#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -2). Well, my worst fears didn't materialize. In fact, they overcome the stumble of the loss of a set in their first-round match against Louisville to dominate host Tennessee to make it to the Sweet 16, a regional of which will be held in Minneapolis. I was fully prepared to see the Gophers lose in either round. Now, I feel a bit more comfortable dreaming that they could actually make it to the Final Four. Not only are they playing in front of their home crowd, but they first face Colorado St., which upset the sixth-seed (and my pick to make it to the Final Four), Washington, but they could also potentially face Florida St. in the Elite Eight. While the Seminoles are formidable, they don't have the pedigree nor the big-game experience either on the squad or in the coaching team to ensure they'll live up to their seed. Then again, they could be blitzed by the Rams in three. Whatever the case, I'll be there!
#-2: Wild (Last Week: -1). This team actually go 3-1? Only a road blemish against the Bastard Winnipeg Jets prevented this team from a spotless week. Nevertheless, they won two of three on the road and now for sure have turned the corner on the awful start to their season. Guess this Guilluame Latendresse is doing wonders. Two more on the road against division-mates Calgary and Vancouver, then finally home (after five games and 10 days) for a game against the suddenly-powerful Columbus Blue Jackets.
#-3: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -7). Yes, they won both their games this week. But Brown and Morgan St.? They get very qualified credit for those wins. Guess you need to walk before you can run, but for a Tubby Smith-led team, this should be beneath them. They should face stiffer competition with home games against St. Joseph's Saturday afternoon and Northern Illinois Tuesday night.
#-4: Lynx (Re-Entry!). Hey, did you know that the team just hired a new coach, their third in just over a year? I thought Jen Gillom was excited to lead the team! Turns out she was a liar! Meet Cheryl Reeve, a longtime assistant for Bill Laimbeer when they coached the Detroit Shock just before they were stolen away to Tulsa. There are two reasons they're ranked so high this week: 1) Very mediocre competition, and 2) the Lynx still exist as a franchise!
#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -4). Destroying Idaho St. doesn't prove anything except that you did what you were supposed to do. Defeating Penn St. is nice, but it's not like this is a Rene Portland-led team; now, that group of (heterosexual) players could ball. No, what I look to as most indicative of the strength of this team is the 21-point loss at Maryland (and to the coach which helped rise this program from the dead, Brenda [Oldfield] Frese) last Thursday. This team is skating by its Final Four appearance for way too long. Two final games this week before they head off for winter break: hosting Iowa St. Sunday afternoon and hosting Santa Clara Wednesday night. Hope they get to "study" somewhere inbetween those games for their finals.
#-6: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6). The Star Tribune commented that this squad doesn't lose big early anymore; they now lose close late. That's progress? Their three losses this week have been by, respectively, 9, 6, and 1, the latter being a heartbreaker on a give-and-go to Chris Paul of the Bastard Charlotte Hornets. However, they did beat Utah Saturday night! This must mean that the middle part of the regular season, where the internal doldrums begin and players start to space out, has begun; if the Bastard New Orleans Jazz were focused, they would've won by 15. This week: three on the road (Lakers, Sacramento, and the Jazz), then hosting the Bastard Buffalo Braves Wednesday.
#-7: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -5). Another damn split, this time with MSU-Mankato, a home-and-home series with the road team winning both. A friend of mine has season tickets, and he told me that beyond Tony Lucia, the captain and the coach's son, no one is showing any heart. I agree, so let it be said: There should be no charges of nepotism because he's actually the only player on this fucking team playing like he goddamn cares. Seriously, MSU-Mankato??? They finish off the first half of their season this weekend at Michigan Tech. Hope for a split.
#-8: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -3). This time used to be on top. Although Oklahoma St. is also a very good program, I remember back in the halcyon days of J Robinson's team that they would defeat the Cowboys with regularity. Not anymore; the fifth-ranked Gophs got clobbered by #3 Okie St. 21-8. They did come back to defeat Nebraska (#12) at home tonight, 28-14. But that came the day of a shocking story by the campus paper, the Minnesota Daily. The article accuses Robinson of selling and renting properties out to his players months after he graduated. He's done it, like, 55 times to the tune of $3 million total value. Robinson, a maverick who years ago was very vocal about his hate for Title IX and even caused some controversy for putting his objections to it in the match programs, might not weather this storm now that U. Athletic Director Joel Maturi has announced an investigation into his dealings. And this story is getting traction tonight; I just saw the news posted on USA Today's website. Robinson might not survive this -- especially if his grapplers keeps on getting pancacked by powerhouses like Okie St.
#-9: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: 0). This might be the only week this season the men's team did better than the women's. But in a sign that this powerful program will certainly fall short in their quest for a title this year, they were completely shut out in a tie and loss at Harvard last week. Yes, the Crimson were ranked ninth in the polls when they played the Gophers, but the Gophers were second. And they played like #2, even if Noora Räty was named WCHA Co-Defensive Player Of The Week for the second straight time. She shouldn't get an award if she doesn't win once, brilliant as though she may be. They are done for the rest of the year after two at North Dakota this weekend.
#-10: Vikings (Last Week: Positive Numbers). Ah, now this, this is the beginning of the end. It's not the loss that's so disturbing as much as the way they lost, a thorough 30-17 pounding at the hands of the Bastard Chicago Cardinals. They got no pass rush, every bomb Kurt Warner through found its way into the hands of his receiver, and, worst of all, Adrian Peterson was bottled up. That meant that Brett Favre had to take an even larger role in the offense than he usually does. That wasn't really great when they were winning, but he was winging it at all times Sunday, to diminishing returns. This is the time of year where Favre's arm starts to lose its effectiveness, and with a game this week versus Cincinnati, it couldn't come at a worse time. Plus, three of the starters in the secondary might be out for the game. This could be another air raid on the Vikes -- and that means that people might follow me off the bandwagon.
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