Sunday, May 28, 2023

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Before we begin, I just want to make my annual note that, with the University of Minnesota baseball and softball seasons concluded, we are now at the fallow season of The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  The following three teams will be it, barring possible one-time cameos by the Timberwolves for the NBA Draft or if any team makes a huge-enough off-season splash that it warrants commenting, until the U. soccer team begins its season approximately 11 1/2 Weeks from now.

#-1: Twins (Last Week: -2).  A 2-4 screening Week ... and they still lead the American League Central by two Games over sprightly (if you can be so while sporting a below-.500 record) Detroit.  You want to know how much of a sorry-ass Division this is?  Not only would the Twinks be fifth in the A. L. East (ahead of only Toronto, the club they're hosting this weekend and with whom they have already split the first two Games of their three-Game series), but they'd also be tied for fourth in the A. L. West with Seattle, and no one's saying the A. L. West is a juggernaut (even though The Bastard Washington Senators v.2.0 are surprising Baseball Nation by leading the Asterisks by three Games).

The Rotation remains the strength of this squad, although it's gotten dinged here and there.  No, it's the relief corps and Lineup that's killing Minnesota right now.  This Week (or at least as it relates to Tuesday), Pablo Lopez was the one to crap the bed, allowing the tying and winning Run to The Bastard New York Giants.  Meanwhile, while the Twinks scored seven in beating the Giants Wednesday and nine in outlasting the Blue Jays yesterday/Saturday, they scored a total of seven Runs in their four Losses this Week.

They finish up with the BJs this/Sunday afternoon, then jet down for three in Houston beginning Memorial Afternoon.  They then come home to play four versus The Cleveland Guardians starting on Thursday.

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -1).  Tuesday they went down to Houston, not a good squad, and got squashed, 4-0, crashing out of the U. S. Open Cup.  They gave up a Goal to the Dynamo just before Kervin Arriaga picked up his second Yellow Card of the night, dropping the Loons down to 10 men for the final 52 Minutes.  MNUFC allowed Corey Baird, who has yet to score in league play, to score a Hat Trick on them.  I think this fucker mocked Bongokuhle Hlongwane after he scored his third in the 89th.

United FC seemed to try, but once that third Goal went in, I thought they quit.  I didn't really see that lassitude in last/Saturday night's Major League Soccer Match vs. Real Salt Lake.  What I did see was a piss-poor defensive effort in allowing RSL's Jefferson Savarino to score in the 28th.  But thank God for Hlongwane, whose shot mere inches and a bad angle away from goal caromed off RSL's Justen Glad for the equalizer.  Unfortunately, this was another winnable Game that MNUFC did not win, as the two teams settled for the 1-all Tie.

Luis Amarilla remains an enigma up top.  There has been talking he'll be moving back to his team in Ecuador.  That would move either Mender Garcia or Sang Bin Jeong to Striker, and frankly, given Amarilla's invisibility so far this Year, a change might do this side good.

Doubling up this Week -- at Austin Wednesday, home to Toronto Saturday.

#-3: Lynx (Last Week: -3).  On Tuesday the Jynx completed their part of The Triple Crown Of Suckshit: All three local teams played and lost that evening, but it probably was the Jynx's that was the most infuriating.  They led The Atlanta Dream at Target Center by eight entering the Fourth Quarter and got outscored 24-10 in the final frame to lose by six.  (Remember that right next door, at Target Field, Pablo Lopez was blowing the Twinks' nascent 3-2 lead on their way to losing.  Goddamn, the pain-inducing chokejobs by both teams so close to each other had to have formed a Black Hole Of Failure.)  And on Thursday night, they lost in Phoenix by nine.  And I still think it's alright because you've got a loaded draft class coming and you might as well have the pick of the litter.

This club will be busy this Week: At Las Vegas tonight/Sunday night, in Dallas Tuesday, home to Connecticut Thursday, at Washington, DC Saturday.

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