Addendum To: Gas Follies

Oh yeah, so I made it to the gas station before work.  Car got there, no problem, no stalling or anything.  I gas up ... and it stopped at 8.4 gallons.  My tank (supposedly) holds 10.6.  You're telling me that I lose all 20 bars and that low gas indicator light goes on when I have 2.2 gallons of gasoline left in my tank??  I could've gone to work, came from work to home, gotten dinner (which I did last/Monday night), then gone to the gas station, and I probably would've been fine.  My fears were unfounded because apparently, my car dashboard is a lie.

Dammit, I knew I freaked myself out.  And because there was so much traffic backed up where I wanted to go, and I didn't want to wait in traffic, I took the side streets and thus was late for work.  And now I figure that I probably didn't have to be late because I probably didn't have to stop for gas in the morning.  So stupid.

Addendum To: Missing: My Hawaiian Shirt

Update: Found it!  It was hidden underneath the pile of clothes next to me in my bedroom.  Knew I would find it!

So now I hope I've woken up early enough to get gasoline, buy lottery tickets, and get to work on time.  Wish me luck!

Gas Follies

You know, I was going to blog post this morning after blog posting at 1 this morning, but then I thought it was too early and I could do it in the evening, and not we're well into the evening.  But I want to put in a second blog post because I was in the house all day, so why wouldn't I blog post twice?  But I want to have eight hours between blog posts, so if I do this now, I won't be able to blog post again till the middle of the night, and I don't want to stay up to do my daily blog post for tomorrow.

I'm blog posting now.

---

So my real point of this blog post.  I have signed up for this gas station application, and as a reward for signing up, I can fill up my tank for 25 cents off for my first five fill-ups (although I have to use them all 90 days after I sign up).  Obviously I need to use this seeing as gas is more than four bucks per gallon right now.  But I want to maximize each fill-up.  This discount is good for up to 25 gallons, I think, and my tank gets only ten, so I'm already not maximizing my discount that way.  But I don't want to just fill up when I'm only half-empty.  So this has become a game whereby I bring down my gas tank as much as possible so that I make as much of my discount as I can.

That has meant that I am driving my car to the point where I have no bars on my gas meter.  I know I shouldn't freak out when I see both that and the orange low gas indicator, but I feel like if I dance with the devil one too many times, it's going to get me.  So it got that low when I was driving last/Saturday night.  (It seems I'm going through gas a lot faster than I'm used to; maybe I'll blog post about that some other time.)  I knew I didn't want to drive anywhere today/Sunday, and also that I will be seeing ******a at My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Edition) Tuesday, so I know I will need gas then, so I wanted to thread the needle and gas up after work tomorrow/Monday.  But I needed to last till then, so I went to a gas station to put in just a tad, just a sip, that would be enough for me not to get a heart attack from running out of gas as I drove to and from work tomorrow/Monday.

I thought two bucks was enough.  That's half a gallon, but that should get me at least 15 miles, which should be more than enough.  However, I also was expecting to see one bar pop up on my dashboard.  It didn't, and that freaks me the hell out.

So even though I should hold my piss, the plan is to go to the gas station in the morning, before work.  I might as well use the time to get lottery tickets for Father, too, and shoot, I'll get coffee for myself as well.  This is all assuming I will want to get out of the house with enough time so that I can do all this and not be late for work, but that might be a tall order.

Maybe I'm just freaking myself out over running out of gas.  Or, I'm going to stall out tomorrow.

Spit On My Scarf

I was going to the the MNUFC Match yesterday/Saturday afternoon.  I still love autumn, but the colder weather is stuffing up my nose, and so I am spitting up more often.  I know it's a bad-looking habit, but I still spit on the ground, and I really had to spit because my nose was all stuffed up.

I found a sewer grate (I try and aim my spit through the grates; I usually fail) and was about to spit.  I still love autumn, but I notice that it often gets windy this season.  So I spit onto the grate just as the wind picks up and picks up one end of the scarf I was wearing, and goddammit, I spit onto my scarf.  First time I've ever done that.

I tried dabbing it with tissues and towels, but I now have to clean it to get my spit out, ick.  And that means I need to figure out if I can machine-wash the scarf.  If not, I'll have to learn how to hand-wash these things.  I want to start cleaning my ballcaps, so I'm glad that I just bought a stain brush and a mesh bag for laundry in case that's the only way I should clean my scarf.  Right now, I feel an intense urge to wash that thing to get the spit out of it, but I wonder if that urge will dissipate after those items are delivered.  Regardless -- fucking itck, spit on my scarf. ...  Shit, why didn't I hold the ends of my scarf down to make sure I don't spit onto it?!

Would You Go To A Concert For Just One Song?

Have I talked about going to concerts to see an artist or band only because I want to hear that one song I like from him/her/them?  I'm doing it tonight/Saturday night for Digable Planets, whose "Rebirth of Slick (Cool Like Dat)" remains one of the most distinctive rap hits ever.  But like many artists/bands I'm framing in this argument, that's the only song I like.  In fact, with Digable Planets, it's the only song I know.

Yet is it worth it, under those circumstances, to pay $60 for a ticket -- just to hear that one song you love played live?  Obviously, since I bought the ticket, the answer, at least for right now, is yes.  Because I have said no to other artists because the price was too high -- Steve Lacy ("Playground," which, according to Setlist.fm, he's not playing in his shows) recently, and Cowboy Junkies (their legendary cover of "Sweet Jane," although "Common Disaster" is also a very good song of theirs) last year I think.  I can justify sixty bucks for one song, and who knows, maybe this is a way to get into their other songs, too.

So I'm going.  My college football team's first bye Week, and I am spending the evening going out instead of staying in and watching sports.  Oh, well.

Black Used Toothpaste, Ick

I was having trouble finding something quick to blog post about, and then I remembered I wanted to talk about something that happened to me last week.

Last week I brushed my teeth.  Admittedly, it had been some time since the last time I brushed my teeth up to that point.  When I spat out the toothpaste, it was, I kid you not, black.  Maybe not pitch black, but it was noticeably dark, man, so dark that I stared at spent toothpaste more than you usually would.  Then and there, I resolved to brush my teeth more.

And then I broke that promise to myself because I don't think I've brushed my teeth with any more frequency than I did before.

I brushed my teeth just now.  However, what I spat out wasn't anywhere close be being black, thank God.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Vikings (Last Week: -1).  Another impressive defensive and special teams outing Sunday to defeat the Saints in New Orleans ... and this time, there is enough offensive firepower -- mostly thanks to the arm and legs of Kyler Murray and the continued rugged running by Aaron Jones, Sr. -- to make me believe there can be balance with this team.  And they remain undefeated at 5-0, so I think they've earned the right to be above negative numbers.

There are two other undefeated clubs, The Bastard Dallas Texans (who did not play last weekend and so they're 4-0) and San Francisco.  The 49ers and Vikings are slated to play in Week 11.  It's a Sunday Night Football Game.  And it'll be played in Mexico City.  If they can remain undefeated till then, damn, watch out.  In the meantime, they're enjoying their bye Week; they'll host The Bastard Baltimore Colts on the 25th.

#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -5).  Road victories are always good, and this team got a pair over middling Rutgers Friday evening and Ohio St. Sunday afternoon.  However, they dropped a Set to the Scarlet Knights.  Gopher clubs in the past would've made this two sweeps.  An armchair bracketologist has the U. pegged as a seven-Seed for the NCAAs.

Back-to-back home Games against Michigan and Maryland tomorrow/Friday and Saturday night.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2).  Swept their East/West Showcase over the weekend -- 4-0 over Maine Friday, 4-2 over in-conference school Bemidji St. Sunday afternoon.  Still, isn't it weird that the Head Coach demands that he has his nickname listed in his bio -- and that his nickname is "Boom?"  Well, "Boom" now gets a chance to test his mettle.  Ohio St., currently the top-ranked team in the nation, comes to town for a pair of contests tomorrow/Friday night and Saturday afternon.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -4).  Lost at Tampa Bay, had strong Wins at Florida and home vs. (Las) Vegas, then had a Game at The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers get away from them to a 5-2 score.  I don't have anything else to say about this club beyond that.  The Week is calming down, relatively, with three contests: Home to St. Louis and Columbus, then at Edmonton.

#-4: United FC (Re-Entry!).  I've already told you a way a losing squad can lose my patience is by blowing a lead.  Well, another way to lose my patience (soccer squads only) is to allow Goals when they're down to ten men.

They did the former Saturday night vs. Houston.  They gave up the first Goal in the 18th Minute, but Kelvin Yeboah tied it up in the 48th, then Marcus Caldeira (he's a keeper, and the only Loons player to break through this Year) got them ahead in the 78th ... only for them to cough up two Points in the 92nd fucking Minute.  They still haven't won a league Match at home since May 2.  Then, last/Wednesday night, they were tied at 1 at Colorado when the Rapids' Sayed Abu Farchi, with the help of VAR, was red-carded for slapping Michael Boxall across the face.  (Boxall provoked Farchi into doing it by flipping him over as the two of them were at the sideline fighting for a ball.  Boxy's a dick, but he's our dick ... at least for the rest of the season.)  Conditions were good for MNUFC to get a go-ahead Goal, right?  Nope; the Backline allowed Colorado to score in the 74th to take a 2-1 lead.  But then, ten minutes later, the Match was tied at 2-all.  Note that I didn't say Minnesota United scored.  Instead, the Rapids potted an Own Goal ten Minutes later when Colorado's Loic Williams tried to clear a shot from Yeboah when Yeboah was at the End Line and Williams was in front of his own net; the ball may have had some spin, but Williams muffed it, and the english from the ball scooted it past the Goal Line.  Soccer is a dumb Game, and even though MNUFC did nothing from the Red Card on, they get a Point.

That Point, and the Point they got against Houston, don't fucking matter; they're still next-to-last in the West and are now five Points behind for ninth place.  And they host St. Louis Saturday afternoon.  I couldn't attend the Game against the Dynamo, thank Buddha, but this weekend I have no other plans (well, I could go to a stripper party, but I'll pass), so I'm using the money I've spent and going to this one, and considering how St. Louis City is scoring and winning seemingly at will right now (until last/Wednesday night's scoreless draw at home versus Vancouver in a showdown between The Western Conference's two-best teams, St. Louis had netted at least three Goals in their previous five tilts), this could get very, very ugly very, very quickly.

#-5: Gopher football (Last Week: 0).  They're not at the bottom of this Week's WMNSS (I had trouble deciding, so I feel back on one Game vs. two), but the most disappointing Loss I've seen in a while has to belong to the U. gridironers losing at moribund Purdue.  The Boilermakers suck, and yet this was an ass-kicking by the tune of 41-13.  They had so much goodwill and momentum after winning at Washington and making the most of Michigan's miscues in reclaiming The Little Brown Jug.  I really thought P. J. Fleck had a program where they wouldn't lose to teams clearly beneath them.  Guess not.  And to completely no-show is just inexplicable.  Is this club's motivation dependent on the opponent?  If so, is hosting Iowa for Floyd Of Rosedale next Saturday (coincidentally, both the Vikings and the Gopher football team have the same bye Week in 2026) going to get their attention?

#-6: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -3).  Granted, the XI faced a pair of Top 10 squads this past screening Week, so the damage may not be as bad as I think it is.  Still, they got waxed at second-ranked Michigan St. 4-0 last Thursday and dominated by then-sixth-ranked Ohio St. at Robbie 2-0 Sunday afternoon.  They may still be in the tournament conversation, but it didn't help that they got shut out last Week, so getting right at Wisconsin Sunday afternoon would not be a bad thing.

One Downside To The Fall: Being Late For Work

The leaves are starting to turn around town, and it's gorgeous, obviously.  All the yellows, browns and reds dot the landscape wherever I walk or drive.  Add that yesterday/Tuesday was almost totally a cloudy day and was just above 60, and that is how I want to the weather to be every day for the rest of my days.

I subscribe to Racket, the online Twin Cities alternative created by four writers formerly of City Pages.  A couple weeks ago, as part of their "Friday Open Thread" prompt, they asked readers to rank the seasons.  I think it's unanimous that we all said autumn's #1.  It dawned on me, though, that whenever I've seen a rank of seasons (and I think I've seen more than one would estimate), that rank is published around the fall, meaning that the beautiful colors prompt a ranking of the seasons.  I'm fairly certain of that "coincidence."

For all the pros of the fall, I have noticed an annual drawback -- almost without fail, traffic going to work is so bad compared to the summer that I am routinely late for work.  We lay back in the summertime, but once we get past Labor Day it feels as though the entire state starts to get serious again, so everybody's going to work, and at the same time.  Add to it that the Sun is casting its oppressive rays on east-bound traffic around the time I go to work, and it's a massive challenge to get to work on-time.  I have been tardy a few times the past couple weeks and flat-out late a couple times in that same period.  That includes yesterday/Tuesday morning.  It doesn't help that the cold weather disincentivizes me to bolt out of bed and begin getting dressed.  But yesterday there was a huge car crash that happened right in front of me.  The two-lane I was on is busy that time of day, of course, so it took me several minutes before I found a gap in the traffic so I could get around what I found out was a three-car accident.

This should prompt an adjustment to me getting out of the house.  But like I said, it feels so much better to stay in bed.  Yep, the turndown in temperature is conducive to staying in my pajamas and underneath my sheets.  So, not only does that make it harder for me to get to work on-time, it makes me more likely not to care that I'm not at work on-time.

Should go to bed now.  Maybe getting more sleep will get me up early in the morn.

Addendum To: No One Tells Me Anything

Oh yeah, I wasn't told that someone was going to drop by and plop a new tree in the front yard, either!  I talked to the Head of Forestry for my city (yes, my city has a Head of Forestry) because I was curious as to what kind of species this tree is.  I left a message when I called the city on Friday; I got a return voicemail at work yesterday/Monday, and I left a VM, and he called back.  Before he told me what tree he selected for our residence, he told me that we should've gotten a letter saying that a tree was going to be planted soon.  Nope, I didn't get a letter.  Now, I did get a letter earlier this year saying, albeit after the fact, that they removed the stump from the old tree that they removed around the holidays and that it was our responsibility to water the grass seeds they put in place of the stump (I didn't do that; I might blog post about why some other time).  But like I said, even though the markings of gas and water lines should have tipped me off, the city did not warn me ahead of time that they were planting a tree.

Yep, no one tells me anything.  That makes me scared that my parents will come home, again, and not tell me beforehand.

No One Tells Me Anything

I woke up on my own accord Friday morning anticipating the sprinkler guy to come.  Frankly, I couldn't begin my day off from work until he came over to winterize the system.  I was getting antsy, but I took the time in the morning to water the plants and work on stuff on my computer.  Then, as it got to the late morning, I figured I could give the tree that magically appeared in the front yard that morning some more water beyond what is encased in that plastic bag around the 8' tree.

It was a bit past 11:30, when I put the sprinkler system through its third cycle of watering that tree, that I suddenly heard the doorbell ring followed immediately by banging on the door.  It was the sprinkler guy.  Not of fan of how he announced he was here, but considering he was courteous yet fast, and that he recommended I trade in the old backflow plug for a new one made of brass, I can't complain.  I was on my way half past noon.

The only lingering issue I have is something I have asked the sprinkler company every year I call in and pay for the winterization.  I always ask that the driver call or text me ahead of time.  That way I, at the very least, will be awake for when he comes.  That courtesy isn't always given, and this dude didn't do it either, or else I wouldn't have had the sprinkler system on when he got here.

A bit later in the day I realized that fit a pattern.  The sprinkler guy didn't tell me he was coming before he did, like I asked.  The previous day, the inspector climbed on top of the house even though I told the roofer I was going to come home to open the side door for him.  And of course there's Mother, who told me that the inspector was coming less than one day before.  No one tells me anything, or at least won't tell me anything till the last minute, well past any time I could prepare for it.  And I fucking hate that.  I mean, what the hell is wrong with letting me prepare, goddammit?  (sigh)

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

There is an urban walking street festival series called Open Streets that has held a few events every year for the past several.  One street in one neighborhood is closed down -- no car traffic, just walkers only, and there are food trucks and music and local stores offering their wares.  I've been to these and they're great -- I get to walk while exploring a neighborhood I might not be familiar with.  But mostly due to conflicts, I haven't been to one in a couple years.

I only knew, or remembered, there is an Open Streets event today because someone skeeted it on Bluesky.  It's going on right now as I blog post this.  It's Hennepin Avenue, a place I've been to, though not lately.  And I want to go ... but.  First of all, I planned this to be a no-money day, and if I'm going to do Open Streets, I will buy something to eat.  Second of all, while I love South Minneapolis, I didn't plan on using my good car and drive down there.  Gas is more than four bucks a gallon!  (Thanks, you installed cheat.)  And finally, while I like it, I don't think I've gone to any Open Streets events in the fall because of football.  And the Vikings are playing right now, and they might be good.

So now the pros to going.  It's supposed to be a no-money day, but I did plan on going out -- tonight to the gym.  Is it that big of a leap to go out and enjoy myself?  Also, it's a hot day -- it's already 80 as I type this, and it'll reach the mid-80's before Open Streets ends.  It would make sense to be outside, right?

Well, I doubt I'm going, I'm afraid.  I have leftovers to eat, plus I should wash dishes and, if I have the energy, do the laundry.  I'll go out to work out -- maybe.  And Open Streets, by the way, ends at 5.  If I wanted to put in a solid day at Hennepin Ave., I probably should leave now.  Eh, I'll just watch football instead.

Sorry to answer my subject line.  I didn't think I would decide to stay when I started this blog post.  So I'm going to embed The Clash, OK?

Changing My Whole Day So Some Dude Could Climb On My House

OK, so this blog post is so sprawling I might not be able to gather all my thoughts, so this could go several places.  I just hope to remember what happened when. ...

On Wednesday, after I helped Mother with getting insurance information, she told me that she had arranged for an inspector to look at the roof, siding and gutters ... the next day.  She asked me to unlock the side door (but put the recycling bin behind it -- you know, to keep it "shut") so he and the second roofer we spoke to could inspect everything.  Mother knew I was working then, but thought nothing of having some fucking stranger climb on top of and meander behind our property without me or her or Father being there to see him.  And she said all this shit would happen the next afternoon.

This pissed me off to no end.  But there are two dimensions to my pissed-off-ness.  There is, of course, the idea that I, or she, would let anyone look at our house, our home, our sacred castle, without us there.  What I have just realized, however, that I am a bit more upset that, once again, she has sprung one of her hare-brained ideas on me without telling me, without giving me any time to process it, and without having my say as to whether it's a good idea or not -- again.  She once again just went through on her fucking bullshit flights of fancy, and she just goddamn assumed I'd be OK with it.  I don't care that she felt like I didn't have to do anything more than unlock a door.  If someone sees that door open, I have to deal with that fucker breaking into the house, not her.  But she didn't give a flying shit.

Having to catch this hot potato of news, I (once again) wasn't as clever on my feet as I should have been.  I told her that this was a bad idea, having some guy crawl around the home without me there, and once again, fuckin' A, My Fucking Mother retreated back into defensive mode.  "What do you want to do then?" she asked, without realizing for one goddamn second that this was all my parents' idea.  "I am the one who has to come up with ideas!"  Ideas for what?  Who said that the roof and siding and gutters needed repairing??  She acts like something hard and unavoidable has fallen into her lap when she's the one telling me what the fuck's going on ... and telling me poorly, by the way.

---

Going to bed (well, after going to this volunteer event and then getting an HJ by ******a -- man, did I need that!), I thought I had no choice but to do what she says.  I swore that I had told Mother that I had Friday off, and that was the perfect time for them to come over.  I didn't think when she dropped this fuckin' bomb on me to remind her in case she forgot -- thank Buddha for ******a; she thought saying that to her would be a way to draw boundaries that obviously aren't there right now -- but I figured it was too late.  But I live in this house, and right now, I am the only person who lives in this house.  It does not sit right with me to unlock a door that is always secured when I leave so some stranger can come look, even if everyone else says it's OK, because it's not OK with me.  It doesn't matter that I live in a good neighborhood; I should not and will not leave my house unlocked.

So I woke up and decided that I would ask/tell my boss I have to take an extended lunch break to go home and oversee whatever it is this inspector wants to look at.  I didn't want to do that to my boss, but My Fucking Mother left me with no goddamn choice.  And even though I'm sure My Fucking Mother told the roofer that the side door was not going to be locked, I texted her in the morning that it would be locked and that I would come home to unlock it.  Once again, I have to make room for My Fucking Mother's whims and demands, but now I had some control in how it was going to happen.

---

Or so I thought.  I went home earlier than planned in case the inspector got there early.  And by God, he was there earlier than me.  I went home to see some dude on top of the house with a ladder.  I took umbrage at that, so I parked my car, looked up at him and said, "Who are you?"  He was the inspector, of course, and he was there to look at the roof.  And I think I said some other things that conveyed how upset I was that he was on my house when I wasn't there.

I saw the roofer talking on the phone next to her car parked a ways from in front of my house.  She was talking a mile a minute about our homeowner's policy, but I didn't care about that.  I cared about why in the hell this guy was lording over my house when I told her that I was coming over to oversee everything.  She told me that she just got there and that the inspector was parked.  She said that the inspector thought that he could start his inspection as soon as she (the roofer) got there because he was told that the only person supervising the property would be her.  So, once she got on site, he thought he was good to go, locked side door be damned.  Maybe she should have told him to wait until I got there, but My Fucking Mother apparently got into the middle of this arrangement too and ... ah, fuck it, I don't know what else was said.  There was no need for me to continue to be angry at some guy who didn't seem to deserve it.  He even said that he thought he got the go-ahead as soon as the roofer drove up.  Also, he says that he climbs on roofs all the time without the homeowner or anyone living the house there.  Is that true?  That sounds reckless to me.  Whatever; I opened the side door once I got there, and I saw him, well, inspect and leave.

---

So he's supposed to whip up a report that he's going to give to the insurance company since we (well, Mother) made a claim.  The insurance company will give it to us and, if we want to go ahead with repairs, we can send that report to the roofer.  However, the roofer is now pooh-poohing our chances of justifying any repairs or replacement.  She understands our policy better than we do, and it looks like our deductible is too high and that we don't have enough of the components (?) that would induce the insurance company to pay for most of any repairs.  My Fucking Mother asked me later Thursday evening what to do.  Once again, she's throwing on my lap some lame-brained fantasy she cooked up in her own goddamn head.  I don't know.  Maybe as the person who technically owns the home, maybe I should know.  But right now, I'm still too pissed at my narcissist mommy to set my anger aside and make the most out of her scheme.

But back to my original point.  No harm, no foul on leaving work for more than half an hour; there was such light work that, even if I had a normal half-hour break, there wouldn't have been enough work for me to stay eight hours.  Still, all of this would have gone much smoother if the inspector came Friday.  I was home and the person winterizing the sprinkler system would've been there, too.  Kill two birds with one stone, and I wouldn't have had to impose upon my boss to see through some bullshit idea by My Fucking Mother.  God, she sucks.

Missing: My Hawaiian Shirt

I don't know where my alma mater Hawaiian shirt is and it's really frustrating me.  I know I wore it once, a few weeks ago, but I don't know where it is now.  I would like it to wear it because it is really, really hot right now (above 80 degrees as I type this), so a Hawaiian shirt would be the appropriate thing to wear.  But I don't know where it is, dang it.

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: September 2026

A baker's dozen this month, and while I will only point out three (still way too many Hooters women being told to put on a crop top over a bikini top to my liking), those three are way, way above most servers I have pointed out in months past.  In fact, my #1 here may be an all-timer.

In third place is Kianna, coming out of Roswell, Ga.  She is sporting both wavy brown hair and a tiger print two-piece.  She is just about standing straight at the camera, and she's doing that thing where she's pulling up her bikini bottom.  But the most striking thing about her are her impressive abs.  I ... would consent to her do things to me because of her abs.

In second place is, um, Kiana (only one "n"), hailing from Odessa, Fla.  Straight black hair, she is pictured in a pink and deep purple floral two-piece bikini print.  She is sitting poolside, and posing with her right side toward the camera.  She also is slightly pulling her right bikini top.  Not the best pose, but posing almost perpendicular to the camera means we get a shot of her ass ... kinda.  OK, maybe a peep.  See, I can see a smidgen of the top part of the back of her bikini bottom, and from little I can see, it's, well, little enough that I believe that, if we saw her whole ass, we would be able to see, maybe, 80-5% of her ass.  But I'm just extrapolating.  I can't see it.  Now, you may remember that I once had an overriding rule that any Hooters waitress that shows off her ass floats to the top of my list.  You may also remember that I have modified that rule whereby that only holds true if I can actually see that bare ass.  I might be splitting the baby here.  Frankly, I might be giving her too much of the benefit of the doubt.  But the extrapolation alone is enough for me to put her, and her picture, in second place.

In first place is The Main Girl, Camila, of Tucson, Ariz.  She has straight brown hair, and in this photo, it's wet and slicked back.  She's wearing a black two-piece with a sporty bikini top.  She's posing in or next to a shed with a surfboard behind her, and she's grabbing at what looks like an orange on a shelf with another orange just behind the orange she's grabbing at.  It's a weird setting.  But she's posing with her right side at the camera, she's grabbing her bikini bottom with her right hand ... and she's swung her ass enough to the camera that you can clearly see she's wearing a thong.  Her really fine ass is mostly pointing to the left, but you can clearly see both cheeks, and nearly all of her ass is exposed for the world to see.  Goddamn, she's making me hard now. I've been staring at it all month.  I want to take out my hard cock and lance that ass.  Add her come-hither look, and this probably is The Best Picture Of The Hooters Calendar 2026.

So congratulations to Camila, and to the other two girls of September 2026.  I will masturbate furtively to all of you soon.  (Considering how much I love the best picture, why haven't I done it yet?)

I Thought There Were Clever Elves Living In My Front Yard

I'm at home because the water sprinkler person is coming to winterize/close down the sprinkler system for the season.  I got dizzy and therefore went to bed early (at least for me), around 12:30, and I woke up around 5:30 because, in all the drama surrounding the adjuster coming to the house yesterday afternoon (I'll blog post about that, but I thought I was going to blog post about it now), I forgot to turn off my alarm.  Luckily I fell back asleep around, oh, 7 and woke up around 10.

Groggy of course, I go to the bathroom and, of course, I look out to the front yard.  There's a tree.  It's a young one, but it looks about a dozen feet tall.  It's not planted where the previous tree was taken out earlier this year.  But it's there, and I didn't ask for it, and sure as heck no one told me about it.

No one told me about a utility company marking down water and gas lines in my front yard with paint, either, but I saw those over the past couple weeks or so, too.  I didn't have time to check with the city about the painted markings, but now, with a day off and some darn tree in my front yard, it was time.  So I called the city and, yes, they knew about it.  It was their plan to plant the tree, and since it involves digging a hole, the utility had to come out and mark where the gas and water lines are.

Ah, so I see.  One thing that gives me pause, though, and I guess I should have been more cognizant about this when people stepped onto the front yard to remove the old, diseased ash tree.  The person I spoke to at the city said that they can plant (and, theoretically, remove) trees because it's a "boulevard" tree ... and the front yard is city property.  Wait -- my front yard is city property?  So why in the hell am I mowing it half a dozen times a year?  If it's not my property (and I don't know how it could be my property if it's city property), why in the hell isn't the city coming over to mow the lawn?

Feh.  I'm trying to make lemonade out of lemons; I asked what kind of tree it is.  I had thought that if we wanted a replacement tree for the front yard, we had to buy it and plant it.  So I had gone down a rabbit hole of trees that are good to plant in our climate, like this page.  I had dreams about what trees I wanted in the front yard, but the city obviously has other plans.  The city's supposed to get back to me.  Hopefully the tree up front is a hardy, Upper Midwest tree and not one that will get emerald ash borer.  

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Gopher football (Last Week: 0).  Urban Meyer noted that these back-to-back Wins by the Gopher footballers may be the most impressive of ... did he say the P. J. Fleck era?  If so, he can't be wrong.  Oh, sure, Michigan has an anemic Offense and, IMHO, that handed the Gophers the victory.  But you have to admit that you would think that previous U. football clubs would lose to the Wolverines.  These guys didn't.  In fact, they came back to defeat Michigan, with the help of 13 Points off a trio of inexplicable Wolverine Turnovers.

I was on the field working the Game Saturday.  Around Halftime it didn't feel as though the Gophers were capable of getting back into it, let alone winning it.  But somehow, they won The Little Brown Jug for the first time since 2014 and won it at home for the first time since 1977.  I could sense that the crowd was ready to storm the field when victory was at hand.  And when it did happen, all I could do is swing around and see the youth of Minnesota jump out of their chairs and bleachers and take to the field.  And all I could think was, "Be young.  Have fun."

And this Saturday they travel to Purdue, who truly sucks.  This probably is going to be an impressive three-Game winning streak the Gophers will have.

#-1: Vikings (Last Week: -1).  I'm sounding like a broken record, but the Vikings' Defense (and Special Teams) is carrying the Offense right now.  That one-sidedness works in beating (barely) a winless Miami Dolphins squad whose Quarterback, Malik Willis, goes 0-for-4 passing on Third Down.  But besides T. J. Hockenson, who had a monster day (13 Catches on 13 Targets for 119 Yards), there is still something painfully wrong on that side of the ball.  And it looks as though that pains Head Coach Kevin O'Connell, who knows his forte needs to start doing their fare share. On the other hand, it's possible the Vikings can beat the Saints in New Orleans Sunday just by kicking Field Goals again, and so they would enter the bye Week a perfect 5-0.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (NEW SEASON!).  Started the season sweeping Bemidji St. at Bemidji.  All well and good, but like I always say, the only Games that matter to this program are the ones vs. Wisconsin and Ohio St., who are now a clear tier (maybe two) better than the U.  How will/could that decrease in stature change now they're under the direction of a Head Coach who insists on putting his nickname in his online bio?  (Seriously, he's listed as "Greg 'Boom' May."  Isn't that ... weird?)

The U. hosts something called The East/West Showcase.  Interesting -- they play Maine at Ridder Friday evening and ... Bemidji St. again Sunday afternoon?!?!  The fuck kind of schedule is this?!?!?!

#-3: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -2).  This XI's only meaningful action came Friday, when they dominated Maryland, 4-0.  But they have a herculean task ahead of them this Week.  They visit second-ranked Michigan tonight/Thursday night, and then they host current #6 Ohio St. Sunday afternoon.  It looks like they're playing well enough to get on the good side of the bubble.  They'll get pushed off that bubble if they lose both Matches, of course, but if they can draw or even win one of these ... well. ...

#-4: Wild (NEW SEASON!).  The drama surrounding this anonymous team that many consider a dark horse candidate to win The Stanley Cup is all due to Quinn Hughes, last Year's big acquisition and arguably a Top Ten player in the NHL, beginning the season without signing an extension.  Hughes has been quite coy as to why that's the case.  Meanwhile, fans are shitting bricks wondering if he wants out and, if so, can General Manager Bill Guerin get even 50 cents on the dollar to flip Hughes.  This will be a pain-in-the-ass as long as Hughes doesn't sign.

And yet the Wild won their first two Games of the season, 3-1 in Nashville and then 4-1 in their home opener versus Boston.  But then they blew a two-Goal lead and lost in Overtime to Buffalo.  OK, so the Mild aren't going 84 (?)-0.  But they so far look good considering the Hughes Sword of Damocles and the long-term injury to Defenseman Brock Faber after taking a puck to the face.

Very busy screening Week ahead -- at both Florida schools, then they host (Las) Vegas Monday night, then they travel up north to face The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers.

#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3).  Swept Northwestern Thursday but lost in four Sets to Wisconsin.  Both Games were at home.  And I can remember not too long ago that the sixth-ranked Badgers would come into the Sports Pavilion and piss down their pants.  Those days are long gone.  They travel to Rutgers and Ohio St. this Week.

#-6: Gopher men's hockey (NEW SEASON!).  One of the most storied programs in top-flight men's college hockey started their season getting swept at ranked Michigan Tech.  They were supposed to play Friday, but the ice was so bad that pushed both Matches back to Saturday and Sunday.  Doesn't matter; this is not a promising start for new Head Coach Brett Larson.  They're off for the next Week or so.

#-Infinity: Twins (Re-Entry!).  I'm tired, so all I can say is that, while ownership this season at least tried by trading for some Bullpen arms, the same anonymous fate befell this Year's squad similar to last Year's -- a below .500 Year.  I can't give the Pohlads any credit for saying they tried.  Try harder!!  Succeed, goddammit!!!

The woman who looked at the house Monday texted me at work yesterday saying the claim with the insurance company has been filed.

What does this mean?  I don't know all the ins and outs.  But Mother said, when I spoke to her also on Monday, that if they can get reconstruction on the house going, they'll be flying home to oversee it, probably next month.

Well, on the one hand it sucks that they're not going to just stay away from Minnesota for a whole year even though it's now the coldest time of the year (or at least it should be -- damn you, El Nino).  On the other hand, I don't have time to oversee people re-do the house's roof, siding and gutters.  Plus, this is my parents' idea.  If they want this done, they can come home and watch the house.  In the meantime I need to work ... and then at night go to concerts ... or sporting events (like I did last night -- USMNT beat the Canadians, 1-0!) ... or plays ... or do nothing.

Glad I got that off my chest.

I Am Just Doing This Blog Post To Get Back On Schedule

I'm going to the USMNT-Canada Friendly tonight, so I might be too tired to blog post tonight, so I'm just doing this now.  Alas, I also have a volunteer event tomorrow night, and I might be too tired to blog post once I get back then, but I'll worry about whether I'll have time to blog post tomorrow's blog post tomorrow.  I'm busy and I'm tired, what can I say?

Booty Call Answered

Well, ******a couldn't make it -- crossed wires; she could have stayed in the area, but I didn't know how long I was going to be at work, I realized I could come home at a decent hour and even have the roofer inspect the house, but she was out in the western part of the area -- but I just got money and I wanted to get wanked, so I lit up a solar flare to both *****y first, then ******e.

They both got back to me late.  ******e texted saying she was taking a nap.  That was after *****y got back to me saying she turned her phone off because she was seeing the movie Verity.  I was going to go exercise, but *****y, after checking, made it work, and even though it took a little while for me, she, uh, got me off.  She looked sexy tonight -- tight black dress that hugs her curves and BBL, ponytail, and glasses she kept one while wanking me!

Glad I stayed home!

Another Conflict Preventing Me From Seeing My ATF

My parents now seems hellbent on getting the roof fixed.  Don't know why, but I think tomorrow/Monday, after work, a second person is going to inspect it, and maybe the siding, too.  Look, I don't know the first thing about home insurance, so I'm just going to defer to Father and this roofer and the insurance company (maybe, this is an insurance company after all).  It's yet another thing I've been thrust into "knowing" because Father wants it done.

What I know, and care, about is that it might be cock-blocking me from ******a coming over.  See, this all started late last week, when Mother asked me to call her while I was at work.  Once I got home, I called her, and she told me this second roofer wants to see the roof Saturday morning.  That would've worked until, like, Wednesday, when I picked up a gig at the Gophers football Game.  (Glad I took it, if only to have a great vantage point of the fans storming the field after they beat Michigan at home for the first time since '77.)  Mother gave me the roofer's number to text an alternate day and time.  We agreed on Monday evening, which is a little late considering the time of night the Sun sets nowadays.  But Mother wants this done ASAP, even though I have Friday free.

Once we agreed to Monday, ******a texted me.  She has been busy, plus she is dealing with a bad back that appears to be preventing her from giving me a massage, but out of the blue, she asked me what I was doing ... Monday.  Shit.  I told her what's happening, so right now, I'm going to text her once she's done.  She wasn't totally committing, either, because she doesn't want to come over too late.

There are so many variables to deal with this -- when within the two-hour time period she gave me she can get here, how long she's going to be here, if I can get home earlier than that, etc.  The big wrinkle, in my estimation, is that this roofer is friends with my sister's best friend.  This roofer actually re-did my sister's best friend's roof last year.  In fact, I want to say that my sister's best friend gave Mother the roofer's information.  Well, I think I said this here on WAF before, but my sister's best friend lives down the street from me.  And by the way, the roofer apparently is friends with my sister's best friend.  Now, imagine that once she gets done inspecting the roof, she'll just mosey on down and talk to my sister's best friend for a while.  If they're there talking long enough, maybe they'll notice that someone's dropped by my house for a visit.  And then the roofer (and maybe my sister's best friend -- who knows, maybe she and Mother are besties now) will tell Mother, and then she'll ask, "Who visited you?!?!?!"  Fuck that shit.

So I'm trying to see if the roofer might be able to reschedule.  Mother won't like that she might not come tomorrow/Monday, but I need to get all my muscles worked over (including the one that matters the most, hint-hint), and I want that HE in peace.  Maybe it'll work.  Or, maybe this will be the second time ******a has offered to touch me, only for me to decline because I have plans.  First it was the WNBA Draft (Olivia Miles doesn't look so good now that she was benched for all of the Second Half of Game 2, so me throwing my glasses on the table when she was announced as the pick now seems prescient), and now it's this roof inspection I'm told needs to be done.  Bad timing is so much of my life.

For The First Time In A Long Time, I'm Trying Something New

I will be working a game today, and I will be working as a parabolic microphone holder, or a "parab."  I don't know if you've seen these people holding these clear, curved cups or dishes in front of them, but today, that'll be me.  It is my first time ever being a parab, and it's scaring the hell out of me, but I think that is the definition of "growth," such as it is.

Strange how I got this job.  I've worked this type of production before, but while I knew the company would be in town, they had not said they were hiring until this week, and technically Wednesday, three days before the game.  Then, I was sent an e-mail asking for people who could be parabs and, this is important (at least in my mind), no experience is necessary.  You don't come across opportunities like that too often, especially at my age.  But I wanted to demonstrate I wanted to be a part of this company's production, and the pay is pretty good.  Plus, I need to spread my wings a bit.  I don't work games from the sideline too often, so this will be fun to experience.  Well, until a football player runs into me.  That's what I'm really scared of.

Anyway, I answer this e-mail that I am interested.  I then go through e-mails I received after that ... and that's when I see an offer to work this same production, but in a capacity I've worked at before.  I said yes to this, but the person making hiring decisions texted me and said I'm working the parabolic.  OK, but what about this other job?  I would prefer to continue on a position I've done with these guys before, so now that I'm not, am I showing this production that I'm flexible, or has a door been shut because I go through e-mails in order, answer them one by one, and was pegged to the first job I said yes to?  Because I know there are a few people there I'm familiar with, and it'll be strange to see them where they always are and I am not, and I have no assurances I can go back to my old job ever again.

I get uncomfortable in unfamiliar surroundings, and that's why I'm getting a bit testy.  This will always happen when I go to somewhere new, but I don't know where I'll be today, I don't know who I'll work for, and so I don't know how it'll turn out.  I know how things are with the position I've been at before, but I don't understand how I wasn't even considered to come back.  Because I would have said yes, they just didn't say anything until three days ago.

Well, alas and alack.  I have a few hours before I need to report.  Maybe not the best idea, then, to blog post now, and then eat those leftover mozzarella sticks from Applebee's Thursday night.  (I'm chasing them down with a Coke at 2 in the morning as well.)  But I was crashing around 7 in the evening, so I listened to my body and went to sleep, only to wake up a bit past midnight.  Hopefully I won't be asleep as I stand during the game.  That's a surefire way to be tackled by a football player on the sideline.

So on a whim I went out to Applebee's last/Thursday night for the first time in at least a decade because I want to try their O-M-Cheese, this dish where a burger is cut in half, then the flat side of both halves are sat down in a layer of melted cheese in a skillet alongside a plate of fries.  Very good, but there was Thursday Night Football (Cleveland survived Pittsburgh) and a pair of winner-take-all First Round Game 3's (Atlanta over Philadelphia in baseball, then Las Vegas over Indiana in women's basketball) still to watch, so I ordered a side dish of mozzarella sticks, which were half-off to end the night.  And then a guy from the end of the bar offered me a few mozzarella sticks of his own, to which I wholeheartedly said yes.  And then I thought I could eat all this mozza sticks ... and then my stomach said I couldn't.  So I brought two of the three sticks I was given by this kind strangers home with me.  I said aloud at Applebee's that it's impossible to re-heat mozzarella sticks, and now I am faced with doing such a task.

I can't eat as much as I used to, nor as much as I think I can.  Hate that.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Gopher football (Last Week: -2).  This may be the most impressive victory the Gopher footballers have had under P. J. Fleck since Penn St.  I gave the Gophs pretty much no chance of going into Seattle and beating a Washington club that received a few votes in the polls.  But they raced out to a 21-10 Halftime lead, looked really good while doing it, and then held on to win.  Like I alluded to, when's the last time Fleck and his team upset someone, let alone on the road?  That is why I elevate the U. gridiron boys above both all the other local sports teams and negative numbers.  But can they continue on this run versus a Michigan team run by a legendary Head Coach (Kyle Whittingham) in his first Year.  If there's any season to take down the Wolverines and get The Little Brown Jug (and they're playing at Huntington Bank Stadium), it's this early Saturday afternoon.

#-1: Vikings (Last Week: -1).  I still don't know how they're doing it.  Featuring a Third Quarter that had nine possessions alone, the Vikes managed to go 3-0 after going into Tampa and beating the Buccaneers late Sunday afternoon, 23-16.  Will Reichard should get some lush hosannahs, but right now, the Defense is carrying this team.  Isaiah Rodgers is fast becoming a household name and a highlight reel onto his own, but Dallas Turner may be The Most Improved Player In The NFL.  He seems to "get it" now, and he is developing moves that will terrorize Offensive Lines for years to come.  The only problem is that the Offense still isn't jelling: Kyler Murray, in his first Game back since suffering a concussion in Week 1, went only 15-of-29 for 168 Yards and a sweet Touchdown to Jordan Addison, which is his first TD of the season.

I'm getting paid to watch the Vikes host Miami late Sunday afternoon.  But since this is a Minnesota sports team, if I am a betting man, I would jump on the Dolphins as much as my fear allows.  Fun fact I heard last Week: Miami is the only team in the NFL that has not had a snap in the Red Zone.  That will change Sunday -- mark my words.

#-2: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -5).  Going to the Hoosier State, they beat Indiana Thursday, 2-1, but got blitzed by Purdue, 3-0, where all three Goals were scored over a span of ten Minutes early in the First Half, ouch.  Looking at one women's soccer bracketologist, Minnesota is not projected to be in the NCAA bracket.  But hey, maybe things can change beginning with tomorrow/Friday night's Rock The Robbie! Game vs. Maryland.

#-3: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3).  I'm realizing there's going to be a lot of talk about Head Coaches in this Week's WMNSS.  Let's begin with Keegan Cook, whose Minnesota volleyballers started B1G play with a pair of four-Set defeats, at Illinois Thursday and home to ranked Oregon Saturday.  That has prompted a few volleyball diehards on a sports chatroom to begin the death watch on Cook.  And frankly, I can't blame them; Cook has been very underwhelming.  This Week they're home to host Northwestern tonight/Thursday night and sixth-ranked Wisconsin early Sunday evening.

#-4: United FC (Last Week: -7).  With a 3-1 Loss to Seattle, that's now five Losses in a row for the Loooooooooons, and they now sit next-to-last in the West, six Points behind the final playoff spot.  It's sad and maddening to see this XI rack up the defeats, and only now (IMHO) have they started to look like they're giving up.

And yet ... I got kind of into it on Bluesky over whether Cameron Knowles should continue to lead this squad.  I mean, some people think he should be fired right now.  I'm in the no camp.  MNUFC is trending in the wrong direction, no doubt.  But I believe the big problem is talent acquisition.  They lost or let go of four players (Dayne St. Clair, Robin Lod, Joseph Rosales and Hassan Dotson who, by the way, scored the Game-winning Goal in the Sounders' Win over the Loooooooooons) before the season started and haven't really bought someone who could link up play in the offensive third or finish (and no, James Rodriguez doesn't count, even though I bought his Colombia jersey, sue me).  While some see players not developing under Knowles' reign, I see guys who aren't up to snuff.  Now, I will say that their competence on Set Pieces is something that's gone missing.  But I'm pinning this lost season on the Front Office, not the Manager.  Besides, teams change Head Coaches too often in international soccer.  Oh, and finally, I heard Knowles is a nice guy off the pitch.

Off till the 10th, when they face Houston at Allianz.  So glad I have a conflict.

#-Infinity: Lynx (Last Week: -4).  I, I, I ... can't with this team.  I hope to God I'm not harder on the Jynx than I am with any other local sports team because of my misogyny.  (Wish I had a stable mother.)  Because, goddammit, fuck this team.  This year they had all the goddamn excuses at the ready as to why they became the first #1 seed to lose in the First Round of the WNBA Playoffs: The Liberty had a lot of Wins for an 8-Seed, New York has championship mettle, Olivia Miles is a rookie, Napheesa Collier still needed time to round into shape (I thought she already fuckin' did that), the refs fucked 'em ... blah-blah-blah, not only did they lost, not only did they get swept, they were completely uncompetitive in either Loss.  You can't just insult them merely asking in jest which team is actually the 1-Seed and which the #8; the Jynx looked like The Worst Team In The WNBA who miraculously stumbled into the postseason like Forest Gump.

I keep thinking about this, and I've come around to a change that I didn't think is possible and one I think many Jynx fans will regard as blasphemy: Cheryl Reeve needs to go.  I don't like it, and I am sure that she is a good person whose morals I love.  But shit, man, that team should have the past three league titles, and yet they are still without a championship since 2017.  And beyond the ritual humiliation that happened these past two Games were the strange moves and comments by Reeve after it.  The size the Liberty threw on the court completely locked down the Jynx, and Olivia Miles, who was just named Rookie Of The Year, has seen that achievement immediately tarnished when she was benched for the entire Second Half of Game 2, and that was after her shitty showing in Game 1.  And then Reeve said that the Jynx, who led wire-to-wire in the W, wasn't supposed to win the title this Year?  And then she says that she feels no pressure because she's a Hall Of Fame Coach??  Did she really say that???  Are you fucking kidding me???  That may be her trying to defend her players or deflect from a colossal failure, but this team has in fact retreated from a WNBA title stage by stage, from the WNBA Finals to the Semifinals to the Quarterfinals.  This franchise is going backwards, and Reeve, as Head Coach and General Manager, has to be held accountable.  Sorry not sorry.

This may be my emotions talking, but fuck it -- blow up this team.  Collier's a Free Agent, and since she's coming off a disastrous last month of play, she can chase that paper elsewhere.  Miles, for all her preternatural talent and success, still needs to bone up on Defense and learn how to get around bigger players.  And fuck it, get bigger!  I don't care if this means wasting two or three Years of Miles' career; it's time to turn the page, let go of Reeve's favorite players (alongside Reeve), and get a Coach and a roster hungry to win.  There's something that has ossified behind the scenes with this organization.  I thought that a championship or two or three would mean that putting up with that rot was worth it, but it has only turned the Jynx into The Buffalo Bills of the W.  Start the fuck over with this sorry-ass team.

The Mailing Tabs Saga Is Over (With A Twist)!!!

Well, at least Federal Express did its job.  Exceeded it, actually; while at work yesterday/Tuesday, Mother texted me saying she got the second tab from me.  Thank goodness.  Now maybe she can't get off my back.

But here's the thing.  She got the FedEx package at 11:06 a.m. their time -- a hell of a lot sooner than the 5 p.m. deadline I was given when I sent the second tab Monday evening, so kudos to them.  But at 11:57 a.m. their time, the first tab I sent through the United States Postal Service arrived.  It was almost four goddamn days late, but it arrived.  So I wanted to send one tab, for a whole weekend and then some Mother fucking freaked out because she had zero tabs, and now she has two/both.  Fuck us.

In the morning I will make one final journey out to the downtown post office, this time to get the refund I deserve.  They guaranteed the first tab would get there Friday evening, and it didn't, and the guy told me Monday morning I'm entitled to a refund, so that's what I'm going to do.  Damn, if this Republican government wants to break the government in order for the people to believe the government can't do anything so that services get privatized so that Republicans can get even more money ... well, they're doing too fucking good of a goddamn job.

When Will This Mailing Tabs Saga End??

So before work yesterday/Monday morning I go back downtown to the post office, which was where I mailed my parents' tabs.  It was supposed to be in their hands Friday evening, but according to the website, the last known location was St. Paul Thursday evening.  I was hoping that the postal worker could bring up more information beyond what I found punching in the tracking number onto a website, but it doesn't look like he did/could.

It was the right thing to do, going to the post office, but I would be lying if I wasn't badgered into doing it by Mother.  When she recommended going in the morning, she wanted me to call her.  It was around 5:30 a.m. her time, but, well, my parents are fucking crazy like that, waking up in the morning.  She was her usual panicky, overbearing self when I broke the news that there was no new news.  So she wanted to go to Plan B.  We get two tabs when we renew, but in Nevada you need only one license plate, so you need only tab.  Mother told me to send her only one tab for situations just like this, where the other gets lost in the mail.  That happened, so now she wanted me to send the other one -- but to Federal Express, not USPS.  Logical.

She wanted me to do this as soon as possible.  I thought to hell with that, and I told her I would go as soon as my workday was done, and no sooner.  I even turned off my phone from time to time at work because I didn't want her bothering me.  To be fair, she didn't call, and it just so happened that I got out of work at a decent time, so I went home to grab the tab, then go to FedEx.  (This is where I confess that I lied to Mother; when she asked me if I brought the tab I have to the Post Office, like she said she told me to do [and she did], I said yes when I knew I left it at home.  So glad I had time to go home, then go to Federal Express.)  Unfortunately, the cutoff time for packages to be sent overnight was five minutes after I got there.  However, I was directed to another FedEx place south of this location which has a later cutoff.  I went home, changed vehicles (I drove the minivan to the first Federal Express), kept my tab on me, and drove.

I made the mistake of calling Mother, which she wanted me to do when I was calling her from the first FedEx), when I was at this second FedEx.  She was telling me to do things with the tab that were obvious.  She was talking my ear off because she's anxious/upset she hasn't gotten the first tab I sent her.  So when I got to the front of the line, I hung up on her.

So for about $40 Federal Express says they will send it overnight, and it'll be in my parents' hands by 5 p.m. this/Tuesday evening.  Hope so.  Anyway, this fuck-up once again brings out the bitchiest in My Fucking Mother, which I abhor.  Saying that, none of this would have happened if the USPS just overnighted my package to my parents like they promised they would, and like I paid for.

I've lodged complaints.  Someone apparently from a post office in Las Vegas left me a message in response.  I'll hopefully hear from this person tomorrow, because I want this goddamn saga to end now.

And The Goddamn Motherfucking Pipe Is Leaking Again

So I blog posted about a leak in a pipe that happened the motherfucking day after my parents left town.  I don't know if I blog posted this, but a day or two later (I think) I tightened it up to the point where it didn't leak.  What a relief.  Heck, I felt like a man who could hold it down.

It was so "good" that I didn't bother looking at the plastic ice cream bucket below the clamp where the leak was for weeks.  Why?  If there is no reason to worry, I am free, you know?  Well, yesterday/Sunday I thought it was time to check, just in case, and goddammit, there was a small collection of water.  The bucket wasn't overflowing, thank Buddha, but if I had left it till, oh, Thanksgiving, maybe.

So I dumped out the water and looked at the clamp, and goddammit, the clamp is now dripping water.  All I could do -- all I want to do right now -- is tighten the screw some more.  My paranoid ass has checked it several times since, and it looks as though it is still dripping, but by an amount that appears livable ... maybe.  Shit, man, I don't know if homeowners just live with pipe leaks like this.  Besides, there was no leak for more than nine months.  I want that, not dealing with this bullshit.  And I'm afraid that if I try to tighten it more, I'll break the clamp and water would be shooting out from everywhere.

Why can't I have pipes that just don't leak?  Is that fucking too much to ask?

I'm so scared.

This Fucking Overnight Mail

The drama surrounding my parents' tab is not done yet, goddammit.  It hasn't been delivered yet.  I sent it Thursday morning, the guy said it'll be delivered by Friday evening, and it's now Sunday afternoon, and it hasn't been delivered yet.  Checking the USPS website, the last known sighting of this package was that it was sent to St. Paul Thursday evening.  And that's it.

I spent 40 fucking dollars to get this delivered in 1 1/2 days.  It's probably this fucker Louis DeJoy's doing, and this installed Republican government won't do a goddamn thing about it.

Mother was her usual panicking, bitchy self over this.  Last night she called me and demanded the tracking number so she can go to the website, put in the tracking number, and see the same fucking thing I see.  She then said I should've told her I was going to overnight this because then she would tell me how to send it through Federal Express.  Yeah, sure she would do that.  That bitch is only saying that because the fucking Post Office hasn't done its job.

I don't want to talk more about this, this is so fuckin' infurating.

Every local team losing on the same day, like yesterday/Saturday, sucks, but I'm Minnesotan, so I'm unfortunately used to it.  But when you add my alma mater losing an eminently winnable Game on top of that -- fucking sucks.  Like I may have said here before, don't ever become a sports fan.  All that will happen is you will have your heart broken and your guts ripped out of your body, and when you realize you're looking forward to that shit happening to you again, you'll know you're a goddamn sucker.

Is That You?

So I picked up my dry cleaning after work yesterday/Friday.  Not at first, but the face of the woman who got my suit and white shirts seemed familiar.  I didn't know from where, but considering my, um, hobby, I knew that if a face looks familiar but I don't know how, I should just keep my mouth closed and leave.

I think it was while I was driving to my next destination, Target, that I think I know where I might have seen her: My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition), God bless it.  I think she stripped there.  She wasn't, or isn't, one of these girls who works parties.  In fact, she was as by-the-book as you can while she worked there.  But she is, or was, hot, cute, smart, and easy to talk to.  All I remember from her is that she said she had a receptionist job downtown.  That obviously is a long, long time ago.  I haven't seen her, assuming it is her, since the club closed just before the pandemic.  But hey, maybe she now works for the dry cleaner ... which gives me more reason to dry clean more clothes there!

Mother Sounded Crazy, Was Right

I continue to love Mother, but when I have to talk to her on the phone for more than five minutes, she gives me a goddamn headache.

Such was the case Wednesday night.  She asked me I didn't ask the DMV about getting her tabs.  I told her if I saw a bill from the DMV about tabs, I would've told her.  Here's the thing: My parents' tabs expired in June.  And neither of my parental units noticed until fucking Wednesday.  Can you believe it?  And My Fucking Mother has the balls to blame me.  This is why I don't have kids.

OK, so she asks me to e-mail the DMV.  She then says some bullshit about being able to buy tabs at yellow kiosk in this chain of grocery store.  I hear her squawk about this and I think she's starting to have dementia.  I mean, I have seen kiosks at this grocery store make keys (which I guess is kind of weird in and of itself), but creating tabs that you can stick on your license plate?  Get outta here with that bullshit, Mom, I'm going to see a play (narrator: Unforgivable Wetness did not go see a play because he thought it started at 7:30 when it actually began at 7, so he decided to have dinner at the acclaimed restaurant in The Four Seasons instead).

I went to the grocery store after having that leisurely dinner.  (Father calling me twice while I was there spurred me on, unfortunately.)  And I'll be goddamned ... there it is, a kiosk that prints out tabs.  I brought the car's information with me, and after five minutes and the tap of my credit card, out came tabs that we should have gotten almost four months ago.  No, Mother wasn't crazy.  She was right, and I told her that.  And then, luckily, I haven't had to talk to her since.  Let's keep that going; my head hurts less right now.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Vikings (Last Week: -1).  I go back and forth on how much Sunday's Win at Chicago was due to good fortune and how much was to extraordinary effort and outcomes.  Think about it: The Vikings forced a Fumble on a Bears run from the 1 that would've given Chicago the lead and blocked a Field Goal that would've tied the Game.  On the other hand, Caleb Williams probably would've scored a go-ahead Touchdown if he hadn't crumpled to the grass because of his hamstring which looked a lot worse than what it has turned out to be, thank Buddha.

To be a great football squad, you have to win ugly trench battles like this.  And it was raining all day in Chicago, so Offense would be at a premium.  But Minnesota didn't punch it in; their nine Points was just three Will Reichard Field Goals.  As great as the Defense is playing right now (Dallas Turner is blossoming, although it's too late for Kwesi Adofo-Mensah to use that to keep his job with the Vikes), the Offense is sputtering.  And while Carson Wentz at least looks like a competent backup Quarterback, he couldn't keep possession of the ball at any point in the day.  What I'm scared of is that we get what we saw most of the time last season -- Wentz hitting his low ceiling through his errant throws and scattershot decision-making.  Right now, the D is carrying the O.  How long can that last if they continue to have trouble scoring Touchdowns?

Sure, I'm a worrywart.  But I'll say that they lose late Sunday afternoon in Tampa Bay.

#-2: Gopher football (Last Week: -6).  Finished their non-con Saturday ripping through and apart Akron at Huntington Bank, 41-7.  I feel safe in saying that the program is at a point where they won't lose to non-BcS teams.  But now they enter conference play, and they start with a B1G After Dark special, where they go to Seattle and play ranked Washington at 10 p.m. our time Saturday night.  Anytime you want to spring an upset, P. J. Fleck, we're ready.

#-3: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -2).  Finished their non-con in Sioux Falls, S. D. beating South Dakota and South Dakota St. in the SD Lottery College Volleyball Classic.  But is there anything to dropping one Set to both non-BcS clubs?  I think so.  I think championship teams sweep schools beneath them.  But hey, we'll see how good (or not) this Year's Gopher volleyballers are in league play.  They're at Illinois tonight/Thursday night, then host #25 Oregon Saturday evening.

#-4: Lynx (Re-Entry!).  This team is ass right now, and they're about to complete a collapse for the third goddamn season in a row.  They have had a chance to clinch home-court advantage throughout the WNBA Playoffs for what seems like a Decade, but they have failed to finish this screening Week by dint of Losses at home to New York and at Indiana (they beat the Sun in Connecticut, though everybody beat the Sun in Connecticut this Year).  It got so bad in their defeat to the Fever Tuesday night that all five starters were benched for the Second Half.  The second-stringers actually cut their deficit to seven, but Indiana managed to pull away.

And yet fortuned smiled upon them.  The Golden State Valkyries were coming on like banshees for the #1 spot.  They would have been able to reach a tie by record with the Lynx atop the WNBA if they had beaten the Fire in Portland.  But after staking out to a 17-0 lead, Portland won it in OT, and so the Jynx were able to backdoor their way to the best record in the Dub.  Thank goodness their torrid start to begin the season is insulating their shit play as of late.  There are some galaxy brains that believe Cheryl Reeve & Co. have the league right where they want them.  Olivia Miles was nursing a hamstring, so she was held out of Tuesday's drubbing.  But there is load management and then there is not playing well down the stretch, and what's been happening to the Jynx for the past six Weeks is something you can't explain away.  Add to that the First Round is a best-of-three and the Semifinals remain a best-of-five, and the season that started out like gangbusters and raised the hopes for an entire state could slide away with two awful efforts, of which the Lynx have become quite apt.

I don't know and I don't care if any starters play tonight/Thursday night at home vs. Indiana.  They'd just better fucking show up at some point, and the sooner, the better.

#-5: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -3).  Salvaged a 2-all Draw at Robbie Sunday afternoon thanks to a Penalty Kick from Ava Westlund in the 87th Minute.  Could be better, could be worse.  They're at the Indiana schools this screening Week (Indiana tonight/Thursday night, Purdue Sunday afternoon).

#-6: Twins (Last Week: -5).  A 4-3 screening Week, the highlight being Taj Bradley's great start in defeating The Bastard New York Giants Tuesday, and very nice Year overall.  Nice, but they were eliminated Sunday and have been in an existential crisis this Week.  They finish the Year this weekend when they host The Bastard Washington Senators v.2.0.  It means nothing to the Twinks, but as of press time, Texas is tied with Houston atop The American League Western Division.  The Loser most likely is eliminated from postseason play.  Therefore, I expect the Twinks to end their Year by getting swept, which is something Twinks fans know all too well.

#-7: United FC (Last Week: -4).  I have tried to defend this organization through a trying and long season.  I still believe that Losses by a Goal aren't routs, despite what over-dramatic queens in supporters sections would say.  A run of one-Goal Losses suck, but I can blame that on statistical bad luck.

But do you know how you lose me?  Blow a lead.  If I were a neutral, I would've liked seeing the Loons' defeat to The Los Angeles Galaxy Saturday night.  L. A. went up in the 12th Minute off a Set Piece, but Marcus Caldeira and Kelvin Yeboah hit back to lead at Halftime, 2-1.  I was hoping like hell they could hold the lead, but too often the Backline failed them, and the Galaxy potted two late in the Match, four Minutes apart, to win, 3-2.  And they're not much better than MNUFC.  But now, with tie-breakers, they are next-to-last in the West.  Believe it or not, a Win Saturday night could put them in the final playoff spot -- still!  Unfortunately, that Game is at Seattle, a place they had recently one won for the first time ever.  Then again, this club appears to play better away from St. Paul.

Don't Know What I'm Going To Do The Rest Of This Week Because I Don't Know If And When I'm Getting Wanked

OK, so for the past week or I've been in touch with *a*** about arranging a meeting with her.  And it's usually with her and another stripper girlfriend, for some reason.  I don't know the last time, if ever, I've gotten any action with her and just her alone.  I have had a devil of a time working out a session with her, and I think it's because she insists that we have a three-way with another woman, and somehow, inevitably, something falls through with that woman, and so we can't meet at all.

*a*** has been stringing me along about trying to do something in the evening.  Well, we're shooting for this/Wednesday evening -- maybe.  She has to include another stripper that she knows, and one that I know way back from My Favorite Stripclub (RIP).  It'd be exciting if I get some play with her because it would be the first time.  But nothing is set in stone.  *a*** is supposed to let me know over the course of today/Wednesday if we're doing this at this third's place or not.  I have been as in touch with her about this tryst as I have ever been, so chances are 50/50, which is still pretty bad.

The rest of my week hinges on whether or not I get to rock out with my cock out tonight/Wednesday night.  I feel the urge to get my pee-pee touched right now, which is why I've been in constant contact with *a*** lately, yet I need 48 hours to "reload."  Meanwhile, I have a plan B, ******e, which I have promised to spend a first one-on-one with for a long time, too.  If we go through with this three-way with *a*** and this other chick, I will ask if ******e can see me Friday.  If this falls through, I'll try and have ******e come tomorrow/Thursday night and, frankly, I can go to a play tonight/Wednesday night.  Just between you and me, I kind of prefer the latter.

See, I want the pieces to fit, yet I can't fit them until I know what's going on with *a***.  Everything else this week falls into place, and quickly, but that cannot happen until I hear from her.  I am also spontaneous (at times), so I can't grouse too much.  But I am grousing, because this is holding up a lot.

The Autumn Equinox Is Killing Me

I love fall.  I really do.  But that might just be my mind, because my body is not adapting well, at least I don't think.

I had enough sleep over the weekend, and yet because I only slept about four hours overnight Sunday night, I felt really, really achy at work yesterday/Monday.  Also, not for nothing, my co-worker had a bad, bad case of the sniffles.  She put on a mask, thank Buddha (I have a stash, she asked for one), but it ain't no N95 or KN95, so let's see if I'm sick, too.

I had to go this place I was at Thursday because I have a deal that expires today/Tuesday.  There was a deal that was for one day only on Thursday.  Before these two times, the last time I was at any place at this chain maybe was a decade ago, and that was in the western metro at a place I think has closed down now.  Anyway, I got there and stayed for two hours while watching Monday Night Football.  The deal was a free full order of garlic bread so long as I buy some other food, and stupidly (even though it is good), I went for a personal-sized pizza.  I didn't finish either.  And when I brought it home, I fell back into my doomscrolling stupor, then went to bed just after watching the weather forecast.

I got up for good around 6 (an hour ago as I type this), but I must have been tossing and turning in bed for, oh, an hour before that, so even though I am awake, I think I've been up since 5.  My body feels better.  But last night I did what I've done often in the past month or so.  Sure, going to bed may be healthier for me, but my parents' coming back is looming, and I haven't done a damn thing.  I need to start cleaning up, but I had a chance to do that on Sunday because I stayed in all day, but I chose to do the laundry, start (but not finish) my receipts, eat and watch football.  I will bang my head against a wall the moment my parents tell me they're coming home because I had all this time to put myself in a better position and I haven't done it.  Right now I'm sorting my week as to when I will have time to start doing that, and I still feel the pull of going out and, say, watching a play or a movie.

Maybe the oncoming winter is killing me.  Or maybe it's my bad decisions.  Or maybe it's the specter of my parents coming home, like a bleepin' sword of Damocles.  Or probably, it's all of the above.

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Sunday, September 20:

• We actually go back to Wednesday, September 16, when I fucked ****e.  She took me into her mouth thrice!!!  Cost: $120.
• I noticed I got three crisp, consecutive $1's in change, and even though this was not the date, I decided to record storing these dollar bills on this date: $3.
• On Monday the 15th I went to the Trylon to see It Happened One Night.  Still holds up as a brisk screwball comedy after all these years.  And now, seeing it a second time, I had not appreciated how, um, saucy the final sequence is.  It was made pre-Hayes Code, after all.  The thing about the Trylon is they do not rely on credit cards at all.  That's admirably old school, but they do allow payment by check.  Shit, man, I thought I last saw someone pay by check in-person at a grocery store two decades ago.  But I didn't have enough money to buy a ticket and popcorn and Coke (the ATM on the way there from work does not have after-hours access), so I went back out to my car to grab my checkbook.  So I filled out a check for $8 for the ticket, which freed up the remaining money I not only for some concession, but a large popcorn and a bottle of Mexican Coke, exactly what I wanted!  And I paid: $8.
• Back to Labor Day, the last day of The Minnesota State Fair.  For the record, I stayed there for, I think, six hours, which is possibly a record amount of time I stayed there.  I charged the Blue Barn's Cracklin' Ribs, a second Pina Colada I got from Manny's Tortas, Tot Boss' elote tots, and the twist raspberry-and-peach beer cone from Lulu's.  I paid cash for the Bee-Nut pie, the lemonade slushie from Holy Land, the Sausage Sisters' When Pigs Fly, and a small Lift Bridge root beer.  That all came out to: $37.
• Saturday, September 5: Went to see ******a at My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Edition).  Cover, tips, drinks for her and me, and 20 table dances from ******a: $231.
• On Thursday the 3rd I went to Charito's for a wrapped package of day-old cookies.  The guy gave me a discount, and I still gave him a tip.  Total: $8.50.
• Later that evening I went to the Dakota to see Bob James, a smooth jazz pianist best known for the theme song to Taxi.  It's weird, but the Dakota gives a discount to anyone paying for their ticket in cash.  I had enough to spare, so I was ushered from the front desk to another guy who handles cash for tickets, or something.  He didn't have a register with him, so I could only give him cash if I had exact change -- well, it was $50.41, but he was OK with $50.40 because I didn't have a penny.  Whew!  I went on and used more cash for the black caesar salad, gumbo and drink I had.  With tip for my meal, it all added up to: $125.40.
• Going back to Sunday, August 30, and there's a whole of shit I paid cash for.  Start with Chipotle, where the cashier rounded down.  With tip: $11.10.
• I then got wanked by *****y: $150.
• I then went to Dairy Queen, which, according to my notes, was my second meal that evening, which I don't quite understand now that I'm doing the final draft.  There was a deal through the DQ app I used for a small chocolate malt.  Then, there was a fuck-up where I had to wait almost half an hour to get the malt.  Apparently my order was "bumped," and only after I asked did they go back and find it.  The person who rang me up up-sized my malt to make up for it, which I didn't necessarily want because the small was the portion I wanted, but OK.  Oh, and this Dairy Queen rounds up, so I had to pay: $3.25.
• Late that night, for the first time ever, I went to Bunker's to see Dr. Mambo's Combo, which may be the longest-running residency in the country.  Nice hang, especially for a late Sunday night.  Cover, cider, Coke and tips (plus free popcorn!): $28.
• More EWRs for Saturday the 29th ... I was able to wake up very early that morning, which allowed me to do something I wanted to for some time and eat at Al's Breakfast before parking meters began getting enforced.  With tip I paid, and this seems expensive to me: $21.
• Went to my game-watching bar to see my alma mater's football team start up the season.  I paid cash because this is one of the places that has a credit card surcharge.  I don't take advantage of this all that often due to the convenience of credit cards, alas.  But on this date I used legal tender, to the tune of: $40.
• Finally, I went to the Midway Saloon after the MNUFC Match.  Don't know why.  I think I should go only after they won, and they only drew with Orlando City.  Plus, they coughed up the lead late into Second Half Stoppage Time.  Maybe I wanted to celebrate that they scored thrice in four Minutes.  Anyway, shoutout to the babe bartender baring her belly.  Cider and tip: $10.

Good through September 20.

No Foresight When It Comes To Toilet Paper

So I ran out of toilet paper just now, and I didn't have a back-up.  So I walked downstairs, shirt on but nothing covering me below the waist, to go to the master bathroom and grab the roll from there.  We've got rolls, I just don't want to grab a whole pack right now.  Anyway, I obviously didn't wipe my ass before going down there, so my shit gets to be on more of my skin.  And I overlook that I was walking around the house naked, including at my front door, so if someone stepped up to the front door just as I was walking down the stairs, I'd be fucked.  And of course, I overlook that I have walked around the house naked many times before, especially after fucking around with my stripper girlfriends, so why would I be worried that I would get caught now, and to that I say, well, I'm more embarrassed at just what happened and when I'm fucking around with my stripper girlfriends I would, well, not be ... unless my parents blindside me.

I have stayed out late a lot, especially lately.  And even though I endeavor to do things once I get home, I am usually too tired.  Well, I often eat and/or drink, and that makes me too tired to do things I should do -- the laundry, the dishes, my stuff, you know, the usual things I complain about.

And today is one of those nights.  I was going to go to sleep and blog post something in the morning because I didn't have anything to write about.  Well, I do now ... and now that I've done it, as pithy as it is, I am going to try and sleep.

Deleted Zynga Poker

Just did it, around 11:28 a.m. now/Saturday.  A lot of reasons why I did it after years of Zynga Poker (and, before that, Mafia Wars, from which I was gatewayed into playing Zynga Poker after Zynga shut down Mafia Wars).  The big reason, if there is one I can point to above all, is that Facebook/Meta has de-platformed Zynga, and I find I don't want to play Zynga Poker if I can't easily get to it through my Facebook.  Also, they took away the Daily Bonus, where I was given up to, and then more than, a million "dollars" just by checking in every single day.  That is how I was able to play Omaha, with their huge initial antes, and then win, thereby propelling myself up the leaderboard and rise in status.  How high did I get to?  Master I, apparently, the lowest stage of the second-highest tier in the Zynga Poker pyramid, looks like.  Well, if I can't get money, I won't be able to win the money I need to keep up my status.  And tumbling down the pyramid is no fun.  Finally, even though they say the cards are random, too many times I felt like I got screwed in the end when an opponent (or a bot -- another reason I'm quitting is because I simply don't believe the people I am playing against actually are people) backdoored me.  For all those reasons, I decided to quit.

Maybe I shouldn't be as surprised by this, but I don't miss it.  Zynga Poker didn't feel like an obligation to play every night per se, but I've been to the website, oh, maybe twice in the past ten days since September 1, around the time they got tossed off Facebook.  I've been busy, and it has been too, too easy to forget that I haven't played poker.  And I'm OK with that.  If that's the case, maybe it's best to delete it.

Like a drug pusher, Zynga Poker has somewhat emphasized that I have seven days from now to change my mind.  All I have to do is go back to their website and push a button, and all my relegating settings will be restored.  I hope I don't get sucked back into playing again.  Hopefully, I'll forget that I even requested all my data be deleted.  And then I'll be done with Zynga Poker.

RIP, Psychologist

So I attended the funeral of my therapist yesterday/Friday afternoon.

It was raining all day -- not the ideal weather conditions to travel to a church and then attend the post-funeral reception, but it was the appropriate mood.  I didn't know anyone there except his secretary, but I was allowed to just stand and pace and look around in the church and wait for the ceremony to begin.

Nice-looking church.  Churches are always nice looking.  I'm not Catholic, but some of the psalms and beats and call-and-responses were actually familiar to me.  Then I remembered that I attended the funeral of my sister's best friend's mother back in December.  She too was Catholic, so I remembered what I had seen yesterday from back in December.  And then it dawned on me that I've been to two funerals within the past 12 months, and that I may be going to a lot more as I get older.

I will never know what to say, or how to behave, at a celebration of life memorial.  I mean, what can you say?

I saw the family march out in the steady rain to bury him.  It was not my place to accompany them, so I drove to his son's townhouse for the reception, then waited about a half-hour to make sure I saw people park and go to what I hoped was the right address.  (In the meantime I fell asleep, or at least tried to; a couple of times, as I was about to doze off, I could feel my Adam's apple press up against my collar and tie, and I felt this fear that I was drowning shoot up inside me, and I woke up again.  Wearing a collar and tie will always feel like I'm choking myself.)

Feels tacky to say this, but I will: The son has a nice place.  For a townhome whose driveway they split with another family, it's really spacious.  The food was decked out in what looked like a small indoor racquetball court.  I could totally see a family live here.  Heck, with the downstairs wet bar, I could see myself living here, even though it might be a big too spacious for just myself.  There, I did what a person who was not the deceased's immediate circle would do: Eat and keep to myself.  Eventually the daughter-in-law introduced myself, and that was nice to not feel like a total stranger.  I wanted to shake hands with her husband, the son, but on my way out (I didn't want to stay too long) I did what I thought was the absolutely necessary thing to do and give my condolences to my therapist's wife, the widow.  I remember a couple times calling him  where she picked up and handed the phone to him.  She said she knows who I was and remembers him raving about me.  I can't imagine being one of the people he remembers so fondly, but that's nice to know.

---

Seeing a man so loved made me tear up a little at the church.  It is jarring to see his two sons break down as they memorialized him.  And it is sad to watch, but it's a testament that he was so loved and valued, and what more can you want from a life?  I only know him from our relationship, but it was at the church where I saw how many friends he made, and how many lives he touched.  He was a hell of a guy who did a whole bunch of nice things, for his family and his professional community.  And his patients too, like me.

I have friends, but I don't confide in them like I did with my psychotherapist.  There are things I've told him I haven't told my family.  It's mostly my fears and sexual urges, and frankly, those are things I am not completely certain I can tell my friends, and definitely not my family.  (Sidetrack: Those things, especially my sexual urges, I would totally tell my stripper girlfriends.  But nearly all of them do not seem to want that level of emotional intimacy I am ready to give them at the drop of a hat.  That favoritism is something I think I told my shrink.)  And through all my rants and paranoia and erotic fantasies and violent ideations, for the 10-5 years I had known him, he just ... listened.  And that's what I miss about him the most.  He was a sounding board, someone I could not only talk to but talk at, and he just listened to me without judgement.  That isn't a healthy relationship, but that is definitely what my damaged, damned soul needed, to be listened to without judgement.  OK, so his advice the past several times we spoke over the phone were strange and not productive.  But that doesn't take away the fact that over the years he was someone I could talk to, and he helped, and tried to help, me when I needed someone to speak to in private.  I don't know if I can find another one like him again.

RIP, sir.

Goddammit, I Hesitated And Lost!!! (I Think)

Late Tuesday night I was doomscrolling through Bluesky when I came across a skeet that posted a screenshot of another skeet or tweet from someone who either works for an organization that watches oil prices or is just an obsessive oil market watcher.  That person said that he predicted a huge jump in the price of gas within the next 24-48 hours.

Hmmm.  When I saw this I had half a tank.  The next morning (yesterday/Wednesday) I was going to drive a ways so I could see/have sex with ****e.  If I woke up early enough, I thought I could top off.  But that skeet/tweet said this was going to affect the Great Lakes States.  Well, Minnesota borders Lake Superior, but the skeet/tweet did list states east of us -- Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Michigan, and Wisconsin (although not quite, according to this person ... Wisconsin has lower gas tax), and not Minnesota.  Frankly, I didn't have time, so I was going to check prices when I came back from laying pipe into her, and if I see prices shoot up, I'll go searching.

On the way down the prices were what they were Tuesday: $4.25, which is obscene, but that was the price it had been for a few days.  OK, I still have time, or so I thought.  But when I came back home, I see all these signs for $4.50.  Shit, the early afternoon was when everybody raised their prices.  I go to my go-tos which usually have the lowest prices in the area, but it was too late.

So I should've not taken any chances and just filled it up all the way on my way to seeing ****e.  My only saving grace is that I have just downloaded a new gas station application, and my reward for signing up is getting 25 cents off my next five fuel-ups (even though they expire in about three months).  Sure, that would mean I'm still paying $4.25 a gallon, but it is a discount.  That's all I got.  Seriously, though, these fucking prices are ridiculous.  There is one man to blame directly, but there are about 77 million Americans who should also share the blame for this bullshit.  Fuck you, you stupid motherfuckers.