The Girls I've Lost This Year

May I make a confession?

One of my favorite hobbies is to get the October issue of Playboy, the one that has "The Girls Of [Some Conference." I then write down the names of all the girls in that spread, look up their e-mail addresses online at their respective school websites. Finally, I get up the courage to e-mail them, saying that they're so hot, telling them they took my breath away, and wishing them good luck in school. I tell them it's OK if they don't write back when of course I want them to.

Does it work? Well, it's not as if I was getting dozens of addresses when I first started with "The Girls Of The SEC" back in '98, but I think I got, like, a half dozen addresses. Out of those messages, I think I started out with getting, like, two or three of those chicks to write back. (For one girl I didn't get an e-mail but a phone number, and I had the courage to call her; unfortunately I got the wrong girl with the same name.) We'd trade a couple or a few messages back and forth, but it petered out usually by winter break.

It went that way for the next several years. My most successful campaign was when "The Girls Of The Big 12," where I had a yearlong correspondence with two chicks, Hilary Schatz of Texas A&M and Brenda Gerhardt of Colorado. Not only were they both hot, but they very sweet, very smart and very nice. One of my hugest regrets was switching the location of my phone in my dorm. I gave Hilary my old number in a letter I mailed her, then used my new number the following year. A letter she sent said she tried calling me at my old number. That letter is the last thing I ever received from her.

I decided to blog about this because I've been losing more girls in my life in the past year than at any time before. It's not just college girls who've gotten naked in Playboy. That well has been running dry for many years now. Stupid schools have gotten more tech-savvy and more concerned over these girls' privacy. Many of them don't use their school-bequeathed addies; some go so far as to not use their real names when posing. Psssh. I've been lucky to get one e-mail address during my searches.

But a couple years ago, way too late, I realized something: These are college students, so where do they go nowadays? Online social networking sites! I started with a special spring edition of Playboy's college babes, "The Girls Of Conference USA." I don't know why -- I guess I just Googled -- but the first chick I saw had a MySpace page. I wasn't on any of these sites, but I knew that if I wanted to be a part of a hot girl's life, I had to sign in, so I signed into MySpace and immediately friended these girls who posed. And just for good measure I signed onto facebook, even though I think it's less for people who are into porn. Let me be clear: I'm onto both sites to friend babes I see in Playboy; all the other real friends I have is only for keeping up appearances. Anyway, I got four of them from that pictorial to be MySpace friends.

The one I had the longest conversation with was Tracy "Alexander" from Southern Miss. Saw her pictures -- fucking hot. She was even hotter than her sole pic in the spread, where her torso is in bodypaint but she was completely naked and was showing off her beautiful pussy. You could not tell that she was a MILF. But she was cool and totally candid about her life.

Until one day, several months ago, I didn't see her MySpace page anymore. I knew she was getting serious with somebody and moving to a new house, but she didn't send any warning about deleting her MySpace. I checked facebook too, and for a while I saw her picture with her profile, but that too is gone. And I thought we had something special going on.

That's not all:

• A girl that appeared as one of "The Girls Of The Big Ten" several years ago I found on facebook -- McKenzie Closen of Illinois. Thought she was cool, till I commented on something she was showing off on her body and I didn't identify it as the piercing it really was; a couple months later she deleted her account.
• And Sandra Hubby, Miss March 2004, had a MySpace and then mysteriously was gone. I wish I knew the exact moment she deleted her account.
• Do you remember a girl named Carlie Christine Beck, a cheerleading coach at a Sacramento high school who was fired after a disgruntled student told them about her Playboy career? I signed onto her MySpace after her shitcanning. We never "talked," but when she did warn everybody that she was about to leave MySpace, then actually followed through on her warning, I was devastated. And I still am.

And there's even more. I have found a couple girls College Girls I had some lengthy e-mails with in the past on the sites. I thought there was a chance that Carey Oroke of Kansas and Lace Rose Allenius of Florida St. would remember and/or accept my friend request, but alas, they rejected me. Hell, I friended Carey three times on her MySpace and facebook, but she rejected me every single time. Don't know why they did that. Are they trying to distance themselves from their nudie past? They shouldn't; they still look as fuckin' hot as ever. Did they not remember me? That makes me sad.

So I have lost, and have been unable to retrieve, many of the hot women I want in my life. That makes me more thankful for all the hot chicks who have accepted my requests. Specifically, I want to point out all of the girls who have personally replied to me on my two pages -- babes like Mandy Calloway at Houston, Tee Lynn of LSU, Adrianne Day of Southern Miss, Nikki Christine at Purdue, Monique Omura of Florida, and Alexandra Ford of Miami.

Wow ... listing all these girls doesn't make me feel sad about all the ones I've lost over the years. Shoot, this was supposed to be a pity party, but now I don't feel so bad.