My Porn Addiction Episode

Because I didn't think I had done so in a while, and therefore I was a good boy, I spent some time this past evening going through OnlyFans and buying photos and videos from babes.  I go in with the intention of weeding out the ones who only tease and don't show and tits or pussy.  But pretty soon this red mist descends on my id, and I just begin to start buying this one, and that one, and these ones and those ones.  I am more disappointed with non-nude stuff (and I need to do a better job at this weeding out process) than pleasantly surprised by actual nudity (that, I must admit, I was able to jerk off to last night).  But at some point last night I think I bought, like, a dozen videos and pictures, and I mentally think I bought, like, $100 worth of stuff.

No big deal, right?  But I checked my credit card online just in case.  I wasn't brave enough to add up all the things I bought last night.  But I can see that the last time I was on OF wasn't, like, a week ago -- it was, maybe, a few days ago.  And it looks like I had the same number of transactions then than I did last night.  And a similar number a few days before that ... and a few days before that ... etc.  I still ask for my statements to be mailed to me, just so I can remind myself that I have credit cards to pay off.  And frankly, I think next month's statement will be so big and heavy, the credit card company will have to pay extra to send it, and for all I know, they'll pass the charges along to me.

I shudder to think my addiction has gotten to big now that it's actually eating into my accounts.  But I do see the grand total of what I had to pay on my last statement, when my OnlyFans binge began, I think (almost $900), and I took a look at how much the next statement will be (almost a grand).  I wonder how much of those payments have gone/will go to OF.  No -- I fear how much of those payments have gone/will go to OF.

So yeah, I need to practice some self-control.  But I don't know if I can, or I won't until I put myself in financial disaster.