Alright, Father, I'm sorry for locking the door to the minivan after you told me not to.  I thought I hit the unlock button the key three times, but I guess I didn't.  I didn't mean to, OK?  Don't go flying off the fucking handle like it's end of the goddamn world.  Asshole.  You just had to go back to acting like a bitch so soon after your motherfucking vacation, huh?