#-1: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3). I am faced with a conundrum this Week: How do you acknowledge teams that have reached the playoffs, a notable achievement, against a team that isn't having a good season but has been on fire as of late? In the end, I am eschewing what usually is my first (and often only) factor in ranking the local teams here in the WMNSS, record for the screening Week, in favor of the overall picture.
That's not to say that I think the Timberwolves are coming in hot. They did, however, not only make the playoffs but reach the goal that is important to them, namely avoiding the Play-In. They needed help from, of all teams, San Antonio, who beat The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors this Week that put Golden State a Game behind the Wolves and thus in seventh place in The Western Conference's final standings. But the T-Wolves had a finishing kick, defeating The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies in Memphis before coming home and beating Brooklyn and The Bastard New Orleans Jazz to finish sixth in the West. Those are enough accomplishments to give this squad the top spot in this Week's survey.
Now, expectations were higher than sixth (although a huge caveat to that is that only two Games separated the teams that finished between third and eighth place, my goodness me). They also draw the third-seeded Bastard Minneapolis Lakers and Luka Doncic, who scored at will against Minnesota in last season's Western Conference Finals. He doesn't have Kyrie Irving, but he does have LeBron James. Also, the Timberwolves don't have Kyle Anderson, the man who defended Doncic the most in last Year's series. Maybe that's a good thing, considering The Dallas Mavericks eliminated the Wolves in five Games. But I'm afraid that's what The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.1.0. is going to do in this series, dammit.
#-2: Wild (Last Week: -2). Similarly, the Wild also (finally) clinched a playoff spot. Their finishing kick, however, wasn't that impressive. They started off the Week holding off San Jose in Overtime at the X (BTW, the X won't be called the X starting next season ... Xcel Energy will let the contract the utility signed at the opening of the arena a quarter-century ago expire without extending it ... the arena will have a new name, and so we will have to call the Wild's place where they play Matches something else, and this is why I hate naming rights for arenae and stadia), 8-7 of all scores. In what shaped up to be a very crucial late-season showdown, The Bastard Atlanta Flames handled the Mild handily in Calgary, 4-2. The Flames, however, wind up as the last team out (so to speak), because Minnesota collected OT victories at Vancouver and over Anaheim at home to finally sew up a postseason slot.
It is kind of pathetic how they crawled over this finish line. The Mild were down to the Ducks last/Tuesday night, 2-1, and Joel Eriksson Ek tied up the score on a scrum in front of the Anaheim net in the final Minute of regulation. That tied it up at 2, and once the Game hit zeroes, Minnesota got that Point they needed to officially qualify for the playoffs. Of the four Games they played this screening Week, three of them went to Overtime, but the Wild won all three. The Game previous to this Week went into OT, and they won that, beating The Bastard North Stars at home. Stretching back a bit further, six of their past eight Games went to extra time, but the first two Overtime Games, at New Jersey and at the Rangers, wound up in Losses for Minnesota.
What I'm saying is that this club isn't exactly rounding into form. Also, they have drawn The (Las) Vegas Golden Knights, a team that has bedeviled Minnesota after the Golden Knight's first regular season because they have been allowed to both amass player assets and violate the spirit of cap rules under the implied blessing of Commissioner Gary Bettman ever since they were born. Also, the Wild are very mid. This is playoff hockey, so upsets can and frequently do happen. But I can't see it happening in this series.
#-3: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -6). So this is the team I'm alluding to. Believe it or not, they're the hottest team in town right now, even more so than the Timberwolves. The Gopher Nine are riding a six-Game winning streak that began last Tuesday, continued with a 12-2 drubbing of St. Thomas at home last Wednesday in a Game mercy-ruled after seven Innings, got extended even further over the weekend with a surprising sweep of Ohio St., by far The Worst Team In The Big Ten This Season, at Columbus (!!!), and is still alive after last/Tuesday night's 9-2 Win over North Dakota St. at Siebert Field.
And that winning streak gets the U. to 17-17 overall and 5-10 in the B1G. I doubt this streak will last a Week from now: After playing South Dakota St., the team they beat to start this streak, tonight/Wednesday night at home, they travel to Rutgers for three. But these guys are playing as well as they probably will for the rest of the Year. Moreover, I usually want to recognize long winning streaks like this by proclaiming that they've "won" the survey for the Week. But the overall record is so-so and the conference record is still bad. And this is the Week where the Timberwolves and Wild clinched playoff spots. So, I had to rank those two teams higher than these young men. Sorry.
#-4: United FC (Last Week: -1). Buried in all the playoff-clinching hoopla in this state, and as befitting the plight of professional soccer in the country, is that the Loons are somehow second in The Western Conference right now. Saturday they "fought" to a scoreless Draw at Toronto. I was listening to the Match at the library while I was doing my taxes, and frankly, it was a Game that haters of the sport would use as a reason why they think it's boring. But still, hey, second place.
Host Dallas Saturday night. I have already given my ticket to my friend because I plan on seeing Kendrick Lamar and SZA kick off their stadium tour.
#-5: Twins (Last Week: -4). A 3-4 week where they lost series at Kansas City and home to Detroit, and the bitterness baseball fans in town have felt since their team's collapse at the end of last season has, by all accounts, curdled into apathy. Monday's attendance of 10,240 is the lowest number in the history of Target Field (besides, of course, restrictions because of The COVID-19 pandemic). And that served the Twinks right, because they lost to The New York Mets, 5-1. They now sit in fourth place in The American League Central Division, already 4 1/2 Games behind Detroit for the lead.
And yet I am planning on going to this/Wednesday afternoon's baseball Game anyway. It'll be the first time I've been there in two Years. My boss asked me to come to work on Saturday, and in exchange I have today off, and it just so happens that there is a baseball Game in the afternoon, and there are worse ways to spend a day this side of the ground than at a baseball Game, especially one on a weekday afternoon. Now, I just have to find my scoring notebook. Oh, and since the Twinks doubled up the Mets last/Tuesday night, 6-3, I am under no illusions they will win today; they have won only one series so far in 2025, and that was the second series of the season when they took two-of-three at the White Sox.
#-6: Gopher softball (Last Week: -5). And now we get to the Goofer softballers, who got swept at home over the weekend by Oregon. They lost honorably Saturday and Sunday afternoons by matching 5-4 setbacks, but they got blasted out of Cowles Stadium in the opener on Friday, 13-0 that was halted after five Innings for the good of the women and children who witnessed this horror and for the good of the concept of decency.
This team is not good. They are 3-13 in-conference and 14-26 overall. They are tied with Maryland for the second-worst record in the Big Ten. And thankfully for them (and mirroring the good fortune the U. baseball team was graced with last weekend), they face The Worst Team In The Big Ten This Season, Rutgers, for a three-Game series, even though this is on the road.
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