Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Wednesday, May 17:

• OK, we're going back to Monday, May 15, where, after a long day at work, I decided on the fly to hit this basement hotel bar called Constantine for a second and presumably final time before it closes (no hard feelings; there's a new management company and apparently they want a new concept for it and Monello, the ground-level restaurant on top of Constantine) at the end of the month.  I have been mentally mapping out my evenings for the next couple weeks before my parents come home, and I've been stressing that I would not be able to go back to this place and its dark and funky vibe before it's gone forever.  Thankfully, as bad as work was that day, I was able to get out before I stayed too late as compared to other dates.  Anyway, I'm not doing an EWR on Constantine because I used my credit card.  I am doing an EWR for Caffetto, the coffeeshop I like to frequent because, unlike with Constantine (which I went to before Caffetto), I had planned to go to Caffetto to work on my receipts.  Chocolate cake, small hot chocolate, and tip comes out to: $9.32.
• Back to Thursday the 4th, where I went to Hooters for lunch.  This was the week where I filled in second shift and I had a May coupon, and this date felt like the perfect time to use it (even though I found myself at Hooters the first day of the NFL Draft, so in retrospect I maybe didn't have to go there on this date at all).  Had a Jedi Juice instead of my usual Angry Orchard -- May the 4th be with you -- get it?  Plus tip: $24.
• While I knew and planned about Hooters in advance, I only was told about this stripper party the week of.  I didn't know if I could squeeze both in, but I needed to get my fuck on so bad that I made the trek from the Mall Of America to North Minneapolis.  There I was greeted by *****y and *****y, both of whom I had once gotten a tandem dance from a house party close to my house.  There, I whipped it out and both women looked at me luck I had a mushroom for a dick.  (Since then, *****y has warmed to me to the point where she gives me handjobs.)  This time around, they were both, uh, more handsy.  Maybe they are just going by house rules.  At any rate, even though I didn't cum much, I came.  Both beautiful women don't mess around; they jacked me off as though they were angry with me, and I couldn't have been happier.  Now, I didn't really appreciate both of them taking all the money I had taken out of my wallet out of my hands, but doing mental math after eating at Hooters, I don't think they ripped me off.  I didn't come in to the party with enough money for a proper door fee for the guy who's hosting, so I owe him ten bucks the next time I see him.  Total: $210.
• To Monday the 1st ... went to Great Clips to get my hair cut.  Guess I could've waited, but I had my day free, so I thought it was a good time to get it out of the way before I get too annoyed with what's on top of my head.  The girl who cut me was Asian, so when she talked about my "Asian afro," she seemed to know me better than I did.  I mean, "Asian afro" is a perfect way to describe my hair once it gets long!  But as soon as I paid, she shut down as if I was physically in her way.  I would've taken a buck off your tip if I knew you were gonna be like that.  But I didn't.  Have the receipt, BTW, so this EWR is just for tip: $5.
• OK, back to Saturday, April 29, where there was this food truck festival that seemed cool, plus I didn't have much else to do, so why not enjoy a day being alive?  The weather, unfortunately, was unsettled; I went into my car once to avoid the hit-and-miss rain.  Thank goodness the food trucks circled the wagons around one end of a parking lot, the rest of which was parking for us festivalgoers.  After seeing which places did have lines and targeting the ones that didn't, I started off at Sweet Taste Of Italy, where I got its Ken's Club.  Plus tip: $15.
• Then, for dessert, I went to Pretty Great Cheesecake.  Had its key lime.  Man, I'm always down for some key lime.  Plus tip: $11.
• Wednesday, April 26 -- this was the day I took off to bring my car in for service.  What I thought could have been an all-day repair took only a few hours.  That gave me time to get my face shaved at Moler.  With tip: $13.
• After that I went to the Black Hart, the only combination soccer pub and drag burlesque place in the world, I think.  It is serendipity that I took a day off on the same day that one of the most anticipated Matches in English Premier League history, first-place Arsenal at second-place Manchester City, took place.  Glad to have a free afternoon to watch this with my people.  The Game itself was a rout; Man City crushed the Gunners, 4-1, and finally it looked as though the pre-season prognostications from many people who said the Cityzens were going to win the league this year were going to be proven right.  I was thirsty as hell, so I got me a Coke to go along with a Bloody Mary (with beer chaser, of course).  Plus tip and it came out to: $10.
• Finally, on Thursday, April 13, I went to the classic movie theater close to me to partake in that theater's Hitchcock Festival.  They were showing Rebecca, the only Hitch-directed film to ever win the Oscar for Best Picture.  It is not the psychosexual or action-packed thrillers like Vertigo or North By Northwest are, so I can't say I loved the movie, but I appreciate finally seeing it.  (A long time ago, Entertainment Weekly came up with a list of 100 films every film buff should see before he or she dies; Rebecca is one of them, and I'm glad I can cross that off my list ... as soon as I can find that list.)  The problem was that everybody seemed to have caught wind of the Hitchcock Festival; I had to wait in the lobby before the ushers and manager decided there were enough seats for all of us on the waiting list to get in.  Never seen that before at this theater.  Anyway, cost of the ticket and to tip the organist who played before the show equaled: $13.

Good through May 17.