So I started off in filing. And ... well, it probably was because I slept for three hours in the evening, and then only three hours overnight, but I got tired, and so I fucked up big time in the morning before lunch. See, when you're putting away forms in the filing cabinets, you're supposed to go onto this software and scan them into the specific folder these forms are going into first. Well, I forgot that part; I just, you know, physically put them away. I stuck all those forms into those folders, got back into my chair, woke up, and realized I might have missed a step. So I went back into those cabinets (well, actually boxes), pulled the first form from a bunch (though not all -- that would have taken me an hour) of folders, and just for shits and giggles, see if I scanned them in (there's a process for that in the software). Many of the forms I did not put away because they were where the software says they should have been; I just pulled the wrong ones back out. But I found three I had missed; as far as the software was concerned, they might as well have been in Des Moines. So I informed the software I was putting them into these particular folders, and then I did ... and I have no idea if I got all the forms that I had mistakenly put away. And there's no way I could even tell, because I sure as shit don't remember what they all look like, or even how many I initially put away without "scanning" them in first.
Hey, like I said, I was tired. But I think it may not have mattered. Earlier in the morning That Guy was going through folders I needed to sort out because I had to put them into the boxes that would eventually be filed away (and into which we would put forms such as those I inadvertently put away), and he pointed out one that needed to go to a different department, and I'm sure I gave him a frustrated, pissy look before I did. I think I've come to the realization that filing just ain't for me. The concept of putting away shit -- but not before documenting that I've put away said shit -- is one that I have not demonstrated I do with any diligence or interest at home, so would I really be more diligent or interested in doing that if I were getting paid? You would think yes, but time and time again I have acted as if I don't give a fuck. And as much of a mistake I made ... no, man, I don't give a fuck.
And there still might be forms that are in those folders when I hadn't told the software they are where they ... uh, are supposed to be. Fuck it, man, whatever. Can't do anything now except prepare for the blowback.
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OK, then in the afternoon I was training with my supervisor. Except that I was 15 minutes late because I was doing all this bullshit with the forms. I said sorry and I informed her of my error in case a form I had forgotten to scan in is requested by someone (that happened before; that's how I got in trouble the last time). She said that I can't come in late because training's on a tight schedule. And I really, really wanted to say then and there something like, "Hey, there are forms I forgot to scan in. I needed to undo my mistake." But I didn't say that because even with my lunchtime nap, I was too tired to explain myself. 'Cause I realized that it doesn't matter. The damage has been done, and more important than that, I could and would undo only so much of the damage. I do not regret staying a little later trying to fix my fuck-up, but I also know that I probably didn't completely fix my fuck-up, so there's a good chance I'll be caught for fucking up. I'm in a no-win situation, so why bother saying more than I did? And so no, I don't feel that bad for beginning training late -- because we would up finishing early anyway. Shit.
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So not only did we finish early, my main department finished early, too. They were able to clean their desks for a bit, but everyone was dismissed early, using paid time off to make up for the, uh, hour or so they were supposed to work but didn't.
My trainer leaves an hour earlier than I do, so I had about an hour to kill. I would have actually been productive with this time by redoing my training notes, but my supervisor/trainer did not feel she could let me do so without my actual boss' permission, and he took off for the afternoon. So she told me I would also have to leave early. Well, fuck that, because that's stupid.
She left before me. My boss wasn't there. And while "cleaning" my desk (that was the one task I was able to do after training was done), my other boss left. That meant that no one who has direct authority over me could tell me to bugger off before my shift was over. So I didn't. I started typing up an e-mail to my actual boss I will send later today. I ... uh, put folders away. I tried to pick up staples that snagged on the carpet. I did as much shitwork as I could do just to complete a full day. It got too ridiculous even for me, but I was able to dog it for about 45 minutes and leave so that, up to this point in my workweek, I am five minutes under, which I can perfectly make up for by dogging it either today or tomorrow.
My supervisor has no control over my timesheet. My boss probably won't ask what I did while he was gone yesterday afternoon. And my other boss, for all she knows, thought I was doing a deep cleaning of my desk. (I looked at her office door a bit past 3; it was closed and locked; I'm pretty sure she didn't see me at my desk as she left, so I am going to assume she didn't even think of me at all on her way out.) Unless those three talk to each other and begin to wonder what I was doing between 2:35 and 3:25 yesterday, my plan on dogging it is going to work. Because even though I don't give a shit about forms I mistakenly filed away or coming to training late, I will do my goddamndest to fuck around in order to get my money. No doggin' it there!!!
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