Giving My Sister The Silent Treatment Back

She texted me back just now.  Just remembered that this is around the time she pays me back for their cellphone lines.  If she hadn't texted me out of the blue, I don't know when, or if, I would have remembered she needed to pay me.

It was obvious she wanted to start a conversation with me, as if her flipping out on me over my name showing on a piece of mail she got in Hawai'i didn't happen.  She shut me down, I shut her down.  So after telling her to shut up and wait so I can check to see if I got her money, I dutifully answered her dumb, empty questions with one-word answers: "sure," "no," "fine."  She actually has the fucking balls to act as if nothing happened, like she didn't fucking put me down when all I wanted to do was help.  Goddamn her.  See if she likes the fucking silent treatment, shit. ...

May Justice Come To Assholes

Not just those who do bad, but assholes who insult in order to gain and keep power.  And I'm not talking about "karma," but "justice" -- not God's judgement, but consequences meted out by us, the people.

That's what I've been thinking about the past decade, minus four.

The Time Where I Almost Fucking Lost It Watching The World Cup

So I made the mistake of going to downtown to catch the last Matches of Group G almost a month ago.  I heard downtown was dead because it was dangerous (which of course is bullshit), plus there were no Twins or Lynx Games whose crowds I would have to worry about, so I thought I would have a good time digesting both Matches in relative peace.

I found a table where I would be able to see two TVs, each showing one of the Games.  One was farther from my vantage point than the other, but that was fine, or so I thought.  Shortly after I sat down, this group of three people sat at the table next to me.  That was OK, even though they got a little loud.  One guy ordered a round of shots and another guy was wondering if he could eat, and then I got a bit concerned.

Then, this fucking group grew like metastatic cancer.  A fourth dude came, then another group of some number, then another, then another.  They started blocking my view of the TV further from my eyesight, which was Egypt-Iran, the better of the two Matches going on simultaneously.  (That finished 1-all; in the other Game, Belgium routed New Zealand, 5-1.)  They of course started getting really loud, which only worsened when this same motherfucker who bought the first round of shots decided he was a bigshot and ordered a couple more rounds with even more shots.

As bad as that was, I really started to boil inside when they invaded my personal space which, in this specific environment, was my table.  The group got so big that a couple of them began standing inbetween my table and theirs, and their clothes and, for all I know, their body fat pushed up against and hovered over the side of my table.  I was already upset that I couldn't hear or see the World Cup Games I was there to see, so that shit really put me on red.

Then, some guy who probably was not part of their group (I'll get to why I say that in a bit) put his glass of water on my table.  The other end of this short table I was sitting at, but this was My.  Fucking.  Table.  And this asshole just walked away without it.  This was my red line.  This was the point where I lost it, or I had to do something while knowing I couldn't yell or punch someone.  I saw him talking to his group around the other side of the pillar against which my table was at.  I just grabbed the glass of water, went up to this dude, and said, "Hey, this is your water," then sat back down.  And he probably thought I was crazy and/or an asshole, but he, I guess, was puzzled enough to find another place to put the glass of water and then forget about it.  But at least that goddamn cup wasn't at my table.

As for these fuckers to the left of me, which seriously grew to about 20 or even two dozen people, it didn't get any better.  They got even louder and rowdier, and they even started pushing up against my table.  But hey, at least they got into the Eqypt-Iran Match like I was.  The only thing I can think as to why they seemed to be so OK with getting sorta close to me, and this is a complete guess, is that, and I was able to hear this with little difficulty because they were talking so fucking loud, they were in town for a conference of Asian journalists.  They were all Asian, as, of course, am I and, even though I didn't have that good of a look at him, the shit who left his water at my table.  They may have thought we were all a part of this conference in downtown Minneapolis.  I find it kind of funny since I have a degree in journalism.  I am out of the industry, way out.  And while looking at these drunk and dumb fucks ruin my night, it crossed my mind how many of these young, over-confident shits will wash out of the industry like I did.  From those who are able to carve out a career, I wonder how many of them will become "insiders" whose egos will be so big they'll become insufferable pricks who fall in love with the smell of their own shit.  Then again, they're Asian.  They might not be allowed to get that big.

Thinking/Wishing all of these journalists-to-be will fail was the only socially-acceptable way I could get back at these assholes that ruined my World Cup viewing.  Good luck in journalism.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -6).  For this Week's Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey, I am giving the top spot, and the ultimate superlative of Positive Numbers, to the U. of M. women's basketball team after I treat them with the all-22, so to speak, perspective.  They just played one Game this screening Week, a 78-73 Win over at Illinois on Sunday that finished their regular season.  But that gave the Golden Gophers a 13-5 record in the Big Ten, a 22-7 record overall, and, most impressive to me, fourth place and thus a double bye (you can't get more than two) in the B1G Tournament, which will start (for them) tomorrow/Friday.

On top of that, Charlie Creme says that the U. is in line for a 4-Seed in the NCAA Tournament, and thus the right to host Games for the First and Second Rounds of the Big Dance.  Compared to her first two seasons as Head Coach here, Dawn Plitzuweit has finally engineered the big turnaround in the program she was hired to do.  I wish it came much sooner.  But from what I consider the squad's nadir, blowing a nine-Point lead late at home to Maryland around the holidays, they have been in the ascendancy with a bullet.  I couldn't imaging these Gophs fighting for hosting slot.  But here they are, with a fighting chance to do that and to reach the second weekend for the first time since 2005.

They will play either Ohio St. or Indiana in their first tournament matchup.  This is a conference tournament, where motivations for teams that are already in the tourney are suspicious.  Could the U. make a run toward the B1G title Game ... and maybe win it?

#0: Timberwolves (Last Week: -1).  I was at Tuesday's victory over The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies.  But it didn't look like they were going to emerge victorious.  Memphis started out hot, especially from deep.  But Minnesota finally took a lead they didn't relinquish with about 6 1/2 Minutes left in The Third Quarter.

As wobbly as they looked, that Win completed a 3-0 screening Week for the Wolves.  They've won four in a row.  They sit fourth in the West, tied in Games behind the conference leader (which are The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics) with The Bastard San Diego Rockets.  They're not looking polished as they win, but they're winning.  This Week will be a busy one.  They finish a three-Game homestand with Games against Toronto and Orlando, then they'll visit both Los Angeles clubs Tuesday (The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers) and Wednesday (The Bastard Buffalo Braves-cum-San Diego Clippers).

#-1: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -2).  I feel bad that this club had a really good Week, going 4-1, but I put them down here because of what the Gopher women's b-ball team and the T-Wolves.  The only blemish was Sunday's 8-3 Loss at U. S. Bank Stadium to Kansas, which gave the Jayhawks a split of the four-Game series vs. Minnesota.  The Gophers did sweep Wisconsin-Milwaukee in a two-showdown set, also at Oooooos-Bahnk Stadium, Tuesday and last/Wednesday night.  I don't know if this is the apex of their season.  I hope not; they deserve more shine than I'm giving them this competitive Week in local sports.

This weekend is the Cambria Classic, formerly sponsored by Dairy Queen.  Unlike in years past, the field is, well, a caliber below.  No BcS schools here besides Northwestern.  The others are Southern Illinois (the Salukis and the Wildcats are the two teams Minnesota will not play), UNLV, South Dakota St., and Nebraska-Omaha.  I will hopefully be there to see all three Games, and all six teams, play on Saturday.  After that, the Gophs have a mid-Week two-fer at the Vikings stadium versus Gonzaga.

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -3).  I want to delve into their tumultuous off-season, but not this Week, because I'm tired and I have to wake up for an early shift today/Thursday.  Till then, I'll note that the Loons outlasted FC Cincinnati, 1-0, on a below-freezing Saturday afternoon at Allianz Field.  It was Kelvin Yeboah cleaning up a rebound off a Free Kick.  Glad to see Yeboah contributing early in the season.  And hey, James Rodriguez should be playing soon, maybe as soon as this Saturday night, when MNUFC travel to Nashville.

#-3: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!).  It's hockey, so upsetting ranked teams will happen.  Nonetheless, considering the rough year the Gophers are having, there are still some signs of encouragement that the youngsters on the team are learning and growing.  They were at second-ranked Michigan last Thursday and Friday and got a split.  They beat the Wolverines by a 4-2 score last Thursday before they returned the favor with the exact same score Friday.  But beating an excellent team, and on the road?  Encouraging!

Final series of the regular season is tonight/Thursday night and tomorrow/Friday night, when they host second- or third-ranked (depends on which poll you look at) Michigan St.  All seven teams in the Big Ten Hockey Conference will play in the conference tournament, the Quarterfinals of which (and which the U. will play) is Wednesday.

#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4).  Beat UCLA by five at Williams Saturday afternoon, got throttle at Indiana by 30 -- egads -- Wednesday.  Eh, it's Niko Medved's first season here.  They wrap up the season home to Northwestern Saturday night.  The B1G tourney begins Tuesday, and unlike the B1G's women's tournament, all 18 teams will play in a six-round tournament.  Thankfully, Minnesota cannot be one of the four worst teams in the league and must play that Tuesday.  However, they will play Wednesday, hoping to reel off five victories in a row.  Man, conferences are too big now.

#-5: Wild (Last Week: -Infinity).  Their post-Olympics sprint begins with a 2-2 Week.  Ass-kickings at Colorado and home to Tampa Bay sandwich Losses at Utah and home to St. Louis, a Game that was tied till very late.

Because of this recent swoon, Minnesota sits in third in the Central, three Points behind The Bastard North Stars.  And it's not getting any easier: This Week they visit (Las) Vegas and said Bastard Quebec Nordiques, then come home to start a four-Game homestand with contests against The Bastard Winnipeg Jets/Phoenix Coyotes and Philadelphia.  Hopefully Quinn Hughes will stop his starfucking, else he'll be the next example of both TDS and, more importantly, ETTD.

#-6: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -7).  No, I don't give a fuck that the Gophers won their WCHA First Round series over St. Cloud St. over the weekend.  The Huskies took the Goofs to a third Game in their series.  They did that by battling the U. to a scoreless tie in regulation of Friday's Game 1, only for SCSU to pot one and steal the tilt in Overtime.  Sure, Minnesota roared back with a vengeance, taking Game 2, 4-1 and Game 3, 6-1.  But it shouldn't have taken them three goddamn Games to advance to the Frozen Faceoff, where they will square off against 2-Seed and second-ranked Ohio St. at St. Thomas' new arena in St. Paul.  I fear for the Goofs' fates.

#-7: Gopher softball (Last Week: -5).  Got blanked Thursday at for-profit diploma mill Grand Canyon, 6-0.  Then, in the Hillenbrand Invitational in Tucson, Ariz., they defeated Howard, 4-1 in eight Innings, before getting creamed by Arizona (11-2), Long Beach St. (7-0) and ... Howard again.  They now sit at 7-13 with a strength of schedule that won't dazzle anyone.  They have not demonstrated they will be an even decent team this season.

They begin conference play at Indiana for three over the weekend, then travel to the St. Louis area to play mid-Week one-offs at Southern Illinois-Edwardsville (Tuesday) and Lindenwood in St. Charles (Wednesday).

Toxic Male At Work

Friday was one of the days where I hate customer service, and cringe when I remember that I was not told there was customer service when I got hired for this job.

It didn't happen to me, but to my co-worker.  I was going to go back to my work when I overheard her being interrupted by someone over the phone.  After several seconds where she was just listening, she slammed the phone down.  That got the attention of my other co-worker, to whom she had to say that she was confronted by someone when all she was asking for was information missing from the form.  What was really bad was that he immediately called back, to which she declined the call.  And then this piece of shit called again, and again, and rightly so, she declined the call.

I hate that this happened to her, and I really hate that this prick obviously got bent out of shape over something that pretty much every other person we have dealt with has just, well, answered.  I don't know exactly what he said, but it clearly upset my co-worker, so I don't need to hear it.  I asked her to hand over this asshole's contact information so I know who I'm dealing with if I ever have to deal with him.  I mistakenly threw it away, but I remember the name, the area code, and the client he was working for.  I hope that's enough.

I wonder why people are like that.  Then I remember that, even though I want to think I would never lash out like that, I have been upset at people.  And I was upset because something didn't go my way that I thought should.  Yet in the wildest reaches of my imagination, I could never scream at anybody if someone called me in a similar situation.  How could he feel so attacked, so hurt, over being asked for more information?  The fuck is wrong with him?

The only thing I wish I could have realistically done (because I want to get this fucker fired) is asking my co-worker if I could do calls for the rest of the day.  Instead I volunteered to take something off her plate when I should have taken the task that upset her.  I hate calling too, and this toxic male is the reason why I shied away from helping her in that regard.

Something Fun Shouldn't Be This Fucking Inconvenient

So I am doing this escape room with my brother, sister and niece tonight.  I want to look forward to it because it's, well, a fun thing to do, and I am doing something with my siblings, and I don't remember the last time I've ever done anything fun with them, let alone my niece.

Doing it tonight, however is a pain in the ass.  I work in The Fourth Position today, all by myself.  I need to get the work done because there is nobody else doing it today, and no one doing that job at all tomorrow.  For that reason, there is a chance I will be late.  I communicated my worry with my sibs.  But instead of offering a compromise, my brother just bought the goddamn tickets for tonight on his own.  I will probably have to leave stuff for one of my co-workers to do tomorrow, and that's not a good feeling to saddle someone with work to do when you had the chance to do it yourself.  I certainly wouldn't want one of them drop crap on my lap, but turnabout is fair play, and that is what I'm going to invite if I don't do all the work by myself today.

I have a Friday off coming up.  We certainly could have done the escape room then.  I can't see why we couldn't wait and do it then.  But nope, my brother said we're playing Friday.  So I have to fucking drop every goddamn thing and race to the escape room.  And I guess I shouldn't complain too much because my brother's the one buying the tickets, huh?

Moreover, my plan was to leave work early, go home, grab my sister and then go.  Going from work to home takes me in the opposite direction of the escape room, but that seemed to be the only way for all of us to play this game.  (It also necessitated me leaving work early if need be.)  This is the part that pisses me off.  While watching my alma mater's women's soccer team, I WhatsApped my sister that if I am able to get home in time, we have to immediately leave home to get to the escape room on time.  Then, she countered that she wants to go to the mall by herself.  She needs time to do that.  And, she wants to take my car.  I would then take my parents' very old van and meet her and my brother and my niece at the mall and the escape room in the evening.  Well, shit.

Being blindsided by her decision the day before fucking sucks.  I had to spend five minutes after I got home from the soccer Match taking out all the stuff I need to drive to work (sunglasses, sun visor, tire gauge to check the minivan's tires).  Also, this is the second time this week I've had to settle on the van while she gets to drive the newer car.  I sleep for lunch, and that's very hard to do in the van because the sun streams in through the windows; it gets hot and the radiation burns my skin.  It's no problem in my car because I have window shields that are fitted for my car's windows.  I obviously don't have them for the minivan, so I will probably be tired by the time we start the escape room because I haven't had my midday nap.  But worst of all is that I have to take this minivan in afternoon rush to the Mall of America.  Truthfully, I have no reason to believe it won't make it down there and back.  But it is a very old car, and I haven't driven it that far in some time, let alone driving it during afternoon rush.  There are certain aspects of this drive that will be foreign to me, and I hate needing to "learn" like this when my sister didn't have to shop by herself, and my brother didn't have to make the escape room tonight.  In other words, I think I am going to get into a car crash, or the van's engine is going to overheat, and I will fail to make it to the escape room.  It just feels like everything is getting set up this way.

Hate this.  Hate this all.  And I'm supposed to be having fun tonight, not feeling inconvenienced!

Well, My Fucking Father changed my bedspread.  He put in a powerstrip at the outlet where I plug in the fan; don't know why he thinks I need that.  And, of course, he rearranged my three pairs of slippers.

Fuck it.  I am going to order the slippers in a neat row, but upside-down.  Let's see if he turns them right-side up.  Let's see if he's OCD enough to invade my bedroom again.  Let's see if he really, really doesn't have a goddamn hobby.

I Did Something Yesterday That Still Terrifies Me

Goddamn my temper.

So I was driving to work yesterday/Monday.  Since I had my timing chain replaced, I've slowed down while driving -- for the most part.  But there was this van that got behind me, then changed to the lane to my left, then merged right in front of me.  Like, "Why are you gettin' that motherfucking close to me, you fucking asshole?!" close.  And I felt violated and attacked and as if my manhood was taken from me, and so I needed to take my manhood back.  So I went to the lane to our left, floored the gas pedal, and cranked my car back onto our lane and right in front of him.

But I didn't.  I did all of those things, but by the time I thought I was showing him up, he (and it had to be a he) moved one lane further to the right, and he was slowing down because he was getting onto the off ramp.  When I saw that I kind of dusted him but he was not in a position to see that I did, I stepped on the brake.  Hard.

I have had bouts of road rage like this before.  Rode my car hard many, many times -- accelerated to close to 100, then cut off the son-of-a-bitch who cut me off and slammed on the brake.  Afterwards, I always felt as though I may not have "succeeded" in showing who's boss, but I felt true to myself in taking back what was taken from me.  But not this time.  I'm not disappointed in myself.  But I am still shaking -- not exactly over what happened to me, but over what I did in response.  Yes, I've done this before.  And yet I can't believe I did this, or allowed myself to do this.

I'm getting older.  My uncle dying probably is weighing on me more than I am conscious of.  But I feel this sense of shame now because of what I put my car through.  It's getting older, and it's not as if I can afford to buy another one off the lot.  And I know that you hurt the car when you suddenly accelerate and suddenly brake.  And oh, by the way, I have new tires on it.  There's a breaking-in period of about 1,000 miles where you should go easy on them, and I sure as hell didn't yesterday morning.  Now, if my car is ruined after this one rush of blood to the head, then this model needs to be recalled for being a piece of shit.  But I can't let this happen again.  And I certainly can't allow this hard driving because of my road rage contribute to a pattern that will ultimately kill my car.

I am under no illusion that I will do what I have pledged to do in this blog post.  This prick (and by the way, the car that almost sideswiped me was a minivan from, I think, a company called Royal Transportation [there was a decal on this fucking vehicle], which I believe is a public assistance transportation company for those who cannot drive themselves, so I believe the driver was someone who was hastily trained in driving) could be riding my ass again this morning.  I am not absolving this piece of shit for what he did to me; I have never had someone merge in front of me so closely.  But that van's gone and I still have my car which I totally abused because this red mist descended in front of my eyes again.  People suck at driving, but I have to walk the line because getting revenge means I destroy the vessel that gives me mobility in this world.

Still have this aching suspicion that I've hurt this car past some irreversible point just because of what happened, though.  In the meantime, I think I will try and drive slowly -- and, Lord willing, let things go while I'm driving.  Just don't know if I will.

Plotting My Speakeasy Sojourns

I spend a lot of time daydreaming about things: How to get my revenge against people who did me wrong, fucking all my stripper girlfriends, and what to eat and on what days.  I know I spend a lot of time brainstorming the first two things, but only recently have I realized how much thought I expend on the third.  Turns out eating out is that important to me.

A subset of that obsession is going to speakeasys.  Man, I've gotten to be a fucking drinker as an adult.  Never drank in high school, didn't drink much in college beyond a glass of wine or two.  Once I grew up, though?  Man.  And I think that has accelerated since the pandemic ended ... and since I read an article about the early days of Volstead's, the new place with the clandestine directions to its front door.  I fell in love with the mystery of the speakeasy, and the thought that I know something other people do not.  It makes me feel cool, to be honest.

Since then, there have been a few others that have popped up -- Young Joni, Sooki and Mimi (now Bronto Bar), Cobble House, Flora Room, etc.  And I try to go to them as often as I can.  My initial excuse was that I needed a wind-me-down after a hellish day at The Fourth Department at work.  Since work in that position isn't so arduous -- and since I can't wind up my day at a speakeasy since most of them are not open Monday through Wednesday, the days where I now work The Fourth Department -- I don't have that excuse.  But I've come up with one for right now: The holiday season.  Because of that, I am trying to parcel out going to one of these bars once a week up to Christmas.  I might have to double up depending on other things I want to do.  But right now I am mentally trying to put the puzzle pieces together.  It's exhausting in an exciting way, if that makes any sense.

There is another wrinkle to all this: Just before I left work for the day yesterday/Thursday I checked my work calendar, and my boss has put me in The Fourth Department every day the week before Christmas.  Ah, just like old times, where I dreaded being stuck back there and leaving late every day, and thus my belief that I deserved to drink at a speakeasy was born!  Even though I only hit a speakeasy on a Friday of a week where I worked in The Fourth Department, I kind of wonder if I could hit more than one that week because, and I might lose you here, I am feeling kind of festive, and maybe I want to go out every night of the week before Christmas.  I'm still thinking about it -- whether I want to go speakeasy-hopping and, if so, which one on which day.  And the gears in my mind continue to turn!

Vexed By The Pushy And By The Slow

Alright, another instance where I hate myself.

So I was at the United FC Match Saturday night.  And goddammit, like last time, I had lost my temper by some skeetering prick pushing and slaloming his way past me and everybody else on his way to God knows where.  And just like last time, I took it upon myself to catch up to him in order to ... well, just like last time, I don't know, I don't fucking know.  So armed with pissed-off energy, I slalomed and pushed my way past people in order to catchup to this short motherfucker, who, thankfully, was going into the MNUFC store, just like me.  I finally caught up to him on the line going into the store.  And now that I was the dog who finally caught the car, the only thing I thought to do let this asshole know I got him was ... fan him with my program.  That's all I could come up with.  Now I was smart enough to stop after we got in to the store.  Well, maybe I stopped after we walked in a few steps.  Or several.

Affter I "accomplished my mission," and went to grab a beer, however, there was another goddamn pissant pushing his way past the crowd.  This is a tall (and probably Mediocre) White Guy who didn't have manners because he didn't he had to mind his.  So this red fucking mist descended on me again.  This piece of shit I failed to catch; he was too tall before he dove into the men's room.  But in trying to catch up with this pushy fucker, I got held back by a few slowpokes, and this time around, they really, really pissed me off.  In particular there were these two big dudes, one of whom I remember being dressed in a Portland Timbers jersey.  They were taking their time, talking to each other and walking very, very slowly -- slowly enough where I would have gone around them if I weren't fucking hellbent on revenge.  I was able to look around them, however, and I saw no one.  There was space in front of these two dudes for at least 15 feet.  And that angered me to no end.  Couldn't they see they're blocking up the concourse for everyone else?!  Again, if I weren't trying to catch up to that pissfuck, I might have taken a more calm approach to getting around them.  But I was, so I literally shoved my way past them.  Rudely.  And frankly, for at least those two, I'm glad I did.

Saturday night was a reminder that I'm no good around crowds.  People walk too slowly, so I push my way past them.  People walk too fast, and I take it upon myself to passive-aggressively extract my vengeance upon them.  Later on my walk to grab a beer, I ran into a group of people, all talking to each other, who may or may not have been in line, and I fucking hate those people too.  And like before, I would have dealt with that situation better if I weren't so pissed off in the first place.  I probably went around them, but it was possible I cut in front of them, if they were in line.

Looking back, I don't like how I acted.  But I lose my temper when I see unmannered people like that.  So maybe I should just get to the stadium, get food, get my beer, and then just go up to my seat.  But there are just so many people coming out to the Match that I'll still see asshole pushing his way through, and I'll just have to be a sheepdog and try and fucking hunt him down because I can't help myself.

Fuck This Rude And Impatient Prick, Part II

OK, so where was I?

Yeah, I wasn't going to be a dick about going to the bathroom.  And, for what it's worth, even though he got there before me, we both got to our destination.

So now, assuming that I take this not as an L but as a W, how do I get back on this fucker?  I literally back up after I pee and make him go around me, that's what?  Yeah, I was peeing like normal, and for some reason I stepped backwards like a weirdo instead of turning around and getting away from the urinal by moving forward and I backed up in front of him.  He moved around me.  A little.  I think.  I'll take that as revenge!!!

I don't know why people like him piss me off.  It's not like I can do anything about it.  But they do piss me off.  Because they are rude and they need to fucking pay.  So I probably will get into trouble trying to "get back at" these people in the future by doing something stupid, but those motherfuckers need to be taught a lesson, or at least be as inconvenienced as other people are when they inconvenience them.  Fuck 'em!

May 12, 2023: Revenge Of The Anti-Vaxxers? (ETA at 4:46 P. M. On February 11, 2023 That It Should Be Anti-*Maskers*)

Scary thought popped into my head as I was doing some late-night grocery shopping at the local Hy-Vee last/Monday night.  As per usual nowadays, I was shopping with a mask on.  You may have heard that President Biden is going to end the country's COVID-19 emergency declaration Thursday, May 11.  That will end free tests, vaccines and treatments, which sucks, so I'll have to stock up on tests to take home and, maybe, get one final COVID shot for old-time's sake.

But I thought of one ripple effect from this.  Even though the end of this declaration has nothing to do with it, and even though it's no longer a requirement anyway, I wonder if I'll be able to shop, or do anything in public, with a mask on after May 11.  It's the imprimatur, the message implied by this end: "THE PANDEMIC IS OVER!" (even though it's not).  And if The President Of The United States says the pandemic is over, well, you scared, paranoid freak, why won't you take off your mask?

Admittedly I'm thinking about this because of what happened when I went out to eat at the place our club watches our alma mater's football Games at downtown Minneapolis Sunday night.  Some dude, obviously drunk, saw me sit down with my mask still on and asked me, several times, slightly varying his wording, why the hell am I still wearing a mask.  He repeatedly said he was "Just asking questions," to which I wanted to say that he was being a JAQ-off (JAQ?  Get it?  It's an acronym!), but I am going to assume he was sincere, even though I know he thinks I'm stupid for still wearing a mask when everybody at the bar and, I guess to him, around the world has stopped.

Add to the supposed order stupid people will think President Biden has made the real law that private companies can deny service and even order people to leave their properties, and I don't think I'm paranoid when I say I'm afraid I'll walk into a grocery store or a bar with my mask on, some dude that works there is giving me a hard time by saying, "You know, the President says the pandemic's over, you don't have to wear that thing anymore," and I'll reply, "I know ... force of habit," and then he'll say, "Seriously, take it off," and I'll go, "No, man, I'm keeping this on, please leave me alone," and then this asshole will escalate things and I'll either be led out in handcuffs or literally thrown out with my face pummeled ... and no mask.

I totally think this could happen.  There are a bunch of idiots who don't believe this pandemic was ever real and rail against all these COVID restrictions that have not been in place for at least 18 months and want to react violently against anything that reminds them of that dark time if those restrictions meant, to them, that they had their "freedom" taken away.  Masks, as powerful a preventative measure against getting any airborne disease as we have (although, to admit, I usually wear surgical masks and they don't stand much of a chance of preventing COVID from spreading), are its most conspicuous symbol.  So once they are given what they see as a green light from The Most Powerful Person In The Free World three months from now, hoo boy, they're going to make people pay.  They are going to get their revenge on all they believe enslaved them two and three years ago, even though those mandates were put in place to save lives, including and especially their ungrateful asses.  And I'll bet maskers are at the top of the list.

Great.  Another damn thing to worry about.

Had trouble thinking about something to blog post about.  But right now I'm doing a back-and-forth on some hot girl who said something pro-gun a few weeks ago.  After thinking about it, I tried to reason with her on something, and right now, as I type this, she is going on an unhinged, Republican-type rant about ... shoot, I don't know.  But she's getting inflammatory, if not accusatory ...

... and she just blocked me.  Cool.  That's where that "conversation" was headed.

What I'm now scared of is her friends -- many of whom are men and very, very scary-looking, if the pictures are real -- coming after me online.  There's no telling how they can get to me -- or, maybe worse, my reputation.  Can't they see a hurt, scared woman is trying to sully my name just out of revenge?  It's not the first time some crazy person who irrationally hates me wants me to look bad.  I just hope I can defend myself.  I just hope people don't believe the lies.

Welp, have a good night, y'all.

Oh -- The Person Driving The Car I Dusted On The Road ... Works In The Same Place I Do ... Great ...

Yesterday/Tuesday morning, one of my nightmares came true.

So I was about to get onto the highway, but I had to cross over to the lane to the right in order to do it.  It was being blocked by a black SUV.  The lane it was on first breaks off to the highway going the other direction, and many times I see that cars in that lane go that way.  This one didn't, and I guess I was a bit surprised, because I tried to change lanes and I was ... I wouldn't say it was a close call, I saw the car, but we were, you know, close.  I then slowed down and filed behind it as we did the cloverleaf.  When we got onto the highway, that car was just cruising as I gunned it and veered off two lanes to the left.  I had to get to work.

I do get to work.  As I'm parking, maybe half a minute after I got there, I see that same goddamn SUV.  I noticed the license plate when I changed lanes behind it, so I know it's the same one.  And now I'm scared as hell that he or she knows that I was the one who got close-but-not-that close to it back up closer to our house, the directions to which he or she kind of now knows.

See, this is one of my nightmare scenarios: Getting into a road rage incident with someone who turns out to be a co-worker.  He or she might think why in the hell did I drive so fast if we got to the same destination within 30 seconds of each other.  Or ... he or she could be plotting his or her revenge for almost sideswiping him or her.  And dammit, I didn't even take a look at the driver!  He/She knows what I look like, but I don't know what he/she looks like!  Gah!  How stupid of me!

Addendum To: The Belle Of The Ball ... Or Carrie At The Prom?

I should have added more to my previous blog post that alludes to the title, which is a reference to the book and movie Carrie.  I feel as though I am being lulled and lured in by people with smiles on their faces but a dastardly agenda.  I'll let my guard down and begin to smile, and then, boom! pig's blood will rain down on my head.  And that's where the similarity ends because I don't have supernatural powers to kill all my enemies.

What I should have succinctly said was I am frightened that this is a set-up to make me look really, really bad.  I don't know what I'm walking into.

I Am Ashamed, And I Want Revenge (Oh, And There's A Story Surrounding This, Too)

Last night my sister and I had a talk.  It was about her best friend, someone whom she's known since they were 5.  They have differing viewpoints on a lot of political things, the latest being George Floyd.  Texts were exchanged between them, and between her friend and my brother-in-law (my sister's husband).  She asked me what I thought; I finally got around to talking to her last night.

I had a nit to pick with all three, but I generally thought all three had their hearts in the right place.  I thought that was that.  But my sister was not accepting that.  The differing thoughts between her and her best friend are really bothering her.  I understand that friends, even family, have been torn apart by politics and issues -- and feeling how I feel about the current state of the world, I accept that it needs to happen sometimes.  But I hoped that my sister and her friend would not throw away a 35-year relationship because of it.

So I asked why it was still bugging her, why she wouldn't let the issues behind her friend's texts to her rest until, frankly, the next racial incident that sets the country aflame.  My sister really felt as though she needs to bring up this issue with her.  Why?

Well, my sister isn't completely convinced she ever respected how our lives are in America.  We have been the victims of racism, and she believes that her best friend has white privilege over not completely understanding how hard it has been for this family sometimes.

And then ... you know, I need to be vague about what she said next.  Sorry.  What she said next is something only she can say -- it's not my story.  But she said she told me about it before, and (at this point I'm making this all about me, I confess) I have no idea it happened.  I am absolutely ashamed of myself for not remembering.  Concurrently, and I don't feel this way just because I forgot, I want revenge at the cunt who did this.  Because no one fucks with this family.

Oh, going back to my sister ... I think I now understand why she is affected by what her friend thinks.  I told my sister this goes to the core of who she is.  So she should bring it up, at a time when it's convenient for her and not for her friend.  And if she doesn't like what her friend says, then they're done.  Simple as that.

But going back to me ... I told her I still want that bitch's name.  And I also told her I am totally fucking hating myself for forgetting.

Fucker's Eavesdropping On What I Do In The Bathroom Now?!?!?!

Of all the intrusive, rude after-dinner "suggestions" he's offered, My Fucking Father served up the weirdest, by far.  Still pisses me the fuck off.  Offends me, too.  But this is weird.

He asked me what time I woke up tomorrow (which would be today).  I knew this was an in to telling me something stupid as an insult, but because I have to live here, I answered honestly.  So he thinks I should wake up a half-hour sooner to brush my teeth.  "You only turn on the water for like a minute," he said.

"You checking on me while I'm in the bathroom?" I reply.

"I hear things, let's just say."

OK.  He caught me.  I think I let my guard down while my parents were away, and I didn't go through my usual lie of turning on the faucet, getting the toothbrush wet, then waiting around to build in enough time where I would ostensibly wash my hands before I open the door.  I think I got more complacent ever since my hours were cut, and maybe the fact that I actually brush my teeth at night makes me think I could be honest and skip it in the morning.  Also, I have to now worry that he'll make this a big deal -- like, brush your teeth in the morning or I'll throw you out of the house.  Motherfucker will do it, I swear.

But to bring it up ... brushing your teeth ... I don't care that I don't do it in the morning -- who is he to tell me to do it?  Why does he care?  And why in the fuckety-fuck is he checking on me and how long I turn on the faucet in the morning?  Does he actually make it a point to check in the morning?  Is that what he does in the morning?  Is that why he gets up so early in the morning?  How ... fucking nuts do you have to be that figuring out whether or not your son is brushing his teeth in the morning is something you actually want to do?  That's not just rude, that's fucking crazy.

Just to get back at him I'll turn on the water for a good five minutes tomorrow morning.  I'll keep it on even as I pee.  And if he gets to checking my breath as I leave for work, I will punch My Fucking Father in the face.  I will do it, I swear.

Person Who Should Be Fired: That Bitch At The Movie Theater Last Night

Ugh!  I know I shouldn't use the word "bitch" anymore, but my God, I've used it so often I really, really want to use it because it is so accurate to use that word for this narcissistic girl -- white, shorter than me, glasses, fat -- who has shitty customer service skills.  I know I cannot keep going on and on and on about shitty service, but goddamn, I hate it when people in positions like her won't say thank you.  Yes, it's important to me!  Yes, I think it's important, period!

But this fucking idiot (guess I'm finding words to describe her besides "bitch") hit the sweet spot of both rude and shallow.  It was going downhill when she answered my question about whether the theater had small sizes with a terse and quiet "No."  But her ill-mannered cherry on top was when I asked for my receipt.  Like some anti-social psycho, she printed it, ripped it off the dispenser, folded it, slapped it right in front of the popcorn I hadn't yet picked up (handing things is important to me, OK?), then started talking to her co-workers while I was still at the cash registered.  Oh, how rude.  Oh, what a rude cunt (yes, I know I really shouldn't say that, but women aren't that protected of a class of people to the point where I can't use a gender-specific insult, please??).

My only recourse is to not go back.  Maybe I can go on the website and complain about this asshole.  Or go on Yelp.  Yeah, Yelp is where everybody complains about everything.

More Of Mother's Blaming Bullshit

All I wanted to do was ask because I was concerned.

OK, so in the blog post I posted, like, two hours ago I said that Mother wanted my help printing some things at the library.  Just before leaving today (I am at Diamonds right now on the way to the Vikings game) I asked Mother if everything went well.

To which she replied, and I paraphrase: "You did not tell me about the other bills!  They were in the big envelope!  You were supposed to put them together!  I find them but I got so confused!  I paid the bills before I put them together!  You're supposed to put them together!"

Normal, well-adjusted mothers would say something to the effect of, "Those other bills came in.  They were in the big envelope.  I don't know why they all didn't come in that one envelope.  But it's all good."  But I don't have a normal, well-adjusted mother.  I have a bitch.

What I did was ask her if she was able to pay everything, which was the point of all this.  And then I turned around, gave her the finger, and said under my breath, "That's what I get for asking.".  But honestly, I am roiling inside.  Angry at her, and angry at myself for walking into her trap.  That fucker does this shit all the time -- blaming me for things that happen to her and, on top of that, communicating that in a way that is nothing more than finger-pointing.  I guess I missed that the bills were shipped in a different envelope.  But it ain't such a huge goddamn deal when you had all of them together, and it doesn't really matter if you were able to pay all the bills you need to pay, does it?

I can't let this stand.  My Fucking Mother has to know this bullshit she pulls is not OK.  But I don't want to go on and on about this because this will affect my frame of mind.  It already is; I kind of got into it with a couple of cars on the streets on my way here to Diamonds.  And I have to go to work and I know I'll have to deal with other stressors there which, once they trigger me, will pull me back to what this cunt did to me just now and it'll take my damndest to not spiral into an argument.

My "comeback," such as it is: Just before I left the house I took the Sharpie out of my bag, went back upstairs and, with My Fucking Mother right there in the kitchen, crossed out a date on the calendar indicating I am not coming home for dinner that day.  It's not satisfying because it's passive-aggressive, but I don't think I'm smart enough to do something more direct.  I'll refuse her food when I am eating dinner tomorrow, or something.

Process through, and try to let go.

Some Asshole Stole My Credit Card Information Today

It seems to be happening to everybody.  I finally got caught -- for the first time ever in my life, but I got caught.

I was at The Local, watching both African Cup of Nations Semifinals (the first Match, where Senegal won because of a Tunisia Own-Goal, went long, but I got completely enamored by the Djokovic-Federer Wimbeldon Final, so I decided to not call bars around town and instead just sat and ate a lot).  I had paid for everything near the end of the Algeria-Nigeria Game and moved from a table to a bar.  As I was about to drink my Coke and water to leave, I got a message on my phone.  It was from my bank, or at least a number posing as a bank, asking if I bought something for over $200.  My very first thought was that this is a spam message -- and I like to think that many of you would think that same way.  But lifting credit card information happens a lot, too.  Plus, I thought that if it was lifted, it was lifted from ... The Local, the place I gave my credit card info to.  So I decided I should leave now, get home and check, just in case.  In retrospect, maybe I had this reflexive fear that the person who stole my credit card number was still there, and that I had to leave there, and that person, because I got scared.

At any rate, I got home and, while peeing in the bathroom, I checked my credit card online, and ... there was a charge I didn't make on my credit card.  In fact, there were two.  And without any input from me (I had yet to reply to that text, which I realized was in fact real and legitimate), they disputed both charges automatically.

And then came even more surprising things.  I reflexively checked my e-mail, and my bank had e-mailed me about not just those two charges I didn't make but the last three (legal) transactions before those two that I did make.  And after I got out of the bathroom I checked my phone, only to see that the number I had seen on the text and the e-mail was calling me.  I was at first greeted by an automated message, which took its sweet time listing the charges they had flagged.  (I can see this as a huge problem if 1] you are freaking out over getting scammed and 2] you are in a situation where you can't stay on the phone while you listen to a voice slowly detailing charges in question.)  I indicated I did not make a couple transactions, so I eventually got someone in my credit card's fraud department after, oh, five minutes.  (Again, it could be worse, but it could be better, and thank goodness I was at home and had nothing to do.)  Getting a human accelerates things; I told them there were two charges I didn't make but the one at The Local I did make, and he told me he is closing down my beloved credit card and expect a new one in ten days.  And that's it.

Two big takeaways from this.  I asked the fraud rep is there any way I can track down where, and maybe who, lifted my credit card information.  Because I am both fearful and downright upset that this happened, and I want revenge, now.  But he told me not to because it could have happened anywhere.  My first thought, just because of proximity, is The Local.  I don't remember ever seeing my waitress ever, for example.  But I've been there plenty of times before, and my credit card wasn't stolen then.  Also, I plan on watching soccer there in the future, so maybe tweeting or even confronting the manager might not be the smartest thing to do.

But one of the transactions listed on the e-mail was from the time I went to Taco John's Friday.  I had always wanted to go there, and this was finally an occasion to eat at a standalone Taco John's, something I had never done before.  But I was upcharged for a medium combo when, once I realized this, I could have gotten a small.  Add to it the somewhat nonplussed customer service I got there, and I can see some prick working there -- maybe even my cashier? -- putting in a skimmer to skim my credit card number.

However, it's also possible that it got lifted while I was on my data plan at work.  You see, there have been a few United FC matches, for Open Cup Games and Friendlies, that have offered a flash sale for season ticketholders like me.  But they only last for a few hours, and they have all ended at 4 -- only a half-hour after I get out of work.  I have always been afraid of using my credit card on a network outside of my home's in a place outside of the house.  But like I said in my previous blog post, I think I have sold my soul to soccer.  So, after I clock out, I have logged on and ordered tickets to those Matches with my credit card, which is installed on my phone.  When I thought about doing this the first time, I was scared that someone would somehow lift my credit card while I do this.  Maybe this was done here?

At any rate I don't know how it got lifted, so maybe it's best to not act on partial info and speculation.  (I think, just for my own paranoid sake, I'm going to stay away from those places for a little bit.)  That's probably because of my other takeaway: With no prompting from me, my credit card and my bank, of their own volition, flagged charges they deemed suspicious and used every line of communication they had (text, e-mail, call) to ask, essentially, if I have been a victim of credit card theft.  Like I said, if this had been at work, I would probably not see this as favorably as I do now.  Also, I'm not out of the woods; I hope I'm diligent enough to check all my accounts online in the short term, and I also hope to remember to ask for a credit report, which is free.

But I had a fleeting thought through all of this, about how these guys were just a tad ... oh, intrusive.  They knew things about me I didn't know, and they initiated things I had not agreed to.  It does come off, at least on its face, as Big Brother-ish.  But on the other hand, I remember that, not too long ago, credit card fraud (and identity theft) was so new that the onus on proving you did not charge dubious transactions was on the consumer.  I have no idea if this is still the case, but I remember in news stories in the past that people would have to take years and make hundreds of phone calls and letters in order to clear themselves of charges they did not make and clean up their credit report filled with things they did not do.  Again, I still need to check in case I need to do something.  But right now, it looks like my credit card and my bank automatically trusts me and, in fact, went above and beyond to help me.  In that sense, this is not something Big Brother would do -- this is something a guardian angel would do.  So, although I feel a little less secure, I feel good that something or somebody out there is looking out for me.  And if getting my credit card information stolen is inevitable -- and I've felt for a long time that this was going to happen to everyone, including me -- what has happened so far today is the best they can do, and that is enough.