The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Timberwolves (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  OK.  I think I can believe now.

A 4-0 sweep over a powerful Phoenix Suns core of Kevin Durant, Devin Booker and Bradley Beal, a team that kicked their asses three times during the regular season, a nightmare matchup that everybody thought would at least test the heretofore untested, higher-seeded Wolves?  I have no ideas as to how they flipped the script except for, well, coaching (Chris Finch should be Coach Of The Year) and a decision by the team to play Defense and play it very, very well.  Standing up against the Suns' starting five -- led by the now transcendent Anthony Edwards, who I was very, very wrong about -- Phoenix instead crumbled, and I never thought that was going to happen based on what I had seen.

Oh, and Naz Reid won Sixth Man Of The Year.  Fantastic.

Denver probably awaits.  I, however, cannot.  This Timberwolves team, this franchise, feels different.

#0: Twins (Last Week: -3).  It's a testament to how well things are going locally that the local Nine could sweep the entire screening Week (7-0) containing two full sweeps and they would not be the top team in the WMNSS.  Yes, it helps that they're beating up a potentially historically bad White Sox squad at home and at an Angels team that thought they could convince Shohei Ohtani to stay even though they haven't done shit during his tenure.  Also, they're still in fourth place despite their fantastic run of form as of late, even though the deficit behind first-place Cleveland is now 4 1/2 Games.  But suffice to say that with their offensive impotence and weak start, they needed a Week like this.  And it could continue as they face the Pale Hose at Comiskey for three starting today/Monday.  They then host Boston for a trio beginning Friday.

#-1: United FC (Last Week: 0).  And hey, I'm starting to believe in Eric Ramsay, too!  I have no personal animosity toward Adrian Heath.  He got the organization up and running, and his decisions in personnel and tactics gave the franchise a level of respectable success.  But I still go back to the Loons blowing 16 leads over 14 Matches in all competitions last Year, and even I was open to change.

Enter the 32-year-old Ramsay, who has not been afraid to mix things up.  He did it again Saturday at home versus Sporting Kansas City, where he deployed a 5-3-2- with a pair of Strikers, Teemu Pukki and Tani Oluwaseyi, up top.  Moreover, his prowess as a Set Piece Specialist splendidly came through when Joseph Rosales' Corner Kick eventually found the foot of Michael Boxall at the far end of SKC's Goal, giving MNUFC a lead in the second Minute.  Playing from ahead?  That's different!  Oluwaseyi scored in the 25th on a Goal that looked offside to me, but VAR checked and said it was good.  Alan Pulido finally made all of their runs down the left side work as he scored in the 37th.  But another refreshing change to previous Loons campaigns is that they were able to hold the lead in a scoreless Second Half (even though Ramsay sounded none too pleased after the tilt), winning 2-1.

United FC are technically fourth but tied on Points with third-place Vancouver and only one Point behind Real Salt Lake and The Los Angeles Galaxy.  They've also won their last two, with a visit to Atlanta United Saturday up next.

#-2: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -1).  A 4-1 Week catches my attention.  Feel sorry that the U. nine ard down this far in the survey.  Got a midweek two-Game sweep at home over St. Thomas, even though the Tommies pushed the Gophers to 11 Innings before Minnesota won, 7-6.  And hey, they won a series!  On the road, in fact, over Penn St. in which they dropped the Friday contest.

They play the next two series at home in the last homestand for Head Coach John Anderson.  First up: Three vs. Nebraska.

#-3: Gopher softball (Last Week: -2).  Unfortunate that this club has often been at the bottom of this survey this season.  They are this Week too, but losing a midweek Game at home against a smaller local school merits that; on Wednesday, they got shut out at Cowles Stadium by South Dakota St., 7-0.  Oy.  They then went to Iowa, but had their series with the Hawkeyes delayed because of inclement weather.  They began their set Saturday with a 7-5 Win, but lost in nine Innings yesterday/Sunday afternoon, 6-2, and now they will finish their series this/Monday afternoon at 11.

Furthermore, their weekend series at home against Nebraska is the final series of the regular season.  They've already clinched a spot in the Big Ten Tournament.  They're now playing to get a bye past the First Round.  Yep, despite their bottom-feeding in the WMNSS, they're in fourth place in the B1G.  A sign that everyone in this week's Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey is living a charmed life!

Sidelined Again

It looks like I won't be in The Fourth Department this week, either.  Someone who hasn't been back there is taking up the back half there for the week, and the first half of the week is being dedicated (at least for now) by the person who is getting trained and probably needs lots of reps to get into the swing of things.  But I still can't help but feel sidelined.  This, coincidentally, is a great way to keep me off of overtime.

Ugh.  Right now I feel like I should be making more than I am.  So, why aren't I doing something about it?

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: March 2024

From what little I've been able to let the month wash over me (last month was the month where both my parents finally came home), March '24 is average to below-average overall.  I can point out and commend five girls, and the top one is first due to, uh, "that" technicality.

In fifth place is Gracie, from Weston, Fla.  Long and straight blonde hair with a blue two-piece bikini that's bordered in light blue.  She's cute and has a slim body, and she's tugging at the front of her bikini top like she's about to take it off.  That in a sense is a bother because she's obscuring her abs, but I am a sucker for acting as though she is going to go topless.

For that same hand tug, fourth place goes to Sophia, hailing from Mason, Ohio.  She has light and wavy blonde hair and is wearing a white two-piece that's bordered in baby blue.  In fact, Sophia's pose is pretty much the same as Gracie's.  I guess I'm putting Sophia in front of Gracie because Sophia is The Main Girl for the month.

In third place is Jazzlyn, out of Trussville, Ala.  Don't see too many Hooters waitresses with pure black hair, but Jazzlyn's got it -- it's long and straight, too.  She's sporting an orange two-piece bikini that's bordered in ... turquoise?  White with an extremely faint blue?  She has her arms away from her body -- they're held against the door frame she's posing under, thus showing off her body.  That is the only detriment, however: She is on the skinny/rail thin side.  Otherwise, the pose is fantastic.

In second place is Julia, of Garland, Tex.  Short-ish straight red hair, wearing an orange-pattered two-piece.  Julia also has her arms pretty much by her side, showing off her voluptuous body.  And she's smiling too, giving off the impression that she's down for some fun!

Finally, taking the top spot is Monet, hailing from Yuma, Ariz.  Very long, wavy black or dark brown hair, wearing a gray fabric two-piece bikini.  She is posing to the side, but she flicks out her ass.  She ain't showing much -- it might be 10% more than the modest bikini bottoms you will usually see -- but that is the technicality that I am referring to.  If any Hooters girl is showin' ass, regardless of the amount, she zooms to first place.

So congratulations to Monet and all the other superlative women for the month.  I have already masturbated to March 2024, but I will do so again right now.

Fuck This Excel Test

As part of my, uh, reactivation with my temp agency, I had to do two tests, one a speed-typing one, the other an Excel one.  I have done these before.  I think I do alright with the typing (even though I think I'm getting slower because I'm getting older).  But the Excel is one is always tricky.  I think I do alright when it comes to basic spreadsheet stuff.  But the assessments I have always taken for these in the past have tripped me up.  I have had a correct rate of 50%, give or take.

Leading up these tests I tried to find cheat videos.  But the ones I found had little to do with any of the tasks I had to figure out how to do.  But I had to get these tests done, so I just did them now while I'm here at the library.  And, suffice it to say, it sucked fucking big time.  The worst ones I had no clue how to do, even though I'm pressed to ever figure out a time when anyone in The Real World would need to, for example, text wrap a cell.  The one that kills me, however, is the one where I was asked to copy the date in one cell and paste it in the next cell.  I know how to do that, but as I tried copying-and-pasting, I got the two strikes against me that will tell the temp agency that I got this simple question wrong.

Well, fuck this shit.  I'm going to be offered temp data entry jobs that fifteen bucks an hour because of this goddamn Excel test.

To Hell With The Quiet Ones

First of all, a side note: I fell asleep because I felt my body get tired a bit past 6 in the evening, and I woke up totally refreshed around 2:30.  Wow.  I can't get my head around being able to get in a full night's sleep between dinner and the middle of the night.  But I just did that.  First full sleep I've had in weeks, too.

---

Yeah, yesterday was shit.  I think I would've been faster if I hadn't had to remember all the stuff I learned when I started.  By the time I finished up with everything, I accrued an extra 15-20 minutes in overtime, and I want to see if my boss is gonna be pissed about it.

I was wrong in something I said in my last blog post.  This person who bugs me in The Main Department didn't say anything when I screwed up.  Now, come to think about it, she is not one who pipes up when she sees something wrong.  She never has, so I don't know why I ever thought she would.

What she did instead, and what she usually does, is nothing.  My work procedure, at least as I knew it, was to go through my work and then pass it off to her, which is what I needed to do on this day because I was filling in for someone and she happened to be sitting adjacent to me.  For a good 15-20 minutes she didn't pick up this folder I passed along to her at all.  I didn't get it.  When this person was out of earshot, I spoke with another co-worker, one who is a bit more friendly.  She told me that we don't do this procedure anymore; instead of passing it down, we just do everything.  That would've been something I would've liked to have known.

That girl is weird, though.  If she is not finishing up these folders, she does not need to write anything down on this log that tells everyone we finished that folder.  And yet, after lunch, I look on the log and she put her initials on a folder I learned not to give to her.  Moreover, in this department we have a dedicated lunch time, and as everybody left, she kept typing away.  I get to freelance at my other positions, but not this one.  And I will venture to guess that she doesn't get to do what I think she did.  Also, near the end of our day, when it was obvious we were late, she just swooped in and did everything that still needed to be done.  That is something she's supposed to do because it was getting late.  Still, it bugs.  My excuse is that I got bogged down with a bunch of really, really bad folders.  I still was getting acclimated to the work she does every day, certainly.  But I can't help but think that she is cutting corners, and I have to think that she is annoyed with how slow I was.

OK, I am really going out on a limb here accusing her of things just based on my perception of her, but I don't care.  She's a blank space.  She rarely talks to anyone, she doesn't engage in chit-chat, and we know very, very little about her.  (Well, one story.  We had a team-building exercise last week, so to speak, where our boss was giving out candy for our work.  Most of the candy this year, compared to past years, were not of the chocolate kind.  I saw it, was disappointed, but grabbed the Starbursts and Skittles and all the non-chocolate candy that was available.  [I still have them if anybody wants them.]  Apparently, upon seeing the dearth of chocolate candy, this person shouts to the team that she doesn't want the candy, and then after being told by my boss she has to choose, complains while grabbing a bag.  If what I imagine that scene is what actually happened, what in the actual fuck?)

But that's the problem I have with her.  She is too quiet.  Normally, that's fine.  Hell, I'm usually quiet at work.  But when the only time you show any personality is when you petulantly let everyone know you don't like the free candy you're given, and you spend the rest of your time ignoring work I give you and staying after to do the work you want to do your way ... I don't care if I come off as a hypocrite, you're fucking weird.  There's nothing to you because you don't let anyone know what else is there to you.  Someone being this quite and all to yourself is a detriment to the work environment, almost as much as being too loud and too invasive.  And since I am getting shifted back to The Main Department more and more, I don't know if I can work like this, and with her.

First Time In A Long Time

Today/Friday is the end of my first full week back in The Main Department, but it may pose the stiffest test.  I am back in a position I haven't been in in a long, long time, that of checking for errors and reconciling information from one of our systems to another.  I am scared to death that I've forgotten and will screw stuff up.  Also, and more importantly, this position is one of four that is essentially tied together in an assembly line, and I am passing the folders to someone who ... well, I've spoken about her before, but she's the one who's kind of aloof and with whom I have had some passive-aggressive clashes with.  If I screw up, she may not like it, and she may not hold back in telling me how she doesn't like it.

Need to get back to job-searching. ...

Made Her Shudder!

One of the great things about fucking ****e -- actually, all of my stripper girlfriends with whom I mess around -- is they let me bite their tit.  Couple weeks ago, as part of our "ritual," I lick ****e's right tit, then come in and bite her left.  I hadn't done her in a long time, so I really wanted to mark the occasion by chomping down hard, so I did, and she shuddered so much she shook off her feet for a very tiny, brief moment.  That's when I knew I did what I wanted.  And when she consented to me being insider her anyway, that's when I knew I still had her as my stripper girlfriend!

Have Felt Fat Since Friday

I had the day off Friday.  Made the mistake of eating three times, each 90 minutes apart from each other.

I took the day off because I wanted to finally finish up my teeth cleaning at the University of Minnesota dental school.  The school has always recommended I finish get a ... what's it called, a varnish?  Insurance doesn't pay for it, but they say it revitalizes my enamel, and I should keep my teeth as strong as possible.

Unfortunately, as part of making sure the varnish sticks, I could not eat anything too hot, sticky or crunchy -- or alcohol -- for four-to-six hours.  That meant that my plans to eat a hamburger with potato chips and cocktail at this new dive bar (isn't that an oxymoron?) went out the window.  Or did it?  I decided that I may not be back there for a while, so I still went to the dive bar.  I just modified my order: I decided to upcharge my side from chips to french fries (the burger and chips are a lunchtime special) and drank water instead of alcohol.

However, I regularly check all my fast food apps, and Chick-Fil-A was giving out free chicken nuggets in conjunction with the Timberwolves playing in the NBA Playoffs.  I thought about just going to Chick-Fil-A, but ultimately decided I could eat a little at the dive bar, then eat a little at Chick-Fil-A.  I washed the nuggets down with a Cherry Berry Sunjoy, whatever that is.

I figured that whatever I eat for dinner at home I could cut back on, like a snack.  But dammit, that was the day Mother decided to make pho for us.  Normally I would it and scarf it down; it may be my favorite meal, definitely my favorite meal she makes.  Unfortunately, since I had a burger and fries and chicken nuggets and a sugary drink, I hit a brick wall when trying to finish.  Guess I shouldn't have asked for more soup, but Mother usually offers and I usually say yes.  Most of the added broth I couldn't eat, and there was some noodles and meat and green onions down at the bottom of the bowl I simply could not consume.  I feel ashamed.  Still do, days later.

And I haven't quite come down from feeling full since Friday.  That triple shot of meals over the course of three hours was a big, big mistake.  And I can feel it, and probably see it, whenever I look down at my fat belly.

I Did Something Yesterday That Still Terrifies Me

Goddamn my temper.

So I was driving to work yesterday/Monday.  Since I had my timing chain replaced, I've slowed down while driving -- for the most part.  But there was this van that got behind me, then changed to the lane to my left, then merged right in front of me.  Like, "Why are you gettin' that motherfucking close to me, you fucking asshole?!" close.  And I felt violated and attacked and as if my manhood was taken from me, and so I needed to take my manhood back.  So I went to the lane to our left, floored the gas pedal, and cranked my car back onto our lane and right in front of him.

But I didn't.  I did all of those things, but by the time I thought I was showing him up, he (and it had to be a he) moved one lane further to the right, and he was slowing down because he was getting onto the off ramp.  When I saw that I kind of dusted him but he was not in a position to see that I did, I stepped on the brake.  Hard.

I have had bouts of road rage like this before.  Rode my car hard many, many times -- accelerated to close to 100, then cut off the son-of-a-bitch who cut me off and slammed on the brake.  Afterwards, I always felt as though I may not have "succeeded" in showing who's boss, but I felt true to myself in taking back what was taken from me.  But not this time.  I'm not disappointed in myself.  But I am still shaking -- not exactly over what happened to me, but over what I did in response.  Yes, I've done this before.  And yet I can't believe I did this, or allowed myself to do this.

I'm getting older.  My uncle dying probably is weighing on me more than I am conscious of.  But I feel this sense of shame now because of what I put my car through.  It's getting older, and it's not as if I can afford to buy another one off the lot.  And I know that you hurt the car when you suddenly accelerate and suddenly brake.  And oh, by the way, I have new tires on it.  There's a breaking-in period of about 1,000 miles where you should go easy on them, and I sure as hell didn't yesterday morning.  Now, if my car is ruined after this one rush of blood to the head, then this model needs to be recalled for being a piece of shit.  But I can't let this happen again.  And I certainly can't allow this hard driving because of my road rage contribute to a pattern that will ultimately kill my car.

I am under no illusion that I will do what I have pledged to do in this blog post.  This prick (and by the way, the car that almost sideswiped me was a minivan from, I think, a company called Royal Transportation [there was a decal on this fucking vehicle], which I believe is a public assistance transportation company for those who cannot drive themselves, so I believe the driver was someone who was hastily trained in driving) could be riding my ass again this morning.  I am not absolving this piece of shit for what he did to me; I have never had someone merge in front of me so closely.  But that van's gone and I still have my car which I totally abused because this red mist descended in front of my eyes again.  People suck at driving, but I have to walk the line because getting revenge means I destroy the vessel that gives me mobility in this world.

Still have this aching suspicion that I've hurt this car past some irreversible point just because of what happened, though.  In the meantime, I think I will try and drive slowly -- and, Lord willing, let things go while I'm driving.  Just don't know if I will.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Timberwolves (Last Week: -2).  Well, shut my fucking mouth, why don't ya?  Really, all I'm doing when I'm hating on local teams and predicting they'll not just get swept but humiliated is motivating them to do prove me wrong.  That way, they win, the state wins, and I win!  OK, that's a lie.

Yeah, I was totally convinced that Phoenix would sweep the Wolves and end their breakthrough season in embarrassing fashion.  I have ample evidence: The Suns swept the season series, and they won all the Games by double digits.  Why would I not think that pattern wouldn't continue?  Well, this team, this franchise got serious about flipping the script, and on Saturday afternoon they fucking flipped the goddamn table, destroying Phoenix, 120-95.  Their Defense finally slowed down Phoenix's pick-and-pop, mid-range game; Kevin Durant went off for 31, but Devin Booker and Bradley Beal were tamed to, respectively, 18 and 15 Points, and moreover, Grayson Allen was held to only four.

Invigorating hell of a start, no doubt.  Now, can they win Game 2 and hold court?  Or could we be facing oblivion this time next Week?

#0: United FC (Last Week: -4).  What is a new Manager supposed to do?  Shake things up.  They were hired to, at the very least, do something different from the person he or she is replacing.

It was getting dicey there (IMHO) for Eric Ramsey, who won his first Match at the helm for the Loons but hadn't won since.  Finally, after getting the lay of the land and understanding how and why these had been done under the regime of Adrian Heath, he made some drastic changes for last/Sunday night's showdown at Charlotte.  Teemu Pukki, Bongokuhle Hlongwane, and Sang-bin Jeong were benched (and Jeong didn't even see the field); Tani Oluwaseyi, Franco Fragapane, and Kervin Arriaga started instead.  And Ramsey shifted the formation to an overloaded 3-4-3; Arriaga, Michael Boxall and Devin Padelford became Center Backs as Joseph Rosales, who kinda-sorts started off as a Left Back, turned into an extreme Left Midfielder.  The idea was to overload that left side and strike down the middle when possible.

The result?  A 3-0 ass-kicking of The Crown, giving Charlotte FC their first home defeat in 11 Months.  I caught the first Goal by Oluwaseyi on the radio (even though I really needed to see the Goal on Twitter/X to really appreciate the talent and virtuosity behind both the pass and the kick), but damn, I wish I sat down and saw it somewhere instead of exercising.  By the way, Robin Lod assisted on that Oluwaseyi Goal, then scored as he cleaned up an attack, then put a vicious swerve on a Corner Kick that Hassani Dotson headed into the net.  If Emanuel Reynoso, who is still in Argentina for some dumb damn reason, doesn't return to the team, I say Robin Lod becomes The Best Player In MNUFC History.

Saturday they host Sporting Kansas City in the resumption of The Nice Rivalry In MLS.  This may -- may -- be the start of very much needed, and very welcome, revamp of how this squad operates under a young, bright mind who may -- may -- be on to something.

#-1: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -1).  Crushed South Dakota St. at Siebert Wednesday, 11-1 in seven Innings.  This contest was mercy-ruled; I didn't know college baseball has The Mercy Rule.  They then lost two-of-three at home to Indiana.  Friday's Game was postponed and made up as part of a Doubleheader yesterday/Sunday afternoon.  The first tilt was also mercy-ruled, a 13-2 victory for the U. called also after seven Innings.  Still, this is quite disappointing.  If not for Tuesday's cancelled Game at home against North Dakota St., they would have the same record for the Week as the Goofer softballers.

Finish up what now is a six-Game homestand with a mid-week two-fer with St. Thomas.  They then play three at Penn St.

#-2: Gopher softball (Last Week: -6).  Split the annual mid-week Doubleheader with Wisconsin (at Cowles this Year) on Wednesday, then dropped two-of-three at Rutgers.  Yeah, this club, and program, ain't goin' nowhere this Season, either.  Hosting South Dakota St. Wednesday before playing three at Iowa.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -3).  OK, it is about time that have a full-blown fucking panic attack over the Twinks.  The top three Starting Pitchers seem to be fine.  Everything else is in the shitter.  The Bullpen continues to get shelled; Griffin Jax gave up the Game-ending Home Run on Wednesday that completed The Bastard St. Louis Browns' sweep of the Twinks earlier in the screening Week.  The Lineup continues to not produce; their Batting Average is the second-lowest through this many Games of the season in the past half-century.  And the fourth and fifth starters damn well better be an open competition since Louis Varland allowed four Walks and gave up four Earned Runs in only 2 2/3 Innings in yesterday/Sunday afternoon's 6-1 Loss at home to Detroit, giving the Tigers the series Win over the weekend.  The Twinks are now eight Games behind first-place Cleveland (whom everyone is worried will move because of the market and the payroll, but they always seem to overperform, at least relative to their current situation).  If not for the shitty White Sox, the Twinks, almost pre-ordained to win the A. L. Central, would instead be last.

Said ChiSox come to Target Field for a four-Game set.  They then travel to Anaheim for a weekend trio vs. The Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of. ...

#-Infinity: Wild (Last Week: -5).  Seemed fitting that that this season ended with a come-from-ahead Loss Thursday at home versus Seattle.  It's been a series of mediocrities played out in a pattern all year: A propensity to choke on leads, shaky depth behind the front lines, and an almost exacting inability to beat the playoff-bound teams (at Los Angeles in the penultimate Game of the Year notwithstanding).  Yeah, there is a lot of young talent: Kirill Kaprizov, Brock Faber, Matt Boldy, even Marco Rossi.  And maybe Jared Spurgeon will get this squad's Defense sturdy and impassable again.  But the second year of the salary cap bite because of the Zach Parise and Ryan Suter contracts gets to take another $15 million out of their pockets compared to other clubs in the NHL again next year.  They're clear after that, but it's going to be another season of shrugging meandering.  Hope none of the young guns get happy feet and demand trades.

Hey, in the meantime, can you change your name back to The Minnesota North Stars and grab the logo, the colors, the history, the statistics and the retired numbers?  You're not doing anything worthwhile for another 12 months.  Hop to it, Mild!

Sidelined This Week

For the first time in months, if not years, I am scheduled for a full week away from The Fourth Department.  Lot of changes for me, even though I started off with such a schedule.  I cannot help but think that my boss is sidelining me because of all the overtime I am forced to accrue back there.  And so that, to me, seems like a demotion.  And I don't like that.

On the other hand, I don't have to worry about him getting on my case over OT.  The Main Department is very time-controlled; unless that day's work doesn't get done, overtime there is next to impossible unless it's allowed for some other work that needs to be done.  But I don't want to feel relieved that my boss can't yell at me anymore because that would make me feel like a coward for not being able to put up with his crap.  So, no, I shouldn't like this week, especially since I now need to wake up an hour early, which I hate.

The only other upside (which has nothing to do with my boss) is that I get to go home immediately after work at a certain time.  That means, ironically, I have time to not go home and instead watch, say, Dune 2, or talk to my therapist over the phone.  I will probably complain to him about how I hate my job and need to find a new one.  Yeah, that's what I'm going to do after work this week.

Finally Going To See My Aunt Today

For the first time since my uncle died, I finally am able to keep my promise and visit my aunt this afternoon.  I'm terrified.  I have no idea what's going to happen, nor what I am going to say.  Hell, I don't know how long I will stay.  I don't want to just stand by the door and chit-chat so quickly that I could just keep my car running.  At the same time, I know my awkward ass could draw out the agony by asking dumber and dumber questions and overstaying my welcome because I want to look "concerned."  I think I need to go to the library tomorrow afternoon, and I'm still figuring if I should go before or after seeing my aunt, which I'm supposed to see at a specific time.  Even fretting about that makes me feel like a colossal dick.

I don't know what I should wear.  I don't know how to behave.  I don't know if I should go in for a hug, for God's sake.  I don't want to be too forward that I invade her personal space, and yet I don't want to be so reserved that I come off as cold.  I don't want to pry if my aunt's feelings remain raw, but I don't want to sound so distant that she thinks I'm trying to leave early.

Oh, God.  I know I have to do this.  I just don't know how to do it.

"TPM Device Not Detected" -- Oh, Fuck Off

My laptop was displaying a "TPM device not detected" message upon booting up today.  Freaked me the fuck out, of course.  I tried restarting it, shutting it down and turning it on again, but I still had that message.  Finally, I looked online for answers and, not understanding the fuck they were saying, I took the only advice I could decipher: Shut 'er down, then hold down the power button for 60 seconds to cycle down the computer.  I should've taken out the battery before I did it, but I have no fucking idea how to do that, so I didn't do that part.

I cannot believe that worked because the lap turned on even as I was holding down the power button.  But it booted up just fine without that damn "TPM device not detected" message.  And when I did some thing to confirm that this, uh, device was in fact detected, it was confirmed.  I don't know for sure how it wasn't detected at first and then it was.  But I am thinking that this TPM device is literally not plugged in where and how it's supposed to be.  That's because I don't use my laptop as a laptop.  I usually am lying in bed, and I am looking up as I use it.  I think I have literally shaken the computer to the point where this device got slightly jostled out of position, and I somehow got it back into position just by sitting it down on my bed.

Good fucking God, for a while there I thought I needed to buy a new computer.  Still might have to.

Dodged One Bullet -- Hope To Dodge The Other

Well of fucking course my dental appointment would be on the same day as the day the city of Minneapolis began to sweep the street.  But the street I was on seemed to be clean.  Isn't the rule that once a street is swept, you can park on it?

Based on that rule, I parked on a street that was clearly marked no parking for yesterday/Friday, even though it was cleaned.  I walked 20+ minutes to the other side of campus to get my teeth done.  Walking back, I thought about checking out a computer lab that I went to a lot when I was out of college and decided I didn't want to waste my life working and making money.  But I thought better of it because, well, my car might be towed.

As I got closer to my car, I walked past a street where a truck was being towed.  And then I saw a tow truck driving down the street with a car on its bed.  Thank Buddha it wasn't mine, but after I saw another tow truck with an unwilling companion vehicle, I started to haul ass, hoping beyond hope that I wouldn't come across my car being towed away.

I ran to the street I parked, and thank GOD my car was still there.  But there was a cop there.  I never felt so thankful just for getting a ticket.  But I wasn't going to wait around in case a tow truck swooped in; I started my car and got the hell out of there with the quickness!  I'm still fucking paranoid that the city of Minneapolis is going to tow my car.  Went to the library and a new dive bar in the area, and I was still scared shitless I was going to come back to my car just to not see it there.

Well, that didn't happen.  So glad I didn't go exploring on campus.  But there is still the issue of the ticket.  I just went online to see if I still needed to pay something, however there is no record of it -- yet.  Technically, I still did break the law by parking illegally.  But, I thought there would be an amount written on the ticket, and there isn't.  I see the city code I broke, and I see the words "TOW REQUEST," but there is no amount to pay.  Also, I remember when I got my car towed that I had to pay everything -- the tow, the ticket, and fucking lord knows what else the city piled on -- at the impound lot.  If I got my car after my ticket was issued but before the tow truck came, does that mean I get off scot free?  Finally, I also remember my friend, who was watching our alma mater's Game with us in downtown Minneapolis while my car got towed, was able to see that her car was about to get towed and stopped the truck, but not before paying a "drop fee."  If that's all she needed to pay (even though that shit sounds shady), and if I got away before the truck came -- well, I don't need to pay anything, do I?

The ticket on the back says I might need to wait a week before calling.  I presume that if I check online, the amount I would have to pay (if I need to pay it) would be up immediately.  I'll give it a week before checking again, probably through the Internet, although I might call just in case.  Hey, I still have my car, so I will thank my lucky stars for that.  But I sure as shit don't want to pay anything just to get my goddamn teeth cleaned.  If I beat the rap by getting to my car on time ... well, I think I saw the cop look at me while I got to my car, and I know he was thinking something along the lines of, "That lucky motherfucker."  Well, depending on what else I need to pay, I might be a lucky motherfucker, indeed.

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Thursday, April 18:

• We'll need to start on Sunday, April 14, where, citing my urge to merge, went all the way down to ****e's place and fucked her: $120.
• Back to Wednesday the 10th, when I checked out of my hotel.  I can't say enough of how well-run it was.  The people who own and manage it care, and that makes a world of difference these days when it comes to staying at budget hotels.  Such as it is, I leave a tip whenever I check out.  Hopefully it is appreciated: $5.
• On Tuesday the 9th I finally bit the bullet and went to a strip club.  I was leaning against doing so during my vacation in St. Louis because I was pinching pennies, but eventually I wanted one big night out before I had to leave the next day.  Besides, if I am going to be a stripclub monger again, I have to go to stripclubs other than the one I go to on a non-regular basis, right?  So I did.  It was Larry Flynt's Hustler Club, which I had gone to only once before.  Girls were straight bangers, but I got a somewhat desultory one in Chrissy.  Great body, passive personality, got me hard, but at least she didn't totally freak out when I whipped it out.  Obscene cover that the cheap Bud Light for a Tuesday did not make up for.  With tips, the total was: $201.
• I guess I technically went to Argosy Casino Monday the 8th (the night after it took me six hours to drive back to the STL along with all the other eclipse traffic), but I maybe technically poured money into the one slot machine I played on Tuesday the 9th.  Either way, I lost: $12.
• Sunday, April 7: Went to the Cardinals matinee, where they were getting blown out by the Marlins (who finally won their first Game of the season that day) when, in the middle of the Ninth Inning, a big rain squall tore through Busch Stadium and everyone had to scatter as the Game was postponed.  I think an hour later it resumed.  Don't know if I would've gone if I knew beforehand that was going to happen.  Anyway, I tipped a busker with a full-fledged, Neil Peart-like drum kit banging away at a street corner: $1.
• Later that night I went to the Casino Queen, across the Mississippi.  I was hitting all the casinos in St. Louis to update the use of my loyalty cards.  It was just one slot machine for less than a minute, but here, I was given what's called "Free Play" at a slot machine, where the casino just gives me free money to play.  I won $21 on that.  But then I went to the craps table and lost $50.  Adding in a buck in tip to the cashier for converting my chips to cash and, all told, I lost: $30.
• Even later that night I hit a Waffle House.  Had to hit a Waffle House when there's one in the vicinity.  All-Star Special ... chose bacon, my eggs scrambled, and grits, but with a side of hash browns -- scattered, smothered and covered!  With tip: $23.
• Saturday the 6th ... after I touched down, drove east into Illinois to check into my hotel, drove back west into Missouri to eat at Hooters, and got lost trying to find my to Ameristar casino (where, it so happens, I put a $20 bill in a slot machine, won enough money to break even, and split), I went to Hollywood Casino where I also put a $20 bill in a slot machine but won enough money early enough through my $20 that I actually got out of there winning money.  An Infusion of: $4.
• Back to Wednesday, April 3 -- after the Wolves Game, I went to Pizza Luce to stop for two pizzas (instead of one) and my usually Coke can.  With tip: $13.  (This was when I wasn't afraid to spend money.)
• This day, Father paid me back for all the lottery ticket I bought for him.  But because I didn't want to carry all the money he gave me at once, I stashed most of it and only put some of it in my wallet.  This was the last of three times I dipped into that, so technically, it was an Infusion of only: $90.
• The second time was on April Fools' Day, but this time it was an Infusion of: $40.
• And the third first time was back on Monday, March 25.  This was an Infusion of: $90.
• On Thursday the 21st I paid into a lottery work pool: $4.
• I also did Tuesday the 19th, but this time I was paying for both myself and my co-worker, who lent me $4 for the previous pool.  I'm just paying her back: $8.
• That evening I went to get gasoline, and I did that thing where I overestimated how much I needed.  Fortunately it was by exactly 50 cents, so even though I was bummed I had to march back into the gas station a second time grab my change, at least it wasn't, like, 99 cents.  The cost of gas, by the way, was: $18.50.
• Wednesday, March 13 ... we made a lot of lottery pools at work as the jackpots built up.  On this day a co-worker paid me back for lending her money on the previous pool, an Infusion of: $4.
• That previous pool was the day before, Tuesday the 12th, where I paid for both her and myself.  Total: $8.
• Friday, March 8 -- spent cash at McDonald's before heading into work: $6.81.
• On Thursday the 7th I attended the Walker Art Center because it was the last free Thursday night for this particular exhibition about art in Communist Eastern Europe.  It was also the first day of this installation/recreation of a defunct gay bar in San Francisco called The New Eagle Creek Saloon.  Once I got through this fascinating exhibition (I wonder how many of the pieces I saw were able to be exhibited, and if so, how many were able to be shown in Eastern Europe), I went down to this huge art space with this little tiny bar serving up pre-made cocktails manned by four overwhelmed bartenders.  It was a groovy place to be for the last hour of operation that night at the Walker.  Of course the bar/installation had a tip jar, so I had to tip: $1.
• Later that night I was still hungry, so I went to Culver's: $8.96.
• Back to Saturday, March 2, where I went to Wal-Mart to buy food to prepare for the second hotdish I wanted to make for the year.  I bought this pre-packaged meat I needed to heat up and a can of Campbell's cream of chicken soup.  Total: $10.34.
• On my way back from the MNUFC Match, there was a group of Girl Scouts and their parents (or was it just their moms?) selling Girl Scout Cookies.  I don't think I had bought any yet for the season, and I liked their enterprising spirit.  (Plus, they didn't have a tip jar.  Have you noticed that more and more Girl Scout Cookie tables are laying out tip jars??  Is that what they're teaching Girl Scouts to do -- extract more money from people just for giving boxes to customers and looking at their parents whenever a customer asks a question that they should learn to answer?)  One box, which now costs: $6.
• Finally, Friday, March 1: Went to a long-ago usher friend to a Catholic Friday Fish Fry.  Went to one of the most well-regarded ones, at St. Albert the Great.  It was a great time with someone I haven't seen in years!  Pop cans for me and her, a ticket for the dinner and tickets for raffles they were having for prizes throughout the night came out to: $20.

Good through April 18.

I Can Fix It!!! All By Myself!!!

I thought I felt something from the car driving home from work Tuesday afternoon.  But I really felt it driving to work yesterday morning: A rhythmic knocking coming from underneath the car.  I at first rationalized it as a rain thing; it's been raining since Tuesday afternoon, heavy at times.  But as I noticed it more, my mind raced to the worst-case scenario: I have Friday off, but instead of enjoying my free time, I'll have to bring it into the shop to get it fixed.

But then I remembered that I've heard this thumping before.  The tires did get changed about three weeks ago.  Did corrosion from taking out and then putting the wheels back in have anything to do with what I was hearing?  Or, could it be loose lug nuts, like the time after I worked a Wild Game at the X?  So I got to work and searched the Internet, and one of the first things people recommended were to check the lug nuts.  So after I got done with work I checked them, and I'll be damned, three of the four nuts on my driver's-side front tire were loose.  So I got out my lug wrench and tightened up the nuts on all four of my wheels.  Drove home without hearing a sound.

Can't believe the mechanic who swapped out my old tires for new ones three weeks ago didn't do his job, else I would've heard something sooner.  Is it just stupid kids loosening them overnight?  Whatever the case, I'm glad that I was able to fix something big by myself -- and without needing to pay someone!

Getting My Money Back Is Now Going To Be A Problem

I was hoping, probably beyond hope, that it'd be easy for me to get my money back for the ticket to the Frozen Four Final that never arrived.  And yeah, I think it's going to now be a struggle.

Remembering the bullshit I had to deal with in getting money back for the Rolling Stones ticket that never arrived, I have come to learn that if you dispute it with the credit card company, most likely they'll ask you to try and figure it out with the company first.  Turns out that when I went back to the company asking for my money back, they just went and gave me my money back.  But that's not happening here.  First of all, there is no phone number for me to call.  There's a chat feature instead, and I have been going back and forth with this representative (who for all I know is just a fucking AI bot) since I texted "her" at the Frozen Four Semis late Thursday afternoon.  Second, after waiting a while to get an answer about not being able to get that ticket before Saturday's title tilt (prompting me to buy a second one to make sure I can watch it), I finally received one Monday.

At first blush it was a complete capitulation -- an apology followed by an offer to make things right.  But I had to look at the wording to conclude that this company, and this "rep," wasn't conceding much, if anything.  She was going to offer a promo code I could use for anything through their company over the next year.  I was about to say yes.  But then I realized they didn't say anything about the dollar amount of the cost of the ticket that I never got.  Also, that ticket set me back $150.  If this is a one-time code, and assuming the code is for the full amount, I need to find something that will cost me $150 or else I will be forgoing money.  Fuck that!  I will take a credit in the amount of the ticket that never came.  But I'm getting the whole amount back, and I will use it completely for any event, sporting or music or otherwise, until I use it all.  If not, I want my $150 back in a refund.

So I asked this "person" whether this promo would be for the full amount of the ticket that never arrived.  I haven't heard back from "her."  I'm scared as hell that "she" took my question as an acceptance when it's not.  If this goddamn company is going to use these lowball tactics in order to make right what they did wrong, then I have no choice but to get my money back through the credit card company ... and Buddha knows if that will work.  Man, I'm not in a good place right now money-wise.  The last fucking thing I need is to get ripped off and then fucked over for $150.

OK, to follow up, and to be fair, I checked my pay stubs online, and despite my fear after he said he didn't "authorize" my extra hour of work that one workweek, my boss did not take off that hour of overtime, so I got paid for the work I worked, even if he didn't like it.  Honestly, that has dulled my drive to find other work ... for a bit.  I'm still not really happy with my work situation, and my relationship with my boss can still turn south the next time I feel he's nagging me.  Plus, I could use a job that pays more money.  I'm not looking for other jobs with vigor, but I am still looking.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -2).  Honestly, this Week, I can't really figure out the top team for this Week's Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey, because they all sucked.  So, I had to go through process of elimination.  I mean, someone has to top this list every Week.

So the Timberwolves can't be it; they ended their season with a thud and all fans should be shitting their pants as to what happens next.  The Twins are underachieving.  The Loons are becoming who many of us thought they were all along.  The Wild finally got put down like a rabid dog foaming at the mouth.  And I sure as shit couldn't give it to the U. softballers.

Therefore, for no other (nor good) reason, the University of Minnesota baseball team, which lost two-of-three in Michigan over the weekend, are at the head of this sorry-ass list, mostly because they drubbed North Dakota St. at Siebert on Tuesday, 11-3, to finish 2-2 for the Week.  That's absolutely fucking gangbusters for this Week, so congratulations to a team who's 3-6 in the league and 14-16 overall on this great accomplishment!

They are supposed to start a seven-Game homestand with one-offs versus both Dakota St.'s (North tomorrow/Tuesday, South Wednesday), but I doubt that's going to happen because a storm is putting the state underwater.  Then Indiana comes to town for a three-Game set.

#-2: Timberwolves (Last Week: 0).  So the Woofie Dogs went into the final Game of the regular season tied with Denver and The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics.  Depending on results, they could get the top seed in The Western Conference or drop all the way to third.

Guess what fucking happened?  Remember, this is The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  This is not a survey of some state that actually sees success from their sports teams.  While the Bastard Sonics destroyed Dallas in Oklahoma City and Denver went to Memphis and beat The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies easily, the Woofs hosted Phoenix ... and was doubled up, 44-22, after one Quarter.  They lost by 19.  Yes, the Suns had much to play for; they avoided the Play-In with the Win.  But it has always been fucking like this for every goddamn Twin Cities team the past two Decades: When there's an important Game against a very good team, the Minnesota team always fucking pisses down their leg.

Now, to be fair, losing out on the 1- or even 2-Seed isn't the worst thing in the world.  You have to worry about matchups.  In the playoffs, I am worried about a team like, oh, The Bastard Cincinnati Royals/Omaha-Kansas City Kings because they pose issues for the Woofs.  Or, for that matter, Phoenix, who have played very well against them all Year.  So the third-seeded T-Woofs play the 6-seeded ... Phoenix Suns, who just murdered them at Target Center yesterday/Sunday afternoon.

They're gonna get swept.  What a fucking waste of a season.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -3).  And I still have to put the Woofie Dogs on top of most of the teams this screening Week.  That's how shitty this sports town is.  The Twinks went 3-4 for the Week.  They lost two-of-three at home to the Dodgers, then split a four-Game series in Detroit.  They swept a rainout-precipitated Doubleheader Saturday, but I was listening on the radio yesterday/Sunday afternoon in the bottom of the Eighth Inning where they had a 3-0 lead and coughed up four Runs and the Game.  (Luckily I turned away from WCCO after the Tigers tied the tilt.)

These guys winning the A. L. Central was considered a fait accompli.  But even though it's half a month into the regular season, these Twinks are 3 1/2 Games behind supposedly piss-poor and rebuilding Cleveland for the lead (and remember that the Guardians have lost Shane Beiber for the season).  There is something seriously, seriously wrong with this squad right now.

At Baltimore for three, then home to said Tigers beginning Friday.

#-4: United FC (Last Week: -1).  So the men's college hockey national Championship Game was Saturday at 5 p.m., which is a little earlier than I remember that contest normally starting.  That convinced me to delist my ticket to the Loons' Match vs. Houston at Allianz Field.  Although that Match started at 7:30, I figured I could park in the neighborhood at Midway, light rail it to the X, light rail it back and make it in time to catch the Second Half.  And I entered the stadium right at the beginning of Halftime.

And I was greeted to a 1-0 deficit.  Franco Fragapane (who is starting to grow on me as one of those role players who become a sort of folk hero) deposited a Robin Lod centering feed to tie the Game in the 70th Minute.  But Wil Trapp (who, while I hear is a great guy, has made too many damn mistakes as a Defensive Midfielder) made a dumb, dumb defensive miscue, allowing Dynamo Striker Sebastian Kowalczyk to race and hit a banger past Dayne St. Clair for the Game-winning Goal seven Minutes later.

The Loons, who once led The Western Conference, are dropping like a loon shot by a hunter.  They're now currently in seventh place, tied with three other clubs.  Not for nothing: Eric Ramsey won his first Match manning MNUFC, at home versus LAFC, but since has drawn once and lost twice.  Cameron Knowles, who served as a caretaker Manager for United FC while Ramsey was winding down his time with Manchester United, won twice and drew once.  Just sayin'.

At Charlotte Sunday evening.

#-5: Wild (Last Week: -4).  OK, now the Mild are officially eliminated as of the previous screening Week.  This squad's predilection for looking bad against good teams was demonstrated in the extreme this past Week, as they got crushed in Colorado, 5-2 (the defeat that officially eliminated them), and in (Las) Vegas, 7-2.  Strong play from youngsters like Kirill Kaprizov and Matt Boldy and Brock Faber aside, maybe this team ... really sucks?  And will through next season, when they still will be constructing a team with $15 million than everyone else in the NHL?

At Los Angeles tonight/Monday night, then finally end this joke of a Year hosting Seattle Thursday.

#-6: Gopher softball (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  You have to be really shitty this Week to take the bottom spot in this Week's WMNSS.  And despite all the dreary futures for all the pro clubs, I'm throwing the Goofer softballers down here.  Even though they rampaged through their past two series, once they faced a step up in competition, like they did at Indiana over the weekend, they reverted to their mediocre recent history, getting swept by the Hoosiers.  The nadir of the series was the middle one, where they called the Game after five Innings and Indiana up 15-2.

The U., currently 21-18 overall and 7-5 in the B1G, play their annual midweek Doubleheader with Wisconsin; see, the schedule is so constricted and the two schools are so close that the Big Ten believes it's best to squeeze in two Games over one Day for these border rivals.  That DH will be at Cowles and take place ... well, Wednesday, when it's supposed to be raining cats and dogs.  They continue their six-Game homestand over the weekend when they play Rutgers for a trio.

$200 Here, $200 There ...

Finished doing my taxes yesterday, sent them off at the airport post office today.  All told, I owe, both the federal and the state, a total of more than $200.

That's about the same amount of money I spent at the strip club my last day in St. Louis.  It's just under the amount of money I paid for tickets to the two sessions of the Frozen Four -- if you count all three tickets I've "bought," including the one for $150 for which I didn't get.

Man, $200 here, $200 there ... this is like nickel-and-diming, except that it's, you know, $200 at a time.  This continues to be money I cannot spend, dammit.

I Know I'm Right ... Right?

Wow.  It turns out that my first ticket to the Frozen Four Final, the one I obscenely paid too much for, did not come after all.  I had to buy another ticket to go last/Saturday night.  Fortunately I got it at a rock bottom price of $62, about 59% cheaper than what the first ticket went for.  Man, I had no idea that prices for a top-flight, high-profile college championship would fall through the floor like this.  I need to be more savvy next time.

But at least I was able to buy a ticket.  And I have the facts and the paperwork on my side attesting that I didn't get the first, overpriced ticket I bought, which totally gets me off the hook.  I have begun the process of disputing the charge with my credit card, and in the meantime I have told the vendor about what I did.

Hey, the ticket was supposed to be there and, as luck would have it, it wasn't.  I tried as much as possible to retrieve that vastly overpriced ticket.  But I couldn't wait for them to get back to me.  I told them I was going to buy another ticket and then dispute the charge for the first ticket, which I didn't get.  Turns out the customer service rep I was chatting with on Thursday gave me an update on where she was at yesterday/Saturday evening ... right in the middle of the Game.  She said she's "working on it."  Does she not understand that there's nothing to "work on" anymore because the Game's over?

The only thing I'm scared of is that, somehow, the vendor and the credit card company will say I haven't done enough to warrant a refund or credit.  I don't know what else I could do.  I'm pretty sure I followed the instructions to get to a ticket that wasn't there.  What could the vendor or the credit card company blame me for?  I've been by the book when it comes to getting this purchase straightened out.  Could that not be enough?  Hope that's not the case; I saved $90 on this second ticket.

Great Idea, Postal Workers!

Noticed this maybe less than a month ago.  I went to get the mail and I see these words on the inside of our mailbox.  Apparently a mailman (or mail carrier) stuck an adhesive pouch, then slipped in a piece of paper which lists a series of names for which mail to our house have been addressed to.  Our parents had done and do business under their business names, so we should be getting mail that isn't just addressed to our personal names.  Well, apparently to help any other carrier on the route that day, other business entities whose mail belongs to us is listed on this square piece of paper so that he or she can open it up and be sure that if there is a letter with one of those business names, he or she should throw it in our mailbox.

I have never thought, ever, that it was even possible, let alone legal, to stick a cheat sheet in a mailbox to make sure we get our mail.  But hey, if it helps us get our mail and if it helps mail carriers do their jobs, I'm all for it!  This idea is genius!

I Knew I Shouldn't've Looked

When I bought my ticket to the Frozen Four Final, I knew I was risking it.  I had bad memories of the last time the Frozen Four was in St. Paul.  Going off of my previous (and successful) stint in getting tickets to the Semifinals and Final for about $150 total back in 2011, I thought it was going to be a similar go-around in 2018.  It wasn't.  Prices and what happened when are details I have forgotten.  But I looked at the prices going into Thursday's Semis and thought that was a little higher than I anticipated, and the Final even more so.  And yet, in the days leading up to those Games, they didn't go down as sellers realized no one was buying (at least that's what all the tickets on scalper sites indicated to me).  In fact, they spiked upward, so much so that it was too rich for my blood, and I didn't go to either day.

That trauma was on my mind when I finally decided about ten days ago to buy a ticket to the title Game.  People are going to hold onto their tickets for it, and so the price isn't going to come down, so I might as well bite the bullet and buy one.  Hey, if prices go down, I will at least be able to take advantage of one ticket for Saturday's Semis.  I bought one the other day for about $50, which is great.  But I made a point of not looking at prices for the championship Game after I already bought one.  I knew I was going to kill myself if they went down.

But goddammit, I was curious.  I looked on SeatGeek and saw that prices have gone through the floor.  They are going for half what I bought.  And fucking Christ, I want to bang my head against the wall for all the money I have wasted for getting too chickenshit scared and buying too soon.  But how could I tell?  Last time I waited too long and prices shot up.  And what exactly happened to the market for this championship, anyway?  Back in '18 Minnesota-Duluth was in the Frozen Four.  I didn't think there were enough Bulldogs, both living in the Twin Cities and coming down from Duluth, to explain both the high and the increasing prices.  And I still don't: The other three finalists were Notre Dame, Ohio St., and Michigan.  I swear that those three schools are big enough that they theoretically would sell out the Xcel Energy Center.  But Michigan and Notre Dame were at the X in 2011 and I got a ticket just fine.  Why couldn't I get one at a decent price seven years later?  Was it just UMD?  And what about now, when Michigan did make it but Minnesota-Duluth didn't?  Is the reason for the diving prices the other three teams -- Boston College, Boston University and Denver?  I figure that it's the championship in top-flight men's college hockey.  From what I saw back in 2018, that was always going to be an expensive draw.

See, all these what-ifs and my desire to find out what the fuck happened and why is killing me right now, absolutely torturing me.  I am racked with guilt over all the money I have pissed away.  I could justify it by saying that I have a full-time job now, so I could deal with any money I do spend more than I should have.  But I hate my job right now, I am forbidden to get overtime and that fucking sucks, I just got home from a trip to St. Louis, and I have some big credit card bills I need to pay.  I can't afford to just spend money right now.  So I am trying to trim financial fat.  And the exorbitant price I have paid for Saturday's championship Game is a goddamn fat sow of an expense.

There might be one saving grace to all this: I haven't received the ticket yet.  I tried to download the one I bought at an exorbitant price to my cellphone, but for some reason I don't see it.  During the first Semifinal Game last/Thursday night (Denver beat BU in OT, 2-1) I actually was chatting with SeatGeek about this missing ticket.  The representative said she would ask the seller to re-transfer it to me.  As of press time, I still haven't seen it.  There might be something hinky going on, so I am going to see if this is enough of an obstacle to cancel the order and either give me a refund or a credit.  That way I can buy a ticket at a non-insane price ... and be able to look myself in the mirror and not fucking hate myself.

Unforgivable Wetness Needs His Rest

Didn't happen on my vacation until yesterday/Wednesday morning, and I didn't think it would happen.  But on my last day at my hotel and in St. Louis, I was woken up by the alarm on my phone, which I set for 10 a.m., an hour before I had to check out.

Yes, in one sense I'm glad I had set it.  But the previous three days I woke up around mid-morning and, even though I was tired, I wasn't tired tired, you know what I mean?  I was able to wake up Sunday when I had to because the Cardinals were having a matinee.  I did the same on Monday because of the eclipse.  And upon further reflection maybe it wasn't a great time to schedule so, but on Tuesday I had to wake up and was able to wake up because I had arranged a phone-in session with my shrink, followed up with a job interview on Microsoft Teams.

In all three previous instances I didn't get a full night's sleep, but I was nonetheless able to get up in the morning and function.  I think that took a toll on my body, because I think I would have been able to sleep till, like, 1 in the afternoon if I had my way.  Unfortunately, I had to check out, and moreover, there were some things I needed to check out online before I left my room and the wi-fi that came with it.  An hour, then, wasn't enough; I was frantically trying to shower, pack up my things, check that I didn't forget anything, and still go online to map out my drive to get back to the airport and to arrange a massage in the afternoon.  And I did all that while my body was craving for more than the six hours of sleep it got today.  And so, I am not in a great mood.  That's not good when going back to a job that I hate ... and I'm going to do that on about 4 1/2 hours of sleep.

I Love This Hotel. Five Stars!!!!!

My fears that I reserved a shitty hotel have been completely unfounded.  Well, OK, there is kind of a smell here I can't quite pinpoint.  It's kind of remote, too; I have to drive half an hour whenever I go into St. Louis.  But that latter point is a small price to pay for a safe and quiet area and a clean room.

First off, the area.  This is a hotel that houses travelling contractors.  I see a bunch of supply pick-ups in the parking lot.  (See some cars filled with items in the backseat, too, which means a couple of these people are unhoused.  But that's another blog post.)  But, besides from tonight, where the lot is oddly empty for a weeknight, it has been jampacked.  And yet, there have been no problems -- no weird people asking me for money, no loud noises at night.  This is part of a footprint that includes a Taco Bell, a Cracker Barrel (went there for lunch last/Tuesday night for the first time ever -- yummy!), a BBQ joint and maybe a cantina.  (The footprint is small enough that these establishments share the parking lot space.)  But once the sun goes down, barely a peep.

Second off, the room.  I have this thing where I take pictures of my hotel room from every angle.  It's been a while since I've been in one.  But I miss these types of hotel rooms where there is a huge king-sized bed and I have ample room for anything.  This place has a desk, a table, a couch (with Murphy bed), ample floor space, and even an ironing board.  The sink is not in the bathroom; it is right next to the front door, to the left when you come in.  You know, that's where I would want my sink to be -- out of the bathroom, available to me as soon as I enter my space.  In fact, if I ever get into a situation where I have to live out my life in a hotel room, this would be the perfect floor plan -- huge bed, places to work, floor space to put all my crap, and a shower/bathtub and toilet that works.  I feel safe and happy here.

Finally, the customer service.  I love the fact that the front desk is staffed 24/7.  Moreover, I think they actually care about doing their job.  I believe that they are proactive in making sure everything in the hotel is in working order and that the outside is safe for their guests.  I want to say that most of the workers appear to be from the same family.  If so, that is ample reason why this hotel is so well run: This is their main source of income, maybe even their version of the American Dream, and they want to do well with it.

I am so impressed that, if I am vacationing back here again, I may very well make it a point to stay here.  Hopefully nothing will change when it comes to the area or the hotel room or the ownership.  But I think I truly found the last best cheap motel -- in the STL, if not the world.

Tips For The Next Eclipse (Part I)

1. If there is a place you want to go for the eclipse, get there early.  And when you think it's a good time to go, plan to go an hour before that.
2. With that being said, if you've never been to the place you're going, all bets are off.  I had my heart set on a specific piece of what I think is farmland.  I didn't get to there in time for the eclipse, but I went down there anyway, just to prove to myself I can do what I set out to do (even if I didn't do it in time).  I went to a rural two-lane backway with fences all around.  I wouldn't have been able to even park, so even if I did get to there in time, I would have needed to find another place, and at that point I very well could have missed the eclipse.

You know, I think I have more tips, but I'm tired and I want to start on my Vacation Day Of Self-Care.  If there are other rules I can think up, I'll blog post them when I get to my day hunting the eclipse.  But this is all for now.

Oh, look at me.  I'm taking time off to blog post because I still don't quite know where the hell I should go for the eclipse.  I hate my job, I can't stand my boss right now, and I feel like I can't breathe when I go to work.  At the same time, I've sent my resume to a couple places and I called a couple people asking for jobs, but no one has called me back yet.  (By the way, I deleted my last blog post where I was complaining about my current job in case I don't have another job to go to.)  Meanwhile I begged off Thursday afternoon because I think I am going to the Frozen Four that afternoon, but I think I'll visit my friend for some fun first.  And now I'm scared as hell I will go to the wrong place and miss the eclipse because of clouds.  The only reason I'm taking this vacation is the eclipse.  Then again, I could also be at the job I hate right now.

I have no good choices.  Fuck my life.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher softball (Last Week: 0).  I don't know if the past two series are a sign this program is locking it in or if it's just an aberration.  But after curb-stomping Illinois last weekend, this team won every which way vs. Ohio St. at Cowles Stadium this weekend.  They mercy-ruled the Buckeyes Friday, 9-1 in five Innings.  They did it again for the first Game of Saturday's Doubleheader (yesterday's/Sunday's contest was moved up to become a Saturday DH because rain was in the forecast yesterday/Sunday), 14-6 in six.  The Buckeyes bowed up in the final Game of the series, winning 11-3 heading into the bottom of the Sixth Inning.  But the Gophers scored five times in the Sixth, and then four more in the Seventh, walking it off on a Bases Loaded-Single by Addison Leschber to sweep Ohio St., 12-11.

Great as that is, they're 21-15 overall (albeit 7-2 in the B1G).  Guess here is that the schedule will get tougher.  Will is start this weekend, when the go to Indiana for a three-Game series?

#0: Timberwolves (Last Week: -2).  I am torn as to not giving the top spot to the Wolves.  After all, in a vicious and nail-biting race down to the wire for the Western Conference 1-Seed, it is Minnesota who again is on top (albeit via tiebreaker; they have the same record as Denver).  They beat Houston and Toronto at home on back-to-back nights and crushed The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.1.0.  Also, the Gopher softball team hasn't had an overall spectacular season, and they're nowhere near first place in the Big Ten.  However, as understandable as it is, the Wolves did lose at Phoenix on Friday.  Combine that with the way the Gopher softball club won, I had to place the Timberwolves second.  But at least they're above negative numbers!

Over the past Week they have clinched, first, home-court advantage for the First Round of the NBA Playoffs (even though that was pretty much assured), then a top-3 Seed (assured, but not quite).  The fight for home-court throughout the West ends this screening Week: Home to Washington, at Denver, then finally hosting Atlanta and said Suns.

#-1: United FC (Last Week: -3).  Draws are getting old, but at least their forging ties after allowing a Goal.  Saturday night, Cristian Arango scored for Real Salt Lake in the 24th Minute.  But in pattern I'm beginning to dig, the Loons once again scored while the sands in the hourglass were getting small enough to be countable.  And once again, Tani Oluwaseyi (from a cheeky run and pass from Robin Lod) scored the late tally, sending the Allianz Field crowd into a frenzy.  His clutch heroics have been something.  But I remember something I read from the late, great Grant Wahl: If a substitute is playing better than the person he or she is replacing, that person should be starting, not substituting.  I don't know who Oluwaseyi would switch with, but switching may be an option for this squad moving forward.

Host Houston Saturday.

#-2: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -4).  Lost two-of-three at home to Illinois, and their Tuesday date with South Dakota St. was postponed due to inclement weather.  After a promising start, the team's now 12-14 overall and 2-4 in league play.  Play North Dakota St. at Siebert Tuesday, then play three at Michigan over the weekend.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -1).  Split their two-fer at Milwaukee, but dropped their first two Games of a planned three-Game series vs. Cleveland that opened up Target Field (the last tilt, scheduled for yesterday/Sunday, was rained out and will be made up in August).  For all the ballyhooed talk that the Twinks were gonna walk to the AL Central title, they are, as of press time, three Games behind the Guardians in fourth place.  Oy.  Hosting the Dodgers for a trio, then visiting Detroit for four.

#-4: Wild (Last Week: -5).  Beat Ottawa, lost to The Bastard Quebec Nordiques.  Lost to The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers (those last three contests were at home), beat Chicago on the road.  More than one person has pointed this out: The Mild beat the bad teams but lost to the good teams this past screening Week, and that's been indicative of how this season has played out.  And that is why their season will end without going to the playoffs.

They have a four-Game pseudo-West Coast swing.  This Week it incorporates Colorado, Las Vegas and San Jose.  They could -- should -- be eliminated this time next Week.

Maybe The Last Best Cheap Motel In The World

I may have blog posted about this before, but I have now become deathly afraid of renting a hotel because when I research specific ones on Yelp, I only see horrible reviews about how the person found, like, bedbugs in his or her room.  I now am deathly afraid that every single hotel room in the world has bedbugs.

So, when I got into mine last/Saturday night, I did what I could to check for bedbugs.  I don't know every single thing you could do, but I remembered to pull up the bedsheets at the corners to see blood marks or, egad, bugs themselves.  I did not.  Therefore, I feel comfortable (enough) to say that there are no bedbugs in this room I'm in for the new several days.  Phew.

Combine that with the fact that apparently there is a person at the front desk 24/7, and the person who checked me at the front desk last/Saturday night is the same person who I talked to while I was at MSP to make sure someone would be at the front desk when I get there late, and I am, so far, very impressed with this hotel ... and glad that I chose this one, as remote from STL as it is.  There are three more days for things and people to disappoint me, but so far, very, very good.  Glad I used all my credit card points for this hotel.

I'm Not Looking Forward To This Vacation??

Alright ... so I leave on vacation this afternoon, and yet I haven't really packed.  I mean, I have, but I don't have a clear idea of what I need to bring.  Well, I kind of do -- clothes, toiletries, score cards for Cardinals Games -- but before, I would actually write down a list of all things I was bringing, even the obvious items.  I'm not doing that for this.  It might be because I think I have what I want to bring in my head.  But honestly, I think some of it is laziness, and some of it I attribute to ... well, not looking forward to this vacation.

How can't I?  My main motivation is to chase the eclipse.  I'll expound on it later, but it's an awesome sight, and since it won't be coming around for another 20 years in the continental U.S., I should be anticipating it with eagerness.  But, I'm not.  I don't know, maybe it's the situation with the job, but I'm just so ... blah with everything.

Well, too late to back out now.  Besides, I know I will regret not doing this if I do the rash and stupid thing and cancel my vacation.  I just hope that when I leave for the airport, I don't forget anything I need.

(Guiltily) Striving For Something Other, Something Better

So I just started applying to two jobs just now.  I feel kind of guilty looking for other jobs while I have one.  It feels like I'm sneaking around, like I'm cheating on my current job.  But I have to keep remembering the times I now feel bad at work, and it's for those instances where I summoned up the courage to look for something other, something better.

Also, you know another sign you hate work (this may be a no-brainer to others, but this is a revelation to me)?  I dread going into work.  You know, as much as I initially hated The Fourth Department, I had grown to like and even love going there.  I have my own little space, I didn't have anybody I really needed to answer to, I didn't even really have a co-worker I had to chit-chat with.  I was my own fiefdom, and once I learned how to do most of the work, I felt like I ruled back there.  But then my boss started to really micro-manage me, and a place I once loved has changed, and I think irrevocably.  So I think it's time to move on.

A part of me is just fantasizing, like this is a platonic affair where I do nothing too serious but I wind up going back to my job.  And yet at the same time I would feel absolutely dejected that I might continue to get stuck in a place that, more and more often, I don't want to be in.  And so I apply for jobs, and I think I will continue to apply for jobs, till I find something other, something better.

#1! Trusted News!

Those stupid billboards for The Epoch Times suddenly arose about a couple months ago (maybe?) and they're still around.  Wonder how many Minnesotans know that this is a Chinese-originated newspaper built by Falun Gong, that weirdo pro-tai chi Chinese cult that wants to overthrow the Chinese government?  I wouldn't mind a coup to take those Communists out as well, but I sure as shit won't vote to put the fucking Falun Gong in there.  Those people are fucking nuts!!!

And yet it's nutso groups like these that seem to have all the money these days.  Hence, the billboards.  But there are so many crude, if not primitive, elements to these billboards (which are basically all the same) that I have to point them out.  For one thing, their slogan, "#1 Trusted News," sounds like broken English ... as if a Chinese person was trying to speak English without understanding the language's syntax.  That bothers me to no end.  And second, there is a headshot of some White guy right next to "#1 Trusted News."  Doesn't seem like anyone famous, but this guy's fucking head is in every billboard I have seen in the Twin Cities.  Who the fuck is that guy?  Was he created from AI?

Can't wait to see this cult's advertising end.

She Finally Got The Hint

So there is a stripper whom I have blog posted about before here on WAF.  I met her once before when she was doing dances at **y's place.  She's quite old and her skin is stretched out and shit.  I got dances from her once where she jacked me over my pants.  That was enough for me to believe she was down to fuck, so when she started inviting me to other parties she was working, she would text me.  But somehow, I would get there and she would never be there.  Instead, the only girls working there were, well, ugly and fat and kind of scary.  This missing her when I got to the parties she was working (and, I think, hosting) that I once texted her in frustration that I thought she was going to be there and why was she not.  She said her kid got hurt and so she needed to run home.  I don't believe that, nor do I believe her when she subsequently said she drove back to the party.

That was at least two years ago.  That may even have been before the pandemic.  Regardless, that was the last straw for me.  Not getting touched by her in years, plus her series of excuses of not being at a party she invited me to, plus getting only fugly women to work these parties, and plus accusations of ripping off other girls who worked house parties she hosted (including **y), and I gave up ever seeing her.  And as time went on, I stopped caring that I would see her.

With that being said, she still had my number, and she continued to text me whenever she either was doing parties or working at a strip club in the region.  I told her that I was busy or I had no money, but to be honest, I had no interest in seeing her.  Also, some of the parties, and the strip clubs she now works at, are way too far for me to drive to, even if I did have money and was horny.  But she always accepted my excuses and was very cordial to me, saying, "OK."

Till yesterday/Tuesday afternoon.  She texted me that she was working at some club 90 minutes from here tonight/Wednesday night.  I told her that "job issues" came up.  That excuse is vague, and even if me thinking about changing jobs is real, it should have no bearing on whether or not I have the ability to see her.  But that's the reason I told her I wasn't able to see her at the club tonight/Wednesday night.  And she said, basically, "OK, it's been two years of you telling me you can't make it.  You're off the list."  And my first thought was, "Wow, she finally put two and two together."  But then I texted her, "Sorry," and she said, "That's OK," and I suddenly felt all guilty.  Does she think I was stringing her along?  Because, well, I was.

But, will I try to see her again?  No.  I probably won't.  Eh, whatever -- she still has my number.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

I'd give a more detailed WMNSS, but I just tried updating my iPhone even though it was already up-to-date (I don't want to get into it), and the goddamn thing is now at the restore screen -- you know, the one where it has the image of a plug telling you to plug it in, and there's the restore URL on top.  I went through this in October but I got myself out of that jam somehow.  But I didn't get out of this one, goddammit.  So I need to take my fucking phone to the Genius Bar tomorrow when I really can't afford to.  I hate technology.

So if you don't mind, I'll be a bit terse with the survey.

#0: Gopher softball (Last Week: -2).  Wow -- there might be something wrong with the Illinois softball program.  It seems apparent the Gophers aren't all that good, but they swept the Illini in Champaign over the weekend (the Sunday Game was moved up to make a Saturday Doubleheader), and the first two tilts were called after five Innings where the U. were up 16-1 on Friday and 13-0 in the first contest Saturday (they scraped by in the third Game, 6-4, and that's after Illinois put up three Runs in the bottom of the Seventh Inning).  That's great.  Unfortunately, I don't think they'll win by those winning margins the rest of the Year.

They finally open up Cowles Stadium for the season with a series vs. Ohio St.

#-1: Twins (NEW SEASON!).  Begin the season winning two-of-three in Kansas City.  The consensus is that they have enough of a roster to walk to the Central Division crown, but they didn't add enough arms to do anything once they make the postseason.  Which appears to be the Pohlads' modus operandi in running the franchise.

They get the annual mid-week two-fer against The Bastard Seattle Pilots out of the way tomorrowTuesday and Wednesday in Milwaukee.  They then finally open up Target Field with a three-Game series against The Cleveland Guardians Thursday, Saturday and Sunday.

#-2: Timberwolves (Last Week: 0).  The West is tight!  Every Game matters.  So, even though they started off the Week finally getting free of Detroit at Target Center and then making a statement in going to Denver and beating the Nuggets by 13, they came home and laid an egg last/Sunday night versus the lowly Chicago Bulls.  Even with those two good Wins, that damaging Loss now puts Minnesota back into third place in the Western Conference, even if they're only a Game behind the first place Bastard Seattle SuperSonics.  This isn't January; this is where the Games really start to matter and you can't half-ass shit.

On the bright side, I think people have deduced that one more Win means the worst the Wolves can finish is sixth, which means that even if they lose out, they'll avoid the Play-In Tournament.  Yippee!!!  They could do it in back-to-back home Games against Houston or Toronto (the latter of which I'm planning on going to), or they could do it at Phoenix or The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.1.0.

#-3: United FC (Re-Entry!).  Suffered their first defeat of the season Saturday, 2-0 at Philadelphia.  Not a big deal; no one's going undefeated in Major League Soccer.  One potential weak spot: Some observers thought that Victor Eriksson lacked fitness.  His bad header led to the dagger Goal.  Watch this space.  Hosting Real Salt Lake Saturday.

#-4: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -1).  Dropped two-of-three at Iowa.  Now, I know this isn't bad as the 2021 or 2022 seasons, but John Anderson's last season as Manager isn't going anywhere.  The begin a five-Game homestand with a one-off vs. South Dakota St. Tuesday and a trio against Illinois.

#-5: Wild (Last Week: -3).  I keep saying this, but any chance for the Mild to reach the playoffs are gone this screening Week.  They beat San Jose, but everyone does.  It was more important to beat (Las) Vegas, and more importantly, getting two Points while holding the Golden Knights to zero.  Well, that didn't happen because the Mild blew yet another Third Period lead.  In Overtime, Head Coach John Hynes did the same thing he did a few Weeks ago: Pulled the Goalie in order to get an extra attacker to win the Game.  This time, though, VGK was able to pot an Empty Net Goal -- and thus, by rule, lose the Loser Point they gained by getting the tilt to OT.

They finish a six-Game homestand playing Ottawa, The Bastard Quebec Nordiques and The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers before playingin Chicago.

#-Infinity: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!).  In the NCAA Tournament, they came from behind to defeat Nebraska-Omaha, 3-2, but then got pummeled by Boston University, 6-3, to see their season end in the Quarterfinals.  Of course.

They blew a 2-0 First Period lead to the Terriers Saturday.  You know, they blew a 2-0 lead and then lost to Quinnipiac 15 Seconds into Overtime of the title Game last Year, they sent out a tweet I think the next Day vowing they'll be back.  I replied to them that they have no goddamn clue if they're ever going to be bac, because they might never have as good of a chance of winning a championship for the state of Minnesota than the one they just choked on.  I wanted -- want -- to be wrong.  But goddammit, I was proven right.

I'd bloviate more on this, but my anxiety is at a 10 now that my phone has frozen on me.