Moreover, whenever I'm not in The Main Department, I don't have a direct supervisor keeping track of where I am. Sure, I still have supervisors and bosses, but whenever I'm not keying, they're doing their own thing while I get to keep to myself. I have taken breaks all over my shift and I have yet to be questioned -- either as to when I take them or, ahem, how long my breaks are.
See, as I am left to my own devices when it comes to breaks, I come and go as I please, and I pay no attention to the clock. These breaks are supposed to be only 15 minutes, but I have regularly exceeded it. Usually, I have exceeded it by an obscene amount. This happens more for the morning break, which I usually take some time after 11 a.m., which is when The Stephanie Miller Show ends, because I usually have a bowel movement that I need to, you know, pass. So I grab my phone, walk halfway in the building, lock the door and use the single-person bathroom. While I poop, I'm scrolling through my phone -- you know, Twitter, maybe newsletters, possibly a text or two. And it's great to just defecate in peace on your own time, with no one expecting you to be back at work at a certain time. So I let it go past 15 minutes ... to maybe 20 ... or, probably, 25.
And then there was yesterday, when I think I spent a half-hour in the toilet taking a crap. I was reading an article in my News app, I texted a stripper apologizing for missing yet another of her house parties, and, yes, nature was calling. By the time I got done, it was possible, possible, that I spent 30 minutes in there. And to be honest with you, this probably wasn't the first time I was in the bathroom for that long for my break. It's just ... safe and comfortable in there, you know?
The thing is, though, is that, inbetween the other places I work at besides The Main Department and these single-person bathrooms is ... The Main Department. As I am walking back to where I work, I am walking past my co-workers. Normally I don't think about them, but yesterday/Monday I walked past my supervisor, who came in on a Monday to help out because we're behind on work. This is not the first time this has happened, either. But perceiving as though I may have taken the longest I ever have taken a morning break, I wonder if she noticed that I was gone a long time.
Come to think of it, I also have to walk past the break room, too. Sometimes, when I start my break, I see my co-workers sitting and eating. I see them sitting and eating when I come back. But I know it has been way more than 15 minutes. Do they notice that when they notice me? And even worse, what if they see me going as they're eating, but when I come back they're back at work? Is there an internal clock that makes them think, "Geez, he's been gone way more than 15 minutes -- and it's not the first time he's done that!!!"
I try and make up for it by cutting short my afternoon break, maybe way shorter. It helps when there is no Father around stuffing me with food I don't want to eat. But I don't think that's really "allowed" in an effort to take only 30 minutes' worth of break time. And I really don't think you can plan on joining your breaks together to make a half-hour break where you get paid. Besides, if no one is noticing me, I really plan on taking my breaks whenever and doing whatever the hell I want. Well, until my supervisor and/or boss finally brings up that, "Hey, we've noticed that you seem to be taking really long breaks." At which point I'll feel humiliated, stop doing that, and/or quit.
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