The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1).  This club is at least racking up the Wins.  They extended their winning streak to four in a row after beating Michigan (in four Sets) and Maryland (a sweep) at Maturi.  This gets them firmly in the NCAA field; whether they will cause a ruckus once they get in, well, that's something we can ruminate on another day.

They will get a pair of very stern tests this Week.  They go to 12th-ranked Purdue tomorrow/Friday night, then host 21st-ranked Washington Sunday afternoon.

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -4).  Since May 9, the Loons had won only twice spanning all competitions.  Meanwhile, since that same time span, St. Louis was undefeated in their past 21 Games in all competitions.  So of course MNUFC won at home for the first time since May 2, duh!

Look, I anticipated a dreadful showing from the home side, a probable final nail in the coffin for a team that, at least on paper, was begging to be put out of its misery.  And United FC obliged, allowing City to score in the 4th and 10th Minutes, and by the way, both Goals were pretty fuckin' soft.  After that second Goal (scored by former Loon Sang-bin Jeong), I started concentrating on my phone and wondering if I should skedaddle early.  Glad I didn't, because MNUFC mounted a comeback I haven't seen from any local team since ... well, the Vikings over the Packers in Week 1.  Still, it was impressive -- AZ Jackson (thank goodness they brought him back -- now do Christian Ramirez) in the 49th to give the XI some life, Kelvin Yeboah (he's quietly having a great Year) in the 68th to tie it, and then Marcus Caldeira (elevated from the reserve club over the summer, he's rapidly become a mainstay and an important piece of this squad from here on out) with a beautiful individual effort (with the help of a cross-field bomb from Joaquin Pereyra) in the 86th to win it.

The odds are still stacked against them; with only four Matches left in the regular season, the Loons remain five Points behind ninth place and the last playoff berth.  But in a very forgiving format, where half of the MLS teams qualify, they're not out of it.  But it's incumbent upon them to beat the Dynamo in Houston Saturday night.

#-3: Timberwolves (NEW SEASON!!).  Smashed the Heat in Miami by 17 last/Wednesday night to start the season off with a Win.  Could've used without the bullshit no-call when Lamelo Ball took, like, six steps to get behind the arc for a Three-Pointer that went in.  Ball spearheads the new look this franchise has.  The hope is he can take play-handling duties off of Anthony Edwards so Ant has more time maneuvering and scoring from the off-Guard position.  The thinking of this team is to outscore opponents.  But they'll have to defend anyway, and they traded their 4 & 5 guys, Julius Randle and Naz Reid, in order to get Melo.  How can they overcome their lack of (or no) depth in the frontcourt?  And who's to say that Ball can shake off the injury bug that has become a feature of his career?  Great start to the season, but who knows if, when and how those Achilles heels (I don't mean the actual injury, I just use that term as a stand-in for "problems") will haunt this T-Wolves team?

The Wolves start out the Year busy -- this Week they visit Orlando, host Toronto in their home opener, travel to Cleveland and host The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors.

#-4: Wild (Last Week: -3).  Held off St. Louis and Columbus at the GCA, then came storming back from 3-1 to force a draw but, sadly, lose the Game in Overtime in Edmonton.  But at least they're tied with The Bastard Winnipeg Jets for first in the Central.

The Wild are busy with their annual trek out to the Pacific Northwest and The Prairie Provinces of Canada.  This screening Week will have the final four Games of the Wild's five-Game road trip, with tilts at Calgary, Seattle, Vancouver and said Utah Mammoth.

#-5: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2).  I keep saying that only the Games versus Ohio St. and Wisconsin count for this program.  That's still true, so I want to give dap that they managed to split against the then-top-ranked team in the nation, the Buckeyes.  Moreover, they dominated Ohio St. in Friday's opener, whipping them 6-2.  They lost 6-5 the next night; the Gophers came back from a three-Goal deficit with three of their own, then took a 5-4 lead early in the Third Period, only to cough up back-to-back Goals 42 Seconds apart.  With that being said, I looked at last Year's schedule, and sure enough, the U. beat both the Buckeyes and the Badgers last season.  They just didn't win in the NCAA Tournament, when it really matters.  OK, so I may have moved the goal posts for this club.  I'm sorry to concentrate this program's success on whether or not they can beat the two real blue-chip programs in women's college hockey when I wasn't cognizant that the U. has beaten both teams on a not-uncommon basis.  Maybe I should say that they need to flip regular season victories over the Buckeyes and Badgers to tournament Wins.

Anyway, they host freshly-minted top-flight program Lindenwood (I believe they're based in St. Louis) for a pair this/Thursday evening and tomorrow/Friday afternoon.

#-6: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!).  I have to keep telling myself to give Bret Larson a mulligan this Year.  Otherwise I'd gouge my own eyes out seeing they got emasculated Friday in Duluth by then-ninth-ranked Minnesota-Duluth, 7-1.  The U., by the way, I think was ranked 20th.  They won an extra Point Saturday after the Gophs came back from a Bulldogs 2-0 lead to tie it up and send it to a Shootout that they won, but I shouldn't expect anything from this squad this Year.

Ah, rivalries of yore: The Minnesota Golden Gophers host third-ranked North Dakota tonight/Thursday night and tomorrow/Friday night.

#-7: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -6).  Oof.  A 1-0 Loss at Wisconsin Sunday afternoon extends their losing streak, and scoring drought, to three Matches, and it looks as though bracketologists have pushed the U. off the bubble.  Time's running out to right the ship; this Week they finish out the home portion of the schedule, playing 12th-ranked Washington tonight/Thursday night and Oregon Sunday afternoon.

Damn, I almost forgot about doing a blog post today.  Erg ... I want to save this for a lengthier post when I can pour more thought into it.  But I will say that I just remembered to e-mail the only two people who might go out and watch my alma mater's football Game at our regular bar.  Otherwise, it's kind of a shitshow that is still giving me anxiety for Saturday.

But I am going to a jazz club now.  Hopefully I'll be able to forget my troubles.

Addendum To: Gas Follies

Oh yeah, so I made it to the gas station before work.  Car got there, no problem, no stalling or anything.  I gas up ... and it stopped at 8.4 gallons.  My tank (supposedly) holds 10.6.  You're telling me that I lose all 20 bars and that low gas indicator light goes on when I have 2.2 gallons of gasoline left in my tank??  I could've gone to work, came from work to home, gotten dinner (which I did last/Monday night), then gone to the gas station, and I probably would've been fine.  My fears were unfounded because apparently, my car dashboard is a lie.

Dammit, I knew I freaked myself out.  And because there was so much traffic backed up where I wanted to go, and I didn't want to wait in traffic, I took the side streets and thus was late for work.  And now I figure that I probably didn't have to be late because I probably didn't have to stop for gas in the morning.  So stupid.

Addendum To: Missing: My Hawaiian Shirt

Update: Found it!  It was hidden underneath the pile of clothes next to me in my bedroom.  Knew I would find it!

So now I hope I've woken up early enough to get gasoline, buy lottery tickets, and get to work on time.  Wish me luck!

Gas Follies

You know, I was going to blog post this morning after blog posting at 1 this morning, but then I thought it was too early and I could do it in the evening, and not we're well into the evening.  But I want to put in a second blog post because I was in the house all day, so why wouldn't I blog post twice?  But I want to have eight hours between blog posts, so if I do this now, I won't be able to blog post again till the middle of the night, and I don't want to stay up to do my daily blog post for tomorrow.

I'm blog posting now.

---

So my real point of this blog post.  I have signed up for this gas station application, and as a reward for signing up, I can fill up my tank for 25 cents off for my first five fill-ups (although I have to use them all 90 days after I sign up).  Obviously I need to use this seeing as gas is more than four bucks per gallon right now.  But I want to maximize each fill-up.  This discount is good for up to 25 gallons, I think, and my tank gets only ten, so I'm already not maximizing my discount that way.  But I don't want to just fill up when I'm only half-empty.  So this has become a game whereby I bring down my gas tank as much as possible so that I make as much of my discount as I can.

That has meant that I am driving my car to the point where I have no bars on my gas meter.  I know I shouldn't freak out when I see both that and the orange low gas indicator, but I feel like if I dance with the devil one too many times, it's going to get me.  So it got that low when I was driving last/Saturday night.  (It seems I'm going through gas a lot faster than I'm used to; maybe I'll blog post about that some other time.)  I knew I didn't want to drive anywhere today/Sunday, and also that I will be seeing ******a at My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Edition) Tuesday, so I know I will need gas then, so I wanted to thread the needle and gas up after work tomorrow/Monday.  But I needed to last till then, so I went to a gas station to put in just a tad, just a sip, that would be enough for me not to get a heart attack from running out of gas as I drove to and from work tomorrow/Monday.

I thought two bucks was enough.  That's half a gallon, but that should get me at least 15 miles, which should be more than enough.  However, I also was expecting to see one bar pop up on my dashboard.  It didn't, and that freaks me the hell out.

So even though I should hold my piss, the plan is to go to the gas station in the morning, before work.  I might as well use the time to get lottery tickets for Father, too, and shoot, I'll get coffee for myself as well.  This is all assuming I will want to get out of the house with enough time so that I can do all this and not be late for work, but that might be a tall order.

Maybe I'm just freaking myself out over running out of gas.  Or, I'm going to stall out tomorrow.

Spit On My Scarf

I was going to the the MNUFC Match yesterday/Saturday afternoon.  I still love autumn, but the colder weather is stuffing up my nose, and so I am spitting up more often.  I know it's a bad-looking habit, but I still spit on the ground, and I really had to spit because my nose was all stuffed up.

I found a sewer grate (I try and aim my spit through the grates; I usually fail) and was about to spit.  I still love autumn, but I notice that it often gets windy this season.  So I spit onto the grate just as the wind picks up and picks up one end of the scarf I was wearing, and goddammit, I spit onto my scarf.  First time I've ever done that.

I tried dabbing it with tissues and towels, but I now have to clean it to get my spit out, ick.  And that means I need to figure out if I can machine-wash the scarf.  If not, I'll have to learn how to hand-wash these things.  I want to start cleaning my ballcaps, so I'm glad that I just bought a stain brush and a mesh bag for laundry in case that's the only way I should clean my scarf.  Right now, I feel an intense urge to wash that thing to get the spit out of it, but I wonder if that urge will dissipate after those items are delivered.  Regardless -- fucking itck, spit on my scarf. ...  Shit, why didn't I hold the ends of my scarf down to make sure I don't spit onto it?!

Would You Go To A Concert For Just One Song?

Have I talked about going to concerts to see an artist or band only because I want to hear that one song I like from him/her/them?  I'm doing it tonight/Saturday night for Digable Planets, whose "Rebirth of Slick (Cool Like Dat)" remains one of the most distinctive rap hits ever.  But like many artists/bands I'm framing in this argument, that's the only song I like.  In fact, with Digable Planets, it's the only song I know.

Yet is it worth it, under those circumstances, to pay $60 for a ticket -- just to hear that one song you love played live?  Obviously, since I bought the ticket, the answer, at least for right now, is yes.  Because I have said no to other artists because the price was too high -- Steve Lacy ("Playground," which, according to Setlist.fm, he's not playing in his shows) recently, and Cowboy Junkies (their legendary cover of "Sweet Jane," although "Common Disaster" is also a very good song of theirs) last year I think.  I can justify sixty bucks for one song, and who knows, maybe this is a way to get into their other songs, too.

So I'm going.  My college football team's first bye Week, and I am spending the evening going out instead of staying in and watching sports.  Oh, well.

Black Used Toothpaste, Ick

I was having trouble finding something quick to blog post about, and then I remembered I wanted to talk about something that happened to me last week.

Last week I brushed my teeth.  Admittedly, it had been some time since the last time I brushed my teeth up to that point.  When I spat out the toothpaste, it was, I kid you not, black.  Maybe not pitch black, but it was noticeably dark, man, so dark that I stared at spent toothpaste more than you usually would.  Then and there, I resolved to brush my teeth more.

And then I broke that promise to myself because I don't think I've brushed my teeth with any more frequency than I did before.

I brushed my teeth just now.  However, what I spat out wasn't anywhere close be being black, thank God.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Vikings (Last Week: -1).  Another impressive defensive and special teams outing Sunday to defeat the Saints in New Orleans ... and this time, there is enough offensive firepower -- mostly thanks to the arm and legs of Kyler Murray and the continued rugged running by Aaron Jones, Sr. -- to make me believe there can be balance with this team.  And they remain undefeated at 5-0, so I think they've earned the right to be above negative numbers.

There are two other undefeated clubs, The Bastard Dallas Texans (who did not play last weekend and so they're 4-0) and San Francisco.  The 49ers and Vikings are slated to play in Week 11.  It's a Sunday Night Football Game.  And it'll be played in Mexico City.  If they can remain undefeated till then, damn, watch out.  In the meantime, they're enjoying their bye Week; they'll host The Bastard Baltimore Colts on the 25th.

#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -5).  Road victories are always good, and this team got a pair over middling Rutgers Friday evening and Ohio St. Sunday afternoon.  However, they dropped a Set to the Scarlet Knights.  Gopher clubs in the past would've made this two sweeps.  An armchair bracketologist has the U. pegged as a seven-Seed for the NCAAs.

Back-to-back home Games against Michigan and Maryland tomorrow/Friday and Saturday night.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2).  Swept their East/West Showcase over the weekend -- 4-0 over Maine Friday, 4-2 over in-conference school Bemidji St. Sunday afternoon.  Still, isn't it weird that the Head Coach demands that he has his nickname listed in his bio -- and that his nickname is "Boom?"  Well, "Boom" now gets a chance to test his mettle.  Ohio St., currently the top-ranked team in the nation, comes to town for a pair of contests tomorrow/Friday night and Saturday afternon.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -4).  Lost at Tampa Bay, had strong Wins at Florida and home vs. (Las) Vegas, then had a Game at The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers get away from them to a 5-2 score.  I don't have anything else to say about this club beyond that.  The Week is calming down, relatively, with three contests: Home to St. Louis and Columbus, then at Edmonton.

#-4: United FC (Re-Entry!).  I've already told you a way a losing squad can lose my patience is by blowing a lead.  Well, another way to lose my patience (soccer squads only) is to allow Goals when they're down to ten men.

They did the former Saturday night vs. Houston.  They gave up the first Goal in the 18th Minute, but Kelvin Yeboah tied it up in the 48th, then Marcus Caldeira (he's a keeper, and the only Loons player to break through this Year) got them ahead in the 78th ... only for them to cough up two Points in the 92nd fucking Minute.  They still haven't won a league Match at home since May 2.  Then, last/Wednesday night, they were tied at 1 at Colorado when the Rapids' Sayed Abu Farchi, with the help of VAR, was red-carded for slapping Michael Boxall across the face.  (Boxall provoked Farchi into doing it by flipping him over as the two of them were at the sideline fighting for a ball.  Boxy's a dick, but he's our dick ... at least for the rest of the season.)  Conditions were good for MNUFC to get a go-ahead Goal, right?  Nope; the Backline allowed Colorado to score in the 74th to take a 2-1 lead.  But then, ten minutes later, the Match was tied at 2-all.  Note that I didn't say Minnesota United scored.  Instead, the Rapids potted an Own Goal ten Minutes later when Colorado's Loic Williams tried to clear a shot from Yeboah when Yeboah was at the End Line and Williams was in front of his own net; the ball may have had some spin, but Williams muffed it, and the english from the ball scooted it past the Goal Line.  Soccer is a dumb Game, and even though MNUFC did nothing from the Red Card on, they get a Point.

That Point, and the Point they got against Houston, don't fucking matter; they're still next-to-last in the West and are now five Points behind for ninth place.  And they host St. Louis Saturday afternoon.  I couldn't attend the Game against the Dynamo, thank Buddha, but this weekend I have no other plans (well, I could go to a stripper party, but I'll pass), so I'm using the money I've spent and going to this one, and considering how St. Louis City is scoring and winning seemingly at will right now (until last/Wednesday night's scoreless draw at home versus Vancouver in a showdown between The Western Conference's two-best teams, St. Louis had netted at least three Goals in their previous five tilts), this could get very, very ugly very, very quickly.

#-5: Gopher football (Last Week: 0).  They're not at the bottom of this Week's WMNSS (I had trouble deciding, so I fell back on one Game vs. two), but the most disappointing Loss I've seen in a while has to belong to the U. gridironers losing at moribund Purdue.  The Boilermakers suck, and yet this was an ass-kicking by the tune of 41-13.  They had so much goodwill and momentum after winning at Washington and making the most of Michigan's miscues in reclaiming The Little Brown Jug.  I really thought P. J. Fleck had a program where they wouldn't lose to teams clearly beneath them.  Guess not.  And to completely no-show is just inexplicable.  Is this club's motivation dependent on the opponent?  If so, is hosting Iowa for Floyd Of Rosedale next Saturday (coincidentally, both the Vikings and the Gopher football team have the same bye Week in 2026) going to get their attention?

#-6: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -3).  Granted, the XI faced a pair of Top 10 squads this past screening Week, so the damage may not be as bad as I think it is.  Still, they got waxed at second-ranked Michigan St. 4-0 last Thursday and dominated by then-sixth-ranked Ohio St. at Robbie 2-0 Sunday afternoon.  They may still be in the tournament conversation, but it didn't help that they got shut out last Week, so getting right at Wisconsin Sunday afternoon would not be a bad thing.

One Downside To The Fall: Being Late For Work

The leaves are starting to turn around town, and it's gorgeous, obviously.  All the yellows, browns and reds dot the landscape wherever I walk or drive.  Add that yesterday/Tuesday was almost totally a cloudy day and was just above 60, and that is how I want to the weather to be every day for the rest of my days.

I subscribe to Racket, the online Twin Cities alternative created by four writers formerly of City Pages.  A couple weeks ago, as part of their "Friday Open Thread" prompt, they asked readers to rank the seasons.  I think it's unanimous that we all said autumn's #1.  It dawned on me, though, that whenever I've seen a rank of seasons (and I think I've seen more than one would estimate), that rank is published around the fall, meaning that the beautiful colors prompt a ranking of the seasons.  I'm fairly certain of that "coincidence."

For all the pros of the fall, I have noticed an annual drawback -- almost without fail, traffic going to work is so bad compared to the summer that I am routinely late for work.  We lay back in the summertime, but once we get past Labor Day it feels as though the entire state starts to get serious again, so everybody's going to work, and at the same time.  Add to it that the Sun is casting its oppressive rays on east-bound traffic around the time I go to work, and it's a massive challenge to get to work on-time.  I have been tardy a few times the past couple weeks and flat-out late a couple times in that same period.  That includes yesterday/Tuesday morning.  It doesn't help that the cold weather disincentivizes me to bolt out of bed and begin getting dressed.  But yesterday there was a huge car crash that happened right in front of me.  The two-lane I was on is busy that time of day, of course, so it took me several minutes before I found a gap in the traffic so I could get around what I found out was a three-car accident.

This should prompt an adjustment to me getting out of the house.  But like I said, it feels so much better to stay in bed.  Yep, the turndown in temperature is conducive to staying in my pajamas and underneath my sheets.  So, not only does that make it harder for me to get to work on-time, it makes me more likely not to care that I'm not at work on-time.

Should go to bed now.  Maybe getting more sleep will get me up early in the morn.