Dealing With Too Much E-Mail

I tried.  OK, I kind of didn't.  I had the occasional impulse to go through my e-mails and see which ones I wanted to read and which ones I could delete.  But once that urge went, it didn't, or hasn't come back for months, if not years.

At its worst, I had 100,000 unread e-mails unread in my main inbox.  Nearly all of them are political donation e-mails, and goddammit, I totally regret ever donating to those campaigns, though I'm mad mostly because my side lost.  But the donation e-mails haven't stopped.  There was a time I could go through every single e-mail that I got each and every day.  But once those donation e-mails hit my inbox, I couldn't.  So I thought I could let it go for one day ... except one day became two, and then it became a week, then a month, and then 100,000 unread e-mails.

What finally forced my hand several months ago was that Yahoo! Mail said I was bumping up against my storage limit.  Though theoretically I would eventually have to worry about the limit with all the non-political e-mails I still have in my inbox since Day One, it's all those fucking donation e-mails that have taken up all my storage space.  So, with the proverbial gun cocked and aimed at my head, I finally had the excuse to say fuck it, I'll just delete e-mails without looking at them.

But how to do that?  Going through individual e-mails to make sure they were political ones defeats the purpose of a mass delete, so I went with deleting by keyword.  But which one?  I wasn't feeling a sense of urgency.  But I knew, deep down, that I wanted to just get under this limit as quickly as possible, so I just wanted to find one keyword, zap all the e-mails with that keyword even if some innocent and non-political ones get swept up, and be done with it.

I profess I didn't think too long and hard over the one word I decided to use -- "donate."  It seemed to be the one word in every political e-mail I had.  After all, the point of those e-mails is to ask for money.  So I searched for "donate," clicked the all e-mails box, and deleted away.  Yahoo! Mail gives you a box with a final warning.  In this case, it told me that I was going to delete, say, 100 e-mails -- and then gives me the option of deleting, like, 10,000 more e-mails that also have the word "donate" somewhere in the body.  And I'm all, OK!  And Yahoo! Mail actually had to take a few minutes, but those 10,000 e-mails were gone ... and yet there were more even more e-mails in my inbox that had the keyword "donate" but weren't deleted yet.  So I had to go through this cycle two or three more times before it apparently found and killed off all the e-mails with "donate."

Got to be honest: I'm happy.  I was never going to go through the e-mails in the way my ideal self wanted to because I simply didn't have the time nor the inclination.  This massive kill-off is untidy and inaccurate, but it quickly got me down below the limit.  And I had bumped up against that limit a couple more times not too long after this first time, but I guess I had more e-mails with "donate," so zap! they went.  Finally, I'm under, and hopefully for good (so long as I get rid of the political e-mails that will infect my inbox after I die).  I know that I will be sentimental for e-mails that I really, really wanted to keep but unfortunately had "donate" somewhere in the body of that e-mail ... that is if and when I ever realize they're gone.  But I finally dealt with too much e-mail in a way that, if I were telling the truth to myself, I really like and wanted to do.

Can't Believe I'm Talking About The Jynx Game For The Third Time, But ...

... remind me to never buy a ticket to this team until they win a championship again.  I had a great seat, but then I had a great seat to see a chokejob up close.  Goddamn, I'm still so fucking mad.  Just glad af that the ticket was free.

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Saturday, May 9:

• Let's go back to Wednesday, May 6 Thursday, May 7, when, before work, I went to the panaderia close to me and got, um, some pastry that was really good.  Also got a small mocha.  With tip (and rounding down because no more pennies), I paid: $12.
• That evening, after work, I went to the National Sports Center.  Minnesota United was holding a practice open only to season-ticket holders.  I was wondering if James Rodriguez was going to be there.  Didn't see him train, but near the end of the session, I saw him pop out for autographs.  And a horde of people, many of them holding either James Colombia jerseys, the flag of Colombia, or both, swarmed to him.  Really nice ... and apparently, if reports are correct, the last thing he will do in Loons-branded gear.  Anyway, there was a food truck there, KCM Eggroll.  Got a jumbo pork egg roll and a strawberry lemonade.  With tip it came out to: $18.
• Then, after that, I went to Chick-Fil-A to get my free nuggets after the Timberwolves eliminated The Denver Nuggets (get it?).  Got a watermelon hibiscus sunjoy, too.  But I charged all that to my credit card.  I was still hungry, and I hadn't been to Potbelly in a while, and it's right across the way from Chick-Fil-A, so I got a bowl of chili from Potbelly.  I was going to throw in a tip, but something got crossed up because the guy paid me my whole change without the tip.  I was going to round up to give a total of $8, but instead I only paid: $7.45.
• ETA at 1:40 a.m. on May 11 that on Wednesday the 6th I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Edition) to see ******a, who had finally delivered on her promise to rub me down.  Unfortunately there weren't too many girls working the stripclub, so the amount of time she could be doing table dances for me was shortened, so I only got 16 from her.  Add that to cover, tips for ******a and two other strippers and security, and a drink for myself (with tip) and I spent: $186.
• Back on Saturday the 2nd I did my annual sojourn to Wings Financial to add money to my account in an effort to keep it active.  Threw in: $20.
• That evening, after watching MNUFC win on TV, I celebrated by going to Zantigo.  Now, I know it's not "real" Mexican food, and that notion has been reinforced by all the Mexican and Central and South American mom-and-pop shops in the area.  But in total those restaurants are a force, and now I'm scared that Zantigo will go the way of the nearby Subway and close.  So I went there and got a "double-stacked" (in Taco Bell terms) taco and some ancho fries.  Zantigo also rounds down, so instead of $7.87 I only had to pay: $7.85.
• We zip back to Sunday, April 26, when ***e* was in town.  Got a quick wank session in with her.  So glad to see her and her hand in person: $120.
• That afternoon I went to this combination antique store/coffeeshop that is right by my house.  If I didn't have to cross a busy street, I would walk there.  Funky place.  The antiques they sell include old Playboys at a dozen bucks apiece.  Didn't buy the mags; instead, I reconciled my monthly expense list there while eating a pesto sandwich with tomato soup as a dip, and I washed that down with an Italian soda.  With tip: $27.95.
• Saturday the 25th ... got a shave from the barbering school close to me.  This dude was much more professional than the previous one.  With tip: $14.
• MNUFC played in the afternoon.  Along the way I saw the local kids selling brownies.  Got one, and this time I did not get a smushed one; see below/earlier.  Cost: $1.
• Later that evening I went to Falling Knife Brewery to attend their Timberwolves outdoor watch party.  Good times, even if it was really crowded.  Saw a bit of the Wild Game before the Wolves started.  That Game was interrupted by Trump's second fake assassination at the start of the White House Correspondents Dinner.  When he came on to do his bullshit press conference, we booed until the brewery changed the channel from ABC to ESPN, where the rest of the Timberwolves' Win over Denver was airing.  Good times all around!  So the Potter's Pasties food truck was parked there, and I got a pastie.  With tip: $16.
• Also there was that woman I see sometimes at the Black Hart.  She sells homemade Mexican food -- tacos, burritos, etc.  Funny seeing her there.  But I like an entrepreneur, so I along with the pastie, I bought one burrito from her at a price of: $5.
• On Friday the 24th I was invited to a party that day (or the day before, can't remember).  I usually don't like doing that, but *****a was hosting it, and I hadn't gotten cranked from her in a long, long time.  Moreover, ****e* was going to be there, and I have seen her at many, many parties, but I have never gotten intimate with her even though I have always wanted to.  I finally arranged to be double-teamed by those two and it was as good as I had hoped.  We three bonded over being water signs, too!  Those two and cover ... wow, that's a lot of money ... came out to: $290.
• And later that evening I went to Bebe Zito for a late night burger and pop (and, well, Caffetto too, but I charged what I got there on my credit card).  With tip, that late dinner at Bebe Zito cost: $8.
• Tuesday, April 21 ... did I talk about the massage I finally got from ******a here on WAF yet?  Maybe I haven't, and maybe I won't.  Anyway, this was the day I finally got a massage from her.  Finally, after ... geez, maybe two decades, I got her to see me naked!  And she was good -- a 90-minute massage cost me: $150.
• On Monday the 20th I went to a stripper party *****y told me the day of.  I have said no to her so often that I felt like I finally needed to tell her yes.  Moreover, ****e was working, and I hadn't seen her in a long time, so I arranged them both to double-team me.  I quivered when I came -- quivered!!!  And man, that costs me a lot of money!  With cover: $320.
• Saturday, April 18: The neighbor kids were selling brownies on my way to the Loons Game.  Got a deformed one this time 'round.  Disappointing, but I figure they knew how to do business, unfortunately.  The brownie cost: $1.
• On Sunday the 12th I got wanked by ******e, who complained about Minnesota again and is planning to leave again.  HJ set me back: $120.
• I bid on this online auction for items from the now-closed institution SexWorld.  I got aced out on several things I wanted, like a few signs and a Shop-Vac.  But I won a hard hat!  It's not branded with SexWorld, rather the construction company that oversaw their renovation.  Yeah, the company just decided to, uh, leave a hard hat there, and it apparently stayed in the back all this time, and the owner made eight-plus bucks off of me so I could very tangentially own a piece of SexWorld.  Anyway, I had to go downtown on this day (and not at the SexWorld site but another place several blocks east) to pay and pick it up.  On my way back, I saw that the Rustica Bakery was open, and I figured I would stop and rest of my feet.  Purchased a chocolate croissant and a small lemonade.  They rounded down.  With tip this light snack was: $10.75.
• Finally, on Saturday, April 11, I went to the library to make copies of my tax forms, both for the state (I needed to make copies of my federal to send to the state) and for myself.  The county next to the one I live in gives everyone who either has their county's library card or has their library card from whatever county they live in linked to their system (like I do) gets five bucks' worth of copies and printouts each month.  (Up until maybe a couple months ago, it was five bucks a week.)  That saves me a lot of money, but I still had to make so many copies that I still needed to shell out money to get all the copies I needed made, even if it was only: $1.

Good through May 9.

Oh, and one more thing about the Lynx Game today/Saturday: I realized that since I went downtown to watch English soccer this morning, I am going downtown twice, which seems like a waste.  I guess I could rationalize it by noting I am going to two different areas of downtown, and I won't be crossing paths twice today, but still.  Maybe it couldn't be helped.  Nonetheless, it's quite weird.

Yeah, about tonight's/Saturday night's Lynx Game ... as always, I get up to two tickets, and as usual, I don't use one of them and go by myself because none of my friends are sports fans.  But I got yelled at by one of my friends, or "friends," when I posted about the other ticket I got for the Timberwolves playoff Game in which they eliminated Denver.  He wanted a direct message.  I'm thinking, "Bitch, I have to cater to your ass over everyone else I know?"  I guess I understand that people get busy, but the more I think about it, the more entitled he sounds.  The hell does he get off asking me for special treatment?

And yet I don't want this ticket to go to waste.  And finally, I want to DM him about this offer to see how grateful, or even normal, he will act if we sit next to each other to watch the Game.  I can't believe he'll behave like a dick who thinks he deserves to be waited on hand and foot.  But if he does, well, I'll have proof beyond doubt to never offer anything to him again.  So, should I do it?

More Doing Stuff

I had plans tomorrow/Saturday.  I would wake up early to watch the EPL downtown, then there is thing called Open Doors where many famous buildings open up their business sides to see how its guts look, and then I need to get a haircut, and then I would go home, have a shower, eat a frozen pizza, make myself a cocktail, and veg out.

But no!  My friend got a ticket to tomorrow/Saturday night's Lynx season opener.  I'm not feeling really good about this squad; they lost half their team, and Napheesa Collier got double ankle surgery and might not be back until June.  (The draft next year will be loaded, so I think they should tank and get into the lottery, but that's just me.)  So I've got a feeling they're going to lose to an ascending Atlanta Dream team.  But hey, this ticket is free, so the pizza can wait!

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

I went to bed early last night, then I had work, then I saw MNUFC practice close to my house, then I had to talk to My Mother, who drained me of my will to live (naturally), and so I now have the time to do the WMNSS just less than an hour before the day turns.  I will do this quickly:

#0: United FC (Last Week: -4).  My good feelings for the Loons might be buoyed by the fact I saw this in a crowd, but I'm glad I did.  Saturday they were down in Columbus, 2-0, and they looked like a team that deserved to lose their third Match in a row.  But suddenly, they showed a resilience I haven't seen in these guys, or any local team for that matter, when they were in a bad deficit.  Three Minutes after the Crew scored their second, Kelvin Yeboah pulled one back.  Seven Minutes later, Yeboah scored again to tie.  Then eight Minutes after that, Anthony Markanich scored the Game-winner.  All three came on Set Pieces, by the way, so they shall be nicknamed Set Piece FC.

I can't remember the last time this XI came back to win after being down by more than one Goal, let alone on the road.  But if they can do that, they've got the moxie to never give up on any Game, and that's something I want to see from teams I'm rooting for.  Now, do they have the endurance now that they're coming up on playing three Matches in a calendar Week, beginning with a home date with Austin Sunday, followed by The Colorado Rapids at Allianz Field on Wednesday?

#-1 (tie): Timberwolves and Wild (Last Week, respectively: -1 and -1).  I thought about separating these conjoined twins because their respective Second Round series has been different.  The Wolves survived to pull off the upset of the Spurs in San Antonio in Game 1 on Monday, only to get the shit beaten out of them in Game 2 on Wednesday.  I'm very happy the T-Wolves have home-court advantage in the sport that parcels out the strongest home cookin', but I'm afraid that Game 2 reinforces the prediction most of us have, namely that San Antone would just run Minnesota out of the gym.  Might still happen, but that Game 1 Win allows us to dream.  A-Wooo!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, the Wild look cooked going down 0-2 to The Bastard Quebec Nordiques.  They're a fast, skilled-skating team ... kind of like what the Mild were in playoff seasons past.  Hey, I thought fast, skilled-skating teams usually get drilled in the postseason in favor of bruising, physical ones -- how come Colorado can run rings around Minnesota?  Still, this is hockey, and even though road teams are basically .500 (which means the Mild could get swept), I can feel as though Jesper Wallstedt can get his mind right and bring the series back even just by himself, and I don't need to provide evidence of that feeling beyond saying this is hockey.  Also, they beat The Bastard North Stars, and that means a fuckin' lot to me.

In the end, I couldn't separate the two.  This is the first year where both teams advanced past their respective First Rounds -- let alone on the same night, let alone at home.  They both tie last screening Week.  And if they both get eliminated, they'll end tied this screening Week.

#-2: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -2).  In their final series on the road, they won two-of-three at Penn St.  Will they reach the B1G Tournament?  I don't know, I'm not familiar with the format.  They host Michigan for three this weekend.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -3).  I had to re-check that the Twinks went 3-3 this Week because it felt like they went 3-333.  It's the fault of the Bullpen, who ain't worth shit right now and have piled on more chokejobs.  This organization is not giving any paying sports fans a reason to even be curious about how they're doing ... well, unless they want to see a shitshow in the late Innings.  And yet despite all of that, they're only 3 1/2 Games out of first in the AL Central (and yes, they are last in the Division).

#-Infinity: Gopher softball (Last Week: -5).  Finished the regular season losing two-of-three at Northwestern.  That put them 7-17 in The Big Ten ... which is good enough for twelth and a spot in the conference tournament ... where they lost to five-Seed Washington yesterday/Wednesday afternoon, 4-2, to end their season.  And I don't think there's an NIT or College Basketball Crown or anything like that.  Is Piper Ritter in danger of losing her job?

Hooters Ain't The Only One

I swear there has been a rash of restaurant closings this year that I lament.  They don't hurt as much as Hooters, of course.  And honestly, I have been trying to come up with a list, but can't think of too many.  I've already talked about the Taco Bell that was near me.  (By the way, nothing has gone in in its place yet.  Taco Bell disappeared, furnishings and signage and all, in a day, but that place has remained empty for weeks now.  The hell?)

The one that comes to mind right now is the local Subway.  When I was in high school, the place where it was, located at a strip mall not too far away from the high school, was the place to be, sad as it might seem now.  But it was dependable and good enough, and so that's where we all went (and for me, to get those stamps you lick and stick on those cards in order to get a free sub).

What the owners of that place more than several years ago was move to an even bigger place across the street.  That's investment, and I love that.  It was clean, and I was treated well every time I went there.  Unfortunately, it was empty too much of the time.  I wanted to go there more often, but there are so many other places to eat out, both in the fast food and the fancy lanes.  I tried to support them whenever I had the urge to, but it wasn't enough.  A few weeks ago, when I drove by during the day, I didn't see their "OPEN" light on and there was no car outside.  And maybe last week, all the Subway signage was taken down.  I feel sad because it feels as though the owner took a risk based on previous success, but whether it was the bigger size of the restaurant, the new location, something else, or all of the above, it, well, backfired.

And even though it's not my responsibility because I can't eat out every single day or else I'll go broke, I worry about the places I eat out at going under.  There's that speakeasy I haven't been to since March Madness.  It's expensive to go there, but I still want it to be around when I want to go there.  And there's a mom-and-pop panaderia close by me.  Their pastries and croissants and baked goods are fantastic, and the layout looks lush and wonderful, and I barely see anyone whenever I go there.  I hate to come across it one day and see it gone.  But again, I'm not made out of money.  What can I do?

I blame Trump.  Seriously, with all the shit he's done in order to line his pockets, I think it's sensible to blame his corrupt ass.

More Strainer Frustrations

So I blog posted about forgetting about putting in a strainer in the master shower for, like, a month or so.  Now, for the second time this year, as I was letting the washing machine wash my dirty clothes tonight/Monday night, I went downstairs once the machine was done to see the strainer dislodged from the drain.

Maybe I should remind you (I'm thinking I've blog posted about this before) that the drain coming from the washing machine isn't connecting to some drain pipe that automatically feeds down the main line and out of the house.  It's pointed right into the laundry room basin.  It's just pointed in there.  But, as I get occasionally reminded (especially these past two times this year), the force of the water coming out of the washing machine is enough to push the strainer, which is just sitting on top of the drain, off of the drain.

These two times I see the strainer popped out and just laying on the basin.  I also see wetness around the main drain on the floor.  If there is not anything holding back the water in the basin, there's so much water flowing through the pipe leading out of the house that it backs up, and to relieve pressure, it rises up through the cover on the floor's drain.  Hate when that happens.

And the thing is, when I was getting the clothes washed last/Monday night, I thought about checking in the middle of the wash to make sure the drain didn't dislodge like that.  But I was too busy zoning out on my laptop and TV.  If I had gone down there, I might have been able to put the strainer back in its place -- not in time, but possibly with enough time (if that makes any sense) that all the clumps of lint and fuzz wouldn't have gone into the drain and through the pipe.  I now have these unrelenting thoughts that the septic tank is backed up with all the crap that would've been trapped by the strainer, and I hate that I wouldn't pry my eyes from the two screens I had on and go downstairs to prevent that from happening.  Dammit, I hate myself right now.

The Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: April 2026

I've gotta admit that my enthusiasm for doing these monthly reviews has completely subsided now that the local Hooters has closed.  It's not as if the women I'm reviewing and jerking off to were working at MOA, but I had this ... well, irrational and vicarious feeling that they could.  Now that the closest Hooters is in, I think, Iowa, the servers in this calendar are just pictures to me.  There was literally no chance that I would meet any of these hot babes in person before, but now that there is no Hooters at the Megamall anymore, there is absolutely no chance.

But soldier on I will till the end of 2026.  Unfortunately, I am seeing a trend that I don't like: The crop top.  I like crop tops so long as the Hooters waitress wearing it isn't wearing anything underneath.  This isn't porn, however, so of the five Hooters girls who are wearing bare-belly shirts, four of them obviously  are wearing bikini tops underneath, and I'll just go ahead and assume that the fifth is wearing one, too.  That is way too much clothing for my liking.

There are a dozen servers for this month, and I can point out four of them.

In fourth place is Maddie, out of Loveland, Colo.  Dark blonde wavy hair, she is sporting a two-piece yellow bikini.  She's got a nice figure, but the things that place her on this list are her smile and the fact that she's wearing a cowboy hat with the Hooters logo.  Yep, that's enough for me.

In third place is Alyssa, from Newark, Del.  Long black hair, she's wearing a two-piece that is light purple/lavender in the important spots and are connecting with lime green string.  She's smirking.  With her left hand she's tugging down at at the middle of her bikini top.  And with her right hand she's placing/fake-tugging the knot that's holding up her bikini bottom.  It's all intimation, but yep, that's also enough for me.

In second place is Taylor, hailing out of O'Hare, Ill.  (Not O'Hare Airport, but the city of O'Hare, which I didn't know until now is a city in Illinois.)  The brunette is wearing a patterned two-piece bikini.  While she's tugging at the middle of her top, she's pursing her lips, and honestly, what I like about her is that she gives off a tomboy vibe.  She certainly doesn't look like a Hooters girl.  That makes her more real, and more approachable.

Finally, in first place is Anna.  The server with very long black hair (it goes all the way down to her hips, in fact) and deep and glistening black skin is sporting a yellow two-piece.  She's first because she is one of the few women from the now-dead Hooters at The Mall Of America I've seen in these calendars.  And, I was lucky enough for her to sign this calendar, right on her own picture.

Now that I've written my thoughts down, I realize that I spotlight all four because of technicalities.  Sadly, that is the nature of a very blah month that is further weighed down because most of the women are wearing too much clothing.  But don't worry -- I have already pleasured myself to this month.  Congratulations to Anna and the rest, and I hope Anna has found new and gainful employment.