small, not very developed world of women's college hockey.  To lose, and to get shut out in the process?  No bueno, even if they came back to beat the No-Names 3-1 the next day.  That's why I tucked this club behind the U. vagina ballers for this week.

The last WCHA home regular season series is this weekend, and it's another Top 10 team: Sixth-ranked Minnesota-Duluth, they of the team with a lame duck Head Coach.  Seriously, why are they letting an NCAA Champion and current-Top 10 Head Coach go, especially if she said she would take a pay cut to ease the "financial considerations" that led to her sacking?

#-7: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -Infinity).  OK, the bloom is off the rose.  Things were going too well for the Gopher grapplers, but the magic is gone now that they followed up their shameful home loss to Iowa with a 22-13 road loss to then-fifth-ranked Ohio St.  Yeah, they're a good team, but they didn't have these issues with then-second-ranked Oklahoma St. earlier in the season.  Like with softball, I don't know too much about wrestling.  Specifically, I don't think I understand the strategy behind it.  Is J Robinson sitting his best wrestlers for the NCAAs?  Are they hurt?  All I know is they are going sideways at precisely the wrong time; ending the conference season by routing pipsqueak Maryland 34-12 doesn't change things.  They are now as likely to win the NCAA title as previous recent U. clubs are.  Which is to say, no chance.

NWCA National Duals are the next two weeks.  They visit North Dakota St. Sunday.  Why are they visiting NDSU?  I thought the Goofers are the better team.  Eh, whatever, they're not going to win the championship.

Addendum To: Addendum To: Oh, Fuck, Friday Really Is My Last Day At Work. For Reals, Guys

OK, Friday is my last day.  Was told explicitly from my boss in an impromptu meeting yesterday afternoon.  Turns out that this is the point where they could afford to let me and the male of The Two go.  Well, I shouldn't say "afford": I guess my boss feels that although there is plenty of other stuff we could stick around for, we are about to get done with most of the really important stuff -- in fact the stuff that only I can do -- and he has a budget that he needs to hew to, and so he thinks he could not justify keeping us past this point.

Frankly, I'm shocked.  I really, really thought I'd be able to go until test scoring season goes into full bloom, and even though there is a project next month, I really assumed that I could just name the date I get to leave the place, like I basically did last year.  Moreover, I'm depressed -- not just over losing my job and the paycheck that goes with it, but the routine of having something to do and somewhere to go every day.  Even though there were times I didn't want to go to work, I would rather have work that not have it ... assuming unemployment isn't an option, and with my parents home it's not.  Which gets me even more depressed because now I'll have to work out how I'm going to avoid telling my parents that I don't have a job for the next two weeks.  That means keeping up the charade of fucking getting up in the morning, and trying to hide any unemployment information that might come.  There are just so many disruptions that come with losing your job; even though I would resent being lashed to career where you're required to show up, finding a new way to make a living sucks.

But really I'm not concerned about being out of work now because I'm really concerned about my car and dying in it because it stalls out.  I'll probably ruminate on this more later.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

OK, Now I Am Really Scared Of My Car

As I was coming home from work Tuesday, my car stalled.  From a green light, I accelerated just a little, and then it wouldn't speed up.  I hammered the gas pedal down, but it wouldn't speed up.  At all.  And just like when it happened on my way to work Monday, that inability to accelerate lasted, like, five to ten seconds.

What made it worse was that this was afternoon rush hour traffic -- and in the middle of a snow storm, too.  A car merged right behind me.  I assume -- shit, everybody around me assumed -- I was going to speed up, but I didn't, so he barely had enough room to get behind me and then slow down when he realized he was going too fast.  And that's what really scares me; I could have been in an accident.  If this continues, I will cause an accident.

(By the way, when the accelerator finally kicked in, the car still didn't feel right.  I could hear the hum of the engine, except that it wasn't humming.  It felt like it was hesitating, and then it started to go faster, and then it hesitated again.  That herky-jerky motion lasted for another five to ten seconds before it finally smoothed out and I could accelerate.)

I have to call the shop tomorrow.  Well, first I have to hope and pray that my car doesn't stall out; then I'll call the shop while at work.  Unfortunately, when I got the car back from the last time it was in the shop, I had told them about the problem and they weren't able to reproduce it.  The mechanic said it should be alright so long as the Check Engine light doesn't come on, and it's not on as of right now, but I don't think it's safe now.  And the shittiest part of all of this is that it looks like it's happening more frequently (and for frighteningly longer periods of time), but I still don't know if I can reproduce this.  And if they can't hear and see the problem, how are they going to know if it's the fuel pump or the mass air flow sensor or the electrical wiring system or the fuel filter?  Even though, at this point, that goddamn 5-10 seconds not being able to speed up at all in the middle of rush hour was so terrifying I'm about to just tell them to fucking fix everything.

My car is just gonna die right in the middle of a street when I go to work in the morning, won't it?

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Addendum To: Now I'm Back To Being Afraid Of My Car Again (Scheduled Post)

That thing where I press down on the gas pedal and my car doesn't rev up?  Well, after about a good week of not having that problem, on my drive in to work Monday morning it happened twice.  The first time, just after I got down from my driveway, wasn't bad because no one was on the street.  However, the second time, when I was the first car stopped at a light and there was a line of morning rush cars waiting right behind me, scared the hell out of me.  (The guy who was stalking behind me, waiting for me to accelerate to a safe speed, finally said to hell with it and got in front of me.  He was clear of me by the time the accelerator finally kicked in.)

That is dangerous, real damn dangerous.  Combine that with what essentially is the opposite that happened on my drive home from work: My car was speeding up very slowly, but after I take this right turn my car just zoomed like it was a new car, and I didn't change the pressure on the pedal at all.  So it won't speed up when it should and it speeds up when I didn't ask for it to speed up.  Which makes me wet my pants at how my car's going to react tomorrow.  Worse yet, there's snow on the way, which will effect both commutes.  Will the slow speeds help, or is there a greater chance that I'll get hit by cars surprised at a non-accelerating me?

Monday, February 9, 2015

Addendum To: Alright, Just Chill The Fuck Out, OK?

I should add that I really hope no one from work tells my boss about what happened with the spreadsheets.  Especially the male of The Two.  Though I'm scared he'll act like a little bitch, turn around, and tell him what I did.  Ratting me out, that bastard.  Drama is not necessary, you panicky Hellboy -- just accept my apology and go back and delete the payments, please, without saying a damn thing.

I just know that he's going to say something, though.  And then I'll get in trouble.  Fuck, I'm new to this, but he doesn't care, he's just gonna go, "Aw, I'm trying to the best I can, but then he made me do that!"  Ooh, that would so piss me off. ...

Sunday, February 8, 2015

The Arduous Task Of Picking Out Warby Parker Glasses ... Well, Glasses In General

I have needed a new prescription for at least several years, and last month I finally went in to get an eye test.  Talk about procrastinating -- it's been weeks since I got my eyes checked and I didn't tell you guys ... well, I didn't think it was blog-worthy until now.

Getting new eyeglasses are expensive.  I assumed that my health insurance (which I get through the state, thank goodness) would give me a good deal on frames.  But, like the last time I got new frames, the place I went to (I went to the three at the mall closest to me; one doesn't take state insurance and the other was busy when I dropped by and frankly I've been too lazy to go back there) had such a shitty, underwhelming selection that I went to Plan B: Warby Parker.

Warby Parker probably is the pre-eminent eyeware company that does most of its business online, or at least is the eyeware company with the heaviest online and social media presence, in the country.  They are trying to turn glasses into a fashion statement, but they have combined stylish eyeware with affordable eye lenses to transform the eyeglasses business.  In 2013 they had what they called a "class trip," a travelling store (housed in a school bus) to places in the U.S. where they didn't have stores.  They hit Minneapolis (specifically Uptown) that August.  I had read about this hip new glasses company, how they melded style with affordability and, despite it having a dark side to their philanthropic efforts, I fell under Warby Parker's spell and went to this bus determined to do what this Esquire article said and replace the Ray-Bans that were so wide they would slip off my face if I leaned forward for a long time with the Everett in midnight blue.  And I did and the bus was cool and so were the people helping me.  And the sunglasses were shipped a little later and, even though I wonder if the sunglass frames are too big for me, they do not slip off my face, and therefore I am happy.

---

Before ordering my glasses at the WP website, I started to obsess over something that I wondered about the last time I was purchasing new frames: What kind of eyelgass frames are best for my face shape?  And there's a concurrent question: What is my face shape?  Searching for that, I somehow (I don't remember how) stumbled onto a website about the best type of frames for Asian faces, and then I was reading about the difficulty Asians have of finding glasses that fit -- not face shape, just glasses that accommodate our faces.  Honestly, I have never known until now that my people have regular difficulty with finding eyeglasses for our smaller nose bridge (I think my nose is kind of fat myself) and high cheekbones.  So now I have to worry about this, too?

It was at this point did I realize that I fell into a rabbit hole, and I had two issues to deal with: What kind of shape is my face, and what features on a frame will fit a Chinese face like mine?  There is a website of a San Francisco-based Warby Parker-esque company catering to Asian glass-wearers that will tell you what kind of shape you have (and which of their glasses would look best on you) if you send them a photo.  I did, and the person who told me said I have an oblong shape.  Later, when doing some independent research on what kind of frame shapes fit oblong faces, I ran into many sites that have answers for oval faces, but not oblong.  So there are no frame shapes that make an oblong face like mine look good?  Or am I to think that oval and oblong are pretty much the same thing?  I kind of think they are.  In fact, after looking in the mirror a few times I can be persuaded to believe that my face in fact has an oval shape.  But can I really just find frames that go with oval faces?  I don't know.  It's a pain in the ass.

After sending her measurements of the WP Everett I wear, I was given five frames -- and none of them look like the small oval glasses I prefer.  Really?  These kinds that I wear don't look good on me?  I'm shocked.  I always thought that big, chunky glasses call too much attention to me and my face.  I always thought that these ovals make me look understated and intelligent -- or, in other words, Chinese.  But I guess I was wrong all this time.  Seriously, from, like, my second pair of glasses I have had small oval glasses.  Guess I was doing my face no favors.

For all their efforts I was completely prepared to give them my business.  But then I checked, and the cheapest of the five recommended frames is $250.  Whoa, no thanks.  (That's why I'm not naming or linking to the company.)  There were a couple other companies that I looked into online, but one had all but one style that I would not put on my face even at gunpoint, and the other was so difficult to navigate for glasses online that I cannot on principle give my money to a company that frustrates me with a bad website.  In other words, back to Warby Parker.

But how will I know if the WP eyeglass frames I get have the padding on the nose bridge so they will fit on Asian noses?  I was going to rely on its Try-At-Home feature, where they mail you five frames so you can see how they look on your face, and then you ship them back, all for free.  I didn't want to do it because I just wanted to be done with it, but now I'm obsessed that I'm getting non-Asian eyeglasses.  Luckily, I stumbled onto this blog post where a guy was so kind-hearted as to tell me which of the frames are, um, Asian-worthy.

Some styles have been discontinued since his post, but there are nine that fit me.  I can only ask for five frames for the Try-At-Home.  After considering the dimensions, lens width and frame shape of my WP sunglasses and those of the nine that fit me, and using the five frames I was sent from this Asian glasses company as models (I honestly did not understand the description the person gave me for the frames that look best on me; she said I need an angular frame that's deeper vertically -- what the hell does that mean?!), I think I've settled on five that probably look good on me.  They're a mix of the Everett and some sizes both larger and smaller, a couple square-shaped like the Everett and some that are rectangular and round.  If I'm not totally happy with the way my sunglasses look on me, the five should give me a better alternative, even though I would have been happier with more choices (hell, I'd be happier with going to a WP store).

I had to break some ties with some of the glasses I am about to order for Try-At-Home.  In the end I axed two for superficial reasons.  One shares the name of a certain asshole governor of a state bordering us.  (Esquire's Charlie Pierce has an excellent article on him; I think he'll be the Koch Brothers-backed Republican nominee for President, and I'm really scared that he'll win.)  The other shares the name of The Asshole who yelled at me at work.  Look, I don't have tangible reasons to reject these glasses, but thinking about it I don't want the wear their names on my face, OK?

So at some point I'm going to settle on which color of each of these five frames I want, then I am going to ask for Warby Parker to send these glasses to me, and I'll hopefully tolerate one of them, and then I'll take out $95 from my HSA and finally get new glasses, that are appropriate for my weird oblong face, and finally see properly.  Didn't think it'd take this long or be this complicated, but maybe it is, or maybe I wanted it to be this hard.

Alright, Just Chill The Fuck Out, OK?

Without giving too much away -- probably wouldn't be able to explain it even if I thought I'd be able to tell you everything -- we're putting payments into our system now, so we have to worry about the total of amounts we put in for each claim equal the total amount of the check.  So far -- and we probably have gone through five checks, about half -- it hasn't.

Friday afternoon I realized why.  Again, without getting too deep into it, I know that for some of the packets, payments should not be applied to all of the names on the list.  We have many checks.  Each check is supposed to be for this huge roster (in spreadsheet form) of names.  Meanwhile, we were going off of a different spreadsheet, or in this case, spreadsheets.  Those are not organized by roster; they're organized by packet.  They are different, because the names on a certain packet may have been moved by us to a different insurance company after a roster has been sent (and I send a roster every week).  So I send in an entire roster which includes some names out of this packet.  Later I learn that there are new names that have to be sent on a new roster.  You would not specifically know that, however, on the spreadsheet we are applying payments from unless you know where to look.  I and the male of The Two have not; we've just been shotgunning the names that we see.

I realized this and remember that one of the full-timers said that we're not balancing.  So I told her, because she needs to know, and it's probably better for me that she gets pissed at me now and not later.  I told the male of The Two, and as usual he pissed and moaned about it like a bitch, then talked about it to the full-timer behind my back.  So I had to step in and show the two where on the spreadsheet you can (at least I hope you can) see which payments come from which check.  I don't think going over the spreadsheets we've done will be a hard, just long, and I don't know if it's going to be even be that long.

So all we have to do is, at some point, probably Monday, we'll go through the spreadsheets we've already gone through and remove payments of any person if the information attached to that person shows that it's part of a roster of a different check.  That's all.  I think.  And then the numbers will balance out.  I hope.  So let's just chill the fuck out.  Please.  For me.

Man, maybe I should look forward to losing this job.

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Finally!

I alluded to the other stripper party I went to one weekend when I blogged about the first party I went to this same weekend, and because it makes me happy (plus I promised I would), I'll document it here.  Hope replaying the day makes my dick hard.

The party was at some guy's place -- who, thankfully, was nowhere to be seen the half-hour or so I was there.  This was in a secluded part of the Twin Cities, truly an "over the river and through the woods"-type of place.  Moreover, street parking was at a premium, so when the two strippers who were there told me I could part on the driveway without a permit, I did so fearing that a car would be going down the road too fast and hit my car.  I'll take the risk in order to get what I want from here.

As soon as I get in and survey the place for other guys, I ask what I usually ask the dancers that are there: "Are there no other guys there?"  And *****a, the girl who invited me, said there's no sausage there, not even the host.

Well, you know what that means.

Seeing me there spurred them to get into work mode.  *****a got out her iPhone and flipped it to Pandora, which was going to supply the music they were going to "dance" to.  While crouching down and getting it to the station she wanted, I, standing right beside her, reached into my openly fly and took It out.  Surprise!  She gave my penis a back-handed slap.  "But you said you wanted to see it!" I replied.

And ... for the next few minutes I just let it hang out.  The front door was wide open, and I exposed myself in the living room just to its right, so I had to make damn sure I re-holstered myself as soon as a guy approached.  But I didn't dare just walk around with my cock hanging out either.  I kind of was ... standing where I was, with my little man given space to breathe.  Both of the girls who were there (there was supposed to be four total at this all-day party) walked by, looked at It, and smirked.

The other stripper, who is named ... uh, maybe I'll give her name some other time ... she was on her way to the kitchen as I was soft and out.  The rules of this party changed from what *****a told me earlier that week: Despite my horniness, this was supposed to be a "clean" party, but *****a said that there were rooms available for "dirty" stuff.  That complicated a bunch of things.  One, of course, is money -- namely, I didn't bring enough.  The other is figuring out which of the girls do do nasty shit and which ones don't.  While the rules did change, *****a assured me that some girls are there just to dance, not to touch.  So, for this goth girl who has wicked tattoos all over the place, I didn't know if she did or didn't.

I was also trying to calculate getting a dance (or "dance") from all the girls there while getting home in time for dinner.  Time was short, so I had to get cracking.  My hope was to get down and dirty with *****a first, but she was busy and she encouraged me to start with the other girl.  So, sensing that she doesn't want to play, I put myself back in, went to the kitchen, and asked for a dance.  And getting my wires crossed, I asked for a room.  The simple dances are $20 and out in the couches, but I was hoping that she would touch my pee-pee after all, despite my thinking that she wouldn't.

In the room, I took my shirt off, but kept my pants on and my dick inside.  She got on top of me on this bed (with a great view of the woods in the backyard, BTW) and I think changed her mind and took off her panties, showing her completely shaven twat.  Boob-touching was OK, as it is in all of these house parties.  But when I moved my hands to her down-there place, she grabbed them and threw them by my side.  That leads me to believe she wouldn't give me a handjob.  But she did lift me up off of the bed once were done.

Damn shame that she isn't perverted like me.  She is beautiful.

---

I was still the only customer/guy at the party, which had technically started about 45 minutes ago after getting a dance from that stripper.  I was under a time crunch, but I really want to let go and enjoy myself when there's no other guys around.  So I roped *****a back to the room as soon as I could.

Finally! it was time for her to make good on the sexytime she promised when she said she wanted to see my cock.  Upon entering the room I immediately took off my pants and laid down on the bed.  (She gave me the option of "dancing" standing up.  Since there's no actual dancing involved, I wonder if it would be easier to get off if I weren't lying down.)  *****a laid next to me and, just like that, clasped her left hand around my semi-flaccid member and jacked and twisted it and whatnot.  Wish I were more aroused by the situation; really, I was anticipating something like this for some time, and I had to look down to see me being controlled by her to actually believe it was true.  Unfortunately, I didn't think it was going to happen at this party.  She told me it was clean; I only came because I had refused an invite from her before, and I wanted to remain in her good graces when the time came where she would be able to work like a whore.

Fortunately she was good for the one dance I could afford her.  Even better, she only charged me $40 for that one song (she took her Pandora-loaded iPhone into the room with us; it didn't have to be out in the living room because no one else was there).  Now, there's a five-buck "charge for the room," and because she touched me for the very first time, I rounded up to $50.  But for handies, that's a damn good bargain.

There was a guy who finally came to the party when I stepped out of the bedroom.  Was there an hour, tops.  Good thing I didn't really let loose and scream.  Still would feel much more comfortable if there were no other customers and I can arrange a one-on-one.  But that will be for another time.