Expenses Without Receipt

Starting from Thursday, April 9:

• Well, we should really start on Easter, aka Sunday, April 5, when I went out to the Heights to finally see Psycho.  Man, that shower scene is killer.  Ticket, popcorn, pop and tip: $26.
• Later that evening *****y whacked me off.  I wanted to see her on Easter because she is a regular churchgoer and I find it somewhat ironic that she goes to church and then later that day she gives me an HJ for money, specifically: $150.
• Friday, April 3: I didn't expect to spend money, but Father wanted Powerball tickets, so out I went.  And because I have to stick to my rule of spending cash or using credit cards on a least two things in a day, I decided that I wasn't going to have veggie chips and veggie dip for dinner and instead try a mom-and-pop Latin American restaurant.  There are a few places around here that are recommended.  But they were closed by the time I went out -- I stayed to listen to the end of the South Carolina-UConn women's college basketball Semifinal and in particular Geno Auriemma's meltdown at Dawn Staley -- so I went to a place that was open but fell just below 4 1/2 stars on Google Maps: Que Taco.  Not bad.  I got their birria tacos, and they are the biggest tacos I've seen around the area yet.  Wanted to use the bathroom, but they cordoned that part of the restaurant off with chairs and a mop wringer bucket.  Might go there again if only because it's open when I want to nightcrawl.  I have the receipt (ETA at 1:19 p.m. on May 24, 2026 that I may have had the receipt, but it looks like I threw it away, so either I charged this to my credit card or I just fucked up and didn't write down the amount I paid for it, in which case, uh, oh, well, I hate myself), so this EWR is for just the tip: $2.
• Now we go back to Sunday, March 29, where I laid into ****e.  She was unstable on this day, sadly.  She called me while I was still driving to her place asking me where the hell I am.  Her cock-sucking wasn't as on point as it has been in the past.  And after we got done fucking and I laid in bed all tuckered out, she took my underwear and socks and placed them in a pile next to what what was either clothes she was going to launder or trash she was going to throw away.  I was glad I was getting dressed before she did anything to it.  But when I grabbed my boxers, I saw that they were right above a wad of either wet toilet paper or paper towels either she cleaned up the bathroom with or I used to wipe up all my cum.  There was a huge wet spot on the boxers, and I needed to wear them because I was going to a brewery afterward.  I asked ****e if I could use a hair dryer, and that did the trick.  But this is the first time something like this happened.  Whatever; I'm thinking of seeing her again next weekend.  Price: $120.
• So this brewery is doing this thing where I could bring in a Minnesota United jersey and they would remove the Target logo in the front and replace it with the Rebel Loon, a symbol of the Twin Cities' resilience and defiance in the wake of this Republican government's oppression earlier in the year.  I waited and had an early dinner and beer while they were hacking my replica Loons jersey.  But for some reason I couldn't use my card to pay for this service.  Thankfully I had enough cash on me to do it: $30.
• Back further to Monday, March 23, the date of my alma mater getting their butts handed to them by South Carolina.  Our Game-watching bar charges extra when you pay by credit card, so I now pay by cash as often as I can, and I did so on this night.  With tip: $40.
• Sunday the 22nd was the last day Hotters at The Mall Of America was open.  Sad, sad day.  Glad I got there when I did; they got so busy, and they got so cleaned out, that they closed their doors at 6 even though they usually close on Sundays at 10, I think.  Oh, and when I asked if there was any food available, my Hooters girl said they still had burger patties.  Not burger buns, but patties.  And shit, I almost ordered one.  But I settled on my Big Daddy-size Bud Light and the two shirts they still had on sale.  Didn't think I wanted such memorabilia, but when one shirt was only five bucks and another server came around saying the other shirt, really a cancer-themed crop top, was only a buck, well, I had to jump at the chance.  My last total I spent at the Megamall MOA, with tip: $40.
• And on my way out I think I saw a Girl Scout Cookies stand.  That's where I bought the Lemonades.  Glad it was a Girl Scout who did the sale and not her mom; these kids are supposed to learn how to sell and do business, right?  Paid: $6.
• Back to Saturday, March 14 ... a fellow alumni's kid is in this covers rock band.  The band is really good, and I saw on Facebook that they were playing at a brewpub close to me.  I stayed there until the snowstorm everyone was dreading started to look really bad.  But before I left I left tips for the young whippersnappers: $4.
• Shit, man, now we're really going back ... to Sunday, February 22, in fact, when I went to the Heights for the first time since I think the theater got new owners.  I went to see Battleship Potemkin, a silent film classic I have wanted to see for a long time.  It was accompanied by a solo musician who played the piano.  What I wasn't expecting was her to use a snare drum and a crash cymbal.  I have seen a silent film once or twice with a full band, but never have I heard percussion used -- but it was a very, very welcomed new experience.  Paid for the ticket with my credit card, so this total is for the popcorn, pop, and tipping the concession stand: $13.
• On Saturday the 21st I got a shave from the local barber school.  The person shaving me acted like he didn't give a shit, so I didn't give much of a tip.  See, this is why I'm willing to pay five times as much to get my face shaved.  Or, maybe I should just do it myself again.  With tip: $12.
• For Valentine's Day I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Version) to see my ATF.  Where else would I go on February 14?  So glad she was there working; she had said she didn't know if she was going to take the day off.  Cover, tips, drinks from me and ******a and 20 table dances from her ... well, I see that I didn't write the total amount down after I left the club, so I'm just going to pull an amount out of my ass and say that I spent: $230.
• Sunday, February 8: Went to Grandpa Joe's (formerly Blue Sun Soda Shop) to get some premium ginger beer and ginger ale for the cocktails I wanted to make.  I also grabbed a bottle of RC and a bottle of root beer from some company.  Six bottles that cost: $14.33.
• I think later that day, *****y came over to wank me: $150.
• Finally, on Sunday, February 1, ******e came over to wank me: $120.

Yes, I keep saying this: I need to do these more frequently.  Done through April 9.

I Need To Stop Worrying About Bad Things That Might Happen And Instead Celebrate The Good Things That Actually Happen

Had to call Mother last/Monday night because there were a lot of bills that came in.  There were also a couple letters I thought she needed to know.  One of them dealt with a credit card that is about to close if my parents don't use them soon.  She told me to put it in a bag for mail she needs to look at "When she comes back home."  And I realized that it's been three months since they left and, even though I believe them when they say they're going to stay out in Las Vegas a little longer than they usually do, eventually they are going to come back.  And that makes me sad.  Not only have I not done a damn thing in regards to going through all my stuff, but I like living here on my own, as I usually do when they're wintering.  Them coming back, whenever that is, truly feels like an invasion of privacy.  And I will rue the day when they tell me they're returning here.

But I get down like that even though I don't know when that'll be -- or, and maybe I'm thinking wishfully, if they come back.  I know I need to look at the bright side -- very bright side in the case of Michigan winning the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament later last night.  That means I have won about a grand in this big bracket pool I've competed in for the past two decades.  While I always play hoping I would win, never in my wildest dreams would I think I could beat out almost 1,300 entries to place, get this, fourth.  Sure, I would have rather won and pocketed the five-figure jackpot along with it.  But I was much, much closer to the bottom for last year's Big Dance.  Honestly, I am more proud of myself for finishing in 4th place in this than getting my degree.

That's something worth celebrating, and if I celebrate hard enough, I'll forget that one day, and maybe soon, my parents will come back home.

Still Fucking Haven't Done My Fucking Taxes Yet

One of the things I try to do in the month of March when it comes to taxes is list, in my day planner, all the numbers that I need to fill out the returns -- wages, withholding, capital gains, etc.  Well, it's down to the penultimate day and I still haven't done it.  Is it laziness?  Sure, maybe.  But I've been pulling down overtime like the dickens this month.  Also, I've been preparing for March Madness by doing research, and then ... well, yeah, I've been going out.  There are a lot of freebies I can get at restaurants, and by the time I'm done and come back home, I'm just tuckered out.

Things are going to be tight the next two days, too.  I'm seeing Project Hail Mary (in IMAX for only five bucks through my wireless carrier) tonight/Monday night.  Then, tomorrow/Tuesday is a day off for me.  Not to do my taxes, but something much funner than that, namely bringing in my parents' minivan for an oil change and tire rotation it might not need but I'm gonna do anyway because they won't tell me if it needs them.  Also, back when it was colder, I started the van and saw exhaust coming out of the passenger side.  Going to have them look at it, see if anything can be done, and how much it will cost to fix.  Oh, and anything else they see.  Hey, it's a beat-up car, but I need it to run, so if there's anything I can do to extend its life, I'll do it.  Shh, don't tell my folks.

OK, that ain't so fun.  But assuming nothing catastrophic happens when I bring it in in the morning, I'll have the rest of the day to watch the World Cup Playoffs.  There are still six spots available for the tournament taking place in the summer, and those spots are going to be determined in Matches played that day, specifically five in the afternoon and one at 10 at night.  I am going to see them all, if at all possible.  In particular, I'm going to my alumni Game-watching bar for the 10 p.m. Match.  It's for the last spot in the World Cup, and I want to enjoy seeing it.

Yeah, so with all that, how does one do their taxes?  Hell, how does one even begin to even look at their taxes??  I know, right???

Best Sleep I Ever Had ... Most Awkward Morning I'll Ever Have

Work was hell yesterday.  They were short-staffed at data entry, so the person who would've helped me in The Third Department was keying most of the day.  Thank goodness she was able to help out near the end of the day; there were stacks of papers that allowed tests to be processed, and honestly, I had so much other shit I needed to do that all of that stuff would not have gotten done.  That's a lot of tests that would've waited till today, and people would not have been happy.

Still, I was busy with my own shit.  I knew before coming in to work yesterday that we would be short-staffed.  I had plans yesterday to eat dinner, then go see roller derby.  But leaving work on Thursday all tired and ragged, I was afraid that I wouldn't have time between work and roller derby yesterday, so I broke my planned edict not to spend any money on Thursday and ate dinner (and grab that free birthday ice cream cup) at Culver's.  And, sure enough, I had to stay an extra couple hours at work, so once I decided I hate to shut things down, I immediately went to roller derby, which was an excellent time featuring a championship bout where one team came back from, like, 40 points down in the First Half to take the lead late, only to lose by two Points at the end.

I ate at roller derby, and since this was in a good part of town to eat, I ate a knockoff Taco Bell crunchwrap close by.  And then coming home I was listening to Duke's buzzer-beater over LSU in the Women's Tournament Regional Semifinal.  It was 11:30 by the time I got to my bed, and I think my body was telling me to go to bed.  I figured if I'm not that tired, I would wake up from a nap.

But I didn't.  I woke up when normal people wake up, around 8 or so.  I didn't expect to have a full night's sleep, and at a time when you "should," but I did and I feel really good, of course.

Then, I felt really good.  Part of me going to bed easily was because I wanted to avoid the news about whether Tennessee lost to Iowa St.  I had the Volunteers winning, and it was an important pick to keep my bracket alive for the big, big money.  I saw a skeet that Tennessee was up by one at halftime, but that was it.  I knew I had to finally find out the final (if only because I had to post on Facebook about it), so I looked at my Yahoo! Sports app ... and I saw that they blew out the Cyclones in the Second Half and won going away!  Yippee!!!

Quick update on my bracket: I went 7-0 in Round 3.  I still have Arizona, Duke and Michigan in Round 4, and I think I still am in contention for winning it all.  Out of a thousand people (give or take), I went from a tie for 15th to, get this, fourth.  I think there's a way for me to end up on top, but a lot of things have to break my way.  Meanwhile, there are so many entries that there's one guy who picked Illinois and Tennessee in the Final Four, and he's right up there at the top of the leaderboard with me.

---

And now the other shoe drops: No Kings.  Everybody's going.  Well, everybody but me.  I decided this week not to go.  There is work because they are short-staffed today as well.  And, call me paranoid, but I know that there is surveillance from the federal (don't know about the state) government going on.  I walk on the State Capitol, where everybody is, and there's no telling whether there's going to be a drone recording all of our faces.

I hate that I'm thinking this way.  I hate that I'm chickening out and using work as an excuse, and I am.  I am getting total FOMO right now, and the rallies haven't even started yet, because, even though it's been mentioned in many places, the No Kings March in St. Paul is going to be recognized as The Flagship No Kings March.  Out of the thousands of protests that are and will be going on around the world, it'll be ours in St. Paul regarded as the touchstone.  Senator Bernie Sanders will be there.  So will Bruce Springsteen.  And the more I write about this, the more I regret not going.

And the worst thing about this is the text I got on Messenger.  One of my friends, who has been talking to me off and on about this current installed government, just asked me if I was going.  She, of course, is going, and more power to her.  But I don't know how to tell I'm not going.  We've talked about how much we hate this government and are trying to figure out how to rebel against them.  Surely I would go to something like this, right?  No.  And I don't know how to tell her.

I think she's waiting on an answer.  Maybe I'll take a shower and think up something.  How awkward.

Where My Scatterbrained Stupid Self Pretty Much Fucked Everything Up

I want to think things went downhill as soon as Florida got upset by Iowa last/Sunday night in the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament.  I had them losing in the title Game.  With that pick gone to seed, I think my chances of winning either of my bracket pools has also gone to seed.

I got the notification from The Athletic while I was about to go into Target.  I had that 5% birthday discount I wanted to use, but I had been thinking all day on how to and even if I should use it.  I knew I wanted to buy baking soda and a new silicone scrubber to replace my dirty loofah (I should blog post about that loofah later).  But what else?  I need to maximize my discount by buying things I need to get, but I kept going back and forth about whether there are items I only wanted to get.  A circle lock, for when I rent out a second storage unit so I can finally really get down to organizing my stuff?  Well, they didn't have one.  Motor oil?  Nah -- I checked prices on my phone while I was in there; it's cheaper in a few other stores.  Should I get a lime?  I think I'll be out and about again next weekend, so it wouldn't make sense.  I swear there was something else I thought I needed to get, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember.  But I did remember the baking soda and scrubber, so that's what I got, and I was able to strike a whopping 60 cents off my total.  Happy Birthday to me!

And then I come home and, once I went into my bathroom, I realized there was something else I really wanted to get: Tea tree oil to put on the back of my head to get rid of the acne back there.  And I knew I was going to forget something when I went to Target.  I thought about writing a grocery list, but I didn't want to write it down, and I didn't want to bring a piece of paper with me.  Still, I knew there would be a good chance I would forget something, and still I didn't want to write anything down.  And so the tea tree oil I really want to buy I will have to buy without that 5% birthday discount.  I'm so ashamed I think I'll have to buy it at Wal-Mart, where I think it's probably a bit more expensive than if I bought it at Target, even without the 5%.  Can't walk back in to Target without hanging my head in shame.

---

I just ate a Krispy Kreme donut with milk.  The Krispy Kremes were free through its application because it was my birthday.  But I didn't want to eat them all at once.  In fact, my OCD compels me to eat them only every other day.  And it turns out I skipped a day.  Hopefully the last one lasts till Tuesday.

Doughnuts, of course, go with milk.  And this quart of milk I had bought, hmmm, some time ago.  I thought it was still good because the use by date stamped on top of the bottlecap reads today/Monday.  So, just like I have done, I poured some milk into a bowl into which I dunk the doughnut.  Once I finish with the doughnut, I slurp up the rest.  But this time, motherfucker, it tasted funny.  And then I smelled it.  Honestly, it smelled kind of funky for, like, a week before today, but it smelled even worse now.  Goddammit, I think I just drank spoiled milk.  I dumped the rest out of the bowl, then dumped the rest out of the bottle.  I thought it would still be good!  But come to think of it, when I opened it for the very first time (I don't remember how long ago), I saw that part of the cap was already pulled away from its rim.  And maybe I'm being a hypochondriac, but I am feeling really dizzy right now.  A little dissociative, too, like I'm not a part of this body that is typing this right now.

But the thing that kills me (literally?) more than wasting milk is the fact that I had, oh, three weeks to finish off a quart of 2% milk and I couldn't fucking do it.  It was just a quart!  Maybe my lactose intolerance gave me second thoughts.  But I had plans on using a lot of it in a smoothie I was going to make.  I have the fruit in the freezer.  But I was going to make it only after I work out, and I've been too damn busy to work out, so I haven't made the smoothie, so I haven't used the milk that way.  Reminds me that I also have greek yogurt inside my refrigerator.  It has a stamped sell-by date of April 16, but that fuckin' stamp did me no favors with the milk, so for all I know, the yogurt's already bad, too.  Might need to bring it with me to work this week.

---

You know what?  I thought I had a third thing I needed to blog post about illustrating how my dumb ass was fucking myself in another, but I forgot.  Oh, my self-destruction is so meta!

My Buddha, I Think I'm The Bracket King

So I have bitched and bitched here for years about how badly I start off the men's basketball tournament.  This year is different, by far.

I still can't believe this, but I just finished Round 1 with a record of, get this, 29-3.  I have never done better in a Round 1 in my life, and it ain't fuckin' close.  I'm sure my best is, like, 17-15, or maybe even 18-14.  But only three wrong?  Moreover, those three I got wrong (Ohio St., St. Mary's, and Villanova) I had going out in the next Round.  That means that my champion pick (Michigan), the title pairing (Florida), my Final Four (Duke and Arizona), my Elite Eight and my Sweet Sixteen are all intact.  Obviously I have never, ever been able to say that before.

While this puts me in a position way better than I ever have been before in the two bracket competitions I'm in, I know that, because there are so many people playing in the giant pool I care more about (because I could win a lot of money), there are people who are doing even better than me.  It sucks to have a year where you nearly nailed all of the upsets and, just as important, knew to avoid the wrong upsets.  I thought I was Senor Hotshit when I went 14-2 after Thursday.  I wasn't even on the leaderboard.  I wasn't even on the second page.

So the Games continue, and once I again my nearly-pristine bracket will stand in judgement.  There are many Games in Round 2 I need to break the right way, and if, somehow and someway, I can get the picks right at the same rate as I have up to this point ... I might have a good tournament.  Wish me luck!

An Easy Day Turned Into A Busy Night

I did one of the main chores I wanted to do on my birthday: Rake the roof.  I did that after I took a hard nap, so I was energized going into the evening, where I wanted to watch the World Baseball Classic title Game (won by Venezuela, 3-2 over the Americans) while working on my bracket.

There was one other thing I wanted to do: Clear the back deck of the half-foot of snow.  I was going to do it during the WBC, but I wanted to wait until it stopped flurrying.  Then, I got caught up on the close Game, plus I was really crunching the data on the bracket.  Then the Game got really interesting, so I decided I would shovel after the Game was over.

But gosh darnit, right after the trophy ceremony, my sister called.  And of course I had to talk to her for an hour about stuff.  Just then I remembered I had to do something else: Send out an important e-mail that had to be sent today/Wednesday or else my alumni association was going to get pissed.  That's when I had to end my phone call with my sis.  But then, instead of immediately going out to shovel, I went back to number-crunching for my bracket.  I finally got out to shovel around midnight.

Thankfully, sending out the e-mail was easy.  But I still need to think about my bracket, and I finally got around to blog posting this.  And I am tired, and I should go.  Peace.

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Saturday, January 17:

• We go back to Wednesday, January 14, when I summoned up the courage and went down to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Division) to see my ATF, whom I hadn't seen in a while because my parents were in town.  Cover, tips, drinks for her and for me and 19 table dances that I rounded up to 20 to make the money exchange easier and I spent: $233.
• On Saturday the 10th I took my friend, who was in town for work, to my favorite speakeasy.  I feel like I need to impress people when I take them there, but I hope they like it.  I think my friend did.  There was a jazz band there and I wanted to tip them even though I mainly wanted to speak with my friend.  I tipped the band: $5.
• Tuesday, January 6 ... after I took my parents to the airport, I went over to ****e's place and fucked her.  She didn't go after my cock a second time in the living room like she did the time before.  But she seemed really enthusiastic when I finally got inside her.  Well, first I really ate her meat curtains, which looked really, really full.  Then, while I was plunging into her, she sounded really, really enthusiastic, like she really needed to be nailed.  I tried arcing her back (she was on the bed and I was doing her missionary style) and lifting her up and into me.  It probably wasn't smooth, but she acted like she loved it, and therefore I loved it.  Cost: $120.
• So now we go back to 2025, specifically Tuesday, December 23, when my parents paid me back for grabbing both Kentucky Fried Chicken and lottery tickets.  Mother gave me ten bucks when I came home that night with KFC, and either Mother or Father left a pair of $20's for me when I came back from shopping.  All told, this was an Infusion of: $50.
• Oh, and before I shopped I went downtown to make sure our watering hole was cool with us watching our Game down there.  With tip, I spent for a little snack and drink there: $10.
• To Sunday the 21st ... Father paid me back for more Powerball tickets I got for him.  And Infusion of: $11.
• And early that afternoon I went to my downtown watering hole (the same place I'd be going to on Tuesday) because I wanted to finally put in for new glasses with my new prescription, and I wanted to see the Vikings Game at a place besides my bedroom, and Warby Parker was just around the corner.  I was going to go to Warby Parker first, but I thought they would open at 11, and they opened at noon, which is when the Vikings Game kicked off, so I went to watch and eat first before ordering my new eyeglasses.  Anyway, with tip I spent at the bar: $38.
• To Friday, December 19 -- went to order in-person at Caribou a small ho ho mint mocha.  With tip it came out to an expensive: $7.38.
• Tuesday the 16th I had off because that's when I brought my car in for service.  Once it got a clean bill of health and routine maintenance was the only thing(s) it needed, I went to get it washed for all the snow, salt and gunk that had accumulated.  Charged the wash so the cash is for the tip only: $5.
• With my car being as brand new as it could be, I had the confidence (as well as the time; if there was something major that needed to be replaced, I would have had to spend my day at the shop) to call up *****y and say if I and my penis could make a house call.  She had moved to her new place close to the border, but my car could make it the morning after getting new oil and its tires rotated.  The apartment she shares with her son feels more like a cottage.  No matter; unlike the townhome she used to live in, where we had to hide in her bedroom, she wanked me on the couch in the living room, right where the front door is.  If the blinds weren't closed, someone would have been able to see *****y pull up her sweater to show her big tits inside her bra, me getting hard from seeing that, me slipping out of my jeans and her jacking me off.  I don't know if I would drive all the way to see her again, but maybe!  Total: $150.
• Later, when I came back home for dinner with Kentucky Fried Chicken in tow, Father paid me back for the chicken and for Powerball tickets.  An Infusion of: $31.

This list was getting long in the tooth, but I did this EWR faster than the past couple ones.  Good through January 17.

Hate Zynga Poker (Right Now)

The last two times I've played Zynga Poker I busted.  And both times I played in order to avoid relegation back down to Stage III.  That's probably an inevitability now.  And to think I used some coins to get up to the $2 billion minimum to play Omaha, which is the way I play now because of the easier format and the potential billions you can "make" in a short period of time.  I lost it all in a short period of time, that's what I did.  Hate this.

Expenses Without Receipt

Past time to do this again.  Starting from Sunday, December 14:

• Actually, let's go back to Monday, December 8, which is when Father paid me back for both lottery tickets and the denture sticky strips he needs to eat.  He was scouring the entire city looking for them, and he said he couldn't find them.  Hey, the Internet's good for some things.  An Infusion of: $21.
• And back on Wednesday the 3rd Father also paid me back, this time for Kentucky Fried Chicken as well as lottery tickets.  An Infusion of: $20.
• All the way back to Sunday, November 16 (damn, I need to do these more frequently) ... so I was in town so I went from the airport to ****e's place, where she proceeded to (after an early lunch) yank my cock out of my pants to suck it, and then to fuck.  Goddamn, I don't know where I'd be without her.  Cost: $120.
• And then on the way back I needed to fill up my gas tank.  This was one of those times where I overestimated how much I needed to put in, so when the host stopped, I had to go back inside to get the difference.  Thought $23 was going to be enough, but instead I only needed: $22.30.
• All the way back (again) to Sunday, October 26 (I have to do these more often!) -- I was supposed to fuck ****e then, I went all the way down there, but she wasn't even fucking there.  I still had the urge, however, so I pivoted quickly to calling ******e could give me a wank, and thank Buddha, she could.  Paid her: $120.
• Friday, October 24: I wished Great Clips gave out coupons more often.  Haircuts (there and everywhere) are getting fucking expensive!  Everybody is seeing inflation in their own way, and I see it most starkly when I get a haircut.  It's making me think I should go to a barber school and get them done for cheap.  But I went on Facebook and found a $10 off coupon for Great Clips, and I was able to use it then.  With tip: $14.99.
• Back on Friday the 17th I paid my co-worker back when, on a previous day (don't remember when), she asked if anyone wanted anything at Caribou.  I was really jonesing for oatmeal, so I promised to pay her back, and I think I did it on this day: $4.
• Finally, three EWRs on Thursday, October 16.  First, I went to see ******e for a HJ: $120.
• Then I went to Bebe Zito for lunch, namely a honey chicken tenders basket.  With tip: $15.14.
• Finally, with that basket in tow, I walked next door to Caffetto to pair it with a Dog 'n' Suds root beer.  With thip that root beer cost me: $4.54.

Hmmm ... thought that would take longer.  Phew!

Good through December 14.

Just got on sort of a holy roll on Zynga Poker with someone, probably a bot, where, for the past, oh, 15 to 20 minutes of the half-hour I was playing (I have no idea how long I was playing; that's a sure sign of a gambling addiction), it was just me and him.  Usually, people (or bots) come in and take the other available spots, but nope, it was just this "guy" and me.

It's so addicting if you win big pots, like I did early, especially when there were other people besides this "dude" and me.  That hooks you into thinking you can win, and hooks you into pursuing that next winning fix, even though we're dealing with fake money here.  And then, as I really started losing "money" to this "person," I found it very difficult to pull away -- partly because I wanted to win, partly because I lost so much that I wanted to "get right" by winning, partly because the next hand came in immediately after the results of the previous hand because there weren't more "players" at the "table" to slow down play.  I had to leave by folding $100 million (in fake money) because I wanted to stop and I was losing all the money I came in with and then some.

When you get rolling, gambling, even fake online Omaha like I did, is intensely addicting.  Oy.

Checking In On How I'm Doing In Fantasy Football And ... Eesh

I was doing so, so good in fantasy football to start the year.  But then the goddamn bye weeks came and I have gone into sort of a tailspin.

I am part of three fantasy football leagues.  Ironically, I am doing the worst in the one I am commissioner for.  It is also the only one of the three where we auction, which is the format that is the most involved and, because I was the only one who fuckin' showed up for the auction, the league where I basically got to pick my own team.  And now, my own team sucks.

That's not as bad as the team in another league where I started out, like, 4-0.  I think I've lost five-of-six since then.  The absolute lowest of the low came this week, where I had three guys going in Sunday's late Games with a good chance of overcoming the deficit I had ... and I didn't.  What's worse is that I had on the bench Jayden Higgins, a Wide Receiver for The Houston Texans, who put up enough fantasy football points that, if I had put him in for either a WR or a player in one of the Flex Positions, I would have won.  That's the game of fantasy sports for you, but goddammit, I hate that.

This is the league I gamble in.  I went from cruising into the winners' bracket to fighting for my fucking fantasy football playoff life.  And that really sucks.

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Wednesday, October 15:

• Well, we have to go back to Monday, October 13, when I finally made it out to *****e's party.  Partly it's because I have been told to cut down on the OT.  Partly it was because *****e has been so damn persistent.  But mostly it's because **y was going to work the party.  I don't want to spill all the details here, but let's just say that I got what I wanted in way less than an hour.  And even though I really can't spend the money I spent (for cover and a "bed fee" as well as the service rendered), I have to say it was well spent: $235.
• We go back to Saturday, October 11, where I got my car washed.  When was the last time I got the car washed?  Anyway, I got it washed on my way to watching my alma mater defeat Michigan.  I was afraid that there would be a huge line, but there was no car at all when I pulled in.  Maybe the last hour on a weekend fall day is a slow one for car washes.  I was impressed by the customer service by these guys this day.  I was bringing a box of free stuff for the game-watching event, and one asked if I wanted to put the box back in after they finished vacuuming the interior.  No thanks, I brought it in with me as the car was going through the exterior wash, but I appreciate it.  Then, after they were all done, the guy opened the back door for me to put the box in.  I paid cash for the whole thing, so including tip, this was: $31.46.
• While watching the game I had a Pepsi, an Angry Orchard, chicken wings and a giant pretzel.  I guess I didn't get any of these things during their happy hour, but I was surprised by how much I spent.  With tip: $56.
• And to heck with it ... even though I know for a fact that my sister gave me this money the day before (Friday, October 10), I'm including it on October 11 because I was using cash all day.  I am not sure why she gave me money.  Was it for the late dinner we had after our successful run out of the escape room?  An Infusion of: $10.
• ETA on Friday, October 17 at 11:09 a.m. that I totally forgot that I went to see Bride of Frankenstein Monday, September 29.  It was a surprise sold-out show, but thankfully, I got in through the waitlist.  I can see why it was a classic, but the part that stands out to me?  Only 75 minutes long.  I hate that I don't remember jotting down how much I spent.  I know I used cash for the ticket, popcorn, pop and tips to the concessions and the organist.  I think it was a total of: $31.
• Let's go back to Saturday, September 27, where I just needed to be on my own and decided to go to the Black Hart because I haven't seen an MNUFC Match there in quite some time.  (The bar, by the way, is running a game-watching contest where they give up prizes halfway and at the end of the regular season.  The more times you watch a Game there, the more chances you can win.)  They run a special on Fulton Lonely Blonde, so I got a glass of that on this night.  With tip: $7.
• To Tuesday the 23rd ... needed to use my Hooters coupon for the month of September, so I went down there ... only to be told that they have no offer like that on their menu.  So why in the hell do I have a coupon for it?  I don't think the Hooters corporation really knows what's going on in all of their departments.  Anyway, I sat and ate anyway, so plus tip I spent: $28.
• On Tuesday the 16th I went to ******e's new place in the afternoon, where she wanked me: $120.
• And I also forgot I saw another classic movie at my local arthouse theater Monday the 15th: The Great Dictator.  It was billed according to the theater as "possibly the most important comedy of all time."  That billing isn't wrong; it stands up and sticks to our current mess, almost in haunting echoes.  I think I charged money for the popcorn and pop, so this EWR is for the ticket and the tips to concessions and the organist.  I spent in cash I think: $17.
• Back to Tuesday, September 9 -- had to visit my downtown Game-watching bar to let management know we're coming in that Saturday.  Ate and drank there.  With tip: $16.
• Friday the 5th: Went to a house party where I got double-teamed by *****y and *****a.  I have been serviced by both before -- I have even gone all the way with *****a once -- but not together.  And to be honest, I think I was hustled into spending way more money than I wanted to.  First of all, *****y just asked *****a to be part of our bed dance.  Then, even though I got all naked, they didn't do anything with my pee-pee.  We were spending too much time at the bed and I got the feeling they were just going to stop.  Finally, I think I agreed to the price I think I needed to meet for them to both wank me: $150 apiece.  I didn't even have that much cash on me; I needed to Venmo *****a the rest of the $150 I owed her.  But they finally put hands to penis, and I'm glad that two women I have seen for years did a tandem HJ on me.  But I was reminded yet again that sometimes, *****y wants to extract more money from me when I don't want to.  Other strippers don't do that, and even though they're not as gorgeous as *****y is, I don't have to deal with that bullshit.  Total: $250.
• The Powerball jackpot cleared a billion (at least), and I needed to get Powerball tickets for the family: $10.
• And Father paid me back for the Powerball tickets I got for him in previous days; I know he did not pay me back on September 5, I'm just putting it here.  An Infusion of: $10.
• Finally, back on Tuesday, September 2, I saw the reboot of The Naked Gun.  I remember laughing my ass off to the original (movie at least; I know the old The Naked Gun was based on a short-lived TV show), and I think my younger self would love the new one, even though it's still difficult to picture Oskar Schindler as a slapstick comedian.  It was a neat diversion, though, filled with zingers and one-liners that comedies just don't do these days.  The local theater has half-off tickets on Tuesdays and Wednesdays (at least for now), and I took advantage of that: $4.32.

Good through October 15.

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Labor Day, also known as Monday, September 1:

• We start at Sunday, August 31, which was my last of four days at The Minnesota State Fair.  I noticed that did not get too many of the new foods because, like I said in a previous blog post, there wasn't a consensus new food (well, besides the soft serve beer, which may not be a food) that I would wait for hours to try.  (And by the way, the lines to the soft serve beer were non-existent.  It was hyped all over the place, as I did in that same previous blog post, but did it make enough money that justified a return on investment?)  There was that ube lumpia that I waited in line for, but it was getting late and the line didn't seem to move, so I bailed.  What I did get were the Maple Cream Nitro Cold Press Coffee from the Farmers Union; Granny's Green Apple Sucker Ice Cream; the new Aegean Dream beer from Dino's; a Cider Freeze, that iced apple juice in a plastic tube considered to be the cheapest Fair food you can find for many, many years; a corn dog (not a pronto pup, a corn dog, and it's the first time I've ever had a corn dog, I think); and an Aloha Pineapple Haze that was being sold only from the eating establishments inside the Warner Coliseum.  All told, I spent: $40.50.
• And Father paid me for getting Powerball tickets for him.  It's an Infusion of: $10.
• Saturday the 30th was the start of my alma mater's football season, and I'm glad they kicked ass.  This place upcharges for credit cards, and since the State Fair was replete with vendors that also did that, plus the Powerball being where it is right now, and I have used cash like I haven't since before the pandemic.  And this is a good thing because I should want to avoid giving away money if I don't have to, right?  With tip I paid: $32.
• Friday the 29th was my third trip to the Fair.  Had the yuzu meringue Croffle Cloud; the Bama! Lemon Sweet Tea mocktail; the Cherry Bigfoot Limeade Float from Tasti-Whip; the newest apple creation from the University of Minnesota, the First Kiss; a Bee-Nana Pie, one of the stalwarts of last year's rookie class of new foods; and the second time I had that Soft Serve Royal Raspberry Beer from West End Brews.  Total: $54.
• Tuesday, August 26 -- Father, paying me back for Powerball tickets, an Infusion of: $10.
• And I went to my game-watching bar to make sure everything was set for Saturday.  With tip I shelled out: $15.
• Monday the 25th: Father paid me back for Powerball, but I'm sure he didn't exactly pay me back on this date; I just put it here because I used cash on this day and I have a rule that if you are using one form of currency to pay for something, you need to use it again so it won't be lonely.  Anyway, this is an Infusion of: $50.
• To Sunday, August 24 ... I spent the evening going to Palmer's Bar, presumably for the last time, so I could see Cornbread Harris play as part of his longstanding Sunday night residency.  It'll end after three more Sundays because one of the owners stole from the century-old bar to pay for his drug addiction, and the other owners could not make up for that deficit, so they sold them the bar and, I assume, the land beneath it.  Fucking shame.  I tried to see Cornbread Harris play, but instead of the riser at the back of the bar, he just played on the floor at the front.  That meant there was a sea of people just standing in front of me, basically blocking my view of Mr. Harris for the whole two hours.  I was able to fight toward the band as other groups, who were talking to each other and not really there to see Cornbread, backed off.  But I got the feeling that in such a busy environment, everyone had the right to get close to the music as possible, so I cycled myself away, grabbed a second beer, sat outside and just drank through the end of the first set, intermission, and the beginning of the second set.  Not quite what I expected when my friend said we should go (she didn't join me), but I'm glad to have heard Mr. Harris and to be in that Minneapolis institution one final time.  Minneapolis Cider plus tip, tips for the band, and a mild polish sausage from a cart vendor who was just outside Palmer's: $17.
• Oh, before I took the light rail to Palmer's I dove into this, er, really clean downtown bodega called the Players Club.  I got Powerball tickets there totalling: $12.
• On Saturday the 23rd I went to The Great Minnesota Get-Together for the second time, primarily to see the Grandstand concert which was Atmosphere & Friends.  I wish I got the Somali Street Fries, but I had no idea at the time that the reviews would be nearly unanimous in their praise for it.  But I did go out on a limb and purchased the Sweet Squeakers (as well as a trusty small blueberry basil lemonade) from the Blue Barn; a frozen Blu from West End Brews (which I think is just LuLu's); and a Cherry Bigfoot Limeade Float.  Total damage: $44.75
• Thursday, August 21 ... went to the opening day (actually evening) of the State Fair since I got out of work at a decent hour to put in a properly long visit.  I usually go during the first day to knock off the mainstays I want to eat; my plan, even though I didn't really follow it this year, was to devote other visits to the new foods.  So, I got a pina colada from Manny's Tortas; the cheese curds from Mouth Trap; a honey lemonade (with tip) from the honey exhibit in the Agriculture-Horticulture Building; fried pickles; that soft-serve beer for the first time; a Minnecookiedough Pie; and a lychee colada from Union Hmong Kitchen at which I believe I got fucked out of six cents due to a combination of the owner not differentiating between cash and charge prices, the owner not getting dimes or nickels or pennies for change, and a really, really shitty cashier.  They had a new food for the Fair, but I stayed the hell away from them because I was upset.  Anyway, I notice that I usually get my fill of Fair food and drink once I cross the $50 threshold.  On this first day, I blew way, way past that: $72.75.
• To Wednesday the 20th, where I had the day off and spent the afternoon going to get my car washed.  I charged the wash, so I used cash for the tip: $5.
• I then got a shave from the learning school close by.  With tip: $14.
• Father paid me back for Powerball tickets, but I doubt he paid me back on this exact date.  An Infusion of: $20.
• On Tuesday, August 19 I fucked ***i*.  And thank Buddha inflation hasn't hit with her: $120.
• Monday the 18th ... I needed money to buy lottery tickets, so I stopped by the bank to get money.  I then walked over to Caribou to get a small mocha with oak milk, and I thought I might as well pay with cash instead of through the app.  I was shocked at how pricey it was.  Well, mochas these days are expensive, but I thought that oat milk for me was going to be free.  Turns out oat milk is free only if purchasing through the application; otherwise, it's a buck extra.  Well, shit, good to know.  But at least I got the trivia question right.  With tip: $7.03.
• Went to Hooters after work to use a calendar coupon.  Hooters also upcharges if you use your credit card, so I now primarily pay with moolah when at Hooters.  With tip: $32.
• Saturday, August 16 -- after watching the MNUFC Match I moseyed on over to the Midway Saloon.  I had a ton of beer that day, but I was thirsty, so I just bought a Coke.  With tip: $5.50.
• Father paid me back for Powerball tix, but I'm sure he didn't pay me back on this exact day.  Still, an Infusion of: $20.
• To Tuesday the 12th, where I went to my alumni game-watching bar to make sure 1) the bar was still standing and 2) that they would still welcome us.  With tip: $14.
• Father paid me back for Powerball tix, but I'm sure he didn't pay me back on this exact day.  Still, an Infusion of: $20.
• On Monday, August 11 I wanted to go to the Heights Theater to see Waiting For Guffman, which I have heard many great things about.  It's OK; it has those quotable lines ("I hate you, and your ass face!"), but otherwise it has that cringe mockumentary approach that I find somewhat condescending.  Paid money for the ticket, a small pop and popcorn, and tips for concessions and the organ player: $30.
• Back to Saturday, July 26 ... Palmfest was at Palmer's Bar.  It's a weekend-long festival of local bands just, you know, playing, which was Palmer's total reason to exist, and that reason was mover than enough.  Cover, an orange Jameson slushie, a Fulton 300, and tips for those two drinks came out to: $29.
• Wednesday the 23rd: Went to A Bar Of Their Own to watch a Women's EURO Semifinal.  It was raining cats and dogs out there, damn.  With tip I paid: $28.
• Father paid me back for Powerball tickets, and then some.  I think he paid me on this exact date.  An Infusion of: $20.
• Monday the 21st was the last week where **y said she could accommodate my, uh, carnal needs because her daughter was in class.  I hadn't been serviced by her in a long, long time.  Partly it was because of the distance, partly because she had people staying with her for an extended period.  But it was worth the wait because, like I said when I (kind of) blog posted about her, she bit my pee-pee.  Goddamn, that was glorious!  Total: $150.
• **y and I talked for a little bit, to catch up on old times.  She only went topless, but she put her bra and shirt on while I was laying on her daughter's bad, completely naked with my legs open.  But I had to leave, unfortunately.  Not only did she need to pick up her daughter, I had to go meet a friend who was only going to be in town until the next afternoon.  So I had to drive all the way from the south metro to the north to pick her up and decide to have a quick beer at this place I have never been to that's kind of close to where we both live.  She used her credit card for the both of us, so I paid her back for the drink and soup I got: $23.
• Finally, back on Saturday, July 19, after an alumni function, I made my (now annual) tradition of going to Tongue In Cheek to eat.  I was going to go for the steak, but because the guy sitting next to me did, I opted, for the second year in a row, for the ramen.  I think I was there a long time because I remember intently scrolling through my phone.  Anyway, with tip I paid a very, very expensive: $76.

And once again I say to myself I have to do these more often.  Good through September 1.

My Quick Trip Over The Border Was Both Fun And Unnecessary

So I told you all about my plans on going to Wisconsin yesterday/Saturday.  Yeah, a lot of it didn't go as planned.

My phone woke me up at 11.  I was prepared then to across the border to begin my afternoon around that area.  But I checked my texts and saw that *****y, who on Friday wanted to push our session back two hours now wanted to see if I could come today/Sunday.  I have plans to work on donating my car and then going to the United FC Match.  Also, and more importantly, *****y has flaked on me like this in the past, and I was in no mood to accommodate her.  So, we cancelled.  Well, actually, we postponed, but I don't know when the hell I can see her again.  I just know that we agreed on yesterday/Saturday, and she initially sounded really excited about it.  But I didn't like her attitude.  First, she said wanted to delay because she was working like a dog and she wants to look good for me.  She's gorgeous, but frankly, I'm not going to see her because of her looks.  And then, when we decided to delay, she said, "That's too bad."  Huh?  She first begged me to change the appointment of our HJ (a second time, mind you), but to me, she now sounded like she was calling the shots when she definitely is not.  Finally, when she told me she is working out of town on weekends, and I asked her as what, she shut me down.  Excuse me?  Not a fan of small talk now that you blew me off?  Are you an assassin -- is that why you can't say what you do?

Again, she's done this before, but I've come back to her with my erection in my hands, so this will be no different.  But fuck her, I don't want to see her right now.  I'll stick to my women who can keep an appointed time, thank you very much.

---

*****y's blow-off was one of a few signs that convinced me to change my schedule.  It was raining outside, and while I don't think crossing a bridge over the St. Croix River is dangerous in that weather, I would rather not do so, especially in an area of the country I've never been to.  Finally, my boss texted asking if I could come in to work.  I was initially going to stick to my (altered) plans of going to Wisconsin in the afternoon, but I couldn't pass up making a bit more money, and besides, I could drive in the evening when it's drier.

So, I worked in the afternoon.  And even though I didn't at first want to go out in the evening, I did my beer-shopping/lottery ticket-getting then, setting Sun blasting glare everywhere notwithstanding.  So glad that I could buy individual bottles of Spotted Cow.  However, when I tried cashing in Father's winning Mega Millions ticket, the cashier at the Circle K said I couldn't because it was too old.  Father bought this ticket in October, and I thought you had a year before it expires.  But I just looked up the Wisconsin Lottery FAQ, and it says you have only 180 days.  In Minnesota it's a year, and I guess I assumed that year time period was universal when it's not.

Oh, well.  I still promised Father I would get Powerball tickets for him, and I promised the same for my sister, who wanted one once I told her I was going across the border.  Nonetheless, I have to face this fact: If I knew that I couldn't cash in this ticket, I wouldn't have gone across the river into Wisconsin, and I wouldn't have bought any beer.  This would have, and maybe should have, blown up all my big plans of making a daytrip out of Stillwater, Minn., and Houlton, Wisc.

---

Oh, and to top it all off, Mother wanted me to go to Target to buy some miniature apples.  Well, at first, when I told my parents after dinner I was going, she asked me to where.  And I find that so fucking intrusive that I told her, "I'm going out, OK?" because I didn't want them to know my business ... even though I realized that they would know I crossed the border once I gave Father the Powerball tickets I bought for him.  Anyway, she asked because she wanted to know if I was going to Target because she heard these mini-apples were sweet and delicious.  I actually hit up a Target on my way back because I wanted to pick up some POM.  I tried them last night; they're ... OK.

---

No, it wasn't necessary to drive to Wisconsin and back, because of both my plans with *****y falling through and because of the expired lottery ticket.  But I want to note that me driving to the liquor store, and then to the gas station, and then to Target on the Minnesota side, took less than two hours.  I know that the Twin Cities lies relatively close to Wisconsin, but that trip is a tad longer than going out to see my brother and sister-in-law and niece at their home in Carver County.  The border is still fairly far away, and it's not a trip I think I should be doing regularly.  But still, two hours only?  And my car seems to be in good shape?  I have to admit that I had fun last/Saturday night driving by myself to these far-flung places, I really did.

Roadtripping Into Wisconsin

So Father has a winning Mega Millions ticket he got through the Wisconsin Lottery.  I don't know how in the hell did he wind up in Wisconsin back in October, but he did, and there's four bucks we might not get back if we don't cash it in.

Meanwhile, one of my stripper girlfriends, *****y, moved back to her hometown of Stillwater.  She has invited me to her place for some sexy time, but it was difficult to find a time this summer to do it.  

However, today/Saturday is perfect, at least according to *****y.  I will go out there some time in the afternoon for my HJ, and as long as I am out there, I might as well drive across the border and into Wisconsin to cash that ticket.  I'll get some Powerball tickets for Father while I'm out there.  And who knows, I might as well go into a liquor store and buy some Spotted Cow.

My plans initially were to get my eyes checked at the local mall, go see *****y, head across the border, come back to have lunch around Stillwater, then come back to cash in on some free Chick-Fil-A nuggets and maybe get a couple juices at the grocery store.  But the local mall closed appointments earlier this week, then *****y shifted our session back a couple hours, and then (and I'm not completely proud of this) I looked at the Google reviews of the liquor store I thought I would go get beers and lottery tickets at and the couple that were written were pretty down on the place.  One of them said that the cashier would steal your lottery money.

So I just searched for a better place to get liquor, and it's down in Hudson, several miles south of Stillwater.  So now the plan is to immediately jump the border, get some liquor, drive to a gas station (apparently Circle Ks are big in Wisconsin, at least in western Wisconsin) to cash in and then buy tickets, then eat Mexican, then get my freak on and then do my shopping closer to home.  All the while I'll be putting some serious miles and wear on my car, but I'm not worried since I got it serviced a couple weeks ago.  If it somehow breaks down so soon after maintenance, it's not worth keeping.

Wish me luck that all of this is not hectic, but fun.

Lost All My Fake Poker Money

I got up to, like, more than $57 million, but I lost it all overnight.  I was being slowly bled dry, and then I had three 3's so I shoved, but this motherfucking AI player (or maybe he/she/they is real, who knows?) who was holding two hearts (I was playing Omaha, by the way) got hearts on the last card of the flop, the turn, and then the goddamn river, and now I have nothing.

What bullshit.  (Probably cheated, who knows?)  And I don't know why I'm so mad that I lost all this fake money.  Whatever.  I didn't get to Pro Level V, but it looks like I will stick at Pro Level IV.  In the meantime I'll take some time to grow my bankroll and, hey, maybe I'll get another chance to sucker some crazy gambler/bot into giving me his/her/their tens of billions like before.  And if I need to be relegated a class or two, I'm OK with that.  Just to erase this bad memory.

I've Become A Shark!

A poker shark to be precise!  I won a hand or two earlier in the week, and that somehow boosted me up the leaderboard into the top ten, meaning that if I stayed there, I would get promoted from Pro Level I to Pro Level II.  Well, I had some time just now and I played Zynga Poker again and I was able to win a few more hands that were worth billions in fake money.  Not only did I zoom up the leaderboard, I "made" so much money I automatically got promoted to Pro Level I ...

... and then Pro Level II, Pro Level III and Pro Level IV, also!  I didn't even know I got these promotions until I noticed the little insignia next to my avatar.  I don't really know how I did it.  I think I won as many hands as I did when I was in Rookie Class, but either I'm wrong, the payouts are much bigger, the competition is not as fierce as I thought it would be ... or I'm pretty damn good.  Or it's all of the above.

And Zynga told me that if I make $5 billion more before Sunday night, I would be automatically promoted into Pro V.  That's a lot of steps to climb over the course of, like, 72 hours, but I should go back and play some more.  Shoot, if you're hot, you're hot!

Tryna Line Up All My Hoes

So I have a long weekend coming up.  I initially thought I would stay with my stripper girlfriend, ********a, out there so we could get down and dirty, but her septic tank is now broken, so she can't use any water there.  Yikes.

I then thought I would drop by the new place of another of my stripper girlfriends, *****y, who moved closer to the Minnesota-Wisconsin border.  I thought about making a daytrip out of it: I need to go across the border into Wisconsin to cash in a winning lottery ticket Father bought there (when was he out there?), and since that part of the state is beautiful, I figure I could incorporate a trip out there as part of the weekend.

But then ****e says she's back, and I wouldn't have to use my car to drive all the way down there to see her.  And on top of that, last/Monday night, ***e* invited me to see her out in Wisconsin.  She has kids so hanky-panky might be tough, but she has sexted me off and on, and she revs me up in ways no other stripper girlfriend has.

So I now have a bevy of options with which to spend this long weekend ... if I so desire.  It's not as if I can see all three of them over the weekend -- although it technically is possible -- because I won't have the, uh, "life essence" with which to reload adequately.  I want to shoot (tee-hee) for two, but even that might be too much for me to "perform" on a Friday and then again on a Sunday.  Moreover, if I have a rental car for the weekend, I want to drive it like I don't have a dime in it; do I spend that time going to the two stripper girlfriends farthest away from me?  Am I being paranoid that my car won't be able to make it to the border or down south?

And speaking of my car, I am thinking about moving up the date of my car service.  I have a huge trip I need to go to as part of my alumni duties, and I want to make sure my car is in tip-top shape to do that.  However, am I again being paranoid?  These has nothing to do with lining up my hoes, but I this is also on my mind now that I know about this event I need to go to.

My mind is all over the place right now.

(This Is The Blog Post I Meant To Publish Yesterday/Thursday)

This has been the toughest bracket I've wrestled with for a long time, if not ever.  On the one hand, people in the know say that this field is replete with upsets.  On the other hand, people are pointing out the advanced metrics that say Auburn, Duke, Houston and Florida are historically good, so upsets taking them out are highly improbable.

With those contrasting possibilities dancing in my head at the same time, it took me a lot of hours thinking while I went to not one but two bars to think on Wednesday.  Finally, well, I split the difference between the teams I really wanted to pick and teams I think could win, but I'm lukewarm about.  I don't know how much of my thinking will matter because some weird upset will blow one part of the bracket to hell, like it annually does to mine.  But we climb aboard this rollercoaster and see where it takes us ... even though I always crash in the end.