Two Changes Of Plans

So I was plotting out which days I would eat out and which I would stay in and eat leftovers.  Specifically, because I wanted to finally pay for limes and lemons for the cocktails I am going to make this weekend, and since they're discounted on Tuesdays, I would eat out today/Tuesday and, to make up for it, eat in tomorrow/Wednesday.

But those plans blew up.  While at work, I got this text from ****e saying that she and ***i* are having a party tomorrow/Wednesday.  Then, she texted ominously, "Last chance."  Last chance for what?  Will I not be invited anymore if I don't come?  Are they hanging up the wanking lifestyle?  Is one of the two women going to die soon?  I don't know what she meant by that, but it has been a long, long time since I got serviced by either babe, so I decided I am going to this house party on tomorrow/Wednesday.  And since I'm spending money then, I might as well eat out then, too.

Then, I got another text, this time from my aunt.  She wanted to know when I was going to be home because she made food for me.  Then I remembered that around the Chinese/Lunar New Year, she has always come over to give me food she made for the holiday.  Very sweet of her, and it allows me to eat in several days over the next week.  And it would make sense, then, that one of those days would be today/Tuesday.  It's a lot of food, and I should get on it in an effort to eat it all before it goes bad.  And yes, this blows up my idea of getting citrus for my cocktails, but hey, I can make cocktails without lemon or lime juice, and besides, there's a good chance I will be out both days this weekend.

So, to sum up, I went from eating out tonight/Tuesday night to staying in, and I went from staying in tomorrow/Wednesday night to eating out.  And for once, these changes aren't frustrating to me.  It just necessitates a change of plans -- two changes of plans, in fact.

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: January 2026

Almost the first full month where I have the Hooters calendar back up on my wall so I can see it every day.  So I think I can say with some authority that ... this may be one of the worst months I have ever seen.  Again, I'm not saying that all the servers for this month or ghastly to look at.  But I can only pick out two of the dozen women here for special recognition, and frankly, the babe in second I am pointing out based on a guess.  The other pictures don't do anything for me, sorry to say.

The waitress in second place is Madison, from Weston, Fla.  Wavy dark blonde hair that ends at the bottom of her chest.  Her attire makes her look like a company girl.  She has orange bikini bottoms and is wearing a black Hooters crop top. It's the kind I used to see on Hooters women way back in the day, where it cuts off high on the waist so it shows off the Hooters girl's midriff.  That would be sexy as fuck to see in the restaurant, but for swimwear it looks a bit overdressed.  I am taking it on faith, however, that she is not wearing anything underneath the crop, which kind of makes up for size of the top.

And in first place is Emily, of Hampton, Va.  Wavyer dark blonde hair that reaches belly height, she is wearing a black-and-yellow two-piece.  Posing almost fully at the camera, she places her left hand against a stood-up surfboard while her right hand pulls up on her bikini bottom.  She's got a nice body, and I love her wide smile.  She's fucking gorgeous.

And, that's it.  So congratulations to Emily for winning.  And no worries -- I have already masturbated to these two!

Super-Specific Predictions For Super Bowl LX

I am having a hard time really digging into this Game.  I think it's a product of not devoting enough time to it, but I can also see an array of outcomes, from a Seattle Seahawks blowout to a New England Patriots Win at the buzzer.  And I guess it's a testament to how good this contest could be ... or, could not.

I believe the consensus (and I think there's a consensus) that this will be a low-scoring affair.  The Seahawks' Defense is elite, probably an all-time unit, while the Patriots apparently are rounding into form.  New England, according to writers breaking this team down, are rounding into form on Offense as well, but I still am skeptical because of two reasons: Drake Maye is in just his second Year as a pro, and the left side of the Pats' Offensive Line (in particular Left Tackle Will Campbell) appears to be the biggest liability of any unit or sub-unit in the Super Bowl.  (I still believe that New England's easy schedule in the Regular Season is indicative that they've been lucky to get this far, but analytics people, using recency bias, shows that they have played well in the playoffs, where obviously the teams are all good, so maybe I should drop that).

And yet, and this might be my Vikings fandom talking, I don't know if Sam Darnold is going to have a good game.  The interior of the Seahawks' Offensive Line is somewhat suspect as well (in particular Right Guard Anthony Bradford), and the Patriots probably will find a way to exploit that and make Darnold look vulnerable.  Finally, New England Offensive Coordinator Josh McDaniels is a mastermind, and given two Weeks to engineer a game plan, I have to believe he's going to get his Offense going and scoring.  How much?  I don't know.

With all that being said, I have super-specific predictions I am obligated to give:

1) Darnold won't have a good Game.  He'll throw for, oh, 225 Yards, even though he will score two Touchdowns -- one to Jaxson Smith-Njigba, one to ... you know, I'm going to pass up first-string Tight End A. J. Barner and say that backup TE Elijah Arroyo receives the other TD.

2) I am not sure if Seattle will rely on its run Game, even though the Offense is predicated on it.  The injury to Zach Charbonnet might drag down the Seahawks' Offense.  Still, I think Seattle will rush for 75 Yards.

3) As much as I think the Patriots will try and double him, I think Jaxson Smith-Njigba has a productive night.  He'll catch for over 100 Yards and get that Touchdown, and those statistics will pop in what I think will be a cagey affair.

4) Over on the other side, I raise one final wrinkle that makes me lean in one direction: Drake Maye is working with a hurt throwing shoulder.  He's off the injury report for Super Bowl LX, but I still think it's going to be an issue.  He'll throw an Interception.  He will also throw for 250 Yards and throw for one Touchdown.

5) I also think New England relies on its running Game.  The Seahawks "Dark Side" Defense has been so good because they have been able to rush the Quarterback without committing more than four players, thus giving them plenty of tacklers in the back in case an offensive player gets loose.  To counter that, and to give Maye time to grow into the Game, McDaniels will have the Patriots running the ball.  And I think they'll have some success: 100 Yards and a Touchdown by TreVeyon Henderson.

6) This will be a tight affair.  In fact, it could be a slog, especially in the First Half.  Both Offenses have feasted on the big play, and so both Ds will do their damndest to prevent that from happening.  Expect a lot of runs and checkdowns, on both sides.  And still, most likely when it comes to third-and-longs, both Defenses will get to both Darnold and Maye.  I expect, in total, ten Sacks.

7) I also expect that because of fatigue and the desperation to win the Game, things will open up.  There will be way more Yards gained in the Second Half than in the First.  Logic dictates that there will be more Points scored after Halftime, too.  But what I will say the pivot point of the Super Bowl is an Interception thrown by ... Drake Maye, and it'll be returned all the way for a Touchdown.  That will happen at some point in the Second Half.

That's all I got.  I was hoping to read more breakdowns of the Super Bowl, and I really want to be an aficionado, but I couldn't get through Bill Barnwell's behemoth on ESPN.com, and I stopped halfway through.  Like I said, I'm busy.  But if you have time, read it.  The Xs and Os are wonderful.

But, with the information I can process now, my prediction for Super Bowl LX is: Seattle 24, New England 19.  If I were a betting man, I would wager on the Under of 45 1/2.  (I have seen Seattle -4 1/2 pretty much since both teams won their Championship Games.)  Smith-Njigba wins MVP.  And the football team of a city I really like gets its second football title.

Those Motherfuckers

Today I woke up around 11:30.  I think my body told me I only needed six hours of sleep.  But, I think I was trying to loll around my bed to get more shuteye anyway.

I couldn't.  I was woken up by a car horn being honked incessantly.  I think they say that when you hear a horn getting honked repeatedly, that means that those people are not only around, but they're about to take someone.

Those sons-of-bitches are still here, goddammit, and they might finally be reaching our street.

---

Not too long ago, my phone blew up.  Emergency text.  Some kid is missing.  But this is no Amber Alert, at least I don't think.  The missing child is a Latino boy.

I saw on the tracker website that an observer saw activity at an address close to the one given on the alert.  Poor boy made a run for it, I reckon.  I don't know how he's going to survive because this is the one cold night we'll have for at least the next couple weeks.  But if there are gods, let him run free.

Bored Me Napping, Then Shopping For Big-Ticket Items

Braced myself for another long day at work yesterday/Friday ... but it wasn't; it was actually tame, and very tame compared to Thursday ... and yet I have to brace myself for today/Saturday, because my bosses said that today/Saturday could bring in a bunch of work which I don't understand why it couldn't have come yesterday/Friday, and so I'm coming in to work as soon as I wake up.

So my plan of staying in today/Saturday has blown up, but hey, I am getting beaucoup overtime this week, so I'm not too upset.  Still, I wondered what I would do once I got home (on-time, which I did not expect) yesterday/Friday.  I thought I would be awake enough to start on the leftover pizza that I had decided I would eat, but the setting sun convinced me to take a nap first.  If I wasn't tired, I'd pop up early, and work on the pizza before the sports Games I wanted to watch would start at 7.

I crawled into bed before 6.  I woke up a couple minutes past 9.  Didn't expect to do that.  I thought I didn't have time to eat pizza and should pivot to spaghetti, which I planned to eat today/Saturday, but I am getting Pizza Hut to watch for the Super Bowl, so I went through with the pizza.

Yeah, nothing exciting.  So, in my bored state, I was reading up on the latest on how these assholes continue to plague and besiege our state.  One person believes that the announcement earlier this week that they're withdrawing troops was just a way to get people in the state and the national news media off their backs.  Then, the next step is for the remaining pricks to go hard not necessarily after non-Whites but observers that have made their loud objections to what is going on here a state-wide issue.  Intriguing, and I can see that that works, and is working now.

And then I clicked on a link recommending the best gas masks to buy.  If I have to physically commit to this struggle, I'll probably get tear-gassed, so I might as well prepare, right?  I looked through not one but two websites dedicated to the best gas masks, and me being a thoroughly-researching consumer, I think I settled upon one.  And, to make things even more tantalizing, the gas mask is on sale.  (I'm not going to link the websites that reviewed the masks or the company that sells the one that appears to be the top-rated one, just in case they're snooping around here.)  I think maybe I'm sounding too paranoid, but dammit, the thing's on sale.  I'll wait till tomorrow/Sunday; if I remember, and if it's still on sale then, I think I'll buy one.

What I did pull the trigger on is a new robe.  After seeing the two website review gas masks, I went to the website that does nothing but review consumer products (to think gas masks are a consumer product -- what a world we live in), The Wirecutter.  And bored me went down another rabbit hole, to their review of robes.  Now, I have thought about buying a robe for the past, oh, few years.  On the one hand I didn't think I needed one; either I would wrap myself in a towel and just hang out on my bed in the nude, or, if I'm alone in the house, I'd just waltz around naked.  But there is a limbo state where you are not totally dry but still want to putz around in the house without your man bits hanging out -- well, unless you want to open up your robe to thrust out your dick.  I'd reserve that occasion when I want to surprise one of my stripper girlfriends.

Anyway, the main obstacle to buying a robe, believe it or not, is price.  The ones The Wirecutter recommends are routinely in the triple digits.  One hundred dollars for a damn robe?!  I may have seen one for $90, but even that's expensive.  However, when I am bored, I am weak.  And thus I was ripe for the picking when I saw one of the recommended robes being sold for about 30% off if I use a promo code tied in with the website.  At $65 ... well, it's still expensive, but it'll be as cheap as these robes will ever get.  Also, I didn't plan on spending any money tonight, but the company said I could pay through PayPal, and my stupid brain has convinced myself into thinking that is not real money, so I bought it under the illusion that I haven't really paid anything today.

So I threw my sleep pattern off last night, I bought a robe, and tomorrow/Sunday I think I'll be buying a gas mask.  This is what bored me does.  Now, off to bed.

First really bad day in The Fourth Department in a long, long while.  I don't quite know what happened.  We may or may not be backed up at work, but I thought that because Wednesday was bad, yesterday/Thursday would be better.  It was not; it was way worse.  I had double the forms I had to deal with, and I was beset as soon as the day started.

I spent eleven hours at work, and I still didn't complete all the work I wanted to.  But I had to call it quits at some point, plus I planned on picking up Jimmy John's on my way home to watch NFL Honors, and I already set up a pick-up time.  I'm just glad I got home to watch the whole awards show which, to be honest, was kind of shambolic.

You know, I had arranged a wank sesh with *****y last/Thursday night.  Work would have prevented me from getting back home in time to see her.  But like she has done on occasion, she asked for a delay.  She seems to have somewhat outlandish reasons to postpone, and this time around she said her son got rear-ended in his car.  Sure, whatever.  But I'm actually glad we didn't have any sexytime because then I could stay and work.  If I didn't stay late, I'd have to do it all in the morning, and who knows what other work would come today/Friday for which I too would have to stay late for.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Wild (Last Week: -3).  This has been as great a sporting Week for local sports in a long, long time, and maybe ever.  It's a shame any team has to bring up the rear in this Week's survey.  And it's incredibly difficult to decide who should lead the WMNSS because, seriously, the top three and even four squads have had screening Weeks that deserve Positive Numbers, let alone the top spot.

I decided that the Wild gets to be on top because of quantity and where this run puts them.  The club ran the table this Week, winning all four of their Games.  Yes, their last two went to Overtime, but they have an overall winning streak of five Games, they are keeping ahead of The Bastard North Stars for second place in the Central, and even though The Bastard Quebec Nordiques have the most Points in the National Hockey League, as of press time, Minnesota has the second-most, and they are only five Points behind Colorado.  It's kind of a shame, in fact, that they have to sit for the next three Weeks due to the Olympic break.  And remember that the Wild have eight players playing in Milan-Cortina, four for Sweden (most notably Joel Eriksson Ek), three for the U. S. (most notably Matt Boldy, who had a Hat Trick in last/Wednesday's OT Win in Nashville ... in The First Period), and Nico Sturm for Germany.  The Wild's fortunes could change if one of two of these guys come back injured.

By the way, the squad's first two Games coming back from the break are at The Bastard Quebec Nordiques and at The Bastard Winnipeg Jets-by-way-of-Phoenix Coyotes.  No easing back into the resumption of their schedule.

#0: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -5).  Again, the Wild winning five in a row and being the second-best team in the NHL were the deciding factors for the local hockey team taking the top spot.  But (and this will sound quite hokey) I am very, very proud of what the then-seventh-ranked Gopher wrestling team did Friday: Go to Iowa and upset their historic rivals, the then-fourth-ranked Hawkeyes, 21-16.  It was the first time the U. has beaten Iowa in twelve Matches, and it's also the first time the Gopher grapplers have beaten them in Iowa City since 2014.

This was a haymaker of a Dual.  Six of the ten Matches were not Decisions, meaning the winner got more than three Points for their school.  The deciding factors came at 149 lbs., where 24th-ranked Drew Roberts upset the Hawkeye's Ryder Block, who was ranked 16th at that weight, 4-2, and then at 157, where Minnesota's Charlie Millard, ranked 21st, pulled off a Major Decision on #12 Jordan Williams, 13-3.  That gave the Gophers seven Points when they should not have expected any.  Truly, this is the first positive unexpected result I have seen from these young men since Brandon Eggum became Head Coach.

Yes, the upset Loss at home to South Dakota St. still stings.  But that was before Thanksgiving.  Is this a sign that these players are rounding into form in time for the NCAAs?  Road tests against the East Coast colleges (#15 Rutgers Friday, Maryland Sunday afternoon) should serve as a good barometer.

#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -7).  The results don't matter since the U. is still buried in the thirties in the NPI (in case you don't know, the PairWise is dead starting this season, long live the PairWise, replaced by the NCAA Percentage Index, or NPI).  But in a long and humbling Year as this, and especially in a gauntlet where the Golden Gophers were playing ranked Big Ten team after ranked Big Ten team, they finally stood up over the weekend and said, "We don't plan on you doing that to us."  "You" being then-seventh-or-eighth-ranked Wisconsin, whom Minnesota swept mercilessly at Mariucci, 4-1 Friday and, egad, 8-4 on Saturday.  Rivalry juices may have been flowing, but otherwise I cannot explain how in the hell did this young and inexperienced team just rise up and flog the ever-loving shit out of the Badgers.  It's great, but it's also inexplicable as all get-out.

And the gauntlet of playing eight Games against four conference teams ranked in the Top 10 is now over.  They host Ohio St. for a pair this weekend.

#-2: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -1).  I can't see how this club doesn't make The Big Dance.  They walloped a team that they should beat, Purdue, by 33 at Williams Sunday afternoon.  That's four in a row, and the last three were won by more than 20 Points.

Thursday's tilt at tenth-ranked Iowa might be a tall order.  Early Sunday afternoon's contest at Rutgers should not be.

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  Sometimes I don't get this team.  They went 3-1 this Week, but their lone Loss, a 137-128 defeat at Memphis on Monday that was the second of a two-Game series, happened because they came out flat and never got up off the mat.  Yet on the bright side: They throttled The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies by 17 Saturday; they defeated The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics, 123-111, beating the defending champs for the second time this season; and last/Wednesday night, they came back from a ten-Point deficit to begin the Fourth Quarter to defeat the Raptors in Toronto for the first time in 2004.

That is a lot of notable victories.  And whaddaya know, Minnesota is currently fifth in The Western Conference, only a half-Game ahead of seventh, but only a Game behind third.  They continue to give diehard pessimists like me reason to doubt they can get back to The Western Conference Finals for the third Year in a row, yet they are capable of momentous Wins and pulling a championship run.

Well, maybe a championship run.  Rumor has it that Tim Connelly, Basketball Operations President for the Wolves, is burning up the phone lines trying to land a big fish -- namely Giannis Antetokounmpo, the superstar who got The Milwaukee Bucks an NBA Championship but appears resigned to leaving the team that drafted him.  The T-Wolves dealt away Mike Conley, Jr., who once was the man who filled a weakness the team has to fill, Point Guard, which Conley could no longer fill because he's old and decrepit, so the club could get the cap space to possibly trade for Antetokounmpo so he could fill another weakness the team has to fill, scoring.  (By the way, Conley was traded to Chicago, who then traded him to Charlotte, and the Hornets appear willing to buy him out.  I don't get the rule, but since he got traded twice within a certain period, Conley could come back to Minnesota on a veteran's minimum contract.)  Unfortunately, the Bucks appear to be playing hardball.  They want draft picks, which the Timberwolves don't have, and it seems like they also want Jaden McDaniels, who may finally be rounding into form as the two-way monster the Wolves always imagined he would be.  Will the franchise push in all their chips to grab the brass ring this year?  If so, will it backfire on them?

One final Week before the All-Star break.  The Wolves face The Bastard Charlotte Hornets, The Bastard Buffalo Braves, The Bastard St. Louis Hawks, and Portland.  Fortunately, they face all four opponents at Target Center.

#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -6).  Kayden Mingo's spin-around, underhanded Lay-Up with one Second left in the Game broke a Tie and broke the Gophers' hearts as Penn St. won Sunday afternoon, 77-75.  Hey, what can you do?  Well, instead of writing themselves off in the face of tenth-ranked Michigan St., they came home to The Barn, took control early, and staved off one final Spartans run to notch a shock upset last/Wednesday night, 76-73!  This Win ultimately won't matter, but it's a nice feather in the cap, and I also think it's a sign that Niko Medved can coach.

Only one Game this screening Week: At home, vs. Maryland, Super Bowl Sunday afternoon.  This is a winnable Game.

#-5: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2).  And I feel bad because in some Weeks, getting a split versus a national blueblood is enough to put a team in the top spot of a Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  This is definitely not one of those Weeks, however.  And so I had to get picky about results.  Yes, the Gophers beat the top-ranked team in the country, Wisconsin, on Friday, but it was 3-2 in Overtime.  The Badgers came back the next afternoon and crushed the U. by a score of 6-1.  Compared to every other team in the Twin Cities who played, and the female icers had the least-impressive screening Week.  But beating the #1 is still a hell of an accomplishment.

And the Gophers are third in the country, behind Wisconsin (still #1) and Ohio St., of course.  This Week they do a second home-and-home with St. Thomas.  And like with the previous home-and-home in early December, they are playing Friday afternoon (there) and Saturday afternoon (here).

Well, Thanks For Telling Me, Amazon!

No joke, I spent a lot of the last 24 hours thinking about what I would do after work last/Tuesday night.  Combining my principles (or OCD) of trying to use only cash or credit cards a day and not making four trips in my car a day (three is fine, five is fine, four is not because four is an unlucky number), I was figuring out whether I should immediately drive home after work or go out and get groceries.

Beyond the OCD principles above, the thing that factored into my decision was that the measuring cup I bought that I was going to use as my jigger for cocktails.  Amazon said it'd arrive Monday, but it didn't.  If it had, I would have gone grocery shopping yesterday/Tuesday at the discount food store close by to pick up a lemon and a lime.  I would only go there yesterday/Tuesday because on Tuesdays everything is an extra 10% off.  And since I would have gone there, I would have gone to the ATM to pick up cash, probably get gasoline for my car, maybe get some fast food to eat both last/Tuesday night and a future day, and, oh yeah, buy more cocktail items like ginger ale and ginger beer.

But yet, I got to thinking at work.  Why buy a lemon and lime if I don't have the measuring cup?  What I do is slice one of them in half and squeeze them into the cup.  That does two things.  One, I can see how much juice I squeeze, and that dictates which cocktail I would make for myself.  Two, I hear that you leave out lemon and lime juice sitting out because it tastes better about four to ten hours after you squeeze it.  It's a waste buying them without getting the jigger first, especially since this is (I think) the second time Amazon moved the delivery date of the cup.  Amazon said that instead of Monday, it would arrive Friday, and in fact, if it didn't arrive on Friday, I could ask for a refund.

So why am I doing all this stuff yesterday/Tuesday?  I could do it, say, today/Wednesday.  I get out of work early because I'm cutting.  For fast food, I could go to the last Godfather's Pizza in the state, which is going to close on Saturday.  Assuming I leave early enough (and that may be in jeopardy because we have been asked to work overtime because the shipments are still playing catch-up), traffic both on the road and at the restaurant will be easier to deal with.  Meanwhile, I took out a rack of leftover ribs from the freezer to the refrigerator on Sunday.  I see on the Internet that leftovers in the fridge are good for about four days before they should be thrown away.  Why chance it and just eat the ribs yesterday/Tuesday when, by the way, I can watch an NBA Game on NBC?

So just going home it is!  And then, once I get home, I check the mailbox and see a package.  I was able to push my thumb into its middle, so it was the measuring cup.  It was supposed to come last week, then Monday, then Friday, and then for some dumb reason it came yesterday/Tuesday.  I thought I should check Amazon before I started my car at work, just in case, but I still blame Amazon for not getting the precise delivery date right.

But I stuck to my guns and went inside to eat ribs and watch basketball.  My plan on doing everything I thought I would do yesterday/Tuesday today/Wednesday after work is still mostly intact.  Well, besides getting the lemon and the lime, since it's not Tuesday anymore.  And I guess I can make do with the alcohol I have now, so the ginger beer and ale can wait.  I just hope nothing goes wrong, like me falling asleep at the wheel or getting detained on my way home.

Doesn't Take Much For My Fucking Mother To Push My Buttons

I needed to talk to her last/Monday night about bills that came in.  I thought everything was done.  But she called back.  First of all, she called back during the weather forecast I wanted to watch, so that perturbed me.  Second of all, she worried about some stupid detail that she told me to take care of, namely writing checks instead of going online and paying herself.  And finally, she insulted me by explaining something to me that I already know and was also not what I was talking about.  That is probably due to the language barrier, but also because this happens all the time, I naturally get defensive about her condescension.

And I was being a good boy food-wise up till then.  I didn't drink any coffee at work; instead, I had a hot cocoa (given to me by my former supervisor two or three years ago) in the morning and tea in the afternoon.  After shoveling the driveway, I went out to use a gift card at a really nice brewery for chicken wings and two 5-ounce glass of different beers (plus a half-filled 5-ounce glass for free ... er, double free!!)  I thought I controlled my eating yesterday/Monday.  And then My Fucking Mother talks down to me and I'm wolfing down Dot's BBQ pretzel sticks to fill the hole she punched into my gut, and I feel all fat again.  Goddamn her.

She wants me to write and send out the checks in the morning.  I'll do it later tonight instead.  Because she can fuck all the way off.

The Downside To Having A Neighbor Who's Looking Out For You

As I have told all of you, my sister's childhood best friend lives a couple houses down from me/us with her wife and their baby.  We text from time to time, but we have been in touch more since her mom passed in December.  I wanted to give her me and my family's sympathies, and then I wished her Happy Holidays, and then this fucking occupation from our goddamn Republican government began, and that is when I really started to text/bug her about sightings and, if need be, having each other's backs if the shit hits the fan.

She has a background in security, plus she has always been observant, so in the days when I got really scared about them patrolling our neighborhood and even our street, I felt, and feel, good that she will at the very least let me know if she sees something scary.  I have not been one to reach out and be friendly to neighbors, but if and when the time comes to band together, that is when it's beneficial, if not vital, to know who the people who live next and close to you are.

With all that said ... a man has needs, and for the first time since my parents finally skedaddled, I asked one of my stripper girlfriends, ******e, to come over and play with me.  She was late, of course, and this was when I came home from downtown watching the EPL after waking up early enough to see some soccer.  My body, with the help of the Bloody Mary I had, told me to rest while I waited for her.

I woke up to both a knock on the door and a buzz from my phone.  Naturally, I checked my phone first.  There was a text -- not from ******e, whom I asked to let me know when she was close, but from my sister's best friend.  She said she saw a car pull up to the driveway, and did I expect it.  And this is what I feared: Her doing the neighborly thing all too well.

I have, or had, kept to myself because I didn't want anybody peeping on my business, especially my illicit one.  And yes, I have known her for a long, long time, so it's possible that she has seen cars come up to my house before.  But I haven't asked her to watch over me in case people are taking me away until now.  And now I know for sure that she has been looking.

So I race down the door to open it and invite ******e in.  That's when I had to think of a reply, so I just said, "Yeah, I was expecting company," and then for some goddamn reason I went, "Don't tell anyone!"  Great, now I have given her reason to think I am doing something my parents don't know I'm doing.

Look, I don't think she'd tell my folks.  After all, my parents refused to attend her mother's funeral, even though they were home and the service was virtually down the street.  My folks made her mom egg rolls, and she loved them.  That's a connection that should be celebrated, or at least memorialized, as she was laid to rest.  But they declined to go, and Mother's knee is a bullshit excuse, even though Mother never raised it (and no, I didn't ask why they didn't want to go).

So that makes me think that there's no way my sister's best friend would just blurt out one day to them that I had a chick come over.  But, would she tell my sister?  Maybe.  And that's what scares me.  I hope she plays it cool and understand I'm an adult.  And I don't think I can now ask her not to look when a suspicious car drives up to my house; these assholes are still around.  But I don't think I am going to stop asking my stripper girlfriends to come over, either.  In fact, I think I am going to ask *****y to drop by, and then, hopefully, ****e* will have time the following week to clean my house.  Will she suspect something if she sees a pattern of cars drive up to the house?  And if so, will she tell?

It's weird to think that she might be thinking I'm having sex workers at my house, I'll tell you that much.