Can't Believe I'm Talking About The Jynx Game For The Third Time, But ...

... remind me to never buy a ticket to this team until they win a championship again.  I had a great seat, but then I had a great seat to see a chokejob up close.  Goddamn, I'm still so fucking mad.  Just glad af that the ticket was free.

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Saturday, May 9:

• Let's go back to Wednesday, May 6 Thursday, May 7, when, before work, I went to the panaderia close to me and got, um, some pastry that was really good.  Also got a small mocha.  With tip (and rounding down because no more pennies), I paid: $12.
• That evening, after work, I went to the National Sports Center.  Minnesota United was holding a practice open only to season-ticket holders.  I was wondering if James Rodriguez was going to be there.  Didn't see him train, but near the end of the session, I saw him pop out for autographs.  And a horde of people, many of them holding either James Colombia jerseys, the flag of Colombia, or both, swarmed to him.  Really nice ... and apparently, if reports are correct, the last thing he will do in Loons-branded gear.  Anyway, there was a food truck there, KCM Eggroll.  Got a jumbo pork egg roll and a strawberry lemonade.  With tip it came out to: $18.
• Then, after that, I went to Chick-Fil-A to get my free nuggets after the Timberwolves eliminated The Denver Nuggets (get it?).  Got a watermelon hibiscus sunjoy, too.  But I charged all that to my credit card.  I was still hungry, and I hadn't been to Potbelly in a while, and it's right across the way from Chick-Fil-A, so I got a bowl of chili from Potbelly.  I was going to throw in a tip, but something got crossed up because the guy paid me my whole change without the tip.  I was going to round up to give a total of $8, but instead I only paid: $7.45.
• ETA at 1:40 a.m. on May 11 that on Wednesday the 6th I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Edition) to see ******a, who had finally delivered on her promise to rub me down.  Unfortunately there weren't too many girls working the stripclub, so the amount of time she could be doing table dances for me was shortened, so I only got 16 from her.  Add that to cover, tips for ******a and two other strippers and security, and a drink for myself (with tip) and I spent: $186.
• Back on Saturday the 2nd I did my annual sojourn to Wings Financial to add money to my account in an effort to keep it active.  Threw in: $20.
• That evening, after watching MNUFC win on TV, I celebrated by going to Zantigo.  Now, I know it's not "real" Mexican food, and that notion has been reinforced by all the Mexican and Central and South American mom-and-pop shops in the area.  But in total those restaurants are a force, and now I'm scared that Zantigo will go the way of the nearby Subway and close.  So I went there and got a "double-stacked" (in Taco Bell terms) taco and some ancho fries.  Zantigo also rounds down, so instead of $7.87 I only had to pay: $7.85.
• We zip back to Sunday, April 26, when ***e* was in town.  Got a quick wank session in with her.  So glad to see her and her hand in person: $120.
• That afternoon I went to this combination antique store/coffeeshop that is right by my house.  If I didn't have to cross a busy street, I would walk there.  Funky place.  The antiques they sell include old Playboys at a dozen bucks apiece.  Didn't buy the mags; instead, I reconciled my monthly expense list there while eating a pesto sandwich with tomato soup as a dip, and I washed that down with an Italian soda.  With tip: $27.95.
• Saturday the 25th ... got a shave from the barbering school close to me.  This dude was much more professional than the previous one.  With tip: $14.
• MNUFC played in the afternoon.  Along the way I saw the local kids selling brownies.  Got one, and this time I did not get a smushed one; see below/earlier.  Cost: $1.
• Later that evening I went to Falling Knife Brewery to attend their Timberwolves outdoor watch party.  Good times, even if it was really crowded.  Saw a bit of the Wild Game before the Wolves started.  That Game was interrupted by Trump's second fake assassination at the start of the White House Correspondents Dinner.  When he came on to do his bullshit press conference, we booed until the brewery changed the channel from ABC to ESPN, where the rest of the Timberwolves' Win over Denver was airing.  Good times all around!  So the Potter's Pasties food truck was parked there, and I got a pastie.  With tip: $16.
• Also there was that woman I see sometimes at the Black Hart.  She sells homemade Mexican food -- tacos, burritos, etc.  Funny seeing her there.  But I like an entrepreneur, so I along with the pastie, I bought one burrito from her at a price of: $5.
• On Friday the 24th I was invited to a party that day (or the day before, can't remember).  I usually don't like doing that, but *****a was hosting it, and I hadn't gotten cranked from her in a long, long time.  Moreover, ****e* was going to be there, and I have seen her at many, many parties, but I have never gotten intimate with her even though I have always wanted to.  I finally arranged to be double-teamed by those two and it was as good as I had hoped.  We three bonded over being water signs, too!  Those two and cover ... wow, that's a lot of money ... came out to: $290.
• And later that evening I went to Bebe Zito for a late night burger and pop (and, well, Caffetto too, but I charged what I got there on my credit card).  With tip, that late dinner at Bebe Zito cost: $8.
• Tuesday, April 21 ... did I talk about the massage I finally got from ******a here on WAF yet?  Maybe I haven't, and maybe I won't.  Anyway, this was the day I finally got a massage from her.  Finally, after ... geez, maybe two decades, I got her to see me naked!  And she was good -- a 90-minute massage cost me: $150.
• On Monday the 20th I went to a stripper party *****y told me the day of.  I have said no to her so often that I felt like I finally needed to tell her yes.  Moreover, ****e was working, and I hadn't seen her in a long time, so I arranged them both to double-team me.  I quivered when I came -- quivered!!!  And man, that costs me a lot of money!  With cover: $320.
• Saturday, April 18: The neighbor kids were selling brownies on my way to the Loons Game.  Got a deformed one this time 'round.  Disappointing, but I figure they knew how to do business, unfortunately.  The brownie cost: $1.
• On Sunday the 12th I got wanked by ******e, who complained about Minnesota again and is planning to leave again.  HJ set me back: $120.
• I bid on this online auction for items from the now-closed institution SexWorld.  I got aced out on several things I wanted, like a few signs and a Shop-Vac.  But I won a hard hat!  It's not branded with SexWorld, rather the construction company that oversaw their renovation.  Yeah, the company just decided to, uh, leave a hard hat there, and it apparently stayed in the back all this time, and the owner made eight-plus bucks off of me so I could very tangentially own a piece of SexWorld.  Anyway, I had to go downtown on this day (and not at the SexWorld site but another place several blocks east) to pay and pick it up.  On my way back, I saw that the Rustica Bakery was open, and I figured I would stop and rest of my feet.  Purchased a chocolate croissant and a small lemonade.  They rounded down.  With tip this light snack was: $10.75.
• Finally, on Saturday, April 11, I went to the library to make copies of my tax forms, both for the state (I needed to make copies of my federal to send to the state) and for myself.  The county next to the one I live in gives everyone who either has their county's library card or has their library card from whatever county they live in linked to their system (like I do) gets five bucks' worth of copies and printouts each month.  (Up until maybe a couple months ago, it was five bucks a week.)  That saves me a lot of money, but I still had to make so many copies that I still needed to shell out money to get all the copies I needed made, even if it was only: $1.

Good through May 9.

More Doing Stuff

I had plans tomorrow/Saturday.  I would wake up early to watch the EPL downtown, then there is thing called Open Doors where many famous buildings open up their business sides to see how its guts look, and then I need to get a haircut, and then I would go home, have a shower, eat a frozen pizza, make myself a cocktail, and veg out.

But no!  My friend got a ticket to tomorrow/Saturday night's Lynx season opener.  I'm not feeling really good about this squad; they lost half their team, and Napheesa Collier got double ankle surgery and might not be back until June.  (The draft next year will be loaded, so I think they should tank and get into the lottery, but that's just me.)  So I've got a feeling they're going to lose to an ascending Atlanta Dream team.  But hey, this ticket is free, so the pizza can wait!

Downtown Thrice

I have completed the first of not one, not two, but three trips to downtown Minneapolis I will take over two days, or technically (from the time I got into downtown for my first trip in yesterday/Saturday till the time I will leave downtown for my last trip out tonight/Sunday night) about 31 hours, give or take.  It really doesn't make sense for me to hit the same place thrice in such a short amount of time, but I'm doing it.

The two times today/Sunday are the "important" times.  In the afternoon I have to go get a hard hat I won at an auction (if I explain this in a blog post, that means I've overcome my shame), and six hours later there's a Timberwolves Game for which I got a free ticket.  I will not stay in downtown Minneapolis for six hours, especially when I can work on my taxes instead.  I guess I could have skipped going to my college Game-watching bar and just listened to the Frozen Four Final on satellite radio instead, but I wanted to see it in public.

I wonder, though, if I should use the minivan in the afternoon.  I don't want to tax my car, and it seems stupid overkill to drive it to the same place twice.  Plus, I need to put the van through a more rigorous trip than just the grocery store.

Thought I listed all the free birthday stuff I've received, but it looks as though I'm not done.  Some time in the past few days, I was e-mailed a reminder that The Lowry is offering me ten bucks off.  Trick is is that the offer ends on the 31st, aka today.  Great.  Now I have to go from the mechanic (I'm bringing the minivan in, for an oil change, tire rotation and God knows what else) to St. Paul (to watch the World Cup Play-In Matches) and then, instead of home, to Uptown to, I guess, get a salad that I'll eat Thursday, I'm thinking.  Then I am going downtown to see the final World Cup Play-In between Iraq and Bolivia.  That Game kicks off at 10 at night.  If that extends to Extra Time, I won't be home till 1:30.  And I have an early shift at work tomorrow/Wednesday.

You continue to see that I'm busy, even if it's with stuff I want to be busy with.  Anyway, I need to write down my tax information in my day planner, like I said I would.

Still Fucking Haven't Done My Fucking Taxes Yet

One of the things I try to do in the month of March when it comes to taxes is list, in my day planner, all the numbers that I need to fill out the returns -- wages, withholding, capital gains, etc.  Well, it's down to the penultimate day and I still haven't done it.  Is it laziness?  Sure, maybe.  But I've been pulling down overtime like the dickens this month.  Also, I've been preparing for March Madness by doing research, and then ... well, yeah, I've been going out.  There are a lot of freebies I can get at restaurants, and by the time I'm done and come back home, I'm just tuckered out.

Things are going to be tight the next two days, too.  I'm seeing Project Hail Mary (in IMAX for only five bucks through my wireless carrier) tonight/Monday night.  Then, tomorrow/Tuesday is a day off for me.  Not to do my taxes, but something much funner than that, namely bringing in my parents' minivan for an oil change and tire rotation it might not need but I'm gonna do anyway because they won't tell me if it needs them.  Also, back when it was colder, I started the van and saw exhaust coming out of the passenger side.  Going to have them look at it, see if anything can be done, and how much it will cost to fix.  Oh, and anything else they see.  Hey, it's a beat-up car, but I need it to run, so if there's anything I can do to extend its life, I'll do it.  Shh, don't tell my folks.

OK, that ain't so fun.  But assuming nothing catastrophic happens when I bring it in in the morning, I'll have the rest of the day to watch the World Cup Playoffs.  There are still six spots available for the tournament taking place in the summer, and those spots are going to be determined in Matches played that day, specifically five in the afternoon and one at 10 at night.  I am going to see them all, if at all possible.  In particular, I'm going to my alumni Game-watching bar for the 10 p.m. Match.  It's for the last spot in the World Cup, and I want to enjoy seeing it.

Yeah, so with all that, how does one do their taxes?  Hell, how does one even begin to even look at their taxes??  I know, right???

Best Sleep I Ever Had ... Most Awkward Morning I'll Ever Have

Work was hell yesterday.  They were short-staffed at data entry, so the person who would've helped me in The Third Department was keying most of the day.  Thank goodness she was able to help out near the end of the day; there were stacks of papers that allowed tests to be processed, and honestly, I had so much other shit I needed to do that all of that stuff would not have gotten done.  That's a lot of tests that would've waited till today, and people would not have been happy.

Still, I was busy with my own shit.  I knew before coming in to work yesterday that we would be short-staffed.  I had plans yesterday to eat dinner, then go see roller derby.  But leaving work on Thursday all tired and ragged, I was afraid that I wouldn't have time between work and roller derby yesterday, so I broke my planned edict not to spend any money on Thursday and ate dinner (and grab that free birthday ice cream cup) at Culver's.  And, sure enough, I had to stay an extra couple hours at work, so once I decided I hate to shut things down, I immediately went to roller derby, which was an excellent time featuring a championship bout where one team came back from, like, 40 points down in the First Half to take the lead late, only to lose by two Points at the end.

I ate at roller derby, and since this was in a good part of town to eat, I ate a knockoff Taco Bell crunchwrap close by.  And then coming home I was listening to Duke's buzzer-beater over LSU in the Women's Tournament Regional Semifinal.  It was 11:30 by the time I got to my bed, and I think my body was telling me to go to bed.  I figured if I'm not that tired, I would wake up from a nap.

But I didn't.  I woke up when normal people wake up, around 8 or so.  I didn't expect to have a full night's sleep, and at a time when you "should," but I did and I feel really good, of course.

Then, I felt really good.  Part of me going to bed easily was because I wanted to avoid the news about whether Tennessee lost to Iowa St.  I had the Volunteers winning, and it was an important pick to keep my bracket alive for the big, big money.  I saw a skeet that Tennessee was up by one at halftime, but that was it.  I knew I had to finally find out the final (if only because I had to post on Facebook about it), so I looked at my Yahoo! Sports app ... and I saw that they blew out the Cyclones in the Second Half and won going away!  Yippee!!!

Quick update on my bracket: I went 7-0 in Round 3.  I still have Arizona, Duke and Michigan in Round 4, and I think I still am in contention for winning it all.  Out of a thousand people (give or take), I went from a tie for 15th to, get this, fourth.  I think there's a way for me to end up on top, but a lot of things have to break my way.  Meanwhile, there are so many entries that there's one guy who picked Illinois and Tennessee in the Final Four, and he's right up there at the top of the leaderboard with me.

---

And now the other shoe drops: No Kings.  Everybody's going.  Well, everybody but me.  I decided this week not to go.  There is work because they are short-staffed today as well.  And, call me paranoid, but I know that there is surveillance from the federal (don't know about the state) government going on.  I walk on the State Capitol, where everybody is, and there's no telling whether there's going to be a drone recording all of our faces.

I hate that I'm thinking this way.  I hate that I'm chickening out and using work as an excuse, and I am.  I am getting total FOMO right now, and the rallies haven't even started yet, because, even though it's been mentioned in many places, the No Kings March in St. Paul is going to be recognized as The Flagship No Kings March.  Out of the thousands of protests that are and will be going on around the world, it'll be ours in St. Paul regarded as the touchstone.  Senator Bernie Sanders will be there.  So will Bruce Springsteen.  And the more I write about this, the more I regret not going.

And the worst thing about this is the text I got on Messenger.  One of my friends, who has been talking to me off and on about this current installed government, just asked me if I was going.  She, of course, is going, and more power to her.  But I don't know how to tell I'm not going.  We've talked about how much we hate this government and are trying to figure out how to rebel against them.  Surely I would go to something like this, right?  No.  And I don't know how to tell her.

I think she's waiting on an answer.  Maybe I'll take a shower and think up something.  How awkward.

Have I Still Got My Libido At 50?

So after our volunteering event we hung out at a nearby restaurant to watch our alma mater play in the tournament.  And swear to God, there were so many hot women there with bazoombas underneath tight shirts (with bras, boo) that you know were so big they would go "Blammo!" as soon as they were unleashed.  And it probably was the one-off 75-80-degree weather that day that encouraged these hotties to look their hottest.  Damn!

I think I touched myself three out of the last four days.  Probably the aftereffects of feeling hot and horny for the first time on Saturday.  But it also might be me trying to hang onto my youth by convincing myself I could still get it up and unleash my splooge by jerking off as much as I could.  That might also be the reason I am going to try and see ****e this weekend ... or, it might be that I really, truly want to fuck her.

Oh, and there was the hot young thing (but old enough to be legal, trust me!) at Culver's, where I decided to spend money yesterday/Wednesday when I planned on not spending money yesterday/Wednesday, thinking that it's probably the best way to spread out all the free food birthday offers that are about to expire.  Glad I changed my mind, because this blonde was well built, had a huge chest, and wore a tight wifebeater that still showed off her gorgeous belly.  I think I got hard.

Yep, I think I still have a libido at age 50!!!

My Time Is Not My Own (Again)

See, I was so busy this weekend ... that I didn't get around to blog post something about the weekend until the weekend was over.

This past weekend was one where I was, yeah, super busy.  I had a volunteer event down south of here Saturday afternoon, and I had the Loons Match Sunday afternoon.  Both of them were in the afternoon, like I said, but those were things I was planning on doing, so that means I was busy over the weekend.  So much so that I had to set the alarm on my phone for both days, something I usually don't do and usually do dread.  To be completely fair, I woke up on my own on Saturday -- early enough, in fact, to water the plants in the morning.  But the phone woke me up on Sunday, and it felt like I was going to work.  Blech.

Come to think of it, I'm busy this week, too.  I had an alumni watching event last/Monday night and saw my team get their asses kicked.  Tonight/Tuesday night I am planning on seeing my first movie in a while, Ready Or Not 2: Here I Come.  I thought the first one was a kick, so I am looking forward to a sequel I didn't think the box office on the first one would call for.  Tomorrow/Wednesday I might stay in, so there's that.  Thursday I work early, so I might work out for the first time in a long time, or I could see this band in south Minneapolis, or I could take a nap so long that it extends into the evening.  Friday I think I'm going to my first roller derby event in years.  And this weekend I need to use this birthday offer at a bar in south Minneapolis while also hoping to see ****e for a fuck.  I really could use a day to myself, but my libido is forcing me to give up time to things I may regret doing later.  Well, maybe not fucking ****e, but all the other stuff. ...

List Of Free Birthday Food/Stuff

You probably suspected this: If you sign up and/or get applications from restaurants, they will give you free food on your birthday.  I think you should take advantage of this because when you signed up, you already gave them all your information upon which they sell to other companies.

I already got my three free original glazed doughnuts from Krispy Kreme because it's walking distance from Great Clips, and I figured I might as well get them after I got my hair cut.  But that may be the only birthday-related free gift I have taken advantage of so far -- plus, I know that I already passed up a free, um, flavoring from Starbucks (?) because I could only use that on my birthday. I really appreciate offers that I don't have to use too soon after my birthday, of which there are some.

There are so many I have received that I need to write them down to figure out how much time I have to get each offer, and to see if there's an order to which I should get them if I am under a time crunch.  Then, I figure I might as well blog post about them, and in chronological order.  So, here goes:

• Caribou: free drink (any size, any type), 3/24
• McDonald's: free eligible item, 3/24
• A Bar Of Their Own: $5 off, 3/31
• my alumni association, 20% off purchase online at the bookstore, 3/31
• Potbelly: free cookie, dream bar or shake, 3/31
• Culver's: free single scoop dish or cone with purchase, 3/31
• Subway: free cookie, 3/31
• Arby's: free dessert (with purchase), 4/2
• Chipotle: free guacamole with purchase of $5+, 4/15
• Target: 5% off next purchase, expires 4/15
• Jimmy John's: free Original sandwich, 4/16
• Visionworks: 50% off prescription eyeglasses or sunglasses, 4/16
• Nike: 10% off a purchase of $100+, 5/16

NO, NOT HOOTERS!!!

Heard it on Common while working yesterday/Thursday afternoon: Hooters and The Mall Of America is closing for good.  Last day's next Sunday, the 22nd.  Goddammit.

First things first: I have kind of an obsession with stores that have been at the Megamall from the start.  (The store can't move from its original footprint.  Also, it can be renovated, but it might not count in my eyes if it, say, closed down in order to make those renovations.  Length of time is important in this case.)  Hooters was one of them.  With it being gone, what's left?  Macy's?  Nordstrom?  Cinnabon on the 1st floor?  That alpaca place that somehow stays in business?

But I am sad about what I think of as an institution closing down.  That breastaurant made me a man.  I'm joking.  Well, only half-joking.  Well, that half-joking part is perverted as hell, because going there was the first time in my life I felt good about being proud of looking at gorgeous women dressed daringly (or at least how I thought daring was at the time).  I think the first time I went to Hooters I went with my high school buddies.  My friend noticed that our (hot) waitress was stuffing a pack of cigarettes in her fanny pack, and I thought that was the hottest goddamn thing ever.

Hooters MOA overcame a flurry of sexual harassment lawsuits early in its tenure to just be the place teenage boys go to begin to get in touch with their heterosexual desires, and for parents to bring their boys to prevent them from becoming gay.  I went from time to time to ogle, of course, but there are a few servers there that I'm familiar with.  No way are we friends or anything, but I think that we are acquainted enough that whenever we see each other, we smile, and that's great.  My "relationship" with Hooters was cemented over the past several years once I decided to buy the Hooters calendar every year and, if possible, get it autographed.  It was nice to have the sexiest Hooters girls sign.  I even took the calendar to other parts of the country if I were vacationing so I could have other Hooters girls in other branches sign it.  And, of course, I came back ... well, not because of the food per se, but for the coupons that came with the calendar.  If I spend $15 when I visit this month, I get a free dessert.

I planned on going Thursday to get that free dessert, and to watch the actual start of March Madness, but now I must go.  And I probably will go that Sunday too, its final day.  Thirty-three years, man, a third of a century, and they said it wasn't making enough money.  I will miss the fuck out of that place.

You know, come to think of it ... I know the perfect place to replace Hooters -- Twin Peaks.  Same concept, they're growing (the company, not my dick), and even though the closest stores are in Fargo and Omaha, it might be time to bring one to the Twin Cities.  And who knows, maybe those Twin Peaks girls will do things beyond my wildest dreams.  No, probably not.  But a lonely hetero perv can dream, and Hooters allowed me to do that.  RIP, Hooters Megamall.

Which Birthday Time Treat Should I Get?

I am noticing more and more that the happy things (as opposed to the sad things) that occupy my mind right now are looking forward to what I want to eat once I get out of work.  Maybe most people think that way.

Anyhoo, I was thinking yesterday/Tuesday if I want to eat after attending the Golden Gopher baseball Game at U. S. Bank Stadium.  It would depend on how snowy it would be; if it was manageable, I would go through the drive-thru (the Game, and the Gophers beat Gonzaga, went three hours, so there was no way I would be able to sit down at a restaurant) and suffer the sleet that came in through the open car window to order.  And it was manageable, so I did.

But which place?  I had in my mind getting this Mountain Dew Baja Blast Freeze whatever thingy from Taco Bell, which deposited it in my app because it's going to be my birthday soon.  I don't know if I will like it, and I hate Mountain Dew.  But it's free, so I'll get it.  And I thought I would get it last/Tuesday night.  But out of the blue I then remembered that this is also Shamrock Shake time, and those are tasty as hell.  I also think, although I'm not sure, that McDonald's (or at least the ones around here) pull them and the Oreo Shamrock McFlurry quickly, like the moment St. Patrick's Day is done.  That sucks, and I want to have them as much as possible.  So, assuming I'm right, I have only a week to enjoy them.  And that's what I was suddenly thinking when I pivoted from Taco Bell to McDonald's.

I got a regular Oreo Shamrock McFlurry as dessert for the Filet-O-Fish I used my points for.  I'm paying for it with my bowels -- darn lactose intolerance -- but I'm glad I remembered to get that green McFlurry at least once this year.

My Sister The Proxy

So I told Mother that I got my passport book and card two and three weeks (respectively) after I applied online, and she asked for my help to coach her through the online application process for her and Father at a day I had time to help her with it.  I told her on Sunday that I could help her Monday evening.

Now, I've told all of you how much of a mental and emotional drain being on the phone with My Mother can be.  I think that planning a long phone call ahead of time, like it obviously was going to be when dealing with an online passport renewal application over the phone and not while I'm sitting next to her, helps remind me that I need to be patient.  What I didn't know, however, was that my sister just so happened to be visiting my parents in Las Vegas for a few days.  Awesome!  She basically became my on-site translator and extra set of hands!!  So sis, can you do the application process for the 'Rents ... and ooh, by the way, can you help me install a new modem and router in their condo, too?

This problem of theirs goes back at least a year.  Mother complains of dead spots, namely their dining room table, which is at the opposite end of the part of their condo where their old, slow, obsolete modem resides.  It needed a new one, I suspected, and then it needed something to boost its range and help the signal break through the condo's walls.  But I wasn't planning on going out there anytime soon, not as long as this Republican administration has the gall to snatch up anyone at the airport they decided they don't like, so I figured my folks would have to just suck it up.  My sister being there, however, changes everything.  I could tell her what the problem is and how to fix it.  So once I decided she could do this (and my sis made the online application process for both Mother and Father go so smoothly), I spent the rest of the night looking up the best modem and router to buy at an electronics store and bought them, then I texted her all the information for the three of them to pick up, bring home, and set up so Mother can finally stop bitching about their shitty wi-fi.

That part did not go smoothly.  First of all, the modem I bought for them has to be hooked up with a coaxial cable.  I thought every place had a coax, but apparently this condo only connects to the Internet outside via Ethernet.  My sister tried to see if the modem would work just hooked up through Ethernet, but she told me (on the phone Tuesday night while I was at the Timberwolves Game) that it didn't.  Also, the router I got for them was just one unit of those "meshes" or "pods" or whatever you call it.  I thought one would be enough.  I thought that if I bought them a second (which, presumably, would be placed as far away as the first "mesh" or "pod," which has to be connected to the modem, in order to maximize the range), they would complain that, like, "It looks bad," or something.  My folks can be that shallow.  Well, Mother complained (after my sis attached this new router to the old modem, which she had a bit of trouble reconnecting) that there still wasn't any range.

My sister was leaving Thursday, and there was no way my parents would even dare try hooking up this second router, so my sister got my brother to buy that second router, which could be delivered the next day (which was Wednesday) because he has Amazon Prime.  (This is where I expand the universe of this blog post by reminding you that after I got home from the Game, I saw that my thermostat didn't work and, ironically, decided to accept a free trial of Amazon Prime in order to buy the same brand of thermostat so that I didn't have to do any wire work to put in a different brand of thermostat, and get it delivered as soon as possible ... even though I put in a second different set of batteries which made the old thermostat finally work.)  My sister got this second router, she installed it Wednesday, and it ... well, I haven't asked Mother yet if the range is better.

All through this ordeal, I profusely thanked my sister for doing this favor -- for our Mother, because our Mother wanted it, but frankly, for me, too.  I don't think she had running to Best Buy and spending a good chunk of one afternoon installing new wi-fi as part of her plans while visiting my parents.  I recognize that I ask ... no, use my sister a lot when I want something done.  Most notably, when I feel like I can't talk to my brother about something I need him to know, I tell my sister and she tells him.  We were in Hong Kong for Grandmother's funeral several years ago, and we were not on speaking terms then, so we asked our sis to relay any messages we needed the other to know.  She recognized that; the night after the funeral service, when I took her to this bar I wanted to go to because I needed a drink, she told me she knows what both of us are asking her to do in order to keep the peace between us.  And she almost broke down crying.  The gravity of burying Grandmother had something to do with it, of course, but being the peacemaker brings its own anguish, and that is something we make her do.

She acted as if she didn't mind putting in a new modem and router, even though she had no previous experience.  Still, besides thanking her a lot for being my proxy, I wonder if there's something else I could do for her ... or does she have a favor I'll have to pay her in kind.  Either way, that's an obligation I should do for her.  She did this for me, after all.

I Hate It When I Panic, And I Really Hate It When I Don't Have To Panic

I wasn't in a good frame of mind when I came home last/Tuesday night after the Timberwolves Game (which they won, even though they finally took the lead on The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies just before halfway through the Third Quarter).  Naturally I checked the thermostat first thing when I got home.  And the thermostat was blank.

Ah, so the batteries ran out.  Well, Father bought a huge stash of AA batteries, so I replaced them.  But the thermostat still didn't work.  Oh, no.  The thermostat we have is just a programmable one.  It also has been there as far as I can remember.  It's been so long since it's been replaced, it makes sense that the damn thing just conked out.

Unfortunately, I suddenly realized I was in the lurch.  You can't really go without a thermostat, can you?  Well, I should take that back; if it were not too long ago, when the temperature was below freezing all day, not having the ability to heat the house with the help of a thermostat would be dangerous.  But we are, thankfully, having a mild (if not necessarily a heat) wave with temps punching into the fifties most days this week.  I have been told that you don't want to let the ambient temperature of the house drop below 60 degrees.  That would happen if it were below freezing, but probably not now when it's much warmer than that.

That would give me time.  To do what ... well, that's what I have been doing the next couple hours.  I ran into a YouTube video whereby you could hack the furnace on using this special two-way wire that does the work of a thermostat, including stopping when it reaches a certain temp.  But my main concern, obviously, is getting a new thermostat.  I tried looking for the exact type of thermostat, but that thing is damn old, so it's not in stock at any hardware store.  It's plentiful online, but that obviously would take time to get shipped, and as much as I think the house could survive without regular heat because of the milder temps, I don't know how long I want to tempt that.

Unfortunately, the thermostats that I could just go and buy are way, way different from the one that's in the house now.  First of all, I see these smart thermostats and they are way too smart for me.  Then, as I fell further down the rabbit hole of learning about the world of thermostats, I saw that the wiring pattern behind the thermostat is very, very important to note and even take a photo of.  Each brand and maybe even each model of thermostat will or might have a different configuration of the ends of the wires being plugged into its socket.  Moreover, the configuration of how the sockets are arranged vary by brand and even by model.  So if I bought one of these things off the shelf, I would have to unscrew the wires, unscrew the mounting plate, put the new mounting plate in (while making sure it's level), then carefully matching up the wires to its socket in the new configuration.  And I'm supposed to make sure the HVAC is completely unplugged while I do this, and I don't know how the hell to do that.  I was going to just wing it and do this intricate wiring work without shutting the power off to the HVAC.  Hey, I'm a big boy now, right?

Ultimately, though, I decided I was too chickenshit to do that.  My dumb ass was sure to get electrocuted.  And then I went on Amazon, saw this particular brand of thermostat, and then saw that magic word: "Prime."  If I sign up -- and, of course, it's only a free trial! -- I can get this same brand of thermostat delivered in two days.  I think the house can go without heat for two days in this weather, right?  So I signed up to get it this Friday.  I just have to remember to cancel Amazon Prime in 30 days because Amazon is the devil.  I just had to dance with him because otherwise I would have no heat.

With that bought ... well, why don't I try new batteries in the old thermostat again?  There are plenty down there, and maybe I just got two bad ones or something.  So I took that old thermostat downstairs, found two other "new" batteries, put them in ... and the display was back on.  Jesus fucking Christ, did I pick two new batteries that just didn't fucking work?  Or is this thermostat being so flighty that it just decided to work then and there?

So I have heat now, and it seems to be working fine.  I thought about cancelling delivery of the new/old thermostat and Amazon Prime.  But remembering how panicked I was, I'm keeping it.  This is a prime example where it's smart to have a back-up.  Of course, I have to remember that I have a back-up thermometer.  If this one conks out for real, there's a good chance I will forget I bought a replacement.  Where would I even put this one once it comes in?  Well, that's not the worst problem to have.

---

I told you at the start of this blog post that I was not in a good frame of mind.  That's because of the car.  I'm scaring myself into thinking it's way too low on oil.  I have checked, or tried to check, the level a few times over the past week or so, but the goddamn thing is so hard to read.  I have a dipstick that has a plastic orange end.  It's hard to read when there's clear, new oil, and it's also a bitch to decipher because it seemingly has oil above the full dot and below the empty dot, and then it's completely drenched in oil on one side of the dipstick but completely dry on the other.

I checked the oil level before driving out of downtown after the Wolves Game.  The dipstick was how I described it above, and it wasn't the first time it looked like this.  So is my car completely tapped out of oil?  I can't believe that; I got an oil change about 2 1/2 months ago, and I don't think it's leaking oil.  And what if I have overfilled it, which is something I am scared as hell I have done if I fully believe what I saw on my dipstick these past few times, acted as if my engine was empty, but got suckered because it was in fact full, or even more than full?

I am in a bind.  Or, I have put myself in a bind of my own delusions.  I have blog posted before that I might be scaring myself into thinking I am about to do catastrophic damage to my car by doing and/or not doing something when the best thing I could do is just chill and drive.  Maybe that's the case here, and I should just relax ... no, fuck no, I need to take this into the dealership.  Maybe they can figure out how much oil is in my car without charging me for an oil change, or something.  And then they can teach me how to fuckin' read the oil level on their shitty dipstick.

And I am changing my mind on that, maybe.  I am leaning toward putting in just a little more oil.  Maybe that'll be the thing that finally gives me the results I want to see on the dipstick.  But what if I overfill it?  I've seen so many fucking disaster films.  Man, why do I have a car?  Why do I even drive?  It's just one more burden you're placing on yourself.

Deep breaths, trying to take deep breaths. ...

RIP, Fast Food Points

So once in a while I go through all my fast food apps, for which I have a lot.  I need to check on these from time to time.  Sometimes I do it just to look at any new foods or deals they may have.  Sometimes I do it as a way of climbing out of the rabbit hole I dive into while doomscrolling while not being able to pry my eyes away from my cellphone.  And sometimes I check the number of points I have on each application to make sure I haven't lost them.

A couple weeks ago (I think), I got an offer for free food from Chipotle.  Chipotle sends those offers from time to time.  This time around I got, I think, free guacamole.  I haven't had them in a while, so I ordered online and ate the quesadilla there; I went home to eat the chips and guac.  Later that night, I went to the Chipotle app to check that the points were there.  They were, but all the points I accumulated up to that point were gone.  At that point I had to look through all my other applications because I apparently didn't take that good of a look into them.  And I saw that I lost all my points at Popeyes, another fast food place I like.

Bummed, I am.  But I don't think there's anything I can do about them.  Obviously, if my parents scooted on out of here in the late summer/early fall like they usually do, I would have eaten at Chipotle and Popeyes before whatever six-month period or so that made my points expire, but they stuck around till after the New Year, and that is what probably killed off my points.

I have noted in the past (although I may not have discussed this on Wailing And Failing) that fast food chains have differing policies when it comes to when your points expire.  Some places say that you lose your points six months after you get those points.  Other places say that you lose all your points if there has been no activity (and that includes using points as well as accruing them) after a certain period.  I like the former scenario because if you do lapse, you only lose those points.  However, with the latter scenario, as long as you do something with that restaurant, you can keep points even if you earned them more than six months ago.  Of course, the best thing is for those points to never expire, but I don't think any of the applications I have are that generous.

While the permanent loss of what I spent so much to gain is awful, I have to admit there is a certain bit of ... freedom I feel.  Yes, circumstances forced me to fail, so to speak.  But that also means that I no longer feel obligated to go to Chipotle or Popeyes just to keep the points that I have ... er, had.  In fact, even though I like eating at both places, because I am back to zero with both of them, I don't know if I want to go back because I don't want to start getting points again with either place.  I've been scarred by how bad I feel losing them, you see.  Well, I did get points at Chipotle, but that was after I realized I lost all the points I gained before my order.  I might let those points die on the vine.

Maybe the lesson is, eat at every fast food restaurant you have an app for at least once every six months.

Doesn't Take Much For My Fucking Mother To Push My Buttons

I needed to talk to her last/Monday night about bills that came in.  I thought everything was done.  But she called back.  First of all, she called back during the weather forecast I wanted to watch, so that perturbed me.  Second of all, she worried about some stupid detail that she told me to take care of, namely writing checks instead of going online and paying herself.  And finally, she insulted me by explaining something to me that I already know and was also not what I was talking about.  That is probably due to the language barrier, but also because this happens all the time, I naturally get defensive about her condescension.

And I was being a good boy food-wise up till then.  I didn't drink any coffee at work; instead, I had a hot cocoa (given to me by my former supervisor two or three years ago) in the morning and tea in the afternoon.  After shoveling the driveway, I went out to use a gift card at a really nice brewery for chicken wings and two 5-ounce glass of different beers (plus a half-filled 5-ounce glass for free ... er, double free!!)  I thought I controlled my eating yesterday/Monday.  And then My Fucking Mother talks down to me and I'm wolfing down Dot's BBQ pretzel sticks to fill the hole she punched into my gut, and I feel all fat again.  Goddamn her.

She wants me to write and send out the checks in the morning.  I'll do it later tonight instead.  Because she can fuck all the way off.

And Another Snow Day!!!

This is more than ridiculous; this is fucking absurd.  Either this is one fucking monstrous snowstorm or Southerners really don't know how to deal with snow and ice, because when I woke up and checked my texts, my boss said there wasn't a shipment again this morning.  Third day in a row.  We've never had two days of no work, let alone three.  So, another snow day!!!

Not to complain too much, but you really can't enjoy a surprise day off if you have to wake up assuming you don't have the day off.  Compounding that annoyance is that today, because I was scheduled to go in and cut packages open, I had to wake up early.  Then, once I saw that someone was going to go in to work and do everything for the rest of us, I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't.  (This despite having only, at most, 90 minutes of shuteye overnight.)

Unlike yesterday, today I had planned on going out: There's a volunteer event my financial planner is putting on very close to my house.  And since he's treating everyone to dinner afterward, hell yeah, I'm going.  And since I am taking the car out today, I might as well go to the Walker today and use that offer to see the museum for free after buying a ticket to the Arrows.  I had planned on going Saturday, but the chances are now very good that I will be working that day, so I switched plans and went just today.

You know, I know I'm not enjoying these surprise days off as much as I should because one day, this will all be over and we will have to go back to work.  Something good will be taken from me, and anticipating that will happen makes me very, very sad.  But that day wasn't today.  And, to be fair, I really thought that it would be yesterday and it wasn't.  So I'm riding on free money.

The one thing I'm lacking right now is sleep.  I have to end this blog post now in order to try and get a nap in before I go to this volunteer event.

The TV Just Up And Helped Me

So the television set in my bedroom, the one that I got for free from my friend's friends, the one that My Father put in my bedroom when My Fucking Parents decided to redo my whole goddamn room ... well, it's been a challenge.  My Father replaced my TV set (and put the one I had, the one I bought, in the den that he would use once in a blue moon) probably because this one I got was bigger than the one I bought.  It has become clear since I started using it, however, that the I bought, even though it's much smaller, is more technologically advanced.  Beyond its old age, there are very small, first-world issues that make me not like this TV as much as the one I got for myself.  It takes more than ten seconds for it to come on, for example.  Also, sometimes the remote control doesn't work and I have to tap it on the back a few times; these guys really took this television through its paces over the years.  Finally, it doesn't have a "recall" or "back" button in the traditional sense.

What it does have instead is a feature whereby you can see up to the last six channels you were on (or fewer; it stores in memory the channels you were watching since you turned on the television).  You hit this TV's version of a "recall" or "back" button and six squares pop up on the bottom of the television screen.  They're all blank, and for a while there it pissed me off that I couldn't toggle between two channels.  But then I hit the remote's down arrow and voila, that's where up to the last six channels appeared in those boxes.  (You hit the down arrow again and the, I guess, "third" row are all the channels you have programmed onto the TV, and you can use the left and right arrows to scroll through them.)  So I finally understood how I could flip back and forth through channels; it's certainly not as fast as just hitting one button, but if I wanted to go through three or more, I can't really think of a faster way to do that.  So, it's a compromise.

Another thing so bothersome about this TV's interface comes from those six squares.  They always appear on the bottom.  If I'm watching a game on TV, the scorebug (the graphic that shows all the pertinent information on the game you're watching, such as score, which quarter/half/period is it, how much time is left, etc.) usually is on the bottom third of the screen.  So when a channel pops up and I want to just quickly see were in the game that game is before I go back to the other game, I can't see the score; instead, I see those stupid six boxes.  Yes, I guess I could wait the five-to-ten seconds to check the scorebug, but like I said, doing that is not in my nature.

Another graphic that popped up at the bottom of the television screen is the channel graphic.  You know, whenever you flip to a channel, you will see graphics that state what it is, like "41-2," or something.  So, if I want to use the "recall" or "back" button to toggle between channels, what happens is you select that channel from one of the on-screen boxes, the channel comes on with these six blank boxes obscuring your screen for four seconds or so, then the channel graphic obscures your screen for another four seconds or so.  Highly annoying, and not very user-friendly.

But then, maybe a few weeks ago, the damndest thing happened.  The channel box, the graphic that first appears when you get onto a channel, jumped from the bottom of the TV screen to the top.  Now, the graphics don't block my view of the score for as long as it did.  I have no idea how it happened.  I played with the settings, but I'm sure I didn't select anything unless I knew I wanted it.  It looks as though this TV, even though I'm sure it predates artificial intelligence, understood intuitively how upset I was that this graphic was blocking the scorebug, so it knew to place it on the top of the screen.  Now, why it couldn't do the same thing with the three rows of six squares, I don't know.

Still, I'll take it.  I'm glad the TV "got" me.  But is it good that it has a mind of its own, like HAL in 2001: A Space Odyssey?  Honestly, with the way the country is right now, being spat out into space to die because AI was afraid it was going to be killed isn't the worst way to go.

How Long Can My Computer Hold On?

For the past ... um, I want to see the past several days, my computer has done this thing where it boots up just like normal, but then, when I try to put my password in, it won't move.  I hit the keys but the cursor just sits there, blinking a lot slower than normal.  I have to now restart it; upon its restart, I can put my password in to open up my computer.

My laptop is now old.  It runs on Windows 10.  It does not have the processor or the storage space to be upgraded to Windows 11.  Windows 10 is no longer supported as of last month, but I opted into getting updates for 10 for another year, at no charge, which makes me think then that Microsoft should have just said they won't support Windows 10 next year.  Anyway, I don't want to pay for something so expensive if I don't have nor want to.  But since it's getting older, other issues are starting to crop up.  Could something worse than this weird restart thing happen over the next year?  Possibly, and it might affect me being able to use this laptop at all.  Did I make the right decision to keep using this for another year?

A Lot/Too Much Coffee

So yesterday/Monday was National Coffee Day, and I decided that out of the two gas stations that offered me free coffee, I would go to the closer one because there free coffee was any size.  I got a large because ... well, I guess I didn't look for an extra large, maybe because it wouldn't fit in the cup holders in my car, but a large was plenty.  As it was brewing at the automatic coffee brewer, I stepped back and looked at the huge large cup and went, "Whoa, even for a large, that cup is, uh, large."  Seriously, even for American sizes, I think the cup I got should be an extra large.

And, of course, I didn't finish it.  A lot of it has to do with work; The Third Department was its usual bear.  But I still think I drank more coffee than I usually do; it's just that I had a very large pool of coffee to get through, and I didn't.  See, I have my own thermal bottle in which I always pour my coffee into to keep it warm.  Even after I did that, the cup from the gas station was two-thirds full.  I managed to drink everything that was in that cup, but barely anything I poured into my thermal bottle.

And that is where it stayed until just now.  Even though I'm not hungry, even though I had popcorn and Coke while watching Bride Of Frankenstein (nice movie; like the allegory of the Monster being misunderstood and even the meek in biblical terms ... oh, and the cinematography was excellent) about five hours beforehand, and even though I need to go to sleep, I drank some of the coffee still in my bottle to wash down a cookie I got working the Vikings Game that is 370 calories.  Damn, I need to watch my blood sugar.  Oh, well, I think I can contemplate how to lower that, and cut down on my weight, tonight because I will be tossing and turning in bed all night.

And I still haven't drank all of the coffee from my thermal bottle.  Most of it's still in there.  In fact, I think I have enough to tide me over through work today/Tuesday.  It'll be lukewarm, but heck, if it's going to be as busy in The Third Department today as it was yesterday, it'll be more than enough.