Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: June 2026

A very, very good month.  This month largely ditches the tanktop-with-bikini-top disappointment (I make one prime exception) and just has women in bikinis, the way God intended.  And of the ten this month, there are seven bomb-ass women I want to point out.  That might be a record!

In seventh place is Carlie, who has long brown hair that almost reaches her waist.  She is wearing a blue two-piece (and her bikini bottoms have squiggly ties).  She's posing next to a running shower, which kind of sucks because the water and her hands cupping the water coming out of the shower obscures what appears to be a solid body.  Mostly, though, I am listing her because she works out of Fairview Heights, Ill., a place I've been to a few times.  If I ever get the courage to vacation down in the St. Louis area any time this year, I'll go down and try and get an autograph from her.

In sixth place is Kate, hailing from Albuquerque, N.M.  Black hair and a turquoise two-piece bikini.  Not digging her posing at a 45-degree angle to the camera, and her smile is, uh, not a smile.  But she is tugging on the piece of bikini between her tits, and that always turns me on.

In fifth place is Toronto's Sara.  Blonde sporting a deep blue two-piece, she's acting like she's pulling the tie in front of her bikini top.  Have to note that her figure is more alike your normal woman not your typical Hooters waitress.  And that's something to note, and to encourage.  She may have a fuller figure, but she's still a babe, and I think it's brave of her to pose for the Hooters swimsuit calendar because she had to know that it is unconventional for someone who looks like her to appear here.

In fourth place is Mikayla, out of Pelham, Ala.  Pure blonde whose wavy hair reaches below her breasts, she is wearing a black two-piece bikini.  Her whole package is great.  But what is most beguiling about her is her toothy smile.  It's kind of really sexy, you know?

In third place is Anna, from Grand Prairie, Tex.  Her blonde hair with dark roots reach all the way down to her hips.  She sports a magenta two-piece with these beads all over.  She's posing at 45 degrees, which ain't all that hot.  But she shows some dynamism by putting her right hand on her head.  Best of all, she's showing underboob; I don't I've ever seen that from a Hooters server in the calendar before.

In second place is Chyna, working out of Fort Lauderdale Beach, Fla.  This gorgeous beauty with long, straight black hair is laying down on the edge of a lake or sea or ocean.  Don't see much of her boobs, but we get to see a fine shot of her ass in her thong, and that qualifies her automatically for the top spot in this list ...

... or it would if that rule wasn't superseded by my first rule.  But it is.  In first place is Alyse of the gone but never forgotten Mall Of America Hooters, so out of provinciality/tribalism, I have to put her first.  To her aesthetic credit, she is wearing a barebelly Hooters-branded tank top and a lavender bikini bottom, and she looks cute.  Also, I have seen her in person a couple times when I bought calendars at the restaurant (although, ironically, never when she was actually working there), and trust me, the hottie with long and straight light brown hair is a spinner!

So, congratulations to Alyse and all the other hot women for June '26.  No worries -- I have already touched myself to all of you!!

Oh Yeah, This Is A Lazy Day

I got home last night from watching a World Cup Tripleheader and, after taking the minivan out to dump my trash and to deliver some mail, I promptly fell asleep around, I think, midnight or 12:30.  I woke up around 7, lolled in bed, fell back asleep around 9, then woke up just in time for Morocco-Canada.

Took a nap from around 2:45 till around 3:30.  You'd think I would have enough time to water the plants, but since I watered yesterday, I don't feel the pressure to, even though I'm staying in the whole day.

I have decided to take a "no sweat" mindset today.  Totally relaxed.  Happy Independence Day!

Never-Ending Tea

I continued my World Cup-watching sojourn around the cities last/Thursday night at this new Mediterranean place for Switzerland-Algeria.  I saw it was a restaurant that was going to show Matches.  Unfortunately, that is not quite the case.

First of all, as I peered into the restaurant right after parking, their TV was not tuned to that.  Instead, their TV(s) was/were being used for their menu.  I don't know if the owners of the restaurant also own the Yemeni coffee place right next to it, but they were showing the Game on their outdoor patio.  Sold.  Plus, I heard good things about this place, so this was a good time to try it out and try something I've never tried before.

Well, the victuals and libations were great but the atmosphere wasn't.  Well, the Match-watching wasn't.  For some damn reason, the TV was using a stick or a streamer that tuned in to not Fox Sports 1 or Telemundo but the Arabic feed for BeIn, which I guess holds the rights to the World Cup in the Arab world.  Why they just didn't bleepin' get satellite is beyond me, because this feed or stick or streamer or television set had this nasty habit of cutting out and reverting to audio every five minutes, and the only way to restore the picture was to use the remote control and hit a button.  The first time this happened the people on the patio watching the Game were scrambling, and by the time we got the video feed back, Switzerland scored what eventually became the Match-winner.  I was going to stay the whole Match, but I was done after the First Half.  Well, the mosquitos biting me didn't help, either.

The problem with watching World Cup Games in restaurants and pubs is that I feel compelled to give them business by buying food and drink.  So I have bought a lot of food and drink, including yesterday/Thursday.  I got out of work at a very decent time, so I had the chance to see Portugal-Croatia in its entirety, and I decided to go to this Mexican place to see the whole thing.  And since I was staying for two hours, I bought a plate of barbacoa chilaquiles with a Corona before the First Half, then a cup of esquites with a Coke for the Second Half.  I got so damn full after that, but I was determined to try out this new place and challenge my palate with "ethnic" food and drink.

And, of course, my stomach is distended because of it.  I settled for Dubai chocolate cake, which has been a cliche for two years now, but it was good.  So was the Adeni tea that I had ... er, am still having.  As of press time, I'm still not done with the cup.  It's a medium-sized cup, something akin to a medium from Caribou.  And while I sometimes need to finish up the mochas that evening, the only times I haven't finished drinks like that is when I forgot, and then I have to drink quick in the morning.

That is not necessarily the case with this.  My stomach might have been telling me it couldn't, um, stomach any more liquids after eating at the Mexican place.  Also, I have to say that Adeni team was damn hot.  I got it early in the First Half, and even as the Game went to Halftime, the cup was hot to the touch.  The hot and humid weather can't explain that.  But I got home to drink this tea while watching from my bedroom for the Second Half.  I tried to drink it all because it was only warm at this point.  But by God, I couldn't get done with this.  Swear to God this is a bottomless cup of Adeni tea.  If this were a a mocha from Caribou, chances are I could finish it.  But there was still more, and still more, and still more, no matter how much I drank.

Finally, I remembered that I juiced the other half-lemon before going to the Mexican restaurant, so I needed to make myself a cocktail (a sidecar) to use the lemon juice.  So that means I have tea left over.  Oh, and I still have coffee from work yesterday/Thursday left over, too.  And I still need to drink my sidecar, but right now I am sipping only because I am damn full.

I checked the World Cup schedule for next week.  Since we're getting into the really important Games, the number of them obviously dwindles, and they'll be played in the afternoons when I'm working.  USMNT is playing Monday night.  Other than that, I do not need to go out and eat and drink to watch soccer the rest of next week until next Saturday.  Maybe I will stop eating and drinking so much then.  And hopefully I will have drank all the tea by then, too.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  In an extremely light schedule this screening Week (I think it's because the Commissioner's Cup Final was on Tuesday and they wanted to clear the rest of the league sked to center that), the Lynx on their only Game, 85-77 over The Bastard Detroit/Tulsa Shock in Dallas.  They are a very good team, but right now, the Lynx have their number ... just like maybe The Bastard Utah Starzzz, New York, and maybe Atlanta and Washington have the Lynx's.

Regardless, they still have The Best Record In The WNBA, and even though they might not need it, the cavalry still came this Week.  After long injuries and rehab, both Napheesa Collier and Dorka Johasz (the latter actually sat out last Year because she was too tired from playing overseas for the 2024-5 season) starting practicing.  I don't have any reason to believe neither player is not on schedule, so if they progress like they should, their fresh legs should be back in time to terrorize the paint against every opponent for the rest of the season.  Thank Buddha; I think part of the reason they petered out both previous postseasons is they were fatigued at the end.  Getting full effort from, at worst, The Third-Best Player In The W -- when the Lynx are tops in the league without her and Juhasz -- in the stretch run is like trading for a blockbuster player.  Actually, I kind of feel bad for Natasha Howard, the 4/5 both Collier and Juhasz will take minutes from.  She's revitalized her career to the point she might be named an All-Star at noon today/Thursday.

The club and league get back into the swing of things this Week.  There's a big one in New York tomorrow/Friday night, then they have a home-and-home vs. The Bastard Orlando Miracle (here Monday, there Wednesday).

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -2).  I don't want to completely ignore the Twinks.  After all, they went 2-1 in both series they played this screening Week, home versus Colorado and at Houston.  I just don't have anything else to say about them, mostly because I've been World Cup-pilled.  Well, I believe that Byron Buxton has been largely injury-free for the second Year in a row (knock on wood), and even though I wish we could've seen this level of health early in his career, better late than never.  He's the squad's surefire All-Star.

In the Bronx to take on the Yankees this weekend for three, then home to play Cleveland for three beginning on Tuesday.

I was going to blog post about how I'm getting fucked by my health insurance card, but my mind is so tired right now that I don't have the mental capabilities of going through my thoughts.  What I really, really want to do right now is sleep ... which isn't something I'm getting right now because my evenings in which I would use to catch up on rest I am instead watching the World Cup.  Oh God ... the headache I'm feeling right now is a sign I need to go to sleep.  So that's what I'm going to do now, and my well thought-out blog posts I'll blog post another day.

I still need to reconcile the money I spent for May.  I want to do it before the next month is out, so that means I have today/Tuesday to finish it all.  But I just started by compiling all the EWRs for the month in my day planner and my hand is tired.  And I still have to add everything up and write down why I spent how much I spent.  And I have to work early today/Tuesday.

Again, I want to do this all before the day turns.  Wish me luck.

I was going to blog post about me deciding to attend the Women's PGA Championship at Hazeltine (tl;dr in case I don't ever get back around to talking about it: I'm glad I went) or the time Friday I went downtown just to watch the World Cup and a growing party just fucking got in my way.  But before I left for Hazeltine yesterday/Sunday I juice half a lemon and got 35 mL out of it.  That meant I had to drink two cocktails, and since I got back so late I had only till 9:30 p.m. (I juiced them around 11:30 a.m. and I think you have up to ten hours before the juice starts to taste bleh) to use them, and I realized while watching Red Sox-Yankees on NBC that it was past 9, so I made and downed a lemon drop martini and then quickly followed that up with a between the sheets, and not only do I have a pounding headache, I think I may have poisoned myself.

So, to summarize, that is what I'm blog posting about ... while also providing a possible cause of death in case I don't wake up in the morning.

Golf Or Soccer?

Tonight was where my paralysis is at its worst.  I don't know what to do between two things I want to do, and the variables are either so even or so unknowable that I am completely a waste.  Since I got home (early) from World Cup viewing I took a nap and surfed the Internet.  All because I cannot decide if I want to drive all the way to Chaska to watch the Women's PGA Championship in Hazeltine, or watch the first Round of 32 World Cup Matchup between Canada and South Africa at this new Mediterranean place close by me.

One of the main things I use to determine what I should do is figuring out the chances I'll be able to do it in the future.  While the World Cup is every four Years (and I'm just watching it on TV), who knows the next time a golf major comes to town.  Using that factor, I should be going to the Women's PGA, and it's a no-brainer.

But there are a lot of things that are making me balk.  One is the weather.  It's supposed to get very humid starting today/Sunday, with dewpoints bursting through the seventies in the afternoon.  I am not a fan of humid weather, and I don't know if I can stomach sweating through my clothes for a few hours (at least).  Compare that with when I went to Sunday Singles at the Ryder Cup, which was also held at Hazeltine.  That was held in late September, and there was no heat or the humidity to contend with then.

What may be more of an annoyance, however, is that I don't necessarily find watching golf in person all that enjoyable.  I remember I went to the 3M Classic (when it was part of the Seniors Tour, not the current 3M Open for the PGA) a few times because it was at the course close by and it was free.  That was in the dog days of summer, and my goodness, it was hot.  I was able to endure, but it kept dawning on me that I'm doing a lot of walking around and a lot of sweating, and it overpowered any joy in watching great golfers play.  Also, and this may be too obvious, but golf courses are big.  You have to walk miles if you want to watch the whole thing.  And I don't know the first thing of the layout of Hazeltine.  Sure, there will be maps of the course, but I'm bad at directions.  Also, I don't know who I want to follow.  Should I just park myself at the 18th green?  What if the tournament is decided before then?  And how about the sightlines?  Will I be able to see anything besides the backs of people's heads?

Still, it's a major.  And while I won't know exactly how it'll feel tomorrow, I kept checking the forecast and it has said, for at least the past few days, that temperatures will hit 80 in the afternoon and the sky will be cloudy.  Considering the dewpoint, if the forecast called for sun, no way would I go.  I would not be able to deal with it being that humid and having the Sun beat down on me.  But overcast?  Yeah, it'll be 80 degrees and it'll feel swampy.  But I won't feel like I'm frying from the Sun's rays.  I might have a chance to at least tough it out.

There are other determinations, too.  If I'm going to watch the soccer Match, the place is so, so close.  I could drive the minivan and give my car a rest.  And speaking of my car -- I finally had the chance to check the oil in my car inbetween Games yesterday/Saturday, and the damn stick was dry.  I poured half a quart of oil and checked later, and then I saw some oil on the dipstick.  But it kind of freaked me out, and that is making me think I should give my car a break.  Finally, I really, really do need to do chores (going through my stuff and washing dishes mostly), and I won't do it if I have a 40-minute drive back from Carver County and am too pooped to do anything once I get home.

Still, it's a major.  So I am going to sleep on it and, depending on when I wake up and what the sky looks like and how hot it feels, I'll either make the drive to watch the best female golfers in the world play in my neck of the woods or I'll just puss out and watch soccer while eating shawarma ten minutes away from me.  These are the days where I want some deity to give me a sign that definitely tells me to do this or that.  Why can't I have that?

One Dollar Fewer And I'll Be Killed By A Dog

So I just got my hair cut from some dog lady who had a sign that basically said she loved her dog, but her customer service was kind of meh.  I tipped her a buck less than I otherwise would, but beyond the meh service, I tipped less because these guys raised their prices by another buck.  I swear it was, like, $15 around the time of the pandemic.  Anyway, when you tip, they have buttons for five, seven and ten bucks.  But since I tipped only $4, I had to hit the custom button.  So I'm scared that she noticed and she's pissed.

I am so afraid that I forgot to get my silver-lined loofah from the master bathroom when I took a shower in my bathroom.  I also hit my head against the rail that's still in the shower, and I spat on my foot while I was in there.  I'm so afraid because she might know where I live, and might sic her dog on me.  Yeah, the dog she devotes her life to is Cujo.  Sucks to be me that I got my hair cut by someone with shitty customer service and Cujo for a pet.

World Cup-Pilled

Man, I am so balls deep in the World Cup I can't stay up that late.  Like now -- I'm so tired at 2 in the morning that I care barely stay awake to do this blog post.  This tiredness creeping earlier and earlier into my night is somewhat disconcerting.  But hey, if it means a more restful rest, I'm all for it!