I got something to blog about!
So I ran out of my generic mouthwash Thursday -- not like the Listerine, but the ACT (or generic ACT) that the FDA has approved to actually rebuild the enamel on your teeth. I had already bought its backup at Target last week, so running out isn't an issue. Besides, all those trips to the U. Dental School has given me packets of extra mouthwashes, as well as toothbrushes and toothpastes. (Do other dental clinics do this?)
Felt it was high time to start using these free bottles. So, by earliest date of expiration -- I have, like, a lot of these bottles -- it was time to use the Listerine mini-bottle that expired way back in 2014. But I needed to figure out how much I'm supposed to use each time out.
That reminded me of something that grinds my gears. And it's something I had noticed some time ago. Two things, actually.
My big bottle of enamel-building mouthwash has a measurement line inside of its cap. That way I know when to fill it up to 10 mL, which, according to the instructions, is the amount of mouthrinse I need to use each time. (Caps doubling as cups is one of the miracle inventions ever made.) I sure could use a cap with a measuring mark on its inside for this mini-bottle of Listerine. But since it's a mini-bottle, and presuming that the amount I'm supposed to swish is going to be larger than the capacity of the mini-bottlecap, it's ridiculous to wish for such a thing. I just remember I was on vacation and I brought a mini-bottle of Listerine with me, and I didn't know how much I should have poured out, and so I just guesstimated while directly taking it into my mouth.
The more annoying thing is when I actually looked at the instructions to see exactly how many milliliters I am supposed to use at one time. When I peeled the instructions open (two-sided instructions on bottles is another one of the miracle inventions ever made), I found it, and it read, "Use 20 mL twice a day."
I looked at the front of the bottle. The mini-Listerine has a total of 36 mL.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. It's a travel-sized bottle, of course. But it makes no sense to me that the bottle is large enough only to be used twice -- and technically, if you want to go by actual amounts, less than twice. And you're supposed to use the Listerine twice a day, so if you follow its rules to a T, one would be finished with that bottle in a day. What the hell good is a travel-sized bottle of mouthwash if you're done with it in a day? If you're on vacation, you're on vacation for more than a day. Come on now.
And by the way, what in the fuckety-fuck is with the non-round number of mL in the bottle? I'm supposed to swig 20 mL, but you can't give me 40 mL? You have to shortchange me 4 mL the second and final time I use this product? You can't add four more milliliters to that tiny bottle? Listerine can't manufacture a slightly bigger mini-bottle?
Anyway, I kept around the old bottle of mouthrinse because I knew I would need the measuring cap. I used that to pour out only 9 mL of Listerine because nine divides into 36 evenly. And I am going to use that mouthwash only once nightly, when I go to bed. That means I will get four nights of Listerine out of that mini-bottle. Beats the shit out of one night, that's for damn sure.
So I ran out of my generic mouthwash Thursday -- not like the Listerine, but the ACT (or generic ACT) that the FDA has approved to actually rebuild the enamel on your teeth. I had already bought its backup at Target last week, so running out isn't an issue. Besides, all those trips to the U. Dental School has given me packets of extra mouthwashes, as well as toothbrushes and toothpastes. (Do other dental clinics do this?)
Felt it was high time to start using these free bottles. So, by earliest date of expiration -- I have, like, a lot of these bottles -- it was time to use the Listerine mini-bottle that expired way back in 2014. But I needed to figure out how much I'm supposed to use each time out.
That reminded me of something that grinds my gears. And it's something I had noticed some time ago. Two things, actually.
My big bottle of enamel-building mouthwash has a measurement line inside of its cap. That way I know when to fill it up to 10 mL, which, according to the instructions, is the amount of mouthrinse I need to use each time. (Caps doubling as cups is one of the miracle inventions ever made.) I sure could use a cap with a measuring mark on its inside for this mini-bottle of Listerine. But since it's a mini-bottle, and presuming that the amount I'm supposed to swish is going to be larger than the capacity of the mini-bottlecap, it's ridiculous to wish for such a thing. I just remember I was on vacation and I brought a mini-bottle of Listerine with me, and I didn't know how much I should have poured out, and so I just guesstimated while directly taking it into my mouth.
The more annoying thing is when I actually looked at the instructions to see exactly how many milliliters I am supposed to use at one time. When I peeled the instructions open (two-sided instructions on bottles is another one of the miracle inventions ever made), I found it, and it read, "Use 20 mL twice a day."
I looked at the front of the bottle. The mini-Listerine has a total of 36 mL.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. It's a travel-sized bottle, of course. But it makes no sense to me that the bottle is large enough only to be used twice -- and technically, if you want to go by actual amounts, less than twice. And you're supposed to use the Listerine twice a day, so if you follow its rules to a T, one would be finished with that bottle in a day. What the hell good is a travel-sized bottle of mouthwash if you're done with it in a day? If you're on vacation, you're on vacation for more than a day. Come on now.
And by the way, what in the fuckety-fuck is with the non-round number of mL in the bottle? I'm supposed to swig 20 mL, but you can't give me 40 mL? You have to shortchange me 4 mL the second and final time I use this product? You can't add four more milliliters to that tiny bottle? Listerine can't manufacture a slightly bigger mini-bottle?
Anyway, I kept around the old bottle of mouthrinse because I knew I would need the measuring cap. I used that to pour out only 9 mL of Listerine because nine divides into 36 evenly. And I am going to use that mouthwash only once nightly, when I go to bed. That means I will get four nights of Listerine out of that mini-bottle. Beats the shit out of one night, that's for damn sure.
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