Monday I was just as shitty at work as I was on Friday. Forgot to reset the setting on the scanner before my co-worker used it. Forgot to print off a page that I needed to attach with a folder I worked through. And because of the virus I now use a napkin whenever I write with a common-use pen that the department uses, and I left that napkin, filled with my germs, right on that common-use pen for another co-worker to use.
I will offer an excuse: All day I was distracted by the prospect of My Fucking Father coming down on me for not cleaning my room. I was woken up at 6 this morning by his heavy stomping feet and his incessant, allergy-triggered (at least I hope) coughing. Fucker's about to throw a tantrum, that's what that means. (He didn't at dinner, at least not yet.) Somehow I was able to fall back asleep for another two hours, but all day at work I was worried about what he would threaten. And then I spiraled down into self-pitying thoughts, situations where I was either helpless or led astray, and through their (Father's and Mother's) decisions or actions or inactions, I was, well, ran over, had my food spill onto the ground, hit by a part of a tree while I was in the middle of rapids, etc. (I have very weird dreams when I'm feeling sorry for myself.) All the while I was missing things I needed to do at work.
Hmmm. Maybe I can now create a list of what I need to remember to do from now on:
- Make sure "those folders" go to the person who does them that day.
- Scan those "special applications" to the sixth and bottom directory.
- Reset the setting on the scanner once I'm done scanning said "special applications."
- Print off those pages you need to send with the folders, get them from the printer, and put them in the folder. (This is a big one; I've forgotten to do that a lot in, like, the past six months.)
- Finally, take my napkin with me once I use it to write with something.
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