Doesn't Take Much For My Fucking Mother To Push My Buttons

I needed to talk to her last/Monday night about bills that came in.  I thought everything was done.  But she called back.  First of all, she called back during the weather forecast I wanted to watch, so that perturbed me.  Second of all, she worried about some stupid detail that she told me to take care of, namely writing checks instead of going online and paying herself.  And finally, she insulted me by explaining something to me that I already know and was also not what I was talking about.  That is probably due to the language barrier, but also because this happens all the time, I naturally get defensive about her condescension.

And I was being a good boy food-wise up till then.  I didn't drink any coffee at work; instead, I had a hot cocoa (given to me by my former supervisor two or three years ago) in the morning and tea in the afternoon.  After shoveling the driveway, I went out to use a gift card at a really nice brewery for chicken wings and two 5-ounce glass of different beers (plus a half-filled 5-ounce glass for free ... er, double free!!)  I thought I controlled my eating yesterday/Monday.  And then My Fucking Mother talks down to me and I'm wolfing down Dot's BBQ pretzel sticks to fill the hole she punched into my gut, and I feel all fat again.  Goddamn her.

She wants me to write and send out the checks in the morning.  I'll do it later tonight instead.  Because she can fuck all the way off.

The Downside To Having A Neighbor Who's Looking Out For You

As I have told all of you, my sister's childhood best friend lives a couple houses down from me/us with her wife and their baby.  We text from time to time, but we have been in touch more since her mom passed in December.  I wanted to give her me and my family's sympathies, and then I wished her Happy Holidays, and then this fucking occupation from our goddamn Republican government began, and that is when I really started to text/bug her about sightings and, if need be, having each other's backs if the shit hits the fan.

She has a background in security, plus she has always been observant, so in the days when I got really scared about them patrolling our neighborhood and even our street, I felt, and feel, good that she will at the very least let me know if she sees something scary.  I have not been one to reach out and be friendly to neighbors, but if and when the time comes to band together, that is when it's beneficial, if not vital, to know who the people who live next and close to you are.

With all that said ... a man has needs, and for the first time since my parents finally skedaddled, I asked one of my stripper girlfriends, ******e, to come over and play with me.  She was late, of course, and this was when I came home from downtown watching the EPL after waking up early enough to see some soccer.  My body, with the help of the Bloody Mary I had, told me to rest while I waited for her.

I woke up to both a knock on the door and a buzz from my phone.  Naturally, I checked my phone first.  There was a text -- not from ******e, whom I asked to let me know when she was close, but from my sister's best friend.  She said she saw a car pull up to the driveway, and did I expect it.  And this is what I feared: Her doing the neighborly thing all too well.

I have, or had, kept to myself because I didn't want anybody peeping on my business, especially my illicit one.  And yes, I have known her for a long, long time, so it's possible that she has seen cars come up to my house before.  But I haven't asked her to watch over me in case people are taking me away until now.  And now I know for sure that she has been looking.

So I race down the door to open it and invite ******e in.  That's when I had to think of a reply, so I just said, "Yeah, I was expecting company," and then for some goddamn reason I went, "Don't tell anyone!"  Great, now I have given her reason to think I am doing something my parents don't know I'm doing.

Look, I don't think she'd tell my folks.  After all, my parents refused to attend her mother's funeral, even though they were home and the service was virtually down the street.  My folks made her mom egg rolls, and she loved them.  That's a connection that should be celebrated, or at least memorialized, as she was laid to rest.  But they declined to go, and Mother's knee is a bullshit excuse, even though Mother never raised it (and no, I didn't ask why they didn't want to go).

So that makes me think that there's no way my sister's best friend would just blurt out one day to them that I had a chick come over.  But, would she tell my sister?  Maybe.  And that's what scares me.  I hope she plays it cool and understand I'm an adult.  And I don't think I can now ask her not to look when a suspicious car drives up to my house; these assholes are still around.  But I don't think I am going to stop asking my stripper girlfriends to come over, either.  In fact, I think I am going to ask *****y to drop by, and then, hopefully, ****e* will have time the following week to clean my house.  Will she suspect something if she sees a pattern of cars drive up to the house?  And if so, will she tell?

It's weird to think that she might be thinking I'm having sex workers at my house, I'll tell you that much.

This Work Is MINE!!!

I will admit that I'm not completely sorry I did what I did at work yesterday.  But did I make a fool of myself?  Definitely.

This story starts back on Friday.  I was supposed to be in The Fourth Department, but my bosses told me that I should do data entry instead.  So once I keyed as long as I was expected to key, I went back to The Fourth Department.  However, I didn't finish the work.  I stayed till 6:30, but I wanted to see college basketball on the TV, and I thought ten hours was more than enough.  In particular, there were forms that came in on Friday that I didn't get to.  I was told during the workday that that stuff could wait till the next day (Saturday).  So I thought I could come in the next day, yesterday, and finish up that work and, hopefully, get started on the work that came in that day for The Fourth Department.  I was anticipating a lot of stuff was coming in, and I didn't want all that stuff to sit till tomorrow, especially if I was assigned to that position tomorrow.  Besides, the department needed help catching up on work, and while I liked having surprise days off, it was eating into the time off I had built up; working yesterday means I get to take some of that paid time off back.

I thought the mid-South was up and running, seeing as we got monster shipments Thursday and Friday.  However, when I woke up yesterday morning, I was told that morning's shipment was late, so we should come in an hour later than scheduled.  (Also, I have a Facebook friend who said that, beyond, like, half a day, her neighborhood in East Nashville has been without power for eight days.  Maybe they don't have everything back up and running like I thought.)  Two of my co-workers, however, appeared to have either not gotten that text or ignored it, because they were at their desks by the time I got in.  Moreover, one of them was doing the work I left over.

This is not an excuse, but how I felt was: Why are you taking my work from me?!  I know that I have done this in the past, and I know that I'm not strong enough not to feel that way in the future.  This red mist of control descended on me, like it has so many times before, and so I asked her, "What are you doing?"

"I am just finding work.  Do you want this back?" she said.

"Yes, please," I answered.  (These might not be the exact words she and I said, and any tone you might take from these two quotes may not be as sinister, or as courteous, as it actually was.)

I regretted my words as soon as I sat down on my desk.  And any doubt as to how she reacted to my "taking back what's mine" temper tantrum probably was dispelled when she said, "Here's the cart," and shoved the cart into which we put the work in my direction with a force I have never, never seen her give.  She is a steady rock.  And frankly, since my supervisor left for a work-from-home position in the summer, she is the one I have relied on whenever I'm fuzzy about what to do next.  In other words, I don't want to get on her bad side.  And I think I did with that move, and it's probably going to cause a rift in our relationship that will never be repaired.

And the upshot of the hissy fit I threw is that it really didn't matter.  I got Friday's work done, but then my boss and my boss' boss told me to go scan documents all day instead.  We got done before eight hours, so I was able to do (or availed myself with) some Fourth Department stuff to make up the rest of the time.  But yesterday was clearly an all-hands-on-deck day, and while I knew that, honestly, I really didn't want to do that.

I shouldn't have reacted how I did.  But it felt like she was taking my work from me.  Moreover, she was ruining my plans.  "I got this under control, don't mess this up for me," -- that's what I was thinking.  And no, like I said, that's not an excuse.  But shit, what's done is done.  I should get off my butt and start updating my resume.  Because I acted like an ass!

The Sleep Reset I Didn't Know I Needed

I didn't think I would pass out at 10 p.m., but I did.  My body told me I was real tired, so I listened to it, and I woke up around 5:30 and I feel good, even though I also feel a bit out of phase.  I back down to Day 1/10% bonus in Zynga Poker, but for a good night's sleep, I'll take it.

I really, really want to watch the EPL downtown.  I was going to do that yesterday/Saturday morning, but work called.  Also, I don't want to go to the bar on a day when a club whose supporters gather at this pub are playing.  That's most weekends when there is more than one Match going on (and on principle I don't usually don't go on a weekend when there is only one Match going on at a time), but yesterday/Saturday was one of those few times.  The next Saturday, I think I saw, was in mid-March.  However, there are three Matches going on this/Sunday morning, and none of them involve a club that meets there.  I didn't even think of going today/Sunday because they all kick off at 8.  But I'm awake now, so I can go!

But wait -- how about those damn people?  They had a goddamn checkpoint set up yesterday morning.  I don't see one now, so I hope there won't be one when I get back.

One other factor: The snow.  Only an inch fell, but it'd be just my luck if I get into a crash this morning.

Oh, I Went Back To Work On Thursday

My luck finally ran out, sadly.  Thursday morning, as I was checking my phone after my alarm went off, my boss told me a shipment was in and that we had to go in.  And it looked like the courier was well on its way to getting things up and running; Thursday we got three times the number of forms we usually get, which makes me think that got back on track on Thursday.

On Thursday I worked overtime to get all the stuff I think I needed to get done done.  Stayed longer yesterday/Friday because I was pulled from my work in The Fourth Department to do data entry.  That meant some of the stuff I could have done yesterday/Friday got pushed to today/Saturday.  And yes, I am coming in on a Saturday to work -- partly to help the department catch up, partly to take back all the paid time off I gave because I didn't work Monday through Wednesday.  I am suddenly getting close to going under with that.  I think I can actually "go into debt" and borrow up to 40 hours of paid time off in advance, but I would rather save that up for a time I need it, like a couple days in February and March.

Still, like I said, I was kind of sad Thursday morning when I didn't get the message that I could stay home.  I like not working.  It reminds me of the fallow periods inbetween temp jobs, where I was actually happy.  But since such happiness always ends, and because that feeling of everything crashing down is so hard for me, I would rather not enjoy happiness.  I want my vacations permanent, not temporary.

The Laundry/Mud Room Has Diarrhea

So the past two times I've washed some laundry, the second of which was Tuesday night, the floor has flooded.  Not bad; in fact, I don't know if this usually happens in houses.  But I went down to check if the washing machine was done and, for the second time in a row, there was a fairly large but extremely shallow puddle that I didn't want to step in.

The strainer in the basin, through which water flows underneath and, apparently, up through the grate on the floor in this room, is completely clean.  When it has been stuffed up with gunk, the back-up of water coming out of the washing machine drain hose (I think most houses connect that hose into the house's drain pipe directly, but we just nose that hose into the sink in that room because we're poor-thinking like that) makes the water fill up in the basin.  Sometimes when I go down there I freak out because the water is about to spill over the huge sink, so I'm grabbing cups to bail it out of that side of the basin and into the other side.  Maybe that's why I'm freaking out over seeing the pool of water on the floor; for that not to happen, the water would have to fill the basin, and I'd be having a heart attack over that instead.

Come to think of it, why can't the water just run into the sink, through the strainer, then underneath the grate and out?  In other words, why can't it just be normal?  Why do I have to worry about either flooding the mud room or the water overtopping the basin?  But because of this clean strainer and, I guess, something backed up underneath the floor, the entire room has, like, diarrhea or something.

Whatever, man.  Unless it starts to truly flood, I'm not going to care about water coming out of the floor.  Yet.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -3).  I don't want to keep harshing on hearing their collapse to Maryland at Williams early last Month.  That wouldn't be fair because as of now, I think their spot in the NCAA Tournament is all but assured.  They are enjoying a three-Game winning streak after dominating both Games they played this past Week, 88-53 over Wisconsin at The Barn Sunday afternoon, then 87-66 at Penn St. last/Wednesday night.  Turns out this is a pretty neat team this Year.  Hopefully they'll make some noise in The Big Dance.

And unlike most other teams on this list, their upcoming screening Week is light.  They play only once, hosting Purdue Sunday afternoon.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1).  Took both ends of a home-and-home against St. Cloud St., 8-1 there Friday, 5-1 here Saturday.  Yeah, but can they beat, say, Wisconsin, an actual good team?  Well, shit -- we're gonna find out this weekend as the Gophers host the Badgers, the unanimous #1-ranked team in the land, this weekend!

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -2).  All three Games the Wild played this Week were all at home, and they all went past regulation, which is something this club needs to stop allowing.  However, they won two of them eventually, defeating Detroit Thursday in Overtime and Chicago Tuesday in a Shootout.  Inbetween them, however, was an OT Loss to Florida.

And yet, somehow, the Wild have surpassed The Bastard North Stars, even if it's by only by a Point, for second place in the top-heavy Central Division.  I think they've played much better earlier this season than over this current stretch, and yet they've risen in the standings.  Go figure!

They have a busy screening Week coming up.  Tonight/Thursday night they finish a four-Game homestand hosting The Bastard Atlanta Flames.  They then go to Edmonton, come home to host Montreal, then play at Nashville.

#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -7).  Things haven't gone well for the Woofs, especially on the court but also of the court.  Losses early in the screening Week to Chicago and Golden State (both at home) stretched their losing streak to five.  The last defeat, to The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors on Sunday by 26, and that was delayed by a day because ICE executed Alex Pretti Saturday morning.  When it comes to unrest at home (and I'm thinking of George Floyd), it appears as if the Timberwolves (and I'll include the Lynx, too), it seems as if the local pro basketball team has to be the sounding board, and it looks as though both the global sports world and Twin Cities sports fans expect them to say something -- and will judge them if they don't react the way they and we want them to react.

That's a lot to bear when your job is to play basketball.  And so, and I am psychoanalyzing this, I can see this squad buckle under the weight.  But, they won the second tilt of the two-contest series against the Warriors Monday by 25, then went to Dallas and then, despite not having Anthony Edwards, pulled away and beat the Mavericks (who were without seven players, including Cooper Flagg and Anthony Davis) by 13 last/Wednesday night.  They are in sixth in the West, just a half-Game above The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers and the Play-In Tournament, and yet they're only three Games behind San Antonio for second.  They've been through a rough stretch, and they need a Point Guard and bench scoring, and they're back to not jelling when they should be.  But ... I guess it could be worse ... ?

Another busy Week for the T-Wolves as well: Home to The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics, two at The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies, then at Toronto.

#-5: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -5).  I don't ever remember seeing Ohio St. ranked second in the country in wrestling, ever.  Well, the second-ranked Buckeyes came into the Sports Pavilion and whooped dat ass, 29-9.  How in the fuckety-fuck has Ohio St. lapped Minnesota as a wrestling power?  They came back to slaughter Wisconsin in Madison, 26-10, but still -- Ohio St.??

At Iowa Friday.

#-6: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4).  I need to keep saying to myself that Niko Medved is turning this ship around.  I didn't notice till now that his Goofers have now lost six in a row after getting blown out by 19 at sudden juggernaut Nebraska (!) Saturday afternoon, then more than doubling up Wisconsin at Halftime, 35-17, before shitting the bed at Madison in the Second Half, losing 67-63 last/Wednesday night.  Goddamn, I'm glad I didn't listen to that piece of shit.  Geez.

The losing streak might continue: This screening Week they play at Penn St. Sunday afternoon, then host Michigan St. Wednesday evening.

#-7: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -6).  The Goofer male icers also lost a pair, this past weekend Michigan St., by scores of 3-1 and 3-2.  The Spartans were (and are) ranked second in the country.  The U. is playing a brutal stretch of Games: They got swept by Penn St. when they were ninth in the country, and then by Michigan when they were (and are) ranked first in the nation.  Also, these tilts were in East Lansing.  However, I put this sorry-ass squad at the bottom of this Week's survey for two reasons: 1) They have a longer losing streak than the Gopher men's basketball team with seven; and 2) they don't have the excuse of a first-Year Head Coach.  Minnesota is patient (some might say plodding) when it comes to changing coaches, but this has been a humbling season for Bob Motzko.

These young men will play a fourth straight ranked team.  And it's a border battle -- eighth-or-seventh-ranked Wisconsin comes to town this Friday and Saturday.

And Another Snow Day!!!

This is more than ridiculous; this is fucking absurd.  Either this is one fucking monstrous snowstorm or Southerners really don't know how to deal with snow and ice, because when I woke up and checked my texts, my boss said there wasn't a shipment again this morning.  Third day in a row.  We've never had two days of no work, let alone three.  So, another snow day!!!

Not to complain too much, but you really can't enjoy a surprise day off if you have to wake up assuming you don't have the day off.  Compounding that annoyance is that today, because I was scheduled to go in and cut packages open, I had to wake up early.  Then, once I saw that someone was going to go in to work and do everything for the rest of us, I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't.  (This despite having only, at most, 90 minutes of shuteye overnight.)

Unlike yesterday, today I had planned on going out: There's a volunteer event my financial planner is putting on very close to my house.  And since he's treating everyone to dinner afterward, hell yeah, I'm going.  And since I am taking the car out today, I might as well go to the Walker today and use that offer to see the museum for free after buying a ticket to the Arrows.  I had planned on going Saturday, but the chances are now very good that I will be working that day, so I switched plans and went just today.

You know, I know I'm not enjoying these surprise days off as much as I should because one day, this will all be over and we will have to go back to work.  Something good will be taken from me, and anticipating that will happen makes me very, very sad.  But that day wasn't today.  And, to be fair, I really thought that it would be yesterday and it wasn't.  So I'm riding on free money.

The one thing I'm lacking right now is sleep.  I have to end this blog post now in order to try and get a nap in before I go to this volunteer event.

The Gas Company Has Asked Us To Ration

Never seen this before: Our gas company has asked us to turn down our thermostat to 65 degrees until Friday.  The extended polar vortex apparently has all of us cranking our thermostats up, and it's both testing the utility and causing our rates to rise spectacularly.  (I didn't notice until I re-checked my e-mail just now; the company e-mailed back on Friday asking us to lower our thermostats to 65 degrees until Monday.  Man, if they have asked us to extend this rationing, we're doing a real number on their grid.)

The amount of money I have to pay for natural gas this month is about nine times that of the month with the lowest amount.  I think it went up $60 or $80 from the previous month, which was also either a $60 or $80 increase from the previous month.  Dear God.

Like a sucker conscientious customer, I did it.  But damn, it is cold.  I have tried turning it down to 65 when I sleep, like people recommend, but it was too cold for me to sleep, so I put it back up to 68, which is my evening/doing stuff around the house temperature.  (They say that you want it colder when you turn in than when you're up and about, but do you really?)  Anyway, I'll do it.  I'll bring it down to 65.  But sometimes I use my space heater when I'm cold.  I used it just now, and I reserve the right to use it again -- till Friday and, hell, after Friday.  Which, come to think of it, will rocket my electricity bill.  Oh, well -- damned if you do, damned if you don't!

Another Snow Day!!!

Alright, now this is getting ridiculous.  I wake up at my normal weekday time expecting to come in.  I check my phone, of course ... and I see that there has been a group text created with my boss and co-workers.  I still didn't quite understand it (or maybe I just didn't believe it), but apparently the shipment was expected to be so meager again this morning that not everyone had to come in today, either.  This text chain started a quarter after 4 this morning, so obviously I was late to the party, but from what I picked up, it was determined that there was such little work that, like yesterday, one person could come in and do my job and another person's.  It looks as though one of my co-workers volunteered to do that, and, after I texted my boss and another co-worker to make sure I'm seeing what I'm seeing, I asked, and was granted, today off.

Woo-hoo!!!  Hell yeah!!!  But damn, how bad is the storm down there?  Given the work we get is important, I thought they would need Sunday to recover, then be back fully functioning, or at least get up off the mat, by yesterday afternoon so they could at least start getting caught up with giving us a sizable shipment (if not more than a full day's shipment) this morning so we could, you know, work.  Guess not.

So we might get two days' worth of work tomorrow morning, and tomorrow is when I have to cut open packages.  I probably (unless the mid-South needs yet another day to recuperate) will be opening so many packages that I'll get carpal tunnel syndrome.  But that's tomorrow.  I have an interesting (at least to me) dilemma right now: Whether to work out at my gym.  When I got the day off today, I thought it would be a good time to finally get out and exercise.  But then I fell asleep again from around 10 till a bit before 2 -- much needed, by the way -- and now, I don't know.  It's above zero, which is miles warmer than what it was before, but it's still pretty cold.  I just saw on the map that these motherfuckers are still here; they just took a Latina woman this morning.  Finally, if I surprisingly don't have to work, do I want to start up my car?  Do I even leave the house?  You know, I think I should take advantage of this serendipity and stay at home -- completely at home, a one-day lockdown, like the weekend.  There's a bike that Mother used as a clothesline, but started using as a bike to help heal her knee.  I should get on it and just exercise here.  Yeah, I'll do that.  And I'll go out to the gym this weekend.