"TPM Device Not Detected" -- Oh, Fuck Off

My laptop was displaying a "TPM device not detected" message upon booting up today.  Freaked me the fuck out, of course.  I tried restarting it, shutting it down and turning it on again, but I still had that message.  Finally, I looked online for answers and, not understanding the fuck they were saying, I took the only advice I could decipher: Shut 'er down, then hold down the power button for 60 seconds to cycle down the computer.  I should've taken out the battery before I did it, but I have no fucking idea how to do that, so I didn't do that part.

I cannot believe that worked because the lap turned on even as I was holding down the power button.  But it booted up just fine without that damn "TPM device not detected" message.  And when I did some thing to confirm that this, uh, device was in fact detected, it was confirmed.  I don't know for sure how it wasn't detected at first and then it was.  But I am thinking that this TPM device is literally not plugged in where and how it's supposed to be.  That's because I don't use my laptop as a laptop.  I usually am lying in bed, and I am looking up as I use it.  I think I have literally shaken the computer to the point where this device got slightly jostled out of position, and I somehow got it back into position just by sitting it down on my bed.

Good fucking God, for a while there I thought I needed to buy a new computer.  Still might have to.