Addendum To: Tirangry (Scheduled Post)

Went to the State Fair at its opener last night.  And even though it was beautiful -- the babe talent was on-point! -- I just got ... tired and angry after a while.  I got tirangry again, and it consumed me so much that for a while there I kind of forgot where I was going.

I went to the fair after stopping off at the post office to deliver a package to my folks.  They wanted me to send this package, and they insisted I use USPS instead of FedEx or UPS.  I realized that even though this was a relative mild argument, them disagreeing with me has been a main characteristic of my relationship with them.  I then realized that much of the time, I feel worse about myself after I talk to them.  Seems obvious now, but I hadn't been able to put it into such elegant terms until now.

Anyway, I did a lot of walking and a lot of thinking and soon I just spaced out.  The beer, a great Black Currant-flavored cider from Sociable, got me fatigued real quick, but I still had a fair to walk through and food I wanted to eat.  And then these thoughts came back to me ... of my family letting me down ... of getting cold-cocked in the face ... of people apologizing to me for screwing me over and me lashing out at them as revenge ... of me hitting somebody, and actually connecting, and actually hurting them.  I was consumed by all those thoughts in the, oh, back half of the Fair, even though I had a great time, or at least I thought I did.

You know, maybe sleep is what I need.  Should end this blog post now.