Oh, I Need To Care About Other People's Feelings Now ...

I love my sister, and I'm glad she's home, even if it's not under the brightest of circumstances.  But it takes dim old me, who's been doing his own thing socially for a long time now, to recalibrate because, of course, your sis wants to do things with you.  And you realize that, hey, you want to do things with her, too.

The problem is that I have a bunch of days I've already planned for doing stuff, so that means that there are way fewer days for us to do stuff.  Also, I have no idea how long my sister is going to be here.  Finally, she laid out a series of things she wants to do, and I am still thinking about what to do with her and, even more importantly, when.  That is difficult.  For example, Saturday might have been a good time, but I have an eye appointment in the afternoon and I'm going to the MNUFC soccer Match that night.  I'm going to another soccer Match next week.  And I have sporting events I'm working on that'll also take up much of my time.  Meanwhile, she wants to go here, and there, and maybe even up north, and that'll take up a weekend, and I don't know if I have a weekend free.

Still, I need, and want, to take some time I would have reserved for myself and devote it to her.  Contrast that to considering the feelings of My Fucking Father, who blew a gasket and insulted me because I dragged the trash bin to a part of the driveway he deemed too close to the recycling bin.  He thinks those bins have to be as far apart from each other as possible.  Yeah, because the garbage truck and the recycling truck can't tell which bin to pick up if they're too close.  That asshole actually went out and dragged the trash bin to the other side of the end of the driveway.  That's weird.  What makes it even stupider is that he did that as my sister and I had started up my car because we were going to the library.  My Fucking Father dragged the trash bin behind where we would back down the car.  If my sister didn't negotiate around the trash bin, if she just backed down the driveway like any normal human being, we would've hit the bin.  But My Fucking Father absolutely had to move it there, and he couldn't at least fucking wait until we had left.  Childish son-of-a-bitch.

See, I don't want to care about what My Fucking Father thinks.  But I do want to care about what my sister thinks.  See the difference?

Go Ahead And Take The Shower, Mr. Insect

On Sunday I was using my bathroom to shower when the thing I thought was a speck of dust started moving.  The damn thing was fighting for its life while all I wanted to do was take a damn shower.  So I stopped the water ... and Lord help me, I went downstairs to shower so this thing (which I think was a spider, I never did look closely) could have the bathtub all to itself.  Still can't believe I did such a thing.

Later that night I checked up on it.  It was all lifeless, like it drowned in the water anyway.  And then I checked the bathtub just now.  It's gone.  Its body couldn't have just decomposed and magically went down the drain, so like that damn ant, it's still alive -- and now knows it has the run of the upstairs bathroom.  Might as well give it the whole house, too, bleepin' Christ. ...

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Monday, March 31:

• Welp, I'll have to leap all the way back to my birthday, when I gave myself a birthday gift of an HJ from ******e at her place in south Minneapolis.  Glad to see I can pud out when coaxed.  And she didn't overcharge me this time either: $120.
• After getting drained I walked over to Matt's Bar.  The Jucy Lucy has such a worldwide reputation that a group of people from outside the country asked for a table -- "four guys from France," they confessed.  Well, bonjour!  Jucy Lucy, half order of fries, Coke and tip: $22.
• On Tuesday the 11th I may have had the worst shave of my life at the school there.  The guy kind of didn't give a shit about me.  He cut me up in a couple of places on my face.  I think he stopped during my shave to give himself a shave.  And he finished off the session by squirting alcohol all over my eyes as well as my cheeks.  I'm trying not to think this was due to malevolence, but to make sure, I am staying away from this place -- and instead paying a lot more money for a shave -- for the next half-year, just to make sure he's moved on before I come back there.  I don't remember the last time I only tipped two bucks, but hey, he deserved it.  Total cost: $11.
• This was the day ****e* went to my house to clean.  I offered to get her dinner.  She wanted Potbelly.  She was going to subtract the cost of the sandwich from her cleaning job, but I spent, with tip: $7.48.
• Meanwhile, as she was about to start, we were talking in the bathroom.  And like it was no big deal, she started to take her clothes off in front of me.  She usually changes into her cleaning clothes, so it's not quite like that.  But I don't know if she was doing it in front of me absentmindedly or if she felt that, because she has been naked for me when she was a stripper, she just felt comfortable changing clothes in front of me.  Still, she has never let me see her change clothes, so I instinctively started touching myself.  I should've pulled down my pants and started masturbating in front of her, but I really needed her to clean the house.  Anyway, she once again did a fantastic job, and I'm glad she was able to take care of the house after more than a year away.  Cost: $240.
• Friday, March 7 ... went to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Version) for one last fling before my parents came home.  Cover, twenty dances with my ATF, drinks for her and for me, and tips, and it all came out to: $240.
• Tuesday, March 4: Saw my first movie in a while, the latest in the MCU, Captain America: Brave New World.  It's ... fine, but the entire series is lacking direction since Endgame.  But I still try and catch every film because I am story-committed.  Price of the ticket: $5.42.
• And now, back to Wednesday, February 26, when I got lottery tickets for Father: $20.
• Later that evening I participated in a volunteer effort spearheaded by, of all people, my financial advisor.  I have never met him, but this was a meal-packing event that was only ten minutes away from home, so I figure that after other e-mails from him inviting me to other volunteer opportunities, I should finally introduce myself.  It was nice, and afterward we went to a nearby restaurant to eat -- all on his company's dime!  I should've bought more food and took some home.  Anyway, I donated to the organization we volunteered at: $5.

Good through March 31.

Assholes At Work Keep Cropping Up

So last Monday I was coming in from my lunchtime nap.  I key myself in and wipe my feet of the snow I trod upon on the mat.  While I was doing that, a technician, apparently finishing her break, gets up off her chair and, while looking at her phone the entire time, walks almost right at me.  She didn't look up, she didn't avoid me, she just kept looking at her phone and walking straight.  That shit pisses me off, but I stepped aside for her.  She did it again later in the week, too.  I tried to get back at her (this first time) by sidling up to her while grabbing some papers next to the door she was going through after she made a beeline right at me.  And goddammit, if she does this again, I have to stand my ground and make her move around me.  I might even push her to the ground so she finally looks up.  I have a right to defend myself!

And then on Wednesday the decrepit old lifer went into the lab with me to cut open packages.  Well, she was opening packages and I was taking the piss-laden specimens out.  And all through my unfortunate time standing next to her, I was reminded how truly selfish she was.  She was on her own time, cutting open packages at her speed, regardless of how long it took me to take out specimens that spilled.  We had dozens of packages she shoved my way, but she kept cutting and cutting and cutting.

Worse than that was how she cut, which was woefully half-ass.  You are trained to cut open a mouth wide enough so that you don't need to fish around in the package to grab them and pull them out.  If they're sufficiently open, all you need to do is lift open the top of the package and reach in.  She did none of that.  Her cuts were small, laughly, insultingly so.  And some times her cuts weren't clean, and so I had to tear open the packages and then tear up the top of the package so I can get at the specimen inside.  Quality of work, and making my life easier, was not her concern, of course.  She kept up her half-ass cutting at her sped up pace.  She did that so she can get through her stay at the lab as quickly as possible.  That was evident when we were dismissed.  She quickly left the station while I thanked everybody and properly took off my gloves and lab coat.  And when I walked out the door, she wasn't the one who kept it open for me.  She was out of there with the quickness, and who gives a shit about the guy who was working alongside her?

I don't know what her deal is, but I am glad I have little to no interaction with her.  Because that was the little I would have with her, and that feels like too much.  I welled up with anger just recalling what she did.  Damn, when the hell is she going to retire?  She's old enough, she's been in the company long enough, and she obviously hates the job.  So why the fuck doesn't she just up and leave?

Stupid-ass workers.

In Fear Of What's About To Happen

I don't want to pussyfoot too gingerly around everything, but I think that when I say I've been in a state of unease since November, you know what I mean.  I think most of my unexplainable anxieties and fears since then has been this existential dread over how delusional and evil other people really are, and how I'm supposed to live once this incompetence and selfishness comes into power in about ten days from now.

I truly, truly believe that there will be a new ... let's just say toxicity that will become a new way of life in America not too far from now.  People will be emboldened now that their guy is the putative leader of the free world, and so I can see assholes drive 100 mph and cut people off on the highway, insult people based on their race and sex and orientation, and make decisions nakedly driven on self-interest.  Not as if they can't already do that now, which only speaks to their fundamental stupidity: They're acting like nice boys and girls now, but once he has the power to pardon them for anything they do, fuckin' watch out!

Because of that, I'm seriously thinking of visiting ******a at My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Division) next week.  If I see her after that, I might run into people who, uh, don't think I have a right to be left alone.  And as for the day itself, I think I will keep to myself -- just go to work, then go home and stay home.  I have to venture out at some point, but not on that day.  Seriously, too dangerous.

Expenses Without Receipt

Starting from Sunday, January 5:

• Well, there's nothing going back to Christmas Eve, where I stopped by this Ecuadorian bakery before work.  Asked for a coffee and a Nutella croissant.  Paid for it, but they the cashier said they didn't have a Nutella croissant, so I opted for a walnut danish instead.  Even though the danish was a buck more expensive, she didn't charge me the difference, thank Buddha.  Cost: $6.69.
• At work we pooled in for the Mega Millions jackpot which, once again, we did not win: $4.
• Sunday, December 22: Got my car washed.  There was a guy who was really meticulous, to the point of being annoying, about how the people there were going to treat his car.  He even stepped in to vacuum it and then wipe it down.  Dude had a Honda SUV, but damn, man, you're living in Minnesota -- the damn thing's gonna rust anyway.  And anyway, with tip, the wash cost me: $32.46.
• My favorite speakeasy, I learned recently, is actually open Sunday nights.  Wanted to get out of the house and stop in.  I think I am there often enough whereby at least one bartender there is familiar with me, and it was overkill on this night because the doorman and both bartenders know me.  It's good to be a regular.  Anyway, I had a couple drinks and listened to some jazz, for which I tipped the band: $5.
• Finally, on Saturday, December 21, I went to one of ******e's parties, the first time in several months.  I am sad that I didn't know that ****e, a woman who out of the blue sucked my dick, was at the party.  I would've gotten to the party a lot earlier than I did, because I was at the party maybe half an hour before she quickly got dressed and left.  We did hug while she was naked, though.  I swear, if she cums to another one of ******e's parties again, I'm there, first thing.  As a consolation, I got three dances from the host ******e herself.  I think there was a transsexual at the party, too.  With cover: $90.

Good through January 5.

Hot MAGAts

The election has made me finally decide to do something I only dreamt about.  I am compiling a list of all the Facebook friends I befriended only because they posted pictures of themselves in bikinis who also were proud to have voted Republican, or at least Trump, but probably both.

Why?  I'm not sure what I'm going to do.  I'm still contemplating publishing a manifesto/screed about how people who voted for him are dumb.  I've also thought about finding anti-Trump memes and sending them to all these women through Messenger.  I might wait until he actually, gulp ick, gets to be "President" again and send these hot MAGAts a news story about him saying or doing something stupid and/or cruel, then going, "This is the asshole you voted for???"

Basically I want to scold them.  Because more often than not (there are a few hot MAGAts I will not do this to because, and this is self-serving, they've been nice to me), they are fully in the cult and exhibit the worst characteristics of this dumb fucking movement: The inability to think critically, prizing selfishness over the greater good, the unearned cockiness, and the idea that they know something we "normies" don't, and bless our souls for being so innocent and doe-eyed.  It's really, really sad to see so many gorgeous women that are, well, fucking stupid.  And so I'm torn between calling them out for the ignorant, racist and sexist filth that they are ... and hoping they send me nude photos of them.  Yep, I'm a hypocrite.

Goodbye, Twitter/X, Hello, Bluesky

The election shouldn't have prompted me to do it, but I'm far from the only one.  I had heard good things about it from time to time in the months leading up to last Tuesday, but I didn't really consider jumping from the dominant social media platform to one of these upstarts.  For one, I got what I needed from Twitter/X: Engagement, smart people promoting their smart things, and jokes and dunks on stupid people.

But I knew that I was liking and reposting under a company owned by Elon Musk, a guy I once thought was cool but had turned into a thoughtless, id-driven man-child who only talked shit about the concept of "free speech."  I didn't see all the hateful comments others saw, but I kept many of my settings private and largely stayed in my own lane.  Still, yes, Election Day was the final straw.  I also knew in the back of my mind that he was using his highly-leveraged platform to, uh, platform, racists and vile Republicans in order to tip the balance of races on Election Day in Republicans' favor, and goddammit, it worked.  It took this to fully realize I am monetizing myself for that asshole, and that was enough.

I need to be honest, though: Since devoting my attention over to Bluesky, the thing I miss the least was all those fucking ads.  And it's always the same one: That game where you shoot at something with a flashing number on it, and that number keeps going down.  Meanwhile, there are hordes of people coming at little old you, and the demonstration shows the object of the game is to ... well, survive, I guess?  Anyway, that was, like, every third tweet I saw, and even though I click on "Not interested in this ad," nowadays I still see that ad.  (By the way, I believe it's the same company that came out with a different type of game promoted on X/Twitter that I actually signed up for.  The gameplay was nothing, and I repeat, nothing like the promoted ad on X/Twitter.  I am so goddamn pissed that I gave these bait-and-switchers my personal information for a shitty lie.)  No doubt that that cesspool was where the racists and sexists lived because Musk invited them back.  But, I was most annoyed by the ads ...

... of which there are none on Bluesky.  I remember having that platform recommended on a local news website by a commenter.  Last Wednesday or Thursday, seeing how I was engaging for Musk, I decided to look around and, after looking around real quick, I signed up.  It is growing at breakneck speed.  So far, many people poking around Bluesky liken it to the younger, more innocent days of Twitter, where there were no ads to avoid, and no Republicans there to try to get you going.  Since it still is in an embryonic state (even though it's been around for several years now), people are trying to instill a "culture" there that's directly the opposite of the one in the old place, one that demands inclusion and thoughtfulness, and one where Republican trolls are easily and routinely blocked.

I like it so far, mainly because it looks a lot like Twitter/X, just without the baggage.  The easy block features sets up situations where posters congregate in their own bubbles, but quite frankly, the "public square" aspect of X/Twitter has just turned into firehoses of disinformation from people whose handles end in a string of ten digits, so I don't really care if I'm in an echo chamber.  It's good for my mental health.  But at some point there will be a controversial topic I am fascinated with, and I will wonder how ... uh, tolerant the place will be if I sincerely ask something I don't know, or state a minority opinion.  I don't mind debate on social media.  I just want that debate to happen in good faith, and I know that's no longer happening in Arkham Asylum over there.  That's why I am severely limiting my eyeball viewing on Twitter.  I won't shut down my account(s) because I think I would give my paper trail to Musk, so I will just lurk and not repost or publish anything original over there anymore.

So far, the vibes are good at Bluesky.  There's a mixture of relief over escaping a hellsite that just realized its worst fears and basest instincts combined with a happiness that there seems to be a community of millions that look forward to something new, happier, and free from pain.  I think all correct-minded Americans need that right now.  Of course, maybe Bluesky isn't meant to last.  After all, I think it's owned by a tech bro -- just like Twitter was before that dude sold out to Elon Musk.

Fuck PWHL Minnesota

Well, there was between a smattering and an undulating river of boos when Ken Klee took to the podium -- after undermining and assuming Natalie Darwitz's role as General Manager of PWHL Minnesota.  I shouldn't talk since I had the opportunity to go there and decided to go home after watching The Fall Guy instead at the theater (by the way, it's the perfect summer movie, go watch it).  But I was hoping for a torrent of boos, and maybe someone bringing in a javelin, wrapping his or her or their PWHL Minnesota jersey around it, setting the damn thing on fire, and aiming -- not at Klee, but at the stage, somewhere near the podium, far enough from the podium that everyone could easily get away from the fiery projectile, but close enough to the podium to get everyone on there to jump.

Alas, that was not to be.  Also alas, it got worse.  In the Second Round, Klee (or Kendall Coyne Schofield, possibly the real puppetmaster) selected Britta Curl, a Forward out of the University of Wisconsin.  I did not know this until X/Twitter informed me, but apparently she has supported social media posts advocating for transphobia, promoting COVID-19 conspiracy theories, and defending police brutality against Black people.  This, mind you, coming from the Professional Women's Hockey League, a league that has many, many members of the LGBTQIA+ community playing on the ice.  And don't forget, since this is Pride Month, the PWHL itself has recast its logo in rainbow colors.

X/Twitter isn't real life.  But by God, you should see the venom coming from local fans.  Or used-to-be fans, as a lot of people are done with this team after drafting Curl.  I was done with this team after they backstabbed Darwitz.  But I am really, really done with these fuckers now.  And if we Minnesotans have any goddamn spine, the events of last/Monday night should mean everyone else is done with this shitty franchise, too.

I'm just gonna say this: There has been talk about Joe Biden needing to talk less about how much Donald Trump sucks and is going to become a dictator if America votes him in as president, and instead hyping up his record when it comes to the economy, unemployment and minority rights issues.  I say I don't need that, and if you're smart, you don't need that, either.

Yes, voting for Biden because Trump's the other guy is more than a sufficient reason.  Hell, it should be the only reason.  Have you listened to what Trump's been saying?  He's trying to install himself as president-for-life ... whenever what spills out of his mouth makes any goddamn sense.  The guy's a walking shitshow.  And you're thinking of voting for him, or not voting at all?  Holy shit, we're looking at the end of democracy in our country and you're looking at shit on TikTok.

Don't blame The Media for this.  A lot of it is doing a crap-ass job, but many are doing a fantastic job, and they're doing their damndest to get the word out about Trump's lawlessness and incompetence.  It is now up to you, The Citizen, to actually (man, I hate this phrase but I can't think of any one better) do your own research and find out for yourself how dangerous and unhinged this piece of shit is.  And if you don't, The Death Of America is on you, pal.

I Can Fix It!!! All By Myself!!!

I thought I felt something from the car driving home from work Tuesday afternoon.  But I really felt it driving to work yesterday morning: A rhythmic knocking coming from underneath the car.  I at first rationalized it as a rain thing; it's been raining since Tuesday afternoon, heavy at times.  But as I noticed it more, my mind raced to the worst-case scenario: I have Friday off, but instead of enjoying my free time, I'll have to bring it into the shop to get it fixed.

But then I remembered that I've heard this thumping before.  The tires did get changed about three weeks ago.  Did corrosion from taking out and then putting the wheels back in have anything to do with what I was hearing?  Or, could it be loose lug nuts, like the time after I worked a Wild Game at the X?  So I got to work and searched the Internet, and one of the first things people recommended were to check the lug nuts.  So after I got done with work I checked them, and I'll be damned, three of the four nuts on my driver's-side front tire were loose.  So I got out my lug wrench and tightened up the nuts on all four of my wheels.  Drove home without hearing a sound.

Can't believe the mechanic who swapped out my old tires for new ones three weeks ago didn't do his job, else I would've heard something sooner.  Is it just stupid kids loosening them overnight?  Whatever the case, I'm glad that I was able to fix something big by myself -- and without needing to pay someone!

Welcome To Limbo Week

This year, probably more than any year before, I am jealous of people who have this week -- the last week of the year, the one between Christmas and New Year's -- off as a matter of course.  What jobs do they have, and are they hiring?  Because it has always been kind of a waste to go in and work.  If there are enough people not working the week, there probably isn't enough work for other people to go into work and work, you know?  (Having said that, I worked till 6 o'clock yesterday/Tuesday, so maybe I am the exception.)

Limbo Week is affecting me in other ways.  I am dependent on calling other places for missing information, and yesterday/Tuesday I received several automated, on-vacation e-mails.  Time is of the essence in my line of work, so not getting any replies for a week is going to screw some things up.  On the bright side, there were less cars on the road yesterday/Tuesday morning because of those of you who don't need to work this week, which should make my morning commute easier and faster.

Went to see Aquaman 2 last/Tuesday night.  (Not a bad movie, but much of the movie was banter between the two leads who are brothers, and that could've been a lot more clever.)  I came in after the announced showtime because of trailers.  What I forget was that kids don't have school Limbo Week, and so families were out at the movies -- including the three big ones who were in front of me at the concession stands.  And they weren't budging.  I was about to miss the start of the movie, and I don't want to do my OCD thing whereby I pay a second time to make sure I see the start of the film, so I left the line and just went into the screen to watch.  This is a broke-down theater, and it has been understaffed ever since the pandemic, and even before then.  I bought a ticket through Atom for which I got a massive discount through T-Mobile Tuesdays (thanks, T-Mobile!).  I needed to scan the ticket, but I wasn't going to wait for these stupid groups in front of me to decide what they want to eat for the film they wanted to see.  So I just headed in.  I figured that if someone was going to stop me, I would show them my phone and the electronic ticket I bought online and just say I didn't want to wait.  Got in, at most, two minutes before Aquaman 2 started (which was about 20 minutes after its advertised showtime of 6:50).  I made the right decision.

Finally, Limbo Week is also College Football Bowl Week, and my alma mater is playing tonight/Wednesday night.  I, as organizer of our Game-watching parties, had to go downtown Minneapolis last/Tuesday night to make sure our bar is cool with us watching there the next evening.  Limbo Week is the only week I would need to make sure a large group of people can watch a bowl Game, and I would specifically have to go this place on back-to-back days.  If this were next week, I would, or could, be going straight home.

Yes, Limbo Week is kind of weird.

To The Mediocre White Guy Who Shouted "COVID's Over!" To Me At The State Fair:

First of all, asshole, mind your own fuckin' business.  And second of all, you're probably one of those assholes who doesn't watch the news, because COVID's fucking back.

You think you're so goddamn clever when you shout that to me?  I flashed you the finger, and goddamn it, how I hate bullies like you getting under my skin.  All my life I've never been able to be free of you motherfuckers.  I hope you get COVID and die, you piece of shit.  I really do.

RIP, Pac-12 (Should Be -10, Formerly -8)

I'll be honest: I am getting kind of emotional over the death of the Pac-12/10/8, the final blows (Washington and Oregon getting into the Big 10, Arizona, Arizona St. and Utah getting into the Big 12) to the bruised, listing, and on-life-support body being laid last/Friday night.  I could see the signs how this could end really, really badly for the conference last week, when Colorado peaced out and returned to the Big 12, and yet I'm still shocked at the rapidity and the finality of it.  This conference has been around for more than a century.  The last remaining members of that league might have to escape to the fucking Mountain West, for God's sake.

I don't root for conferences.  I care about my team, and I don't give a flying shit about my team's rivals.  But this is different.  Hating my alma mater's rivals doesn't mean I don't want the Pac-10/12/8 to succeed, let alone live.  It really is strange, even unfair, that a region of the United States of America doesn't have its own college sports conference -- and no, sorry, the West Coast Conference doesn't count.

Instead, we now have a Big Ten Conference that, first of all, is now 18 teams big, and now stretches from coast to coast ... even though there are no teams in the Mountain Time Zone.  My alma mater and UCLA bolted a conference they were the sources of power in for an association they will have to fly at least half the country away on a regular basis to play Games -- and a couple times (depending on the sport), all the way to the East Coast.  Maybe the move was justified, even necessary in a future where money becomes even more important.  Or, maybe it's not.

I am still trying to compose my thoughts on what has been an historic day in college football and sports.  Dare I say that I feel some trauma.  What I want to do is list, in descending order, who and what are to blame for The Death Of The Pac-12/-10/-8:

The Supposed Need For Greed

All of the moves and the backstabbing have one motivation: Money.  Not that there isn't a whole lot these college football programs have already.  But they somehow believe that they are, in fact, poor, or will be poor if they don't jump to a more lucrative boat.  They get into their heads that standing still means falling behind, and so the thirst for the next big payday is relentless and leaves a wake of broken rivalries and ignored history behind them.  This permanent quest for money stains everything about what has transpired.

Larry Scott, Former Commissioner

It's probably not fair to pin all this bullshit on one man, but if there is one person responsible for the league's demise, it's those fucker.  Turns out he is a snake oil salesman.  He came in holding the most lucrative conference contract in college sports and proceeded to piss it all away.  Establishing the Pac-12 Network and refusing to partner with a media conglomerate to cut costs and to get into more cable households still is not a bad strategy, and I probably will die on this hill; if the network(s) were a success, they would be making money hand over fist.  But the network was headquartered in the heart of San Francisco, where rent was so, so high.  Meanwhile, he was paid an obscene salary, much more than the Commissioners of the more powerful B1G and SEC.  And apparently he spent lavishly on the conference's dime, too.  When he finally was told to scram, he got away with a carload of gold, and he left a raft of problems that the rest of the league had to clean up -- and, turns out, failed to clean up.

The Failure Of The Conference In Football

Overlooked in all the cloak-and-dagger stuff is the simple fact that if the football teams in the Pac-12 were any good, or at least as good as those in the SEC, I think the network would make money, and subsequently the conference would survive.  However, the league got into the College Football Playoff only twice -- Oregon in the first Year and Washington.  My alma mater, supposedly the Big Man On Campus, has been in the wilderness for the past 15 Years.  The Pac-12 has been largely a joke when it comes to football, and that wiped away any currency the league had to be considered seriously.

The Decision By The Two Los Angeles Schools To Leave

And still, if my alma mater and UCLA decided to stay, I'm not going to say they couldn't command the money they think they need to go on.  They could set the terms of revenue distribution, saying they are entitled to more than the others based on brand.  As easy as it may be to see the demise of the Pac-12 coming now, remember that they stole Colorado and Utah.  The two schools jetting for the Midwest was the first time in modern history they lost schools, and that made it easier for others to follow suit.

George Kliavkoff, Current Commissioner

He will get more blame for this than he should.  I think Larry Scott fucked up so much that there wasn't a whole lot Kliavkoff could have done to save his league.  But he was holding, like, a pair of queens and busted out.  His dithering in getting a media deal done made association members nervous.  Moreover, he tried to be patient and wait out the hysteria in order to get a bigger deal -- a move many writers lauded, it has to be said.  But it is his fault he couldn't broker a contract better than a streaming service, Apple TV+, which offered a bigger per-school payday only if the contract hit certain subscriber marks.  Many of the schools waited patiently and pledged loyalty until they heard about this new media deal; when they finally saw the details on August 1, many of the remaining schools were so disappointed that Colorado left in due haste.  And the dominoes just fell soon thereafter.

This guy is a commissioner of a Power 5 Conference.  Honestly, he might as well hold a liquidation sale now.

I am letting school presidents and athletic directors off the hook, although Arizona St. President Michael Crow has emerged as either a sucker or a tragic hero.  He stands as the last defender of the association as it was, although he was also Larry Scott's biggest champion.  Reports say he left for the Big 12 reluctantly.  He leaves as a defeated man, and I wonder how long he will head ASU after this humiliation.

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I am sad.  Sad to the point of buying Pac-12-branded gear because I think there's zero chance the league will be around a Year from now.  Bought a couple of discounted socks and a couple of t-shirts with the logo on it.  I'll wear one of each and save one of each, in case they become collectibles.

No one should come out as a hero after this.  And no one besides the now-Pac-4 (Stanford, Cal, Washington St. and Oregon St.) should be given sympathies for thinking, "Hey, we had to do what we had to do," or, "We had to make the best of a bad situation," or, worst of all, "This is not my fault."  The Pac-12 is just about dead because a lot of people helped kill it.

It's the duplicity about it all that really pisses me off.  Nothing happens, and then all this shit happens at once.  Conferences say they're not looking to add teams, then they add them.  What I really fucking hate is the speed at which teams are accepted into new leagues.  Conferences say they do their "due diligence" in assessing whether they'll accept schools, but then the process of vetting and then accepting these schools happen over a matter of hours, and probably through Zoom.  Schools leave conferences they've been in for Decades over hastily-called meetings that last a long lunch.

And it doesn't make any goddamn sense.  This is totally a football move, but while I am guessing men's basketball will be OK (although I think even that sport would be better off separating from football and reverting to conferences as we knew them way back when), the women's tennis or men's golf teams that have to travel half a country away to face a team they have no history with is going to take a toll on their schooling in a way football players don't have to face.  And it's an added burden athletic directors, conference commissioners and university presidents will just chalk up as collateral damage.

And will these teams that move really be better where they will be?  The Big Ten now has 18 fucking teams, and they might as well add Stanford and Cal -- and if and when the ACC breaks up, Virginia and North Carolina.  That will be a crowd of football powers that my alma mater will now have to climb over.  Do they really think that's better than having a conference all its own, in a region of the country all its own, and a paved road to a postseason and football success and riches?  (Of course, they haven't taken advantage of that road even up till now, but that road was still there with the Pac-12.)  They could say they did it for the money, but they could still be stuck in football oblivion like they are now.

Speaking of oblivion ... well, that's what the Pacific-12/-8/-10 is now facing.  People were spitballing that the death of a Power 5 Conference could happen, but still: How did this happen?  How did a proud association of West Coast and Western schools completely fall apart in a matter of a week?  It's unbelievable, and it's fucking ridiculous.

Rest In Peace, Pac-10/-8/-12.

The Fuckin' Twitter Troll

You can't really believe what you see on social media.  I got that reminder earlier this week when I got into a spat with this ... well, honestly, I don't know who this person is.  It was about, of all things, The Hartford Whalers.  I was arguing somewhere on Twitter (I don't remember) that the hockey team down in Raleigh is performing a less-important version of cultural appropriation with taking Hartford's history and logo and colors and the use of "Brass Bonanza" and all that.  So she (and apparently this person identifies as a female) questioned what I meant by that.

This is where I looked up her bio.  Apparently she is a lawyer and an advocate for LGBTQ and disabled rights.  She sounds cool, we just might have a slight disagreement on relocating teams.  So I tweeted back that I didn't understand how she didn't understand how the concept of appropriation applied in this case.  And then I went to work.

I didn't think much of it, or her.  But while I was checking Twitter during my break she insulted me.  I waited until I got home because I had other, more important things to do, and then I answered.  How, it doesn't matter; I don't remember because it's been several days.  But as soon as I replied to her, she, or "she," replied back, manifold, and not with cogent arguments but with insults.  I don't want to repeat those here either because that would be validating her bullshit, so I won't.  I will say that once I got home and decided to respond to her, this person responded almost immediately.  It was as if  she was just waiting for me to respond to her, putting marks on her phone because she was clutching it so damn tight.  Or, she isn't a "she" and this person is just some troll who was trying to get me going.

You see, this person, whoever she/he/they/it was, didn't really present an argument.  This person just kept insulting me.  I don't think this person cared about franchise relocation, or cultural appropriation.  I don't know this person even knows those concepts.  "She" just kept lashing out with bullshit without trying to counter my argument on the three lines of arguments "she" started almost immediately after I carefully and logically stated my viewpoint on those three lines.

At some point I had to take a step back.  Why in the fuck am I letting this person get to me?  I'm not going to change her/his/their/its mind.  I'm not even sure this person's gender.  All the stuff about her championing LGBTQ and disabled rights?  It all could be fucking bullshit.  Goddamn, this could be an Artificial Intelligence chatbot for all I know!  This ... thing had nothing to come back to me on about the topic "she" initially tried to come at me about, and then "she" showed no continuing interest in telling me how I was wrong about Hartford hockey.

But she, or "she," kept spewing her bullshit.  And after two days of going nowhere, I had to come to the conclusion that this ... being was just being a fuckin' troll.  And I said goodbye and blocked the account.  I try to keep faith in mankind, and I was hoping I could engage in some grown-up conversation in the hopes I could convince someone of the error in her/his/their/its ways.  But ... nah.

Frankly, I'm worried that whoever this person is is going to find this blog post and stalk me with more insults.  If how I am describing the nature of this Twitter spat seems vague and cryptic to you, that's why.  I'm scared that whoever or whatever this person or thing is won't stop.

Smart People Can Be Real, Real Dumb

I endeavor to participate in more of this club's events.  This particular sub-group goes out for dinner once a month, and I'm down.  I went to a local Mexican restaurant chain, and it was fantastic.  Well, I got full really quick because I ate my fill of their free chips and salsa, and I kind of regret doing that because I felt full ever since I made myself two cocktails Thursday night.

The company was ... good.  I don't know them well, but we were united in our objective smartness.  But once again I am reminded that just because we're smart doesn't mean we're, like, smart in other areas, if you know what I mean.  If you don't, let's just say that the guy sitting across from me, a very mild-mannered, conservatively-dressed man who was very nice to me, kept spouting Republican talking points about how there should be no minimum wage, there should be fewer regulations when it comes to creating housing (he was joined in agreement by the guy sitting beside me, another person who, when not talking about these issues, was also really nice), and the perils of socialism.  While MAGAts in polos, khakis and masks are terrifying, it's the quiet ones, the men and women who look so normal they will blend into the scenery, that probably hold the most insidious opinions on politics and life.

This club holds a massive worldwide convention every year.  In one convention (probably one just before the pandemic), organizers apologized to attendees after some made allegations of sexual harassment and unwanted touching.  There was a Facebook group with club members who solely told racist, sexist and anti-Semitic jokes; the global board knew about this group but did nothing about them because ... uh, they believed in free speech or something.  That group finally got shut down after some members made a lot more noise about it.  Finally, I remember going out for beers one night with another sub-group, and one of the people there consistently wanted to tell jokes that always included oral sex.  Consistently.

We might be book smart.  We could be intense in our passions, and very probing with our curiosities.  That doesn't mean, at all, that we put the knowledge we have gathered to good use, or draw reasonable conclusions from what we learn.  And it sure as hell doesn't mean we won't say or do stupid things, or that we'll even behave like grown-ups.  I keep falling into the trap that because we are smart when it comes to one thing, we know what to do -- we are "smart" -- when it comes to all things.  You can't be further from the truth, and last night's dinner is a prime reminder of that.

May 12, 2023: Revenge Of The Anti-Vaxxers? (ETA at 4:46 P. M. On February 11, 2023 That It Should Be Anti-*Maskers*)

Scary thought popped into my head as I was doing some late-night grocery shopping at the local Hy-Vee last/Monday night.  As per usual nowadays, I was shopping with a mask on.  You may have heard that President Biden is going to end the country's COVID-19 emergency declaration Thursday, May 11.  That will end free tests, vaccines and treatments, which sucks, so I'll have to stock up on tests to take home and, maybe, get one final COVID shot for old-time's sake.

But I thought of one ripple effect from this.  Even though the end of this declaration has nothing to do with it, and even though it's no longer a requirement anyway, I wonder if I'll be able to shop, or do anything in public, with a mask on after May 11.  It's the imprimatur, the message implied by this end: "THE PANDEMIC IS OVER!" (even though it's not).  And if The President Of The United States says the pandemic is over, well, you scared, paranoid freak, why won't you take off your mask?

Admittedly I'm thinking about this because of what happened when I went out to eat at the place our club watches our alma mater's football Games at downtown Minneapolis Sunday night.  Some dude, obviously drunk, saw me sit down with my mask still on and asked me, several times, slightly varying his wording, why the hell am I still wearing a mask.  He repeatedly said he was "Just asking questions," to which I wanted to say that he was being a JAQ-off (JAQ?  Get it?  It's an acronym!), but I am going to assume he was sincere, even though I know he thinks I'm stupid for still wearing a mask when everybody at the bar and, I guess to him, around the world has stopped.

Add to the supposed order stupid people will think President Biden has made the real law that private companies can deny service and even order people to leave their properties, and I don't think I'm paranoid when I say I'm afraid I'll walk into a grocery store or a bar with my mask on, some dude that works there is giving me a hard time by saying, "You know, the President says the pandemic's over, you don't have to wear that thing anymore," and I'll reply, "I know ... force of habit," and then he'll say, "Seriously, take it off," and I'll go, "No, man, I'm keeping this on, please leave me alone," and then this asshole will escalate things and I'll either be led out in handcuffs or literally thrown out with my face pummeled ... and no mask.

I totally think this could happen.  There are a bunch of idiots who don't believe this pandemic was ever real and rail against all these COVID restrictions that have not been in place for at least 18 months and want to react violently against anything that reminds them of that dark time if those restrictions meant, to them, that they had their "freedom" taken away.  Masks, as powerful a preventative measure against getting any airborne disease as we have (although, to admit, I usually wear surgical masks and they don't stand much of a chance of preventing COVID from spreading), are its most conspicuous symbol.  So once they are given what they see as a green light from The Most Powerful Person In The Free World three months from now, hoo boy, they're going to make people pay.  They are going to get their revenge on all they believe enslaved them two and three years ago, even though those mandates were put in place to save lives, including and especially their ungrateful asses.  And I'll bet maskers are at the top of the list.

Great.  Another damn thing to worry about.

Addendum To: thudthudthudthud

So I woke up when this car shop opened this morning, around 7.  Brought it in hoping they'd find something and fix it before the day was over, but really, they had till Friday before I needed it back.

Instead, they called me just after I took a shower after working out in the morning, around 9:30.  They found the reason my car was making those thumping sounds: The lug nuts on my passenger's-side front wheel were either loose or missing.

Honestly, I thought it was a mistake, that these guys are starting a pattern of not doing their due diligence and really figuring out what is wrong with the car.  An hour later I got off the bus and went in to pick up my car, prepared to pull it right back into the shop once I heard the thudding.  But I didn't, and I haven't.  In fact, it runs like a dream.

So, lug nuts?  Really, just lug nuts?  I was prepared to get a new bearing, or C/V joint, or rotors, or shocks.  How could something way out on that part of the car make noises right underneath.  And furthermore, how in the hell did I not see lug nuts were missing on one of my wheels?  Yeah, this seemed to have happened out of the blue Friday morning, but I thought I had paced around my car at least several times between then and now, and I didn't notice a damn thing.

But finally ... who in the hell wants to steal lug nuts?  There's nothing special about mine.  And if the mechanic is right about only two being missing, what stopped a person who, supposedly, vandalized my car from just taking all four of my lug nuts?  He only wanted two, and wanted to loosen the other two to just mess with me?

Addendum To: Bye, Bye, Democracy

So the Republicans stole the House.  Successfully gerrymandering (this is why elections have consequences, especially the ones two years ago) will help you do that.  And the number by which Republicans will have a majority of the House can only be chalked up to gerrymandering.  Well, that and New York, which is its own shitshow of entitled and oblivious machine Democrats, MAGAts in Long Island, and Democratic judges who wouldn't let Dems cheat the way Republican judges allowed Repthugs to cheat when it comes to redrawing state maps.

We cannot wipe our brows that the "Red Wave" did not happen.  I think there was a sizable repudiation of Republicans for trashing Roe and sucking Trump's dick.  But because Republicans cheated, they now control one half of Congress -- the one that doles out the money, so expect nothing but fucking goddamn gridlock as they hold the debt ceiling hostage while demanding cuts to Social Security and Medicare.  Oh, and they'll do nothing but investigate every person connected to the Biden Administration, presidency, and family just because they want to destroy Democrats, no matter how much bullshit those investigations are.

Yeah, this was going to happen.  Still not right.  And we'll still not come back from this.

Bye, bye, democracy.

Pre-Election Day Tension

I'm nervous about today.  No -- I am scared.  I don't think it's going to go my way, the way things should go.  I don't think people care enough about the idea of democracy, and that the United States is supposed to be the shining beacon of it.  And I'm really scared that Republicans will win control of ... well, either chamber of the legislature or any statewide race here in Minnesota.  And I'm afraid a Republican will because enough people in the state believe in the idea of "fairness," and after years of allowing DFLers to run the state, they think it's only right to share.  That's stupid bullshit, because if Republicans win anywhere this time around, they're not going to share a fucking thing ever again.

I have followed FiveThirtyEight from time to time, but maybe I shouldn't have.  Partly it's because site founder Nate Silver has exposed himself as a libertarian/Peter Thiel whore.  Partly it's also because the news it's been giving me since the summer aren't favorable enough for me.  But on that thread, the recent a-ha moment I learned from reading journalism has lifted my guilt for no longer going on that website only because it makes me feel depressed.  Republican pollsters have, especially recently, flooded the ... I guess zeitgeist with polls saying Republicans are riding a red wave and will win Congress and shit.  FiveThirtyEight aggregates those polls into comprehensive, this-party-is-favored-to-win-by-this-margin, cut-and-dried odds.  The trendline has steered right in a big way; Silver now says that Republicans will take back the House and there's a pretty good chance they'll take back the Senate.  But that's with these shady Republican polls skewing the average.  That's done because Republicans are now playing mind games with both The Media and the electorate.  If they are able to influence the pre-election message that things are breaking Republicans' way, and then the votes say that Democrats won, that only boosts the narrative (the seeds of which have also already been planted by Republicans) that Democrats are cheating.  Conversely -- and this line of thought should get more pull than it is -- if it turns out that Republicans "win," they can say that the "honest" pollsters predicted as such, and so they can say that despite Democratic ratfucking (a total bullshit lie), The American People overcame that and spoke in unison that they want fascism.  Incredibly complex, incredibly underhanded, and incredibly frightening.

FiveThirtyEight has been wrong before.  Yes, it gave a puncher's chance of Trump "winning" in 2016, but it was getting only faint whispers of what was going on in Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania.  In no way did it (or could it) calculate him and Republicans illegally asking Russia to spread disinformation in order to brainwash voters into helping him win.  And there was no systemic, party-wide polling conspiracy trying to muddy the waters so that their narrative could either be justified tonight or be used as a rallying cry to fight cheating that never occurred.  I'm hoping the site is wrong again.  But I'm now scared of it.  I regularly use the News app on my phone, and about a few weeks ago it began displaying the odds of which party will win the House and Senate on its splash page.  That is giving FiveThirtyEight a lot of power.  Should it be given that power when people who are paying attention have noticed that's being manipulated?  And what about Silver?  He has to know that Republicans are fucking with him like this.  But he's a libertarian, and his odds are skewing the way Republicans want it to be skewed.  Does he care?  Or he is just going to say he only deals with "the numbers," when the political and psycho-social context are really the main story as to how Americans are voting the way they are voting?

---

I don't care what people think -- this is the truth.  If Democrats win (and by win I mean they get anything important, be it a governor's race or one of the two chambers of Congress, what have you), they won fair and square.  If Republicans "win," they cheated.  That is the truth.  There is no Both Sides Do It.  Republicans cheat, Democrats don't.  And so if a Republican comes out on top on any individual race, I will immediately believe that person won because of voter suppression, or fucking with the ballot box or the polling site or voting hours or initial invalidation of votes by some county-level hack.  As races drag on beyond Election Day, I'll figure Republican judges are helping Republicans win.  (Oh, don't forget gerrymandering.  That's why Republicans likely will win the House.  That bullshit fix was in back in 2020.)

There are conspiracy theories; you just have to believe in the real ones.  And the real conspiracy is that Republicans (not just Trump; they're allies when it comes to upending democracy) have successfully built a terrifying apparatus where they will claim any political race and pull out all the stops in order to keep it.  Republicans claim Democrats are already cheating, will cheat today, and will cheat tomorrow.  That's just projection.  Republicans do what they say Democrats do.  It's a goddamn psychosis, and it's a spell they've been under since the run-up to the 2016 election.  Some Russian just admitted it, for fuck's sake.  I know in my bones that if people investigate enough, it will be proven that the Trump campaign asked the Russian government for help in winning 2016 in exchange for something of value Vladimir Putin wanted.  Ever since Republicans shut up and went along for a ride that delivered them the Supreme Court, they haven't been able to get the taste of power out of their fuckin' mouths.  And so they believe in The Big Lie, and they'll suck Trump's dick whenever he demands they go down on him, and they'll copy his Neanderthal, Mafia-style tactics in order to take or retain power.

I hope correct-minded people can see through this.  And I hope enough people care enough to vote and stop this march to dictatorship.  But will they be disillusioned by inflation and this phantom idea that crime is running rampant in our streets?  Will they not believe these lies, but not care enough to vote because Both Sides Do It?  Or will they understand that the United States is sliding towards fascism ... and will vote for it because they believe that Republicans will magically lower gas prices?  I'm afraid the answers to all of the above are "yes."

---

I remember being at Herkimers bar in 2016, ready to see Hillary Clinton elected.  It was not going the way it was supposed to go.  Then I saw one brainwashed state -- I think it was North Carolina -- went red, and I went home and drank the rest of this bottle of shoju I was given.

I was at Bauhaus in 2018 when Democrats took back the House.  I was more relieved than happy.  But I don't think I can stomach going to an Election Night party tonight because I'm scared of what could happen.  Instead, I think I will do a combination of working late, watching Black Adam, going to a concert, and/or huddling in a coffeeshop and doing non-Election Day shit to distract myself.  Regardless of what I do in the evening, once I go home, I will pour myself a cocktail and hopefully drift off to sleep, then wake up to whatever fucking fresh hell awaits me Wednesday morning.