Wednesday, May 17, 2023

Food And Porn, Man, Food And Porn

I continue to have credit card bills so big they eat up nearly my entire paycheck.  I mean, like every single check I get every two weeks.  It really boils down to food and porn.  And what I did yesterday/Tuesday is illustrative, and typical, of how I fuck myself.

Because I was working The Fourth Department yesterday/Tuesday, I was set on buying a mocha and breakfast before coming in to work as a way to ease into what would be a hectic day.  (By the way, the morning was; I don't remember having to go through so much bullshit in so few hours.  But there was a blessedly light load of new work, and I was able to clock out at just about eight hours, a first on a day I work back there.)  Caribou Coffee had an offer where I can buy a large drink for the price of a medium.  But ever since the company updated its application, I have never been convinced that they were charging me the correct price after I used the discount I was offered.  In this case, I wanted to buy a large mocha, and it felt as though the price I was quoted on the app was for a large, not a medium.  Moreover, there was no text indicating that that was the price of a medium.  I want to say that Taco Bell, for example, assures me that "the discount will be taken out upon checkout," and that would be enough for me.  But I don't see a "- $x" line item anywhere on Caribou's.

That has always cheesed me off.  That has discouraged me from going there as much as I had when there was the earlier version of the app.  But I am value-conscious, and if there's a large-for-the-price-of-a-medium deal Caribou is offering, I'm going to get it.  So I didn't use the app; I drove there and ordered there, old school-style.  And guess what?  It was more expensive that it was on the app!  Fuck if I know why!  Well ... I have a theory.  Caribou is now saying that anyone who participates in its rewards program can now get milk alternatives as a substitute for free.  With the oatmeal I had intended to buy and the tip I had intended to give, I think I paid, like, 27 cents more for my breakfast in-person than I would have through my phone.  I think that the upcharge for substituting non-dairy milk is about 20 cents.  Maybe it's the cashier or the register that fucked up.  But now I have evidence that I was wrong, and that the application actually does take all the discounts I think it should take.  (And by the way, a medium mocha at Caribou now costs about $6.50.  Damn, that's expensive!)

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So I charged my mocha and oatmeal on my credit card, and so by my OCD rules, I need to use that credit card one other time that day.  (Maybe I should reconsider that if I'm so damn worried about spending so much money.)  I was going to use it to donate to an alternative Commencement party for the New College of Florida, that university that fucking Republican fascist governor DeSantis has appointed other Republican pricks to run (into the ground).  That COVID-denying Stanford doctor asshole, Scott Atlas, is Commencement speaker, and the graduates are saying fuck that, we'll set up a GoFundMe so we'll actually have a good ceremony featuring people based in reality.  But the credit card I had planned to use for that GoFundMe was not the one I used at Caribou.  I will not use both of my credit cards on the same day.  OCD rule.

The credit card I did use at Caribou, however, is one I use for my OnlyFans account, and cha-ching, a-ruuuga-a-ruuuuga, I took that as a sign to buy porn.  And I did: Three photo sets and an introductory monthly subscription for a total of $25.  That amount is tame compared to what I have paid for in the past.  But is, oh, 2 1/2 hours' worth of take-home pay.  At least I got actual boobies and pussy; sometimes I charge my credit card on faith and get only the equivalent of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.  But is jerking off (and to a video of a woman [surreptitiously being videotaped by her husband] bending over while vacuuming her couch cushions with just a crop top on, thus showing her nice tits -- and for free, no less) worth yet adding more to my credit card bill?  While I was masturbating, the answer was yes.  As I type this, the answer is no.  And my answers are situational like that every time I do fall into this trap I set for myself.

Food and porn, man, food and porn.  They're going to put me in the poorhouse, and it'll be all my fault.

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