Should I See Her?

With my parents now gone, I feel free to see my All-Time Favorite at My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Division).  I tell her on Sunday I want to see her this week.

Big mistake now that these fuckers are trying to push us around.  I started to see videos on websites, applications, social media and the news about people getting kidnapped by faceless thugs, who then push and teargas onlookers, protestors and patriots trying to film their illegal kidnappings.  And I have heard that these motherfuckers have been on my street the past couple days.

So yeah, I'm freaking out.  I don't know if I should be out and about these days.  And I told my ATF so, apologizing for possibly changing my mind.  But I thought about this too: If I am afraid these assholes are going door to door ... do I feel safe at home?  If so, should I be home?  Could I, in fact, be safer somewhere besides my house?  (I realized when I was working yesterday/Monday that I, to my astonishment, felt safer there than I have felt the past several days.)  If that's the case, would it be better for me to go to the strip club?  I know it's bad odds, but maybe I will be out on a night where these assholes are invading our street.

I've been looking up a website that tracks this vermin wherever they go and whatever they do, whether it's detaining some poor guy who got caught up at the wrong place at the wrong time or if they're just eating shit at some gas station.  No doubt they're here, and they have been extremely close in the area.  So I am looking at how frequently they are where I need to be and would like to go (work, strip club, parks, where I exercise) and see, over the next couple days, if it's safe or not.  (One observation I have made: These pricks are avoiding both downtowns, at least for now.)  And still I know it's a crapshoot that wherever I go and whatever I do, I still might get attacked.

When I told her I am having second thoughts, she said, "Do what you think is best for you."  I am sad that she sounds disappointed.  I hope she understands what I'm going through.  But when I told her why I was hesitating, she asked, "Do you think you look like what they're looking for?"  And I am disappointed that she doesn't appear to think that what is happening to other people of color could happen to me.  That "First They Came" poem?  I hope she read it.

Shit, I might just give her the poem when I see her this week.