Positive Numbers: Timberwolves (Last Week: -2). Well, shut my fucking mouth, why don't ya? Really, all I'm doing when I'm hating on local teams and predicting they'll not just get swept but humiliated is motivating them to do prove me wrong. That way, they win, the state wins, and I win! OK, that's a lie.
Yeah, I was totally convinced that Phoenix would sweep the Wolves and end their breakthrough season in embarrassing fashion. I have ample evidence: The Suns swept the season series, and they won all the Games by double digits. Why would I not think that pattern wouldn't continue? Well, this team, this franchise got serious about flipping the script, and on Saturday afternoon they fucking flipped the goddamn table, destroying Phoenix, 120-95. Their Defense finally slowed down Phoenix's pick-and-pop, mid-range game; Kevin Durant went off for 31, but Devin Booker and Bradley Beal were tamed to, respectively, 18 and 15 Points, and moreover, Grayson Allen was held to only four.
Invigorating hell of a start, no doubt. Now, can they win Game 2 and hold court? Or could we be facing oblivion this time next Week?
#0: United FC (Last Week: -4). What is a new Manager supposed to do? Shake things up. They were hired to, at the very least, do something different from the person he or she is replacing.
It was getting dicey there (IMHO) for Eric Ramsey, who won his first Match at the helm for the Loons but hadn't won since. Finally, after getting the lay of the land and understanding how and why these had been done under the regime of Adrian Heath, he made some drastic changes for last/Sunday night's showdown at Charlotte. Teemu Pukki, Bongokuhle Hlongwane, and Sang-bin Jeong were benched (and Jeong didn't even see the field); Tani Oluwaseyi, Franco Fragapane, and Kervin Arriaga started instead. And Ramsey shifted the formation to an overloaded 3-4-3; Arriaga, Michael Boxall and Devin Padelford became Center Backs as Joseph Rosales, who kinda-sorts started off as a Left Back, turned into an extreme Left Midfielder. The idea was to overload that left side and strike down the middle when possible.
The result? A 3-0 ass-kicking of The Crown, giving Charlotte FC their first home defeat in 11 Months. I caught the first Goal by Oluwaseyi on the radio (even though I really needed to see the Goal on Twitter/X to really appreciate the talent and virtuosity behind both the pass and the kick), but damn, I wish I sat down and saw it somewhere instead of exercising. By the way, Robin Lod assisted on that Oluwaseyi Goal, then scored as he cleaned up an attack, then put a vicious swerve on a Corner Kick that Hassani Dotson headed into the net. If Emanuel Reynoso, who is still in Argentina for some dumb damn reason, doesn't return to the team, I say Robin Lod becomes The Best Player In MNUFC History.
Saturday they host Sporting Kansas City in the resumption of The Nice Rivalry In MLS. This may -- may -- be the start of very much needed, and very welcome, revamp of how this squad operates under a young, bright mind who may -- may -- be on to something.
Finish up what now is a six-Game homestand with a mid-week two-fer with St. Thomas. They then play three at Penn St.
#-2: Gopher softball (Last Week: -6). Split the annual mid-week Doubleheader with Wisconsin (at Cowles this Year) on Wednesday, then dropped two-of-three at Rutgers. Yeah, this club, and program, ain't goin' nowhere this Season, either. Hosting South Dakota St. Wednesday before playing three at Iowa.
#-3: Twins (Last Week: -3). OK, it is about time that have a full-blown fucking panic attack over the Twinks. The top three Starting Pitchers seem to be fine. Everything else is in the shitter. The Bullpen continues to get shelled; Griffin Jax gave up the Game-ending Home Run on Wednesday that completed The Bastard St. Louis Browns' sweep of the Twinks earlier in the screening Week. The Lineup continues to not produce; their Batting Average is the second-lowest through this many Games of the season in the past half-century. And the fourth and fifth starters damn well better be an open competition since Louis Varland allowed four Walks and gave up four Earned Runs in only 2 2/3 Innings in yesterday/Sunday afternoon's 6-1 Loss at home to Detroit, giving the Tigers the series Win over the weekend. The Twinks are now eight Games behind first-place Cleveland (whom everyone is worried will move because of the market and the payroll, but they always seem to overperform, at least relative to their current situation). If not for the shitty White Sox, the Twinks, almost pre-ordained to win the A. L. Central, would instead be last.
Said ChiSox come to Target Field for a four-Game set. They then travel to Anaheim for a weekend trio vs. The Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of. ...
#-Infinity: Wild (Last Week: -5). Seemed fitting that that this season ended with a come-from-ahead Loss Thursday at home versus Seattle. It's been a series of mediocrities played out in a pattern all year: A propensity to choke on leads, shaky depth behind the front lines, and an almost exacting inability to beat the playoff-bound teams (at Los Angeles in the penultimate Game of the Year notwithstanding). Yeah, there is a lot of young talent: Kirill Kaprizov, Brock Faber, Matt Boldy, even Marco Rossi. And maybe Jared Spurgeon will get this squad's Defense sturdy and impassable again. But the second year of the salary cap bite because of the Zach Parise and Ryan Suter contracts gets to take another $15 million out of their pockets compared to other clubs in the NHL again next year. They're clear after that, but it's going to be another season of shrugging meandering. Hope none of the young guns get happy feet and demand trades.
Hey, in the meantime, can you change your name back to The Minnesota North Stars and grab the logo, the colors, the history, the statistics and the retired numbers? You're not doing anything worthwhile for another 12 months. Hop to it, Mild!
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