The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  A certain set of circumstances has converged this Week that compels me to lift all boats like this.  For the Lynx, it's going on the road and beating their two closest rivals in the standings.  Both Games were competitive, but in the end, Minnesota defeated Las Vegas by five Saturday night and Golden State by eleven last/Wednesday night.  I'm still scared that they can't keep this charmed season up; at the end of the Valkyries Match, Olivia Miles tweaked her ankle and left with about half the Fourth Quarter remaining.  Anything can derail and ruin what has been a special season.  But that fear is for the postseason.  For now, let's enjoy the Lynx having a five-Game winning streak, vanquishing both the Aces and the Valks on their home floors, and a four-Game lead over Golden State for the top Seed for the postseason.

Actually, there might be true reason to worry.  Tomorrow/Friday evening they visit Washington, and the Mystics have the size to give Minnesota problems.  They then host the Valkyries Monday night.  Did you know that Golden State still hasn't beaten the Lynx yet?

#0: Twins (Last Week: -2).  This is ridiculous, and probably a further indictment of how shitty The American League is.  The Twinks got swept by Philadelphia -- first at The Field Of Dreams Game in Dyersville, Ia., Thursday by a 7-1 score, then 9-1 at Target Field Saturday, then blowing a 5-0 lead late Sunday afternoon and losing 7-5 -- then just completed a sweep of Atlanta at home where The Bastard Boston (by way of Milwaukee) Braves never led once.  So, and I hope I'm reading the standings correctly, as of right now, The Minnesota Twins, about a Year after a brush-clearing fire sale that also destroyed most if not all of the fanbase's goodwill, would be in the playoffs.  See, this is how the Pohlads continue to sucker people into maintaining interest and buying tickets.  They willingly decimate their Bullpen and still manage to reel off a decent-enough following season that keeps local baseball fans tuned into whether they could make the postseason.  Now, to be fair, this Year they actually traded for relievers, not away.  And they're still two Games below .500.  But they should have been ass in 2026, and goddammit, they're fighting, or "fighting," for a playoff spot instead.  They deserve to be above negative numbers this Week, what can I say?

Sure, things can change.  This screening Week they're in San Diego for three starting tomorrow/Friday night, then they head to Sacramento to play The Bastard Philadelphia/Kansas City/Oakland/"Sacramento" Athletics.  They could fall off the playoff race this time next Week, but considering how weak everyone else around them is, probably not.

#-1: Gopher soccer (NEW SEASON!).  Not much is expected from this squad (if the conference preseason poll means anything), but so far, not bad.  They kicked off the Year trouncing North Dakota and Robbie Stadium Thursday, 4-0.  Then, in their only notable non-conference Match of the season, they played 19th-ranked Georgia to a 1-all Draw, also at home.  I went to that Match Sunday afternoon.  The Bulldogs scored six Seconds before Halftime on a Penalty Kick by Sage Glover, which was given after a foul by Golden Gophers Goalkeeper Sarah Martin that only was caught by the Video Assistant Referee (the NCAA has VAR now?  Cool!).  But in the 62nd Minute, Davy Mokelke deked her Defender (who may have hurt herself) and fired one past Georgia GK Jordan Brown to tie it up.  The U. was clearly the better club from that point on, but they just couldn't find the Game-winner.  Not bent out of shape too much; I thought Georgia was going to win, and they didn't.

The team's in Fargo to play North Dakota St. tonight/Thursday night.

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -3).  Look -- you can never convince me that a 2-1 score is indicative of an ass-kicking, like many Loons faithful believe after their Loss at home to Atlanta.  (MNUFC was celebrating ten Years of the organization in Major League Soccer last/Wednesday night, by the way.  Several alumni were on hand, and I was hoping some of them could put the uniform on and play.)  But the vibes around this club continue to be shit.  Anthony Markanich's equalizer was memory-holed by yet another Goal due to a Backline breakdown that gave Atlanta United the victory.  Atlanta was the foe for the Loons' very first MLS home Game, at the Gopher football squad's stadium, and they beat United FC, 6-1, so ... improvement, I guess?

I would remiss if I didn't add that MNUFC was able to tie it up at Real Salt Lake Saturday night, 1-1.  But they haven't won a league Game since defeating Columbus on the road back on May 2.  They are now out of playoff position, and they still lack quality talent at both the point and the pommel of their starting XI.  Worst of all: Fans are starting to boo the team.  I think this is a front office issue, not one dealing with talent, tactics or effort.  I really don't want to be like a typical soccer team that fires a Manager after, like, three weeks.  Still, the natives are getting restless.

Next Saturday they visit vastly-improved San Jose.

The Triumphant Return Of VEF!!!

OK, so I was about to do a blog post where I fell asleep at a decent time again (if you count 11:30 as a decent time) and trying to figure out when and how to fit in dropping off the wood pallet at my unit, getting a massage, going to my favorite speakeasy, and having visits from two stripper girlfriends, all before the State Fair begins.  (Still haven't figured it out yet; I might blog post about it later this week.)

But the days has already started out great, because VEF is back!  It was gone for over a month, and my God, it's like a druggie being in withdrawal.  Around the same time I saw a bunch of other porn sites put up those "I am 18+" verification boxes before you'd get to the homepage, and I thought VEF getting suddenly taken down had something to do with that.  I don't know all the details as to why and how, but that was not the case here.  All I know is I was up at around 5:30 this morning, I needed to blog post, I thought I would take another shot at VEF, and voila! it's back!!

I hadn't realized how much I've relied on VEF.  As other things remain out of place, I am so happy that I have this back in my life!!!

Waste The Day

I just wish I had the motivation right now to work on my stuff.  But other things get in the way.  Stuff like other chores.  For example, right after I got home (from a long day at work), I immediately (well, OK, I ate some nuts first) mowed the lawn, even though the weather has been so dry I was mowing over brown spots.  I thought I needed to mow if only because I hadn't done it in about a month.  I did that instead of, for example, going through my stuff.

I think I'm doing this because I think I have time.  I don't know if that's the case.  My parents may say they're coming home at a moment's notice.  It would be nice for me to have everything packed up and ready to go into storage, also at a moment's notice.  Shoot, at this point I would settle for immediately knowing which boxes I would put my stuff in, throw everything into those boxes, and then leave.  I would take that as a plan.  But I haven't gotten that far yet.  Instead, I'm mowing and eating and doomscrolling.

I work early tomorrow.  After work I want to get my hair cut because it's getting so long I have to wait an hour before it dries.  Maybe after I take a shower I can tackle my stuff.  Or, I'll take a nap.  I'll probably take a nap and waste yet another day that I could've used doing something productive.

I think I was able to fix the two sprinkler heads I wanted to work on this weekend so that they arc on my lawn and not our house or the neighbor's driveway.  (Unfortunately, there is still the possibility that wind could push the water from those sprinklers onto the driveway, like it did yesterday/Sunday afternoon.  I don't know if that can be helped.  What I needed to make sure was that those two sprinklers didn't arc beyond grass, and I think I accomplished that.)

But after getting a wood pallet from work home, I ... didn't do much of anything.  Sure, I've done some laundry, but that was yesterday/Sunday morning.  I still haven't really done anything with my stuff because I've been busy doing yardwork.  And I could, for example, work on my fantasy football draft, but now I'm too tired to do anything.

Damn, I feel like such a lazy failure.

Kinda Fucked Up Now

I woke up after I threw up a little in my mouth.  Ever have that happen to you?  Not fun.

That happened around 5:11.  And that happened after I woke up around 4:30, which happened after I shut off the lights to see if I would fall asleep around 12:30.  And I did that even though I juiced half a lime (25 mL -- yeah, waiting for the lime to warm up to room temperature seems to help a lot!) at 8 p.m.  That means I had till about 6 a.m. to use it all before it went bad.  I failed to do so; I am drinking a Suffering Bastard right now, which I made around 5:30, but I have 10 mL I still have to use.  And even though it's "spoiled," I will still use it, right after I finish my first cocktail at around 6:30.  Can't waste bad lime juice.

And yes, I am day drinking.  Well, looks like dawn drinking.  I admit that this is kind of fucked up -- drinking in the morning, sleeping at odd hours, waking up after intermittent sleep and, of course, throwing up in my mouth.  At least I'm not working or anything, right?

I should do something productive, like clean up or something, now.

Late going to Caffetto, and while I wanted to reconcile my monthly expense list, goddammit, I forgot my day planner at home.  Guess that makes up time for me to attend Porchfest, which just started, and so I'm kind of bummed I wasn't at a house when a bad actually started the day (Porchfest kicked off at 1, which is about four minutes after I typed this).

Going to a house party.  Don't know when I want to get there.  A part of me wants to get there at 2, but unlike Porchfest, there's no good reason for me to get there right at the start because strippers don't usually start working when the party begins.  Also, the one woman whom I wanted to be there, ****e, just texted me that she wouldn't be there.  I am going just to please the host, ******e, so I make sure I get her texts for parties in the future.  But will I get a dance?  Unless I run into someone I remember or take a chance on a woman, I don't think so.

Could move up my yardwork to after the party, but it rained just now.  Heavily at some points.  Was it supposed to rain?  Didn't catch the news last night.  The rain discourages me from mowing or trying to reconfigure the sprinkler heads till tomorrow.

My day so far.

And My Weekend Is Busy, Too

Admittedly, I am filling it up with stuff I want to do in order to push out things I think I should do.  I thought this would be the weekend I would finally figure out the right arc for some of the sprinkler heads I've been working on.  Also, even though it's been really dry, maybe I should mow the yellow lawn.  And I should get around to my clothes and dishes ... and, oh yeah, my stuff.

But then I remembered that there is a house party on Saturday.  The cover's expensive as hell, and there's only one chick I care to see there, but ******e has invited me for a while and I haven't been there yet this calendar year, so it's time I go.  But there's also Porchfest, where bands play in front of houses in the Wedge neighborhood.  And then MNUFC is playing -- it's on the road, but I figure I would go to a watch party sponsored by the club at least once this season, and I'm doing so at a restaurant I haven't ever been to but have wanted to go to for some time, so that's extra enticement.  Then, tomorrow/Sunday afternoon, the Gopher women's soccer team is hosting Georgia.  Normally the U. hosts smaller colleges from the region, so having a brand-name school from the SEC (let alone a ranked one -- Gophers will have their hands full) come to Robbie Stadium to play is a special event to go to, and so I will be going.

By the way, one of my stripper girlfriends, *****a, needed help moving things Sunday afternoon.  I thought I could reach her through Messenger, but apparently I can only contact her now through Instagram, of which I don't have a personal account.  I would love to help, but since there apparently is no way to reach her, I can't help her.  Shucky darn!

So with all of that, I figure I could fix the sprinklers either Sunday morning or, if I'm not awake in time, after I come back.  I thought I should exercise in the evening, but I'm still not sure they're open, so maybe that sprinkler-fixing and, possibly, mowing will serve as my workout.  Or maybe I won't do those things ... which means I'll be spending this weekend having fun and not doing things I need to do.  Shucky darn!

I don't know if she likes me, but I know that she kind of pissed me off yesterday.  She asked me if she could help with work.  It was relatively easy back where we were, but there was a lot of data entry, so much so that I was going to help key.  I told her that there what was left was one basic thing that could be done but is usually done the next morning.  To which she replied, "That is low priority," as if I didn't know that, even though she knows darn well I do.  I'm just telling her how it was with me because, you know, she asked.

And then she left seemingly in a huff.  I am going to be confident enough to say that she was leaving me without much consideration.  Which usually happens, but I take note after her condescension.  Dammit -- her attitude just bugged the hell out of me yesterday.  What's up with her?

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Just want to note that typically (this changed this Year; the Loons didn't play for two Months due to the World Cup, so we've had several screening Weeks where there were only two teams I had to talk about) this marks the end of the fallow/easy season of The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  Gopher soccer starts their season tonight/Thursday night, and we'll just be adding teams from here on till, oh, the spring.  More work for me on this the rest of the Year.  Oh, well.

#-1: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  Started off their extremely busy Week by snapping their winning streak at ten with an inexplicable collapse in The Fourth Quarter at home Thursday to Los Angeles, losing 89-82.  Cheryl Reeve ripped her team a new asshole, and they responded Saturday afternoon finally putting away The Bastard Utah Starzz, 98-87, Saturday afternoon, then beating The Bastard Detroit Shock by 13 the next afternoon and, finally, holding off the Fire in Portland last/Wednesday night, 85-81 after leading by as much as 29 Points.  The Defense continues to crawl back from the mediocrity they fell into in the middle of the season.  Now, the big shortcoming is bench scoring; Minnesota may have the best starting 5 in all the WNBA, but scoring from substitutes is increasingly looking like a rumor.

And yet their Net Rating remains the best in the league, and of course they have the best record in the W, too.  That will be put the test as they continue a four-Game road trip this Week versus, respectively, the third- (Las Vegas on Saturday) and second-best (Golden State on Wednesday) clubs in the league.

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -2).  The Twinks traded for three Bullpen arms just before The Trade Deadline, and yet they continue to struggle to put Games away, as evidenced by back-to-back 4-3 defeats at The Bastard Seattle Pilots Saturday and Sunday.  And yet, after going through a 4-3 Week, they remain, stupidly, a 1/2-Game behind The Bastard Washington Senators v.2.0. for ALWC3 -- and they still remain below .500, too.

They continue their almost-maximum homestand with a weekend three-Game set vs. The Philadelphia Phillies.  They play Saturday and Sunday at Target Field.  But they start their series tonight/Thursday night in Dyersville, Ia., as the Twins "host" The Field Of Dreams Game at 6:30.  That's got to be something.  By the way, a ticket Tuesday night was being sold for over $800.  The Bastard Boston Braves then come in for a trio beginning Monday.

#-3: United FC (Last Week: -3).  First off, I have to say that the malaise infecting the senior team was on hand Saturday evening when I went to see MNUFC2 close by.  They took the lead on The San Jose Earthquakes 2 off a Penalty Kick, but that PK was initially missed; a teammate had to swoop in to pounce on the rebound.  The Twoons allowed San Jose 2 to equalize when one of the United FC 2's players made a backpass just as the Goalkeeper ran up to his teammate; an opposing player got to the ball before the backtracking Goalkeeper did.  Finally, right after the final whistle, MNUFC2 cracked under pressure and could convert only 1-of-4 Penalty Kicks, losing 3-1 after 4 1/2 Rounds.  Not a display of professional soccer there.

After hearing they lost to Tigres on Friday and knowing I had to go to Tuesday's meaningless Leagues Cup finale against Atlante because no one wanted my ticket, I was prepared to see an even more woeful performance than I saw the previous Tuesday against Juarez.  And the attendance sucked.  The combination of two Months off due to the World Cup (which is understandable but still disappointing), the almost-immediate post-WC dive into a contrived intercontinental tournament that many people are still lukewarm over, and, of course, United FC's piss-poor play is damaging fan relations in a way I haven't seen since they bought into top-flight soccer in 2017.  And so this is the time when the Loons decide to win, their first Win of any Match that counts since April 18.  Thank Buddha for Joaquin Pereyra; without his Brace, they wouldn't have been able to pull off the spirit-lifting victory.

Back to league action; they visit Real Salt Lake Saturday night, then host Atlanta Wednesday.

I know it's been hotter, and I know it's been more humid.  But I swear, when I tried going to sleep in my car at work yesterday/Tuesday afternoon, I never felt more sweltering in my life.  I knew as soon as I closed my eyes that the sweat would form all over my body and that I would be drowning in it before long.  I didn't get a second of shut-eye.  So glad I conked off at around 9 Monday (I think) and woke up around 5:30 Tuesday morning.  And since I have the early shift today/Wednesday, I think my body is still good enough for only four hours of sleep ... but I still should publish this quick and go to bed!