My Thoughts On Who To Root For In The Stanley Cup And NBA Finals

I have no interest in seeing the Stanley Cup Finals.  Out of principle, I don't watch a postseason once my team, in this case the Wild, are eliminated.  It hurts too much.  (This may be paradoxical, but if my team doesn't make a playoffs, I am more than happy to watch the whole thing ... with exceptions, of course.  If my team can't even make the postseason, that means my team didn't even have a chance of winning that Year's title, so I cannot have any bitterness over what could have been.  Does that make sense?)

Beyond that, though, I don't care how intriguing this matchup has become after Games 1 and 2 have both featured stunning comebacks and late Goals.  The Vegas Golden Knights are in their third Stanley Cup Finals and they're only nine years old.  They were given the most generous and bountiful birth of any expansion team in North American sports, immediately seeding their roster with stars and upside role players and parlaying them into a Stanley Cup Finals birth in their first Year.  And they have continued to cash in on the excessively valuable assets they were given, trading those away for a bumper crop of promising youngsters and aging role players, thus giving them a higher ceiling that few other teams in the NHL have, let alone were given.  And that's why I refer to them as Team Privilege, or Team Third Base.

On top of that, their starting, starring Goaltender, Carter Hart, was one of four people accused of gang raping a drugged-out women several years ago.  The Canadian judge let him off the hook, and he hooked up with the Golden Knights, and he's playing very well, thus proving that there is no God.  Oh, and he is a supporter of this separatist movement in the Canadian province of Alberta.  And on top of all that, the owner of the Vegas Golden Knights demands that his franchise is not named the Las Vegas Golden Knights, purportedly because "Las" sounds too close to "loss."  Putz.

Meanwhile, The Carolina Hurricanes have a boss, Tom Dundon, who may be riding high on the success of his hockey team, but is curiously thinning the workforce of the NBA team he owns, The Portland Trail Blazers.  He sounds creepily close to all these tech bros who think their achievement and moxie in their industry means they know everything and must be allowed to do anything, even if it means taking the livelihoods of people who just want to put food on the table.  Sounds like an asshole.  Oh ... also, The Carolina Hurricanes were stolen from the good people of Hartford, and The Hartford Whalers' famous fight song, "Brass Bonanza," has been adopted for North Carolina.  As hoary a form of cultural appropriation you can get without lasting consequences for civilization and society.

So, Team Third Base vs. The Bastard Hartford Whalers?  I choose death.

Meanwhile, my feelings for which team is winning the NBA Finals are so mixed up that I can't accurate describe them.  I know that I should hate The San Antonio Spurs because they beat my Minnesota Timberwolves, and loyalty demands that I wish evil upon those who've wronged me.  On the other side, Karl-Anthony Towns, who was loyal to the T-Wolves until the point the organization stopped being loyal to him and traded him, has a chance to win a championship with the team he was traded to, The New York Knicks.  I think he's a good guy, and I want to see him happy and successful.  And I saw what Jalen Brunson did at the end of Game 1's Win; that dude has big balls, and I really respect that, too.

So why do I catch myself rooting for the Spurs and rooting against the Knicks?  Those are two different questions that demand two different answers.  I don't know him, but it feels as though Victor Wenbanyama is a good dude who's still learning how to play in the NBA.  I like the really tall kid.  And on the other side, when the Knicks made big shot after big shot to pull out a Game 1 upset at San Antonio, I saw Knicks fans in the San Antone crowd cheer, this well of hate rises up within me.  Dammit, man, New York City sports fans are insufferable.

Such a jumble of preferences may drive a man mad.  But I'll try and tease this out.  I'm not specifically hoping that the Spurs will win, but I do hope that Wemby wins.  Meanwhile, I want to see KAT win one championship ... but I don't care about the Knicks franchise or Knicks fans winning a championship.  Hey, I need to compartmentalize if I am supposed to analyze Game 2's broadcast with any sort of objectivity.

With all that said, I plan on going to that Prince celebration concert tonight/Friday night, so I will likely miss Game 2.  Shucks.

I'm scared now.  Heard that yesterday/Friday, two school systems shut down for the day because of fucking ICE.  They seem to be in the neighborhood; I heard a rumor that they were staging at the parking lot of the Target.  How scary, and how disgraceful.

I went to a sporting event last/Friday night.  On my way back from the Game (which my alma mater won), I looked at my Bluesky.  Apparently, police and/or ICE are pulling cars off the exit ramps around the Twin Cities.  That's when all this bullshit hits home with me.  These ICE-holes are flagging and possibly detaining anyone, and not because they're enforcing a law; they're doing that because Dear Leader told them to, and you don't want to displease Dear Leader, do you?

So, instead of going to Taco Bell, I hightailed it into my house, where I am safe ... for now.

So a family friend died yesterday morning.  She broke her leg a couple weeks ago.  She was in physical therapy.  Some more ailments piled up on her, but then she felt a bit better ... and then she didn't.  And now she's dead.

She lived just down the street from us.  We could see her house from ours.  Last time I saw her was when my sister and I were walking around the neighborhood for Halloween.  We stopped in her house to say hello.  She was a really nice person.

I'm still trying to process all this, but this death is really bothering me.  Mostly because of the suddenness.  My Mother was in physical therapy, and it looks as though she is going to be fine.  But this friend of the family never gets out?  That's not fucking fair, at all. ...

Looks Like My Fucking Sister Doesn't Trust Me Now

So my sister used the bathroom after I washed up my sweaty bits and, in a fit of petulant passive-aggressiveness, she texted me, "Flush the toilet!"

OK, go beyond the fact that she didn't say this to my face even though I was in my bedroom and my bedroom is three steps from the bathroom we use.  (I've been texting her about stuff even though I could just as easily walk over to her bedroom, which is about 20 steps away.)  I did flush the toilet while I was in there.  I used it once, I washed myself, I dried myself, and then I left.  But it's obvious that after I got busted for not flushing the toilet just one goddamn time, she is going to suspect that I would do it again.  So, if she saw something in the toilet bowl she deems amiss, she is going to accuse me of not flushing the toilet.  And being accused of something I didn't do really pisses me off.

And pulling back on this shitty situation, it's clear she no longer trusts me.  If she is going to keep up being suspicious of me ... well, that's a third person in this house who thinks that way.  It is very hard to have peace in a home where no one believes you.  I can confide in her about family things I would never bring up with anyone else.  Now, after this bullshit she pulled on me?  Maybe I'm ready to see her leave the house and go back to where she lives.  Don't fuckin' accuse me of something I didn't do. ...

Can't Face It, Too Painful

From time to time, I am sent into the laboratory to cut open packages and reach into specimens that have leaked urine.  I have spoken from time to time of how those instances of trauma have shaped me to being the cynical, defeated creature I am.  (Seriously, it's not normal to reach into anything and touch piss.)  But there is one saving grace, however indirect it may be, it's that it spares me from listening to The Stephanie Miller Show on SiriusXM.

Don't get me wrong -- if I'm at my desk, I listen to it.  I find it entertaining and, of course, informative.  OK, to be fair, it's informative in the sense that the news is filtered and slanted in a way that I like, and is therefore digestible.  However, since Trump and the Republicans once again cheated to win last year's elections (don't fucking argue with me, they cheated and you MAGAts know it), the news, despite going to media that conveys that news in a way where I don't scream in horror, has been universally infuriating and depressing.  So much so that, in keeping with advice in the wake of evil cheating to win back in November, I have practiced self-care.  And that means that I no longer exclusively tune in three hours every morning to listen to Stephanie Miller.  My blood pressure explodes whenever I hear the next illegal, immoral thing this administration does.  I know I need to keep up with what's going on, but if I do so I will go insane, and my health and sanity will suffer.

So, from time to time, I don't listen to political radio.  I admit that, when I fire up SiriusXM on my work computer, I look to see if there's a song playing on another radio station that I like, and if I do I will listen to that before I eventually mosey on over to SiriusXM Progress.  And, on days where I am cutting, I take some solace in not having the opportunity to listen to Miller and potentially get real pissed off over what I hear over the course of the show.  It may be sad that I have to disengage in order to keep peace in my life.  It kind of feels like the bad guys are winning when I do that.  But I have to.  And besides, there are usually four other mornings during the workweek where I am informed about what deplorable BS Republicans are pulling that day.  I still keep up.

CBS Is Cancelling The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

That is some bullshit.  Don't care how it's expensive to produce a late-night show.  This is political.  CBS and Paramount are in the middle of closing a merger deal, and they Trump's blessing.  Moreover, the bigwigs with Paramount (CBS's parent company) have caved to Trump before in settling a lawsuit he filed against them for, of all things, a 60 Minutes interview of Kamala Harris he didn't like.  He has no goddamn standing suing a television show that he wasn't on, and CBS gave him money anyway.

This goes beyond a shakedown, or even kissing the ass.  People want this merger to go through, Trump says he wants Colbert gone, and they say OK.  Simple as that, and you won't make me believe otherwise.

Yeah, we don't live in a free country anymore.  Fuck all this.

Lost All My Fake Poker Money

I got up to, like, more than $57 million, but I lost it all overnight.  I was being slowly bled dry, and then I had three 3's so I shoved, but this motherfucking AI player (or maybe he/she/they is real, who knows?) who was holding two hearts (I was playing Omaha, by the way) got hearts on the last card of the flop, the turn, and then the goddamn river, and now I have nothing.

What bullshit.  (Probably cheated, who knows?)  And I don't know why I'm so mad that I lost all this fake money.  Whatever.  I didn't get to Pro Level V, but it looks like I will stick at Pro Level IV.  In the meantime I'll take some time to grow my bankroll and, hey, maybe I'll get another chance to sucker some crazy gambler/bot into giving me his/her/their tens of billions like before.  And if I need to be relegated a class or two, I'm OK with that.  Just to erase this bad memory.

Evil Is Winning

So my parents are home.  No, that's not bad in and of itself, but still ... I don't want them here.

So I'm in a foul mood because of that and because I think a part of the house is starting to fall apart (haven't told them yet, maybe tomorrow if I get home from work in time, which is 50/50).  But this Republican terrorist assassinated a state Senator, her husband and their dog, and no amount of justice is going to bring them back.  Donald Trump still holds power, and Republicans will still get their way.  There are enough people who will support these fascists to the end, and many more who don't care that democracy is slipping through our fingers.  Finally, and I don't care that I am equating sports to all this "real world" stuff, but The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics won Game 5 of the NBA Finals last/Monday night and might be able to finish it up Thursday.  And while I respect The Florida Panthers, I still do not like when cities that do not get cold enough for ice to form naturally wins Stanley Cups over cities that do, especially when they are about to do it two Years in a row, like what probably will happen in Game 6 tonight/Tuesday night.

The bad guys are winning.  Evil is winning.  And I now have to be careful around a house that might be falling apart because my parents have come back home.  Fuck all this unfair bullshit.

The Grunts Are Complicit, Too

I should devote more time, thought and words to this blog post, but this is about a subject so above my expertise that the more I think about it, the more tongue-tied I get, so I'll admit my naiveté and make this relative short.

Through all these kidnappings off the street (by the way, I still can't get used to "disappeared" as a verb), one thing I haven't heard is the people who are doing these drive-by kidnappings.  Trump and Stephen Miller are giving the orders, but someone is carrying them out.  They are on its face immoral, and you probably can make the case that they are illegal, especially if you are taking United States citizens.  But from what I hear, these, uh, nabbings are continuing.

So who are these people?  And, more importantly, how can they justify just taking people, nearly all of whom are surprised, a few of them crying kids being ripped away from their parents, from their lives?  "Just following orders?"  I think the Nuremburg Trials has said that's not an excuse.  Are they racist?  There was a report during The Clinton Era that put out a huge report that white supremacists are infiltrating law enforcement agencies in all levels, federal, state and local, but Republicans shouted the administration into withdrawing that report -- which, it looks now, is a huge mistake for our country.

Or, are these ICE (and, I think, shockingly, the once-staid FBI) agents doing this because they are in thrall of Trump, or the Republican party?  If a Democrat were in charge, and she or her ordered ICE & FBI agents to grab this person or that person off the street and ship them out without due process, would they do it?  The more I think about that, the more I believe that they won't.  They'll say it is against the spirit of the Constitution.

These people doing the grunt work have to be brought to justice, too.  Remember that.

Democracy Died Yesterday

Yeah, I said democracy died before, and I'll probably say that again.  But ... well, Jack Smith pulled the indictments.  He had to, otherwise the Supreme Court could make them go away.  Ironically, I now have to hope that this motherfucker doesn't die so that he can be brought up on charges after he leaves office.

That piece of shit has skated all his goddamn life.  He cheated to win in 2016, he couldn't accept that he lost in 2020 so he got all his goons to storm the U. S. Capitol, he threatened everyone who wasn't a cis, white male who didn't cross him (at least according to him), he said every racist and sexist thing one could think of, I'm fairly certain he asked for foreign help this election cycle -- which, like in 2016, is illegal -- and ... he's going to get away with it.

There's been a lot of slagging on Merrick Garland.  True.  There should also, I'm afraid, be a lot of blame given to President Biden.  While Garland was too slow to indict those who masterminded the insurrection, who was the one who hired him?  But ultimately we can't lose focus on the true enemies: Republicans who covered for him and the Supreme Court that ruled that the President is above the law, which goes against constitutional precedent as well as common sense.  They all let that prick get away with it.

And that led to yesterday.  I'm trying not to harm myself, but the good things that are happening to bad, bad people are only going to continue, and it is very difficult to not scream, or worse.

(ETA at 1:08 a.m. on 11/26/24 that even though Jack Smith is dismissing these indictments without prejudice, there's a goddamn statute of limitations of four years -- while that bastard is in office.  As pessimistic and depressed I've been acting, yes, I still held out hope on one shred of evidence that maybe, just maybe, he could get nailed for his crimes.  But no, the statute of limitations pretty much ends that.  My hopes being dashed just by reading the news proves how much of a stupid hopeless romantic I am for truth and justice.  And like I say, it's the hope that kills you.  I need to put sharp objects out of my reach.)

Nope, Still Pissed (It Was Rigged!!!)

Yep, the more I see that bullshit sequence of Breanna Stewart shuffling her feet, taking at least five steps, shooting a miss but getting a bailout call on Alanna Smith, and then learning that all of that was upheld upon review ... yeah, that pisses me off.

Others have pointed out that there was a huge pro-New York Liberty slant on the broadcast, from the announcers to the graphics to the fans (to be fair, Game 5 was in Brooklyn).  But the goddamn Commissioner of the WNBA wearing a frock with the New York City skyline on it is ... it's either tone-deaf or a very, very inappropriate case of favoritism.  No, I'll go further -- all that bias proved that Game 5 was rigged so that the Liberty could win.  I mean it.  You may say that's a conspiracy theory, but the trick is in not believing the fake conspiracy theories and believing the real ones.  And swear to Buddha, Game 5 being in the bag for New York City is a real one, goddammit.

And Another Political Thought

OK, Tim Walz has been a very good governor, both righteous and fearless.  I threatened to not vote for Kamala Harris because the Democratic power behind the scenes and the moneyed class combined to fuck Joe Biden, but if Walz is the vice-presidential candidate ... yeah, I guess I'll vote for Harris/Walz.

I have one ancillary thing to say about this election.  I see the outpouring of enthusiasm once Harris replaced Biden, and while it's still a few months from Election Day, the Democratic ticket has been given a palpable jolt, no doubt about it.  I think -- and hope -- that Harris will win.  I think that Biden would have won, too, even though it probably would be more of a slog than it might be if Harris were running instead.  But that leads to my point.  The reason I think/hope both Democrats would beat Trump is because I cannot believe that this country is so goddamn racist that they would vote for Trump again.  Yeah, they did it once before.  But the Trump campaign asked for help from Russia and who knows how many other countries -- and by the way, THAT SHIT IS ILLEGAL -- and the brainwashing of the masses was unprecedented.  As flimsy an excuse that is, Americans don't have that now, especially since Trump's presidency, despite all the revisionist history courtesy of those Republican mouth breathers, was an abject failure.  After what that corrupt, incompetent motherfucker put this country through, people are going to vote for him again?!

I cannot believe that Americans would legitimately elect Trump back into the White House.  In fact, that piece of shit shouldn't get even one vote.  That he still has a viable shot of being elected, by Americans and Americans alone, back into the presidency ... that is unfathomable to me.  I cannot conceive that in my mind, or at least I don't want to.  So, if he does win fair and square (again, unlike in 2016) ... well, this country isn't the beacon of freedom it says it is.

Addendum To: We're About To Shiv A Good Man

I really, really thought this shit was going to blow over after this weekend.  Stupid me.

When you are told repeatedly that you're not going to win, you're being bullied into leaving.  That's what happened here.  And once again, Democrats fucking did it to themselves.  Two forces "on our side" forced him to quit: Pissant chickenshits who saw one bad debate and thought he was going to be a blabbering Alzheimer's patient in a month; and rich "Democrats" who saw that debate as an opportunity to oust a guy who finally was trying to make things better for the common people.

The former say look at the polls.  Polls are bullshit, especially four months from Election Day.  Also, there are some polls that say Biden was ahead.  There was no consensus, but enough people saw what they wanted to see and made this move.  As for the latter, their undue influence is another toxic manifestation of Citizens United.  We Democrats tried to dance with the devil, and the devil fucked Biden and the 14 million people who voted for him in the primary with this undemocratic end run.

We have stabbed in the back a man who led one of the most progressive agendas intended to make life fairer for all of us.  And now, we are in unprecedented territory.  Who's going to be the nominee now?  Is it Kamala Harris, really?  Because I thought it was Joe Biden, but some people have just swooped in and said, "Uh, I don't think so."  And I can't white put my finger on it, but the money people who forced out Biden might now want to elevate a Black woman into the President's chair, either.  How is she going to get the money Biden already raised?  How are you going to convince 14 million people who voted for someone else to vote for her?  Do you really think they're all just going to march in lockstep, giddily saying, "Sure, Kamala's the one!" when they were screwed out of their vote?

There is no plan.  There is no fucking plan.  And yet the donor class and everybody else who said, "He's too old!" are going to find a way to make this alright for the rest of us to fall in line for.  They're going to come up with brand-new ideas with big cushy buzzwords that we should be dazzled with because Glint! it's so fresh and exciting!  And then Republicans are going to come in and sue the fucking beejeezus out of us because we invited them into fucking with our nomination process because we had the batshit idea of doing something new to it ourselves.

We turn on ourselves so goddamn much over nothing, all the fucking time.  Joe Biden had strengths that we have voluntarily pissed away.  And now, we are going to be ruled by a dictatorship that will finish the job of ending democracy in this country.

I can't with this party.  I really fucking can't anymore.

The Passive-Aggressive Dance With My Boss

You know, at this point I shouldn't be surprised that my boss is making me cut hours so I don't do overtime anymore.  And yet I found myself shocked and even angered that I was told to leave so that I would stay at 40 hours one week, and then to also be told last week to do the same even though I was taking days off and therefore, theoretically, he could balance out the hours I actually worked with paid time off so it would add to 40.  But no, for some dumb damn reason I can only work 24 hours last week.

The week before last I was in The Fourth Department all week.  Try as I might ... no, that's a lie, I was at work back there until all the work was done, I accrued OT -- not a lot, but enough so that I know he noticed.  He can be brusque, and I think he demonstrated that to me by the way he walked without veering from his path if we were about to cross paths, or by giving me the silent treatment until he absolutely had to speak to me.  To be clear, I am chafing most of all by the edict (that I am certain he is following according to the wishes of his boss or bosses) that I am not supposed to work overtime.  It doesn't matter how nicely my boss is treating me as he cuts my work shift short; I think I do good work but it takes some time, and I hate being told to leave my work so that I don't cost my company time-and-a-half.

So I have to admit I am dreading this coming week.  I am in The Fourth Department again all week.  And I know he's going to pressure me to just work 40 hours.  But you know what?  I think I can also play this passive-aggressive game.  I will not cheat to work past 40 hours.  But knowing that working more than 40 hours is an inevitability (or just about: One week earlier in the year I barely reached 40 hours because we had no work), I will not pop a blood vessel in order to leave at my appropriate time.  I know for sure that my boss is dreading my time at work in the Fourth Department this upcoming week, however, and I do not want to anticipate how he'll broach my overtime pay.  Hell, he might blindside me again and yank me out of that position for one day just so he can save our company ... what, $25 an hour he has to pay me in total, including OT?  Regardless of what happens, there is a burgeoning test of wills between my boss and I.  A part of me wants to stay and win this battle of wills.  Another part of me is a lover and not a fighter, and wants to take the course of action that kicks up the least amount of trouble.  I know which camp I'm in.  I think.  Maybe.

Had No Idea What To Do Or Where To Go Tonight

I had three things I could do tonight:

• I could stay home, watch sports and Saturday Night Live, and do chores, namely go through my stuff.  But the host for SNL is a comedian who slurs Asians, and by principle, I cannot and will not watch that shit.  In fact, I want to be out of the house when the show is on.
• I could go to the Cold War Kids concert at First Avenue.  But I went downtown to watch EPL this morning, and it seems like a waste to go to the same place both in the morning and then the evening.  Plus, the cost of a ticket is a little more expensive because the show is sold out, something I didn't expect would happen.  Beyond that, it's not an inexpensive ticket, and I still should not  be spending money willy-nilly, especially now that my boss is cock-blocking me from working overtime.  I just checked my checking account and, uh, yikes.
• I could go to the Girls' State High School Hockey Championships at the Xcel Energy Center.  But I am seeing a concert of two choral groups, Cantus and The Canadian Brass, at the Ordway tomorrow/Sunday afternoon, and I'm not really feeling going to St. Paul on back-to-back days.  Also I'll need to find parking in St. Paul, and I loathe paying for parking.  Finally, and I don't know if people know this, but the government agency that runs high school sports here in the state, The Minnesota State High School League, are a bunch of assholes.  I had a run-in with them when I was a part of The Media covering a Boys' State High School Hockey Tournament, other media members have had their credentials rejected for bogus and even no reason, and over the summer the association initially prevented three students from participating in a section track and field meet because their coach mistakenly left off their names off an entrance sheet.  That really pisses me off.  These motherfuckers at the MHSHL actually believe their shit don't stink.  And so, by principle, I don't want to validate them by paying a ticket for an event they run.  (There's another complication: One of my stripper girlfriends, *****a, works as a server in downtown St. Paul.  I want to eat at the place she works at, but there is Cossetta, another place I haven't been to in a while which I love.  Which place to go to?  And frankly, this dilemma would be solved if I did go to St. Paul both today and tomorrow.)

In the end, I have decided to ... go to the Cold War Kids concert.  I think, deep down, I will not do anything that benefits anyone I don't like.  (By the way, it'll be too tempting of me to turn on the television and watch SNL if I'm rooting around at home.)  So I will spend some money, have my hearing blown out, and go downtown twice in one day -- although, if I can rationalize this, it's two different parts of downtown, and I will not be crossing paths when I go back tonight.  And then tomorrow, after the concert, I guess I'll go to both Cossetta and the place where my stripper girlfriend works at.  Because hey, what's money and getting fat, right?

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: July 2023

It may be because I don't have it displayed on my wall because my parents are home, but as I have just taken it out to look at the month, it's not a great month.  I do have several favorites, even though I think that if I were doing this tomorrow night, I might change my mind.  In any event:

In fourth place is Ari, out of Loveland, Colo.  For the month of July, surprisingly, she is one of only two babes sporting American flag-themed swimsuits.  She's also wearing a cowboy hat, the most secure province of trashiness, even though it is a branded with the Hooters logo.  She's doing the thing where she's tugging the string in the middle of her bikini top that holds both sides of her top together.

In fourth place is Caitlin, hailing from North Tampa, Fla.  It is rare for me to recognize a Hooters waitress wearing a one-piece bikini.  But she's gorgeous, has got great wavy brown hair, and unlike most of the other girls in the month, she's smiling.  That stands out for me in July '23.  Oh, and she has her hands on her hips in her photo; I like that sign of domination.

In second place is Caroline, representing Mesa, Ariz.  Long, black hair, wearing a solid blue two-piece.  Like how her right arm is sitting on top of her head.  I love her milky white skin.  Only drawback: Her mouth is muted, like she's trying too hard to come off as indifferent.  No matter; all her other features significantly cancel that out.

Finally, in first place is Brandi, of San Marcos, Calif.  Luscious long, wavy blonde hair.  Blue bikini top, and she's the other woman here commemorating the 4th of July by sporting an Americana-themed bottom.  She's got a nice body, but I love her coy smile.

Congratulations to those four, and I will masturbate to them at some point.  But I want to point out one other Hooters waitress.  She is Madeline, of Tucson, Ariz.  I would have recognized her; this dark-haired beauty is wearing a red two-piece bikini that has all these straps that wrap around her hot torso.  But I noticed a black ribbon on the lower-right corner of her picture.  A black ribbon?  This is unbelievable, but it appears as though Madeline died July 26 of last year.  Her Instagram leads to a GoFundMe for her funeral services, and there is a Facebook post on the Arizona Hooters page from September commemorating her.  So apparently she posed for the calendar (I'm guessing around the holidays spanning 2021 and 2022) and she died about half a year later, either through sudden illness or an accident, and Hooters is honoring her with a photo with the black ribbon.  Damn -- such youth, and gorgeous youth at that, taken way before her time.  Life is so unfair sometimes.

RIP, Pac-12 (Should Be -10, Formerly -8)

I'll be honest: I am getting kind of emotional over the death of the Pac-12/10/8, the final blows (Washington and Oregon getting into the Big 10, Arizona, Arizona St. and Utah getting into the Big 12) to the bruised, listing, and on-life-support body being laid last/Friday night.  I could see the signs how this could end really, really badly for the conference last week, when Colorado peaced out and returned to the Big 12, and yet I'm still shocked at the rapidity and the finality of it.  This conference has been around for more than a century.  The last remaining members of that league might have to escape to the fucking Mountain West, for God's sake.

I don't root for conferences.  I care about my team, and I don't give a flying shit about my team's rivals.  But this is different.  Hating my alma mater's rivals doesn't mean I don't want the Pac-10/12/8 to succeed, let alone live.  It really is strange, even unfair, that a region of the United States of America doesn't have its own college sports conference -- and no, sorry, the West Coast Conference doesn't count.

Instead, we now have a Big Ten Conference that, first of all, is now 18 teams big, and now stretches from coast to coast ... even though there are no teams in the Mountain Time Zone.  My alma mater and UCLA bolted a conference they were the sources of power in for an association they will have to fly at least half the country away on a regular basis to play Games -- and a couple times (depending on the sport), all the way to the East Coast.  Maybe the move was justified, even necessary in a future where money becomes even more important.  Or, maybe it's not.

I am still trying to compose my thoughts on what has been an historic day in college football and sports.  Dare I say that I feel some trauma.  What I want to do is list, in descending order, who and what are to blame for The Death Of The Pac-12/-10/-8:

The Supposed Need For Greed

All of the moves and the backstabbing have one motivation: Money.  Not that there isn't a whole lot these college football programs have already.  But they somehow believe that they are, in fact, poor, or will be poor if they don't jump to a more lucrative boat.  They get into their heads that standing still means falling behind, and so the thirst for the next big payday is relentless and leaves a wake of broken rivalries and ignored history behind them.  This permanent quest for money stains everything about what has transpired.

Larry Scott, Former Commissioner

It's probably not fair to pin all this bullshit on one man, but if there is one person responsible for the league's demise, it's those fucker.  Turns out he is a snake oil salesman.  He came in holding the most lucrative conference contract in college sports and proceeded to piss it all away.  Establishing the Pac-12 Network and refusing to partner with a media conglomerate to cut costs and to get into more cable households still is not a bad strategy, and I probably will die on this hill; if the network(s) were a success, they would be making money hand over fist.  But the network was headquartered in the heart of San Francisco, where rent was so, so high.  Meanwhile, he was paid an obscene salary, much more than the Commissioners of the more powerful B1G and SEC.  And apparently he spent lavishly on the conference's dime, too.  When he finally was told to scram, he got away with a carload of gold, and he left a raft of problems that the rest of the league had to clean up -- and, turns out, failed to clean up.

The Failure Of The Conference In Football

Overlooked in all the cloak-and-dagger stuff is the simple fact that if the football teams in the Pac-12 were any good, or at least as good as those in the SEC, I think the network would make money, and subsequently the conference would survive.  However, the league got into the College Football Playoff only twice -- Oregon in the first Year and Washington.  My alma mater, supposedly the Big Man On Campus, has been in the wilderness for the past 15 Years.  The Pac-12 has been largely a joke when it comes to football, and that wiped away any currency the league had to be considered seriously.

The Decision By The Two Los Angeles Schools To Leave

And still, if my alma mater and UCLA decided to stay, I'm not going to say they couldn't command the money they think they need to go on.  They could set the terms of revenue distribution, saying they are entitled to more than the others based on brand.  As easy as it may be to see the demise of the Pac-12 coming now, remember that they stole Colorado and Utah.  The two schools jetting for the Midwest was the first time in modern history they lost schools, and that made it easier for others to follow suit.

George Kliavkoff, Current Commissioner

He will get more blame for this than he should.  I think Larry Scott fucked up so much that there wasn't a whole lot Kliavkoff could have done to save his league.  But he was holding, like, a pair of queens and busted out.  His dithering in getting a media deal done made association members nervous.  Moreover, he tried to be patient and wait out the hysteria in order to get a bigger deal -- a move many writers lauded, it has to be said.  But it is his fault he couldn't broker a contract better than a streaming service, Apple TV+, which offered a bigger per-school payday only if the contract hit certain subscriber marks.  Many of the schools waited patiently and pledged loyalty until they heard about this new media deal; when they finally saw the details on August 1, many of the remaining schools were so disappointed that Colorado left in due haste.  And the dominoes just fell soon thereafter.

This guy is a commissioner of a Power 5 Conference.  Honestly, he might as well hold a liquidation sale now.

I am letting school presidents and athletic directors off the hook, although Arizona St. President Michael Crow has emerged as either a sucker or a tragic hero.  He stands as the last defender of the association as it was, although he was also Larry Scott's biggest champion.  Reports say he left for the Big 12 reluctantly.  He leaves as a defeated man, and I wonder how long he will head ASU after this humiliation.

---

I am sad.  Sad to the point of buying Pac-12-branded gear because I think there's zero chance the league will be around a Year from now.  Bought a couple of discounted socks and a couple of t-shirts with the logo on it.  I'll wear one of each and save one of each, in case they become collectibles.

No one should come out as a hero after this.  And no one besides the now-Pac-4 (Stanford, Cal, Washington St. and Oregon St.) should be given sympathies for thinking, "Hey, we had to do what we had to do," or, "We had to make the best of a bad situation," or, worst of all, "This is not my fault."  The Pac-12 is just about dead because a lot of people helped kill it.

It's the duplicity about it all that really pisses me off.  Nothing happens, and then all this shit happens at once.  Conferences say they're not looking to add teams, then they add them.  What I really fucking hate is the speed at which teams are accepted into new leagues.  Conferences say they do their "due diligence" in assessing whether they'll accept schools, but then the process of vetting and then accepting these schools happen over a matter of hours, and probably through Zoom.  Schools leave conferences they've been in for Decades over hastily-called meetings that last a long lunch.

And it doesn't make any goddamn sense.  This is totally a football move, but while I am guessing men's basketball will be OK (although I think even that sport would be better off separating from football and reverting to conferences as we knew them way back when), the women's tennis or men's golf teams that have to travel half a country away to face a team they have no history with is going to take a toll on their schooling in a way football players don't have to face.  And it's an added burden athletic directors, conference commissioners and university presidents will just chalk up as collateral damage.

And will these teams that move really be better where they will be?  The Big Ten now has 18 fucking teams, and they might as well add Stanford and Cal -- and if and when the ACC breaks up, Virginia and North Carolina.  That will be a crowd of football powers that my alma mater will now have to climb over.  Do they really think that's better than having a conference all its own, in a region of the country all its own, and a paved road to a postseason and football success and riches?  (Of course, they haven't taken advantage of that road even up till now, but that road was still there with the Pac-12.)  They could say they did it for the money, but they could still be stuck in football oblivion like they are now.

Speaking of oblivion ... well, that's what the Pacific-12/-8/-10 is now facing.  People were spitballing that the death of a Power 5 Conference could happen, but still: How did this happen?  How did a proud association of West Coast and Western schools completely fall apart in a matter of a week?  It's unbelievable, and it's fucking ridiculous.

Rest In Peace, Pac-10/-8/-12.

Fuck You, AXS

I just tried buying a ticket to the Big Ten Women's College Basketball Tournament Championship Game, which is on Sunday.  There were tickets to be had, and they were cheap, too -- twenty bucks for a conference title Game?  I'm surprised they aren't more.

But they are more, because I forgot all those goddamn service fees.  Those three motherfucking fees -- a "handling" fee, a "processing" fee, and a "web convenience" fee -- were almost, almost as much as the price of the fucking ticket itself.  So what initially was only $20 was very close to $40.  I have heard of tickets for concerts doubling in price after you add in fees, but a part of me still can't quite believe that any company would be so fuckin' brazen to double the cost of a ticket.

But that's fucking Ticketmaster for you.  Except that it's not Ticketmaster that's fucking me.  It's AXS, and I swear I thought Ticketmaster was the parent company of AXS.  Not so.  Ticketmaster is owned by LiveNation, and AXS by AEG.  Totally different companies, but totally colluding when it comes to jacking up the price of a ticket to an event with exorbitant and obscenely unnecessary fees.

All these fees are bullshit.  But if I had to pick out the worst of the three, it'd be the "web convenience" one, because that fee in and of itself is almost ten bucks.  I think I can avoid that if I go to the Target Center box office.  It'll be a pain in the ass to drive to downtown from work, and to do so in the middle of rush hour.  Plus, I don't know if I'll be able to make it before they close down the box office at 6 today/Monday.  But if it saves me $10, the hassle and the price for parking will be worth it.  Paying twice as much for a ticket to a Game is unfair and goddamn absurd.

This Is How Much I Love Sports

So the World Cup is being played in the winter and not the summer because Qatar bribed FIFA officials won the rights to host it this Year.  After initially saying it was going to be fine and that they can even make clouds that will blot out the sun or something, the State of Qatar realized that there was nothing they could do to prevent soccer players and fans from broiling to death in the Middle Eastern heat, so they begged to shift the tournament to the wintertime.

OK, so that's one thing.  The other thing is something that no one in that state can control: The time difference from the United States.  Some of the group Matches start as early as 4 a.m.  No one in this town is crazy to open that early -- well, except for one: The Black Hart in Midway.  They pledged to be open for all Matches for the World Cup -- moral quandaries set aside for now -- including the early morning ones.  That includes the one between Switzerland and Cameroon this/Thanksgiving morning.  And you know what?  I'm going!  It's Thanksgiving, I could use the day to sleep in instead of waking up very early, I have to wake up in less than three hours to get to The Black Hart, I plan on watching the NFL in the afternoon, and I'll be eating my way through that Game as well as the 7 a.m. one between Uruguay and South Korea (and possibly the 10 a.m. one between Portugal and Ghana, the First Half of which I will probably see at The Black Hart before going home) before gorging on turkey in the afternoon, but dammit, I'm doing it!  Why?  Uh ... will, for one thing, I love sports.  It's the only thing that sustains me in my life ... well, besides sex, and sometimes I wonder about sex.  Also, when will the World Cup happen in the winter again?  Finally, when will I get to -- "get to" -- wake up to watch soccer at a drag/soccer bar in the middle of the night on a major holiday ever again?

That should mean I should go to bed, like, right now.  But I have some alumni club stuff to do before I go to bed ... and wake up in less than four hours.  I think this will be fun!

All The Food That's About To Spoil

My parents did a real good job storing away all the food in the fridge I saw Saturday.  However, there are still a lot of perishable items that need to be eaten or otherwise disposed of, including:

• 4 bananas
• 1 1/4 loves of white bread
• 4 ... uh, pastries which Mother filled with a sliced hot dog -- very good
• 1/5 gallon of 2% milk
• 3 apples
• an opened package of cheese, the kind that spoils, not the pasteurized one that can last for years
• by the way, there are 2 packages of the kind of cheese that don't spoil and can last for years
• and several slices of cucumbers

Lot more stuff in the freezer, where they can last for years as well, thank Buddha.  But I'm under the damn gun trying to figure out what I can eat and when.  For example, there were three small cups of fried rice I had Mother lay out in the refrigerator while she stashed the other cups of fried rice she made (and I think she made at least a dozen) in the freezer.  I ate the first cup last/Monday/Labor Night right before my fantasy football draft.  I just ate the second cup, and I am eating the third cup after I blog post this.  Part of me was hungry, part of me is pissed off and sickened by this unlawful ruling by "Judge" (actually fucking Trump whore) Aileen Cannon singlehandedly stopping the investigation into Trump stealing classified documents, but I think some of it is me wondering how I can eat all of this stuff before any of it goes bad.  I'm too busy to exercise this week, but I'll need to work out soon.

In the meantime, I don't know if I'll get to all the fruit.  I might just bring it to work and let someone else take all but one banana and apple.  I might buy cereal for the milk, and I'll need to eventually buy deli meats (Oscar Mayer, not the fancy but spoilable stuff) to go after the cheese and the bread.  The cucumbers and the hot dog pastries I'll fit in someday ... and I'm sure something will eventually go bad anyway, hrmph.