The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -6).  For this Week's Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey, I am giving the top spot, and the ultimate superlative of Positive Numbers, to the U. of M. women's basketball team after I treat them with the all-22, so to speak, perspective.  They just played one Game this screening Week, a 78-73 Win over at Illinois on Sunday that finished their regular season.  But that gave the Golden Gophers a 13-5 record in the Big Ten, a 22-7 record overall, and, most impressive to me, fourth place and thus a double bye (you can't get more than two) in the B1G Tournament, which will start (for them) tomorrow/Friday.

On top of that, Charlie Creme says that the U. is in line for a 4-Seed in the NCAA Tournament, and thus the right to host Games for the First and Second Rounds of the Big Dance.  Compared to her first two seasons as Head Coach here, Dawn Plitzuweit has finally engineered the big turnaround in the program she was hired to do.  I wish it came much sooner.  But from what I consider the squad's nadir, blowing a nine-Point lead late at home to Maryland around the holidays, they have been in the ascendancy with a bullet.  I couldn't imaging these Gophs fighting for hosting slot.  But here they are, with a fighting chance to do that and to reach the second weekend for the first time since 2005.

They will play either Ohio St. or Indiana in their first tournament matchup.  This is a conference tournament, where motivations for teams that are already in the tourney are suspicious.  Could the U. make a run toward the B1G title Game ... and maybe win it?

#0: Timberwolves (Last Week: -1).  I was at Tuesday's victory over The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies.  But it didn't look like they were going to emerge victorious.  Memphis started out hot, especially from deep.  But Minnesota finally took a lead they didn't relinquish with about 6 1/2 Minutes left in The Third Quarter.

As wobbly as they looked, that Win completed a 3-0 screening Week for the Wolves.  They've won four in a row.  They sit fourth in the West, tied in Games behind the conference leader (which are The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics) with The Bastard San Diego Rockets.  They're not looking polished as they win, but they're winning.  This Week will be a busy one.  They finish a three-Game homestand with Games against Toronto and Orlando, then they'll visit both Los Angeles clubs Tuesday (The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers) and Wednesday (The Bastard Buffalo Braves-cum-San Diego Clippers).

#-1: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -2).  I feel bad that this club had a really good Week, going 4-1, but I put them down here because of what the Gopher women's b-ball team and the T-Wolves.  The only blemish was Sunday's 8-3 Loss at U. S. Bank Stadium to Kansas, which gave the Jayhawks a split of the four-Game series vs. Minnesota.  The Gophers did sweep Wisconsin-Milwaukee in a two-showdown set, also at Oooooos-Bahnk Stadium, Tuesday and last/Wednesday night.  I don't know if this is the apex of their season.  I hope not; they deserve more shine than I'm giving them this competitive Week in local sports.

This weekend is the Cambria Classic, formerly sponsored by Dairy Queen.  Unlike in years past, the field is, well, a caliber below.  No BcS schools here besides Northwestern.  The others are Southern Illinois (the Salukis and the Wildcats are the two teams Minnesota will not play), UNLV, South Dakota St., and Nebraska-Omaha.  I will hopefully be there to see all three Games, and all six teams, play on Saturday.  After that, the Gophs have a mid-Week two-fer at the Vikings stadium versus Gonzaga.

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -3).  I want to delve into their tumultuous off-season, but not this Week, because I'm tired and I have to wake up for an early shift today/Thursday.  Till then, I'll note that the Loons outlasted FC Cincinnati, 1-0, on a below-freezing Saturday afternoon at Allianz Field.  It was Kelvin Yeboah cleaning up a rebound off a Free Kick.  Glad to see Yeboah contributing early in the season.  And hey, James Rodriguez should be playing soon, maybe as soon as this Saturday night, when MNUFC travel to Nashville.

#-3: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!).  It's hockey, so upsetting ranked teams will happen.  Nonetheless, considering the rough year the Gophers are having, there are still some signs of encouragement that the youngsters on the team are learning and growing.  They were at second-ranked Michigan last Thursday and Friday and got a split.  They beat the Wolverines by a 4-2 score last Thursday before they returned the favor with the exact same score Friday.  But beating an excellent team, and on the road?  Encouraging!

Final series of the regular season is tonight/Thursday night and tomorrow/Friday night, when they host second- or third-ranked (depends on which poll you look at) Michigan St.  All seven teams in the Big Ten Hockey Conference will play in the conference tournament, the Quarterfinals of which (and which the U. will play) is Wednesday.

#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4).  Beat UCLA by five at Williams Saturday afternoon, got throttle at Indiana by 30 -- egads -- Wednesday.  Eh, it's Niko Medved's first season here.  They wrap up the season home to Northwestern Saturday night.  The B1G tourney begins Tuesday, and unlike the B1G's women's tournament, all 18 teams will play in a six-round tournament.  Thankfully, Minnesota cannot be one of the four worst teams in the league and must play that Tuesday.  However, they will play Wednesday, hoping to reel off five victories in a row.  Man, conferences are too big now.

#-5: Wild (Last Week: -Infinity).  Their post-Olympics sprint begins with a 2-2 Week.  Ass-kickings at Colorado and home to Tampa Bay sandwich Losses at Utah and home to St. Louis, a Game that was tied till very late.

Because of this recent swoon, Minnesota sits in third in the Central, three Points behind The Bastard North Stars.  And it's not getting any easier: This Week they visit (Las) Vegas and said Bastard Quebec Nordiques, then come home to start a four-Game homestand with contests against The Bastard Winnipeg Jets/Phoenix Coyotes and Philadelphia.  Hopefully Quinn Hughes will stop his starfucking, else he'll be the next example of both TDS and, more importantly, ETTD.

#-6: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -7).  No, I don't give a fuck that the Gophers won their WCHA First Round series over St. Cloud St. over the weekend.  The Huskies took the Goofs to a third Game in their series.  They did that by battling the U. to a scoreless tie in regulation of Friday's Game 1, only for SCSU to pot one and steal the tilt in Overtime.  Sure, Minnesota roared back with a vengeance, taking Game 2, 4-1 and Game 3, 6-1.  But it shouldn't have taken them three goddamn Games to advance to the Frozen Faceoff, where they will square off against 2-Seed and second-ranked Ohio St. at St. Thomas' new arena in St. Paul.  I fear for the Goofs' fates.

#-7: Gopher softball (Last Week: -5).  Got blanked Thursday at for-profit diploma mill Grand Canyon, 6-0.  Then, in the Hillenbrand Invitational in Tucson, Ariz., they defeated Howard, 4-1 in eight Innings, before getting creamed by Arizona (11-2), Long Beach St. (7-0) and ... Howard again.  They now sit at 7-13 with a strength of schedule that won't dazzle anyone.  They have not demonstrated they will be an even decent team this season.

They begin conference play at Indiana for three over the weekend, then travel to the St. Louis area to play mid-Week one-offs at Southern Illinois-Edwardsville (Tuesday) and Lindenwood in St. Charles (Wednesday).