Addendum To: Planning World Cup Viewing Where

And complicating all my World Up watch-planning is something I thought of, and just did, this/Saturday morning: The food I have at home.  After I watched the U. S. take it to Paraguay, I'm all in on the World Cup.  Hell, I might take off work to watch Matches.  (I already have one planned for two weeks from now, but I might just take more days off.)  I want to go out every day.  But I shouldn't, because I have milk that's about to go bad, bread that's been in the fridge for two weeks, deli meat that I've barely made a dent on, and frozen waffles and french toast that I should get around to eating.

But dammit, I don't feel like staying home on the weekends and eating them all.  I really, really prefer going out Saturday and Sunday and watching soccer.  Guess that food can wait till the workweek ... but right now I really, really prefer heading out after work to watch soccer at a pub or restaurant, too.  Man, I don't know what I'm going to do.

I was so tuckered out after the USMNT Game that I promptly fell into bed.  Probably conked off around 11 p.m.  Woke up a quarter after 8, totally refreshed.  The one thing I am going to do today is go to this Mexican craft brewery and watch Brazil-Morocco there.  My secondary plan is going to this Mexican place close to me and see if I can watch at least part of Haiti-Scotland there.  They have a TV on, and for some stupid reason it's on a Fox local channel (not Fox News, not the Fox station here in town, but "Fox Local" -- it shows news stories that come from a random series of local telecasts, or at least that's what it appears to be).  I kind of want to know if they take TV requests, and if not, this will be the first World Cup Match I won't be able to follow, either on TV or through the radio.

So this involves a lot of eating out, as you can tell.  And yet I also had a plan to, if I woke up early enough, eat either the frozen waffles or french toast sticks whose boxes I've already opened up.  I just ate the waffles (and chased it down with milk).  I'm not hungry anymore, but because I'm up and because the first WC Game of the day, Qatar-Switzerland, is not until 2, I think I'll go shopping and eat lunch.  I need creamer, but I thought about getting ground meat for spaghetti I might make next week.  But if I'm going out at least thrice next week, what's the point?  And sure, why eat lunch when I'm already not hungry after breakfast?  Good question, but I think I'll still have soup and a sandwich.  Or, I might take the sandwich home and eat it later.  That might be the food I'll have next week ... well, beyond the food I already have at home.

Planning World Cup Viewing Where

I have gotten obsessed with arranging my free time around the World Cup the five weeks it's going on.  I shouldn't, considering that this World Cup is being (mainly) hosted by a fascist country.  Also, it's become even more obvious that FIFA is a corrupt organization that continues to get away with suckering communities into giving them money in exchange for the right to host the biggest sporting event on the planet this side of the Olympics.  No wonder, then, that the president of FIFA, Gianni Infantino, gave Trump a made-up-on-the-spot "peace prize" just to kiss his ass, one grifter publicly proclaiming his love to another grifter.  The business side of this soccer festival should make one's stomach turn.  However, since I am plotting how I will watch as much of it as I can proves I have overlooked this evil sausage-making and, in turn, makes me complicit.

Well, my complicit ass is still going to watch, and figure out the best way to watch while balancing things such as my checkbook, the health of my car, going to my storage unit to go through my stuff (which is really chapping my ass right now the more I think about it), and just going home and relaxing.  A part of me truly relishes how to put the pieces together, but a part of me knows this can easily overwhelm me, and another part of me knows I'm capable of just saying "fuck it" and I'll completely forget all of this.

Regardless, right now I'm planning ... but only for next week.  I am trying to do the following:

• Have one day where I go work, then directly go home.  I will watch all the Games from home and eat in, and thus I will not spend any money;
• I will go out and watch at least one soccer Match at a bar or establishment boasting about televising the World Cup;
• I will go out and watch at least one soccer Match at a Mexican or Latin American restaurant that has a TV and may or may not be televising the World Cup;
• I will go from work to my storage unit, where I will spend at least the majority of one soccer Game listening to it on Sirius XM while going through my stuff.  I will not spend any money and instead go straight home after the Match is over;
• Oh, and I promised ******a that I would see her at the strip club one night.

My original guiding principle on which weekdays I'd do each of the above depended on whether I could watch the Match on FOX/Channel 9.  If it wasn't on there, I figured that wasn't a day I should just go home; either I would watch at a pub or restaurant that had Fox Sports 1, or listen to it on satellite radio at my storage unit.  But then I remembered that Telemundo is over the air and is airing every single Match on free TV, albeit in Spanish.  Soccer is universal, so watching any Game from home was back on the table.

But then I saw last/Friday night's South Korea-Czechia Match, and for some dumb reason the audio and video were out of synch.  I'm hoping it's a one-time glitch, because if it's not, I won't watch Telemundo anymore ... which might actually make planning easier because it removes the possibility that I could watch any Game at home.  Fix this, Telemundo.

Another consideration I, um, considered is the quality of the sides playing.  I want to see competitive Matches, and once the final roundelay of Games comes around, the stakes are going to influence which ones I watch and thus where.  But the field for the World Cup has expanded from 36 to 48.  That means a lot of new teams -- and a bunch of teams that are not good and should get easily dispatched in the Games they play.  Also, there is a fifth round of Knockout Stage Matches now, which means 32 teams will advance out of the Group Stage.  Allowing 2/3 of the field into the "playoffs" makes the "regular season" Group Stage Games somewhat less important, even if the final Group Stage Games will determine who comes in last in each Group and thus is automatically eliminated.

The more I think about it, the more I've decided that I want to dedicate my attention to matchups that feature good XI's or countries that appear to be evenly matched.  If there's a Game that doesn't satisfy either condition, I am beginning to think it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to only tune in to it in the middle of the Match, or even, for example, bail on the Game and leave an establishment early.  It is hard to eat out at a restaurant for two hours so you can watch a whole Game.  And speaking of whole Games ... I realized that when I get out of work each day will dictate whether I go home, my unit, or out to watch.  Do I want to go out to catch the back end of a lopsided Match between two nations that have no chance of winning the World Cup?  Maybe, actually, and I'll save the days I go directly home for when I am able to watch a good Game on paper in its entirety.

You can see how I am weighing a lot of things, right?  Yeah, maybe I'm overthinking this.  But I don't want to spend money I can't afford, I want to start eating the food at home that I've bought, I don't want to tax my car, and I do want to start cleaning up my stuff.  So, considering all of that ... I still don't know.  Guess the only really important thing to me is I just want to watch some soccer.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  The Lynx are in the thick of Commissioner's Cup play, and they're kicking ass, going 3-0 this Week and remaining undefeated for this in-season tournament.  I was at the first Game of the screening Week, home last Thursday to Golden State.  They started off great, but then from the middle of the Second Quarter on, the Valkyries asserted control, and Minnesota was a click or two behind.  Finally, in the Fourth, they put shots together, they stacked stops, and was very, very lucky Cecilia Zandalasini's Three-Point shot at the gun was an airball.  (Courtney Williams could've iced it, but she missed her second Three Throw to keep the lead at three.  Tsk-tsk.)

Like Anthony Edwards, I am starting to believe I was wrong about Olivia Miles.  I remember throwing my glasses on the table on the table I was sitting at in the bar, listening to the WNBA Draft and hearing that the Lynx took Miles.  I thought she didn't have the will to defend nor the jump shot to round out her game in a way that, say, Ricky Rubio really couldn't.  Well, Miles went offensive HAM on this bitch, setting a WNBA record for most Threes made by a Rookie in a Game with eight.  Also, I wasn't quite aware at how preternatural her court vision is.  And finally, she has the poise of a veteran.  In the possession that led to Court splitting her pair, there was a Lay-Up drive that missed.  Miles eventually gathered the ball and, instead of hoisting up quickly, pulled the ball out and forced Golden State to foul.  I totally forgot the game situation, namely that there was about ten Seconds left and Minnesota was up by one.  Miles did not forget.  Fucking genius.

They finish Comissioner's Cup pool play this Week.  They host Portland Monday and visit Los Angeles on Wednesday.  But the real big test, if not THE test, comes Saturday night when they visit Las Vegas.  For my money, right now (and take that with more than a grain of salt), Saturday's matchup will be the WNBA Finals.

#-1: Twins (Last Week: -2).  A 2-4 Week.  There isn't much worth to say other than the Bullpen fuckin' sucks.  Yeah, that's all I want to say about this execrable bunch.  Well, I should say that they finish up their series in Detroit this/Thursday afternoon, then quickly host St. Louis for three over the weekend, then travel to play The Bastard Washington Senators v.2.0 for three-Game set on Monday, Tuesday and ... Thursday???

Too Many Oranges

Yesterday/Tuesday evening, helped by the fact that I got out of work early (I had to stop by the local grocery store to get a chicken breast on sale, but even with that I got home earlier than I usually do these days), I ate the final part of the last of five oranges I bought two weeks ago.  I've read on the Internet that you don't want to eat oranges that have been in the fridge for that long, but they tasted like oranges (even though the taste was a tad off) and hey, I haven't gotten sick after eating any of them, including the one yesterday/Tuesday evening.

I bought these at the discount grocery store, so I got, or felt I got, a bargain.  Also, I bought five of them because I wanted to make sure I had enough orange juice to make all the cocktails I wanted to make.  Well, I made one mimosa and one monkey gland, and still I have to eat, oh, three of the five oranges like they were, you know, oranges.  I shouldn't complain; they're a great source of vitamin C, of course.  But I way overestimated the number of oranges I needed for cocktails.  Need to cut back next time.

I Think It's Finally Time To Brush My Teeth Again

When I got one cavity filled in and one cavity redone back on Wednesday, I was told to not fuck with them -- and both sites were on the left side of my mouth -- for at least a couple hours and preferably for 24 hours.  Well, I had to eat a pork chop that evening or else it would go bad, and so then I made sure I chewed using only the right side of my mouth.  Other than that, I had been careful to not eat any crunchy or sticky foods until lunchtime on Thursday.

But I did that care plan one step better, or "better."  I took it that any agitation on either the new or the improved cavity site would imperil the fillings, and I categorized brushing my teeth as agitation.  So yeah, I've chewed food and drank hot liquids since Thursday afternoon, but I have held off on brushing my teeth.  Yes, that's lame and is more of an excuse for me not to go through the hassle of brushing my teeth.  But that was my mindset for not brushing my teeth since last Tuesday.

However, this is getting ridiculous even for me.  So I am going to go brush my teeth now.

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: May 2026

Ten women this month, I've noticed, and I think I just realized that ten is the fewest number of waitresses I've seen in a month in a Hooter calendar.  Just a thought.

Not a bad month.  But I can only point out three because half of the ten have that stupid t-shirt-over-bikini-top thing I railed against last month.  I have to admit, though, I have made one exception.

I will point out three women.

In third place is Micayla, hailing out of Fort Lauderdale, Fla.  Long black hair that falls below her breasts, she's wearing a pink two-piece.  I note her because she is posing as if she is either climbing out of or into a pool.  And by grabbing the bars on the side of the ladder, she is one of the few servers in this month posing straight at the camera (well, she's a tad off to her right, but I'll count it).  She's got a great body, and in this picture, she's showing it off.

In second place is Atlanta's Gwyn.  She is wearing a t-shirt over a bikini top.  I am making an exception for her for three reasons: 1) She's standing straight at us; 2) she's wearing a straw cowboy hat, and I'm a sucker for a hot chick acting like she's a cowgirl; and 3) she's also wearing jean shorts with a bikini bottom which, like her bikini top, is orange (and BTW, the crop top she's wearing is Hooters-themed.)  I know she's wearing an orange bikini bottom because she's got her jean shorts unzipped and open all the way, revealing said bikini bottom underneath.  That makes it look as if she's undressing, which is only emphasized by my realization that bikini bottoms are really small these days, and that if she weren't grooming down there, we'd be seeing her pussy hair sprout right out of her bottoms.  Yowza!

Finally, in first place is The Main Girl, Jada, from Destin, Fla.  Wavy blonde hair that cascades down to her waist, she is sporting a light pink two-piece bikini.  She is posing to her side toward us -- she's posing inbetween what looks to be curtains -- and it's also not great her right arm is obscuring her stomach.  But she is a stunner -- porcelain skin and light green eyes.  Also, even though we can't see it, I'd bet that she's wearing a bikini bottom that's showing her ass.

So congratulations to Jada and the other two Hooters girls for May 2026.  I will be touching myself to all of you in due time.

So the thing about going out most evenings is that you don't have time to rest, and at some point the sleep debt comes due.  I paid this week: I think last night was my second night over the past week where I fell asleep before midnight and woke up in the morning.  But I was, and am, glad to.  Sure, I am off schedule in Zynga Poker and there are alumni things I should have done but didn't.  But I'm refreshed and feel healthy, and I think that's a bit more important.

And more important than that, I have energy to do the things I need to do, such as finally clean the dishes that really need cleaning.  I should do that now.  Of course, I'll use up all my energy doing that and then I'll need to nap.  But, since I woke up so early in the morning, I'll have time for a nap before I need to go downtown this afternoon.  I think my timing is down!

I went through my plans of going to this new Middle Eastern place that came recommended after I left last/Friday night's Prince tribute concert.  Interesting food, but I didn't think it'd be so much.  Moreover, I ordered this through drive-thru at around 1:30.  I got done eating it all around 4.  And I'm having donuts with someone I haven't seen since high school this/Saturday morning at 10.  Eating this was a mistake.  And I regret doing so.

My Thoughts On Who To Root For In The Stanley Cup And NBA Finals

I have no interest in seeing the Stanley Cup Finals.  Out of principle, I don't watch a postseason once my team, in this case the Wild, are eliminated.  It hurts too much.  (This may be paradoxical, but if my team doesn't make a playoffs, I am more than happy to watch the whole thing ... with exceptions, of course.  If my team can't even make the postseason, that means my team didn't even have a chance of winning that Year's title, so I cannot have any bitterness over what could have been.  Does that make sense?)

Beyond that, though, I don't care how intriguing this matchup has become after Games 1 and 2 have both featured stunning comebacks and late Goals.  The Vegas Golden Knights are in their third Stanley Cup Finals and they're only nine years old.  They were given the most generous and bountiful birth of any expansion team in North American sports, immediately seeding their roster with stars and upside role players and parlaying them into a Stanley Cup Finals birth in their first Year.  And they have continued to cash in on the excessively valuable assets they were given, trading those away for a bumper crop of promising youngsters and aging role players, thus giving them a higher ceiling that few other teams in the NHL have, let alone were given.  And that's why I refer to them as Team Privilege, or Team Third Base.

On top of that, their starting, starring Goaltender, Carter Hart, was one of four people accused of gang raping a drugged-out women several years ago.  The Canadian judge let him off the hook, and he hooked up with the Golden Knights, and he's playing very well, thus proving that there is no God.  Oh, and he is a supporter of this separatist movement in the Canadian province of Alberta.  And on top of all that, the owner of the Vegas Golden Knights demands that his franchise is not named the Las Vegas Golden Knights, purportedly because "Las" sounds too close to "loss."  Putz.

Meanwhile, The Carolina Hurricanes have a boss, Tom Dundon, who may be riding high on the success of his hockey team, but is curiously thinning the workforce of the NBA team he owns, The Portland Trail Blazers.  He sounds creepily close to all these tech bros who think their achievement and moxie in their industry means they know everything and must be allowed to do anything, even if it means taking the livelihoods of people who just want to put food on the table.  Sounds like an asshole.  Oh ... also, The Carolina Hurricanes were stolen from the good people of Hartford, and The Hartford Whalers' famous fight song, "Brass Bonanza," has been adopted for North Carolina.  As hoary a form of cultural appropriation you can get without lasting consequences for civilization and society.

So, Team Third Base vs. The Bastard Hartford Whalers?  I choose death.

Meanwhile, my feelings for which team is winning the NBA Finals are so mixed up that I can't accurate describe them.  I know that I should hate The San Antonio Spurs because they beat my Minnesota Timberwolves, and loyalty demands that I wish evil upon those who've wronged me.  On the other side, Karl-Anthony Towns, who was loyal to the T-Wolves until the point the organization stopped being loyal to him and traded him, has a chance to win a championship with the team he was traded to, The New York Knicks.  I think he's a good guy, and I want to see him happy and successful.  And I saw what Jalen Brunson did at the end of Game 1's Win; that dude has big balls, and I really respect that, too.

So why do I catch myself rooting for the Spurs and rooting against the Knicks?  Those are two different questions that demand two different answers.  I don't know him, but it feels as though Victor Wenbanyama is a good dude who's still learning how to play in the NBA.  I like the really tall kid.  And on the other side, when the Knicks made big shot after big shot to pull out a Game 1 upset at San Antonio, I saw Knicks fans in the San Antone crowd cheer, this well of hate rises up within me.  Dammit, man, New York City sports fans are insufferable.

Such a jumble of preferences may drive a man mad.  But I'll try and tease this out.  I'm not specifically hoping that the Spurs will win, but I do hope that Wemby wins.  Meanwhile, I want to see KAT win one championship ... but I don't care about the Knicks franchise or Knicks fans winning a championship.  Hey, I need to compartmentalize if I am supposed to analyze Game 2's broadcast with any sort of objectivity.

With all that said, I plan on going to that Prince celebration concert tonight/Friday night, so I will likely miss Game 2.  Shucks.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  I really can't complain about the Lynx right now.  They had an easy screening Week, and they blistered through both opponents, the Sky in Chicago by 21 on Friday (avenging the team giving them their other Loss so far this Year [Atlanta being the other]), then the Mercury in Phoenix by, whoa, 34 in Monday that began Commissioner's Cup play (avenging, sorta, their upset Semifinal Loss in last season's playoffs).  They're 7-2, tops in the league, and I think they're leading virtually every statistic, normal and advanced.  I'm just remembering that they had similar gaudy numbers last season and not only did they not win the title, they didn't even reach the WNBA Finals.  So no, sorry, can't put them above negative numbers.  Maybe next Week if they continue their winning streak, which could reach eight because the Lynx are at home versus Golden State (tonight/Thursday night, and I've got tickets to the Game), Seattle and Paige Bueckers and The Bastard Detroit Shock.

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -2).  The Pittsburgh Pirates are above .500 this Year, and they were playing in Pittsburgh, but goddammit, don't get swept by them, ever.  At least the Twinks were able to snap their losing streak at home Monday vs. the White Sox, the club that began the Twinks' losing streak last Wednesday.  They won the series by winning Tuesday, but they got shut out yesterday/Wednesday afternoon, 8-0, as Taj Bradley, who is having a very good season so far, got shaken down for seven Hits and four Runs in 4 2/3 Innings.

And yet they're third in the Central.  Last is Kansas City, and they come to Target Field for three starting tomorrow/Friday night.  Next to last is Detroit, and after a day off Monday, Minnesota travels to them to play three starting on Tuesday.

#-Infinity: Gopher gymnastics (I think I've blog posted about these athletes before ...).  Yeah, I know that the championships were all the way back on April 18.  I wanted to talk about this fantastic team, but I just didn't have the energy or the time.  Now that we are on the really fallow portion of the sports Year, I do have time to honor and, in a contradiction to my normally pessimistic self, signal that this is a good sign of things to come.

Yes, they didn't win the NCAA title.  But they sure as hell weren't given any chance, up to and including the NCAA Championship Semifinals (the penultimate stage of the postseason), to reach the NCAA Championship Finals, aka The Four On The Floor.  They were good, seeded 13th once postseason play began, but this is a sport (and please tell me if I'm wrong) where teams normally play up to seed, so the Gophers' season was supposed to end in the NCAA Regional Finals (aka the second of four stages of the preseason).  But they followed up besting Iowa and Washington in the NCAA Regional Semifinals (the first stage) by upsetting 5-Seed Alabama and 12-Seed Utah in the NCAA Regional Finals.  (Side note: Utah, whose women's gymnastics team is called The Red Rocks, had never failed to reach the NCAA Championship Semifinals ever -- and that's half a century.  I figured that the Head Coach, Carly Dockendorf, would be told to resign because of this first-in-a-lifetime disappointment, but apparently, she's still HC.)

That was good.  What they did in the NCAA Championship Semifinals was even more spectacular.  UCLA, the 4-Seed, competed in the same meet as the Golden Gophers since the NCAAs began, so they advanced together.  The Bruins were so generous in rooting for Minnesota as they began their Cinderella run.  So, um ... it got awkward when the U. outpointed UCLA (as well as 9-Seed Arkansas) to become one of The Four On The Floor for the first time in program history.  I feel kind of bad for the Bruins, even if I'm supposed to hate them.  Anyway, they finished last in the NCAA Championship Finals, behind 1-Seed Oklahoma, 2-Seed LSU, and 3-Seed Florida, who finished, respectively, first, second and third.  (Another side note: I glanced at the TV once when the Finals were winding down, and I swear that Minnesota was third in scoring.  Either LSU or Florida was way behind; was that a screw-up by ESPN?)

See what I mean when I say this sport's titles usually go to seed?  That's why I wanted to note this squad here.  What they did was unprecedented; Minnesota is the lowest Seed to ever reach the Finals.  And considering that they have had some recent success, and that (I think) the state is really involved in women's gymnastics, I think this could, and should, be the start of something great.  I don't allow myself to feel optimistic about pro sports in this way.  For one, they haven't won shit since 2017.  But also, with the possible exception of baseball, the financial rules of pro sports leagues are such that bad teams are given the means (meaning very good young players) to become good teams.  Not so much with college teams.  Coaching matters, and with the NIL Era upon us, spending money to pay players may cause a shake-up in the hierarchy.  But there is a hierarchy, and not to get too detailed with what I mean, the bottom line is that in a college sport, there are traditional blue bloods that win everything and then there are schools that never win.  And you see, Minnesota in 2026 broke that rule in women's gymnastics.  For that reason, there is an opportunity here to be seized upon.  Money, attention, recruits ... I want to think that all of that is beginning to be funneled toward this program because of this level of achievement.  And maybe, just maybe, this could be parlayed into the rise of a new power in women's gymnastics.  Yes, this sounds pie in the sky.  But after what these gymnasts pulled off, I want to believe.

Exercise Or My Stuff?

Today/Wednesday I have the day off.  Well, I need to go to the dentist in the morning, but I don't have anything I have to do after that.  I could finally delve into clearing out my stuff ... but, because the community center is now closed on Sundays for several weeks, tonight/Wednesday night would be a good time to work out.  It's not like I'll get home too late and be too tired to exercise, which is the excuse I always use to not work out after a workday.

Last/Tuesday night I actually got out of work early.  (I think it had to do with mechanical problems down south.  The work that was supposed to come yesterday/Tuesday will come today/Wednesday ... when I'm not there.  Heh-heh.)  I could have gone home and gone through my stuff.  But no, I wanted to celebrate instead by eating Mexican because it's Taco Tuesday.  Then I saw a movie -- The Sheep Detectives, which is a neat movie, but I was going to see Mortal Kombat II.  When I got to the theater, however, they said the movie had already started.  The cashier gave me a showtime a half-hour earlier than the one I saw.  He said I may have been looking at the wrong theater, but I checked my phone -- it said the MKII was starting at 5.  (No matter; I wanted to see it because I thought it was the sequel to the Mortal Kombat film I saw back in 1995.  Tonight I learned that there was not one but two movies between that and this film.  If I missed a flick in a series, I don't feel the need to see the later ones.)

And Monday I got home, but I was, um ... worked over by my ATF.  I wanted to just sit in bed and mentally bask in what she just did to me, so I felt no need to give myself angst by going through my stuff.  Right decision, too.

All's that to say that, once again, I have had ample opportunities to go through the stuff I say I need and want to go through, and yet I don't.  I think the excuses I give are credible.  Still, they're excuses.  And still, my stuff piles up.

I'll go work out anyway.  Got to stay in some sort of shape.

Can't believe she did it!  Beyond my wildest dreams!!  And I didn't have to worry that I shot three days in a row, because the third day, last night, was -- pow!!!

But does this change things?  Hope not. ...

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Sunday, May 31:

• Fucked ****e.  Maybe I shouldn't have done it after getting wanked by ***e*, but I already promised ****e.  I wish I had given myself more time to recuperate.  Total: $120.
• Saturday the 30th ... said HJ from ***e*.  "Responded" perfectly fine.  Total: $120.
• In the afternoon I went to the barber school to get a shave.  Seeing some from high school whom I haven't seen since high school, and I reckon I should clean myself up a bit, even if I'll have a week's worth of stubble on my face.  With tip: $12.
• I then went to Nelson's Cheese for a chicken wrap, a medium corn bacon chowder, and a bottle of RC Cola.  I said that the corn bacon chowder was a diuretic for the ice cream I had the night before, but it was a very tasty diuretic.  It was expensive, so the I gave back all the change from the $20 I handed over, so I spent: $20.
• On Thursday the 28th I went to the Moonwater Gin Bar, specifically for the sushi pop-up.  I'm still on a high from the yellowtail tuna I had.  While I tipped through the receipt, for some reason the restaurant-within-the-restaurant also had fishbowls out asking for tips for both the itamae and the wait staff.  I kind of think it's overkill, but hey, I was totally happy with everybody and everything there, so I tossed in three bucks in both bowls, so the total comes out to: $6.
• Back to Sunday, May 24 ... I first went to Brit's Pub for EPL "Decision Day."  To celebrate the big spectacle (and big crowd), I got two dishes to go along with my Bloody Mary.  With tip: $53.
• I then went to Bebe Zito to grab ice cream.  These guys don't have pennies (I think), so they do the "nearest nickel" thing, and mind rounded up.  With tip -- and golly, that much for ice cream?!: $8.60.
• See, I went to Bebe Zito for ice cream because I wanted to try an affogato by going next door to Caffetto and ordering a double shot of espresso.  Pour the espresso over the ice cream and voila, affogato!  (This wasn't my idea; one day when I went to Caffetto, the barista told me outside food is allowed and in fact told me this hack.)  With tip: $5.
• On Saturday the 23rd I was also at Brit's Pub, this time for the English Championship play-up Game, won by Hull (on a Goal in Second Half Stoppage Time) over Middlesbrough.  I was going to get a second dish if it were going to Extra Time, so that late tally saved me money.  Still, with what I got (a bacon butty [?] and a Bloody Mary), I spent, with tip: $38.
• Later that afternoon, I went to the Loons Match.  Then, after the Tie, I went to Bang Brewing.  It's a nice, humble, easygoing place.  They have great pizza (from a different company).  And they are trying to be sustainable with everything they do, including using the grains for their beer.  I charged the pizza, but I paid cash for the Kernza.  With tip: $9.
• And then I saw that they offer products from this Patagonia Provisions line, items from the Patagonia outdoor wear company that also promote sustainability.  I'll bite; I bought crackers and, even though I swore I'd never eat them and think they're gross on pizza, a tin of anchovies.  Total for both: $11.
• Thursday, May 21 -- it was the very first day of the Kickoff To Summer At The Fair, The Minnesota State Fair.  I saw it as an opportunity to get the fair food I always wanted to get but never got around to getting, get the fair food I usually get so I could try other fair food when the actually State Fair rolls around, and eat all of that without the crazy crowds.  Well, the first thing I did was line up at Amish Annie Donut.  What am I doing?  I mean, the chocolate chip donut was great, but why am I replicating the bad part of the State Fair, and first thing?  The fairgrounds itself, a lot of it cordoned off (BTW, there was no Midway because the rides aren't there), was sparse, actually, so there was room to roam without getting bodied up creepily.  (There are limits to crowds for all four days of this pre-Fair Fair; Saturday and Sunday sold out.)  I went back and forth for both food and drinks and using cash and a credit card.  I used cash for the donut (with tip), cheese curds, a small mini donut beer (with tip), and a Minneapple Pie with cinnamon ice cream.  (For my own sake, I want to note here that I used my credit card for a blue raspberry lemonade from Little Prairie Coffee, a pickle pizza from Rick's, and a Big Fat Bacon, something I've always wanted to try.)  Cash total: $44.
• Back to Sunday the 17th, where I spent my afternoon at Art-A-Whirl, eating and drinking while walking around and looking at art.  I was going to have separate bullet points for every food and drink I bought, but I just realized that, like the Minnesota State Fair, there's nothing stopping me from aggregating all the stuff I consume into one bullet point because this was all for one occasion and one "event," albeit a big one.  So, my OCD satisfied and to spare myself a few more seconds of time, I can tell you that the elote, a special beer from Pryes Brewing just for Art-A-Whirl (with tip), and a can of Coke (also with tip) I paid for with cash to the tune of: $19.
• I will separate donations from victuals and libations.  I saw someone carrying a very light-looking safe on her shoulders.  She was getting the word out about a Narcan first aid kit.  She and the person she was with were soliciting donations, so the second time I saw them, I kicked in: $1.
• Friday, May 15: This is when Art-A-Whirl started, and I bought three pieces of art, two of them with cash, and I feel better of I separated them since they are things that, well, I still have.  In front of this art gallery I patronize was this artist selling small pieces of art.  One of them was an egg chair.  It came disassembled in a small plastic case, like a toy you would get when you put in a quarter in a vending machine, you know?  I found it whimsical enough to buy, even though I assembled it real quick and I think this is a chair only for small eggs.  Regardless, it was cheap: $1.
• I took a break from "arting" and went to Stargazer.  This place may be the hippest part of the Twin Cities for food, and I'm glad I hit Stargazer for the first time in a long time.  One drink, a Stargazer Burger (which actually is the size of a slider), pasta and tip came out to: $48.
• A small parking lot was cleared out for a couple art stalls and a couple pop-ups for food and drink.  The pizza and drink I got (both of which I charged) were great.  But I spied a freezer from this company called Chunk Chunk, and I had to get an ice cream sandwich.  Paid: $7.
• I finally bit the bullet, went back to the art gallery I've been going to for decades, and decided I had the money and the courage to buy a piece of art from the owner, another person I've been acquaintances with for decades.  It is a small framed print which I now have at my work desk.  Yeah, I buy art now.  By the way, I don't know if it's just art, but one does not pay sales tax if you can pay with money.  Cost: $35.

Good through May 31.

I had to evacuate my bowels four or five (probably five) times yesterday.  I had a chicken wrap, and an RC Cola for lunch, but I think the big thing was the medium corn bacon chowder I had.  It was good, and I don't think it was the diuretic in and of itself.  But it triggered all the excrement in my colon from the ice cream I had Friday night.  Things happen like that, at least with my body.  But I didn't think I had four-to-five visits to the bathroom's worth of it.

I think I'm all better now!

Why Did I Think Cleaning The Condenser Unit Would Be Easy?

When it comes to maintaining the AC, I didn't think it would be hard.  I studied up on cleaning the condenser unit.  What I did not take into account is screwing back in the lid.  I should have, because screwing things back in is never as easy as unscrewing them.

This whole rigmarole surrounding cleaning the outdoor unit was a pain in the ass.  I had to first get the water system up and running.  I got everything set up in the backyard, but forgot that the gate valve in the basement had to be turned on, and when I did, I heard this scary as hell banging as the water started flowing.  And then I went outside and the pipe leading to the spigot (where I hooked up the hose I used to rinse the unit) was dripping water like crazy.  I thought there was a bad leak, but it stopped, so (shrug).

I then was able to unplug the condenser.  I was able to yank the, and I just learned this is what it was called yesterday on YouTube, the cartridge in the outdoor breaker, and then the cartridge in the main circuit breaker in the basement.  Unscrewing the cover to get inside the condenser was easy.  Applying the cleaner seemed fine, even though I though there would be a lot more froth.  And the hose worked in rinsing off the cleaner.  But goddammit, I kept lining up the lid, but the holes through which I had to screw the screws wouldn't line up for all five screws.  I was getting both frustrated and hot, and that's not a good combination, so I went back inside to eat the rest of my chicken wrap and cool off.  I tried again, got three screws in, then said screw it with the other two screws.  Everything works and I finally turned on the air conditioning for the first time this year.  But I have two screws extra.

My bedroom is right above the unit.  I don't think it's noisier than it would be if it had all five screws in.

Making My Schedule Based On Time, Money, Car Vibes, And Semen

Fitting my schedule to accommodate chores, outings, and time with my stripper girlfriends have just overwhelmed me.  I need to budget my time, I need to make sure I have enough money to do everything I want to do, I'm getting kind of freaked out over driving everywhere because of the obscene price of gasoline, and, most important of all, I need to make sure I'm able to cum on demand.

It's the stripper girlfriends where all of this comes to a head (in a manner of speaking).  I wanted to get with ****e for the longest time, and I thought last weekend was it, but she didn't answer my texts in a timely manner.  Finally, last weekend she said that this weekend was good.  After some back-and-forth, I am supposed to see her tomorrow/Sunday.  Then, ***e* blindsided me by telling me she was in town this weekend and wants to cum visit.  Not a great time, but I slotted her in for this/Saturday morning.  I don't know if my penis can perform back-to-back, but consider ***e* is only here this weekend and I already promised ****e, I kind of have to turn back the clock.

On top of all that, I've been going back-and-forth with my ATF regarding a massage.  I thought Monday would work, but when I texted her that I would be home Monday, my goddamn cellphone auto-corrected it to I would be gone Monday.  I caught it last/Friday night and said that I could be available after the weekend, and she apparently agreed.  Phew!  (By the way, if my ATF surprises me by doing something freaky, it won't matter that I shot the day before.  I know that, even in my advanced age, surprising trysts with women for the first time will have me ejaculating left and right!)

Now, beyond having fun (which seems kind of forced right now), I have things I need to do -- stuff like getting a shave, replenishing my alcohol, and seeing my junior prom date at the cemetery.  But before all that, I have stuff around the house I need to do -- stuff like getting my irrigation system up and running and, more importantly, cleaning my outdoor condenser unit.  Summer jumped me this week, and even though I partly am backing off on turning on the air conditioner because I don't want to spend money (being the primary caretaker of a house now turns you into a miser, believe me), I think it's high time I clean the outdoor condenser.  After all, my ATF should be giving me a rubdown on Monday, and I want her to be as comfortable as possible.  Running a fan won't be enough to cool her down, and besides, I want to close the windows in case she touches me to the point where I start screaming.

But I've never done it before.  I've looked through the YouTube videos, and I know I should clean out the debris that's inside it, then use a cleaner to clean the coils from the inside out, then use a hose to rinse it from the inside out.  But, they suggest I cut the power.  And even though I have turned off both the thermostat and the AC, I have no idea how to cut off power from the circuit breaker right next to the condenser unit.  I open up the cover and all I see is a metal loop.  What the hell is that?  Oh, well.  I think I am going to try and clean everything after I just turn off the AC and thermostat.

Oh, wait ... I can't hose the unit down after I clean everything because I haven't connected the water yet.  And I can't do that until I screw the nut into the, um, thingy that was pulled out in the fall in order to winterize our irrigation system.  I tried screwing it by hand, but I can't screw it in tight, so some time this/Saturday afternoon I am going to get a wrench and twist it in.  Then, I can use the water, and then I can begin cleaning the condenser because I can then rinse it.  Will I get this all done in one afternoon?  Who knows?  I might screw up, or hesitate at a step and decide screw it, I'll just turn the whole AC on.  I'm keeping my options open.

How does driving fit into this?  Shaving involves me driving in one direction, shopping for alcohol and visiting my deceased prom date means I need to drive in the other.  I do not want to drive both directions this/Saturday afternoon, especially if I need to do this thing with the condenser and irrigation system.  Since I'm seeing a friend next week, I think I'll get my shave and do everything else next weekend.  I think.  I'm keeping my options open!

Yeah, I'm busy.  And I haven't even mentioned sleep.  I want to budget one day where I can sleep in.  But I have to get up at a certain time to make sure I go out to the bank to get money today/Saturday to pay ***e*, and then I have to wake up at a certain time tomorrow/Sunday to drive over to ****e's place because she asked me to.  I won't like being woken up by an alarm up to a dozen days in a row (through next Saturday, when I'm supposed to meet this long-lost friend for which I'm getting my face shaved).

Gosh, I'm dealing with a lot of moving pieces I need to fit over the next two weeks -- and that's just for now, who knows what else is coming down the pike.  I know it's not serious in the big picture, but right now it feels serious to me.

On A High From Eating Sushi

Had sushi, as well as sashimi, last night at this pop-up by a guy making a name for himself.  My bleepin' Buddha, that was great.  In particular, the yellowtail roll I had was excellent.  I'm not even a sushi guy, but since that first bite into that sushi, I've been on cloud nine.  It's so good, I will feel bad once I eat something else because I would feel like I'm disrespecting both the yellowtail roll I consumed and this guy who made it.  I should starve myself to death, because that is an appropriate last meal.

I think this sushi master wants to open up his own place, he just doesn't have the capital yet.  Well, if he keeps this up, he'll be able to line up the finances in due time.  And I will go eat at his place.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Lynx (Last Week: -2).  I'm still scarred by seeing up close them blowing a big lead and losing to Atlanta in the season opener.  But they avenged, if something like that were even possible in sports, by taking a lead on the Dream and actually maintaining through the end of the Game last/Wednesday night at Target Center 96-81.  That capped off a 3-0 screening Week for the Lynx that included victories over Toronto at home and at Chicago, the only other team who has beaten Minnesota so far in this young season.  The Lynx now sit at 5-2 and lead the entire WNBA.

I should say a little bit about Olivia Miles.  I still think she needs to develop a jump shot and could be better defending the perimeter.  But perhaps I was a bit too harsh when the Lynx passed over Awa Fam Thiam for Money Miles.  After all, the one position this franchise has sorely needed since the retirement of Lindsay Whalen was a bona fide Point Guard, and Miles was just sitting there at #2 in the draft.  This was an immediate plug-and-play solution to a problem, and it has paid off in spades.  Whenever the team plays, I go on social media and hope to see replays of Miles sending the basketball through a keyhole to an open teammate that I still can't believe was that open.  Miles's court vision is off the charts, and that skill alone both justifies the selection and should earn more recognition from women's sports skeptics.

Light Week this Week: After playing in Chicago Saturday, they play at the Sky again tomorrow/Friday night, then visit Phoenix, the squad that upset them in last Year's playoffs (which was earmarked for the Lynx, who'll go down as The Best Team Never To Win A WNBA Title), Monday night.

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -1).  A 4-2 Week, which, in the starkly mediocre American League (at least for right now), puts them in a tie for the final Wild Card spot alongside Toronto.  This is the point where I bring up the Twinks' record as of press time, which is 27-29.  (Aside: The entire American League West is below .500???)  They began the screening Week sweeping the Red Sox in a three-Game series at Fenway Park over the weekend, the first time they've swept them in Boston since 1994.  They have since been involved in a strange tussle with the White Sox at Comiskey Park, losing two-of-three so far, including last/Wednesday night's 15-2 humiliation.

After finishing up with the Pale Hose this/Thursday afternoon, they'll play three in Pittsburgh over the weekend.  That ends their maximum road trip; they'll host The Chicago White Sox, but only for three Games, starting on Monday.

#-3: United FC (Last Week: -3).  These guys are still in a funk, especially offensively.  These Loons couldn't be that dependent on James Rodriguez to feed players the ball in the final third, but lately they seem incapable of getting even a shot off.  Saturday's Match is a prime example.  They were down to Real Salt Lake at Allianz Field since the 21st Minute, but they looked absolutely incapable of stringing a pass sequence together.  They also committed Offsides eight times; that's like shooting yourself in the foot eight times over 90 minutes.  Finally, in the 92nd Minute, MNUFC were able to tie the Game, and steal a Point, off the head of, of people, Mauricio Gonzalez.

Great they didn't lose, but they are winless in their last four, so in that sense, having a break of almost two Months might actually do this organization some good.  MLS' Transfer Window, BTW, begins July 13, so right near the end of the Men's World Cup.  Also, United FC go into the break eighth in the West, so barely holding onto a playoff spot.

Car Fluids Spoil??

Yesterday I learned that motor oil goes bad if you don't use it after a certain point.  You know, maybe I should've known better, but I thought that motor oil, you know, never goes bad.

That may be why the big jug of oil Father used never seemed to work when I put it in my car.  The level on my dipstick never went up, and if I didn't put in more soon after I put in some, I felt enormous stress that I should.  It seems as though I never have an issue seeing the oil level in my engine go up after I use one of the newer quart bottles I have in the back of my car.

But I continue to look through the Internet for tips on using motor oil that's been lying around.  I've seen sites that say that you should dump motor oil if it's been open for year, others two years, still others five.  I was of the mind of giving the leftover oil in our garage to the county hazardous waste site, but some corners of the World Wide Web say I can still use it.  So, what's the correct answer?

And I did more research and discovered that the coolant I lug around in my car also expires.  Do I need to get rid of that, too??

Damn, this is getting confusing, and expensive.

The Last-Ever Meal At Peter's Grill

I started this blog post just with the title.  It was July 3, 2013.

The place closed for good July 29, I think.  I had never been there, but after 99 years, a place that had a solid connection with Old Minneapolis was going to close, and I felt the need to connect to it.  And sure, maybe the irony of being a first-timer to Peter's Grill on its last day was too much for me to resist, but I went and, after a long wait where all the servers were too busy helping others and, I guess, trying to rectify the death of an institution that was a part of their lives for so, so long.

And I think I hesitated to write this blog post for so long because ... well, I eventually forgot.  But I remember taking a picture of my meal, and I wanted to, for the first time, post a picture I took myself in the blog post, but I never learned how to upload a photo onto Blogger.  And then I think I began hesitating as to whether I wanted to put a picture I took myself onto WAF for identity reasons.  Whatever the reason, I don't know where that photo is now; the ones on my cellphone go back only to 2014.

I remember sitting at the bar and I was told that all the food was gone by the time I got there.  I may have played the woe-is-me card because someone, and it very well could have been the owner, heard my sob story, went to the kitchen (and I could see into it from my barstool), and took what appeared to be a prepared dish.  I don't think it was going to be given to a customer; I got the impression that one of the workers prepared it for him or herself, either because they were hungry over their busy day or they wanted something to take home to eat and/or remember Peter's Grill by.  And this guy, presumably the owner, took that and gave it to me.  It was a tuna sandwich.  Can't say I was blown away, but it was, and is, important to me that I had a piece of Peter's Grill before it shut down.

But assuming that tuna sandwich was for someone else, I feel bad.  Sorry.

It was packed in there.  Which raises the usual issue that if it were packed before it closed, the restaurant wouldn't have had to close, now, would it?  But hey, it's a downtown restaurant, and those are vanishing by the minute because it's so hard to make money when you cater mostly to people coming to and from work.

I just read that the owner blamed food trucks for permanently crippling his business.  Well, this is also ironic, but as I have heard, there are no more food trucks in either downtown since the pandemic.  So many companies decided their employees could work from home during COVID that food trucks determined there was no longer money to be made downtown, either.  Maybe that has changed since we're now six years beyond the pandemic.  But I haven't heard of a glut of food trucks invading downtown Minneapolis every lunch hour.

You know, I assumed I would have more to say about the death of Peter's Grill.  Well, shelving this blog post for 13 years shortens the story, I guess.

Where Are The Lilacs?

Just noticed, while I was eating frozen pizza in the dining room just now, that I didn't see the lilac trees in my backyard didn't bloom.  They usually bloom some time in late April/early May, if I'm not mistaken, but only for a week.  Now, I've been hella busy, but I want to think that I would have noticed if the lilacs bloomed because they are pretty and fragrant, and I would've gone to the backyard to see and smell them.  I have yet to do that ... or did not do that, one or the other.  So it's possible I didn't notice, but it's more likely it hasn't, or didn't, bloom.  If not -- damn, what's going on?

Wood Splinter Might Be The Death Of Me

I finally decided that we won't have cool days where the heat kicks in, so I removed all of the blocks and plastic tarp Father put on and around the outdoor condenser to protect it from the snow.  One of the things on top of the condenser was a large but thin piece of plywood.  Stupid me didn't put on gloves before doing this bit of yardwork, and when I grabbed this, I touched a shard of wood that pierced my skin.

I washed the area and, if I am right about where the puncture was, I put a bandage on it.  But if my hypochondria is justified, I am still feeling a bit ... oogy.  So, if I don't wake up in the morning, you'll know I died because of, uh, complications from this wood splinter.  Just an FYI.

Well, I'm still drinking way too much alcohol; drank a Bloody Mary for the second consecutive day.  But hey, at least ****e finally got back to me this morning.  It would've been too late anyway, but she said next weekend would be better.  And then she sexted me a picture of herself in a dress with convenient holes, shall we say.

So, next weekend is it.  But I have this nagging feeling she'll change her mind, damn it.

I'm A Desperate, Horny, Forgetful Goddamn Lush

So I'm starting this blog post at a quarter to 4 in the morning.  I'm doing what I want to do over an extended holiday -- staying up, surfing the Internet, listening to music (this time terrestrial radio on my boombox).  But my cellphone is plugged into my power bank.  The fuckin' thing is pissing away energy.  I juiced it up to 80% last nigh, then unplugged it like you're supposed to, but then within, oh, half an hour of active doomscrolling, it couldn't even hold its charge for that long.  When it dipped to 76%, I plugged it in again, hoping I would unplug it once it reached 80% again.  But I knew there was a chance I'd be distracted by looking at my laptop, and of course I did.  It soared well past 80%, which I hear is bad for my phone (even though it's already in not-great shape).  At this point, if it's already past 80%, I might as well charge it all the way so I can delay when I need to charge it up again.

That's the forgetfulness I hate about me that reared its ugly head over the past 24 hours.  This past evening I made myself a cocktail, a margarita featuring juice from a lime that I bought over a week ago that may or may not have spoiled.  I drink too much already, so I'm trying to hew to the "1-2-3" rule Dr. Vivek Murthy recommended in his last days as President Biden's Surgeon General.  The problem, I realized while drinking the margarita, is that that was my fourth drink of the day.  I started off with a bloody mary in the morning while watching the English Championship Play-Up Match (won by Hull over Middlesbrough in a 95the Minute Goal), then had a cider at the United FC Match, then had a beer with a Farina Rossa pizza after the Match at a craft brewery.  And this is on the heels of drinking three drinks Friday ... and two drinks Thursday ... and two (or was it three?) drinks Wednesday.  All I can say is, I drink a lot.

Oh, MNUFC has a program where you can drop off pop tops at their waste receptacles.  I have a pile of them, and I was going to bring them with to drop them off, but I forgot to put them into my cargo pants.  I didn't leave them in my cargo pants because, unlike my denim jeans, my cargo pants don't have that fifth "watch pocket," and I didn't like the feeling of those pop tops jangling around inside a big pocket on my cargos and potentially falling out if I'm sleeping in my car and put my legs parallel to the ground.  But all day yesterday I reminded myself to put those pop tops in my pants.  But I didn't.  Oh, and then I took out the pop top on my Wild State cider intending to deposit it ... and I fucking forget to do that, too.  I meant to be rid of these pop tops, and I wound up collecting more.  And even though there will be a MNUFC2 Match at Allianz Field in one Month, the Loons are off because of the World Cup for two Months.  Fuckin' great.

And all the while I've been trying to see if I can arrange a fuck session with ****e.  Earlier last week I texted her; no answer.  I texted her again, saying I am free either today or tomorrow; she just said, "ok."  She gets this way sometimes, minimally responsive and vague.  I asked for clarity while eating pizza and eating beer last night, but she has yet to respond.  I'm horny enough that I want to make booty texts to all of my stripper girlfriends (even though a lot of them are out of town this Memorial Weekend, dammit) so I can get some lovin' this long, lonely weekend.  But ... fuckin' A, ****e is the only one who'll let me inside her, so I gotta give her every chance to get back to me.  But what if she's on one of her episodes where she ghosts me?

This weekend is supposed to be fun.  In many ways, it is.  And I am seeking every which way to find the negative in all of this.  Maybe that's a sign that I should fix myself instead of just rationalizing my decadence and inattention as part of enjoying the long holiday.  Or, maybe I should just say fuck it all.

I Don't Believe Her

So my cousin, who I haven't seen in at least a quarter-century and whose son is going to medical school here, wanted to know when I was free, right?  I asked if I could get back to her in the middle of the week so I could figure things out.  Well, the soccer results being what they were, I texted her on Wednesday -- like she asked me to -- and I told her that besides Saturday and Sunday morning, I was totally free for the weekend.

Then, nothing.  Well, I hadn't heard from her until yesterday/Friday.  Since I moved up my speakeasy visit from last/Friday night to Wednesday, last/Friday night was free for me, and that's when the both of them would get into town, so I figured that if last/Friday night was the only time the two of them could see me, I should text again.  She got back to me ... and she said sorry, they're busy, they can't see me this time around.  Maybe closer to the beginning of school, when they come back, but not now.

Sorry, I don't buy it.  At all.  She reached out to me, out of the blue.  She then called me, enthusiastically, asking when we could meet.  All I asked for was a few days and then I would get back to her, which I did.  And then my cousin just says, basically, whoops, can't see you?  I don't understand the about face at all.

Sure, I'll be dark and conspiratorial.  Maybe she decided that me asking, oh so gently, for some space and time was a rejection to her.  She took that as a sign that I didn't want to see her at all, which is not true at all.  My only other theory is that Father talked/got to her.  He had some dumb fucking thoughts in his head that when I said I needed to get back to her later, I really meant that I didn't want to be bothered, and so he told her to lie and say that she and her son realized they were busy.  I can't think of what else it could be, because I don't believe her when she texted me that they're busy.

Honestly, this hurts.  She wanted to see me and now she doesn't?  I blocked out some time and moved around some things so I could spend an afternoon or evening or day with them.  She basically said to forget it.  Don't understand.

I can't do anything except wait until my cousin and cousin once removed supposedly come back late in the summer to see if they really want to see me.  If they do, and we meet up, great.  If not ... why in the hell did she even ask for my phone number?

Oh, by the way, because my Friday night was free, I went back to my original plan of greeting The Beginning Of Summer by going to my speakeasy.  Yes, it was the second time in three nights.  I can't quit the place, and after this emotional whiplash, I needed a couple drinks.

You know, the big drawback to going out all these days is my disincentive to brush my teeth.  Sure, I have plenty of time after I get home to do that, but I'm tired and there are other things I need to do.  For example, I got home from gorging myself at the Kickoff To Summer At The (Minnesota State) Fair, and I had to buy chocolates online, then I had to watch intently the last episode of The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, and then I had to blog post, so now I'm too tired and I have to go to bed!  When will I ever have the time to brush my teeth?

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Twins (Last Week: -1).  Once again I am struck by how turgid the Twinks have been playing but still having a not-implausible shot to reach the playoffs.  Amazing that a 4-3 screening Week doesn't sink a team, but these days it gosh darn well elevates them and gets them jobs.

I'm tired, so that's all I have to say.  Well, that and they travel to Boston for three at Fenway Park over the weekend, then they travel to Comiskey Park for four Games beginning on Memorial Afternoon.  Some people enjoy a baseball Game on a holiday.  Me, I think I want to just stay home and not even open my door.

#-2: Lynx (Last Week: -2).  Olivia Miles can dish like no one's business.  But can she develop a jump shot?  And how is she on Defense?  Because although they gutted out a four-Point Win over The Bastard Detroit Shock in Dallas Thursday, the Wings followed it up with a defeat at home to Chicago.  While Miles may have solved the Lynx's Point Guard problem, they now have a frontcourt (or lack thereof) problem.

Host Toronto tonight/Friday night, then at Chicago Saturday afternoon, then home to Atlanta.

#-3: United FC (Last Week: -5).  Lost to New England, 2-1, on a stupid, stupid pass to the Revolution that was slotted home for the winning score.  That means they're in a funk, going winless in their last three Matches.

Saturday afternoon they host Real Salt Lake (it was originally scheduled in the evening, but then James Rodriguez signed with the Loons and network TV quickly put MNUFC on as many of their windows as possible to maximize eyeballs ... little did the media stakeholders know that Rodriguez was going to leave the squad after just, oh several months at the helm) in the last regular season Game before MLS goes on almost a two-Month sabbatical.  

#-Infinity (tie): Timberwolves and Gopher baseball (Last Week, respectively: -3 and -4).  I'll say it: The Timberwolves' window is closed.  It is highly disappointing to see them go out like this, with three of the four Losses to San Antonio being blowouts, worst of all at home in the fatal Game 6.  The way they went out is highly disappointing, and it has to say something about the construction of the roster, namely 1) they miss Donte Divincenzo, even though I don't know if they would've won with him; 2) Rudy Gobert helps the Timberwolves defeat The Denver Nuggets and only The Denver Nuggets in the playoffs; and 3) Julius Randle was as cold this postseason as he was hot last postseason, but he'll be the fall guy because the team took a step back by being eliminated in The Western Conference Semifinals this Year.

But we can all see the reality: The squads the T-Wolves lost to in the last two playoffs, the Spurs and The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics, are the class of the NBA now, and Minnesota is not.  Blow it up?  Hate to be a nihilist, but I can't say no.  Winning a title is the only thing that matters, and unless the Wolves get super better (or San Antonio and Oklahoma City get hit with a rash of injuries in the same season), it'll be those teams for the next, oh, half-decade.  Minnesota will be a lot older in five years' time, so the only way they get better is to bite the bullet and trade for youth or the undervalued -- or shit, man, trade for anything that loosens up the constipated Offense.  And even that acknowledges that there will be no champions in the immediate horizon.  All I can think of is that in retrospect, the 2024 postseason was this club's champs.  Home-court advantage over a team three Seeds below and who had one guy (Kyrie Irving) basically playing on one leg -- and the Timberwolves lost???  Damn all of us to hell.

Oh, yeah, the Gopher baseballers.  The armageddon scenario happened: The Gophers get swept at Siebert in the final regular season Games of the year to a highly-skilled Nebraska team, and that pushed the U. below Michigan St. for the twelfth and final spot in The B1G Baseball Tournament.  Finishing on a five-Game losing streak doesn't make Ty McDevitt a bad Head Coach, but it doesn't make him a good one, either.  And since I am very tired, that is all I have to say about that.

Could my cousin want to visit home?  No, can't let her.  I'll say I'm too busy to arrange coming to the house, or I'll be running around all weekend and I can only see you someplace.  But shit, man, can't let her visit the house when it's like this.  That would be bullshit.

Need to make sure I keep her far away from the house.  Maybe I'll lie to keep her from even bringing it up.

I've Given Up And Am Going Out A Lot This Week ... Again

So I've bitched often (though not in the past week like I thought) about "needing" to go out too many evenings in the week.  Man, sometimes I just want to go home from work and fucking stay there.

I was trying to reach some equilibrium with that this week, especially since it's a holiday weekend and you're supposed to just veg out.  But I had to chuck that all out the window.  First it's because of my cousin and her son.  She said that Friday might work, but that's The Official Start Of Summer, and I had plans to go to my speakeasy and ease into this Endless Summer by drinking.  Saturday could work, too, but United FC has a Match in the afternoon, I wanted to relax with pizza and a beer afterwards, and there is the possibility of the English Championship Play-Up Match that morning (I say possibility because as I type this, there is a hearing to determine whether Southampton, one of the teams playing, should be kicked out for spying on Middlesbrough, the club it beat more than a week ago to reach the Final).  Sunday and Monday are a lot freer, but I was hoping to fuck ****e one of those days and stay in the other, and I want to do both so badly that I consider seeing my cousin one of those days, as convenient that it might be, a frustrating spanner in the works.  I don't want to say I would rather not see my cousin, but ...

I'm getting over myself.  For one thing, all this soccer watching is still up in the air; Sunday, for example, is Decision Day in the EPL.  If Tottenham Hotspur is still in jeopardy of being relegated, I'm going out to watch it at a pub that morning, and in that case I probably won't have any time to myself at home this weekend.  Still, I'm looking for some solace, and I have to look to the workweek for that, too.  My plan during the workweek was to go out last/Monday night because I had a gas coupon that was going to expire, so I might as well work on my receipts and eat out.  Tonight/Tuesday night and tomorrow/Wednesday night I would stay in, finally.  Thursday I would, for the first time ever, go out to the State Fair, which now opens for Memorial Weekend.  Then Friday's the speakeasy.

That was all shot to hell when I came home from work last/Monday night.  Taped onto my screen door was a notice from the city.  They're doing something with the main sewer line tomorrow/Wednesday.  Between 8 in the morning and 8 in the evening, I am not supposed to use any water at all in the house.  Well, fuck.  I might as well not go home after work.  So, what to do?  How about go to the speakeasy then?  I don't want to "celebrate" summer two days early, but frankly, it makes a lot of sense to just do this tomorrow/Wednesday night.  Not only would I give the city time to not mess up the house's sewer system, going out (instead of staying in) tomorrow/Wednesday night frees up Friday night for me to hang with my cousin and cousin once removed.  Looking at it that way, a lot of problems get solved.

So I'm being a social butterfly again.  Yippee ... ?

(Aside: I am working the early shift at work today/Tuesday.  I should be in bed instead of blog posting this.  Anyway, if I get done with work early, well, it would theoretically allow me to go exercise at a decent hour in the evening.  Yeah, golly, I can do that.  But on that announcement by the city, I am supposed to pour water down all my drains in anticipation of this sewer line cut tomorrow/Wednesday.  It may not take up a whole lot of time, but if I'm doing that, I might as well do other chores ... like go through my stuff, finally.  Yeah, I need to get in shape, but if I really want to go home -- well, I should just do this, huh?  Might as well salvage one night to do nothing.)

They're Coming Home Because They Think I Should House The Cousin I Haven't Heard From In Decades

This was going to be a more expansive blog post because my cousin isn't the only person who has reached out to me and wants to see me.  But things had to take a scary bad turn for me, and that's because of my goddamn parents' meddling, again.

I have learned to check the spam texts the hard way.  I lost out on a gig I applied for because the person hiring for the crew texted me, and since this number was not from a trusted contact, it went into the spam folder.  Curiosity was the only reason I checked that folder, and I saw it months after this person offered the gig to me.  What an embarrassment ... and that company hasn't hired me since.  And yet I still go to their hiring board.  I applied for something a couple weeks ago.  And I am checking the spam folder just in case they give me another chance.

Anyway, it was also in this spam folder where I saw a long text from my long-ago cousin to whom I haven't spoken in decades.  She is in town and wanted to catch up on old times.  I will be honest.  She is one of four sisters and brothers my brother and sister and I remember hanging out with from time to time when we were young.  I like this particular cousin the most even though that's based on guesses on what I remember back when we were kids.  The oldest of the four I have problems with; thing is, I don't remember if I ever got into a fight with her.  My memories of interacting with her enrage me now, but I really don't know if she thinks we don't get along.  I just don't want to see her again.

But I need to give family a chance, so I reached out ... as soon as I spoke to My Father, whom my cousin, or "cousin," said gave her my number.  I hadn't spoken to my parents pretty much for the past week, but I finally had reason to ring them up.  And yes, Father said my cousin is the real deal and so gave her my number.  OK, this is not catfishing.  We spoke -- can't say I was over-enthused on catching up, but I want to see if I could see her over the holiday weekend.  We promised to compare schedules the middle of the week.

With that matter kicked down the street, I went to Art-A-Whirl's last day.  And while I was minding my own business, trying to give myself some grace and be a part of a community that I love, I feel a buzzing on my ass.  Father called again.  I took the call while wandering around an art studio.  I should have known they would have called again demanding that I be more "hospitable."  They asked me to ask my cousin if she needed to borrow my car.  She already told me that she and her son (he'll be studying in town for the next several years) have gotten a rental.  They then fucking asked me to open up the house to them.  I told them my cousin and cousin once removed already got a hotel.  I completely fucking lied; I'm pretty sure they have, but I don't know that.  What I do know is that there is no goddamn way in hell I am going to let them stay here if I can help it.  No offense, but fuck no.

The call ended; I don't think My Fucking Parents heard the combination of rage and fear in my voice at the end of the call.  But I kept thinking about them while I was doing my personal art crawl.  Also, I remember that goddamn time they surprised me by coming home and not telling me.  So goddamn scarring; I'll never forgive them for doing that to me.  I know that they suspect that I don't keep the house clean while they're gone.

So that leads me to one conclusion: They're coming home.  They might not tell me.  They might.  But they're coming home.  They think I am so unable to be a good host for family that they will fucking pay the obscene amount a plane ticket costs these days and come home to see if I have cleaned up the house.  By the way, they insisted that I gave them my cousin's phone number, even though I think they already have it.  I can totally believe that My Fucking Parents insisted, if not demanded, my cousin cancel their hotel and car so we can give them housing and transportation.  Fucking weirdos.

I can imagine them booking plane tickets online right now.  Fuckin' A.  The house is a mess, just like I wanted to.  And I need to clean it up in five fucking days to impress one person I haven't seen in decades and another person I didn't know existed until yesterday?  Fuck that shit.  I'm too tired to clean, and I'm too busy to care.  And that's how My Fucking Parents will screw me again.  All because oh-oh-oh, I need to be good hosts for family!!!  I'll bring shame to them if I don't!!!

Fucking hate my parents.

They Stay The Same Age. But Me Getting Older Might Be A Problem After All

So after work last/Saturday night I went to this roast beef place just south of my company.  I was on my way to the Black Hart to see MNUFC play (and lose -- goddamn, what a fucking shit pass to give up the Game-winner).  I really, really wanted to see The Preakness Stakes, but because I decided to stay a bit over to grab even more overtime, I thought I resigned myself that I probably wouldn't make it to the Black Hart to see the race, especially since I had my heart set on getting this place's legendarily good roast beef after work last/Saturday night because it will be the only time in the foreseeable future 1) it would be on my way to doing other things and 2) I would naturally be hungry right after work.

I get there and the cashier taking my order is a beaut.  Fuck yeah, she is gorgeous.  But young.  I think, and hope, not teenager young, but she could not have graduated from college.  Seeing a hot young woman speaking to you, even only because she has to, brightens my day, so I order a roast beef sandwich cheerfully.  And what do you know -- this restaurant actually has a TV.  (I've been to this place before, but it's been years since the last time, so maybe they didn't have a TV then.)  I could relax and let go of my stress because I could see the horse race after all (well, the reception was poor, but at least I saw Napoleon Solo outrace the other horses at the stretch run without the feed cutting out).  I had an excuse to talk to this babe again; this time, I requested the TV be turned on to the Preakness, and because I had a reason to stay beyond eating my sandwich, I ordered french fries too, which I had planned to order until I decided to stay late at work and calculated that even though I couldn't catch the race in time, I should still make an effort to get to the Black Hart as quickly as possible ... which makes no sense now that I typed out that thought.

Anyway ... have no complaints with her service.  In fact, when I ordered fries, she just skipped past the tip screen, which I guess means she likes me ... ?  But it's not as if I could chat her up or anything.  She served me my roast beef and fries, and that was it when it came to interaction.

Still, she is fucking hot.  And as I finally left after eating and watching the race, it just so happened that three young women entered and immediately began speaking to that cashier.  They obviously are friends with the cashier from school who dropped by to chat or eat or both.  They were fucking hot, and unlike the cashier, who had to dress for work, these friends dressed for the hot weather we had and, well, dressed like young women, with their goddamn boner-inducing midriffs hanging out and shit.  If I didn't have to go -- and if I were younger and less savvy -- I would sit down and steal looks at these three babes.

And then I realized that it was most important for me at that time to go because I had plans.  I can say that my younger self would've dropped everything I would've done because ogling these chicks would be an urge I could not get over.  And beyond that, the age gap was so apparent as to be instinctive.  Even if I could assume these women were of college age, they still would be less than half my age.  Could I even think to have small talk with them?  What would we even talk about?  TikTok?  The new Olivia Rodrigo album?  What they're studying?  Finally, from the quick glance I took of the faces and bodies of these three hotties (do people say "hotties" anymore, or am I cringe saying that?) I think ... well, that they all look the same -- with each other, and with the cashier they said hi to.  Maybe if I sat and looked at them for a longer, creepier period of time, I can discern distinct differences.  I mean, they can't be quadruplets.  But am I wrong to think that all young women these days look alike?  I don't think I can say yes, but I'm going to stick to my guns and not say no.

Not going to lie; if I were a lot younger, I would be masturbating to the memory of these four babes.  That feels ... wrong now.  So maybe Matthew McConaughey was also wrong in Dazed And Confused -- even though what his character is saying would now be construed as Trump Disease:

Working Five Days, Being Paid For Eight!!!

Damn, I am racking up the overtime this week.  There always seems to be work that takes me past eight hours.  But the combination of extra work in all the positions I work, plus being asked to stay late to do data entry, plus one of my co-workers taking this week off, meant that there was a ton of work I had, and could, do -- and I did it.

I have one huge incentive to work as much as I can this week.  My co-worker?  She works Saturdays. The company is really hurting if people don't work on the weekends, so a couple months ago, my boss asked if I could work today in her place -- and OT was available.  I leapt at that chance with the quickness.  Guaranteed time-and-a-half two months before it happens?  That helps me plan ... and anticipate!

And once work made me stay just over ten hours Tuesday and Wednesday, I could envision a scenario where I would work ten hours Thursday and yesterday/Friday.  Even though I worked only and exactly eight hours Monday, staying an extra two hours each day of the rest of my normal workweek meant that I would have worked in extra eight hours by the end of yesterday/Friday.  I would have worked only five days, but 48 hours.  Now, add in today/Saturday.  I might be able to stay for OT, but actually, I want to leave in time to grab dinner and then watch The Preakness and then the MNUFC Match.  But even if I stay just eight hours today/Saturday, that means I would have worked over 56 hours this week.  That's an extra 16 hours of overtime, and at time-and-a-half, that means I would be paid the equivalent of 24 bonus hours this week!  I am working six days, but working the equivalent of seven days, and then getting paid the equivalent of eight days!!!

This doesn't beat the week I worked more than 80 hours wondering if I could get double time after I reached that point.  (In case I didn't blog post that, I didn't.)  But I don't remember the last time I worked so much in a week since then.  And I need every single bonus penny I can get from the overtime.  Gas is expensive now!!!

Eating Out Of Order

By that I mean that, pretty much all my life, once I eat something I consider light or dessert, that's the last thing I'll eat that night.  I've just never thought I could, or at least should, eat anything else, and especially anything that would be polar opposite of that light snack or that dessert.  It just shouldn't be done -- else there would be chaos.

I have breached my rule the last two nights, and I feel bad about it.  Wednesday night, after suffering through a lethargic Loons Loss, I went home and ate several Girl Scout Cookies.  But I had to stay up to do the WMNSS.  While going through it, I felt my body telling me to go to bed immediately.  However, I had to stay awake to finish the survey, and I then developed this hunger for the deli meat I had in the fridge.  So, even though I ate dessert (the Girl Scout Cookies), I went into the fridge and and pulled out one piece of ham and one piece of roast beef and wolfed both down.  And they hit the spot, ngl.

Last/Thursday night, after a long and stressful night at work, I went home, downed a snack pack of Chex Mix, then made myself a peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich, which was the only thing I was planning to eat for the night (and I was going to chase it with what turns out to be the remaining amount of milk I have).  But dammit, I got hungry, and so I finally ripped into one of the two pizza Lunchables I bought from the discount store close by me.  It was time I tried these for the first time; when I was young I was obsessed with the original Lunchables, where I would stack the cracker, meat and cheese in different orders.  But pizza?  Never had it till just this past evening, and though I wouldn't say it was the best pizza I've ever had, I didn't mind it at all.  I just feel weird, and wrong, to eat pizza after I ate a PB&J, which I consider both a light snack and, in some frames of mind, dessert.  Can I break free from my wrong order-eating sins tonight/Friday night?

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Twins (Last Week: -3).  My fucking God, what a miserable sports week it's been for Minnesota.  So bad, in fact, that after looking at all the records, it is the fucking Twinks, of which I saw a highlight of one Twinks Pitcher (don't remember who) airmailing a pickoff throw to Second Base, has to be the best team this screening Week.  Sad, really.  But they went 3-3, and those three Wins came in consecutive Games Saturday, Sunday and Tuesday, the first two of which gave them the series Win over Division-leading Cleveland.  They're still in a three-way tie with Kansas City and Detroit for third, or last.  But this Week, that's enough to climb to the top.

They finish their series at home versus Miami this/Thursday afternoon.  They then host The Bastard Seattle Pilots thrice over the weekend and Houston for a trio beginning on Monday, completing a nine-Game homestand.

#-2: Lynx (NEW SEASON!!).  So they Lynx, who've lost half their team and is without superstar Napheesa Collier until June due to double ankle surgery, began their season Saturday night at home vs. Atlanta.  First Round Draft pick Olivia Miles is the wizard many thought she would become.  There were five or six passes she made that seemed to materialize out of nowhere.  She may be a keeper.

Unfortunately, Miles doesn't yet have a jumpshot.  Also, the reason I hated the Lynx drafting her over Awa Fam (who went third to Seattle) is her unwillingness to play Defense, and besides the Steals she accumulated on the Dream, she was largely a door saloon.  Blowing a 15-Point Halftime lead to lose at the very end of the Game isn't solely her fault; after all, they went on the road and defeated Phoenix, the club that eliminated them last Year, for their first victory in 2026.  But I was at that Loss, and seeing the wheels slowly and then quickly fall off the team is something I begrudge whenever a local team blows a lead and eventually loses.  You might as well tank.

At The Bastard Detroit Shock tonight/Thursday night, hosting Chicago Sunday.

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -1).  Can't say I feel comfortable that the T-Wolves will somehow pull off the series Win over San Antonio.  Victor Wembanyama is growing into the alien form many are projected him to become.  And at many points this series, the Spurs have acted like they are the better team.  And yet, while the Wolves are down 3-2, they have tomorrow/Friday night's Game 6 at home to make this series go the distance.  It should be noted that in both of Minnesota's Wins, the margins of victory were two and five Points.  In two of three Spurs victories, San Antonio routed them by 38 and 29.

#-4: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -2).  Lost two-of-three at home to Michigan.  They actually mercy-ruled the Wolverines in Friday's opener, 13-1 in seven Innings.  But then they lost 9-8 Saturday and 8-5 Sunday.  So the Gophers are in a three-way tied for tenth place in the B1G.  The top twelves teams make it to the conference tournament (which, by the way, is configured in a way I've never seen before: The lowest eight Seeds play double-elimination with each other until four schools are bumped off.  The remaining four Seeds play the top four Seeds in a single-elimination knockout round that begins next Friday).  The only way the U. doesn't make it is if they lose all three Games this weekend and the team in 13th place, Michigan St., sweeps.  The chances of that nightmare scenario happening gets raised a bit once you learn that for their last Games of the regular season, they host 24th-ranked Nebraska this weekend.

#-5: United FC (Last Week: 0).  My fatigue is really setting in, so my grandiose essay about James Rodriguez will have to either wait or be forgotten.  But let me say I finally saw him on the Allianz Field pitch, and even though MLS still hasn't shed its reputation as the equivalent of a retirement home, seeing James make pinpoint passes no one else could see and thus prove he is one of the five best players in MLS doesn't get me up in arms.  The pair of Assists he dished out in the 2-all Draw Sunday vs. Austin at home were sublime.  Too bad he couldn't score in last/Wednesday night's droll affair versus Colorado.  The Loons got an xG of 1.50, but got shut out, 1-0.  Meanwhile, the Rapids accrued an xG of .45, and yet scored on a breakaway.  xG has always seemed to be sus.

At New England Saturday.  That's three Games over the course of a week.

#-Infinity: Wild (Last Week: -1).  I really don't want to give these assholes more oxygen than they can waste.  But with their backs against the wall and playing in an hostile environment, the Mild blew a 3-0 lead to The Bastard Quebec Nordiques and lost Game 5 and the series in Overtime, thus sending them to Cancun.  I'm just glad I was able to see a disaster (MNUFC's defeat) in person that served as a distraction from seeing a different collapse (the Mild) in real time.

What now?  Kirill Kaprizov's mammoth contract kicks in next season.  Quinn Hughes might be asked to be traded.  And the most promising roster in Wild history has fallen short, again.  Do you know the precise moment when the Wild were eliminated from postseason play?  Of course, it's Bill Guerin inviting dirty dumbfuck Kash Patel into the Team USA men's hockey locker room to get drunk on piss beer!  They were damned from that point on.

Is BBQ Supposed To Give You So Much Regret?

So last/Tuesday night after work (and after dropping off my property taxes), I went to this barbecue place relatively close by that I have heard a lot of good things about.  And I love BBQ, so I looked through reviews to see what people really liked -- and I tried pretty much all of the best recommendations, namely this place's pulled pork, ribs, brisket, and mac 'n' cheese.

It came in a relatively small tray.  I thought I would conquer it with ease.  In fact, all the items I bought were essentially half-orders, and looking at what I got, I regretted that I didn't go with full orders like I originally wanted.  Wow, was I wrong.  I finished up with the ribs, and the last two bones felt like climbing the sheer face of a mountain vertically.  After starting up just fine I hit a wall out of nowhere, and I can't help but think that the Unforgivable Wetness of 20 or even ten years ago would've wolfed all that down and ordered the same thing again.

No meat sweats, but even now I feel so logy, let alone fat.  All that meat felt good going down my throat, but now that all of that went through my stomach (and sure, my intestines, too), my tummy aches.  And I'm scared it's going to ache tomorrow.  How can I regret eating such good barbecue??

So Mother said I had to pay property taxes on the house, and they're due at the end of the week.  Also, because she's paranoid, she wants me to personally deliver the check to the receptionist at the county government building.  I would do that if I could get out of work in time.

Saw my schedule when I came to work yesterday/Monday.  The only time I get out of work early (and thus go into work early) is tomorrow/Wednesday ... and dammit, that's when I have to go to the United FC Match playing that evening.  Well of course I would be scheduled to leave work early on a day that I shouldn't.  I sure as hell won't schlep all the way up to the county building only to go back down, pass my workplace, and to the Match.  That's a lot of driving, and I am not going to drive everywhere, especially with gas as expensive as it is now, thanks, Trump.  Moreover, I wish I would've gotten my schedule before I left work on Friday.  Sometimes my boss is able to release the following week's schedule by then.  If she did, I could check back with her and ask to work an early shift on a day other than tomorrow/Wednesday.

Best thing I can do it push my workday tomorrow/Wednesday down a half-hour.  Assuming we'll be offered overtime to key, I could just flow from work to Allianz Field without worrying about excessive downtime, which is what I could be facing otherwise.

Oh, wait ... I'm talking about my property taxes, aren't I?  So yeah, I have no time to personally hand my check over to someone.  Best I can do is drive up there well after afternoon rush and drop my check off at a drop box.  Hope I can find this box.  And I hope Mother will understand, but she won't, so I'll lie about not handing the check over to a human being or something.

Dealing With Too Much E-Mail

I tried.  OK, I kind of didn't.  I had the occasional impulse to go through my e-mails and see which ones I wanted to read and which ones I could delete.  But once that urge went, it didn't, or hasn't come back for months, if not years.

At its worst, I had 100,000 unread e-mails unread in my main inbox.  Nearly all of them are political donation e-mails, and goddammit, I totally regret ever donating to those campaigns, though I'm mad mostly because my side lost.  But the donation e-mails haven't stopped.  There was a time I could go through every single e-mail that I got each and every day.  But once those donation e-mails hit my inbox, I couldn't.  So I thought I could let it go for one day ... except one day became two, and then it became a week, then a month, and then 100,000 unread e-mails.

What finally forced my hand several months ago was that Yahoo! Mail said I was bumping up against my storage limit.  Though theoretically I would eventually have to worry about the limit with all the non-political e-mails I still have in my inbox since Day One, it's all those fucking donation e-mails that have taken up all my storage space.  So, with the proverbial gun cocked and aimed at my head, I finally had the excuse to say fuck it, I'll just delete e-mails without looking at them.

But how to do that?  Going through individual e-mails to make sure they were political ones defeats the purpose of a mass delete, so I went with deleting by keyword.  But which one?  I wasn't feeling a sense of urgency.  But I knew, deep down, that I wanted to just get under this limit as quickly as possible, so I just wanted to find one keyword, zap all the e-mails with that keyword even if some innocent and non-political ones get swept up, and be done with it.

I profess I didn't think too long and hard over the one word I decided to use -- "donate."  It seemed to be the one word in every political e-mail I had.  After all, the point of those e-mails is to ask for money.  So I searched for "donate," clicked the all e-mails box, and deleted away.  Yahoo! Mail gives you a box with a final warning.  In this case, it told me that I was going to delete, say, 100 e-mails -- and then gives me the option of deleting, like, 10,000 more e-mails that also have the word "donate" somewhere in the body.  And I'm all, OK!  And Yahoo! Mail actually had to take a few minutes, but those 10,000 e-mails were gone ... and yet there were more even more e-mails in my inbox that had the keyword "donate" but weren't deleted yet.  So I had to go through this cycle two or three more times before it apparently found and killed off all the e-mails with "donate."

Got to be honest: I'm happy.  I was never going to go through the e-mails in the way my ideal self wanted to because I simply didn't have the time nor the inclination.  This massive kill-off is untidy and inaccurate, but it quickly got me down below the limit.  And I had bumped up against that limit a couple more times not too long after this first time, but I guess I had more e-mails with "donate," so zap! they went.  Finally, I'm under, and hopefully for good (so long as I get rid of the political e-mails that will infect my inbox after I die).  I know that I will be sentimental for e-mails that I really, really wanted to keep but unfortunately had "donate" somewhere in the body of that e-mail ... that is if and when I ever realize they're gone.  But I finally dealt with too much e-mail in a way that, if I were telling the truth to myself, I really like and wanted to do.