The Autumn Equinox Is Killing Me

I love fall.  I really do.  But that might just be my mind, because my body is not adapting well, at least I don't think.

I had enough sleep over the weekend, and yet because I only slept about four hours overnight Sunday night, I felt really, really achy at work yesterday/Monday.  Also, not for nothing, my co-worker had a bad, bad case of the sniffles.  She put on a mask, thank Buddha (I have a stash, she asked for one), but it ain't no N95 or KN95, so let's see if I'm sick, too.

I had to go this place I was at Thursday because I have a deal that expires today/Tuesday.  There was a deal that was for one day only on Thursday.  Before these two times, the last time I was at any place at this chain maybe was a decade ago, and that was in the western metro at a place I think has closed down now.  Anyway, I got there and stayed for two hours while watching Monday Night Football.  The deal was a free full order of garlic bread so long as I buy some other food, and stupidly (even though it is good), I went for a personal-sized pizza.  I didn't finish either.  And when I brought it home, I fell back into my doomscrolling stupor, then went to bed just after watching the weather forecast.

I got up for good around 6 (an hour ago as I type this), but I must have been tossing and turning in bed for, oh, an hour before that, so even though I am awake, I think I've been up since 5.  My body feels better.  But last night I did what I've done often in the past month or so.  Sure, going to bed may be healthier for me, but my parents' coming back is looming, and I haven't done a damn thing.  I need to start cleaning up, but I had a chance to do that on Sunday because I stayed in all day, but I chose to do the laundry, start (but not finish) my receipts, eat and watch football.  I will bang my head against a wall the moment my parents tell me they're coming home because I had all this time to put myself in a better position and I haven't done it.  Right now I'm sorting my week as to when I will have time to start doing that, and I still feel the pull of going out and, say, watching a play or a movie.

Maybe the oncoming winter is killing me.  Or maybe it's my bad decisions.  Or maybe it's the specter of my parents coming home, like a bleepin' sword of Damocles.  Or probably, it's all of the above.

I have stayed out late a lot, especially lately.  And even though I endeavor to do things once I get home, I am usually too tired.  Well, I often eat and/or drink, and that makes me too tired to do things I should do -- the laundry, the dishes, my stuff, you know, the usual things I complain about.

And today is one of those nights.  I was going to go to sleep and blog post something in the morning because I didn't have anything to write about.  Well, I do now ... and now that I've done it, as pithy as it is, I am going to try and sleep.

RIP, Psychologist

So I attended the funeral of my therapist yesterday/Friday afternoon.

It was raining all day -- not the ideal weather conditions to travel to a church and then attend the post-funeral reception, but it was the appropriate mood.  I didn't know anyone there except his secretary, but I was allowed to just stand and pace and look around in the church and wait for the ceremony to begin.

Nice-looking church.  Churches are always nice looking.  I'm not Catholic, but some of the psalms and beats and call-and-responses were actually familiar to me.  Then I remembered that I attended the funeral of my sister's best friend's mother back in December.  She too was Catholic, so I remembered what I had seen yesterday from back in December.  And then it dawned on me that I've been to two funerals within the past 12 months, and that I may be going to a lot more as I get older.

I will never know what to say, or how to behave, at a celebration of life memorial.  I mean, what can you say?

I saw the family march out in the steady rain to bury him.  It was not my place to accompany them, so I drove to his son's townhouse for the reception, then waited about a half-hour to make sure I saw people park and go to what I hoped was the right address.  (In the meantime I fell asleep, or at least tried to; a couple of times, as I was about to doze off, I could feel my Adam's apple press up against my collar and tie, and I felt this fear that I was drowning shoot up inside me, and I woke up again.  Wearing a collar and tie will always feel like I'm choking myself.)

Feels tacky to say this, but I will: The son has a nice place.  For a townhome whose driveway they split with another family, it's really spacious.  The food was decked out in what looked like a small indoor racquetball court.  I could totally see a family live here.  Heck, with the downstairs wet bar, I could see myself living here, even though it might be a big too spacious for just myself.  There, I did what a person who was not the deceased's immediate circle would do: Eat and keep to myself.  Eventually the daughter-in-law introduced myself, and that was nice to not feel like a total stranger.  I wanted to shake hands with her husband, the son, but on my way out (I didn't want to stay too long) I did what I thought was the absolutely necessary thing to do and give my condolences to my therapist's wife, the widow.  I remember a couple times calling him  where she picked up and handed the phone to him.  She said she knows who I was and remembers him raving about me.  I can't imagine being one of the people he remembers so fondly, but that's nice to know.

---

Seeing a man so loved made me tear up a little at the church.  It is jarring to see his two sons break down as they memorialized him.  And it is sad to watch, but it's a testament that he was so loved and valued, and what more can you want from a life?  I only know him from our relationship, but it was at the church where I saw how many friends he made, and how many lives he touched.  He was a hell of a guy who did a whole bunch of nice things, for his family and his professional community.  And his patients too, like me.

I have friends, but I don't confide in them like I did with my psychotherapist.  There are things I've told him I haven't told my family.  It's mostly my fears and sexual urges, and frankly, those are things I am not completely certain I can tell my friends, and definitely not my family.  (Sidetrack: Those things, especially my sexual urges, I would totally tell my stripper girlfriends.  But nearly all of them do not seem to want that level of emotional intimacy I am ready to give them at the drop of a hat.  That favoritism is something I think I told my shrink.)  And through all my rants and paranoia and erotic fantasies and violent ideations, for the 10-5 years I had known him, he just ... listened.  And that's what I miss about him the most.  He was a sounding board, someone I could not only talk to but talk at, and he just listened to me without judgement.  That isn't a healthy relationship, but that is definitely what my damaged, damned soul needed, to be listened to without judgement.  OK, so his advice the past several times we spoke over the phone were strange and not productive.  But that doesn't take away the fact that over the years he was someone I could talk to, and he helped, and tried to help, me when I needed someone to speak to in private.  I don't know if I can find another one like him again.

RIP, sir.

So for the second consecutive day and night, the juice I had prepared for a cocktail I thought I was going to make has been sitting, or rotting, in the refrigerator till the next day because I got home from something I was doing in the evening and I was too tired to make the drink.  Coinciding with my penchant these days for falling asleep at a decent time and actually resting for an appropriate amount of hours, I'm scared that this is a sign that 1) I will develop Alzheimer's and 2) I should stop drinking, which is not good since I bought some spirits yesterday.  What to do?

I'll leave it at that.

I Definitely Have Brain Rot

Woke up this morning to the sound of my sprinklers going.  Now, lately I've (or my body has) gotten into a pattern of going to sleep and waking early (at least when compared to when I usually go to bed).  But this/Sunday morning, man, I think I would've been able to sleep in ... if not for the damn sprinklers being my alarm clock.  I don't need an alarm clock this morning, especially since I did need one yesterday/Saturday because I was working.

The sprinklers were on because I turned on the sprinkler system yesterday/Saturday because I wanted them to water the lawns while I was off to work and not in the house.  I just forgot to shut the system off last night so it wouldn't wake me up.  And I forgot because I have brain rot.  I got home late from dinner after work last/Saturday night, and sure, I went off for some late night Taco Bell, too.  Oh, yeah, there was a lot of soccer I was watching, too.  (Hey, the Loons won -- whadathunkit!)  But I spent the vast majority of my evening doomscrolling.  Goddammit, man, my mind has atrophied not due to old age but because I'm on my fucking phone all the time, filling my brain up with short dopamine hits of what gets me off.  I think that if I wasn't so addicted to my phone, I would be way more attentive at doing things, like chores, or just remembering stuff, like turning off the water sprinkler system.  Shit, I have a bunch of things I should do now, and yet my cellphone is just waiting for me like a dealer in the alley.  And of course I'm going back to him -- definitely some time today, and possibly right after I blog post this.

I have a lot of stuff to do -- going through my stuff, the laundry, etc.  And I do want to fix the sprinklers; after I did a couple heads in one section of the front lawn last weekend (at least I think they're fixed), I want to try to fix the other heads in the front lawn.  But I wanted to do it on my own time ... well, my body's time, but my body was forced to wake up to the sound of the sprinklers out front, and I think because of that, I will be tired later on this evening when I want to go out.  May be overdramatizing, but maybe not.

Need to stop looking at screens and start looking at real life.

The Triumphant Return Of VEF!!!

OK, so I was about to do a blog post where I fell asleep at a decent time again (if you count 11:30 as a decent time) and trying to figure out when and how to fit in dropping off the wood pallet at my unit, getting a massage, going to my favorite speakeasy, and having visits from two stripper girlfriends, all before the State Fair begins.  (Still haven't figured it out yet; I might blog post about it later this week.)

But the days has already started out great, because VEF is back!  It was gone for over a month, and my God, it's like a druggie being in withdrawal.  Around the same time I saw a bunch of other porn sites put up those "I am 18+" verification boxes before you'd get to the homepage, and I thought VEF getting suddenly taken down had something to do with that.  I don't know all the details as to why and how, but that was not the case here.  All I know is I was up at around 5:30 this morning, I needed to blog post, I thought I would take another shot at VEF, and voila! it's back!!

I hadn't realized how much I've relied on VEF.  As other things remain out of place, I am so happy that I have this back in my life!!!

Waste The Day

I just wish I had the motivation right now to work on my stuff.  But other things get in the way.  Stuff like other chores.  For example, right after I got home (from a long day at work), I immediately (well, OK, I ate some nuts first) mowed the lawn, even though the weather has been so dry I was mowing over brown spots.  I thought I needed to mow if only because I hadn't done it in about a month.  I did that instead of, for example, going through my stuff.

I think I'm doing this because I think I have time.  I don't know if that's the case.  My parents may say they're coming home at a moment's notice.  It would be nice for me to have everything packed up and ready to go into storage, also at a moment's notice.  Shoot, at this point I would settle for immediately knowing which boxes I would put my stuff in, throw everything into those boxes, and then leave.  I would take that as a plan.  But I haven't gotten that far yet.  Instead, I'm mowing and eating and doomscrolling.

I work early tomorrow.  After work I want to get my hair cut because it's getting so long I have to wait an hour before it dries.  Maybe after I take a shower I can tackle my stuff.  Or, I'll take a nap.  I'll probably take a nap and waste yet another day that I could've used doing something productive.

Kinda Fucked Up Now

I woke up after I threw up a little in my mouth.  Ever have that happen to you?  Not fun.

That happened around 5:11.  And that happened after I woke up around 4:30, which happened after I shut off the lights to see if I would fall asleep around 12:30.  And I did that even though I juiced half a lime (25 mL -- yeah, waiting for the lime to warm up to room temperature seems to help a lot!) at 8 p.m.  That means I had till about 6 a.m. to use it all before it went bad.  I failed to do so; I am drinking a Suffering Bastard right now, which I made around 5:30, but I have 10 mL I still have to use.  And even though it's "spoiled," I will still use it, right after I finish my first cocktail at around 6:30.  Can't waste bad lime juice.

And yes, I am day drinking.  Well, looks like dawn drinking.  I admit that this is kind of fucked up -- drinking in the morning, sleeping at odd hours, waking up after intermittent sleep and, of course, throwing up in my mouth.  At least I'm not working or anything, right?

I should do something productive, like clean up or something, now.

I know it's been hotter, and I know it's been more humid.  But I swear, when I tried going to sleep in my car at work yesterday/Tuesday afternoon, I never felt more sweltering in my life.  I knew as soon as I closed my eyes that the sweat would form all over my body and that I would be drowning in it before long.  I didn't get a second of shut-eye.  So glad I conked off at around 9 Monday (I think) and woke up around 5:30 Tuesday morning.  And since I have the early shift today/Wednesday, I think my body is still good enough for only four hours of sleep ... but I still should publish this quick and go to bed!

Great that I got a good night's sleep.  And in a vacuum, I'm not against going to bed at 10:30 and waking up at 6.  But when the only thing you have to do is a party at 2, and the thing you want to do is fixing sprinkler heads and it might have rained overnight, you're not wanting to do anything, even if I have as much energy as I'll ever have.

Well, I do have to water the plants.  And wash some dishes, like I wanted to last night.  And, you know, if it rained overnight, I won't have to really fix the sprinklers, do I?

All of a sudden, whoo! I'm tired.  I'll ... think about doing something and then either do it or not do it.

Sleeping Like Normal People Might Be A Thing I Do Now

I could have stayed up to watch the Matt Damon/Noah Kahan rerun of Saturday Night Live, but the cold open was him acting as Brett Kavanaugh having a beer with Colin Jost's Pete Hegseth and Aziz Ansari's Kash Patel, and ... well, I know they aim for parody, but I just did not want to see them, so I didn't see it.

So, after doomscrolling, I shut my eyes.  That was around 11:30.  And I woke up around 7.  I was fully energized and also a tad upset I didn't get to the things I wanted to do last night.  But I had time to do them this morning -- watering the plants, watering the lawn, going out for groceries (in particular a banana; I had time to eat cereal for breakfast!), doing the dishes and, now, doing the laundry.

And I'm pooped.  But I still have time to blog post for the day, then go out to get some pop and maybe some ginger beer and/or ale), then go home and nap before The World Cup Final.  Maybe sleeping like normal people is not only a thing I do now, but something I like to do.

Water-Centered Plans Ruined By Sleep

Before draining (or attempting to drain) my water heater, I wanted to do three things last night: Shower, wash dishes, and wash clothes.  But I fell asleep around 10:30 and woke up around 4:30, and since I really want to do this this morning/right now, I can't do any of those three things.  Not showering sucks the most; I got sweaty again due to the hot weather yesterday/Friday, and I fell asleep on my sheets without wearing a shirt, so I know that the sheet has absorbed all my sweat, but I don't want to wash it, so I'm just going to continue to sleep on it until I just can't take it anymore, which could be up to two months.

Well, I'm sticking to my plan of draining this thing this morning, so I'm going to do it now.  Like I already said, wish me luck.

The Taste Of Throw-Up In Your Mouth, Mmmmm!

And that's what woke me up.  Again I stayed out to watch soccer and so I plopped into bed as soon as I got home.  (Didn't help that the start of England-Mexico was delayed an hour due to storms, but maybe it wouldn't've made a difference.)  And I think I would've gotten a full night's sleep if, about 3 1/2 hours into my rest, I threw up in my mouth.  I've had an acid reflux attack like that before, but this tasted different.  Maybe it was the fact it woke me up, but the bile in this one was ugh.  And because I woke up, I haven't been able to go back to sleep since.

Going backwards, yesterday/Sunday I had water, chips and salsa, a couple beers, a personal-sized pizza, a mole stout, and three tacos.  They say you shouldn't immediately lie down after you eat and drink.  I want to say it was an hour from my last sip (which was the water) to conking off, but maybe that wasn't enough.  Or, by the pizza taste in the bile, maybe it was the fact that I ate too much, again.

Oh Yeah, This Is A Lazy Day

I got home last night from watching a World Cup Tripleheader and, after taking the minivan out to dump my trash and to deliver some mail, I promptly fell asleep around, I think, midnight or 12:30.  I woke up around 7, lolled in bed, fell back asleep around 9, then woke up just in time for Morocco-Canada.

Took a nap from around 2:45 till around 3:30.  You'd think I would have enough time to water the plants, but since I watered yesterday, I don't feel the pressure to, even though I'm staying in the whole day.

I have decided to take a "no sweat" mindset today.  Totally relaxed.  Happy Independence Day!

Golf Or Soccer?

Tonight was where my paralysis is at its worst.  I don't know what to do between two things I want to do, and the variables are either so even or so unknowable that I am completely a waste.  Since I got home (early) from World Cup viewing I took a nap and surfed the Internet.  All because I cannot decide if I want to drive all the way to Chaska to watch the Women's PGA Championship in Hazeltine, or watch the first Round of 32 World Cup Matchup between Canada and South Africa at this new Mediterranean place close by me.

One of the main things I use to determine what I should do is figuring out the chances I'll be able to do it in the future.  While the World Cup is every four Years (and I'm just watching it on TV), who knows the next time a golf major comes to town.  Using that factor, I should be going to the Women's PGA, and it's a no-brainer.

But there are a lot of things that are making me balk.  One is the weather.  It's supposed to get very humid starting today/Sunday, with dewpoints bursting through the seventies in the afternoon.  I am not a fan of humid weather, and I don't know if I can stomach sweating through my clothes for a few hours (at least).  Compare that with when I went to Sunday Singles at the Ryder Cup, which was also held at Hazeltine.  That was held in late September, and there was no heat or the humidity to contend with then.

What may be more of an annoyance, however, is that I don't necessarily find watching golf in person all that enjoyable.  I remember I went to the 3M Classic (when it was part of the Seniors Tour, not the current 3M Open for the PGA) a few times because it was at the course close by and it was free.  That was in the dog days of summer, and my goodness, it was hot.  I was able to endure, but it kept dawning on me that I'm doing a lot of walking around and a lot of sweating, and it overpowered any joy in watching great golfers play.  Also, and this may be too obvious, but golf courses are big.  You have to walk miles if you want to watch the whole thing.  And I don't know the first thing of the layout of Hazeltine.  Sure, there will be maps of the course, but I'm bad at directions.  Also, I don't know who I want to follow.  Should I just park myself at the 18th green?  What if the tournament is decided before then?  And how about the sightlines?  Will I be able to see anything besides the backs of people's heads?

Still, it's a major.  And while I won't know exactly how it'll feel tomorrow, I kept checking the forecast and it has said, for at least the past few days, that temperatures will hit 80 in the afternoon and the sky will be cloudy.  Considering the dewpoint, if the forecast called for sun, no way would I go.  I would not be able to deal with it being that humid and having the Sun beat down on me.  But overcast?  Yeah, it'll be 80 degrees and it'll feel swampy.  But I won't feel like I'm frying from the Sun's rays.  I might have a chance to at least tough it out.

There are other determinations, too.  If I'm going to watch the soccer Match, the place is so, so close.  I could drive the minivan and give my car a rest.  And speaking of my car -- I finally had the chance to check the oil in my car inbetween Games yesterday/Saturday, and the damn stick was dry.  I poured half a quart of oil and checked later, and then I saw some oil on the dipstick.  But it kind of freaked me out, and that is making me think I should give my car a break.  Finally, I really, really do need to do chores (going through my stuff and washing dishes mostly), and I won't do it if I have a 40-minute drive back from Carver County and am too pooped to do anything once I get home.

Still, it's a major.  So I am going to sleep on it and, depending on when I wake up and what the sky looks like and how hot it feels, I'll either make the drive to watch the best female golfers in the world play in my neck of the woods or I'll just puss out and watch soccer while eating shawarma ten minutes away from me.  These are the days where I want some deity to give me a sign that definitely tells me to do this or that.  Why can't I have that?

Am I Getting Old ... Or Am I Becoming Normal?

Yet another day where I went to bed at a relatively sane time.  After work (which was light by my standards) I had dinner with a group at a Ecuadorian place close by me, and then I went home to watch a pair of World Cup Games.  I was feeling fatigued at night, again, close to the end of Paraguay-Tunisia, so once that Match got done at about ten past midnight, I eschewed Zynga Poker (broke my streak, oh well), turned off the TV, and turned over in my bed.

And I woke up around 7:30.  Eek!  This is a good thing in two ways.  One is the, you know, I get to act like a normal person thing.  For another, I have time to do some chores before my day begins.  I watered the plants and, finally, started working on the pile of receipts I've accumulated.  I can do all that because I have the energy to do it.  I've found that, lately, once I get home, no matter how early after work I get home, I don't have the energy to undertake things I need to do around the house, like washing dishes or getting the laundry done.  But about 7 1/2 hours of sleep has got me feeling like I'm on caffeine, so I now have what it takes to actually accomplish things I need to do.

The problem is that I woke up too early.  While I am glad I've gotten around to doing the things I need to do, I care much more about the things I want to do today, namely going to watch the World Cup at a bar, then going to an MNUFC2 Match, then seeing my ATF at My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Version), then cashing on this KFC deal I have through T-Mobile.  I need to get on the snake around 11, and I might not be back for a half-day.  Can I get a nap in before I do all this?  Will it matter if I fall asleep at the club in front of my ATF?

We will see.  You know, one of the chores I need and have the energy to do because I got close to a full night's sleep is this blog post. I'm happy for that, too.

Oh, the title I put for this blog post isn't followed up by anything I've typed here.  Well, I guess I am wondering if I'm getting old or becoming normal, especially if I continue to get tired earlier and earlier in the night.  But honestly, I am only wondering about this until I publish this blog post.  Then I need to either continue going through my receipts or take a nap.

Well, I did The Quad, and once I did, I went home and immediately went to bed, around 11:30.  Got up to pee once at a quarter to 4, but conked back off and promptly had a nightmare about something I can't remember now.  Was pretty much up for good at a quarter to 7, or maybe 7.  All in all, very recuperating, and the reason why I am blog posting this morning ... and why I need to leave now.

So the thing about going out most evenings is that you don't have time to rest, and at some point the sleep debt comes due.  I paid this week: I think last night was my second night over the past week where I fell asleep before midnight and woke up in the morning.  But I was, and am, glad to.  Sure, I am off schedule in Zynga Poker and there are alumni things I should have done but didn't.  But I'm refreshed and feel healthy, and I think that's a bit more important.

And more important than that, I have energy to do the things I need to do, such as finally clean the dishes that really need cleaning.  I should do that now.  Of course, I'll use up all my energy doing that and then I'll need to nap.  But, since I woke up so early in the morning, I'll have time for a nap before I need to go downtown this afternoon.  I think my timing is down!

Making My Schedule Based On Time, Money, Car Vibes, And Semen

Fitting my schedule to accommodate chores, outings, and time with my stripper girlfriends have just overwhelmed me.  I need to budget my time, I need to make sure I have enough money to do everything I want to do, I'm getting kind of freaked out over driving everywhere because of the obscene price of gasoline, and, most important of all, I need to make sure I'm able to cum on demand.

It's the stripper girlfriends where all of this comes to a head (in a manner of speaking).  I wanted to get with ****e for the longest time, and I thought last weekend was it, but she didn't answer my texts in a timely manner.  Finally, last weekend she said that this weekend was good.  After some back-and-forth, I am supposed to see her tomorrow/Sunday.  Then, ***e* blindsided me by telling me she was in town this weekend and wants to cum visit.  Not a great time, but I slotted her in for this/Saturday morning.  I don't know if my penis can perform back-to-back, but consider ***e* is only here this weekend and I already promised ****e, I kind of have to turn back the clock.

On top of all that, I've been going back-and-forth with my ATF regarding a massage.  I thought Monday would work, but when I texted her that I would be home Monday, my goddamn cellphone auto-corrected it to I would be gone Monday.  I caught it last/Friday night and said that I could be available after the weekend, and she apparently agreed.  Phew!  (By the way, if my ATF surprises me by doing something freaky, it won't matter that I shot the day before.  I know that, even in my advanced age, surprising trysts with women for the first time will have me ejaculating left and right!)

Now, beyond having fun (which seems kind of forced right now), I have things I need to do -- stuff like getting a shave, replenishing my alcohol, and seeing my junior prom date at the cemetery.  But before all that, I have stuff around the house I need to do -- stuff like getting my irrigation system up and running and, more importantly, cleaning my outdoor condenser unit.  Summer jumped me this week, and even though I partly am backing off on turning on the air conditioner because I don't want to spend money (being the primary caretaker of a house now turns you into a miser, believe me), I think it's high time I clean the outdoor condenser.  After all, my ATF should be giving me a rubdown on Monday, and I want her to be as comfortable as possible.  Running a fan won't be enough to cool her down, and besides, I want to close the windows in case she touches me to the point where I start screaming.

But I've never done it before.  I've looked through the YouTube videos, and I know I should clean out the debris that's inside it, then use a cleaner to clean the coils from the inside out, then use a hose to rinse it from the inside out.  But, they suggest I cut the power.  And even though I have turned off both the thermostat and the AC, I have no idea how to cut off power from the circuit breaker right next to the condenser unit.  I open up the cover and all I see is a metal loop.  What the hell is that?  Oh, well.  I think I am going to try and clean everything after I just turn off the AC and thermostat.

Oh, wait ... I can't hose the unit down after I clean everything because I haven't connected the water yet.  And I can't do that until I screw the nut into the, um, thingy that was pulled out in the fall in order to winterize our irrigation system.  I tried screwing it by hand, but I can't screw it in tight, so some time this/Saturday afternoon I am going to get a wrench and twist it in.  Then, I can use the water, and then I can begin cleaning the condenser because I can then rinse it.  Will I get this all done in one afternoon?  Who knows?  I might screw up, or hesitate at a step and decide screw it, I'll just turn the whole AC on.  I'm keeping my options open.

How does driving fit into this?  Shaving involves me driving in one direction, shopping for alcohol and visiting my deceased prom date means I need to drive in the other.  I do not want to drive both directions this/Saturday afternoon, especially if I need to do this thing with the condenser and irrigation system.  Since I'm seeing a friend next week, I think I'll get my shave and do everything else next weekend.  I think.  I'm keeping my options open!

Yeah, I'm busy.  And I haven't even mentioned sleep.  I want to budget one day where I can sleep in.  But I have to get up at a certain time to make sure I go out to the bank to get money today/Saturday to pay ***e*, and then I have to wake up at a certain time tomorrow/Sunday to drive over to ****e's place because she asked me to.  I won't like being woken up by an alarm up to a dozen days in a row (through next Saturday, when I'm supposed to meet this long-lost friend for which I'm getting my face shaved).

Gosh, I'm dealing with a lot of moving pieces I need to fit over the next two weeks -- and that's just for now, who knows what else is coming down the pike.  I know it's not serious in the big picture, but right now it feels serious to me.

Tingling/Numbness Now Scaring Me

Just want to put down for the record that there has been tingling and numbness I've been feeling -- mostly in my right hand and wrist and forearm, but really everywhere, for the past ... oh, seven days or so.  It's carpal tunnel, even though I feel a lot of pain on the corner of my wrist just below the pinky, if you're asking me to pinpoint one thing.

I think this is a combination of factors coming home to roost -- having my work mouse too far from my reach, all those times I've had to grip an exacto knife to cut open packages at work, my nasty habit of holding up my cellphone with one of my chargers attached to it, and lying down while looking up at my laptop, which I too hold with my hands and thus with my forearms holding it up.

Keep doing exercises all week, but it's not working out.  I still feel this general numbness that sticks around at times, and in certain gripping positions I feel a sharp pain at the corner of my wrist.  I sleep with a brace on now, and it sometimes works.  I've begun to take pills, too, but I don't know if that will work.

Honestly, as far-fetched as this sounds, I'm just hoping that it's some virus, or some blip that my body is going to take care of, and this will all be gone in a week.  But I've had this pain, although in a slightly less acute and frequent form, for months now.  This might get worse, I'm afraid.