Fucker's Eavesdropping On What I Do In The Bathroom Now?!?!?!

Of all the intrusive, rude after-dinner "suggestions" he's offered, My Fucking Father served up the weirdest, by far.  Still pisses me the fuck off.  Offends me, too.  But this is weird.

He asked me what time I woke up tomorrow (which would be today).  I knew this was an in to telling me something stupid as an insult, but because I have to live here, I answered honestly.  So he thinks I should wake up a half-hour sooner to brush my teeth.  "You only turn on the water for like a minute," he said.

"You checking on me while I'm in the bathroom?" I reply.

"I hear things, let's just say."

OK.  He caught me.  I think I let my guard down while my parents were away, and I didn't go through my usual lie of turning on the faucet, getting the toothbrush wet, then waiting around to build in enough time where I would ostensibly wash my hands before I open the door.  I think I got more complacent ever since my hours were cut, and maybe the fact that I actually brush my teeth at night makes me think I could be honest and skip it in the morning.  Also, I have to now worry that he'll make this a big deal -- like, brush your teeth in the morning or I'll throw you out of the house.  Motherfucker will do it, I swear.

But to bring it up ... brushing your teeth ... I don't care that I don't do it in the morning -- who is he to tell me to do it?  Why does he care?  And why in the fuckety-fuck is he checking on me and how long I turn on the faucet in the morning?  Does he actually make it a point to check in the morning?  Is that what he does in the morning?  Is that why he gets up so early in the morning?  How ... fucking nuts do you have to be that figuring out whether or not your son is brushing his teeth in the morning is something you actually want to do?  That's not just rude, that's fucking crazy.

Just to get back at him I'll turn on the water for a good five minutes tomorrow morning.  I'll keep it on even as I pee.  And if he gets to checking my breath as I leave for work, I will punch My Fucking Father in the face.  I will do it, I swear.