Forgot Shower Strainer

Right now I'm bothered (admittedly from other things too) that I failed to put a strainer in the master bathroom shower.  I had swapped out the one that was there and put that in the master bathroom sink, and I was going to toss the one that was in the master bathroom sink because it was getting all clogged up.  Somehow, I forgot to grab a new one (or an old one -- get this, My Father takes the time to unclog strainers in order to re-use them.  Yes, it saves money, and I put one of those cleaned ones in the shower, but I feel like this is a First World privilege that we should indulge in -- don't scrape shit off of a strainer, they're only two bucks apiece!), and worse than that, I put the plastic strainer that goes on top of the strainer back where it was, as if I had already put that second strainer back in.

Worst of all is I don't remember how long ago this all was.  I think, though, that it had to have been at least a month, and possibly it's been longer than that.  Lord knows how much of my hair and dead skin was able to get through that's currently clogging up the pipes.  Dammit, man, how could I forget something like that?  I had an entire process I needed to do, and I just stopped halfway through it.  What the hell was I thinking?

So That's Why The Rear Seat Wouldn't Stay In Place!/Poor Pen/How Angry My Father Gets

I think this happened, I think, shortly after my parents left.

I have my back seats arranged, well, strangely.  The back seat on the driver's side is put all the way down.  That way I can throw a blanket on top of it so that, when I crawl into my car to sleep for lunch at work, I can just get into the passenger seat, reach over and bring it up to the front.  Also because I need to sleep at work, I lift up the bottom of the back seat on the passenger side.  That way I can completely recline the passenger-side front seat so I can rest.  It's a perfect system.

For reasons I now forget, I had to fold down the back seat on the passenger side so that it looks normal.  (I think I did this at work, even though that's immaterial to this story.)  There is a bar on the bottom of the seat that is supposed to latch to an anchor on the floor, and for the life of me I couldn't get it to latch.  Finally, I looked at the floor ... and I saw almost a dozen bits of a pen, just strewn on the floor mat.  It wasn't just snapped in two; it was obliterated.

Seeing this, I think I realized how that came to be.  During a time when my parents were still home, I wanted to lift up the rear seat on the passenger side because I wanted to put my computer bag there.  I could have just stood it up against the laid-down seat, but I guess I was going somewhere where I wasn't completely sure my car wouldn't get broken into, so my plan was to fold up the seat, lie my laptop bag flat on the floor, and put my car shades on it so no one could see it.

I distinctly remember laying the computer bag flat with one of its pouches unzipped.  It was a pouch in which I keep my pens.  I also distinctly remember thinking I should zip it up because I don't want anything to roll out of the bag, but I thought nah, it won't happen.  Well, I'm guessing that poor pen did roll out of the bag and onto the floor, and when I grabbed my laptop bag, I didn't notice it got loose.

I don't remember this part, but I have to think that at a later day, without my knowledge, My Father put that back seat down.  That pen must have gotten into the anchor, preventing him from locking the seat in.  The only way he thought he could get it to go down and stay down was through force, so he just pushed down the seat repeatedly and violently, not knowing that the reason the seat wouldn't anchor was because that pen was in the way.  So he basically broke a pen into pieces by smashing it with the bar of a car seat.

I get the frustration.  But I'm hung up on how much force, and really how much violence, you would need to destroy a pen just because a car seat wouldn't secure.  But then again, I could see My Father being so angry to the point of using brute force to get what he wants.  I've seen it.  I've been a victim of it.  Preposterous or not, seeing those pen remnants is a reminder of how vicious My Father could be.

I will zip up the pouches on my computer bag from now on.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: United FC (Last Week: 0).  The Loons played in California three times over eleven Days ... and won all three Matches.  I honestly didn't believe they'd win any of them.  But after beating The Los Angeles Galaxy in Carson, Calif., on the 4th, they went down to San Diego and beat the IX that eliminated MNUFC last season by a 2-1 scoreline.  And they did it after giving up the FC Goal seven Minutes in.  But Kyle Duncan (who?) tied it up in the 15th, and then Nectarios Triantis danced along the endline and was able to hike the ball to Kelvin Yeboah (thank goodness he's producing, thus alleviating the team's preseason Striker problem) to give United FC the lead in the 40th they would not relinquish.  It helped even further that, one Minute into the Second Half, SDFC's Christopher McVey collected his second Yellow Card of the Match and was sent off.

U. S. Open Cup play also started for the Loons, and they had to play at The Sacramento Republic in The Round of 32.  Neither side scored, and Penalty Kicks went to twelve Rounds, but MNUFC outlasted the Republic, 9-8.  So, three Wins over two competitions?  They sit ninth in the West, so it's not as if they're flying high, but I think I can get them over negative numbers for this Week.

We begin two-a-weeks this Week: They host Portland Saturday night (it'll be cold), then they'll visit Dallas Wednesday evening.

#-1: Twins (Last Week: -1).  The screening Week ended with a 9-5 Loss to Boston at Target Field that prevented a Twins sweep.  That after Minnesota won a weekend series at Toronto, which happened after the Twins beat the Tigers at home on Thursday to complete a four-Game sweep of Detroit.  That's three consecutive series victories and a 5-2 record for the Week.  And somehow, someway, they lead The American League Central Division.  It's very early, of course.  But these players have shocked the shit out of me, and because of that, I need to give them their flowers by placing them here.

The run of Pitchers they've beaten has been particularly impressive -- Tarik Skubal, Framber Valdez, Max Scherzer (even though the Hall Of Famer-to-be's best days are behind him, beating him is still a hell of a feat) and Garrett Crochet, who, on Monday, suffered his worst and shortest outing of his career, getting chased out of the Game after just 1 2/3 Inning and getting shaken down for eleven Runs (one of them Unearned).  The Lineup is raking.  And the starting rotation, with the possible exception of Simeon Woods Richardson, who was the one who got lit up yesterday/Wednesday, has been solid.  A great start so far for this young team ... which may be a smack in the face for Pohlad haters because, once again, the club is playing well after ownership refused to pay money for star players.

They have today/Thursday off, host Cincinnati for a three-Game series beginning tomorrow/Friday night, have Monday off, then have a three-Game series in Queens vs. The New York Mets starting on Tuesday.

#-2: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  Sure, they completed their regular season by beating the Rockets in Houston and The Bastard Charlotte Hornets at Target Center.  But they were already locked into the 6-Seed, so playing out the string without getting any players injured was the only goal.  I got a ticket to Sunday night's regular season finale versus New Orleans, and only Donte Divincenzo, Terrance Shannon, Jr., and maybe Joan Beringer and Joe Ingles will see playing time in the playoffs.

And they still only won by six.  Man, I want to think that the squad was just mailing it in during the regular season and now they'll turn it on.  And they've always played Denver, the team they're facing in the First Round of the NBA Playoffs, well, especially in the postseason.  But my eyes saw a frustrating, sometimes lackadaisical group of people whose play with and without the ball have fallen off.  And now we need to see how hurt Anthony Edwards and Jaden McDaniels are without them being honest with us.  I hate to say it, but the Wolves are getting eliminated by the Nuggets.  And then where will this organization be?

#-3: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -2).  I wish the athletic department would announce when they adjust baseball schedules.  For example, I know, for a fact, that their weekend series at Siebert versus Washington was a weekend trio to be played Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  And yet they swapped out the Sunday Game for a Doubleheader that began Friday afternoon.  Don't get why; there was no inclement weather on Sunday.  In fact, it was sunny and hot -- perfect baseball weather.

Anyhoo, they split the Doubleheader, but the Gophers nipped the Huskies in the Saturday getaway Game, 5-4.  Then they put a hurtin' on St. Thomas at their park on Tuesday, mercy ruling the Tommies in seven Innings by a score of, wow, 24-2.  I doubt they're getting into the NCAA Tournament, but at 22-14 overall (yeah, they're 5-10 in-conference) with the ability to hit, I've seen worse from this program.

And now they face the tallest task: At the #1 team in the country, UCLA, this weekend.  They then come back home to play North Dakota St. in a one-off Tuesday.

#-4: Wild (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  Wound up their regular season 1-3 this Week, which started off with a 5-4 Loss at The Bastard North Stars in which they blew leads not once but twice.  That's bad enough (as a principle I always weigh Wins and Losses against The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.2.0 heavier than other Games the Wild and all other local teams play), but it portends poorly for the postseason since the Wild will play The Bastard North Stars in the First Round.  (Aside: I've heard a lot of bitching about the first two Rounds of The Stanley Cup Playoffs being intra-Division because two powerful teams like Minnesota and The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.2.0 will meet sooner than maybe they should.  I don't give a fuck.  This is how the NHL postseason was for me growing up, and I don't mind it at all.  Just fucking win, Wild.)

With this matchup set in stone since Valentine's Day, Minnesota has had time to set up their roster.  But one roiling question as they begin the series over the weekend is who to start in net.  Filip Gustavsson was the Goaltender in Monday's 6-3 shellacking in St. Louis, and a couple of the Goals, if reports are correct, should have been stopped, and easily.  Jesper Wallstedt was the Goalie in Tuesday's season finale at the Gica vs. Anaheim, and he allowed only two Goals and, by all accounts, played great.  And yet there are rumors, of fears, that Gus Bus will handle the goaltending duties for the series instead of The Wall Of St. Paul.  We'll see, won't we?

Aw, fuck it; I'll predict they'll get swept.  I don't care about the law -- the Wild refusing to embrace the legacy of The Minnesota North Stars will damn them to yet another early exit, and deservedly so.

#-5: Gopher softball (Last Week: -3).  We might need to start talking about how moribund the U. softball program is these days.  They were facing a ranked Washington club in Seattle, but they got swept anyway.  The softballers now sit at 6-9 in B1G play, but 14-27 overall.  They're going to miss the tournament for the third Year in a row.  And I get the feeling things aren't getting better.

Maybe some home cookin' will do them some good.  They start a seven-Game homestand with a weekend series against Nebraska, then host North Dakota for a one-off at Cowles Tuesday.

I Want To Know When I Need To Go Into Work, That's All

Now, I preface this by saying that I'm blog posting this due to unusual circumstances, namely that my co-worker is going to be out for a while because she is hurting in a big way, though I don't specifically know why or how.  One would think that would be an acceptable reason to see one's schedule change, even though that would mean a change in time you start your shift, like my job does.

But most of the time -- and again, I'm not blaming anyone, this rises only to the level of annoyance -- I don't know what I'm doing at work, and therefore I don't know what time I need to get in, sometimes until my last day of my workweek (usually Friday), and sometimes I don't know until I get in to start my workweek (usually Monday).  Beyond knowing what time I need to get in and thus knowing what time I need to set my alarm, I would want to know what I'm doing -- whether I'm doing data entry, I'm in The Third Department, or The Fourth -- before next week starts so I can get into the right frame of mind.  Each different position requires doing different things, obviously, and I want to know what I'm expected to do each day of the week before that week begins.  Again, I understand I might not know when I want to know.  Things come up, such as my co-worker being in traction for a while.  Also, my boss is real busy.

But when things change on me, I have to alter my plans.  Let me be selfish and rant here.  I was given my work schedule for this week on Friday.  There, I was supposed to come in to work early on Friday only.  And considering we have been asked to stay beyond our shift to key almost on a regular basis since, oh, the year started, my plan was to work a bit extra yesterday/Tuesday, go to the post office downtown, mail my taxes, then celebrate by going to a fancy restaurant downtown.

My co-worker being out injured switched around my entire week.  Now, my early day was, actually, yesterday/Tuesday.  And while I had to stay a bit after to get all the data entry done, I got done before the post offices (at least the ones here) closed at 5.  That meant I didn't have to pay for parking downtown to file my taxes at the downtown post office, which closes at 8.  Yeah, that could be seen as a good thing.  But I don't like it when my plans are changed for me, even if it means I could get home earlier than I thought and wouldn't have to pay for parking, which is a huge pet peeve of mine.  I spent a substantial portion of my workday wondering if I should just go to downtown anyway, even though I would be there way earlier than I thought.  Ultimately, though, the facts that I could mail my taxes before the conventional workday was over and could do it without paying for parking convinced me I should move this dinner at the fancy restaurant, which I was looking forward to, to another day.  (I also realized that the Twins were playing at Target Field last/Tuesday night.  I don't think they're getting any crowds, even though they're playing quite well right now, but I didn't want to risk any chance of losing my temper over traffic.)

However, having my evening freed up invited another opportunity I had to spend some mental bandwidth contemplating: Working out.  I haven't been to my gym in weeks, and after bellyaching over, well, my aching belly after eating so much while watching the WNBA Draft Monday night, this might be a sign that I could, and should, work out.  But I remembered I also had a plan of finishing off the two ginger beers that have been open for weeks in a dark 'n' stormy.  Not knowing what to do, I decided to go home after eating dinner at a mom-and-pop Mexican restaurant and try and sleep.  If I couldn't lose consciousness in half an hour, I'd get up and work out.  Instead, I woke up around 7:30.  I walked up and down the street for exercise instead.  And I drank my cocktail.

Still feel kind of bad I haven't gone to the community center.  But that's what happens when your work schedule changes on you.

I Make Bad Choices

So I was at this bar last/Monday night for the WNBA Draft (the Lynx will rue that they chose Miles over Fam Thiam, book it).  I wanted to stay for the whole thing, but the wings I got weren't enough for me.  So I got these "Chicken Dunkers," and when the server asked me what else I wanted to go with it, I realized I may have gotten myself way over my head, or stomach.  And lo and behold, I got this small but bountiful basket of chicken ... well, they're smaller than tenders but bigger than nuggets, put it that way.  And there were tater tots, which I chose, interspersed with those.  I finished, but barely, and now I feel fat.  Because I am fat, and I make bad choices when it comes to eating.

I was so tired after coming home I went to bed after the news.  As I was falling asleep I realized that there's a bruise on my left knee.  Have no idea where I got it from.  I didn't bang something hard at work or at the bar.  Maybe it happened spontaneously.  Maybe my body's breaking down.

I make bad choices.

Have I Passed Up A Massage For Good?

So out of the blue, ******a, my ATF from My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Edition), asks if I'm free tonight/Monday night.  I have been angling for a massage session since the New Year, and she kept putting it off, and frankly, I was wondering if it was ever going to happen.

She had said that she was shooting for the end of the month, so it was kind of surprising that she turned around and texts me if I were free tonight.  To be fair, she has not said specifically she was offering me a massage.  She could be offering to do something else.  I thought, because I saw her at a Lynx Game once, that she had a ticket to a WNBA Draft party at Target Center or something.  I have plans tonight, and ironically, it's watching the WNBA Draft, mostly because I wonder how it's going to shake out (I've seen four players projected to go #1) and the Lynx need to hit on #2 because they have lost almost half their squad, including starters Bridget Carleton and Alanna Smith.  But hell yeah I would ditch them if she only had time tonight to rub me down.  I tell her this, and she asks me to go on with my plans.  She might be free Friday or next Monday night.

I like that she's chill with what I've got going on.  Then again, I'm scared that I missed my chance of getting touched by her.  This is like the time I passed up on fucking ****e* because I was scared of sticking my dick in her.  Will I get another chance, or have I fucked this up because of a draft?

Tax Form Filling-Out OCD

I'm trying to finish doing my taxes, and I keep making mistakes on these forms.  Not big, mathematical ones, but, like, one digit wrong in the tens place, or writing the amount on the wrong line.  My OCD is kicking in big-time, so I keep printing out forms and doing them, only to fuck up again so I reprint more.  I have printed them out at work, which I know is frowned upon.  I also have printed them at the library, where I am typing this blog post right now, but it's 20 cents a copy, which is why I printed them at work while I was at work.

This library sometimes has free copies of the main forms, like the 1040, lying about, which is great and another reason why the Twin Cities is a good, moral place to live in.  But I fucked it up, again, and I'm tired of re-doing it, so I am just going to give the federal government the 1040 where I wrote a whole amount on the wrong line.  Even my OCD, as bad as it fucking is right now, has limits.  Besides, I just printed out another form and I think I did it completely right, so yay, me, be happy with that one win.

Downtown Thrice

I have completed the first of not one, not two, but three trips to downtown Minneapolis I will take over two days, or technically (from the time I got into downtown for my first trip in yesterday/Saturday till the time I will leave downtown for my last trip out tonight/Sunday night) about 31 hours, give or take.  It really doesn't make sense for me to hit the same place thrice in such a short amount of time, but I'm doing it.

The two times today/Sunday are the "important" times.  In the afternoon I have to go get a hard hat I won at an auction (if I explain this in a blog post, that means I've overcome my shame), and six hours later there's a Timberwolves Game for which I got a free ticket.  I will not stay in downtown Minneapolis for six hours, especially when I can work on my taxes instead.  I guess I could have skipped going to my college Game-watching bar and just listened to the Frozen Four Final on satellite radio instead, but I wanted to see it in public.

I wonder, though, if I should use the minivan in the afternoon.  I don't want to tax my car, and it seems stupid overkill to drive it to the same place twice.  Plus, I need to put the van through a more rigorous trip than just the grocery store.

Buying Wiper Blades Has Become So Complicated

Finally put on the new wiper blades I bought through Amazon yesterday/Friday.  Bought them for both my car and my parents', so there are six total blades that have been on both since ... oh, I want to say March of last year.

I bought five total.  One of them is the wrong length -- maybe (see below).  So there are two that still need to be replaced: My passenger side and the rear on the minivan (which, I want to say, has been back there for years).  Yeah, it's kind of a half-assed job seeing that two blades still need to be swapped out and I bought one that doesn't fit.  And surprisingly, Amazon wasn't much of a help; I ordered these through them before, but for some reason, like you see, I couldn't all of the right ones ordered.

It still seems strange that I would buy wiper blades through Amazon when Wal-Mart has them, so a few months ago, I went there.  I've bought a replacement or two there in the past, but this time around, things were different.  I'm going by the length of the blade, which used to be printed, in big digits, across the top of each blade package -- you know, "25," or "16," etc.  For some goddamn reason, there aren't just digits there anymore.  Some of them have a letter in front, and then a dash, and then what appears to be the length of the blade, and then some of them have a dash and yet another number after it.  What the fuck, man?  I just want a blade that fits my car, and they're complicating it, and I know it doesn't have to be.

About that blade I may have ordered by mistake: It's 13 inches long, and I swear I was told that is the length of my car's passenger-side wiper.  But I have seen in other places that it's actually 14 inches.  And believe me or not, the manufacturer can't give me a straight answer, and Google can't aggregate the websites that will tell me definitively whether it's supposed to be 13" or 14".  I looked through the links, and I see both lengths given.  Can it be either?  That seems dangerous to me.

Maybe it's my fault for not writing the lengths down.  But damn, they're just wiper blades.

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: March 2026

I have to admit that since the last Hooters in the state closed a few weeks ago, I haven't looked forward to reviewing the Hooters calendar as much.  It seems kind of pointless to point out which Hooters babes are the hottest when I can't see the real thing at the Mall Of America.  But I am duty-bound by my OCD to do this until the end of the year.  And you know, it's gonna be a bit funny to not do these breastaurant calendar reviews after this year ... unless Twin Peaks moves into the Hooters space, like I'm guessing it could.

Anyway, I have looked at all baker's dozen waitresses, and I'm very, very aroused by this month.  And I'm not saying that just because March is my birthday month.  OK, maybe I am a bit.  As you could probably imagine, because it's the month of St. Patrick's Day, many of the girls here are dressed in green, which happens to be my favorite color (probably because March is my birthday month, also granted).  But with all those caveats, I will list eight Hooters servers who caught my eye.

In eighth place is Erica, hailing out of St. Peters, Mo.  Long blonde hair, in a two-piece green bikini (you know, just to save myself some time and finger strokes, assume the Hooters woman is wearing a two-piece green bikini unless I describe what she's wearing).  Nothing else striking about her, but she's directly facing the camera.  Also, since she works in the St. Louis area, I want to think I would be able to have her sign my calendar if I went down there on vacation -- "if" being the operative word since I don't plan on going anywhere big or far on vacation until this current administration is deposed.

In seventh place is Haley, from Hialeah, Fla.  Long, dark brown (maybe black) hair.  She seems to be sitting between two walls made out of logs.  She's also posed three-quarters to the camera, which deprives us of her whole body.  But she's pulling up the sides of her bikini bottom, plus I just noticed that she has (or seems to have) thick hips.  Don't see that every day on a Hooters girl.

In sixth place is Mia, of Weston, Fla.  Curling, dirty blonde hair reaches down to her small tits.  She's also doing the bottom tug thing.  (Come to think of it, most of the waitresses here are doing that.)  Like I said, she's got a petite body.  She looks 18.  But that youth and innocence -- assuming she's of age! -- is really cute to see serving you wings.

In fifth place is Mia, hailing from Mesa, Ariz.  Think Zendaya.  With curly dark (probably black, possibly brown) hair, she is not wearing a green bikini.  Instead, she's wearing a light blue/periwinkle two-piece.  She's facing almost directly at the cam.  She's got that vertical slit on her stomach, a sign of a slim, lithe body.  Also, she's tugging a bit on the right side of her bottom down.  Forty years ago, that would mean a glimpse of her pussy hair.

In fourth place is Cass, from Buford, Ga.  Light blonde hair that cascades halfway down her body.  Don't know why in the hell she's holding a life preserver.  But she is sporting a red, one-piece, old-school bikini, and it's slit so low down to her stomach that you get a good shot of her left sideboob.  And with her hair thrown over her right shoulder, she looks absolutely gorgeous.

In third place is Karli, out of North Charleston, S C.  Long, jet black hair.  She's directly facing the camera.  She's not so much tugging her bikini bottom so much as pinching the right side of it with her fingers.  She's wearing a belly chain, ooh-la-la.  And you can tell that her tits are fake, but frankly, those bolt-ons look so good on her, I don't care!

Before I proceed with the top two, I want to remind you again that March is the month of St. Patrick's Day.  St. Patrick obviously is from Ireland, and Ireland is known for its redheads.  Thus, you would figure that Hooters would put redheaded Hooters girls in the calendar for March.  And I am a sucker, if not a whore, for redheads, so the two gingers in March '26 complete this list.  Ironically, though, neither of them are wearing anything green, even though that would make sense for the month.  That green and red would also provide, in my humble opinion, a sexy contrast (or would they be complementary to each other?) that has powered many of my sexual fantasies.

In second place, also hailing out of Mesa, Ariz., is Brittany.  She is knee-deep in a pool.  She mostly has her left side flashing toward the camera, which isn't great, but I see a tiny shot of her bikini bottom, and it's cut enough that I think I would see at least half of her ass.  She too throws her long hair over her right shoulder, and that combination, plus her slight grin, makes for an unstoppable picture.

Finally, in first place is The Main Girl, Emma, from ... oh, what a coinky-dink, she's from Mesa, Ariz., too!!!  She is wearing a black, cut-through Hooters tank top and black Hooters bikini bottoms, the left side of which she is grabbing.  Most of her right side is facing the photographer, but that means you can see her left sideboob.  You can also tell she is wearing a (presumably Hooters-themed) bikini top, which is a bummer because I would rather not see anything underneath her tank top.  But she is arching her back to emphasize her hot torso.  She looks sexy posing with pursed lips.  And she has thrown her long hair over her left shoulder.  This photograph is just fucking sex personified, not gonna lie.

So congratulations to Emma, and the other seven hot women comprising an excellent March 2026.  And don't worry -- I already jerked off to y'all!!!