Expenses Without Receipt

Starting from Friday, August 28:

• We go back to Thursday, August 27, the first day of the State Fair.  Didn't have as much money as I wanted, so I relied on my credit card for the Blue Barn Sweet Squeakers (which is fast becoming an annual staple), the Frozen Blue beer, Swedish coffee, and Cherry Jumbo Limeade Float from, uh, that place (I should commit the shop's name to memory; I can see getting this year after year, too).  But I shelled out cash for the Gizmo (first time ever I've eaten at this place), the corn, and the Peachey's Amish donut.  With a tip for the Gizmo the total is: $26.
• On Tuesday the 25th I went to Caribou before work partly so I could get cash.  A medium mocha (just a mocha, not one of their signature mochas), minus trivia and plus, gets to: $7.25.
• That evening I had to go to our alumni Game-watching place to make sure it was OK for us to watch our Game, which is that Saturday, there.  We could.  With tip I spent: $37.
• All the way back to Saturday, August 15, where I went to Porchfest at the Wedge neighborhood.  Wish I could have spent some more time down there, walking through the streets and catching bands playing.  I tipped the bands, and I also got a cup of lemonade from a family selling it.  Total amount I spent for Porchfest: $5.
• Monday, August 3: ******a, oh, ******a: $150.
• We hurtle back to Tuesday, July 28, where I had to see Supergirl a second time because I missed the very start of it the first time.  Ticket, popcorn, pop, minus my $5 discount because I used points (I got food with a movie for the first time in a long time, and knowing how much it regularly costs, I won't be buying food again for a while) comes out to: $17.30.
• Sunday, July 26 ... this is the day I wanted to drive to Iowa, but I had to wait for ****e* to get here, and I finally just left because her lazy but nice ass couldn't get out of her house when she promised she would.  Not mad, just disappointed.  I got to The Day The Music Died Memorial, which is out on a private cornfield, in the early evening.  Wish I had went when it wasn't blisteringly humid, but you can't predict the weather.  Still, it was eerie and moving, and I'm glad I got to pay my respects.  And I got to pay it alone; I got to the parking lot, which is across the gravel street from the memorial site, as another person was leaving, and no one came after me.  There was an RV of someone who was tending to the gravel parking lot I parked at.  I got the feeling she and her family appointed themselves as caretakers of the memorial and the parking lot.  They had little trinkets to sell, and they asked for donations.  I appreciated that someone is dedicating themselves to keeping up the area, so I donated: $5.
• On Saturday the 25th I went out to Stillwater and got Nelson's Ice Cream.  This place is famous for heaping scoop upon scoop upon scoop of ice cream.  Their smalls are large.  I appreciate that in these days of paying more and getting less, but this was ridiculous.  With tip: $8.
• I wanted to get ice cream after I saw *****y, but her hot but finicky ass made me cum see her after ice cream.  And then she made me cum: $150.
• Thursday, July 23: I don't know if the date is right.  But I have this as the day I went to Nelson's -- not the ice cream shop in Stillwater but the deli place close to home.  Got a Hero, a medium chicken wild rice soup, and a can of RC Cola.  With tip the total was: $17.32.
• Wednesday the 22nd -- had to buy lottery tickets, both lotteries.  Total: $14.
• I then got gasoline.  Paid cash for it: $32.
• To Sunday the 19th, where I went to Grandpa Joe's for a Whistler pop.  Minus the bottle deposit I paid: $1.62.
• I then went to the Black Hart to watch some World Cup soccer.  Can of cider plus tip: $7.
• That night I went to a local theater to watch The Odyssey.  This is an historic one-screen place (although it's owned by a company that has a few historic one-screen places) that showed the film in 70mm.  This is a theater where the person running the screening is an aficionado, and he showed how better the resolution a flick is in 70mm by bringing out the reel in which the film is threaded.  I like the presentation.  I love the movie, too; it's fantastic, and the probable Oscar favorite for Best Film.  Small popcorn, small pop, and tips for concessions and the organist (I used my credit card for the ticket): $14.
• Finally, on Wednesday, July 15, I took that day and the following day off for World Cup Semifinals -- and, on this day, to take my car in for maintenance.  After the oil change and tire rotation, I took my vehicle to the car wash.  Paid for the wash, but the tip was in cash: $5.
• Because there was nothing seriously wrong with the car, I had time to go to Flameburger to take in breakfast.  Great to eat there; will return next year.  Got their meal of half an egg, hash browns and toast, and with a small apple juice and tip it cost me: $15.
• Later that afternoon I went to Brit's Pub to see Spain handcuff France, 2-0.  There went my World Cup pick.  With tip: $54.

I keep saying this because it remains true: I have to do these EWRs more often.

Good through August 28.

The Triumphant Return Of VEF!!!

OK, so I was about to do a blog post where I fell asleep at a decent time again (if you count 11:30 as a decent time) and trying to figure out when and how to fit in dropping off the wood pallet at my unit, getting a massage, going to my favorite speakeasy, and having visits from two stripper girlfriends, all before the State Fair begins.  (Still haven't figured it out yet; I might blog post about it later this week.)

But the days has already started out great, because VEF is back!  It was gone for over a month, and my God, it's like a druggie being in withdrawal.  Around the same time I saw a bunch of other porn sites put up those "I am 18+" verification boxes before you'd get to the homepage, and I thought VEF getting suddenly taken down had something to do with that.  I don't know all the details as to why and how, but that was not the case here.  All I know is I was up at around 5:30 this morning, I needed to blog post, I thought I would take another shot at VEF, and voila! it's back!!

I hadn't realized how much I've relied on VEF.  As other things remain out of place, I am so happy that I have this back in my life!!!

Kinda Fucked Up Now

I woke up after I threw up a little in my mouth.  Ever have that happen to you?  Not fun.

That happened around 5:11.  And that happened after I woke up around 4:30, which happened after I shut off the lights to see if I would fall asleep around 12:30.  And I did that even though I juiced half a lime (25 mL -- yeah, waiting for the lime to warm up to room temperature seems to help a lot!) at 8 p.m.  That means I had till about 6 a.m. to use it all before it went bad.  I failed to do so; I am drinking a Suffering Bastard right now, which I made around 5:30, but I have 10 mL I still have to use.  And even though it's "spoiled," I will still use it, right after I finish my first cocktail at around 6:30.  Can't waste bad lime juice.

And yes, I am day drinking.  Well, looks like dawn drinking.  I admit that this is kind of fucked up -- drinking in the morning, sleeping at odd hours, waking up after intermittent sleep and, of course, throwing up in my mouth.  At least I'm not working or anything, right?

I should do something productive, like clean up or something, now.

A Race Against Time To Use The Limes

On a whim, I bought a plastic-wrapped tray of eight limes that the discount grocer near me wanted to ship out.  I have used two already, might juice another two tonight for cocktails, but I don't know if I'll be able to use them all before they go bad.  But hey, I bought them all for $1.50, so when it comes to value (not necessarily food waste), I couldn't pass it up.

The Time Where I Almost Fucking Lost It Watching The World Cup

So I made the mistake of going to downtown to catch the last Matches of Group G almost a month ago.  I heard downtown was dead because it was dangerous (which of course is bullshit), plus there were no Twins or Lynx Games whose crowds I would have to worry about, so I thought I would have a good time digesting both Matches in relative peace.

I found a table where I would be able to see two TVs, each showing one of the Games.  One was farther from my vantage point than the other, but that was fine, or so I thought.  Shortly after I sat down, this group of three people sat at the table next to me.  That was OK, even though they got a little loud.  One guy ordered a round of shots and another guy was wondering if he could eat, and then I got a bit concerned.

Then, this fucking group grew like metastatic cancer.  A fourth dude came, then another group of some number, then another, then another.  They started blocking my view of the TV further from my eyesight, which was Egypt-Iran, the better of the two Matches going on simultaneously.  (That finished 1-all; in the other Game, Belgium routed New Zealand, 5-1.)  They of course started getting really loud, which only worsened when this same motherfucker who bought the first round of shots decided he was a bigshot and ordered a couple more rounds with even more shots.

As bad as that was, I really started to boil inside when they invaded my personal space which, in this specific environment, was my table.  The group got so big that a couple of them began standing inbetween my table and theirs, and their clothes and, for all I know, their body fat pushed up against and hovered over the side of my table.  I was already upset that I couldn't hear or see the World Cup Games I was there to see, so that shit really put me on red.

Then, some guy who probably was not part of their group (I'll get to why I say that in a bit) put his glass of water on my table.  The other end of this short table I was sitting at, but this was My.  Fucking.  Table.  And this asshole just walked away without it.  This was my red line.  This was the point where I lost it, or I had to do something while knowing I couldn't yell or punch someone.  I saw him talking to his group around the other side of the pillar against which my table was at.  I just grabbed the glass of water, went up to this dude, and said, "Hey, this is your water," then sat back down.  And he probably thought I was crazy and/or an asshole, but he, I guess, was puzzled enough to find another place to put the glass of water and then forget about it.  But at least that goddamn cup wasn't at my table.

As for these fuckers to the left of me, which seriously grew to about 20 or even two dozen people, it didn't get any better.  They got even louder and rowdier, and they even started pushing up against my table.  But hey, at least they got into the Eqypt-Iran Match like I was.  The only thing I can think as to why they seemed to be so OK with getting sorta close to me, and this is a complete guess, is that, and I was able to hear this with little difficulty because they were talking so fucking loud, they were in town for a conference of Asian journalists.  They were all Asian, as, of course, am I and, even though I didn't have that good of a look at him, the shit who left his water at my table.  They may have thought we were all a part of this conference in downtown Minneapolis.  I find it kind of funny since I have a degree in journalism.  I am out of the industry, way out.  And while looking at these drunk and dumb fucks ruin my night, it crossed my mind how many of these young, over-confident shits will wash out of the industry like I did.  From those who are able to carve out a career, I wonder how many of them will become "insiders" whose egos will be so big they'll become insufferable pricks who fall in love with the smell of their own shit.  Then again, they're Asian.  They might not be allowed to get that big.

Thinking/Wishing all of these journalists-to-be will fail was the only socially-acceptable way I could get back at these assholes that ruined my World Cup viewing.  Good luck in journalism.

I Then I Will Have The Opportunity To Cut Back On My Drinking

I wish I had tracked this closer: I believe Thursday was the first day I didn't drink in ... ope, shit, I don't know, maybe Monday, June 22, but it might have been a date later than that.  Anyway, I drank alcohol a lot ever since the World Cup began, and maybe my liver is taking a beating. But with only four Matches remaining (and one of them's the Third Place Match, and I don't give a flying fuck about that anachronism), the reasons to go out and enjoy a beer while watching soccer on a TV become fewer and farther between.  That should help with my drinking.  Then again, I just bought a few bottles of alcohol.  I will have more time to stay home and, well, make cocktails for myself, like I did yesterday/Sunday.

But no drinking after work during the workweek.  That will stop.  Largely.

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Saturday, July 11:

• Well, we're going back to Friday, July 10, the day I went to a party.  Because of that, I stopped by an ATM to get money that morning.  I was going to dump a bottle of motor oil in a trash can, as well as an old Chick-Fil-A milkshake cup I had in my refrigerator that had a little bit of milkshake left but somehow froze even though it was in the fridge, then I was planning to get a mocha from Caribou just a couple of suites away.  But standing ... there was some stringy White woman who asked me if I was going into Caribou.  She said she was kicked out of there for "trespassing."  Now that sounded weird, plus I had to go to work, so I just said I stopped my car to throw that bottle and milkshake cup away.  She then asked me if I could go into Caribou and buy coffee for her, and I refuse to help strangers that way, so I said no.  But that meant my cover was blown and I couldn't buy Caribou ... at least not from there, because thank Buddha there is another Caribou close by.  In fact, this Caribou is closer to work, but I always hated this one because of the shitty customer service.  This time around was OK, so maybe the bad baristas are gone.  Anyway, I hope the weird lady is gone now.  Mocha, pastry and tip equals: $11.75.
• The party after work that day was ... different.  Talked about *****y watching over me.  Again, I just wished I had performed better for ******e.  But at least she didn't charge me an arm and a leg over my pee-pee.  With cover it all came out to: $150.
• Monday the 6th ... this was the day where I went to the Black Hart after work to watch the Americans lose and be eliminated in the World Cup.  I thought I had used cash for everything I ate and drank there and just forgot, but turns out I only used cash for that busker who comes around selling her Mexican food.  Got an enchilada, but they didn't have any utensils to eat it with.  Come on, guys, do better.  Cost: $10.
• Back to Friday the 3rd, the start of a glorious long Independence Weekend.  I started it at the barber school so I could get a shave.  My hair was getting long.  Also, I was asked to do this video tribute to a guy who runs a men's basketball pool I've been a part of for almost two decades, so I needed to look good.  The shave was also good, even though I realized I needed to leave because I had things I needed and wanted to do.  Thought coming in on a weekday would allow me to get to my shave quickly, but since the 4th of July was the following day, everybody had this day off, so I had to spend a half-hour waiting.  Oh, well.  With tip: $14.
• This is The Summer Of Soccer, so I spent a lot of time, and money, reveling in it.  I went to the Black Hart after getting shaved for a Tripleheader of Round of 32 World Cup action.  I got there in time to order a Bloody Mary and a big Italian meat pizza.  I need to use cash more, and going to the barber school (I need money to at least tip), I had an excuse to use cash this time.  With tip, this meal was: $30.
• And I stayed from the early afternoon till deep in the night.  That night, that busker selling Mexican food at the Black Hart came around.  She knows my face now.  I ordered tacos, which were good, although a bit overpriced (IMHO) at: $10.
• Thursday the 2nd -- got out of work in time to see the Portugal-Croatia Round of 32 Match in its entirety, and in fact I had time to go to El Taco Riendo to watch it.  Had two rounds of food and drink: Chilaquiles and a Corona for the First Half, then esquites and a fountain Coke for the Second Half.  With tip it all came out to: $34.86.
• That night I wanted to see Switzerland-Algeria and this Mediterranean place close by me which was advertising them broadcasting the World Cup.  It was somewhat of a disaster, as I detailed here, but the food (Dubai chocolate cake) and drink (Adeni tea) was nice.  With tip: $16.
• Wednesday the 1st: More soccer.  Went to the Black Hart.  Decided on a whim that I was going to get a burrito from the Mexican food busker even though I wasn't planning on it.  Cost: $5.
• And since I used cash for her, I needed to use cash somewhere else.  Even though I charged everything at the Black Hart up till that point, I decided I needed to give a tip to stick to my OCD principle of using money at least twice if I am using it at all: $1.
• Looks like I have to go all the way back to Saturday, June 20.  I enjoyed some World Cup soccer in the afternoon at the Black Hart, where I got a dirty vodka martini.  With tip I spent: $10.
• I then went to see ******a at My Favorite Stripclub (I don't know if I need to say "Cover Version/Edition/Division" anymore).  This was the first time I saw ******a since she, uh, made all my stripper fantasies come true when she came over to rub me down, tee-hee.  It wasn't awkward, although I made a couple faint allusions over what she did to me.  Got 20 table dances from her.  With cover, tips and drinks for the both of us, the grand total came out to: $231.
• On Friday the 19th I went to Chimborazo to see my smart people group.  I hadn't seen them in a while, and I wanted to, especially since Chimborazo is both relatively close to work, from which I was planning on going to, and relatively close to home, to which I would leave Chimborazo to hopefully see the Brazil-Haiti World Cup Match in its entirety.  I was able to make it to the restaurant at our appointed time.  Work wasn't the issue; a sudden hailstorm was, but I braved through it.  The place was packed and therefore too loud for me to start any conversation with even the people at the table I was eating with.  That's not really conducive to a relaxing atmosphere (turns out that when I left, which was well after the Brazil-Haiti Match started), several other members of my party left, too), but I am glad this great Ecuadorean restaurant is doing well.  With tip I spent: $60.
• On Sunday, June 7 I went to my alumni spot to see my college baseball team choke away a lead both in this Game and their Super Regional series.  Very disappointing.  Plus tip: $35.
• Later that day I think I drove all the way to *****y's place to see her.  Gosh, I can't do that again - too far!  Anyway: $150.
• Wednesday, June 3: Quick tryst with ******e for only: $120.
• Finally, on Monday, June 1, ******a came over and made all the fantasies I had about a stripper servicing me come true.  Who says you can't have a clean dancer go dirty if you convince them?  All that and a bomb-ass massage for: $150.

Good through July 11.

This Stripper Really Loves Me

So I made it to a stripper party last/Friday night.  I wish I could say I was more relaxed, but the stripper I was with really took things in stride.  She's a really cool chick.  I hope to get with her again soon.

I was planning on going home because I was, well, spent.  But *****y, even though she wasn't technically hosting (*****a was because it was her birthday), she wouldn't let me leave until I stayed there for a while longer.  *****a had made me a strong frozen margarita a few hours before, and *****y didn't want me to just drive off.  Now, this is not the first time *****y has asked me not to leave so soon after a house party.  Also, and make of this what you wish, I felt fine driving home.  (She has continually said to other strippers working parties I've been to that I don't drink much.  I don't know when I should tell her that, uh, isn't quite the case ... which makes me think I should cut down on the drinking, but that should is a blog post for another time.)  But like the first time she asked, I was struck by this stripper, the ethos of whom I normally associate with being a free spirit, and with acting with wild abandon, being so concerned about me, let alone anyone.

*****y gave me a bottle of water and told me to stay, so I just drank water and doomscrolled.  After an hour of this (again, I was all tapped out, so I didn't have any fun with the other strippers there), I thought I was good to go.  She let me go, but she insisted on me texting her once I got home.  Now, don't tell her, I went to Chick-Fil-A first because I had an urge for a peach milkshake.  But then I got home, and I got home in one piece.  And when my cellphone picked up my house wi-fi, there waiting was a message from *****y asking me if I got home safely.

Yes, our relationship is built on sex work.  I cannot deny that when we always "hang out," money changes hands.  But that shows me that *****y loves me.  I am absolutely convinced of that.  You do not go out of your way to prevent someone from getting into an accident, and then proactively text someone whether he got home safe, if you don't love him.  Now, I know she's not in love with me; it's not like that, and I don't think it can be like that.  But our relationship, and I can't think of a better term to call it, has become different over the many, many years I have known and, well, gotten serviced by her.  This is not meaningless.  The concern for my well-being she showed me yesterday is something by which I am deeply moved.  And I guess I am still processing all that.

Ironically, I could see My Mother doing this same thing to me (not at a house party like this, of course), to which I would probably scream at her, "You're suffocating me!!!!!!!!!!"  But I don't feel that way from *****y.  Probably because *****y isn't My Mother who has confused me whenever she hasn't psychologically tortured me all my life.  Plus, I've seen *****y naked ... and I quite love seeing her naked!

Hour And A Half, Hour And A Half, Hour And A Half

I'm trying to watch as much World Cup as I can as the Matches dwindle.  (Sure, my liver might not make it; I'll talk about that next blog post, hopefully.)  This workweek, last night's USA lost excepted, all the Games are in the afternoon.  I don't mind dropping by this one Mexican place close by work to catch the tail end of one of these Knockout Round Matches.  I have developed (well, maybe my OCD has developed) a principle whereby I try and go to a place at least twice to watch Games.  I've been to this pretty expensive restaurant only once, and since I have my places for the Semifinals and Final mapped out, this week's Matches have to be it.

Ideally, I would be able to drop in on a day where I'm scheduled to work early on a day where the Game is at late in the afternoon as possible.  That's only 3 o'clock.  Is that happening this week?  Nope, not at all.  There are Matches today/Tuesday and Thursday at 3, but I am scheduled for The Third Department.  Even if I can get out of work after eight hours (and that's probably not going to happen), I'll be done at 4:30.  Ninety Minutes of the Game would already be done, so I would have to hope that a Match reaches Extra Time for it to be worth driving to this place for a tequila and a taco or something.  Friday I am scheduled to work until 3:30, but dammit, the Game that afternoon begins at 2.  Same scenario.  Of course.

And yet I am thinking that, barring some miracle where there is no work and I can leave early today/Tuesday or Thursday, if I really, really want to sate my OCD and go to this Mexican restaurant to watch the World Cup a second time there, I would ask my boss if I can come in and leave early on Friday.  I can at most shift up my shift a half-hour, which means I would leave work an hour into that Match.  I might have, oh, less than 30 Minutes to watch a Game that might be over by the time I leave.  Also, not for nothing, I have a house party to go to that will also supply food and drink.  Don't want to stuff my face twice on Friday, but my OCD is barking at me to do this.  For soccer!

The Taste Of Throw-Up In Your Mouth, Mmmmm!

And that's what woke me up.  Again I stayed out to watch soccer and so I plopped into bed as soon as I got home.  (Didn't help that the start of England-Mexico was delayed an hour due to storms, but maybe it wouldn't've made a difference.)  And I think I would've gotten a full night's sleep if, about 3 1/2 hours into my rest, I threw up in my mouth.  I've had an acid reflux attack like that before, but this tasted different.  Maybe it was the fact it woke me up, but the bile in this one was ugh.  And because I woke up, I haven't been able to go back to sleep since.

Going backwards, yesterday/Sunday I had water, chips and salsa, a couple beers, a personal-sized pizza, a mole stout, and three tacos.  They say you shouldn't immediately lie down after you eat and drink.  I want to say it was an hour from my last sip (which was the water) to conking off, but maybe that wasn't enough.  Or, by the pizza taste in the bile, maybe it was the fact that I ate too much, again.

Never-Ending Tea

I continued my World Cup-watching sojourn around the cities last/Thursday night at this new Mediterranean place for Switzerland-Algeria.  I saw it was a restaurant that was going to show Matches.  Unfortunately, that is not quite the case.

First of all, as I peered into the restaurant right after parking, their TV was not tuned to that.  Instead, their TV(s) was/were being used for their menu.  I don't know if the owners of the restaurant also own the Yemeni coffee place right next to it, but they were showing the Game on their outdoor patio.  Sold.  Plus, I heard good things about this place, so this was a good time to try it out and try something I've never tried before.

Well, the victuals and libations were great but the atmosphere wasn't.  Well, the Match-watching wasn't.  For some damn reason, the TV was using a stick or a streamer that tuned in to not Fox Sports 1 or Telemundo but the Arabic feed for BeIn, which I guess holds the rights to the World Cup in the Arab world.  Why they just didn't bleepin' get satellite is beyond me, because this feed or stick or streamer or television set had this nasty habit of cutting out and reverting to audio every five minutes, and the only way to restore the picture was to use the remote control and hit a button.  The first time this happened the people on the patio watching the Game were scrambling, and by the time we got the video feed back, Switzerland scored what eventually became the Match-winner.  I was going to stay the whole Match, but I was done after the First Half.  Well, the mosquitos biting me didn't help, either.

The problem with watching World Cup Games in restaurants and pubs is that I feel compelled to give them business by buying food and drink.  So I have bought a lot of food and drink, including yesterday/Thursday.  I got out of work at a very decent time, so I had the chance to see Portugal-Croatia in its entirety, and I decided to go to this Mexican place to see the whole thing.  And since I was staying for two hours, I bought a plate of barbacoa chilaquiles with a Corona before the First Half, then a cup of esquites with a Coke for the Second Half.  I got so damn full after that, but I was determined to try out this new place and challenge my palate with "ethnic" food and drink.

And, of course, my stomach is distended because of it.  I settled for Dubai chocolate cake, which has been a cliche for two years now, but it was good.  So was the Adeni tea that I had ... er, am still having.  As of press time, I'm still not done with the cup.  It's a medium-sized cup, something akin to a medium from Caribou.  And while I sometimes need to finish up the mochas that evening, the only times I haven't finished drinks like that is when I forgot, and then I have to drink quick in the morning.

That is not necessarily the case with this.  My stomach might have been telling me it couldn't, um, stomach any more liquids after eating at the Mexican place.  Also, I have to say that Adeni team was damn hot.  I got it early in the First Half, and even as the Game went to Halftime, the cup was hot to the touch.  The hot and humid weather can't explain that.  But I got home to drink this tea while watching from my bedroom for the Second Half.  I tried to drink it all because it was only warm at this point.  But by God, I couldn't get done with this.  Swear to God this is a bottomless cup of Adeni tea.  If this were a a mocha from Caribou, chances are I could finish it.  But there was still more, and still more, and still more, no matter how much I drank.

Finally, I remembered that I juiced the other half-lemon before going to the Mexican restaurant, so I needed to make myself a cocktail (a sidecar) to use the lemon juice.  So that means I have tea left over.  Oh, and I still have coffee from work yesterday/Thursday left over, too.  And I still need to drink my sidecar, but right now I am sipping only because I am damn full.

I checked the World Cup schedule for next week.  Since we're getting into the really important Games, the number of them obviously dwindles, and they'll be played in the afternoons when I'm working.  USMNT is playing Monday night.  Other than that, I do not need to go out and eat and drink to watch soccer the rest of next week until next Saturday.  Maybe I will stop eating and drinking so much then.  And hopefully I will have drank all the tea by then, too.

I was going to blog post about me deciding to attend the Women's PGA Championship at Hazeltine (tl;dr in case I don't ever get back around to talking about it: I'm glad I went) or the time Friday I went downtown just to watch the World Cup and a growing party just fucking got in my way.  But before I left for Hazeltine yesterday/Sunday I juice half a lemon and got 35 mL out of it.  That meant I had to drink two cocktails, and since I got back so late I had only till 9:30 p.m. (I juiced them around 11:30 a.m. and I think you have up to ten hours before the juice starts to taste bleh) to use them, and I realized while watching Red Sox-Yankees on NBC that it was past 9, so I made and downed a lemon drop martini and then quickly followed that up with a between the sheets, and not only do I have a pounding headache, I think I may have poisoned myself.

So, to summarize, that is what I'm blog posting about ... while also providing a possible cause of death in case I don't wake up in the morning.

My Cuba Libre Will Smell Of Onion And Cilantro, Yummy!!!

Instead of buying limes, I've hit upon an idea that's either genius or stupid.  I've been on a Mexican food kick lately -- partly because I want to support immigrant mom-and-pop businesses, partly because I'm World Cup-pilled now and watching soccer puts me in the mood for Latin American food.  (This may be racist.)

When you get food for a place like that, you get limes.  Cocktails use limes, right?  So why not, instead of using the limes on the food, I take them home with me to use for drinks?  I tried that once a couple weeks ago when I bought a Caesar salad from Pizza Luce that had lemons in it.  I didn't use them; instead, I stored them for a week and when I had time to make myself a drink ... only to feel the lemons get all slimy, an indication that I kept the lemons a little too long and they became spoiled.  Whoops.

That was a tangent.  I brought home limes from a Mexican restaurant once a few weeks ago, and I think it was just fine.  I think.  So I did it again with limes I took home after eating Mexican yesterday/Monday.  But since they were on the same plate as the quesabirria I ordered, the chunks of lime had bits of onion and cilantro stuck all over it.  I juiced them just now.  I did my best to scrape them off, but I see a couple pieces of cilantro in the measuring cup I pour the juice as I wait 4-10 hours for that juice to ripen.  Is it ideal to have cilantro and onion in my cocktail?  Probably not.  Won't stop me from my cuba libre, though!

Doin' The Quad! And On A Full Stomach!!!

Soccer days don't get much fuller than this -- a quadrupleheader of World Cup Group Stage Matches, each evenly spread out with approximately an hour inbetween.  Games at noon, 3, 6 and 9.  And I am going to be at one place for all four of them.

I am going to try and eat and drink through the day.  But my last meal was last night's birria tacos with ramen.  It didn't look like much, but I had to take the rest of the ramen home with me to eat after about an hour.  I had to relieve myself, and post haste.  I don't know why I got so full: I had only a elote going out to the Mexican craft brewery to watch Brazil and Morocco tie, and like I said in my last blog post, I ate waffles in the morning.  It couldn't have been the beer, or the mango michelada, could it?

Anyway, thing is I feel, well, full.  And I didn't plan on it.  This place has five ethnic-themed hot dogs, and I want to try at least four of them.  The way I'm feeling now, I might not make it.  And that surprises and, to be honest, disappoints me.

Addendum To: Planning World Cup Viewing Where

And complicating all my World Up watch-planning is something I thought of, and just did, this/Saturday morning: The food I have at home.  After I watched the U. S. take it to Paraguay, I'm all in on the World Cup.  Hell, I might take off work to watch Matches.  (I already have one planned for two weeks from now, but I might just take more days off.)  I want to go out every day.  But I shouldn't, because I have milk that's about to go bad, bread that's been in the fridge for two weeks, deli meat that I've barely made a dent on, and frozen waffles and french toast that I should get around to eating.

But dammit, I don't feel like staying home on the weekends and eating them all.  I really, really prefer going out Saturday and Sunday and watching soccer.  Guess that food can wait till the workweek ... but right now I really, really prefer heading out after work to watch soccer at a pub or restaurant, too.  Man, I don't know what I'm going to do.

I was so tuckered out after the USMNT Game that I promptly fell into bed.  Probably conked off around 11 p.m.  Woke up a quarter after 8, totally refreshed.  The one thing I am going to do today is go to this Mexican craft brewery and watch Brazil-Morocco there.  My secondary plan is going to this Mexican place close to me and see if I can watch at least part of Haiti-Scotland there.  They have a TV on, and for some stupid reason it's on a Fox local channel (not Fox News, not the Fox station here in town, but "Fox Local" -- it shows news stories that come from a random series of local telecasts, or at least that's what it appears to be).  I kind of want to know if they take TV requests, and if not, this will be the first World Cup Match I won't be able to follow, either on TV or through the radio.

So this involves a lot of eating out, as you can tell.  And yet I also had a plan to, if I woke up early enough, eat either the frozen waffles or french toast sticks whose boxes I've already opened up.  I just ate the waffles (and chased it down with milk).  I'm not hungry anymore, but because I'm up and because the first WC Game of the day, Qatar-Switzerland, is not until 2, I think I'll go shopping and eat lunch.  I need creamer, but I thought about getting ground meat for spaghetti I might make next week.  But if I'm going out at least thrice next week, what's the point?  And sure, why eat lunch when I'm already not hungry after breakfast?  Good question, but I think I'll still have soup and a sandwich.  Or, I might take the sandwich home and eat it later.  That might be the food I'll have next week ... well, beyond the food I already have at home.

Too Many Oranges

Yesterday/Tuesday evening, helped by the fact that I got out of work early (I had to stop by the local grocery store to get a chicken breast on sale, but even with that I got home earlier than I usually do these days), I ate the final part of the last of five oranges I bought two weeks ago.  I've read on the Internet that you don't want to eat oranges that have been in the fridge for that long, but they tasted like oranges (even though the taste was a tad off) and hey, I haven't gotten sick after eating any of them, including the one yesterday/Tuesday evening.

I bought these at the discount grocery store, so I got, or felt I got, a bargain.  Also, I bought five of them because I wanted to make sure I had enough orange juice to make all the cocktails I wanted to make.  Well, I made one mimosa and one monkey gland, and still I have to eat, oh, three of the five oranges like they were, you know, oranges.  I shouldn't complain; they're a great source of vitamin C, of course.  But I way overestimated the number of oranges I needed for cocktails.  Need to cut back next time.

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Sunday, May 31:

• Fucked ****e.  Maybe I shouldn't have done it after getting wanked by ***e*, but I already promised ****e.  I wish I had given myself more time to recuperate.  Total: $120.
• Saturday the 30th ... said HJ from ***e*.  "Responded" perfectly fine.  Total: $120.
• In the afternoon I went to the barber school to get a shave.  Seeing some from high school whom I haven't seen since high school, and I reckon I should clean myself up a bit, even if I'll have a week's worth of stubble on my face.  With tip: $12.
• I then went to Nelson's Cheese for a chicken wrap, a medium corn bacon chowder, and a bottle of RC Cola.  I said that the corn bacon chowder was a diuretic for the ice cream I had the night before, but it was a very tasty diuretic.  It was expensive, so the I gave back all the change from the $20 I handed over, so I spent: $20.
• On Thursday the 28th I went to the Moonwater Gin Bar, specifically for the sushi pop-up.  I'm still on a high from the yellowtail tuna I had.  While I tipped through the receipt, for some reason the restaurant-within-the-restaurant also had fishbowls out asking for tips for both the itamae and the wait staff.  I kind of think it's overkill, but hey, I was totally happy with everybody and everything there, so I tossed in three bucks in both bowls, so the total comes out to: $6.
• Back to Sunday, May 24 ... I first went to Brit's Pub for EPL "Decision Day."  To celebrate the big spectacle (and big crowd), I got two dishes to go along with my Bloody Mary.  With tip: $53.
• I then went to Bebe Zito to grab ice cream.  These guys don't have pennies (I think), so they do the "nearest nickel" thing, and mind rounded up.  With tip -- and golly, that much for ice cream?!: $8.60.
• See, I went to Bebe Zito for ice cream because I wanted to try an affogato by going next door to Caffetto and ordering a double shot of espresso.  Pour the espresso over the ice cream and voila, affogato!  (This wasn't my idea; one day when I went to Caffetto, the barista told me outside food is allowed and in fact told me this hack.)  With tip: $5.
• On Saturday the 23rd I was also at Brit's Pub, this time for the English Championship play-up Game, won by Hull (on a Goal in Second Half Stoppage Time) over Middlesbrough.  I was going to get a second dish if it were going to Extra Time, so that late tally saved me money.  Still, with what I got (a bacon butty [?] and a Bloody Mary), I spent, with tip: $38 (ETA on June 30 at 1:42 a.m. that the actual amount I spent was $32.  Don't know why I said $38.)
• Later that afternoon, I went to the Loons Match.  Then, after the Tie, I went to Bang Brewing.  It's a nice, humble, easygoing place.  They have great pizza (from a different company).  And they are trying to be sustainable with everything they do, including using the grains for their beer.  I charged the pizza, but I paid cash for the Kernza.  With tip: $9.
• And then I saw that they offer products from this Patagonia Provisions line, items from the Patagonia outdoor wear company that also promote sustainability.  I'll bite; I bought crackers and, even though I swore I'd never eat them and think they're gross on pizza, a tin of anchovies.  Total for both: $11.
• Thursday, May 21 -- it was the very first day of the Kickoff To Summer At The Fair, The Minnesota State Fair.  I saw it as an opportunity to get the fair food I always wanted to get but never got around to getting, get the fair food I usually get so I could try other fair food when the actual State Fair rolls around, and eat all of that without the crazy crowds.  Well, the first thing I did was line up at Amish Annie Donut.  What am I doing?  I mean, the chocolate chip donut was great, but why am I replicating the bad part of the State Fair, and first thing?  The fairgrounds itself, a lot of it cordoned off (BTW, there was no Midway because the rides aren't there), was sparse, actually, so there was room to roam without getting bodied up creepily.  (There are limits to crowds for all four days of this pre-Fair Fair; Saturday and Sunday sold out.)  I went back and forth for both food and drinks and using cash and a credit card.  I used cash for the donut (with tip), cheese curds, a small mini donut beer (with tip), and a Minneapple Pie with cinnamon ice cream.  (For my own sake, I want to note here that I used my credit card for a blue raspberry lemonade from Little Prairie Coffee, a pickle pizza from Rick's, and a Big Fat Bacon, something I've always wanted to try.)  Cash total: $44.
• Back to Sunday the 17th, where I spent my afternoon at Art-A-Whirl, eating and drinking while walking around and looking at art.  I was going to have separate bullet points for every food and drink I bought, but I just realized that, like the Minnesota State Fair, there's nothing stopping me from aggregating all the stuff I consume into one bullet point because this was all for one occasion and one "event," albeit a big one.  So, my OCD satisfied and to spare myself a few more seconds of time, I can tell you that the elote, a special beer from Pryes Brewing just for Art-A-Whirl (with tip), and a can of Coke (also with tip) I paid for with cash to the tune of: $19.
• I will separate donations from victuals and libations.  I saw someone carrying a very light-looking safe on her shoulders.  She was getting the word out about a Narcan first aid kit.  She and the person she was with were soliciting donations, so the second time I saw them, I kicked in: $1.
• Friday, May 15: This is when Art-A-Whirl started, and I bought three pieces of art, two of them with cash, and I feel better of I separated them since they are things that, well, I still have.  In front of this art gallery I patronize was this artist selling small pieces of art.  One of them was an egg chair.  It came disassembled in a small plastic case, like a toy you would get when you put in a quarter in a vending machine, you know?  I found it whimsical enough to buy, even though I assembled it real quick and I think this is a chair only for small eggs.  Regardless, it was cheap: $1.
• I took a break from "arting" and went to Stargazer.  This place may be the hippest part of the Twin Cities for food, and I'm glad I hit Stargazer for the first time in a long time.  One drink, a Stargazer Burger (which actually is the size of a slider), pasta and tip came out to: $48.
• A small parking lot was cleared out for a couple art stalls and a couple pop-ups for food and drink.  The pizza and drink I got (both of which I charged) were great.  But I spied a freezer from this company called Chunk Chunk, and I had to get an ice cream sandwich.  Paid: $7.
• I finally bit the bullet, went back to the art gallery I've been going to for decades, and decided I had the money and the courage to buy a piece of art from the owner, another person I've been acquaintances with for decades.  It is a small framed print which I now have at my work desk.  Yeah, I buy art now.  By the way, I don't know if it's just art, but one does not pay sales tax if you can pay with money.  Cost: $35.

Good through May 31.

Making My Schedule Based On Time, Money, Car Vibes, And Semen

Fitting my schedule to accommodate chores, outings, and time with my stripper girlfriends have just overwhelmed me.  I need to budget my time, I need to make sure I have enough money to do everything I want to do, I'm getting kind of freaked out over driving everywhere because of the obscene price of gasoline, and, most important of all, I need to make sure I'm able to cum on demand.

It's the stripper girlfriends where all of this comes to a head (in a manner of speaking).  I wanted to get with ****e for the longest time, and I thought last weekend was it, but she didn't answer my texts in a timely manner.  Finally, last weekend she said that this weekend was good.  After some back-and-forth, I am supposed to see her tomorrow/Sunday.  Then, ***e* blindsided me by telling me she was in town this weekend and wants to cum visit.  Not a great time, but I slotted her in for this/Saturday morning.  I don't know if my penis can perform back-to-back, but consider ***e* is only here this weekend and I already promised ****e, I kind of have to turn back the clock.

On top of all that, I've been going back-and-forth with my ATF regarding a massage.  I thought Monday would work, but when I texted her that I would be home Monday, my goddamn cellphone auto-corrected it to I would be gone Monday.  I caught it last/Friday night and said that I could be available after the weekend, and she apparently agreed.  Phew!  (By the way, if my ATF surprises me by doing something freaky, it won't matter that I shot the day before.  I know that, even in my advanced age, surprising trysts with women for the first time will have me ejaculating left and right!)

Now, beyond having fun (which seems kind of forced right now), I have things I need to do -- stuff like getting a shave, replenishing my alcohol, and seeing my junior prom date at the cemetery.  But before all that, I have stuff around the house I need to do -- stuff like getting my irrigation system up and running and, more importantly, cleaning my outdoor condenser unit.  Summer jumped me this week, and even though I partly am backing off on turning on the air conditioner because I don't want to spend money (being the primary caretaker of a house now turns you into a miser, believe me), I think it's high time I clean the outdoor condenser.  After all, my ATF should be giving me a rubdown on Monday, and I want her to be as comfortable as possible.  Running a fan won't be enough to cool her down, and besides, I want to close the windows in case she touches me to the point where I start screaming.

But I've never done it before.  I've looked through the YouTube videos, and I know I should clean out the debris that's inside it, then use a cleaner to clean the coils from the inside out, then use a hose to rinse it from the inside out.  But, they suggest I cut the power.  And even though I have turned off both the thermostat and the AC, I have no idea how to cut off power from the circuit breaker right next to the condenser unit.  I open up the cover and all I see is a metal loop.  What the hell is that?  Oh, well.  I think I am going to try and clean everything after I just turn off the AC and thermostat.

Oh, wait ... I can't hose the unit down after I clean everything because I haven't connected the water yet.  And I can't do that until I screw the nut into the, um, thingy that was pulled out in the fall in order to winterize our irrigation system.  I tried screwing it by hand, but I can't screw it in tight, so some time this/Saturday afternoon I am going to get a wrench and twist it in.  Then, I can use the water, and then I can begin cleaning the condenser because I can then rinse it.  Will I get this all done in one afternoon?  Who knows?  I might screw up, or hesitate at a step and decide screw it, I'll just turn the whole AC on.  I'm keeping my options open.

How does driving fit into this?  Shaving involves me driving in one direction, shopping for alcohol and visiting my deceased prom date means I need to drive in the other.  I do not want to drive both directions this/Saturday afternoon, especially if I need to do this thing with the condenser and irrigation system.  Since I'm seeing a friend next week, I think I'll get my shave and do everything else next weekend.  I think.  I'm keeping my options open!

Yeah, I'm busy.  And I haven't even mentioned sleep.  I want to budget one day where I can sleep in.  But I have to get up at a certain time to make sure I go out to the bank to get money today/Saturday to pay ***e*, and then I have to wake up at a certain time tomorrow/Sunday to drive over to ****e's place because she asked me to.  I won't like being woken up by an alarm up to a dozen days in a row (through next Saturday, when I'm supposed to meet this long-lost friend for which I'm getting my face shaved).

Gosh, I'm dealing with a lot of moving pieces I need to fit over the next two weeks -- and that's just for now, who knows what else is coming down the pike.  I know it's not serious in the big picture, but right now it feels serious to me.

Well, I'm still drinking way too much alcohol; drank a Bloody Mary for the second consecutive day.  But hey, at least ****e finally got back to me this morning.  It would've been too late anyway, but she said next weekend would be better.  And then she sexted me a picture of herself in a dress with convenient holes, shall we say.

So, next weekend is it.  But I have this nagging feeling she'll change her mind, damn it.

I'm A Desperate, Horny, Forgetful Goddamn Lush

So I'm starting this blog post at a quarter to 4 in the morning.  I'm doing what I want to do over an extended holiday -- staying up, surfing the Internet, listening to music (this time terrestrial radio on my boombox).  But my cellphone is plugged into my power bank.  The fuckin' thing is pissing away energy.  I juiced it up to 80% last nigh, then unplugged it like you're supposed to, but then within, oh, half an hour of active doomscrolling, it couldn't even hold its charge for that long.  When it dipped to 76%, I plugged it in again, hoping I would unplug it once it reached 80% again.  But I knew there was a chance I'd be distracted by looking at my laptop, and of course I did.  It soared well past 80%, which I hear is bad for my phone (even though it's already in not-great shape).  At this point, if it's already past 80%, I might as well charge it all the way so I can delay when I need to charge it up again.

That's the forgetfulness I hate about me that reared its ugly head over the past 24 hours.  This past evening I made myself a cocktail, a margarita featuring juice from a lime that I bought over a week ago that may or may not have spoiled.  I drink too much already, so I'm trying to hew to the "1-2-3" rule Dr. Vivek Murthy recommended in his last days as President Biden's Surgeon General.  The problem, I realized while drinking the margarita, is that that was my fourth drink of the day.  I started off with a bloody mary in the morning while watching the English Championship Play-Up Match (won by Hull over Middlesbrough in a 95the Minute Goal), then had a cider at the United FC Match, then had a beer with a Farina Rossa pizza after the Match at a craft brewery.  And this is on the heels of drinking three drinks Friday ... and two drinks Thursday ... and two (or was it three?) drinks Wednesday.  All I can say is, I drink a lot.

Oh, MNUFC has a program where you can drop off pop tops at their waste receptacles.  I have a pile of them, and I was going to bring them with to drop them off, but I forgot to put them into my cargo pants.  I didn't leave them in my cargo pants because, unlike my denim jeans, my cargo pants don't have that fifth "watch pocket," and I didn't like the feeling of those pop tops jangling around inside a big pocket on my cargos and potentially falling out if I'm sleeping in my car and put my legs parallel to the ground.  But all day yesterday I reminded myself to put those pop tops in my pants.  But I didn't.  Oh, and then I took out the pop top on my Wild State cider intending to deposit it ... and I fucking forget to do that, too.  I meant to be rid of these pop tops, and I wound up collecting more.  And even though there will be a MNUFC2 Match at Allianz Field in one Month, the Loons are off because of the World Cup for two Months.  Fuckin' great.

And all the while I've been trying to see if I can arrange a fuck session with ****e.  Earlier last week I texted her; no answer.  I texted her again, saying I am free either today or tomorrow; she just said, "ok."  She gets this way sometimes, minimally responsive and vague.  I asked for clarity while eating pizza and eating beer last night, but she has yet to respond.  I'm horny enough that I want to make booty texts to all of my stripper girlfriends (even though a lot of them are out of town this Memorial Weekend, dammit) so I can get some lovin' this long, lonely weekend.  But ... fuckin' A, ****e is the only one who'll let me inside her, so I gotta give her every chance to get back to me.  But what if she's on one of her episodes where she ghosts me?

This weekend is supposed to be fun.  In many ways, it is.  And I am seeking every which way to find the negative in all of this.  Maybe that's a sign that I should fix myself instead of just rationalizing my decadence and inattention as part of enjoying the long holiday.  Or, maybe I should just say fuck it all.