The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -6).  I have hopes that this team is not only going to build on their turnaround last Year, but make a leap.  They won both their Games this Week, and both were pretty good given the competition: At The Barn over St. Thomas (Little Brother is going to be a good team this season) by 14 Friday, then 63-61 at Cincinnati Monday on a last-second Three-Pointer by Bobby Durkin.  It's rare to see any team that's not a blueblood build up its resume so quickly, but this is a really good 3-0 start, and I think this should be recognized by placing these Gophers above negative numbers.  They'll be 5-0 after they take a breath and beat up on Southern and Western Illinois at Williams Arena.

#-1: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  Maybe typing this will manifest something bad, but right now, no Anthony Edwards, no problem -- the Timberwolves won both Games they played this screening Week, at New Orleans and home versus Utah, and they've won four in a row.  LaMelo Ball continues to not only integrate his game into the team but is, in many ways, leading it right now.  And Ayo Dosunmu is filling in spectacularly in Ant's absence.

The problem is that The Western Conference is, once again, competitive.  Right now it's also a bit upside down; The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.1.0 is leading the conference, and the T-Wolves are tied with Portland (?) right now for fourth.  They could have a great season and still not have home-court advantage for their First Round playoff series.  Oy.  But their victory over The Bastard New Orleans Jazz begins an eight-Game homestand (!!!) for the Wolves, so maybe home cooking lifts them up the standings.  This Week will be busy, however -- Dallas and Chicago come to town before said Trail Blazers play back-to-back at Target Center Monday and Tuesday.

#-2: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -7).  Should I be impressed that they went to Milwaukee and Marquette by eight Saturday afternoon?  I think I should, even though the Eagles are not a power by any means.  And then of course they come and annihilate Southern by 39 -- a typical blowout Win over an overmatched program that Power 4 teams use to make them feel good about themselves.  But hey, they're 3-0 headed to a pair of Games (both against schools from The Sunflower State) that will challenge them: Kansas St. Saturday afternoon in Sioux Falls, S. D. as part of the MarketBeat Invitational (whatever that is), then home versus Kansas Wednesday.  I hope to go to that Game.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -3).  Hate that they blew a two-Goal lead at GCA to Tampa Bay and lost in Overtime, 4-3, Saturday night.  But they beat the Canadiens at Montreal in OT and blasted San Jose at home.  And they have a five-Point lead over Nashville in The Central Division, are tied with The Bastard Hartford Whalers for second-most Points in The National Hockey League, and are only one Point behind Edmonton for most overall.  I usually rank teams here in the WMNSS based on weekly record, and I didn't change that principle here.  But this squad is damn good right now.  The line of Joel Eriksson Ek, Kirill Kaprizov and Matt Boldy may be the best line going in the NHL right now, and Brock Faber is expected back in their contest at Boston Saturday.  They play in Toronto tonight/Thursday night, and come home to host said Predators Tuesday.

#-4: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1).  Lost in four Sets at home to Penn St., swept the Hawkeyes at Iowa, then beat Indiana at Maturi in four.  Remember that beginning this season, there is a conference tournament, so the season is coming to a close this screening Week with Matches at home vs. Michigan St. Saturday and at top-ranked Nebraska Tuesday.  The three-worst teams in the B1G are left out; the other 15 (why 15?  Why not 16?) are placed in a five-stage bracket that will run from next Friday to Dranksgiving, aka Thanksgiving Eve (this tourney is being played in Fishers, Ind., by the way).  The Gophers are fighting with Wisconsin to be one of the top four teams in the conference who would get a double-bye to the Quarterfinals.

#-5: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -8).  Ostensibly got swept at home to #1 Wisconsin: Technically a Tie Thursday, but the Badgers won the Shootout, then routed the Gophs Saturday, 6-0.  A reminder that Brett Larson is in his first Year coaching the U. ... so don't get your hopes up.

Still in the middle of a long homestand, they host Alaska-Anchorage for two this weekend.

#-6: Gopher football (Last Week: -9).  Giving up 75-Yard Touchdown Passes from Ty Dieffenbach to Aidan Mizell on back-to-back defensive plays but saying they otherwise were still playing toe-to-toe with UCLA at Huntington Bank Stadium Saturday afternoon is a sorry "But other than that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?" conclusion.  But they lost to the Bruins by 14 Points, so, you know, it kind of was.  This club has exhibited stout play ability many times, and they've won tilts that previous regimes wouldn't have been able to pull off.  But losing for the third time this season seems kind of, you know, this program's lot in life (shrug).  At Penn St. Saturday.

#-7: Vikings (Last Week: -10).  For a single Week in the life of a local sports team, I don't remember the last time, if ever, there has been such ... I guess the word is fascination.  Can you recall seeing a Minnesota team show flashes of true excellence and at the same time flashes of utter ineptitude at the same time, and you can see either a future of unfettered glory and complete disaster?

Maybe only the Vikings can be the only squad that can pull that off.  But I don't ever remember a club being so good on one side and so bad on the other.  That could be my memory, or it could be recency bias since I was actually working on the field for Monday's Jekyll-and-Hyde performance versus Buffalo.  I can see the Defense playing well, superbly at times.  The advance metrics back up their excellence, and I think the Bills were held to their season low in points and/or yards.  But goddamn, I don't know what the fuck got into Carson Wentz.  I didn't think he was going to be materially better than Kyler Murray, who, in his last Game at home, was wildly inaccurate in his throws (even though he helped, and I do mean "helped," pull out a Win).  But I didn't think he would be this execrable -- 8-of-25 for 81 Yards, with two awful, awful Interceptions and a series of throws that missed so much I thought Josh Freeman was back in the league (man, remember Josh Freeman?  Actually, don't).  That may have been the worst-ever performance by a Vikings Quarterback I have ever seen, in-person or on TV.

So you have a world-class, if not generational, Defense being held back by a shit-ass Offense all season.  You do not want to waste a D that could help you win a Super Bowl.  So General Manager Nolan Teasley did the right thing, desperately though it is, and got ... back Kirk Cousins from The Bastard Oakland Raiders just before Tuesday afternoon's Trade Deadline.  There are so many ways to go from here.  First of all, as shitty as that was, I still could have rolled the dice on Murray or Wentz being QB if the Vikes traded for either a Running Back (it should've been Jonathan Taylor, but apparently Indianapolis still thinks it can rebuild around him) or a good interior Offensive Lineman.  Get the running game going, then key off of that for play action and hope to God Murray or Wentz can complete throws to receivers that are a bit more open.

Also, remember that this is Kirk Cousins.  You remember how much we complained about him, don't you?  He couldn't win in prime time, he only won one playoff Game while with The Purple, he checks down constantly -- all of that, as far as I know, remain true.  And tell me this: When is the last Super Bowl team who traded for their starting Quarterback in the middle of the season?  I'm guessing that's never happened.  But yes, I acknowledge that that Game Monday night was so fucking trauma-inducing that the organization had to do something.  And yes, Cousins has played much better than Murray or Wentz this season, and the familiarity with Kevin O'Connell's system should shorten the time it takes for him to figure out the playbook this Year.

Nonetheless, this move is fraught with danger.  You think that it can't get any worse, but the run game remains shit (Aaron Jones, Buddha bless him, looks creaky) and they haven't improved the interior OL.  And since this is a Minnesota sports team, history (the bad kind) could repeat itself because God hates Minnesota sports.  Cousins's last Game with the Vikings was at Lambeau Field just before Halloween in 2023, when he tore his right Achilles tendon, was out for the rest of the season, then left for Atlanta in the off-season.  Guess where the Vikings play Sunday afternoon?  And yet we are all hoping for this deus ex machina to deliver a victory over Green Bay and be the key that solves everything.  Until they lose and end their season, this club, and this story, will be fascinating.

#-Infinity: United FC (Last Week: -5).  Finished the regular season defeating San Jose at Allianz Field early Sunday evening, 3-1.  But they are finished because not enough teams lost in the Games played simultaneously.  While Colorado lost, Portland won, and Seattle was able to hold back LAFC for a 2-1 Win, and I think the Sounders grabbed the last playoff spot in the West.  Hrmph.

I got this fact from a skeet by local soccer writer Jon Marthaler: The Loons earned 15 Points in the final seven Matches of the Year, and nine Points in the 16 Matches before that.  That's the story of the season.  That mid-season swoon, where they couldn't keep the ball out of their own net, couldn't score with any regularity, and continued to blow leads to let Wins become Draws and Draws become Losses, is the reason they're staying home this post-season.  Now, does that mean that Cameron Knowles should be fired?  No.  I really don't see the point of switching Managers after just one Year, especially in a (thankfully) closed system like America has, unlike other countries where the ruthless and cutthroat threat of relegation turns soccer clubs, well, so desperate it becomes pathetic.  But I think the stabilization the XI showed at the end of the Year is something to build on.  And there is talent there.  Nectarios Triantis was great when he was playing; Joaquin Pereyra continues to be the talisman every club in Major League Soccer would want; Kelvin Yeboah is finally the Striker MNUFC needs him to be; and I want to see how Tomas Chanalay and Marcus Caldeira develop next season.  There might be massive turnover that could exceed what happened last off-season; I don't know if Michael Boxall or Will Trapp will be back next Year, so hats off to those proud vets.  But with Knowles hopefully getting another season and some smart acquisitions, there is room for optimism.

Now, next season is the transition, or "sprint," season that will go from late February to MLS Cup on Memorial Weekend.  I'm open to further reflection, but I've written my thoughts about that here.

Things Done/Things That Need To Be Done

I might do a daily recap of things I'm doing in anticipation of my parents coming home.  It'll be a way to see how I eventually will fall short.

I got done at work in time to take out some of the bags of leaves to the compost site in the county.  But it was after dusk, and I don't think the compost site has artificial lighting, so I was going to bring and use my headlamp.  But surprisingly, the batteries I use (I take them out after every use) didn't work anymore.  So I pivoted to taking virtually everything I took out of my storage unit and placed in the basement of my home back to the storage unit.  It's a lot, and I know I will need to make at least one more run.

I also dumped every single clear take-out container I had been saving up and threw them in the recycling bin.  The city takes recyclables every other week, and unfortunately for me, they're picking up this week and not next week, mere days before the 'Rents return home.  Could use seven more days to think and to make sure.

Still need to clear out the table and the floor and the kitchen island of my stuff.  That might take a while, unfortunately.  Oh, and tomorrow I go to and leave work early, so I should be able to drive up and compost at least some of my bags while it's still light out.  We shall see.

Well, My Weekend Of Gigs Is Over ...

... and if you count waking up early and finally walking into my home after the Vikings Game, my 20 3/4-hour day finally wrapped up around a quarter to 3.  For a second I thought strike would wrap up early, but then a half-dozen of us were asked to go outside and wrap cable, and that's how I got to getting to my car in the parking ramp a bit past 2:30.

With all that said, my fear of arduous manual labor were a bit exaggerated.  Oh, sure, I wish I could've just left after the Game was over, and working three hours with my hands is still hard.  But you know what made the work tolerable?  The camaraderie.  Me and these hired hands talked about everything to pass the time.  Better yet, that half-dozen of us built a rapport between ourselves, an us-versus-the-world mentality that broke down voluminous tasks so that we could all do a little bit, and easily solved difficult tasks where each of us concentrated on just one part of the problem.  Those were good people, and I'll miss them greatly.

And the more I think about it, the more I believe I won't have time to move all my stuff out once next Monday rolls around, even though my parents aren't coming home for another dozen days or so.  I am busy most days next week, and there is a lot of stuff that, frankly, I think I'll be resigned to just chucking into bags and hauling off to my storage unit.  There's other chores to do, like taking the leaves to the composting site or my laundry, that need to be done as well, and those things, as well as moving back all of my stuff, need to be done on the days I have free.

Gosh, this is getting to be a more daunting task that I feared.  And I have to go sleep now because I'll be working 19 hours straight!

Yeah, Tomorrow's Gonna Suck

I think I'm still doing it for the money, but pulling a hard gig lugging stuff around after a full day at work is something I think I want to tell myself I can still do.  Always better to be wanted than not.  Nevertheless, after pulling in almost a half-day shift yesterday for the Gophers, I am absolutely frightened over how I will get through tomorrow night's Vikings game.  Sleep will help; I got a full night's one just now, I might tuck in a nap this afternoon/evening, and I'll probably get another one at work tomorrow.  But we are required to help pack things up after the game, and that is usually a few hours, at least.  I won't be back home until, maybe, 2 in the morning.  And now only am I working a full shift tomorrow, I'm doing so Tuesday as well.  It's a full week for me at work and beyond a full week when it comes to work, and right now, I feel like I am going to drop dead on my feet.

Wish me luck!

Hit Head Hard (Scheduled Post)

I hit my head real hard on the edge of my trunk door.  I thought it had went up all the way, but it sometimes hang at less than all the way up (and sometimes it sags back down -- maybe the hydraulics need to be checked), and I didn't see that was the case when I parked at the gas station to get my free Oreos, and so, when I went to close it, I smacked the crown of my head against the door.  Hard.

I think I'm OK.  But if I die in my sleep because a blood vessel in my brain burst or something, well, you heard it here first.

No Motivation

And it will be, for the most part.  I work as a gopher (ironically enough) today/Friday and tomorrow/Saturday, and then on Monday.  Since I go for things, it'll be long hours, and I mean long.  I haven't done this position in a long while, and right now, the bad memories of waking up in the middle of the night, seeing the sun rise while I'm at the compound, then hauling tons of stuff after Games at the U. and at U. S. Bank Stadium fill me with dread.  I have to wake up early today/Friday and tomorrow/Saturday, and will need to stay very late Monday, and I am not looking forward to it.  Maybe I'm too old for this.  But you know, until just now, I remembered I am doing this for the money.  So, possibly, money isn't such a motivator for me now.

On top of all that, I need to schlep all my stuff into storage soon.  I'm planning what's going on the next two weeks before they come home, and I think I have enough fun stuff I want to do the last week that next weekend basically is the drop dead date to clean the house to something that looks decent.  It's not going to be spick-and-span.  My worry is what I did tonight, which was nothing because I took a nap once I came home and then watched TV the rest of the night.  I am not even close to getting motivated to go through my stuff.  I can see myself chucking all my crap into boxes last minute.

(sigh) time for bed

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

With both U. basketball teams starting their seasons, we've reached the busy part of The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  Because of so many clubs and that I'm tired af, I think I'm just going to whip through them:

#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -6).  These women are in like Flynn.  They went to Los Angeles and won both Games.  They were already in the NCAA Tournament, but this boosts their chances to move up on the S-Curve.

OK, I don't quite understand this.  The Gophers play Penn St. at Maturi Pavilion Friday, then play at Iowa Sunday afternoon.  Never seen a pair of one-offs like this before.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2).  A pair of 3-2 Wins at ranked Duluth.  They have this weekend off.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -3).  Yes, they lost at home to The New York Islanders.  But that was in Overtime, they won the other three Games this Week -- and all on the road, mind you -- and they're tied with Edmonton for Most Points In The Western Conference.  (BTW, they're up five Points in The Central Division.)  Most impressive of all, the Wild are doing this without Brock Faber, who could be back on the team soon.  This team is impressive because Jesper Wallstedt may be The Best Goalie In The NHL.  The sky could be the limit.

This Week: Home to San Jose and Tampa Bay (whom they're playing back-to-back), then at Montreal.

#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -7).  With Anthony Edwards out for an extended period of time, it looks like leadership responsibilities fall to the new guy on the squad, Lamelo Ball.  And, despite a Loss in San Antonio everyone saw coming, they're weathering the loss of their teammate well, cruising past The Bastard Buffalo Braves by 26 Friday, outlasting Milwaukee Monday and, most impressive of all, hanging tough and defeating The Bastard San Diego Rockets in Houston.  This Week will be a relatively light one: At New Orleans tomorrow/Friday night, hosting Utah Sunday evening.

#-5: United FC (Last Week: -5).  They continue their possibly-too-late late-season run by going to South Central and beating Laugh-See convincingly, 3-1.  (Joaquin Pereyra, with his Brace?  God bless you, you beautiful, beautiful man.)  They're undefeated in their last six Matches, and because of that they're still technically alive in the playoff race, which is something to behold.  Now, to actually get in the postseason.  They obviously have to win Saturday evening at home versus San Jose, and then they have to hope that things go pear-shaped for three of five XIs that are also fighting for the final three births in the West.  Again, probably not.  But we all put this club out of their (and our) misery after the World Cup ended, and they've chose to fight instead.  Gotta respect that.

#-6: Gopher men's basketball (NEW SEASON!).  The male ballers started 2026-7 with a 35-Point beatdown of North Dakota at Williams Arena Monday night.  I have no idea how good they are projected to be.  All I know is that St. Thomas comes to Dinkytown Friday, and then they will visit Cincinnati Monday.  

#-7: Gopher women's basketball (NEW SEASON!).  The Gopher team that reached last Year's Sweet Sixteen began their new season with a 20-Point cruise past Harvard at the Barn Monday evening.  Bright start despite the devastating loss of wunderkind Tori McKinney, who suffered an ACL tear in practice and is out for the rest of the season.  How will they survive?  Who knows?

This screening Week: At Marquette Saturday afternoon (a rare visit by a BcS school to a non-BcS-affiliated establishment), then home to Southern Tuesday.

#-8: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  A Shootout Loss and an Overtime Win, both at home vs. Penn St.

I remember the graphic being put up during Friday's contest: Minnesota is in the middle of a nine-Game homestand.  I've never heard of that before.  The fifth and sixth Matches are tonight/Thursday night and Saturday night against ... well-well-well, Wisconsin, the top-ranked team in the country.

#-9: Gopher football (Last Week: -1).  Fuckin A, man, they had 'em.  The defending national champion Indiana Hoosiers were the opponent, and the Gophers were in Bloomington, and they had the then-fourth-ranked team in the nation on the ropes.  But the kicker for the Hoosiers, who was only 1-of-3 Saturday afternoon (and that one made Field Goal was from only 21 Yards), nailed one from 60 Yards to send the tilt to Overtime.  Indiana's backup Quarterback (the starter got benched) threw a Pass for a Touchdown on the first play in OT, and Minnesota couldn't answer.  Frankly, by all rights, the Gophs should have pulled the upset.  Alas, they have another chance to make College Football Nation notice when they host UCLA this/Saturday afternoon.

#-10: Vikings (Last Week: 0).  Another sterling performance turned in by Brian Flores and the Vikes' D (I don't know for sure; I didn't see it because I fell asleep for pretty much the whole Game), but this time the Vikes' O couldn't hold up their end and they lose for the first time all Year, 19-14, at Detroit.  It's not all bad.  For one, I think a defeat is good because that focuses a team to fix what went wrong.  But the problem, as well as the reason I have the Vikings ranked lower than the Gopher gridiron outfit, is that what's wrong has been obvious for some time: The entire Vikings Offense.  It hasn't gotten out of second gear all season.  Aaron Jones, Sr. can do only so much at his age, and he gets bogged down in front of a line, the interior of which is holding on by threads.  That means Kyler Murray can't key off of that for play action.  Meanwhile, and I saw this in the Win over the Colts, he's missing a lot of throws.  I think he's a bit more accurate than Carson Wentz (and Murray will avoid Turnovers almost to a fault), but he hasn't proven he can have his guys climb on his back and lead them down the field to score.  I am tempted to put Wentz in there; he won't run (and Murray might be the team's best rusher if Jones continues to be hurt), but he'll at least be tall enough to not have his passes batted down.

And all of this could unravel if the Defense finally buckles.  Things can't last forever, and even though Buffalo is a tough opponent, losing to the Bills Monday night might bruise the team's aura a bit.

#-Infinity: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -4).  OK, so in the final Game of the 2026 women's soccer regular season, they got routed, 4-1, at Illinois.  Chris Henderson (he's a dude that follows soccer) now puts the U.'s chances of getting into the NCAA Tournament as very slim (my words, not his) because the Gophers did not qualify for that tournament and therefore don't have the chance to polish up their resumes by beating quality squads.  So ... that's it, and I feel pretty confident this race will not go to a run-off.  Don't think too hard.

Good Election Night, I Must Say

I remember going to the Herkimer at 2016.  I thought it was going to be an historic night.  Little did I nor anyone know that Election Night was instead going to be a harbinger of the hell that Trump (and Russia, and Republicans) will unleash on us for the next fucking decade.

In some ways, doing an Election Night party in 2024 was going to be less worse (I went to A Bar Of Their Own) because my heart was ripped out of my chest eight years before, so I girded myself for the worst.  Then again, my heart was pounding out of my chest.  And when the good news I wished for didn't come that night, I left for home fearing the worst.  And it happened.

But tonight?  It kind of reminds me of Bauhaus at the 2018 midterms, when we all cheered when it was announced that Democrats took back control of the House of Representatives.  Except better, because Democrats have kicked ass in every corner of the nation at every minute of the night.  I was in South Minneapolis at a watch party last night, and we had reason after reason after reason to clap and cheer because the correct candidate won.  It is glorious, and honestly makes my heart light knowing that there's still good people in this country trying to fight for what's right and just.

Welp, playtime is over.  Mother told me last/Monday night they're coming home in a few weeks.

It was going to happen.  But it's never enough time.

And I'm stuck with all my stuff in the house.  I'm glad I have the time I think I have, but there's so much to go through throw back in storage ... will it be enough?

(sigh, depression)