The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Before I begin ... yes, I know that the Frost won their second straight PWHL Walter Cup championship Memorial Afternoon.  I still will not cover the team.  The name sucks, they should be named the Whitecaps, Natalie Darwitz was still done dirty, Kendall Coyne Schofield remains a backstabber, and there's still something skeevy about Britta Curl-Salemme, who apologized for past transphobic and pro-MAGAt comments but nonetheless found a home that appears to be a safe space for transphobes and MAGAts (and was instrumental in evening up the title series in Game 2 by scoring the Goal that sent it to Overtime and the Goal in OT to win it -- it's always the bad people doing good things, isn't it?).  I would bet good money they'll go see Trump.

#-1: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  They ran the table this screening Week, going 3-0, and are 5-0 to start the season.  They get the top spot, no doubt about it.  I thought about Positive Numbers for the Lynx, but I can't go that far, at least not this Week.  Why?  Well, for one, The New York Liberty is the other team that's still undefeated (even though that squad is 4-0 as of press time); if Minnesota was the last undefeated squad, I might do it.  Also, look at the margins of victory of these three Games this Week -- four over The Bastard Detroit Shock and hometown girl Paige Bueckers (and by the way, she is making her mark in the WNBA like I thought she would; she's going to be the next superstar in the league); six over The Bastard Orlando Miracle where they were down by 15 midway through the Fourth Quarter and then outscored Connecticut, 23-2 to snatch the Win; and five over a Seattle team that is better than its 3-2 record indicates.

I think playing all three of those Matches at Target Center helped a lot.  But they have to leave for a couple Games this Week, going to Phoenix Friday and San Francisco to play the expansion Golden State Valkyries Sunday night.  They return to home and host the Mercury Tuesday.

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -3).  Draws in soccer where your club scored to tie it up kind of feel like Wins.  Draws in soccer where the other team scored to tie it up kind of feel like Losses.  So yes, even though they notched a Point at home versus Austin FC, this 1-all Tie feels like a defeat because of a swift and clinical counterattack by Los Verdes.  Those guys aren't pushovers -- they're around the playoff line right now -- but it's still disappointing that Michael Boxall's header off a Corner Kick didn't hold up.

Oh, I should add that they did have a thrilling victory over St. Louis City SC last Wednesday in the U. S. Open Cup.  They led by virtue of Kelvin Yeboah's Goal at the Half, lost the lead on two City Goals in the Second Half ten Minutes apart and then, while I was resigned to seeing them lose, former City player Anthony Markanich tallied the tying and then the Game-winning Goal (the latter on a header off a Corner) three Minutes apart to pull off the Win.  They host The Chicago Fire in the Quarterfinals in early July.  Moreover, they were given home-pitch advantage throughout the tournament.  So, if MNUFC continue to win all the way to the final, it'll be at Allianz Field.  For a fanbase starving for any title, thinking about that is interesting.  And if good luck -- or, as my soccer-loving friend insinuates, a set-up for the Loons to succeed -- is what's needed for some male team to win something around these parts, well, I'll give them a boost in the WMNSS because of it.

The Loons, who sit third in the West in league play, have a busy Week facing a pair of formidable opponents -- the Whitecaps in Vancouver tonight/Wednesday night, the Sounders in Seattle Sunday.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -2).  A 4-3 screening Week featuring a relative brown-out on Offense, but the starting pitching continuing to hold up in a Doubleheader split at home vs. Cleveland, a series Win at home over Kansas City, and so far a split in Tampa against the Bay Rays in the Yankees' minor league home.  They still remain as ALWC1 which, considering where they were not too long ago, remains impressive.

This is crazy: After finishing up their series with the Bay Rays this/Wednesday afternoon, they have to travel allllllllllllllllll the way to the Pacific Northwest to play in Seattle for a three-Game series over the weekend.  They then go to the other Major League Baseball team playing in a Minor League Baseball park: The Athletics, in Sacramento, for three starting Monday.

#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  It's the weirdest thing, but before waking up yesterday/Tuesday morning, I had a dream where I was finally able to tune into the radio and hear that the Wolves won Game 4 and evened up The Western Conference Finals with The Bastard SuperSonics.  Those are the vivid dreams that take me a minute to realize they are just that, dreams.  And so I diligently avoided any scores or sports news because I wanted to wait till I heard the opening montage of "The Common Man Progrum" on KFAN at noon.  And when I heard the opening notes of "O-o-h Child" by The Five Stairsteps, I turned the stream off because I learned they lost, dropping them to the brink of elimination in the WCF for a second consecutive season.  Goddammit, why do I delude myself like this?

And I do not want to look on the bright side.  I heard one commenter on the 'Grum that the Woofie Dogs are a "trash team."  Look, I understand that reaching the WCF in back-to-back-Years is an accomplishment, and maybe when the hurt and frustration and ennui subside years from now, I can look back at this era of the franchise a bit more fondly.  But I and I think a lot of other sports fans don't accept conference finals appearances.  We want championships, and losing in the conference finals just means you're still a loser, you just lost later than other teams.  I'm for goddamn sure not accepting participation ribbons and atta-boys -- I want results.  So no, I understand this is a good team, but right I want to feel my feelings, and I am not going to disagree with the guy who said the Timberwolves are a trash team.  Because they're about to lose to a team that stole its team from Seattle.

I'll write more (and this squad's post mortem) in next Week's WMNSS.