One big thing I noticed since I shifted my workday one hour later: Whenever I went to my car for my afternoon nap, the sun bakes my head. I didn't notice this when I working 8-5, but then I was parking in a different part of the vast lot. Maybe the sun in my old area was blocked out by trees. And actually, this week it's been sunny when it's been cloudy most of the time before when I started this assignment. Regardless, whenever I get into the passenger seat and recline onto my already-reclined seat, I feel a part of my head start to get really hot, and so I have to move my head and neck to avoid getting burned by the sun that shines through my windows and onto me.
I thought it was tolerable. But today I felt as though I wanted to try something else. If the sun was streaming through my back windows, why don't I park my car the other way, facing the sun? In this job, nearly all the car spaces on the lot are oriented in one direction, and I have always parked in such a way as to face away from the sun in the afternoon. But I have a sun shade, so if I change up my routine and park so that I face the sun in the afternoon, the sun shade should block out the sun completely. Right?
Uh, no, that isn't what happened. The sun is big enough and was in a part of the sky where it went around the right side of the shade, so that when I got into the passenger seat this afternoon I was staring directly into the sun. So I got out and moved to the driver's seat, where, after I reclined my seat, I was also staring directly into the sun. The sun was inbetween my two sun visors, so even though I had them flipped down, it didn't help at all. And the sun shade is cut out so that that part of my windshield is not covered. All the shades do that. That pisses me off so much.
But I still laid down in the driver's seat because I could contort my body in order to avoid burning my skin. But I had to hike my body lower in the seat. Now, the seat in my car doesn't have great lumbar support to start with (I think it's part of the reason why my back is starting to really hurt). But the seat is contoured so that it would arch forward naturally where my back arches forward. When I hunkered down, I didn't have that. Instead, I was sitting so that the contact point on the seat were my tailbone and the middle of my back, where my spine arches back. If you don't have any support inbetween, well, you get me right now, back barking at me for putting it in such bad shape. Add to that that this was the driver's seat, and so I had to rearrange my legs because my feet are too big to fit inbetween the gas and brake pedals, so my legs hurt, too.
So after about 40 minutes I had to get out of the car, and my back hurts and my legs hurt and I didn't get any sleep. And once I got back to my desk of course I felt all tired again.
So no, parking my car the other way was a mistake, and I should have lived with the sun coming through my back window. But hey, at least I tried something else in order to alleviate myself of an annoyance, and now I know better. Right?
Man, this hasn't been a great 36 hours.
Thursday, November 30, 2017
Oh Yeah, About That
I've been lucky the past several days because, frankly, I haven't done much. Pushing buttons has been my job, especially yesterday (Wednesday). In the meantime I'm waiting for IT to get me clearance to get into this program so I can print stuff. It's been two days now.
I usually check in with my boss just as I am about to leave. He asked me what I had done that day (Wednesday). Seeing that he is my boss, I was kind of confused as to why he asked me what I was doing. I told him the truth: That I was pushing buttons and am still waiting to get this technical bug fixed so I can start printing. That's when I realized, "Oh, shit, I guess I could have called them to see how it's going."
See, if I had more stuff to do, I would be more focused and my mind would be sharper, and thus I would get on this deal with getting this clearance. But because I had very little to do today (thank Buddha, again), the thought I once had during the day of dropping an e-mail and saying, "Hey, what's going on with this thing?" slipped my mind. That's why I sometimes hate being lazy. It's a downward spiral of inertia; if I'm not doing anything, I'm not going to do anything.
My boss told me that while IT is trying to fix the problem, I can ask him to come over and sign me in. That was a thought, but like I said before, he's really busy, and I don't think I can just stomp into his office and prod him into doing something for me. Now I wonder if it's going to boomerang on me, that in my fear of being yelled at for bossing my boss around, he'll just yell at me for not taking the initiative. Saying that, he did warn me before that I could be more proactive in calling IT to get this bug fixed instead of having someone else do it for me, and so this might be, in his mind, another case of me being lazy. Come to think of it, that's exactly what he's thinking. Probably.
I usually check in with my boss just as I am about to leave. He asked me what I had done that day (Wednesday). Seeing that he is my boss, I was kind of confused as to why he asked me what I was doing. I told him the truth: That I was pushing buttons and am still waiting to get this technical bug fixed so I can start printing. That's when I realized, "Oh, shit, I guess I could have called them to see how it's going."
See, if I had more stuff to do, I would be more focused and my mind would be sharper, and thus I would get on this deal with getting this clearance. But because I had very little to do today (thank Buddha, again), the thought I once had during the day of dropping an e-mail and saying, "Hey, what's going on with this thing?" slipped my mind. That's why I sometimes hate being lazy. It's a downward spiral of inertia; if I'm not doing anything, I'm not going to do anything.
My boss told me that while IT is trying to fix the problem, I can ask him to come over and sign me in. That was a thought, but like I said before, he's really busy, and I don't think I can just stomp into his office and prod him into doing something for me. Now I wonder if it's going to boomerang on me, that in my fear of being yelled at for bossing my boss around, he'll just yell at me for not taking the initiative. Saying that, he did warn me before that I could be more proactive in calling IT to get this bug fixed instead of having someone else do it for me, and so this might be, in his mind, another case of me being lazy. Come to think of it, that's exactly what he's thinking. Probably.
Wednesday, November 29, 2017
On Being The Errand Boy
So we have a daily meeting every morning at work. These people are ... to be honest, I have no idea what they do. I think they develop software or something. I can't be more specific because whenever each of these people talk about what they've done and what they're in the middle of, nearly all of the lingo goes over my head, without fail.
It's absolutely nuts how I stick out for my borderline incompetence and obvious uselessness in these meetings. Everyone knows it. And I believe the other guys there have made another judgement about me. You see, I attended meetings like this last year. Some but not all of them were in these same meetings last year. And, just like this year, I glazed over whatever the heck they were talking about.
They all know that I work for my boss and I'm coming up at the behest of my boss. Sometimes he's there, sometimes he's too busy to attend. On those days, I feel as though I'm an emissary, there to bring any important news from the meeting to him. But within that partial aspect of my job, I get the feeling that the others feel that I am not just an emissary. No, I'm an errand boy.
You see where I'm getting at? He hired me. Even though I know nothing about what they're talking about and can't contribute to the meeting at all, he sent me up there just in case. I am completely unequipped, even bumfuzzled, as to what is going on. And at the end of the meeting, if he's at the meeting, I follow him down to our floor. That's the skill set of an errand boy.
My God, I am 41 damn years old and I'm following some dude like Lassie follows Timmy. You know, if I just buckled down and went back to school, I could get a job where I don't follow someone around like my life depended on it. Sheesh.
It's absolutely nuts how I stick out for my borderline incompetence and obvious uselessness in these meetings. Everyone knows it. And I believe the other guys there have made another judgement about me. You see, I attended meetings like this last year. Some but not all of them were in these same meetings last year. And, just like this year, I glazed over whatever the heck they were talking about.
They all know that I work for my boss and I'm coming up at the behest of my boss. Sometimes he's there, sometimes he's too busy to attend. On those days, I feel as though I'm an emissary, there to bring any important news from the meeting to him. But within that partial aspect of my job, I get the feeling that the others feel that I am not just an emissary. No, I'm an errand boy.
You see where I'm getting at? He hired me. Even though I know nothing about what they're talking about and can't contribute to the meeting at all, he sent me up there just in case. I am completely unequipped, even bumfuzzled, as to what is going on. And at the end of the meeting, if he's at the meeting, I follow him down to our floor. That's the skill set of an errand boy.
My God, I am 41 damn years old and I'm following some dude like Lassie follows Timmy. You know, if I just buckled down and went back to school, I could get a job where I don't follow someone around like my life depended on it. Sheesh.
Tuesday, November 28, 2017
Some Initial Thoughts About My New Work Schedule
- Traffic was much better. The big bottleneck from 94 to 35W is totally gone, although today I made the wrong decision, eschewed the connection from 35W to Crosstown and instead thought that staying on 35W till 494 (which had been clear instead of the Crosstown ramp a couple times) and got backed up.
- Today's surprise traffic got me to the parking lot a little later than I wanted. But I was still shocked that in the faraway lot I thought had spaces were down to, like, two spots left. Yesterday there were plenty, even though they were nevertheless far away from the building. But I was, frankly, lucky to get a spot there instead of across the bleepin' street. I think I need to get here earlier, no matter that it might extend my day.
- My walk yesterday from my car to my desk: About five minutes. My walk today from my car to my desk: About eight. Ugh.
Monday, November 27, 2017
And So Today Begins The Journey From My Car To My Work Building
My boss has asked that I start to come in later than I have. Apparently, the 8-to-5 racket doesn't jibe when it comes to the type of work he'll have me do this time of year. Normally I would leap at the chance at a later work day because that means I can sleep in. But in my advanced age, I do so with some trepidation. I have hammered myself into a routine, a part of which includes a general time where I would get up and start work. That has become something I rely on, even something I don't have to even think about, so adjusting my work day is jarring. In fact, if my parents were still at home, I would beg my boss not to ask me to start and end my day late.
But there's another thing that makes me wary about coming in later. The building I work at has limited parking. There are a lot of spaces, but a lot of people work there. The previous two seasons I've been there I have had to walk fairly far away from the entrance to the building. But on my way out last season (which would be this February) the company broke ground on a brand new parking ramp right in the middle of our lot. This presumably would lessen the crunch of parking spaces by staking the cars one atop of another.
I endorsed the idea, even though, with all things in the name of "progress," there would be a little short-term pain. Since the parking ramp took up a good chunk of the parking spaces that were there, that pushed out all the people who would normally park there even further out. The company has lots, but they are way farther than my usual parking spot. So, for the past couple weeks at my job last season I would park in that spot and schlep for, oh, ten minutes or so on my way into the building. It was so far that the company hired a shuttle to ferry all those who parking in the lot where I parked. I rode on it once; it was never there when I parked, so usually I had to hoof it and thus be exhausted by the time I reached my desk.
The worst part about it, however, is that the damn thing still isn't done. I truly thought that the entire ramp would be finished and fully functional by the time I came back. But it's not. My boss said that they said it would be open late November. But then last week I received a company-wide e-mail hailing that the ramp would open December 11. That's two bleeping weeks from now. Also, over the course of the year (unbeknownst to me), they redid the entire parking area just in front of the building to add landscaping. I think it's a security issue; they don't want someone whose spouse died because she didn't have health insurance crashing his car into the front door and then shooting everybody in the lobby. But that just removed even more parking spaces that are a decent distance away from the doors.
Please understand my plight. I have a later start to the day than normal people, many of whom work at the same company I do. So by the time I get to work, all the closest spaces are taken. All the far spaces are taken. I really have no idea what I will face when I drive into work this morning. I could be in the lot on the other side of the light rail. I might have to park across the damn street for all I know. It might take me longer than ten minutes to get from my car to the front door. I'm not exaggerating when I say that after I park, I might have to call Uber or Lyft to get me from my car to the front door.
That possible disruption throws off my entire day. How much time will I need to build in in order to get to my desk on time? And how bad is traffic an hour later? If it's still bad, I might as well shift my day even later. That way, I will still have to contend with a distant spot, but at least I wouldn't have to bang my head against my steering wheel while putting up with rush hour.
These two weeks are going to be a friggin' pain-in-the-ass. And just because my boss wants me to stick around till 5:30 or something. Oy.
But there's another thing that makes me wary about coming in later. The building I work at has limited parking. There are a lot of spaces, but a lot of people work there. The previous two seasons I've been there I have had to walk fairly far away from the entrance to the building. But on my way out last season (which would be this February) the company broke ground on a brand new parking ramp right in the middle of our lot. This presumably would lessen the crunch of parking spaces by staking the cars one atop of another.
I endorsed the idea, even though, with all things in the name of "progress," there would be a little short-term pain. Since the parking ramp took up a good chunk of the parking spaces that were there, that pushed out all the people who would normally park there even further out. The company has lots, but they are way farther than my usual parking spot. So, for the past couple weeks at my job last season I would park in that spot and schlep for, oh, ten minutes or so on my way into the building. It was so far that the company hired a shuttle to ferry all those who parking in the lot where I parked. I rode on it once; it was never there when I parked, so usually I had to hoof it and thus be exhausted by the time I reached my desk.
The worst part about it, however, is that the damn thing still isn't done. I truly thought that the entire ramp would be finished and fully functional by the time I came back. But it's not. My boss said that they said it would be open late November. But then last week I received a company-wide e-mail hailing that the ramp would open December 11. That's two bleeping weeks from now. Also, over the course of the year (unbeknownst to me), they redid the entire parking area just in front of the building to add landscaping. I think it's a security issue; they don't want someone whose spouse died because she didn't have health insurance crashing his car into the front door and then shooting everybody in the lobby. But that just removed even more parking spaces that are a decent distance away from the doors.
Please understand my plight. I have a later start to the day than normal people, many of whom work at the same company I do. So by the time I get to work, all the closest spaces are taken. All the far spaces are taken. I really have no idea what I will face when I drive into work this morning. I could be in the lot on the other side of the light rail. I might have to park across the damn street for all I know. It might take me longer than ten minutes to get from my car to the front door. I'm not exaggerating when I say that after I park, I might have to call Uber or Lyft to get me from my car to the front door.
That possible disruption throws off my entire day. How much time will I need to build in in order to get to my desk on time? And how bad is traffic an hour later? If it's still bad, I might as well shift my day even later. That way, I will still have to contend with a distant spot, but at least I wouldn't have to bang my head against my steering wheel while putting up with rush hour.
These two weeks are going to be a friggin' pain-in-the-ass. And just because my boss wants me to stick around till 5:30 or something. Oy.
Sunday, November 26, 2017
Nightmare Huh?
I was able to sleep for a long, long time Friday night/Saturday morning. It was one of those deals where I slept, woke up, and after a while napped, and (I think I've talked about this before), it's the second sleep where I get this wicked vivid dreams.
This time around I actually had a nightmare ... well, a "nightmare" in my first sleep, which I detailed here. But this second time, right in the middle of the afternoon, after I came home from watching the EPL in downtown Minneapolis and depositing something at the bank for my parents, was weird because the only thing I remember is confronting My Asshole Brother about why he hates me so much. I remember: "Because you betrayed me."
Wait -- how in the hell did I betray him? How??
Personal guilt, that's all. Pffft.
This time around I actually had a nightmare ... well, a "nightmare" in my first sleep, which I detailed here. But this second time, right in the middle of the afternoon, after I came home from watching the EPL in downtown Minneapolis and depositing something at the bank for my parents, was weird because the only thing I remember is confronting My Asshole Brother about why he hates me so much. I remember: "Because you betrayed me."
Wait -- how in the hell did I betray him? How??
Personal guilt, that's all. Pffft.
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
Positive Numbers: Vikings (Last Week: Positive Numbers). I really can't believe it, but the true north star in the local sports scene is the friggin' Minnesota Vikings. On short rest, they went to Detroit and outlasted the Lions on Thanksgiving Day. That puts them at 9-2 and, more importantly, three games ahead of the second-place Lions with a split of the season series. The NFC North is on lock, guys, and that means a spot in the playoffs.
Case Keenum has to be starting Quarterback until he gets hurt, and I don't care how many Teddy Bridgewater lovers are out there. Meanwhile, I hadn't realized until the games against Detroit and The Bastard Cleveland-by-way-of-St. Louis Rams that the defense is really good, especially when it comes to stopping the run. A lot of that has to do to health; the D is uninjured -- so's the offensive line, come to think of it -- and health is one of the main reasons these guys are so good right now. Don't want to worry about when their luck will turn, but for right now, this is a damn good team.
And now they have a week-and-a-half to survive the middle of their three-game roadtrip (seriously, the NFL has to stop schedule three road games in a row for teams) against Atlanta.
#0: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: 0). Have no idea how good this team is supposed to be. But they remain undefeated (6-0) after beating Xavier by a dozen at Williams Wednesday, then defeating Wake Forest also by a dozen at the Lady Rebel Round-Up in Las Vegas yesterday (Saturday). In the win over the Demon Deacons, Carlie Wagner moved into third place all-time in U. women's b-ball history for threes, although I highly doubt she'll catch up to Rachel Banham; she's 136 behind her. The squad plays Nevada-Las Vegas this (Sunday) afternoon for the tournament title, then visit Chapel Hill, N.C. to play North Carolina Wednesday afternoon as, maybe, part of the B1G/ACC Challenge.
#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1). Have no idea how good this team is supposed to be, either, but hey, going undefeated in a screening week is a definite plus in this week's survey, even if you play only one game and the opponent is a pushover. You take 3-1 at Lindenwood, every time. They go for the sweep this (Sunday) afternoon, then come home to Ridder Arena to host Bemidji St. in a Friday-Saturday series.
#-2: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: 0). OK, so this club beat Alabama A&M and Massachusetts and Alabama, the latter two on their way to the Barclays Center Classic title. But they're down here because of the wildest happenings and visuals you may ever see from a college basketball game ever.
So midway through the Second Half, tensions boiled over in yesterday's (Saturday's) game against the Crimson Tide. The Gophers' Dupree McBrayer and Alabama's Dazon Ingram got into it. Apparently, the entire Tide bench got up off the bench and onto the court. That is illegal. And so the referees threw out the entire Alabama bench, five players, for stepping onto the court.
That means that the Crimson Tide were down to the five players that were on the court at the time of the mass ejection. And it got worse. Ingram fouled out shortly thereafter. So Alabama was playing with just four players. And it got even worse. John Petty rolled his ankle and did not come back into the game. So Alabama played the rest of the game with just three players. I mean, just look at this:
OK, so why are the Gophers, who won a tournament title, this low in the survey? Because the Alabama Crimson Tide actually fucking outscored Minnesota 30-22 while playing two men down for the last 10:21 of the game. They actually got the lead the Goofers built up playing 5v5 down to three points with 92 seconds left before the U. made some free throws and finally outlasted the Crimson Tide trio, 89-84. Now, I guess I can imagine the team seeing Petty getting helped off the court and initially thinking, "Fuck yeah, it's 5-on-3, let's beat the shit out of them!" And then they went, "Uh, they're just defending the rim ... what the fuck do we do?" Also, mad props to Freshman Guard Collin Sexton, who dropped 40 on Minnesota and singlehandedly kept 'Bama in the game. But for shit's sake, if you can't just destroy a team playing 5-on-3 and actually have to fucking hang on to beat them instead, well, that's just goddamn unacceptable, you know? I mean, seriously!
It snuck up on me, but one of the three U. tickets I bought way back at the State Fair was for the men's basketball team's B1G/ACC Challenge game, which comes up this Wednesday night. And it's a deceptively good one; the Gophers, currently ranked 14th, host 11th-ranked Miami. The Golden Goofs are still undefeated, but if they play the way they played with two more guys vs. Alabama, this intriguing matchup won't be much of a matchup.
#-3: Wild (Last Week: -4). ARRRGH!!! part one. After a 2-2 screening week which consisted of an Overtime loss at home to New Jersey, a close win at putrid Buffalo, a Shootout victory at the X over Colorado and blowout 6-3 loss to St. Louis where the Blues scored thrice in the Third Period, they remain mired near the bottom of the Central Division while the Blues, Winnipeg and Nashville start to put points ahead of the Mild. I don't know what the hell could be the problem besides the trading of Marco Scandella and the absence of Zach Parise, but I don't think they have it this year. And if they don't make the playoffs, there should be some soul searching within the organization. This week: At sad Bastard Atlanta Thrashers, the first-ever meeting with the expansion club (and surprise hit of the early year) Vegas Golden Knights (no "Las," apparently), then another meeting with St. Louis, this time in St. Paul.
#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3). ARRRGH!!! part two. With all the talent laden on this squad, it's maddening to see them lose by double digits to Charlotte and Miami (the latter at home, for crissake), and just squeak by a rebuilding Orlando team at Target. I don't really buy into "time to gel," not with so many good players, both young and old, on the team. The Woofie Dogs have gone through a huge makeover and yet it feels like the underachieving, mediocre Wolves teams of old. It doesn't matter that these guys are tied for fifth in the Western Conference right now -- this shit has to stop, especially considering they're finishing up a four-game homestand with contests with awful Phoenix and so-so Washington to start their busy week and visiting New Orleans and Oklahoma City to finish it.
#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -5). So I didn't pay $40 to a scalper for a ticket to see Penn St. like I did last year. No, I went onto Stubhub and paid $43.05 to see Penn St., ranked tops in the AVCA, this year. And unlike last year, they lost, and emphatically, in four embarrassing Sets last (Saturday) night. So first, let me say that that was the worst $43.05 I ever spent, and if such a game arises next year, I'm pretty sure the humiliation I feel over shelling out so much money for a loss this disconsolate will weigh on my mind.
Yesterday (Saturday), thinking about the game, I took a closer look at the AVCA Top 25. After their slip-up to Illinois, they dropped to eighth, which I thought was understandable. But then it dawned on me: Wouldn't they want to be ranked in the top four as a sure sign they would be one of the top four seeds for the NCAA Tournament? That way they would assure themselves (assuming they win out) that they would host the first four rounds of the tourney. I kind of took it for granted that even with the slip-ups to Illinois and Purdue and Michigan St., the fact that they're in the toughest conference in College Volleyball Nation will tilt the RPI and other metrics in their favor.
But then I checked the RPI; Minnesota's not in the top four there, either. Oh, shit. That's when I convinced myself that if they beat the Nittany Lions at home, that would totally catapult the club into the Top 4, which I means I could go to Maturi Pavilion and see them cruise to their third straight Final Four. But that went out the door with the loss. So not only will they have to hit the road the second weekend, they might not even get the eight-seed. It's possible they could line up against Penn St. in the regional final in State College. Man, for someone who had this idea that they would be ready to go all the way and finally win their first NCAA title, it's not fun to finally realize that this team isn't as good as I thought it was.
The bracket is announced tonight (Sunday night) at 8. They are assured of playing first- and second-round games at Maturi next weekend.
#-6: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -2). Shit results like this weekend is the reason why there are more and more people who think Don Lucia has to move on. In their first-ever meeting as conference mates, these Golden Goofers got swept at Notre Dame by scores of 1-0 and 5-2. Worst of all, one tweeter believed that the team quit playing in the third period of last (Saturday) night's ass-kicking. If that's the case, there's no hope for this year and this program. Can they get it back up for their Border Battle against Wisconsin next weekend at 3M?
#-Infinity: Gopher football (Last Week: -7). It was a particularly Black Saturday for local sports, especially for the U., especially for U. teams at home. Beyond the humbling by the v-ball squad, the football team ended its terrible first year under P.J. Fleck by getting steamrolled like a cuck at TCF Bank by Wisconsin yesterday (Saturday), 31-0, losing Paul Bunyan's Axe for the 14th consecutive year. They finished the season with back-to-back shutouts, the first time that's happened in Lord Knows When. They generated 46 total yards at Halftime. Gah. And I forgot this little nugget: Because of their current 14-game winning streak, the Wisconsin Badgers now lead the all-time series versus Minnesota for the first ever, at 60-59-8. The way things are trending, Bucky Badger is going to put some distance between it and Goldy Gopher.
I can't help but harken back to Tracy Claeys, who took this team, or at least the program, to a bowl game last year. Has there been this much turnover? Or has Fleck just burned down the entire forest in order to build it up in his own image, and an ending like this is the result?
Oh, and all the hype about getting to a bowl game despite winning only five games has gone to shit. Apparently enough teams have won the requisite games that Minnesota's nifty APR score is not necessary to fill all 39 bowls.
Eh, I throw my hands up. Like I say, you always have to give a mulligan to a Head Coach's first year, and despite all the haters who hate his rah-rah "Row The Boat" BS, I'm willing to give him a chance. But of course, he has to show improvement. Till next year, paddlers.
Case Keenum has to be starting Quarterback until he gets hurt, and I don't care how many Teddy Bridgewater lovers are out there. Meanwhile, I hadn't realized until the games against Detroit and The Bastard Cleveland-by-way-of-St. Louis Rams that the defense is really good, especially when it comes to stopping the run. A lot of that has to do to health; the D is uninjured -- so's the offensive line, come to think of it -- and health is one of the main reasons these guys are so good right now. Don't want to worry about when their luck will turn, but for right now, this is a damn good team.
And now they have a week-and-a-half to survive the middle of their three-game roadtrip (seriously, the NFL has to stop schedule three road games in a row for teams) against Atlanta.
#0: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: 0). Have no idea how good this team is supposed to be. But they remain undefeated (6-0) after beating Xavier by a dozen at Williams Wednesday, then defeating Wake Forest also by a dozen at the Lady Rebel Round-Up in Las Vegas yesterday (Saturday). In the win over the Demon Deacons, Carlie Wagner moved into third place all-time in U. women's b-ball history for threes, although I highly doubt she'll catch up to Rachel Banham; she's 136 behind her. The squad plays Nevada-Las Vegas this (Sunday) afternoon for the tournament title, then visit Chapel Hill, N.C. to play North Carolina Wednesday afternoon as, maybe, part of the B1G/ACC Challenge.
#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1). Have no idea how good this team is supposed to be, either, but hey, going undefeated in a screening week is a definite plus in this week's survey, even if you play only one game and the opponent is a pushover. You take 3-1 at Lindenwood, every time. They go for the sweep this (Sunday) afternoon, then come home to Ridder Arena to host Bemidji St. in a Friday-Saturday series.
#-2: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: 0). OK, so this club beat Alabama A&M and Massachusetts and Alabama, the latter two on their way to the Barclays Center Classic title. But they're down here because of the wildest happenings and visuals you may ever see from a college basketball game ever.
So midway through the Second Half, tensions boiled over in yesterday's (Saturday's) game against the Crimson Tide. The Gophers' Dupree McBrayer and Alabama's Dazon Ingram got into it. Apparently, the entire Tide bench got up off the bench and onto the court. That is illegal. And so the referees threw out the entire Alabama bench, five players, for stepping onto the court.
That means that the Crimson Tide were down to the five players that were on the court at the time of the mass ejection. And it got worse. Ingram fouled out shortly thereafter. So Alabama was playing with just four players. And it got even worse. John Petty rolled his ankle and did not come back into the game. So Alabama played the rest of the game with just three players. I mean, just look at this:
Alabama is playing Minnesota with THREE players! #minnvsbama pic.twitter.com/100xAeRpFq— Yahoo Sports (@YahooSports) November 25, 2017
OK, so why are the Gophers, who won a tournament title, this low in the survey? Because the Alabama Crimson Tide actually fucking outscored Minnesota 30-22 while playing two men down for the last 10:21 of the game. They actually got the lead the Goofers built up playing 5v5 down to three points with 92 seconds left before the U. made some free throws and finally outlasted the Crimson Tide trio, 89-84. Now, I guess I can imagine the team seeing Petty getting helped off the court and initially thinking, "Fuck yeah, it's 5-on-3, let's beat the shit out of them!" And then they went, "Uh, they're just defending the rim ... what the fuck do we do?" Also, mad props to Freshman Guard Collin Sexton, who dropped 40 on Minnesota and singlehandedly kept 'Bama in the game. But for shit's sake, if you can't just destroy a team playing 5-on-3 and actually have to fucking hang on to beat them instead, well, that's just goddamn unacceptable, you know? I mean, seriously!
It snuck up on me, but one of the three U. tickets I bought way back at the State Fair was for the men's basketball team's B1G/ACC Challenge game, which comes up this Wednesday night. And it's a deceptively good one; the Gophers, currently ranked 14th, host 11th-ranked Miami. The Golden Goofs are still undefeated, but if they play the way they played with two more guys vs. Alabama, this intriguing matchup won't be much of a matchup.
#-3: Wild (Last Week: -4). ARRRGH!!! part one. After a 2-2 screening week which consisted of an Overtime loss at home to New Jersey, a close win at putrid Buffalo, a Shootout victory at the X over Colorado and blowout 6-3 loss to St. Louis where the Blues scored thrice in the Third Period, they remain mired near the bottom of the Central Division while the Blues, Winnipeg and Nashville start to put points ahead of the Mild. I don't know what the hell could be the problem besides the trading of Marco Scandella and the absence of Zach Parise, but I don't think they have it this year. And if they don't make the playoffs, there should be some soul searching within the organization. This week: At sad Bastard Atlanta Thrashers, the first-ever meeting with the expansion club (and surprise hit of the early year) Vegas Golden Knights (no "Las," apparently), then another meeting with St. Louis, this time in St. Paul.
#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3). ARRRGH!!! part two. With all the talent laden on this squad, it's maddening to see them lose by double digits to Charlotte and Miami (the latter at home, for crissake), and just squeak by a rebuilding Orlando team at Target. I don't really buy into "time to gel," not with so many good players, both young and old, on the team. The Woofie Dogs have gone through a huge makeover and yet it feels like the underachieving, mediocre Wolves teams of old. It doesn't matter that these guys are tied for fifth in the Western Conference right now -- this shit has to stop, especially considering they're finishing up a four-game homestand with contests with awful Phoenix and so-so Washington to start their busy week and visiting New Orleans and Oklahoma City to finish it.
#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -5). So I didn't pay $40 to a scalper for a ticket to see Penn St. like I did last year. No, I went onto Stubhub and paid $43.05 to see Penn St., ranked tops in the AVCA, this year. And unlike last year, they lost, and emphatically, in four embarrassing Sets last (Saturday) night. So first, let me say that that was the worst $43.05 I ever spent, and if such a game arises next year, I'm pretty sure the humiliation I feel over shelling out so much money for a loss this disconsolate will weigh on my mind.
Yesterday (Saturday), thinking about the game, I took a closer look at the AVCA Top 25. After their slip-up to Illinois, they dropped to eighth, which I thought was understandable. But then it dawned on me: Wouldn't they want to be ranked in the top four as a sure sign they would be one of the top four seeds for the NCAA Tournament? That way they would assure themselves (assuming they win out) that they would host the first four rounds of the tourney. I kind of took it for granted that even with the slip-ups to Illinois and Purdue and Michigan St., the fact that they're in the toughest conference in College Volleyball Nation will tilt the RPI and other metrics in their favor.
But then I checked the RPI; Minnesota's not in the top four there, either. Oh, shit. That's when I convinced myself that if they beat the Nittany Lions at home, that would totally catapult the club into the Top 4, which I means I could go to Maturi Pavilion and see them cruise to their third straight Final Four. But that went out the door with the loss. So not only will they have to hit the road the second weekend, they might not even get the eight-seed. It's possible they could line up against Penn St. in the regional final in State College. Man, for someone who had this idea that they would be ready to go all the way and finally win their first NCAA title, it's not fun to finally realize that this team isn't as good as I thought it was.
The bracket is announced tonight (Sunday night) at 8. They are assured of playing first- and second-round games at Maturi next weekend.
#-6: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -2). Shit results like this weekend is the reason why there are more and more people who think Don Lucia has to move on. In their first-ever meeting as conference mates, these Golden Goofers got swept at Notre Dame by scores of 1-0 and 5-2. Worst of all, one tweeter believed that the team quit playing in the third period of last (Saturday) night's ass-kicking. If that's the case, there's no hope for this year and this program. Can they get it back up for their Border Battle against Wisconsin next weekend at 3M?
#-Infinity: Gopher football (Last Week: -7). It was a particularly Black Saturday for local sports, especially for the U., especially for U. teams at home. Beyond the humbling by the v-ball squad, the football team ended its terrible first year under P.J. Fleck by getting steamrolled like a cuck at TCF Bank by Wisconsin yesterday (Saturday), 31-0, losing Paul Bunyan's Axe for the 14th consecutive year. They finished the season with back-to-back shutouts, the first time that's happened in Lord Knows When. They generated 46 total yards at Halftime. Gah. And I forgot this little nugget: Because of their current 14-game winning streak, the Wisconsin Badgers now lead the all-time series versus Minnesota for the first ever, at 60-59-8. The way things are trending, Bucky Badger is going to put some distance between it and Goldy Gopher.
I can't help but harken back to Tracy Claeys, who took this team, or at least the program, to a bowl game last year. Has there been this much turnover? Or has Fleck just burned down the entire forest in order to build it up in his own image, and an ending like this is the result?
Oh, and all the hype about getting to a bowl game despite winning only five games has gone to shit. Apparently enough teams have won the requisite games that Minnesota's nifty APR score is not necessary to fill all 39 bowls.
Eh, I throw my hands up. Like I say, you always have to give a mulligan to a Head Coach's first year, and despite all the haters who hate his rah-rah "Row The Boat" BS, I'm willing to give him a chance. But of course, he has to show improvement. Till next year, paddlers.
Saturday, November 25, 2017
Nightmare? More Like Dream ... Er, Fantasy -- No, That's Not Quite Right
I just woke up from ... say, imagining that I was at the soundboard of a concert and I was hanging out with both Beck and Katy Perry. Beck said something about playing his set; I think he decided he would play "Dreams." And then Perry was doing something to the board. The operator sitting to my left asked me if we could put drinks on the soundboard, to which I replied that I think he should talk to Perry about it, and when she overheard our conversation, she said no.
That was weird, all the more weird because it wasn't a nightmare.
That was weird, all the more weird because it wasn't a nightmare.
Friday, November 24, 2017
It's Time, Toothbrush, It's Time
I think it's been a week since I brushed my teeth. Maybe more. I don't say that proudly. OK, maybe a little. Just because I don't want to be a normie when it comes to personal hygiene.
Hey, I've been busy. That's always been my excuse for not brushing my teeth, which I have done irregularly for most of my life. You know, I'm busy, I'm tired, I forget, blah-blah-blah. I know this has and will result in permanent damage of my teeth. I don't think I can change, and I don't think I can come back from my recurring negligence.
But I'll give you another reason: The crap on my toothbrush. I blogged about it around Labor Weekend, particularly that I will put up with the crap that has mysteriously formed a ring halfway down all the bristles and continue to use it until the indicator color starts to wear off. Well, it's not wearing off. Maybe those aren't indicator bristles after all.
But the gunk is still there, and it's gotten gross enough for me to finally trash it. I don't know for how long I've used it; I think it's been more than six months, the usual period for a brush before it's recommended you throw it away, but probably a lot less than my preferred period. But if I were honest with myself, I think I have not brushed as often as I could have, and certainly when it comes to the past week or so, if not for that crap.
Thanksgiving Night (yes, technically it's Friday morning, but since I haven't gone to bed for the night yet, I'll say it's Thanksgiving Night) is as good a time as any to lower the curtain on this otherwise trusty toothbrush. After I blog about this, I will brush my teeth with that toothbrush, and then toss it into the garbage can and break open a new one.
Sorry, toothbrush, but it's time. You've been a good one, though, and I thank you for your service.
Hey, I've been busy. That's always been my excuse for not brushing my teeth, which I have done irregularly for most of my life. You know, I'm busy, I'm tired, I forget, blah-blah-blah. I know this has and will result in permanent damage of my teeth. I don't think I can change, and I don't think I can come back from my recurring negligence.
But I'll give you another reason: The crap on my toothbrush. I blogged about it around Labor Weekend, particularly that I will put up with the crap that has mysteriously formed a ring halfway down all the bristles and continue to use it until the indicator color starts to wear off. Well, it's not wearing off. Maybe those aren't indicator bristles after all.
But the gunk is still there, and it's gotten gross enough for me to finally trash it. I don't know for how long I've used it; I think it's been more than six months, the usual period for a brush before it's recommended you throw it away, but probably a lot less than my preferred period. But if I were honest with myself, I think I have not brushed as often as I could have, and certainly when it comes to the past week or so, if not for that crap.
Thanksgiving Night (yes, technically it's Friday morning, but since I haven't gone to bed for the night yet, I'll say it's Thanksgiving Night) is as good a time as any to lower the curtain on this otherwise trusty toothbrush. After I blog about this, I will brush my teeth with that toothbrush, and then toss it into the garbage can and break open a new one.
Sorry, toothbrush, but it's time. You've been a good one, though, and I thank you for your service.
Thursday, November 23, 2017
The Fucking Neighbor, My Goddamn Leaves, That Motherfucking Car
So these guys moved in next door over the summer. West Indian, I believe. (Mother talked about how she wants to move now. I feel as though I've blogged about this here before. ...) The first few weekends they were really loud -- playing music, lot of people coming over and having fun. Not too bad, it's just that I was not prepared to hear neighbors being so, uh, un-Minnesotan, especially since the long-time family these guys replaced were implacable.
Still, I've done the Minnesotan thing and kept to myself. I admit I haven't warmed to him, but I don't think being introverted towards them (if that makes any sense) is a passive-aggressive sign of hostility. I have had only a couple of interactions with them. Once, one of the kids (don't know if he lives there or is a relative who came over) ran across our front yard to talk to people in a car on the far side of our driveway. OK. Then a teenager rang and then knocked on my door, which is something you don't do around here, or at least at my house. Anyway, the guy was wondering if I had a jack. Honestly, I have one in the old car that's currently enveloped under tarp, so I told him no. And that's been it.
---
I was going to blog about how long it has taken for the city to sweep the leaves off of our curbs. It's gotten so late that I noticed after coming home from work that the huge pile of leaves that have accumulated at the end of the boundary of our house haven't been cleared. It's getting cold, and snow is going to fall, and there are still leaves piling up without the city doing anything about it?
Well, the sweepers finally came through on ... Monday, I think? But I couldn't tell when I came home that evening. There were still those damn leaves past our curb. I looked around; everybody else's curbs were a hell of a lot clearer.
This is why. There's a big yellow car parked on our curb, right in front of our property. It's been there since those neighbors had a weekend gathering where they had cars that filled up their driveway and spilled out onto the street. Every other car has left, except this car. And this car is parked at such a spot where the sweeper had to drive around it before getting back to the curb. That is why all the leaves that are in front of our house are still in front of our house. It's the fucking neighbor's fault.
I don't know how, but I know that the city is going to cite us in some way for those leaves. Or, in my pissed and paranoid "fantasy," those goddamn neighbors are going to go to City Hall and complain about the leaves in front of the house -- the leaves that would have been swept up if not for their motherfucking car. At any rate, the snow's going to fall and it's going to encase those leaves until the spring ... unless the car is still there then, forcing the sweeper to go around it a second time.
Why won't those assholes move that fucking car?
Still, I've done the Minnesotan thing and kept to myself. I admit I haven't warmed to him, but I don't think being introverted towards them (if that makes any sense) is a passive-aggressive sign of hostility. I have had only a couple of interactions with them. Once, one of the kids (don't know if he lives there or is a relative who came over) ran across our front yard to talk to people in a car on the far side of our driveway. OK. Then a teenager rang and then knocked on my door, which is something you don't do around here, or at least at my house. Anyway, the guy was wondering if I had a jack. Honestly, I have one in the old car that's currently enveloped under tarp, so I told him no. And that's been it.
---
I was going to blog about how long it has taken for the city to sweep the leaves off of our curbs. It's gotten so late that I noticed after coming home from work that the huge pile of leaves that have accumulated at the end of the boundary of our house haven't been cleared. It's getting cold, and snow is going to fall, and there are still leaves piling up without the city doing anything about it?
Well, the sweepers finally came through on ... Monday, I think? But I couldn't tell when I came home that evening. There were still those damn leaves past our curb. I looked around; everybody else's curbs were a hell of a lot clearer.
This is why. There's a big yellow car parked on our curb, right in front of our property. It's been there since those neighbors had a weekend gathering where they had cars that filled up their driveway and spilled out onto the street. Every other car has left, except this car. And this car is parked at such a spot where the sweeper had to drive around it before getting back to the curb. That is why all the leaves that are in front of our house are still in front of our house. It's the fucking neighbor's fault.
I don't know how, but I know that the city is going to cite us in some way for those leaves. Or, in my pissed and paranoid "fantasy," those goddamn neighbors are going to go to City Hall and complain about the leaves in front of the house -- the leaves that would have been swept up if not for their motherfucking car. At any rate, the snow's going to fall and it's going to encase those leaves until the spring ... unless the car is still there then, forcing the sweeper to go around it a second time.
Why won't those assholes move that fucking car?
For The Greater Good. Maybe.
OK, I knew that if there was one accusation of inappropriate sexual behavior, there would be another, and another, and another. The Bloodletting has taken a third and fourth swipe at Senator Al Franken. I have been OK with the apology the first woman who accused him of groping, Leeann Tweeden, accepted from the senator. The second woman's accusation seemed to be a blow people thought would happen and thus be absorbed. But three and four women? Yeah, that's a pattern.
I cannot defend this anymore. When you have this many people say Franken grabbed him, and when the last two said it happened while he was a senator, well, that establishes a pattern of immorality and creepiness as a public officer. So he must resign.
But ...
Yeah, I'm reconsidering. Even thinking about equivocating makes me sad, because this feels like I have committed to go down a road I don't know if I can come back from. However, I also believe that everybody has a line, and that everyone has a breaking point. What I wonder is if that line and that breaking point changes depending on the circumstance.
This all began from a tweet coming from a source close to Roger Stone, noted Republican PR hitman. Franken has been a notable progressive figure in the Senate, publicly going toe-to-toe with Republicans, especially when it comes to Net Neutrality. The Republicans would love to get Franken's scalp (and by God, in these times, I wonder if I have to apologize for using the Native American stereotype "scalp"). And while his resignation may not tip the balance of power in the Senate -- Democrats don't have the majority and we have a Democratic governor who would replace Franken with another Dem -- he has been a leading voice for so many subjects that, I think, Republicans would be emboldened to take advantage of a humbled, quieted opposition to ram through their agenda.
And what would that agenda include? Well, for example, there's that huge tax bill that would shove what remaining wealth the poor and the middle class have to the 1%. And since Net Neutrality has been a passion for Franken, there won't be anyone who is ready and able to stand in the FCC's way in deregulating and thus turning that utility into the province of the rich as well. Now, it doesn't really matter that a certain person is or is not in the Senate to fight this. There has to be other Democrats who can stand up and fight Net Neutrality with Franken felled and maybe on his way out. But way too often the political winds blow when those fighting those winds feel that they can't, or they shouldn't, or they don't deserve to. What I'm trying to say is that I know that the remaining Democratic senators, or the Democratic voters in Minnesota, or the zeitgeist, will not cause enough of a ruckus that would somehow force Republicans to reconsider. In other words (and to appropriate/twist a phrase often used in government), Republicans will enact their hateful, racist, divisive laws with the consent of the governed.
OK, that might not make any sense. What I am trying to say is that we, as The Resistance, stands to lose a lot if Franken leaves. We have someone who has the will, the intelligence, and the wit to fight against the oligarchy and for the rest of us, The Real Americans. And it's an unassailable fact that we have someone who has also fought tirelessly for women's rights, whether it be control of their bodies or equality in the workplace. Yes, someone like him also groped several women. (I want to add that several women who have worked for him wrote a letter saying that he treated them with the upmost respect. That too has to mean something.) Both facts exist, both facets reside in the same man. So are you really going to cut him loose when The Resistance will be significantly weakened with his departure?
I hate purity tests, almost as much as I hate bitching (can I say the word "bitch?") about purity tests. I hear those who hate being told to shut up about being touched inappropriately so we can fulfill our political aims. But you know what? I'm willing to tell sacrifice them. You know, those who say that Franken unequivocally has to go in order for someone to finally listen to them will lead us to a political beatdown that will eventually result in an anti-choice agenda, poverty for more Americans and rule by the rich. As much as I hate to say this, those who demand this purity test on Sen. Al Franken believe they can withstand any totalitarian rule by Donald Trump and his Republicans. And those who will suffer if this tax plan goes through, and if Net Neutrality becomes a dusty story in history books? Those who demand this purity test on Sen. Al Franken won't listen to those people. You only get angry if your ax is being gored. That's how it usually is in life, but that means that different people will look at the same situation very differently. They need to recognize that.
And remember that while we're squabbling over how much of a pig Al Franken is, Republicans are laughing their asses off. There is manipulation behind this -- that I have no doubt. It's very likely that all of this is a Stone-orchestrated hit, although Franken apparently gave Stone enough ammunition to kill off his political career. Or more likely (although you'll have to work with me here because it has to do with mind games), Stone and Tweeden knew that this is a climate where, if one woman speaks out against Franken, other women who have been groped by Franken would feel safe to also speak out. The Bloodletting would occur organically, and down goes a progressive voice. And the Republicans win again.
The Republicans win again. That's where I wind up. That's the bottom line for me. So yes, I can look away somewhat from these new accusations. I don't want to say that his actions of fighting for pro-woman legislation means more to me than these gropes ... but it does mean more to me. I want those who want Franken's head to think long and hard about what taking out Franken will mean -- not just to them, but to The Resistance, to the country, and to the forces of good, currently being assailed by this fat orange asshole, his morally bankrupt party, and Russia.
While writing this, my line and my breaking point have moved. Yes, open up an investigation to Franken, and if his conduct is bad enough to warrant sanction or censure, good. If he wants to serve out his term and announce he won't run for re-election ... uh, get back to me on this., I don't know how to feel about it right now. But resign? With the stakes so high, and the sanity of our country hanging in such a precarious balance? As impotent as people think Franken is now -- and possibly as he thinks of himself now -- no. Hell no, fuck no. For the greater good. Yep, I said it; for the greater good, Al Franken still needs to stay.
I cannot defend this anymore. When you have this many people say Franken grabbed him, and when the last two said it happened while he was a senator, well, that establishes a pattern of immorality and creepiness as a public officer. So he must resign.
But ...
Yeah, I'm reconsidering. Even thinking about equivocating makes me sad, because this feels like I have committed to go down a road I don't know if I can come back from. However, I also believe that everybody has a line, and that everyone has a breaking point. What I wonder is if that line and that breaking point changes depending on the circumstance.
This all began from a tweet coming from a source close to Roger Stone, noted Republican PR hitman. Franken has been a notable progressive figure in the Senate, publicly going toe-to-toe with Republicans, especially when it comes to Net Neutrality. The Republicans would love to get Franken's scalp (and by God, in these times, I wonder if I have to apologize for using the Native American stereotype "scalp"). And while his resignation may not tip the balance of power in the Senate -- Democrats don't have the majority and we have a Democratic governor who would replace Franken with another Dem -- he has been a leading voice for so many subjects that, I think, Republicans would be emboldened to take advantage of a humbled, quieted opposition to ram through their agenda.
And what would that agenda include? Well, for example, there's that huge tax bill that would shove what remaining wealth the poor and the middle class have to the 1%. And since Net Neutrality has been a passion for Franken, there won't be anyone who is ready and able to stand in the FCC's way in deregulating and thus turning that utility into the province of the rich as well. Now, it doesn't really matter that a certain person is or is not in the Senate to fight this. There has to be other Democrats who can stand up and fight Net Neutrality with Franken felled and maybe on his way out. But way too often the political winds blow when those fighting those winds feel that they can't, or they shouldn't, or they don't deserve to. What I'm trying to say is that I know that the remaining Democratic senators, or the Democratic voters in Minnesota, or the zeitgeist, will not cause enough of a ruckus that would somehow force Republicans to reconsider. In other words (and to appropriate/twist a phrase often used in government), Republicans will enact their hateful, racist, divisive laws with the consent of the governed.
OK, that might not make any sense. What I am trying to say is that we, as The Resistance, stands to lose a lot if Franken leaves. We have someone who has the will, the intelligence, and the wit to fight against the oligarchy and for the rest of us, The Real Americans. And it's an unassailable fact that we have someone who has also fought tirelessly for women's rights, whether it be control of their bodies or equality in the workplace. Yes, someone like him also groped several women. (I want to add that several women who have worked for him wrote a letter saying that he treated them with the upmost respect. That too has to mean something.) Both facts exist, both facets reside in the same man. So are you really going to cut him loose when The Resistance will be significantly weakened with his departure?
I hate purity tests, almost as much as I hate bitching (can I say the word "bitch?") about purity tests. I hear those who hate being told to shut up about being touched inappropriately so we can fulfill our political aims. But you know what? I'm willing to tell sacrifice them. You know, those who say that Franken unequivocally has to go in order for someone to finally listen to them will lead us to a political beatdown that will eventually result in an anti-choice agenda, poverty for more Americans and rule by the rich. As much as I hate to say this, those who demand this purity test on Sen. Al Franken believe they can withstand any totalitarian rule by Donald Trump and his Republicans. And those who will suffer if this tax plan goes through, and if Net Neutrality becomes a dusty story in history books? Those who demand this purity test on Sen. Al Franken won't listen to those people. You only get angry if your ax is being gored. That's how it usually is in life, but that means that different people will look at the same situation very differently. They need to recognize that.
And remember that while we're squabbling over how much of a pig Al Franken is, Republicans are laughing their asses off. There is manipulation behind this -- that I have no doubt. It's very likely that all of this is a Stone-orchestrated hit, although Franken apparently gave Stone enough ammunition to kill off his political career. Or more likely (although you'll have to work with me here because it has to do with mind games), Stone and Tweeden knew that this is a climate where, if one woman speaks out against Franken, other women who have been groped by Franken would feel safe to also speak out. The Bloodletting would occur organically, and down goes a progressive voice. And the Republicans win again.
The Republicans win again. That's where I wind up. That's the bottom line for me. So yes, I can look away somewhat from these new accusations. I don't want to say that his actions of fighting for pro-woman legislation means more to me than these gropes ... but it does mean more to me. I want those who want Franken's head to think long and hard about what taking out Franken will mean -- not just to them, but to The Resistance, to the country, and to the forces of good, currently being assailed by this fat orange asshole, his morally bankrupt party, and Russia.
While writing this, my line and my breaking point have moved. Yes, open up an investigation to Franken, and if his conduct is bad enough to warrant sanction or censure, good. If he wants to serve out his term and announce he won't run for re-election ... uh, get back to me on this., I don't know how to feel about it right now. But resign? With the stakes so high, and the sanity of our country hanging in such a precarious balance? As impotent as people think Franken is now -- and possibly as he thinks of himself now -- no. Hell no, fuck no. For the greater good. Yep, I said it; for the greater good, Al Franken still needs to stay.
Wednesday, November 22, 2017
Fucking Late Again?
I have yet to set up my Internet bill on auto-pay. Don't know why, because for the second time I may have been late in paying.
Both times have happened when my parents were away. And both times happened partly because I lost track of the paper bill that was sent to me. This time, however, I was cognizant of the date it was due, today (Wednesday), and I made a point to remember to just log on, go to the webpage and pay it.
I was going to do it today (Wednesday), but -- and this is where I get Seinfeldian -- I had to use my credit card last (Tuesday) night because, when I stopped by the gas station to pull money out of an ATM before going to see Roman J. Israel, Esq. (great movie, BTW, highly recommend), the goddamn ATM was out of money, and I didn't have time to run anywhere else, so I charged it. And since I want to use only one kind of currency a day, I thought I might as well use my credit card online to pay for the bill that night, meaning Tuesday.
That's when I got floored. The website said that the bill is due not today (Wednesday), but yesterday (Tuesday). Which means I lucked into paying it just in the nick of time. Except that when saw the confirm, it said that the bill will be paid today (Wednesday) -- a day late. The fuck? That's such bullshit. Am I going to have to pay a late fee because of a fucking time zone difference?
Maybe not. The first time I paid my Internet late, and that time it was by several days, I didn't pay a late fee, or at least I don't think I did. So maybe nothing is going to come of this. However, I might just set up auto-pay to make my life easier.
Both times have happened when my parents were away. And both times happened partly because I lost track of the paper bill that was sent to me. This time, however, I was cognizant of the date it was due, today (Wednesday), and I made a point to remember to just log on, go to the webpage and pay it.
I was going to do it today (Wednesday), but -- and this is where I get Seinfeldian -- I had to use my credit card last (Tuesday) night because, when I stopped by the gas station to pull money out of an ATM before going to see Roman J. Israel, Esq. (great movie, BTW, highly recommend), the goddamn ATM was out of money, and I didn't have time to run anywhere else, so I charged it. And since I want to use only one kind of currency a day, I thought I might as well use my credit card online to pay for the bill that night, meaning Tuesday.
That's when I got floored. The website said that the bill is due not today (Wednesday), but yesterday (Tuesday). Which means I lucked into paying it just in the nick of time. Except that when saw the confirm, it said that the bill will be paid today (Wednesday) -- a day late. The fuck? That's such bullshit. Am I going to have to pay a late fee because of a fucking time zone difference?
Maybe not. The first time I paid my Internet late, and that time it was by several days, I didn't pay a late fee, or at least I don't think I did. So maybe nothing is going to come of this. However, I might just set up auto-pay to make my life easier.
Tuesday, November 21, 2017
So I looked up my sister-in-law in our IM chat software; we work in the same building, at least for now.
She changed her name to hyphenate hers with ours to include that of My Asshole Brother. And it is still listed as hyphenated.
I'll be honest: I was kind of hoping she divorced him. Being totally honest.
She changed her name to hyphenate hers with ours to include that of My Asshole Brother. And it is still listed as hyphenated.
I'll be honest: I was kind of hoping she divorced him. Being totally honest.
Monday, November 20, 2017
Guess I'm Working Now
Alright, so my boss got a little pissed at me tonight. Just as I was about to leave, he called me into his office and asked me what I've been doing. And I told him that it was virtually the same thing I have been doing -- pushing these buttons. Can't get into it, but they're supposed to disappear, and if they don't, well, they don't. Haven't been given instructions on what to do, to be honest.
The thing is is that after this daily meeting, I went back to pushing these buttons and they were all gone. I thought that was a good thing. I told him this and he said, "OK, they need to know this." Oh. OK, I'll tell them in the morning, I said.
And then we talked about this program that I am supposed to have. After some wrangling with the IT department, I got it, but the old username and password that I thought would get me in hasn't. When I told my boss this he said, "Well, does (name redacted) know?" And I was going to tell her, but I forgot, so no, I didn't.
This is where I could tell he got a little miffed -- taking strike two probably wasn't a good idea. He asked me to call her in to show her that I couldn't get in. And then he told me that instead of waiting for them to do something about it, that I could ask for IT myself. And he gave me some not-so-subtle hints that I could have done this already.
OK, the thing that most got me is when he said, and I quote, "I am busy, and she is busy." I get that, alright? And I guess I could have shown the initiative and called them, or at least told (name redacted) that I couldn't get in. I admit that I could have done at least that. But first of all, this afternoon, I told him about this problem and he said we'd deal with it later. Second of all, I have done jobs where I thought I could do things in order to do my job, but that didn't go all that well. And third ... uh, third is this guy might be racially insensitive, so what the fuck ever.
Three years and gone still seems like a good idea to me. ...
The thing is is that after this daily meeting, I went back to pushing these buttons and they were all gone. I thought that was a good thing. I told him this and he said, "OK, they need to know this." Oh. OK, I'll tell them in the morning, I said.
And then we talked about this program that I am supposed to have. After some wrangling with the IT department, I got it, but the old username and password that I thought would get me in hasn't. When I told my boss this he said, "Well, does (name redacted) know?" And I was going to tell her, but I forgot, so no, I didn't.
This is where I could tell he got a little miffed -- taking strike two probably wasn't a good idea. He asked me to call her in to show her that I couldn't get in. And then he told me that instead of waiting for them to do something about it, that I could ask for IT myself. And he gave me some not-so-subtle hints that I could have done this already.
OK, the thing that most got me is when he said, and I quote, "I am busy, and she is busy." I get that, alright? And I guess I could have shown the initiative and called them, or at least told (name redacted) that I couldn't get in. I admit that I could have done at least that. But first of all, this afternoon, I told him about this problem and he said we'd deal with it later. Second of all, I have done jobs where I thought I could do things in order to do my job, but that didn't go all that well. And third ... uh, third is this guy might be racially insensitive, so what the fuck ever.
Three years and gone still seems like a good idea to me. ...
Yeah, She Was Done With Me In Five Minutes
So at work during the Vikings game I was sitting on a table five people long. Although two of them were runners, there were so many things we were asked to keep track of, all five of us were tracking things. (I don't think I'll talk about this, but things got so cattywampus that even I began running.)
I remember seeing one of them from Vikings games yore. The other three I don't think I've ever seen before in my life. I still don't know where they came from or how they got this job. I assume that they all know the one person I am familiar with.
As the "veteran" I kind of tried to take charge of the situation, asking the other four who wanted to take which statistic. I kind of knew that that could get some static, and I think that rubbed one of them the wrong way. She was sitting in the seat next to me. She was absolutely hot, wearing a shirt that bared her shoulders. I think she works in broadcast journalism alongside the person I know; they were talking about one of their colleagues working for an NBA team now.
She also admitted, when we spoke to one of the people we were ostensibly working for for the game, that she's not much of a sports fan. She is an ostensible Vikings fan -- because she's from Minnesota, she needs to root for the Minnesota football team. And I'm not sure if knows football. If she is only a casual Vikings fan, how much does she know about football? Whatever, I guess that if she understands what yards after contact means, she can count.
Anyway, while we were divvying up the statistics we were supposed to track, I think I made a comment about how things can get very hectic during the game. To which she says something to the effect of, "Yeah, otherwise they (the people we are working for, I think) might kill us," (I totally could be wrong about even being in the ballpark of this paraphrase), to which I reply, "Unless we kill each other first." To which she replied, under her breath and yet loud enough for me to hear distinctly, "Yeah, whatever."
OK! Now, in retrospect, maybe what I said was a dumb line to utter. All I'm saying is that whenever retorts something to what I say with, "Yeah, whatever," that's proof positive she doesn't really want to have anything to do with me. (And by the way, I don't want to sound all Men's Right's Activist over this. She's just a bitch. That's all I'm saying.) I think her decision to be cold to me from now on bore out during the game. We didn't talk that much, and some disagreement over a notepad aside, we were civil as can be towards one another. But thinking that we were going to be people that actually worked well together flew out the damn window when she said, "Yeah, whatever."
Well, I don't know if I'll ever see her again. I ain't leaving this job; she might not give a damn about it. Yeah, whatever.
I remember seeing one of them from Vikings games yore. The other three I don't think I've ever seen before in my life. I still don't know where they came from or how they got this job. I assume that they all know the one person I am familiar with.
As the "veteran" I kind of tried to take charge of the situation, asking the other four who wanted to take which statistic. I kind of knew that that could get some static, and I think that rubbed one of them the wrong way. She was sitting in the seat next to me. She was absolutely hot, wearing a shirt that bared her shoulders. I think she works in broadcast journalism alongside the person I know; they were talking about one of their colleagues working for an NBA team now.
She also admitted, when we spoke to one of the people we were ostensibly working for for the game, that she's not much of a sports fan. She is an ostensible Vikings fan -- because she's from Minnesota, she needs to root for the Minnesota football team. And I'm not sure if knows football. If she is only a casual Vikings fan, how much does she know about football? Whatever, I guess that if she understands what yards after contact means, she can count.
Anyway, while we were divvying up the statistics we were supposed to track, I think I made a comment about how things can get very hectic during the game. To which she says something to the effect of, "Yeah, otherwise they (the people we are working for, I think) might kill us," (I totally could be wrong about even being in the ballpark of this paraphrase), to which I reply, "Unless we kill each other first." To which she replied, under her breath and yet loud enough for me to hear distinctly, "Yeah, whatever."
OK! Now, in retrospect, maybe what I said was a dumb line to utter. All I'm saying is that whenever retorts something to what I say with, "Yeah, whatever," that's proof positive she doesn't really want to have anything to do with me. (And by the way, I don't want to sound all Men's Right's Activist over this. She's just a bitch. That's all I'm saying.) I think her decision to be cold to me from now on bore out during the game. We didn't talk that much, and some disagreement over a notepad aside, we were civil as can be towards one another. But thinking that we were going to be people that actually worked well together flew out the damn window when she said, "Yeah, whatever."
Well, I don't know if I'll ever see her again. I ain't leaving this job; she might not give a damn about it. Yeah, whatever.
Sunday, November 19, 2017
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
I have to say it, but this is going to be a real bare-bones, half-ass WMNSS. I had to work the Vikings game both yesterday and today, I had to host my alumni club's game last night, and I had to report at U.S. Bank Stadium this morning at 5:30. Suffice it to say, my mind's kind of shot. So this is going to be real short. Oh yeah, since I'm doing this so late Sunday night, I am including all Sunday games:
Positive Numbers: Vikings (Re-Entry!). I don't remember this team having a better 1-2 punch than the Vikings. Thoroughly dominating Washington on the road last week, and then in a vaunted matchup between 7-2 teams (which, surprisingly, was not the top game on Fox), these guys pulled away from The Bastard Cleveland-by-way-of-St. Louis Rams today, a very impressive win. They still have to wrest themselves from Detroit, but they can take a big step towards sealing up the NFC North (and a playoff spot, let alone a first-round bye, which they still have after beating the Rams) by traveling to the Lions and beating them there for the first time in three years on Thanksgiving.
#0 (tie): Gopher men's basketball and Gopher women's basketball (Last Week, respectively: -3 and -4). Can you see the similarities? Both teams went to the state of Rhode Island and won Monday (Providence for the men, Rhode Island for the women). They then come home and win easily versus pasties on back-to-back midweek days (men over Niagara Wednesday, women over VCU Thursday). Finally, in a special Williams Arena doubleheader today, the men cruised over Western Carolina and the women defeated Boston College. I really can't decide which squad had a better screening week, so in an extreme rarity, I give both of them a tie beyond -Infinity because their seasons ended the same week.
#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1). Early losses keep them behind the eight-ball in the WCHA, but at least they didn't lose further ground by sweeping St. Cloud St. at Ridder. I don't know if they've ever played Lindenwood University, but next week they head to the St. Louis suburb of Wentzville, Mo. for a two-game series.
#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -7). Swept Harvard at Mariucci. (Did not go to Friday's game; was just too tired.) But Saturday's game had to go to Overtime, even if it was only 35 seconds before Tyler Sheehy got them the win. It was two victories over a fellow ranked team, however. Next week they play a pair at Notre Dame, the first time they face the Fighting Irish as members of the Big Ten.
#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -8). Oh, they were so close! The club rolled up three victories this week, most notably a 98-86 win at Target over San Antonio, the first time they've beaten the Spurs in 13 games and about three years. (They also outlasted Utah and trounced Dallas around that San Antone win; both the Jazz and Mavericks wins were on the road.) Yet somehow, they lost at home to the Detroit Pistons, 100-97. They now have been swept by Detroit. WTF? The rest of this week: They hopscotch road (Charlotte) and home (Orlando) for the fifth and sixth games, then continue a four-game homestand Friday vs. Miami.
#-4: Wild (Last Week: -6). They extended their winning streak to four games with home victories over Philadelphia (giving them the season, home-and-home-type sweep of the Flyers) and Nashville before laying a turd in Washington, losing 3-1. Despite their better recent form, they are still dead last in the Central Division. Four points behind third, but still. This week the club's busy, and they, like the Wolves, alternate between home and road games for six games: home against New Jersey, at Buffalo, home to Colorado, in St. Louis (the last two games coming back-to-back).
#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -5). Won at Northwestern in four Sets Friday, then lost at Illinois in four Sets Saturday. The Illini are unranked, too. Again, I think losses will do this club good, but ... losing at unranked Illinois? This week they finish up the regular season. They host Rutgers for Black Friday, then play #1 ranked team in the nation, Penn St., Saturday night. I plan on going to my only volleyball match for that contest vs. the Nittany Lions. But will I need to scalp a ticket for a game, like I did last year? And if so, will it cost me $40 like it did last year -- or will it cost me more?
#-6: Gopher wrestling (Re-Entry!). Hey, the Gopher grapplers are back! And they began their year by trouncing the Air Force Sunday, 29-6. And then they went to Stillwater (Oklahoma, not Minnesota) today ... and Oklahoma St. beat the absolute shit out of Minnesota, 30-3. The only match the U. won was at 125, and that happened because fifth-ranked Gopher Ethan Lizak came back from an 8-1 deficit heading into the Third Period to tie third-ranked Nick Piccininni, and then beat him in Overtime. One hell of an effort ... yet it took that herculean effort to avert a complete shutout. Is this the best we can look forward to from this once-proud program from now on? They're off until the Cliff Keen Invitational Dec. 1 and 2.
#-7: Gopher football (Last Week: -2). Yeah, I kind of thought these guys had a ghost of a chance to beat Northwestern at Northwestern. Uh, nope! Didn't notice the Wildcats were ranked, and proved it by shutting out the U., 39-0. So, after finishing the year getting their asses kicked at TCF Bank Stadium this Saturday, they will assume (or hope) their high APR backdoors them into a bowl as a 5-7 squad.
Positive Numbers: Vikings (Re-Entry!). I don't remember this team having a better 1-2 punch than the Vikings. Thoroughly dominating Washington on the road last week, and then in a vaunted matchup between 7-2 teams (which, surprisingly, was not the top game on Fox), these guys pulled away from The Bastard Cleveland-by-way-of-St. Louis Rams today, a very impressive win. They still have to wrest themselves from Detroit, but they can take a big step towards sealing up the NFC North (and a playoff spot, let alone a first-round bye, which they still have after beating the Rams) by traveling to the Lions and beating them there for the first time in three years on Thanksgiving.
#0 (tie): Gopher men's basketball and Gopher women's basketball (Last Week, respectively: -3 and -4). Can you see the similarities? Both teams went to the state of Rhode Island and won Monday (Providence for the men, Rhode Island for the women). They then come home and win easily versus pasties on back-to-back midweek days (men over Niagara Wednesday, women over VCU Thursday). Finally, in a special Williams Arena doubleheader today, the men cruised over Western Carolina and the women defeated Boston College. I really can't decide which squad had a better screening week, so in an extreme rarity, I give both of them a tie beyond -Infinity because their seasons ended the same week.
#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1). Early losses keep them behind the eight-ball in the WCHA, but at least they didn't lose further ground by sweeping St. Cloud St. at Ridder. I don't know if they've ever played Lindenwood University, but next week they head to the St. Louis suburb of Wentzville, Mo. for a two-game series.
#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -7). Swept Harvard at Mariucci. (Did not go to Friday's game; was just too tired.) But Saturday's game had to go to Overtime, even if it was only 35 seconds before Tyler Sheehy got them the win. It was two victories over a fellow ranked team, however. Next week they play a pair at Notre Dame, the first time they face the Fighting Irish as members of the Big Ten.
#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -8). Oh, they were so close! The club rolled up three victories this week, most notably a 98-86 win at Target over San Antonio, the first time they've beaten the Spurs in 13 games and about three years. (They also outlasted Utah and trounced Dallas around that San Antone win; both the Jazz and Mavericks wins were on the road.) Yet somehow, they lost at home to the Detroit Pistons, 100-97. They now have been swept by Detroit. WTF? The rest of this week: They hopscotch road (Charlotte) and home (Orlando) for the fifth and sixth games, then continue a four-game homestand Friday vs. Miami.
#-4: Wild (Last Week: -6). They extended their winning streak to four games with home victories over Philadelphia (giving them the season, home-and-home-type sweep of the Flyers) and Nashville before laying a turd in Washington, losing 3-1. Despite their better recent form, they are still dead last in the Central Division. Four points behind third, but still. This week the club's busy, and they, like the Wolves, alternate between home and road games for six games: home against New Jersey, at Buffalo, home to Colorado, in St. Louis (the last two games coming back-to-back).
#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -5). Won at Northwestern in four Sets Friday, then lost at Illinois in four Sets Saturday. The Illini are unranked, too. Again, I think losses will do this club good, but ... losing at unranked Illinois? This week they finish up the regular season. They host Rutgers for Black Friday, then play #1 ranked team in the nation, Penn St., Saturday night. I plan on going to my only volleyball match for that contest vs. the Nittany Lions. But will I need to scalp a ticket for a game, like I did last year? And if so, will it cost me $40 like it did last year -- or will it cost me more?
#-6: Gopher wrestling (Re-Entry!). Hey, the Gopher grapplers are back! And they began their year by trouncing the Air Force Sunday, 29-6. And then they went to Stillwater (Oklahoma, not Minnesota) today ... and Oklahoma St. beat the absolute shit out of Minnesota, 30-3. The only match the U. won was at 125, and that happened because fifth-ranked Gopher Ethan Lizak came back from an 8-1 deficit heading into the Third Period to tie third-ranked Nick Piccininni, and then beat him in Overtime. One hell of an effort ... yet it took that herculean effort to avert a complete shutout. Is this the best we can look forward to from this once-proud program from now on? They're off until the Cliff Keen Invitational Dec. 1 and 2.
#-7: Gopher football (Last Week: -2). Yeah, I kind of thought these guys had a ghost of a chance to beat Northwestern at Northwestern. Uh, nope! Didn't notice the Wildcats were ranked, and proved it by shutting out the U., 39-0. So, after finishing the year getting their asses kicked at TCF Bank Stadium this Saturday, they will assume (or hope) their high APR backdoors them into a bowl as a 5-7 squad.
Saturday, November 18, 2017
OK, So The Thing(s) That Bothered Me At My Previous Job ...
... and it's the one before the one before the one I have now. So it's not the health insurance place, it's not the one where I was done after eight days, but the one before that, the one that was, like, five minutes from home. They have bathrooms, two of them. Each of them only had one stall, however, and so if I felt the presence of someone waiting to take a shit, I felt the need to rush my dook. I hate that.
But this is worse. I noticed that the bottoms of the stall door and the stall partitions were really high. I mean, like, really high. Like longer than a foot. I could easily slide under that. I think someone could stoop and look up without wrenching his back. It was extremely disconcerting, so much so that, more than the thought of someone waiting for me to get done with the toilet, the prospect of some fuckin' pervert seeing me excrete made me duck in and out of there as soon as I could.
Really, I could see myself quitting my job over that if it lasted more than the month that it did.
Why in the hell were those doors and partitions so goddamn high?
But this is worse. I noticed that the bottoms of the stall door and the stall partitions were really high. I mean, like, really high. Like longer than a foot. I could easily slide under that. I think someone could stoop and look up without wrenching his back. It was extremely disconcerting, so much so that, more than the thought of someone waiting for me to get done with the toilet, the prospect of some fuckin' pervert seeing me excrete made me duck in and out of there as soon as I could.
Really, I could see myself quitting my job over that if it lasted more than the month that it did.
Why in the hell were those doors and partitions so goddamn high?
Expenses Without Receipts
Starting from Friday, November 17:
- Went to this art exhibit that opened ... unlike other exhibitions at this place, I was really impressed with the pieces. A lot of it were the price points for them. I mean, I don't think I'll buy any of them, but most of them were reasonable, about $200-$500. Most pieces at other exhibitions start at $500 and often sell for four figures. The other impressive thing about this exhibit is the artist's manifesto. Many times it's a bunch of pretentious gobbledygook. But I could actually understand what she was trying to do with her artwork, and she was fairly straightforward with the lexicon she used. I think that's the reason why so many of her pieces had the orange dot, meaning they were already sold (although they may have sold way before the exhibition opened; I have a feeling I don't exactly know how that works). And I love the theme: The trope of the nag, the curmudgeonly and evil old woman that, I realized, transcends culture. I liked the presentation so much I gave a buck beyond the minimum asked donation: $4.
- I then went to Glam Doll, where I was helped by two people I have never seen before, therefore I had to pay full price for both of my donuts. With pourover and tips: $10.29.
- Charged everything to the credit card on the 16th, so we go back to Wednesday the 15th, where I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division). I asked for a Sprite because the bartender didn't have coffee and didn't want to brew an entire cup just for me. And the damn thing is now three bucks, a quarter more than the last time I went there, a mere five days before. Is coffee three bucks now, too? Pretty soon the prices for these drinks are going to match those of actual strip clubs. I'm serious, I'm really bothered by this price inflation for non-alcoholic drinks. Anyway, they were one girl short, and two of the three working demand five bucks on-stage, so I only stage-tipped one girl. But I got a lap dance from one of the other two, Jade. Total: $26.
- All the way back to Sunday, November 12, the morning of which I spent at Caffetto to do the Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey. Small mocha plus tip: $4.
- On Saturday the 11th I was at our alumni club's downtown haunt for the game. Attendance has really spiraled downward since our blowout loss a few weeks ago, even though this game was being played in the afternoon. With tip: $13.
- I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) afterward. Molly spilled my Sprite (which was priced at $2.75 lo those days ago) when she went in for a hug. Molly volunteered to get me a replacement for free after getting off onstage; then the waitress (a stripper who I haven't seen in a while) saw this and got the replacement before Molly came down. Gave the waitress a buck for doing so. But when she came down, I got a lapper from Molly, like I agreed to. With stage tips: $30.75.
- To Friday the 10th, where I went to a party way out in St. Paul. Pretty wild. Saw ****e for the first time in a long time, and took her up to the VIP, where, you know. Saw ****a for the first time in, like, a decade. Got a dance from her, as well as from host *****a, who was "celebrating" her birthday. With cover and tips (these parties are just going to nickel-and-dime me to death) and the total damage was: $185.
- Went to Glam Doll afterward. I've built enough familiarity with the people who work there now that I was offered a second donut for free. Ah! With pourover and tip it came out to just: $7.40.
- Back to Wednesday, November 8 -- told my parents that I wanted to go to the library after dinner. Mother wanted me to print out some real estate stuff for her. Total: $1.
- On Monday the 6th I went to Caffetto after dinner because my parents were fucking driving me nuts. Pumpkin pie, Boylan Cane Cola, tip: $7.
- And on Sunday the 5th I went to Caffetto again, or at least I think. I think I didn't intend on going there. I wanted to go to Diamonds Coffee, which is much closer to home. But when I went there, I saw that the parking lot was all torn up. Since I had nowhere to park, I decided to go to another place sort-of close by, Sip. But they were closed on Sundays. So, even though I was driving my parents' minivan (they wanted to use my newer car to drive all the way to see their niece and My Asshole Brother) and they didn't want me to drive it very far, I drove it very far, all the way to Caffetto. Small mocha plus tip: $4.
- Thursday, November 2: Another party, this one also in St. Paul, this one sparsely attended. There were two other men who were there, but one of them was in the dining room where two girls I was with were also sitting. And then, when he went upstairs to the VIP, the other guy came down from the VIP. I could have done a lot of private things in the dining room. Took *****e* up to the VIP myself. Also got a dance from ****e*, who invited me to this party. With cover (and thank goodness there was no dumb extra "fee") and all told it came out to: $160.
Friday, November 17, 2017
Al Franken Needs To Stay
I am horrified by the picture and the accusations. Truly, I am. But after the visceral reactions have faded, I feel more confident in thinking that Sen. Franken is definitely not in the same league as Roy Moore, the President, or Harvey Weinstein, or Louie C.K.
First of all -- and you may not like this, even though I consider myself fairly liberal -- there are shades of gray to all things. Sticking your tongue down a woman's throat without her permission and pretending to grope her while she is sleeping is disgusting and hurtful. But while it is sexual assault -- and the woman, Leeann Tweeden, has the right to decide whether or not it is -- that pales in comparison to having a history of hitting on teenagers when you're a 30-year-old district attorney (such as Moore), getting caught on tape saying that he could get away with touching a girl's pussy (such as Trump), bullying women into massaging him and then threatening to end their careers if they talked (such as Weinstein), or even masturbating in front of women without their permission (such as C.K.). There is a difference. I am not going to say that it's hypocritical to defend Franken while demanding Trump to be impeached. Sexual assault is not sexual assault is not sexual assault. And zero tolerance will only lead to false equivalence.
Second of all -- and I might lose more of you here -- this happened before he became a senator. I saw one tweet that went something like, "Your current accomplishments cannot wash away your past indiscretions." If that's the case, then no one's redeemable. For fuck's sake, he was a comedian! He was a writer on Saturday Night Live back in its infancy, a time where, I hear, there were a lot of stories about the staff there acting inappropriately. To be honest, with his history I am surprised as shit he was elected senator -- and frankly, if more stories like this came about from those days, that's when there would be so much baggage with him where I would change my mind and say he has to step down now. But whatever his behavior towards Tweeden or any other woman in the past, he has been a consistent champion of women's rights (reproductive, workplace, sexual assault) now that he's a senator. If that photo came out while he was running against Norm Coleman, he wouldn't have had the chance to redeem himself. But the reality is is that he has. So, as repugnant as his past actions are -- and they are repugnant -- I cannot just ignore all the good he has done for women in his current role. As is, I can forgive the past.
"So," Republican critics/straw men would say, "how come you forgive Franken for his past and not Moore for his?" That leads me to my third point, and I will lose even more of you when I admit this: We need him in the Senate. We need to be pragmatic here; Republicans, who believe that they control women's bodies, don't care if women get paid significantly less than men, and think that rape is the woman's fault, will pop the champagne if they get Franken run out of town. You may not like Franken's actions, but forcing him to leave the Senate only gives power to people who think women are inferior to men and have no problem acting laws to codify that subjugation. You think keeping a sexual assaulter in the Senate is bad now? Just wait until you let a whole party of them run Congress (although, since Republicans control both houses, they sort of do run Congress). A Senate with Franken (who, BTW, I hear is kind of a dick) is a hell of a lot better for our side -- the morally correct side -- than one without him. For the politics alone, he has to fucking stay.
Oh, and my final reason, one that comes into focus only with the patience that comes with the setting of the sun: This was a hit. A tweet by a cocksucker of Roger Stone, crazy Republican cheap shot artist (who was permanently banned from Twitter for threatening CNN anchor Don Lemon) alluded to Franken getting busted for this. That tweet came out between twelve and 20 hours before Tweeden released her statement. Tweeden is also a diehard Republican who has appeared on Hannity from time to time. I'm not saying she made this up; the photo alone is ample evidence to believe her story. But between her political leanings, the smoking gun/tweet, and the Russian bots who keep whipping up arguments over this, this was planned. Yes, Al Franken gave those people the gun, but they were smart enough to shoot it at the right time, when an embattled Senate candidate is facing plunging poll numbers and Congress passed a tax bill that will redistribute wealth to the 1%. That should give you pause -- not to Franken's innocence, but to the machinations which may result in his downfall, and to the motives of people who want to see him disgraced.
You can accuse me of enabling sexual predators all you want. I don't care. Al Franken is a good Senator who did a bad thing when he was a comedian, and evil Republicans want to capitalize on that inappropriate behavior to wage class war on this country. He has to stay. For the greater good, he has to stay.
First of all -- and you may not like this, even though I consider myself fairly liberal -- there are shades of gray to all things. Sticking your tongue down a woman's throat without her permission and pretending to grope her while she is sleeping is disgusting and hurtful. But while it is sexual assault -- and the woman, Leeann Tweeden, has the right to decide whether or not it is -- that pales in comparison to having a history of hitting on teenagers when you're a 30-year-old district attorney (such as Moore), getting caught on tape saying that he could get away with touching a girl's pussy (such as Trump), bullying women into massaging him and then threatening to end their careers if they talked (such as Weinstein), or even masturbating in front of women without their permission (such as C.K.). There is a difference. I am not going to say that it's hypocritical to defend Franken while demanding Trump to be impeached. Sexual assault is not sexual assault is not sexual assault. And zero tolerance will only lead to false equivalence.
Second of all -- and I might lose more of you here -- this happened before he became a senator. I saw one tweet that went something like, "Your current accomplishments cannot wash away your past indiscretions." If that's the case, then no one's redeemable. For fuck's sake, he was a comedian! He was a writer on Saturday Night Live back in its infancy, a time where, I hear, there were a lot of stories about the staff there acting inappropriately. To be honest, with his history I am surprised as shit he was elected senator -- and frankly, if more stories like this came about from those days, that's when there would be so much baggage with him where I would change my mind and say he has to step down now. But whatever his behavior towards Tweeden or any other woman in the past, he has been a consistent champion of women's rights (reproductive, workplace, sexual assault) now that he's a senator. If that photo came out while he was running against Norm Coleman, he wouldn't have had the chance to redeem himself. But the reality is is that he has. So, as repugnant as his past actions are -- and they are repugnant -- I cannot just ignore all the good he has done for women in his current role. As is, I can forgive the past.
"So," Republican critics/straw men would say, "how come you forgive Franken for his past and not Moore for his?" That leads me to my third point, and I will lose even more of you when I admit this: We need him in the Senate. We need to be pragmatic here; Republicans, who believe that they control women's bodies, don't care if women get paid significantly less than men, and think that rape is the woman's fault, will pop the champagne if they get Franken run out of town. You may not like Franken's actions, but forcing him to leave the Senate only gives power to people who think women are inferior to men and have no problem acting laws to codify that subjugation. You think keeping a sexual assaulter in the Senate is bad now? Just wait until you let a whole party of them run Congress (although, since Republicans control both houses, they sort of do run Congress). A Senate with Franken (who, BTW, I hear is kind of a dick) is a hell of a lot better for our side -- the morally correct side -- than one without him. For the politics alone, he has to fucking stay.
Oh, and my final reason, one that comes into focus only with the patience that comes with the setting of the sun: This was a hit. A tweet by a cocksucker of Roger Stone, crazy Republican cheap shot artist (who was permanently banned from Twitter for threatening CNN anchor Don Lemon) alluded to Franken getting busted for this. That tweet came out between twelve and 20 hours before Tweeden released her statement. Tweeden is also a diehard Republican who has appeared on Hannity from time to time. I'm not saying she made this up; the photo alone is ample evidence to believe her story. But between her political leanings, the smoking gun/tweet, and the Russian bots who keep whipping up arguments over this, this was planned. Yes, Al Franken gave those people the gun, but they were smart enough to shoot it at the right time, when an embattled Senate candidate is facing plunging poll numbers and Congress passed a tax bill that will redistribute wealth to the 1%. That should give you pause -- not to Franken's innocence, but to the machinations which may result in his downfall, and to the motives of people who want to see him disgraced.
You can accuse me of enabling sexual predators all you want. I don't care. Al Franken is a good Senator who did a bad thing when he was a comedian, and evil Republicans want to capitalize on that inappropriate behavior to wage class war on this country. He has to stay. For the greater good, he has to stay.
Thursday, November 16, 2017
So, my parents left last night. And this morning, after fighting traffic and slowdowns and people cutting in front of me and the long walk into the building and deciding not to way behind the queue waiting for the elevator -- oh, and after discovering the wart I cut open shaving Monday has reopened -- you know what? I miss my folks.
Don't tell them that.
Don't tell them that.
Wednesday, November 15, 2017
I really wanted to get to work early because I need to leave early because I need to get home early so I can take my parents to the airport because they want to get to the airport three hours before their flight. Shoot, I woke up early and did some alumni club stuff, so I was awake and ready to leave early. But ... for some reason I lollygagged in my bedroom and I took off only a few minutes earlier than usual, and then -- ffs -- the back-up from 35WS to Crosstown East was even longer than it has been. And so, including one long walk from my car to the building and (because I didn't want to wait for the second elevator because I was kind of pissed) one long walk up four flights of stairs, I basically got here at my usual time.
So now what? Probably cut my lunch to a half-hour. But I'm so tired. ...
So now what? Probably cut my lunch to a half-hour. But I'm so tired. ...
Tuesday, November 14, 2017
O Death
So, I am planning on stopping by a funeral home this evening because the father of a few of my friends died late last week. I had no clue. We are friends, but I don't know if we're so close (at least right now; we were huge friends in high school) that they would feel as though they would let me know their dad was sick. I'm not offended.
Most of the only times I saw him were at the family's house, where I would come to celebrate New Year's. We never had long or deep conversations, but from the conversations I had with him and from observing him interacting with his kids, he was a really nice guy.
There's been an awful recent block of deaths of people two degrees apart or I don't know. Janet Lupo, a very popular Playboy Playmate, died a couple days ago. And a couple of aunts of Facebook friends have died recently. I don't know what's going on, but it feels as though there's a purge of, well, living people.
The past couple nights, as I was turning in to sleep, I jolted myself into sudden shock. Thinking about all this death surrounding me, in particular the father of friends I've known a long time, I realized that this isn't stopping. It's going to continue, and it's going to accelerate, and everyone will have his or her turn at heartbreak. Including me.
My parents are getting up there, but they've got enough energy to go to Vegas soon. But, one day, I'll hear the news that they're really sick. And then it'll dawn on all of us, on me, that either Father or Mother won't get better, and so we'll all face days of decline in health till ... you know. And then I'll try to turn in to sleep, and I'll realize that things won't get better -- that one day, they'll be gone. And then I'll be wishing for the days I am having now, when things are good, before things inevitably age and die.
Most of the only times I saw him were at the family's house, where I would come to celebrate New Year's. We never had long or deep conversations, but from the conversations I had with him and from observing him interacting with his kids, he was a really nice guy.
There's been an awful recent block of deaths of people two degrees apart or I don't know. Janet Lupo, a very popular Playboy Playmate, died a couple days ago. And a couple of aunts of Facebook friends have died recently. I don't know what's going on, but it feels as though there's a purge of, well, living people.
The past couple nights, as I was turning in to sleep, I jolted myself into sudden shock. Thinking about all this death surrounding me, in particular the father of friends I've known a long time, I realized that this isn't stopping. It's going to continue, and it's going to accelerate, and everyone will have his or her turn at heartbreak. Including me.
My parents are getting up there, but they've got enough energy to go to Vegas soon. But, one day, I'll hear the news that they're really sick. And then it'll dawn on all of us, on me, that either Father or Mother won't get better, and so we'll all face days of decline in health till ... you know. And then I'll try to turn in to sleep, and I'll realize that things won't get better -- that one day, they'll be gone. And then I'll be wishing for the days I am having now, when things are good, before things inevitably age and die.
The Back-Stretching Exercises? Yeah, About That. ...
Oh, I don't know if I've yet to talk about going to physical rehab for my bad back. It was killing me to the point where I had to go to a therapist about it. The therapist gave me a few exercises to do; he says if I keep this up, the pain should be totally gone.
Have I done the exercises? Nope. Well, not really. I've done them, sort of, and not as much as has been prescribed. Just don't have the time. And yes, my back is still killing me.
Now is around the time he has asked me to call him. I'm afraid if I tell him the truth, he'll yell at me. Which is further disincentive to call him.
I'm going to be a decrepit old man when I die, won't I?
Monday, November 13, 2017
Damned Coincidence
So I finally ran into my sister-in-law this morning. At the lobby, on our way up. I wanted to be as vague as possible because I didn't really know how much time she had to talk and I didn't really know if she really wanted to talk.
Or, there are other theories. I'll admit that I didn't really want to talk beyond generalities. If they're still together, that meant that she dropped by the house the past few times without me being there, and maybe she's upset that I haven't made time to see her. (That would also mean that she doesn't know that I am absolutely not going to see My Asshole Brother when he drops by.) Or, maybe they're not together and she didn't want to talk about it. Or maybe she's trying to keep it a secret; maybe that's why she spoke only in vague generalities, too. (I'm totally imagining this divorce stuff, aren't I?) You know, the more I think about it, the more likely she's mad at me. I mean, I didn't even tell her I was working here. I thought about it, but ultimately, not telling her was a sign meant to convey that I'm trying to cut My Asshole Brother out of my life.
You know, I wouldn't have seen her if I wasn't late to work. I was late getting out of the house -- had to lotion up -- but I made such good time (and on a Monday morning!) that it only took me 18 minutes to go from 694 to 35WS. But then I hit the 35WS-to-Crosstown East ramp and I got backed up for ten minutes, and I know for sure much of that was because that damned hauler changed lanes in front of me. Cars cut into that lane before it splits off to Portland Ave. all the time, and of course they will cut in line in front of a big and slow car like a hauler. I swear it would have only took me five minutes to get through that bottleneck if not for that, and so I would have been at the lobby five minutes earlier, and so I would have avoided that interaction, and so I would not be asking myself these questions to the point of paranoia.
Or, there are other theories. I'll admit that I didn't really want to talk beyond generalities. If they're still together, that meant that she dropped by the house the past few times without me being there, and maybe she's upset that I haven't made time to see her. (That would also mean that she doesn't know that I am absolutely not going to see My Asshole Brother when he drops by.) Or, maybe they're not together and she didn't want to talk about it. Or maybe she's trying to keep it a secret; maybe that's why she spoke only in vague generalities, too. (I'm totally imagining this divorce stuff, aren't I?) You know, the more I think about it, the more likely she's mad at me. I mean, I didn't even tell her I was working here. I thought about it, but ultimately, not telling her was a sign meant to convey that I'm trying to cut My Asshole Brother out of my life.
You know, I wouldn't have seen her if I wasn't late to work. I was late getting out of the house -- had to lotion up -- but I made such good time (and on a Monday morning!) that it only took me 18 minutes to go from 694 to 35WS. But then I hit the 35WS-to-Crosstown East ramp and I got backed up for ten minutes, and I know for sure much of that was because that damned hauler changed lanes in front of me. Cars cut into that lane before it splits off to Portland Ave. all the time, and of course they will cut in line in front of a big and slow car like a hauler. I swear it would have only took me five minutes to get through that bottleneck if not for that, and so I would have been at the lobby five minutes earlier, and so I would have avoided that interaction, and so I would not be asking myself these questions to the point of paranoia.
Sunday, November 12, 2017
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -3). This week's survey is a tough one to order. A lot of teams (it's that time of the year), a lot of weeks that compares apples to oranges, and many teams have a lot of mitigating circumstances that gives me pause to putting them as high as I eventually do.
Take the U. women's hockey team. I still think there are problems that I'm not used to seeing from this program. They played a non-power in Mercyhurst. And Friday's contest had to go to Overtime before Taylor Wente scored to give them a 2-1 win. Nevertheless, they swept the Lakers with a 5-2 victory Saturday, and this sweep was on the road, and for this week's WMNSS, that's good enough to claim the top spot, although as a customary -1.
Where this team is will get more credible evidence next week, when the Gophers return home to Ridder and get back into conference play. St. Cloud St. is the foe for the weekend -- not a power, either, but WCHA games are more important than non-WCHA games.
#-2: Gopher football (Last Week: -5). I remember back in 1983 seeing the game, or at least seeing the score, where Nebraska beat the ever-loving shit out of the Golden Goofers by a score of 84-13. I didn't know much about football at the time, but I somewhat knew that that was a lopsided score. Not to say that yesterday (Saturday) afternoon's 54-21 shellacking of the Cornhuskers at Das Bank v.1.0 makes up for it, but this proves that a school that seemed unstoppable can be very stoppable, even mediocre, if you give it time. Sure, this took, oh, 20, 25 years, but life is long, and I have seen a very scary team made to heel by our team, one that, frankly, still isn't good. Meanwhile, the U. has earned its fifth win, and with its high APR, they probably have sealed a birth in some shit bowl somewhere over the holidays.
Of course, they visit Northwestern next Saturday afternoon, and I wouldn't put it past them to upset the Wildcats and win for a sixth time, thus legitimately earning a birth in some shit bowl somewhere.
#-3: Gopher men's basketball (Re-Entry!). The most promising season for the Minnesota men's basketball squad in decades began Friday, where they beat South Carolina-Upstate at Williams Arena, 92-77. Fortified with a starting lineup including Amir Coffey, Reggie Lynch, Nate Mason and Jordan Murphy and exciting Freshman Guard Isaiah Washington, many people think that an NCAA Tournament birth is assured. Some people think these guys are contenders for the Big Ten title. That would be great, almost unheard-of coming from this program. But I hear from some quarters that the offseason's corruption arrests in college basketball, which included the firing as Louisville Head Coach Rick Pitino, will eventually affect Minnesota, mostly because Pitino's son, Richard Pitino, is the Head Coach at the U., and the son had to have learned about how to cheat from the father. That may or may not be the case, and any consequences might not occur until years after this season is over. Until then, let's just lie to ourselves and indulge in what could be a great year.
The schedule gets very credible quickly. The Gavitt Tipoff Games, aka the Big Ten-Big East Challenge, comes tomorrow (Monday), when the U. travels to Providence. They then come back to The Barn to play Niagara.
#-4: Gopher women's basketball (Re-Entry!). And what about this team? Yesterday (Saturday), the U. women's b-ball team crushed Lehigh at Williams, 107-73. That's great, but this team is coming off a 15-16 year, finishing a paltry 5-11 in the B1G. And there is no Isaiah Washington walking through that door. The verdict's still out on Marlene Stollings, whose postseason success has fallen through her three years at the helm (from the NCAA to the WNIT to nothing), and the person who hired her for this job is long gone because of he harassed women. Carlie Wagner remains the best player on this team, but she's a Senior; will she see any postseason success her last year here? (Aside: Of the 13 players on the club, only three are Minnesotans -- two Seniors and a Redshirt Junior.) So, yeah, nice win, but how many more of these are they really going to have?
This week: A true road game against Rhode Island tomorrow/Monday, then hosting VCU Thursday.
#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: 0). Hmmm ... I intimate that a loss wouldn't be the worst thing for this club to refocus their efforts, and then they lose for the first time in 11 games in four Sets at Purdue Friday ... and I'm worried. I mean, what's wrong with this team? Well, maybe I shouldn't panic. They responded Veterans Day with a sweep at Indiana. So they'll slip in the AVCA Top 25, but maybe this defeat will be good for this squad.
After visiting the Indiana schools last weekend, they visit the Illinois schools this weekend -- Northwestern Friday, Illinois Saturday. It'll be the last two road games of their season.
#-6: Wild (Last Week: -4). I'm still very worried about the Mild. Yes, all four games they played this screening week were on the road, so 2-2 (both wins Shutouts) isn't bad. But right now, Jason Zucker has scored the team's last six Goals, so I think you could say these guys have a problem finding diverse scoring. And they are still in last place in the Central, even though they are two points behind fourth place. Still not on track.
They finished the week blanking the Flyers in Philadelphia last (Saturday) night, 1-0. They complete an elongated home-and-home by hosting the Broad Street Bullies Tuesday. They also host Nashville Thursday, then head out to Washington to face Alex Ovechkin and the Capitals Saturday.
#-7: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1). Both teams at Michigan this weekend went to OT. The Friday game ended in defeat in Overtime; Saturday went all the way to a Shootout, which they won, so even though it officially is recorded as a Tie, the Golden Goofers get an extra point in the B1G for the SO win. I think. Really, this is, like, half a win they take back from Ann Arbor.
Non-con games are the least important games in a schedule. Nevertheless, I love these opponents because it stands out in comparison to your usual games against Wisconsin et al. I have not seen Harvard play here before, at least I don't think. Moreover, that the two-game series against the Crimson (being played at 3M) occurs at a random mid-November date makes this even more conspicuous, and for variety's sake, that's a good thing. Will I watch a game, though? Hmmm. ...
#-8: Timberwolves (Last Week: Positive Numbers). A week where they burn through much of the currency they gained the week before. They crushed Charlotte at Target Sunday, but then they showed how far behind they are against the Golden State Warriors, losing 125-101 Wednesday. But I think last (Saturday) night's 118-110 at Phoenix was worse because the Suns are in a naked rebuilding job right now. They have Devin Booker and that's it. And yet it looks as though they weren't in this game at all. I heard Dan Barreiro on KFAN this (Sunday) morning saying that Jeff Teague blows hot and cold. If that's true, particularly that he can hurt a team with his lackadaisical attitude and play, is he really any better than Ricky Rubio?
Well, coincidentally enough, the Woofie Dogs travel to Mormon Land to face Ricky-Ricky and The Bastard New Orleans Jazz Monday. They then hopscotch: Home to San Antonio Wednesday, then at Dallas Friday.
#-Infinity: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -6). Well, the haters and naysayers were right: The University of Minnesota women's soccer team were not selected for the NCAA Tournament -- a surprise to many bracketologists and fans, not a surprise to a few others. I still think this was kind of screw job because the experts thought these Goofers should be in, but there were a lot of reasons you can point to for their exclusion. The biggest example? They shouldn't've lost to Wisconsin at home to start the B1G Tournament. Also, they finished the year losing three of their last five matches. And how about that game vs. Michigan Sep. 21, where they gave up the game-tying Goal with 19 seconds left in regulation? It is kind of surprising that a record of 11 Wins, 3 Draws and 5 Losses eliminates you from the postseason; college tournaments aren't this tough to get into. But right now, I'm of the thinking that this club had its chances and failed to seal the deal. One more win and they'd be playing this weekend.
And now what of this team, which won the double and was a national seed in 2016? They lose a lot of talent -- Tori Burnett, Maddie Gaffney, Julianna Gernes, Kellie McGahn and most of all, Sydney Squires. April Bockin, Molly Fiedler and Emily Heslin will return to lead this XI, but this team is rapidly getting younger, and right now there isn't a whole lot of success to believe that things are on the up and up. So, what now?
Take the U. women's hockey team. I still think there are problems that I'm not used to seeing from this program. They played a non-power in Mercyhurst. And Friday's contest had to go to Overtime before Taylor Wente scored to give them a 2-1 win. Nevertheless, they swept the Lakers with a 5-2 victory Saturday, and this sweep was on the road, and for this week's WMNSS, that's good enough to claim the top spot, although as a customary -1.
Where this team is will get more credible evidence next week, when the Gophers return home to Ridder and get back into conference play. St. Cloud St. is the foe for the weekend -- not a power, either, but WCHA games are more important than non-WCHA games.
#-2: Gopher football (Last Week: -5). I remember back in 1983 seeing the game, or at least seeing the score, where Nebraska beat the ever-loving shit out of the Golden Goofers by a score of 84-13. I didn't know much about football at the time, but I somewhat knew that that was a lopsided score. Not to say that yesterday (Saturday) afternoon's 54-21 shellacking of the Cornhuskers at Das Bank v.1.0 makes up for it, but this proves that a school that seemed unstoppable can be very stoppable, even mediocre, if you give it time. Sure, this took, oh, 20, 25 years, but life is long, and I have seen a very scary team made to heel by our team, one that, frankly, still isn't good. Meanwhile, the U. has earned its fifth win, and with its high APR, they probably have sealed a birth in some shit bowl somewhere over the holidays.
Of course, they visit Northwestern next Saturday afternoon, and I wouldn't put it past them to upset the Wildcats and win for a sixth time, thus legitimately earning a birth in some shit bowl somewhere.
#-3: Gopher men's basketball (Re-Entry!). The most promising season for the Minnesota men's basketball squad in decades began Friday, where they beat South Carolina-Upstate at Williams Arena, 92-77. Fortified with a starting lineup including Amir Coffey, Reggie Lynch, Nate Mason and Jordan Murphy and exciting Freshman Guard Isaiah Washington, many people think that an NCAA Tournament birth is assured. Some people think these guys are contenders for the Big Ten title. That would be great, almost unheard-of coming from this program. But I hear from some quarters that the offseason's corruption arrests in college basketball, which included the firing as Louisville Head Coach Rick Pitino, will eventually affect Minnesota, mostly because Pitino's son, Richard Pitino, is the Head Coach at the U., and the son had to have learned about how to cheat from the father. That may or may not be the case, and any consequences might not occur until years after this season is over. Until then, let's just lie to ourselves and indulge in what could be a great year.
The schedule gets very credible quickly. The Gavitt Tipoff Games, aka the Big Ten-Big East Challenge, comes tomorrow (Monday), when the U. travels to Providence. They then come back to The Barn to play Niagara.
#-4: Gopher women's basketball (Re-Entry!). And what about this team? Yesterday (Saturday), the U. women's b-ball team crushed Lehigh at Williams, 107-73. That's great, but this team is coming off a 15-16 year, finishing a paltry 5-11 in the B1G. And there is no Isaiah Washington walking through that door. The verdict's still out on Marlene Stollings, whose postseason success has fallen through her three years at the helm (from the NCAA to the WNIT to nothing), and the person who hired her for this job is long gone because of he harassed women. Carlie Wagner remains the best player on this team, but she's a Senior; will she see any postseason success her last year here? (Aside: Of the 13 players on the club, only three are Minnesotans -- two Seniors and a Redshirt Junior.) So, yeah, nice win, but how many more of these are they really going to have?
This week: A true road game against Rhode Island tomorrow/Monday, then hosting VCU Thursday.
#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: 0). Hmmm ... I intimate that a loss wouldn't be the worst thing for this club to refocus their efforts, and then they lose for the first time in 11 games in four Sets at Purdue Friday ... and I'm worried. I mean, what's wrong with this team? Well, maybe I shouldn't panic. They responded Veterans Day with a sweep at Indiana. So they'll slip in the AVCA Top 25, but maybe this defeat will be good for this squad.
After visiting the Indiana schools last weekend, they visit the Illinois schools this weekend -- Northwestern Friday, Illinois Saturday. It'll be the last two road games of their season.
#-6: Wild (Last Week: -4). I'm still very worried about the Mild. Yes, all four games they played this screening week were on the road, so 2-2 (both wins Shutouts) isn't bad. But right now, Jason Zucker has scored the team's last six Goals, so I think you could say these guys have a problem finding diverse scoring. And they are still in last place in the Central, even though they are two points behind fourth place. Still not on track.
They finished the week blanking the Flyers in Philadelphia last (Saturday) night, 1-0. They complete an elongated home-and-home by hosting the Broad Street Bullies Tuesday. They also host Nashville Thursday, then head out to Washington to face Alex Ovechkin and the Capitals Saturday.
#-7: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1). Both teams at Michigan this weekend went to OT. The Friday game ended in defeat in Overtime; Saturday went all the way to a Shootout, which they won, so even though it officially is recorded as a Tie, the Golden Goofers get an extra point in the B1G for the SO win. I think. Really, this is, like, half a win they take back from Ann Arbor.
Non-con games are the least important games in a schedule. Nevertheless, I love these opponents because it stands out in comparison to your usual games against Wisconsin et al. I have not seen Harvard play here before, at least I don't think. Moreover, that the two-game series against the Crimson (being played at 3M) occurs at a random mid-November date makes this even more conspicuous, and for variety's sake, that's a good thing. Will I watch a game, though? Hmmm. ...
#-8: Timberwolves (Last Week: Positive Numbers). A week where they burn through much of the currency they gained the week before. They crushed Charlotte at Target Sunday, but then they showed how far behind they are against the Golden State Warriors, losing 125-101 Wednesday. But I think last (Saturday) night's 118-110 at Phoenix was worse because the Suns are in a naked rebuilding job right now. They have Devin Booker and that's it. And yet it looks as though they weren't in this game at all. I heard Dan Barreiro on KFAN this (Sunday) morning saying that Jeff Teague blows hot and cold. If that's true, particularly that he can hurt a team with his lackadaisical attitude and play, is he really any better than Ricky Rubio?
Well, coincidentally enough, the Woofie Dogs travel to Mormon Land to face Ricky-Ricky and The Bastard New Orleans Jazz Monday. They then hopscotch: Home to San Antonio Wednesday, then at Dallas Friday.
#-Infinity: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -6). Well, the haters and naysayers were right: The University of Minnesota women's soccer team were not selected for the NCAA Tournament -- a surprise to many bracketologists and fans, not a surprise to a few others. I still think this was kind of screw job because the experts thought these Goofers should be in, but there were a lot of reasons you can point to for their exclusion. The biggest example? They shouldn't've lost to Wisconsin at home to start the B1G Tournament. Also, they finished the year losing three of their last five matches. And how about that game vs. Michigan Sep. 21, where they gave up the game-tying Goal with 19 seconds left in regulation? It is kind of surprising that a record of 11 Wins, 3 Draws and 5 Losses eliminates you from the postseason; college tournaments aren't this tough to get into. But right now, I'm of the thinking that this club had its chances and failed to seal the deal. One more win and they'd be playing this weekend.
And now what of this team, which won the double and was a national seed in 2016? They lose a lot of talent -- Tori Burnett, Maddie Gaffney, Julianna Gernes, Kellie McGahn and most of all, Sydney Squires. April Bockin, Molly Fiedler and Emily Heslin will return to lead this XI, but this team is rapidly getting younger, and right now there isn't a whole lot of success to believe that things are on the up and up. So, what now?
Saturday, November 11, 2017
Breaths, Deep Breaths
OK, so I went to a stripper party, and two of the strippers invited me to another party, this one a non-stripper party, but it was at ****i's place. I thought, "Oh, cool, a party where there will be no nudity but I won't have to pay anything!" So I got my rocks off at the party, and I told the two girls that I will go the party before them.
So I go to the party and I knock, and after I knocked a second time, ****i answers the door. "Oh, hell, no," she says, to which I reply, "I know it's not that type of party -- so-and-so and so-and-so invited me." And then she says, "Fuck no," and slammed the door in face. I could hear her say from behind the door, "Get the fuck outta here."
This is one of those occasions where I brush it off as it happens but it pisses me off the more I think about it. It's the rudeness and the passive-aggressive comments from someone who knows me that makes me want to throw things and scream at the nearest stranger. Now, I don't consider her a close friend. In fact, she's acted weird and even crazy before. But not like this. Hey, maybe it's because I haven't attended her last few parties. If so, well, bitch, I won't be attended any of your parties from now on.
Still mad. But I have to keep things in perspective. One, it's just one stripper. Two, I was able to blog this and do some work with my alumni club, so at least I was productive. And three, I read on Facebook that the father of a few friends of mine died this morning. I'm still fixated over how this woman treated me, but really, I have to get a grip.
Breaths, deep breaths.
So I go to the party and I knock, and after I knocked a second time, ****i answers the door. "Oh, hell, no," she says, to which I reply, "I know it's not that type of party -- so-and-so and so-and-so invited me." And then she says, "Fuck no," and slammed the door in face. I could hear her say from behind the door, "Get the fuck outta here."
This is one of those occasions where I brush it off as it happens but it pisses me off the more I think about it. It's the rudeness and the passive-aggressive comments from someone who knows me that makes me want to throw things and scream at the nearest stranger. Now, I don't consider her a close friend. In fact, she's acted weird and even crazy before. But not like this. Hey, maybe it's because I haven't attended her last few parties. If so, well, bitch, I won't be attended any of your parties from now on.
Still mad. But I have to keep things in perspective. One, it's just one stripper. Two, I was able to blog this and do some work with my alumni club, so at least I was productive. And three, I read on Facebook that the father of a few friends of mine died this morning. I'm still fixated over how this woman treated me, but really, I have to get a grip.
Breaths, deep breaths.
Friday, November 10, 2017
Phew, They're Leaving!
Parents told me last night that they are going back to Vegas. THANK GOD!!!
Moreover, when they told me they were leaving, Mother said, "We'll leave you alone now." To which I muttered under my breath, "Thank you." Like My Father invading my privacy by cleaning my room and doing my laundry, I think they're now used to (well, maybe tolerate to an unreasonable extent) my need for them to leave me the eff alone. Hey, at least they know.
This relieves me of a burden I've been worried about: Needing to face My Asshole Brother for Thanksgiving Dinner. If my folks aren't here, there will be no Thanksgiving Dinner with him. So all I have to worry about now is this weekend. He came over last weekend, so the chances of him coming over again is low. Nevertheless, I think I've got enough energy to stay out of the house both Saturday and Sunday afternoon, just to make sure.
Moreover, when they told me they were leaving, Mother said, "We'll leave you alone now." To which I muttered under my breath, "Thank you." Like My Father invading my privacy by cleaning my room and doing my laundry, I think they're now used to (well, maybe tolerate to an unreasonable extent) my need for them to leave me the eff alone. Hey, at least they know.
This relieves me of a burden I've been worried about: Needing to face My Asshole Brother for Thanksgiving Dinner. If my folks aren't here, there will be no Thanksgiving Dinner with him. So all I have to worry about now is this weekend. He came over last weekend, so the chances of him coming over again is low. Nevertheless, I think I've got enough energy to stay out of the house both Saturday and Sunday afternoon, just to make sure.
Thursday, November 9, 2017
Mistake?
I was in the middle of a boring project at work, so I gave myself a quick break by going on the Internet. I know I shouldn't, but everyone does it, and like I think I've said before, if they really don't like me surfing the 'Net, then they wouldn't've hired me back.
But I don't know whether I'm pushing it. Late today I was on the Rolling Stone website and, because I'm curious, I clicked on this story about a former librarian who became a porn star and is somehow changing the technology behind how we experience porn. This was a worksite, so there are restrictions as to what websites you can go to. I tried checking on a gambling site today, for example, and that was restricted. But since this is Rolling Stone, looking at a story through that was permitted. Saying that, however, I have got to believe that IT is able to find out where exactly I'm clicking. And if someone is concerned over how much time I spend on the Internet, and if those IT people start digging, and if they don't like it, well, I might not be long for this job.
Oh yeah, also because I was horny, I thought of that hot fan from the World Cup from several years ago -- what's her name and which country is she from. Her name, by the way, is Larissa Riquelme, from Paraguay, whose photo of her watching a game with her phone wedged in her big tits, was from the 2010 World Cup. I could get fired for looking up her as well.
But I don't know whether I'm pushing it. Late today I was on the Rolling Stone website and, because I'm curious, I clicked on this story about a former librarian who became a porn star and is somehow changing the technology behind how we experience porn. This was a worksite, so there are restrictions as to what websites you can go to. I tried checking on a gambling site today, for example, and that was restricted. But since this is Rolling Stone, looking at a story through that was permitted. Saying that, however, I have got to believe that IT is able to find out where exactly I'm clicking. And if someone is concerned over how much time I spend on the Internet, and if those IT people start digging, and if they don't like it, well, I might not be long for this job.
Oh yeah, also because I was horny, I thought of that hot fan from the World Cup from several years ago -- what's her name and which country is she from. Her name, by the way, is Larissa Riquelme, from Paraguay, whose photo of her watching a game with her phone wedged in her big tits, was from the 2010 World Cup. I could get fired for looking up her as well.
Oh Yeah, The World Series ...
It ended a week ago, more than a week ago. Yeah-yeah, the Houston Astros won, congratulations to them, blah-blah-blah. ... I do appreciate a longstanding franchise finally winning a championship for the first time. But this team ... man, I just didn't get into this team, nor this series.
A few reasons why. Foremost among them is that I did have a dog in this race -- my Dodgers! And since my team lost, I am very bummed. Second of all, the hyperefficiency of sabremetrics has been so stark this World Series that, in the few innings I actually saw, it looked like a sport I had never seen before. One of the things these advanced statisticians (who now control many front offices) is The Three True Outcomes: Walk, Strikeout, and Home Run. Batters are now, unconditionally, told to arc the motion of their bat so that, if they make contact, they will arc the pitch and, if they hit the ball at the right spot and hit it with enough power, it'll reach the seats. They might swing and miss and strike out, but if the reward is a homer, sabremetricians say that that risk is worth it. So that's why this season has seen record numbers of both Ks and HRs. Baseball, in essence, has become an efficiency machine. It basically is college softball now. And while I understand any system (in this case baseball) finally hammering itself into "perfection," efficiency sure as hell isn't fun. No singles, no baseball.
But the final reason I couldn't get into this World Series is Yuli Gurriel and that fuckin' bullshit slant-eyed racial slur after he went yard on Yu Darvish. I know that if Commissioner Rob Manfred even tried to suspend him during the Fall Classic, the players' union would get him to play by appealing that decision. But Manfred, in circumventing such a move and instead suspending him for five games starting next season, let Gurriel off the hook by keeping him in the most important games in baseball. And he delivered, probably including off Darvish in the fateful Game 7, even though Darvish probably and stupidly tipped his pitches. He was rewarded with his racist gesture with a World Series ring, and I sure as hell can't abide by that. Fucking Gurriel.
A few reasons why. Foremost among them is that I did have a dog in this race -- my Dodgers! And since my team lost, I am very bummed. Second of all, the hyperefficiency of sabremetrics has been so stark this World Series that, in the few innings I actually saw, it looked like a sport I had never seen before. One of the things these advanced statisticians (who now control many front offices) is The Three True Outcomes: Walk, Strikeout, and Home Run. Batters are now, unconditionally, told to arc the motion of their bat so that, if they make contact, they will arc the pitch and, if they hit the ball at the right spot and hit it with enough power, it'll reach the seats. They might swing and miss and strike out, but if the reward is a homer, sabremetricians say that that risk is worth it. So that's why this season has seen record numbers of both Ks and HRs. Baseball, in essence, has become an efficiency machine. It basically is college softball now. And while I understand any system (in this case baseball) finally hammering itself into "perfection," efficiency sure as hell isn't fun. No singles, no baseball.
But the final reason I couldn't get into this World Series is Yuli Gurriel and that fuckin' bullshit slant-eyed racial slur after he went yard on Yu Darvish. I know that if Commissioner Rob Manfred even tried to suspend him during the Fall Classic, the players' union would get him to play by appealing that decision. But Manfred, in circumventing such a move and instead suspending him for five games starting next season, let Gurriel off the hook by keeping him in the most important games in baseball. And he delivered, probably including off Darvish in the fateful Game 7, even though Darvish probably and stupidly tipped his pitches. He was rewarded with his racist gesture with a World Series ring, and I sure as hell can't abide by that. Fucking Gurriel.
Wednesday, November 8, 2017
The Tides Of Fantasy Football Swung My Way Monday Night!!!
And now, an update on my fantasy football teams:
They're middling right now. On the auction side (the one I run as commissioner), I went big, laying $80 of my $200 bankroll on David Johnson, which, as you may know, went down to injury and is likely done for the year. I also spent $15 on the now-IR'd Greg Olsen, so that's 47.5% of my imaginary money that went up in smoke.
Nevertheless, even though I am at 4-5 right now, I still have a fighting chance of maintaining my sixth-place spot and thus getting into the Championship Bracket of my league playoffs. That included surviving my match-up this week. I was, like, 3.3 points ahead of my opponent going into the Monday night game, and I was afraid my Matt Prater wasn't going to withstand his Ameer Abdullah. But Prater outpointed Abdullah, 12-9.7, so I was able to eke out a 5.6-point win. Just need to hold and grind my to victory.
The other league, the one that drafts instead of auctions, is sort of different. That league, which I participate in but don't run, is a little more cutthroat because the commissioner decided not to put an embargo on players on the waiver wire while games are going on. That means that whenever some schlub gets on the field because the guy ahead of him is out for the rest of the game and has a monster day, a guy from this league can just go to the list and pick him up, probably even before the game is over. I don't care about fantasy football that much, so I usually am late to getting all the prized pick-ups.
Nevertheless there are four games left. And in a 12-team league, where it cleaves in two for the playoffs, I am in ninth place but only one game behind five teams tied for fourth. I'm 4-5 there too, but I've won three in a row.
That third win was a nail-biter, maybe as close a game as I've ever had in my fantasy football career. In fact, I still don't exactly know how I pulled off the win, because in the middle of the Lions-Packers game, I was down by five points or so. Worst of all, I was done; all my starters had already played, while my opponent had both Theo Riddick and the Green Bay defense.
My parents were driving me batty, so even though I didn't want to spend money on Monday, I went to Caffetto just to get the hell away from them. I was listening to the MNF game on SiriusXM; at the same time I brought up the matchup of both of my teams on Yahoo! Sports. And my heart sank when I looked at my draft league, because the lead I barely got after the Sunday games turned into a, oh, four- or five-point deficit.
On this matchup page, Yahoo! gives a probability bar, the chances throughout the course of a gameday that a fantasy football team will beat the other. As it stood late in the MNF game, even though the gap was small, I had only a 5% chance to win my fantasy game. I doubted that Riddick could run up more points late in the game, even if the Lions were winning and thus would be more likely to run the ball to run out the clock. It was the Packers' D that still could have impacted my final score. Detroit, when I joined in listening the game, put up 27 points on Green Bay. That translates to a 0 when it comes to "Points Allowed," which is but one of the things that goes into the Packers' D score for the league. The Lions were lining up for a Field Goal; I checked the points list for our league. An opponent reaching 30 points means that D/STs actually get dinged one point. So a kick by Matt Prater means that my fantasy foe would lose only one point, so the deficit would become either four or three points. In other words, no difference, and I would suffer a very close loss.
But then, the weirdest thing. Prater nails the FG ... and all of a sudden I'm leading the game by, like, 1.16 points. That was a swing of five or six points. How did that happen with just a kick? I still don't get it. But I saw that I went from having a 5% chance of winning the game to either a 72% or 73% chance of winning. And then Green Bay stalls and the Lions run out the clock with Riddick riding the pine, and I win outright. So even though I don't know how I did it, I churned out a pair of very close victories. Nice work if you can get it!
They're middling right now. On the auction side (the one I run as commissioner), I went big, laying $80 of my $200 bankroll on David Johnson, which, as you may know, went down to injury and is likely done for the year. I also spent $15 on the now-IR'd Greg Olsen, so that's 47.5% of my imaginary money that went up in smoke.
Nevertheless, even though I am at 4-5 right now, I still have a fighting chance of maintaining my sixth-place spot and thus getting into the Championship Bracket of my league playoffs. That included surviving my match-up this week. I was, like, 3.3 points ahead of my opponent going into the Monday night game, and I was afraid my Matt Prater wasn't going to withstand his Ameer Abdullah. But Prater outpointed Abdullah, 12-9.7, so I was able to eke out a 5.6-point win. Just need to hold and grind my to victory.
The other league, the one that drafts instead of auctions, is sort of different. That league, which I participate in but don't run, is a little more cutthroat because the commissioner decided not to put an embargo on players on the waiver wire while games are going on. That means that whenever some schlub gets on the field because the guy ahead of him is out for the rest of the game and has a monster day, a guy from this league can just go to the list and pick him up, probably even before the game is over. I don't care about fantasy football that much, so I usually am late to getting all the prized pick-ups.
Nevertheless there are four games left. And in a 12-team league, where it cleaves in two for the playoffs, I am in ninth place but only one game behind five teams tied for fourth. I'm 4-5 there too, but I've won three in a row.
That third win was a nail-biter, maybe as close a game as I've ever had in my fantasy football career. In fact, I still don't exactly know how I pulled off the win, because in the middle of the Lions-Packers game, I was down by five points or so. Worst of all, I was done; all my starters had already played, while my opponent had both Theo Riddick and the Green Bay defense.
My parents were driving me batty, so even though I didn't want to spend money on Monday, I went to Caffetto just to get the hell away from them. I was listening to the MNF game on SiriusXM; at the same time I brought up the matchup of both of my teams on Yahoo! Sports. And my heart sank when I looked at my draft league, because the lead I barely got after the Sunday games turned into a, oh, four- or five-point deficit.
On this matchup page, Yahoo! gives a probability bar, the chances throughout the course of a gameday that a fantasy football team will beat the other. As it stood late in the MNF game, even though the gap was small, I had only a 5% chance to win my fantasy game. I doubted that Riddick could run up more points late in the game, even if the Lions were winning and thus would be more likely to run the ball to run out the clock. It was the Packers' D that still could have impacted my final score. Detroit, when I joined in listening the game, put up 27 points on Green Bay. That translates to a 0 when it comes to "Points Allowed," which is but one of the things that goes into the Packers' D score for the league. The Lions were lining up for a Field Goal; I checked the points list for our league. An opponent reaching 30 points means that D/STs actually get dinged one point. So a kick by Matt Prater means that my fantasy foe would lose only one point, so the deficit would become either four or three points. In other words, no difference, and I would suffer a very close loss.
But then, the weirdest thing. Prater nails the FG ... and all of a sudden I'm leading the game by, like, 1.16 points. That was a swing of five or six points. How did that happen with just a kick? I still don't get it. But I saw that I went from having a 5% chance of winning the game to either a 72% or 73% chance of winning. And then Green Bay stalls and the Lions run out the clock with Riddick riding the pine, and I win outright. So even though I don't know how I did it, I churned out a pair of very close victories. Nice work if you can get it!
Tuesday, November 7, 2017
Pushy, Pushy
So I have a hike to get from my parking spot at work to the building. Five minutes, maybe more. This (Tuesday) morning I was walking to the front door along with everybody else who thought to come in at 8.
Although the parking lot's been revamped this past year, there are no easy paths for workers to get from the lot to the building. There are no sidewalks or crosswalk markings, for example. So it's up to us to navigate around cars coming in while finding places to walk without getting in the way.
I was doing that when, as I was approaching this deadened patch of grass that seemingly everyone walks on on the way inside, this woman race-walks past me. Like it was a fucking race inside. We were going to the same place, and she kind of nudges past me. She was a bit too close for comfort. It was weird. And then I saw her basically cut in front of another woman on the way to the secure door every employee needs to go through. She couldn't slow her roll and file behind this woman, like a respectful member of society? How rude!
And then I saw her cram her way into the first open elevator even though other people were waiting in the lobby longer than she did; it just so happened that the bay that opened opened closer to her than to the dozen or so other people who were waiting. (I myself couldn't get into that one, nor the next one, but that was because the dumbass stopped in his tracks and let other people get onto the second elevator, physically blocking my way in the process. Idiot.)
I just don't understand why in the hell one would risk such societal, public umbrage just so you can get to your desk at a self-appointed time. Is it worth it to piss people off with your uncouth manners ... and to do so at a place where the people you piss off see you day after fucking day? How stupid is this woman! How dare she do that!!
Although the parking lot's been revamped this past year, there are no easy paths for workers to get from the lot to the building. There are no sidewalks or crosswalk markings, for example. So it's up to us to navigate around cars coming in while finding places to walk without getting in the way.
I was doing that when, as I was approaching this deadened patch of grass that seemingly everyone walks on on the way inside, this woman race-walks past me. Like it was a fucking race inside. We were going to the same place, and she kind of nudges past me. She was a bit too close for comfort. It was weird. And then I saw her basically cut in front of another woman on the way to the secure door every employee needs to go through. She couldn't slow her roll and file behind this woman, like a respectful member of society? How rude!
And then I saw her cram her way into the first open elevator even though other people were waiting in the lobby longer than she did; it just so happened that the bay that opened opened closer to her than to the dozen or so other people who were waiting. (I myself couldn't get into that one, nor the next one, but that was because the dumbass stopped in his tracks and let other people get onto the second elevator, physically blocking my way in the process. Idiot.)
I just don't understand why in the hell one would risk such societal, public umbrage just so you can get to your desk at a self-appointed time. Is it worth it to piss people off with your uncouth manners ... and to do so at a place where the people you piss off see you day after fucking day? How stupid is this woman! How dare she do that!!
Nightmare
I had two sleep periods this morning. The first went from, oh, 12:30 until 3, and the second went from, uh, 4:30 till the 6:30 alarm woke me up.
Something that I don't ever remember happening before: The vivid nightmare happened earlier in my night, not later. Maybe that's why I was so awake for 90 minutes overnight ... and why I'm dragging right now.
The only things I remember about this particular nightmare is that people from my alma mater, wearing my alma mater's clothing, was following me. About what, I no longer remember. But it was one of those "chasing" nightmares I always get. Hmmm. ...
Something that I don't ever remember happening before: The vivid nightmare happened earlier in my night, not later. Maybe that's why I was so awake for 90 minutes overnight ... and why I'm dragging right now.
The only things I remember about this particular nightmare is that people from my alma mater, wearing my alma mater's clothing, was following me. About what, I no longer remember. But it was one of those "chasing" nightmares I always get. Hmmm. ...
Monday, November 6, 2017
So My Fucking Father, probably due to not having anything else to do and also (maybe) due to his fucking dementia (I'm kidding, it's probably his goddamn OCD) cleaned up my room again, but this time he took it an invasive step farther. He threw all the stuff on my dresser drawer and nightstand into three bags and set them on the floor. This is the first step on the way to throwing all my stuff in those bags away, and there is a lot of stuff that I really need -- hats, lanyards for work, extension cords. I don't know what the fuck is his point, but I don't know what he will do if I take all my stuff out of those bags and put them back on the drawer, or if I put the bags on the drawer. Would he truly be a dick if I just dump all my stuff out of the bags and toss everything?
And the weirdest thing is is that my drawer and nightstand is the only thing he touched. I have dirty clothes right there in the hamper, but he didn't wash them. I have a bunch of clothes on my chair; My Fucking Father didn't take and wash them, either. There is stuff I took out of my pants because the jeans I'm wearing are my slim 7 For All Mankind and I just couldn't fit them in. I laid that stuff on my bed and put my pajamas on top of them. My Fucking Father didn't touch them.
Seriously, what the fuck does My Fucking Father do every day? He's absolutely bored, that's what it is, and he has nothing else to do except fuck with my stuff. This pisses me off; I want to know when in the hell those two are going back to Las Vegas so he can leave me the fuck alone!
And the weirdest thing is is that my drawer and nightstand is the only thing he touched. I have dirty clothes right there in the hamper, but he didn't wash them. I have a bunch of clothes on my chair; My Fucking Father didn't take and wash them, either. There is stuff I took out of my pants because the jeans I'm wearing are my slim 7 For All Mankind and I just couldn't fit them in. I laid that stuff on my bed and put my pajamas on top of them. My Fucking Father didn't touch them.
Seriously, what the fuck does My Fucking Father do every day? He's absolutely bored, that's what it is, and he has nothing else to do except fuck with my stuff. This pisses me off; I want to know when in the hell those two are going back to Las Vegas so he can leave me the fuck alone!
Sunday, November 5, 2017
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
Positive Numbers: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4). I don't know if the Woofie Dogs have turned a corner, but let us praise this downtrodden squad at least for this week, as they turned in a 3-0 screening week and have their first four-game winning streak since 2012. I'm not sure what exactly has happened, although Jimmy Butler was injured last week. Also, I think Karl-Anthony Towns dropped 31 and 10 in a 112-99 beatdown of Dallas last (Saturday) night, so we don't have to worry about him, I don't think.
The Timberwolves, who currently sit third in the Western Conference, have a, uh, spacious screening week coming up. They host Charlotte Sunday, visit Golden State Wednesday, and hit Phoenix Saturday. Three games, two days apart, although the Hornets game comes the night after they beat the Mavericks.
#0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -2). Swept two overmatched clubs, Maryland and Ohio St., at home this weekend. That's 11 in a row now for the fifth-ranked Golden Gophers. Cannot complain, really; these players are so good that I'm scared that it feels as though a loss is coming, you know? They now head out for the last four road games of their season; they go to the Indiana schools this weekend.
#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1). Like the volleyball team (and in a very busy sports weekend in Dinkytown), the Gopher male icers had two easy wins at home. But, seeing that this is college hockey, both victories were against the same weak team, this being Michigan St. 3-1 Friday, 4-0 Saturday, the latter of which was Goaltender Eric Schierhorn's 50th win while wearing the "M." This walkover should keep this squad in the USCHO.com Top 5. But this weekend will bring a test: Two at Michigan, which, like the Spartans, have a new Head Coach (Mel Pearson, who replaced the legendary Red Berenson).
#-2: Vikings (Last Week: Positive Numbers). At press time of last week's WMNSS, the ViQueens were trailing the winless Cleveland Browns, and at Halftime, they trailed, 13-12. But, like with most wins from this club, they very slowly turned things around and outscored the hapless Brownies, 21-3, to win their game at Twickenham, 33-16. So they go into the break 6-2 and as put-together as anyone in the NFC North to take the division. That would be an admirable goal to reach.
So now, let's talk about this stupid Quarterback quandary, which, if the organization doesn't handle this correctly, will sink the Vikes and torpedo the season. So Teddy Bridgewater is finally cleared to practice with the team after a freak non-contact incident last training camp that could have ended with him getting his leg amputated (and I still cannot fathom how an injury so benign could have such severe possibilities). It is not clear if his legs are any better than those of Sam Bradford, who was walking on spaghetti strings when he (and the team) were finally taken out of their misery when Bradford was pulled. Meanwhile, journeyman QB Case Keenum (who, I forget, owned one or more NCAA passing records when he left the University of Houston) has led/game-managed this team to four straight wins. And despite not knowing which of Bradford or Bridgewater will be backup Quarterback when they come back from their bye week this week, there is a lot of chatter that the club will -- and should -- name Teddy Bridgewater starter.
This is fucking insane. While he isn't Aaron Rodgers or Tom Brady, Keenum is playing well enough to push this offense down the field. Most important, Keenum is the only one of the three who is demonstrably healthy, for now. To replace an uninjured and successful Keenum for Teddy, who has not had his game (let alone his legs) tested in actual game action in 1 1/2 years, when the Vikings are primed for a division title and basically have a good thing going, is bullshit. I don't see what they see in practice, but I and fans see what Keenum has done in games -- you know, the situations that should matter most of all. And to ruin a good thing because ... what, you guys like Bridgewater? You're hellbent on figuring out if you want to extend Bridgewater? You need to know right now which of the three QBs you will cut loose in the offseason (and all apologies to Kyle Sloter, who is done with the Vikings as soon as Bridgewater is activated)? You want to fuck around with a 6-2 season because you need to experiment? That is goddamn insane. Shit, right now, Case Keenum should be the Vikings' starting QB next year. But some people believe that this franchise should ignore actual data and put into place this perfect image they have in the heads of some front office people -- and potentially send the 2017 season into a tailspin just as dramatic as the 2016 season. Unbelievable.
#-3: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -6). Yes, they routed the Mavs in Mankota over the weekend by a combined 11-3 tally. But last Sunday, they lost, 2-1 in Overtime, to Wisconsin, completing a Badgers sweep. It's early, but a pecking order is calcifying in top-flight women's hockey, and the U. isn't on top of it. I mean, they're sixth in the USCHO.com Top 10? Are you fucking kidding me?? I hope these folks drill Mercyhurst in Erie, Pa., this weekend.
#-4: Wild (Last Week: -3). A 1-2 screening week. Didn't notice this until this week: The Mild sit dead last in the Central Division. A massive retooling to go alongside with a massive veteran core, and (albeit in the most competitive NHL division this past decade) Minnesota is last? I understand it's only a month, but I don't know if they're going to turn this around. And this doesn't go just to Matt Dumba, who Bruce Boudreau proclaimed was in his doghouse after a dumbfuck mistake led to The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers' game-winning Goal at the X Tuesday. (That's why they call him DUMBa, amirite?) I appreciate that Dumba collected two Assists as the Wild doubled up Montreal Thursday, 6-3, but with Saturday's 2-0 defeat to Chicago, the squad finished their homestand at 3-3. Thus, dead last in the division.
This week they strike out to the Eastern Conference on the road: Boston Monday, Toronto and Montreal in a Wednesday-Thursday back-to-back, and Philadelphia Saturday. I can totally see this season going pear-shaped on this road trip.
#-5: Gopher football (Last Week: -5). OK, so the Little Brown Jug ain't coming home, either. Michigan took out all their frustrations on the Golden Goofers after the start of the contest was delayed about an hour due to lightning. (The same weather delay paused Michigan St.'s upset of Penn St., also being played in Michigan, for more than three hours.) The two stats that show how dominant the Wolverines were: Michigan had 371 yards rushing; Minnesota had 164 yards total. Yikes.
But now for some good news! These guys sit at 4-5, but it's likely that this club needs only one more win to be bowl-eligible. How can a team that finishes 5-7 go to a bowl game? Well, first of all, there are 40 bowls, which is goddamn ridiculous (bowls as a concept as well as having 40 of them). There likely won't be enough teams that finish .500 (6-6), the ordinary criterion for bowl eligibility to fill 80 slots. So the NCAA has dictated that you go down to 5-7 teams with the highest APR scores to fill those slots, if necessary. APR is the Academic Progress Report, basically making sure that the student-athletes are actually students. Well, guess which team's players are studying good? That's right! And that's why, in the viable chance a shit bowl needs an opponent, Minnesota will be one of the first. 'Murica!
That means that instead of trying to win their next two games, aka the only two games they can win this year, like I thought last week, it looks as though they need to win only more game -- and the easier of the two opponents in the next two weeks is fallen giant Nebraska, featuring Mike Riley, a Head Coach that probably will be canned after the year is over. And they get the Cornhuskers at home -- bonus! Wow, can you feel the anticipation?! CAN YOU?!?!?!
#-6: Gopher soccer (Last Week: 0). Well, shit, being upset by Wisconsin at Robbie last Sunday was unexpected, let alone the worst thing they could do for their NCAA Tournament hopes. I also wonder if the way they lost, 2-0, will be seen by the Selection Committee as yet another silly defeat that signaled bad late-season form (they lost three of their last five matches). Chris Henderson of women's soccer blog All White Kit still believes the Goofers are in the tourney, albeit as the third-to-last XI in, but, aaaaahhhhhh, I don't know. We'll see when the 64-team field is announced tomorrow (Monday).
The Timberwolves, who currently sit third in the Western Conference, have a, uh, spacious screening week coming up. They host Charlotte Sunday, visit Golden State Wednesday, and hit Phoenix Saturday. Three games, two days apart, although the Hornets game comes the night after they beat the Mavericks.
#0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -2). Swept two overmatched clubs, Maryland and Ohio St., at home this weekend. That's 11 in a row now for the fifth-ranked Golden Gophers. Cannot complain, really; these players are so good that I'm scared that it feels as though a loss is coming, you know? They now head out for the last four road games of their season; they go to the Indiana schools this weekend.
#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1). Like the volleyball team (and in a very busy sports weekend in Dinkytown), the Gopher male icers had two easy wins at home. But, seeing that this is college hockey, both victories were against the same weak team, this being Michigan St. 3-1 Friday, 4-0 Saturday, the latter of which was Goaltender Eric Schierhorn's 50th win while wearing the "M." This walkover should keep this squad in the USCHO.com Top 5. But this weekend will bring a test: Two at Michigan, which, like the Spartans, have a new Head Coach (Mel Pearson, who replaced the legendary Red Berenson).
#-2: Vikings (Last Week: Positive Numbers). At press time of last week's WMNSS, the ViQueens were trailing the winless Cleveland Browns, and at Halftime, they trailed, 13-12. But, like with most wins from this club, they very slowly turned things around and outscored the hapless Brownies, 21-3, to win their game at Twickenham, 33-16. So they go into the break 6-2 and as put-together as anyone in the NFC North to take the division. That would be an admirable goal to reach.
So now, let's talk about this stupid Quarterback quandary, which, if the organization doesn't handle this correctly, will sink the Vikes and torpedo the season. So Teddy Bridgewater is finally cleared to practice with the team after a freak non-contact incident last training camp that could have ended with him getting his leg amputated (and I still cannot fathom how an injury so benign could have such severe possibilities). It is not clear if his legs are any better than those of Sam Bradford, who was walking on spaghetti strings when he (and the team) were finally taken out of their misery when Bradford was pulled. Meanwhile, journeyman QB Case Keenum (who, I forget, owned one or more NCAA passing records when he left the University of Houston) has led/game-managed this team to four straight wins. And despite not knowing which of Bradford or Bridgewater will be backup Quarterback when they come back from their bye week this week, there is a lot of chatter that the club will -- and should -- name Teddy Bridgewater starter.
This is fucking insane. While he isn't Aaron Rodgers or Tom Brady, Keenum is playing well enough to push this offense down the field. Most important, Keenum is the only one of the three who is demonstrably healthy, for now. To replace an uninjured and successful Keenum for Teddy, who has not had his game (let alone his legs) tested in actual game action in 1 1/2 years, when the Vikings are primed for a division title and basically have a good thing going, is bullshit. I don't see what they see in practice, but I and fans see what Keenum has done in games -- you know, the situations that should matter most of all. And to ruin a good thing because ... what, you guys like Bridgewater? You're hellbent on figuring out if you want to extend Bridgewater? You need to know right now which of the three QBs you will cut loose in the offseason (and all apologies to Kyle Sloter, who is done with the Vikings as soon as Bridgewater is activated)? You want to fuck around with a 6-2 season because you need to experiment? That is goddamn insane. Shit, right now, Case Keenum should be the Vikings' starting QB next year. But some people believe that this franchise should ignore actual data and put into place this perfect image they have in the heads of some front office people -- and potentially send the 2017 season into a tailspin just as dramatic as the 2016 season. Unbelievable.
#-3: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -6). Yes, they routed the Mavs in Mankota over the weekend by a combined 11-3 tally. But last Sunday, they lost, 2-1 in Overtime, to Wisconsin, completing a Badgers sweep. It's early, but a pecking order is calcifying in top-flight women's hockey, and the U. isn't on top of it. I mean, they're sixth in the USCHO.com Top 10? Are you fucking kidding me?? I hope these folks drill Mercyhurst in Erie, Pa., this weekend.
#-4: Wild (Last Week: -3). A 1-2 screening week. Didn't notice this until this week: The Mild sit dead last in the Central Division. A massive retooling to go alongside with a massive veteran core, and (albeit in the most competitive NHL division this past decade) Minnesota is last? I understand it's only a month, but I don't know if they're going to turn this around. And this doesn't go just to Matt Dumba, who Bruce Boudreau proclaimed was in his doghouse after a dumbfuck mistake led to The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers' game-winning Goal at the X Tuesday. (That's why they call him DUMBa, amirite?) I appreciate that Dumba collected two Assists as the Wild doubled up Montreal Thursday, 6-3, but with Saturday's 2-0 defeat to Chicago, the squad finished their homestand at 3-3. Thus, dead last in the division.
This week they strike out to the Eastern Conference on the road: Boston Monday, Toronto and Montreal in a Wednesday-Thursday back-to-back, and Philadelphia Saturday. I can totally see this season going pear-shaped on this road trip.
#-5: Gopher football (Last Week: -5). OK, so the Little Brown Jug ain't coming home, either. Michigan took out all their frustrations on the Golden Goofers after the start of the contest was delayed about an hour due to lightning. (The same weather delay paused Michigan St.'s upset of Penn St., also being played in Michigan, for more than three hours.) The two stats that show how dominant the Wolverines were: Michigan had 371 yards rushing; Minnesota had 164 yards total. Yikes.
But now for some good news! These guys sit at 4-5, but it's likely that this club needs only one more win to be bowl-eligible. How can a team that finishes 5-7 go to a bowl game? Well, first of all, there are 40 bowls, which is goddamn ridiculous (bowls as a concept as well as having 40 of them). There likely won't be enough teams that finish .500 (6-6), the ordinary criterion for bowl eligibility to fill 80 slots. So the NCAA has dictated that you go down to 5-7 teams with the highest APR scores to fill those slots, if necessary. APR is the Academic Progress Report, basically making sure that the student-athletes are actually students. Well, guess which team's players are studying good? That's right! And that's why, in the viable chance a shit bowl needs an opponent, Minnesota will be one of the first. 'Murica!
That means that instead of trying to win their next two games, aka the only two games they can win this year, like I thought last week, it looks as though they need to win only more game -- and the easier of the two opponents in the next two weeks is fallen giant Nebraska, featuring Mike Riley, a Head Coach that probably will be canned after the year is over. And they get the Cornhuskers at home -- bonus! Wow, can you feel the anticipation?! CAN YOU?!?!?!
#-6: Gopher soccer (Last Week: 0). Well, shit, being upset by Wisconsin at Robbie last Sunday was unexpected, let alone the worst thing they could do for their NCAA Tournament hopes. I also wonder if the way they lost, 2-0, will be seen by the Selection Committee as yet another silly defeat that signaled bad late-season form (they lost three of their last five matches). Chris Henderson of women's soccer blog All White Kit still believes the Goofers are in the tourney, albeit as the third-to-last XI in, but, aaaaahhhhhh, I don't know. We'll see when the 64-team field is announced tomorrow (Monday).
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