May Justice Come To Assholes

Not just those who do bad, but assholes who insult in order to gain and keep power.  And I'm not talking about "karma," but "justice" -- not God's judgement, but consequences meted out by us, the people.

That's what I've been thinking about the past decade, minus four.

So That's Why The Rear Seat Wouldn't Stay In Place!/Poor Pen/How Angry My Father Gets

I think this happened, I think, shortly after my parents left.

I have my back seats arranged, well, strangely.  The back seat on the driver's side is put all the way down.  That way I can throw a blanket on top of it so that, when I crawl into my car to sleep for lunch at work, I can just get into the passenger seat, reach over and bring it up to the front.  Also because I need to sleep at work, I lift up the bottom of the back seat on the passenger side.  That way I can completely recline the passenger-side front seat so I can rest.  It's a perfect system.

For reasons I now forget, I had to fold down the back seat on the passenger side so that it looks normal.  (I think I did this at work, even though that's immaterial to this story.)  There is a bar on the bottom of the seat that is supposed to latch to an anchor on the floor, and for the life of me I couldn't get it to latch.  Finally, I looked at the floor ... and I saw almost a dozen bits of a pen, just strewn on the floor mat.  It wasn't just snapped in two; it was obliterated.

Seeing this, I think I realized how that came to be.  During a time when my parents were still home, I wanted to lift up the rear seat on the passenger side because I wanted to put my computer bag there.  I could have just stood it up against the laid-down seat, but I guess I was going somewhere where I wasn't completely sure my car wouldn't get broken into, so my plan was to fold up the seat, lie my laptop bag flat on the floor, and put my car shades on it so no one could see it.

I distinctly remember laying the computer bag flat with one of its pouches unzipped.  It was a pouch in which I keep my pens.  I also distinctly remember thinking I should zip it up because I don't want anything to roll out of the bag, but I thought nah, it won't happen.  Well, I'm guessing that poor pen did roll out of the bag and onto the floor, and when I grabbed my laptop bag, I didn't notice it got loose.

I don't remember this part, but I have to think that at a later day, without my knowledge, My Father put that back seat down.  That pen must have gotten into the anchor, preventing him from locking the seat in.  The only way he thought he could get it to go down and stay down was through force, so he just pushed down the seat repeatedly and violently, not knowing that the reason the seat wouldn't anchor was because that pen was in the way.  So he basically broke a pen into pieces by smashing it with the bar of a car seat.

I get the frustration.  But I'm hung up on how much force, and really how much violence, you would need to destroy a pen just because a car seat wouldn't secure.  But then again, I could see My Father being so angry to the point of using brute force to get what he wants.  I've seen it.  I've been a victim of it.  Preposterous or not, seeing those pen remnants is a reminder of how vicious My Father could be.

I will zip up the pouches on my computer bag from now on.

Ice Out Date: March 5

Golly, I just realized that now, when I say "ice out," it has a whole different connotation.  I don't mean those thugs who are kidnapping non-White people and murdering observers.  I have an annual tradition (sort of) where I note the day there is no more snow on the ground in the front yard.  There can be snow and ice in the back yard and the sides of my house (and I checked yesterday/Thursday and there are), but I declare no more snow once I no longer see it in the front yard.  And I saw none when I came home from work yesterday/Thursday.  So the ice (actual) out date is March 5.

What Would I Do?

Maybe I have to face the truth.  Maybe the reason I avoid venturing out during the day, or fear getting stopped by these assholes while driving, or run through my mind what I would do if I see someone getting abducted, is because I am scared of what I would say and do ... or not say or do.

I have proof that I am a citizen.  But it looks like these motherfuckers don't give a solitary fuck about that.  If they don't, and they decide to haul me in, what would I do then?  But there's something way more sinister than that.  It sounds as though these pricks insult you to your face in an effort to get you going.  I have a temper.  Could I be baited into saying something or doing something that'll be justification for getting taken away?  Absolutely.  Now, I have to remember that these pieces of shit have guns and therefore hold all the cards.  It might not matter what I say or do, or don't say or do.  They'll do whatever they want, at that time, just because they fucking want to.  And yet, I wonder if some of it would be "my fault" if I lose it.

And then there's the other side.  What if I get stopped in my car or on the street, and when they ask for proof of citizenship, even though I don't have to (and I have heard conflicting advice on this), I give them that proof?  And let's say they let me go.  Frankly, I would be relieved I wouldn't be kidnapped.  But what I did in order to remain a free man is to knuckle under this fascist régime's orders.  I would be complicit.  I just decided to give them what they want because I didn't want to get my ass kicked.

So what kind of a man, what kind of an American, what kind of a patriot would I truly be if I did what these Republican shitstains tell me to do?  And am I going to look the other way if someone gets spirited away into a plateless SUV to points unknown?  I'm afraid the answer to that last question is yes.  That murder Saturday morning really frightens me.  The first one here a couple weeks ago was bad enough.  But I am a big believer in that once you do something unfathomable and heinous, doing it again is much easier.  I'm afraid I can see a rash of killings by these racist government thugs.  Hey, in for a penny, in for a pound, right?  And it's that backdrop of these goddamn bullies threatening your life if they don't get their way that makes me scared that I will not be courageous when the time comes for me to be brave.

So, who will I be -- or maybe more to the point, what side will I show -- when these sons-of-bitches come for me -- the chickenshit too meek to do anything so he can go home in one piece, or the dead man who had to stand up to someone because it's the right thing to do?  I don't think I want to know.  And that's why I stay home as much as I can.  And that's why I hate myself right now.

Goddamn, they murdered another one.  They don't care.  He was no threat, but they say he was a threat, and because we have some stupid, stupid people living in this country, they're going to get away with it.

I'm even more scared now.  Truth doesn't matter anymore.  It's not that people aren't hearing past the lies.  There is a significant population in America, in my humble opinion, that don't care about facts.  They will believe any bullshit that comes out of any motherfucker from this installed administration because they want to hear what they are hearing.

I have to ask again: How is non-violence going to get us out of this?

About non-violent resistance: I don't know if that's enough.  Apparently (and I could be wrong), protestors are observing and not getting in the way as they do what they're doing.  But what they're doing is violent -- abducting people based on race, separating adults from children, making those kids bait by forcing them to ask adults in a house to come out so they can be abducted too, and then pepper-spraying those protestors who aren't getting in the way.  What good is blowing whistles and recording them when the people getting kidnapped are being detained, tortured, and then thrown out of the country?

Yes, intervening is illegal.  But so is what they're doing.  And you say non-violence is going to stop this?

Living Like This

I just heard that there is an application that can pinpoint where people of color live in a given neighborhood.  All the information we have given through the Internet and our cellphones has finally been weaponized against us under this installed government.  Finally comes the surveillance state.  Meanwhile, the "small government" militias should be taking up arms now, but they're awfully quiet.  Turns out some of us knew all along: They're only small government when the people they don't like are in charge.  When people they do like are in charge, they're totally cool with that.  Shit, they might just take arms and become the hatchet men of the government.  Fucking posers.

---

I gave myself a nightmare whereby I have just shut the door on my way to my car in the morning and two of these pricks, standing against my house, jump me and try to hustle me into their SUV.  But I resist, punching and kicking and biting all the way.  Finally, I reach for some guy's gun and blast the two fuckers who were holding me down ... only to get shot by reinforcements standing a few feet away.

That might be how I go.

---

They got really close today.  These monsters were hanging out at the hospital, trying to get in.  Luckily, if I heard correctly, they weren't allowed in.  But they keep coming at us like this.

And now I hear they're vulturing around the elementary school.  What they're doing is kidnapping.  It's not lawful no matter what anyone says, it's kidnapping.  And kidnapping kids?  I don't care who they are, and I don't care what happens to them if, Lord willing, we the people finally stop them.  Disgusting.

---

I was invited to a party this weekend.  Want to, mostly because one of my ATFs is going, but I won't attend.  For one thing, it's at an area that feels as though it'll be visited.  For another, there's football, and I want to watch both Games.  But I have to tell you, the stripper organizing the house party has turned into a fucking MAGAt.  I had no idea she was so racist, but ever since he was installed a second time last year, she hasn't been shy about sharing memes on her Facebook that make my stomach turn.  And I'm very surprised it's coming from her because she's mixed.  Who does she think she is, White?

I have dropped on occasional comment on her Facebook implying what she's posting is wrong and/or Republican, but she hasn't said anything back to me on that front.  But when I told her I couldn't go to her party, she gave me a sad emoticon.  Does she understand how racist she is, and I'm not really digging that shit?  But why am I being so strident?  If this fascism dies down, I'll probably go to one of her parties again.

---

It seems as though there wasn't a whole lot of activity yesterday/Thursday, attempted invasion of the hospital aside.  I could be imagining things.  Maybe this is a lull before another surge.  Or, they might be hesitating because it turned cold yesterday/Thursday.  It'll get even colder today/Friday, and it'll be that way for the next week or so.  By God, if this gives these assholes a second thought, we just might get out of this.

Too Much To Do This Week, And I'm Not Doing That Much Because Of ... Well

I totally am happy with seeing my friend who's in town.  She would be, absolutely and every time, my main priority if I have other things I want to do.  And dammit, there are a couple other things I could do this weekend, and I am blog posting about how much I fucking hate that all three goddamn things are here at the same time.

My friend travels for her job.  She was back here in the early fall, but for some family obligations.  That's when she told me she would be in town to work the first full week of January.  That's when I was already formulating in my mind what we could and do when she was back and maybe had more time to do things.

I do not know if it was made before or after my friend told me she would be back in town now, but around this time (I guess) I realized that my alma mater's basketball teams would be playing the U. here this weekend.  First of all, I don't understand how both of my teams are playing here at the same weekend; that's a weird scheduling quirk that I can't believe just lined up that way.  Second, with that, "uh," opportunity, does that mean that both teams travelled here and will travel back on the same plane so they can save money?  But I've gone off on a tangent.  I have to see my alma mater's teams when they play in town ... unless my friend wants to do something else.  But luckily for me, we both went to the same college, so maybe she would want to go to these Games, too?  She said she had time for the men's Game, which was last/Friday night, but not the women's Game, which is tomorrow/Sunday afternoon.  I will presume she can't make it tomorrow because she is busy with work.

Again, I wish these things happened on separate weeks, but I am managing to both go to the Games I want to go to and see my friend.  But there is another thing that I realized is also happening this week, and this I think was scheduled for a year: The Twin Cities Auto Show.  This show was in March for as long as I can remember, with the exception of the COVID years, where I think I didn't go one year and the other year I went when it was held at the State Fairgrounds late spring or early summer.  I always go, but by the time I realized it was happening the same week as my alma mater's b-ball teams and my friend being here for work, I quickly concluded that I can't go.  I'm just too busy and tired.  And (and this could be rationalizing) the auto show has changed since the manufacturers stopped printing out brochures for us to take.  Not saying that I no longer have any fun there, but my stays at the show have shortened because I can't pamphlet-hunt.  I'm not upset that I am passing this up.

Now, all this ICE bullshit is complicating everything.  I haven't yet heard they are in downtown Minneapolis, but I am spooked enough that, if I had the time to go, I would hesitate.  Meanwhile, I invited my friend to this speakeasy tonight.  She might be busy hanging out with another friend.  But I have to be honest and say I am nervous because this place is much closer to the site of that murder by that ICE incel on Wednesday.  Finally, even though I went to the U. last/Friday night and will tomorrow/Sunday afternoon, I am scared of going there too because, who knows, I could be stopped, or worse.

So maybe I shouldn't kvetch over three things all happening at the same time because of fascism.  To be candid, I didn't think my blog post would veer this way.  Oh well.

Oh, Just Leave Me And My Shit Alone

You know, giving me tea is OK, especially if it's sweet as the lemon-flavored one Father's given me a couple times over the past couple weeks.  But he gave the tea to me because he thought I was coughing too much.  The first time yes, the second time no.

And yes, I have thought from time to time that I could use a light cord in my closet so I could actually look through my clothing.  I didn't ask My Fucking Father for one.  Now I know that he went through my closet.  Why the fuck would he be going through my closet?  He would not know at all that I can't light the light in my closet without opening it and going through my shit.  So that scares the fucking daylights out of me.  I can't shove my cum towel in there anymore because one day, he'll see fit to look through my closet just because he has fuck all to do and see my cum towel.

All these two motherfuckers have done is break every boundary I have and done things within my circle of privacy that is up to me alone.  This goes beyond meaning well.  This is them thinking they can do whatever they want with me and my stuff because they have no respect for me.  I guess I could punch them, but they'll be leaving soon, so maybe I'll just say good riddance to their meddling asses.

(And yes, I take back all the good things I said about them in this blog post.  For now.)

On my way out the door at work yesterday/Wednesday my co-worker stopped me.  I had logged off of my computer, and thus didn't see my e-mail.  But my co-worker was staying a bit longer and had me look at her e-mail.

My boss sent a letter, just as many of us were leaving.  He's leaving the company at the end of the year.

Look, I don't want to get too mushy, but I'm not taking this well.  So yes, I have complained about him in the past about overtime.  First of all, that's largely subsided in the past year or so, partly because most of the year has been filled with learning to do the work other people had been doing, partly because the workload has actually been tame enough that we've been leaving after eight hours ever since, oh, Halloween or so.  And even so, beyond one time where I started putting out feelers for other jobs (and by the way, I think he's leaving to pursue a passion of his), nothing too serious came about his, for lack of a better word, threats over it.  I didn't like what he said, but he didn't go beyond that to action that affected my workday or pay.

Beyond that, I actually like him as a boss.  He's overall easygoing, he for the most part provided answers whenever I had questions, and yet at the same time he sure isn't a micromanager.  I could go to him if I had issues.  Finally, I respected him as a boss.  He was dedicated to and serious about doing the work, even if he didn't take himself seriously, which is the best combination.  He wasn't a dick, and he didn't play games as a person in authority.

Now that he's gone ... well, it's not to say that I'm sure that I'll get the opposite, but we're heading into the unknown as to who we'll answer to and what he or she will expect from us.  And sure, I didn't know what I would get from him as a boss.  But he was the one who interviewed and hired me for my first (and so far only) actual job; I was going to have to deal with whatever he was going to give me and whoever he decided to be.  And I can say, for a fact, I could do a lot worse than him.  But he is gone, and frankly, on top of my neighbor dying, and the massacres at Brown University and Bondi Beach in Sydney, plus Rob Reiner and his wife being murdered by their son, and this corrupt and stupid piece of shit that cheated to win the presidency a second time getting away with it every day, this is more change I didn't want to have to deal with at the same time.  It's a blindside, and right now, it feels sad.

Ah, Men Who Aren't

So Saturday night, after working the Gopher football Game, I was hanging out with a couple dudes downtown who saw our alma mater's football Game.  They left, but I wanted to hang out a little while longer.

I was standing up scrolling through my phone.  I was the only one of this table that had three chairs; although it was busy, there were other tables around me.  One that was occupied was occupied by a lot of people.  I didn't notice that another person joined them.  He apparently wanted a chair.  He saw the one that was next to me.  And he just took it, and used it to sit down with his friends.

No, he didn't ask me.  And he should've.  Sure, I wasn't using it.  But it was obvious that it was a chair that was at a table I was at, so a quick, "Hey, you using this?" would have sufficed.  That was too much to ask of this guy, who sat his incel ass down and, I think, began scrolling through his phone.

---

It was a bear to drive down the Megamall Black Friday.  The on-ramp to the first highway I hit was backed up, the drive into The Lowry Tunnel was backed up, and my God, the traffic to park at MOA was backed up for half a mile.

I finally parked.  I'm walking in, and I hear these clomping footsteps behind me.  There's this tall White dude who has this IDGAF attitude coming up behind me.  I fling the first door open for him; he keeps it open while not saying thanks.  At this point he's about to clip my heel with his toe, so I open the second door for him.  He doesn't say thanks; he just keeps striding, almost leaving what looks to be his kids in his dust.  I sarcastically give him the thumb's up; it's only comeback I can think of to let him know what I feel about his fast, intrusive walking.

---

There has been a school of thought that video games cause violence.  That idea has been debunked by researched a long time ago, even though I think a lot of people still cling to the notion.  But there has been very small evidence that video games cause aggression.  There are some studies that note a correlation, especially in the short term.

I'm going to be so bold as to believe that video games do cause aggression, and not just in the short term.  I think that the advent of video games coincide with societal coarseness.  I believe that more people have become dicks since video games became popular.  I will go out on a limb that these two arrested development motherfuckers play them, and as a result have no manners and go about life thinking everything's about them, they don't have to wait their turn, and they do whatever they want, fuck everybody else.  A lot of people are like that now, in this country and around the world.  And that's also partially why Trump's in office -- well, that and Russian interference (which Trump asked for, which is illegal) and Musk and social media (also illegal).  And while aggression isn't the same as violence, the former can easily bleed into and beget the latter.  That would be a correlation, wouldn't it?

People scoff at calls to ban or limit video games from the youth until their brains are more fully developed.  Those calls have been proposed to curb violence.  I'm going to say it: Maybe video games should be limited as a way to curb aggression, and then that curb on aggression can lead to a curb in violence.  All things are connected to each other, and in a world that is going mad and is hellbent on screwing the little guy, maybe we need to think about doing that.  Then, maybe these supposedly "frustrated" boys will actually grow the fuck up.

Passive-Aggressive Confrontation At The Ice Cream Place

OK, so a few weeks ago I was enjoying a final Sunday before my folks came home, and I decided to go to this ice cream parlor kind of close to me -- not for ice cream (I think I've gotten more lactose intolerant, if that's possible), but for their burger, which is consistently lauded around town.  I think they're good, but I have had a few in the area that have blown me away.

Anyway, I was going to sit down to eat my burger and fries.  There is an outside deck and it was fairly crowded, but there were a couple seats available.  So I promptly lay on the counter my food right above a seat that was next to this couple.  And the male of the couple says, "Aup -- my son's sitting here," and he quickly jerked the stool right next to him.

I did the polite Minnesota thing.  No, I only did a blend of the polite Minnesota thing.  See, my old age has given me repeated instances of honing my passive-aggressiveness -- come to think of it, that's a Minnesota thing too -- to the point where I am getting better at shooting off comebacks that are nice on the surface but is delivered with a side of bile and bite.  Maybe it's not good in a polite society to be so on-edge that you have such a witticism at the ready, but we are no longer in a polite society.  So, as I picked up my food to move down to another open seat, I said, "Ope, sorry about that," and I know I had an unmistakable tone I said that with.  Heh-heh.

It's not as if the old guy was lying; his son came out from the bathroom and starting eating with his parents.  I could've just left it there ... but that's not me.  From that point onward, I was thinking of one more shot, one more dig whereby I could taunt or bait him, maybe even pick a fight with him if he is as prone to anger as I am.  Hell, my parents were coming home -- why not fight?

(Aside: This place is great if car-cruising was a thing.  The place is fronted by a three-lane road, with one lane in the middle for cars taking lefts.  It's speed-controlled, too, which is a good thing for pedestrians.  It's also good for drive-bys.  All guys who are strapped need to do is roll by at 15 miles per hours and light up the place, and me.  Glad I didn't have any enemies out to get me then -- well, besides this dude.  Anyway, back to my story:)

I finally decided I would look at him, and I mean stare at him until I got his attention, then say goodbye to him.  Not say anything, but acknowledge his leaving in a way that would make him notice.  That would assume a few things.  For one, he would have to leave before I do.  For another, he would have to walk my way in order for me to flag his attention.  And, for finally, he would have to see me.  But if all those conditions were met, bam!  I got his ass!

So he and his family got done before me.  Then, they walked on the sidewalk in front of me.  See, this is my chance.  They were walking slow, so I just stopped eating and looked at him, intently.  He glanced at me -- and I just gave him a wink, a "See ya around, pal!" type of thing.  And he ... gave me a smile.

Uh, what was that?  He didn't seem triggered or put off.  In fact, he didn't seem, uh, mad at all.  Now, he could've been cursing me up and down by the time those three got into their car -- "What the hell was that?" type of thing.  Or -- um, he just honestly said that stool was for his son, and that's all he meant by it.  Which means I overreacted to something that just happens.  And there's nothing more to it than that.

Shit, was that all that it was?

Oh, Just Die, You Dumb Bug

Yeah, insects are becoming an issue.  After being afraid of a big ant that wouldn't die and having to change bathrooms to shower because of a lazy damn bug, there was another damn bug, a small beetle-looking idiot, that found itself at the top of my bathroom sink (this was about a week ago) and then sauntered on down just short of the drain (this was maybe Saturday or Friday).

It obviously wasn't a problem while it was hanging up on top.  But now that it was near the bottom, I wasn't able to wash my damn hands.  I opened a trickle a couple times just so it wouldn't drown, and some other times I just skipped washing my hands.  But I tried, man, I really tried to get it to leave the basin by holding an envelope of those, um, floss toothpicks (you know what I mean, right?) out for it to latch onto.  I feel bad that one time it may have gotten its front legs on it and I jerked the envelope away too fast, so it tumbled back into the basin.  Otherwise, it would just avoid the thing like the plague.  I need to use the sink, dammit!

Yesterday/Sunday I kind of had enough.  I opened the faucet a couple times to the point where I may have drowned it.  Then, after I burned my thumb carrying a pan of bread that just got done in the toaster oven, I went back to the bathroom to cool off my hand.  I may have forgotten about that insect, but frankly, I was more worried about putting my thumb under water.  And so I turned the faucet on all the way, and yep, clumsy, cruel me saw the small, dumb thing disappear down the drain.

Maybe I should've given it more of a chance.  And hell, if this beetle is anything like that ant, it'll crawl up the drain and scare the shit out of me.  But frankly, I've had it rearranging my human time to accommodate this lazy and/or dumb bug.  God made a hierarchy for a reason.

Evil Is Winning

So my parents are home.  No, that's not bad in and of itself, but still ... I don't want them here.

So I'm in a foul mood because of that and because I think a part of the house is starting to fall apart (haven't told them yet, maybe tomorrow if I get home from work in time, which is 50/50).  But this Republican terrorist assassinated a state Senator, her husband and their dog, and no amount of justice is going to bring them back.  Donald Trump still holds power, and Republicans will still get their way.  There are enough people who will support these fascists to the end, and many more who don't care that democracy is slipping through our fingers.  Finally, and I don't care that I am equating sports to all this "real world" stuff, but The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics won Game 5 of the NBA Finals last/Monday night and might be able to finish it up Thursday.  And while I respect The Florida Panthers, I still do not like when cities that do not get cold enough for ice to form naturally wins Stanley Cups over cities that do, especially when they are about to do it two Years in a row, like what probably will happen in Game 6 tonight/Tuesday night.

The bad guys are winning.  Evil is winning.  And I now have to be careful around a house that might be falling apart because my parents have come back home.  Fuck all this unfair bullshit.

The House Is Falling Apart

My world and the world is ending (although they caught the assassin, thank the gods above), and now, the house is falling apart.  I heard things before, literally, but just now I finally paid close attention and isolated just what is going on.

I finally realized that the floorboards of the hallway just between my bedroom and kitchen is making a lot, and I mean a lot, of noise.  I kind of thought those creaks were beats coming from my satellite radio, which I cast on to the big TV in the dining room.  But I realized that I heard them when I was walking from my bedroom to my kitchen.  I then started pressing down on those floorboards, and they were creaking like mad.  Now that I actually "hear" them, it's kind of scary what is going on now: I walk, just normal, over those floorboards, they make a slight by audible "creak" -- and after that I hear one or two loud ... well, let's just say knocks, and they are pretty loud.  I don't exactly know what's going on, but I suspect something there is giving way.

It's a hell of a thing to tell my parents when they come back, but I think I have to tell them.  Maybe it's been this bad for a long time and we just didn't realize it, but now that I have focused on it, it's something I have to raise with my folks.

Doomscroll Addiction Got Me Again

It was a combination of things again.  The big thing, of course, was the political assassinations of former Speaker of the Minnesota House Melissa Hortman and her husband by that Republican terrorist (and goddammit, we have to start describing them as they are: Republican terrorists) who's still fucking running loose.  My parents coming home has got me down.  The weather was extremely cold (well, temperatures in the fifties and sixties, which isn't too bad in and of itself, but it was drizzling off and on, and it totally matched the mood set by the devastating murders overnight).

Plus, I had to work a Game this/Saturday afternoon before going to the United FC Match in the evening.  I thought I would have time to get in a solid nap, but my best friend and his wife were in town.  Downtown Minneapolis, in fact, so it was too easy to just walk from Target Center to their hotel to chat with them for 75 minutes.  It's been about a decade since I've seen them, so yeah, I skipped a nap, which I desperately needed, to talk.  And then, once I got home, diarrhea attacked me.  I think my bowels were just stuck in me and the breakfast I ate before the Game was just the thing to loosen my stool.  Unfortunately I couldn't get as much sleep in as I wanted because I had to go back to the bathroom.  (Still, I think I got, maybe, ten minutes.  But it was a hard sleep; the alarm woke me up and I was all, "What?  What happened?"  That's a sure sign that you were out like a busted light.)

Anyway, I got to the MNUFC Match, which featured two of the weirdest Goals you'll ever see: A backpass which got past the Goalkeeper for a Loons lead, and a golazo from halfway that tied the Match.  It was a good Game, even after San Diego FC tied it up early in the Second Half at 2.  So why did I get the urge to start scrolling through my social media feeds again?  Well, the above excuses, and again, there was a dead spot during the soccer Game where, like, someone was hurt, and I took the opportunity to pick up my phone.  From there, I got sucked into looking at all the posts over the Hortman assassinations and the No Kings rallies going on in the afternoon.

And while I was down that rabbit hole, I heard an audible gasp around the stadium.  I looked up and saw the backup Loons Goalkeeper lying on his side and SDFC celebrating.  They took the lead, and they would eventually score another one to seal a 4-2 Win.  Now, missing the opponent scoring isn't the worse thing in the world, but I did buy a ticket to a sport where Goals aren't something you see all the time.  It was the Game-winning Goal, so it was important.  But I skipped watching because I am a goddamn addict for my phone.  Beyond the excuses, and I can't do anything about it now, I gotta fucking pay attention to the reality I see before me, especially if I am paying a pretty penny for it.

The Grunts Are Complicit, Too

I should devote more time, thought and words to this blog post, but this is about a subject so above my expertise that the more I think about it, the more tongue-tied I get, so I'll admit my naiveté and make this relative short.

Through all these kidnappings off the street (by the way, I still can't get used to "disappeared" as a verb), one thing I haven't heard is the people who are doing these drive-by kidnappings.  Trump and Stephen Miller are giving the orders, but someone is carrying them out.  They are on its face immoral, and you probably can make the case that they are illegal, especially if you are taking United States citizens.  But from what I hear, these, uh, nabbings are continuing.

So who are these people?  And, more importantly, how can they justify just taking people, nearly all of whom are surprised, a few of them crying kids being ripped away from their parents, from their lives?  "Just following orders?"  I think the Nuremburg Trials has said that's not an excuse.  Are they racist?  There was a report during The Clinton Era that put out a huge report that white supremacists are infiltrating law enforcement agencies in all levels, federal, state and local, but Republicans shouted the administration into withdrawing that report -- which, it looks now, is a huge mistake for our country.

Or, are these ICE (and, I think, shockingly, the once-staid FBI) agents doing this because they are in thrall of Trump, or the Republican party?  If a Democrat were in charge, and she or her ordered ICE & FBI agents to grab this person or that person off the street and ship them out without due process, would they do it?  The more I think about that, the more I believe that they won't.  They'll say it is against the spirit of the Constitution.

These people doing the grunt work have to be brought to justice, too.  Remember that.

Review And Preview

Not only did yesterday/Wednesday start early because I was filling in for someone, but I had to stay late, almost by an hour.  Sure as hell didn't anticipate that, but there is a new type of form for which we have to type out every single line of information, something we don't usually do.  Also, the background to these forms is dark, so the scan comes out as almost black, which means we need to manually zoom in on the scan to see each line of info we need to type out.  It's a pain-in-the-ass, and that's why I stayed later than I would have had to.

Still, I got out early enough to move up the time for Gladiator II from 7:30 to 4:50.  Review: It was a sequel.  Wish the fight scenes were better, and there needed to be more of them.  Hey, did you know that when they began to shoot Gladiator, they didn't have a script?  They finally got one together, but they were kind of waiting around in the beginning.  I think the story and plot were great in that one.  Assuming they had a script from the start of Gladiator II, I thought it was long and plodding.  But, if you want gore, this is your movie.

Through a deal on T-Mobile Tuesdays, I ate at Popeye's, decided my blackened Chicken Tenders and Popcorn Shrimp weren't enough, and ate some Dot's Pretzels.  This was after I decided not to order a drink from Popeye's because it was getting expensive.  Hell, even without this drink I spent more than ten bucks.  I need to work on that.

Anyway, after that I talked to Mother about the mail, watered Father's plants and, around 10:30, listened to my body and went to bed.  Woke up around 5:30.  Stopped my streak on Zynga Poker, but it was worth it.

Now, with my day off, I have to wake up by 11 to take my car to the dealership because I ordered a new spare key fob.  I also asked them to check the level of oil in my car in case I overfilled it.  Like I said before, I have made myself a target to getting ripped off.  Or -- and I am now scaring myself again, I realize -- they'll warn about something that feels plausible enough to scare me for the next or two as I debate whether and when to bring my car back in for repairs.  For example, I was warned the last time I took my car in (to my local shop in July) that the brakes probably need to be replaced the next time I come in.  So, if the dealership says, "Hey, your brakes are just about gone," I'll think, "Man, are they lying to me ... or could they be telling me the truth?  I don't know what to think!  I don't know who to trust!"

And then I plan on watching Conclave at the local theater.  I want to drive the minivan to put it through its paces, but I don't know if it can hold up in the coldest weather we've had so far.  Or, maybe I should use the minivan precisely for that reason.

That's how yesterday was, and how today might be.

I Just ... Did Nothing

I went to have lunch at a place close to the U.  Just as I was getting done, a crazy woman asked for cigarettes, lipped off to the only server who was at the place, and then spat on her.  My God, I have never seen that shit before.

And as much as I shouldn't make this about me, I need to check what I did in response to that -- which was nothing.  I ignored this crazy lady, but I was shocked that she would do such a thing, and that's why I didn't do anything, I guess.

But that's no excuse.  And that sure as shit doesn't make me feel good.  There were two other guys there, both of them alone and, along with me, sitting at the bar.  None of us could come to her rescue and ... well, I was going to say kill her, or maybe beat her up.  But that would be illegal, wouldn't it?  What she did was misdemeanor assault, but we can't do anything because we would be arrested for, you know, actual battery.  So we just ... let that bitch just get away with it.  That's not right.  Frankly, I'd prefer if we, or maybe just I, jumped this woman for what she did.  I'd run from the scene, and I'd hope those three others would let me get away with it.

I replay in my head what I should have done.  If I were security, I think I would do something because that would be my job.  If I were a regular at this place to the point I knew this server, I think I would do something because this cunt hurt my friend.  But I am neither and, well, that would be two other reasons I froze.  And it still doesn't make me feel any better.

One other complication: I know I am going back to this place in a couple months.  My alma mater's football team is playing up here, and this place will host the pre-game.  I doubt anyone crazy will walk around a college neighborhood a few hours before a Game, but I know see proof about the area not being quite quiet.  Besides, there's a chance this server will be there again, and my presence there will trigger bad memories for her, and I don't want to do that to her.

The server cried, man.  The server cried.  And I didn't do a goddamn thing?

Detente ... Or De-Taunt?

OK, so that guy I know who went psycho on me when I said that the violence Trump incites came back to bite him in that shooting Saturday?  Well, out of an abundance of caution, I went beyond muting to defriending him.  Couldn't take the risk.  However, we are members of a Facebook page, and I haven't and probably won't throw him out of there, even though I can since I'm an administrator.  It's my concession.

I had posted something on that page, something about tickets to a Game.  Yesterday/Tuesday, he posted on it.  Tagged me, too.  And I thanked him, and I tagged him.

Look, I don't want to go around making enemies.  But I said what I said, and I stand by what I said.  I do not condone political violence on anyone.  But someone who spews violence as an answer cannot be surprised when it's done to them.

With that said, I didn't like how I acted when we got into this argument.  However, I didn't like how he was acting, either.  And once he got accusatory -- and he did -- he got real threatening, and real crazy.  That's why I closed myself off to him.  If we ever, ever have a relationship of any kind, we cannot talk about politics, at all.  And I think he needs counseling.  Hey, it's working for me.

So I ... want to welcome his comment as an olive branch.  Does he mean it that way, though?  I can't think how it would be, like, some twisted way of letting my guard down so that, uh, we meet in real life to bury the hatchet and instead he tricks me and beats the shit out of me.  Don't want to think that, but I'm paranoid.  It's possible.  And hey, I'm running into this guy at some point this year, either at the Game, or at a concert, or hell, at a fast food restaurant tonight.  Yeah, I'm kind of scared of this guy.  But I don't want to live my life being scared of this guy, either, especially if he's willing to put what happened on social media behind us.  So, who knows?