United States Constitution, Article I, Section 9, Clause 8: "No Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State."
Saturday, November 1, 2025
My Sister Knows Too Much
Tuesday, October 7, 2025
Got Busted Not Flushing The Toilet
Tuesday, June 18, 2024
Expenses Without Receipts
- Let's actually take it back to Sunday, June 9 ... despite my misgivings, I got to *****y's place in the afternoon like she rescheduled. Her dog was jumping at me, which wasn't good since I entered her place with my cock out. Also, I think I walked on some of the dog's piss. Plus she was hastily trying to pack for her trip to Los Angeles with her son. Oh, and she was afraid her son would be coming home while we were getting down. But once she was able to reach him and know that he wouldn't be home from his trip for some time, I reclined in bed and she wanked my dick until I finally came. She started cupping my balls, and having her warm hand cradle my testicles felt more erotic than the handjob, to be honest. She's an expensive HJ giver, though: $150.
- To Saturday the
10th8th, where I worked on my receipts at Diamonds with a bowl of beef chili and a can of regular Coke. With tip: $10. - And then to Friday the 7th, where I went to south Minneapolis and got double-teamed by ******e and ... not ***e*, but ******e's other friend, *****a. I don't think she's a stripper, and I definitely believe she doesn't do ... what we do. Her lack of experience, and maybe her reluctance, was on full display. I noticed that as she was taking her shirt off, *****a kept her panties on, and while ******e was whacking me off, *****a did nothing more sexual than bite m right nipple. I'm not worried about it; I can understand if she was nervous. She looked down at my penis, so my dream goal of introducing one new woman to my genitals every year remains apace. I just wonder if we do this again whether *****a will take a more, uh, active role. Anyway, I spent the same amount of money than if this were ******e and ***e*: $240.
- To replenish my energy I went to one of the great taco places nearby where ******e, Pineda Tacos. They're great ... except that I continue to eat their sauces even though they're so damn hot. I don't have a spicy tongue. I'm sure other people could drink those sauces, but they're so powerful to me that I have to stop eating. Stuff that's too hot simply aren't edible. And yet I feel obligated to eat everything I paid for. I charged my meal of two tacos and a can of Coke, yet I still needed to extinguish the lava I poured down my gullet, so I paid for a bottle of Mexican Coke, which I summarily finished in my car just as I drove off. That Mexican Coke cost: $3.54.
- Finally, back on Sunday, May 26, after seeing Southampton beat Leeds in the EPL Play-Up Game, I wanted to stay out for a little bit more before going home, so I went back home through the side streets and found 56 Brewing. Neat place tucked away at a somewhat industrial, somewhat bucolic part of outer Minneapolis. Also, I liked that I was able to sample a cute dollop of a beer. The glass and the beer were both nice. And with tip it cost me a manageable: $4.
Tuesday, April 30, 2024
Did Not Dodge The Other Bullet
Tuesday, January 30, 2024
Oh, Wait, I Can't Watch Porn Now ... And That's OK ... ?
Tuesday, May 9, 2023
Do They Know I Take Half An Hour In The Bathroom?
Sunday, March 19, 2023
And Now I Have To Fucking Show Up On Time For Work
Tuesday, April 12, 2022
Saturday, April 9, 2022
Friday, April 8, 2022
Sunday, March 27, 2022
Wednesday, January 5, 2022
Did Those Dumb And Lazy Car Repair Motherfuckers Rat Me Out?
Monday, October 4, 2021
I Was Demoted, And It's All My Fault
Monday, May 31, 2021
Where Did Yesterday Afternoon Go?
- 9:30-10-ish: I woke up and lolly-gagged it. This was supposed to be my last time "working" Sundays at work, but when I actually had to go to work, I had to get to work by 10, which usually meant waking up at 9. I gave myself a half-hour extra because it was Memorial Weekend. I really should have woken up, and left, earlier.
- 10-ish-11-ish (?): I wish I had a better handle on time. Anyway, I went to Glam Doll for a donut. On weekends there is a line, and so I waited for a bit. I then went to Bogart's, not too far away, to do the donut two-fer, but the skies opened up and it began raining. It was drizzling off-and-on all morning, and I was hoping that it would relent so I could exercise at Lakewood, but far from it. I didn't want to eat my Glam Doll in my car then, but I wanted to wait out the rain, hoping it was just a squall, and so I did eat it. And then I remembered that Bogart's is only accepting cards, and yesterday was a cash day only. My best laid plans were ruined because of my principles. So I just drove to Lakewood.
- 11-ish-12:15 (?): My plan was to visit Grandmother, take a walk to the mausoleum where my uncle is, walk back to say goodbye to my Grandmother, then leave. But I'll be goddamned, right where I was parking, there was the huge old car with its front bumper halfway torn off. And I don't know about you, but when there's a dumpy-ass car that somehow is at the cemetery, and it's still running, and (turns out) the driver's still there, I don't feel safe just leaving my car parked there while I walk around the grounds. That driver probably isn't there to visit their late loved ones. So my plans were blown up; I did not blow up my plans, my plans were blown up. I started up my car and drove it to the mausoleum where, of course, there was a visitation group mourning the internment of their late loved one. And they were Asian, too, so now I'm scared that one of them knows my parents and recognized me. Shit. I drove back to my Grandmother's plot just in case that dude left, and not only did he not leave, another car drove up behind them, and the people in both cars were standing around. Well, I have said goodbye to Grandmother many times before, I'll do so again in the near future. Hopefully. Cutting short ... er, having my time at Lakewood cut short should have gotten me back on schedule, but I started way too late, especially considering what I still wanted to do:
- 12:15 (?)-1:42: Went to the Mall Of America because I wanted to go to Hooters because I had a coupon I wanted to use. I was determined to go there, plain and simple. But there were a lot of people there, the waitress was busy, she seemed a bit uninterested in providing customer service, and I stayed to eat 20 boneless wings for more than an hour. And I was really bummed because ...
- 1:42-2:13: ... I set up an arrangement where I was going to get a massage from ******a. But it was for 1:30. I thought she was cool if I were late, because we often let the times of our sessions slide, and she was this time around. But it was 45 minutes later than we initially scheduled, and ...
- 2:13-3-ish: ... when I got there, ******a said that she had to cut our session in half because, according to her, she had something else to do around 3. Great. It was my fault, though, and so I have to remember not to stack things up so tightly next time. Or, maybe I can be late for my next session and she'd be totally cool because she wouldn't have anything planned afterward. Who knows? And, oh, beyond all that, I haven't been able to enjoy walking underneath the cloudy sky.
- 3-ish-just before 4: I should have been home after ******a's, and being at her place only half as long as anticipated helped getting home "on time" helped a lot. But dammit, I was going to enjoy the cloudy sky. So, after getting gasoline for my car, even though it isn't a trail, I went to the park I usually go to to walk and I walked -- from the entrance, past the ball fields, to the gazebo, and back again. And even though it was short and by no means is it a trail at all, I did my best to stop asking myself, "I've been up for six hours -- how in the hell have I not been able to enjoy this beautiful weather?" to walk, look up, smile, and breathe.
Thursday, April 29, 2021
They're On To Me
Thursday, April 8, 2021
Doggin' It!!!
Thursday, January 14, 2021
You Know The One Good Thing About Wearing A Mask?
Friday, January 1, 2021
Hey, Mother, How Do You Like My Closet?
So my brother and niece came over this afternoon, for two reasons. The main reason, or so I thought, was for my parents (well, actually Mother) to play with my niece. But besides playing bingo and bowling over water bottles, she was more concerned with the new laptop my brother sent to the house. My mom got it a few days ago, my brother told her to charge it up, and when he came over, he set up ... everything my mom wanted him to set up. Eventually that took over Mother's attention, and so I was the one tasked with playing with my niece. And that was hard. I love her, but three hours felt like 30.
We played a quick game of hide-and-seek. I hid first. I went into my room to hide; I slipped behind my bed, the side away from the door, ostensibly because I wanted to scroll through my phone. My bedroom was the first place my niece went into, but she did not even peer around the bed. Eventually she gave up, whereby I just walked out and told her where I hid. I'm surprised she didn't find me.
But let me fill in the donut hole. After going into the room the first time and then walking around to other rooms, my niece enlisted the help of Mother, who, for the first time I can remember, walked into my bedroom. She did not look behind the bed either. Instead, I think she asked my niece, "Could he be in the closet? Why don't you open it?" To which my niece replied, "Can you open it?" at which point Mother did. Oh, shit. My Mother and my niece didn't see me ... but they did see all the clothes I've piled up and don't use, they did see the bags of pamphlets and brochures I've accrued from Twin Cities Auto Shows over the years, and they did see my cum towel. Maybe, they even smelled it.
I can totally see Mother telling My Father, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You should see all the clothes in his closet! And all the papers, too! And the towel! My God, it smells so bad!" And then Father will either confront me about it, or just rummage through my closet and tell me to throw some of that stuff away ... and, my goodness, he might even wash the towel, too. Fuck me.
Maybe she won't rat me out. But maybe she will.
Goddammit, why did my niece want to fucking play hide-and-seek?
Thursday, December 17, 2020
Fucking Got Caught Coming Back From Break Late
Thursday, October 1, 2020
The Belle Of The Ball ... Or Carrie At The Prom?
This college thing ... I have been personally requested to be part of the next working group meeting, which comes up tonight. This request has come from the other side, which makes me worried.
See, as I think I've said before, I haven't been much of a contributor to these "negotiations." I am, however, a representative for a part of the country my alma mater has relatively little presence in. Part of the negotiations is finding a compromise in recruiting people who will represent the university, just not in a formal, official way as before. (Sorry to be so vague; I don't think I can go into detail lest I get in trouble with the other side, plus I scantly understand this model myself.) I have been told by the people on my side that is the only, anodyne reason.
But what if it's not? We resisters have come to the conclusion that the head man on the other side, the president of the alumni association, is a conniving dick. He was the one who made the unilateral decision to put down all alumni clubs in the United States. And many of us hold him in low regard when it comes to negotiating over these Zoom meetings.
I am getting paranoid over the depths to which he will be underhanded. So, I am afraid that he and/or the people who work under him have been busy digging up dirt on all of us in the resistance, including me. And when the time comes, such as in a Zoom, he'll show up (which, by the way, he's not supposed to, because the number and the specific people who are supposed to be in these respective groups are set; he just popped up the last time this working group tried to work together, which was seen by us as a power/dick move) and go, "So, UW, I see that you have a hankering for ... eggplants!" and then he'll post screengrab after screengrab of me giving eggplant emojis to all the hot women I befriended on Facebook. And then I'll get all embarrassed and then we'll be divided between people who think I'm a pig and people who think what I did doesn't matter in the face of these negotiations. The other side would have successfully deployed a divide-and-conquer strategy, and the resistance to those who want to save our clubs would fall apart. And this guy would laugh diabolically.
I brought up this paranoid fear with my therapist Tuesday, and he asked me why would the other side want to shame me and potentially cause me to cut ties with them permanently, thus making it harder for my alma mater to have any engagement in a lower-density part of the country. He has a point, although I don't totally dismiss destroying any obstacles to this plan he wants to implement as the sole goal. So, I go into tonight's meeting not believing the other side is completely acting in good faith. Seriously, they want my input when I have offered little to none up to this point? There has to be something up their sleeves.