Sunday, May 21, 2023

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: United FC (Last Week: -5).  Won both of their Matches this screening Week, and in the process we may have the Loons next star.  Both Games were 1-0 victories, and South African Forward Bongokuhle Hlongwane scored both.  When he signed on to the side last Year and scored late last season, he was known for a celebration dance (or "celly") where he would mimic a goose (or maybe a snake, who knows) with his hands in a striking motion.  I don't think he does that anymore, but who cares if he becomes the finisher this team so desperately needs.

It helps if the opponent is both inferior and appears to be mailing it in.  Houston appeared to be in that headspace when they came to Allianz Wednesday.  In the First Half, some Dynamo player, trying to clear the ball in his team's defensive Half, instead tackled the ball into open space in front of goal.  Who was Johnny on the spot?  Bongi, who slotted it home, bottom corner.  The somewhat leaky Loons Defense made that Goal stand, and MNUFC finally won a league Game at home in 2023; cue "Wonderwall."

What was more impressive was pulling out a Win in Portland late last/Saturday night.  I went out to the Black Hart to see the Match with a bunch of my people.  I've done this there a couple times before, but never on the same night as their drag show at the front of the bar.  (Thank God we live in a blue state, otherwise the whole place probably would get shut down.)  Me and about two dozen of us were in the lounge in the back seeing United FC have plenty of chances, especially in the First Half, but as the time melted away, I was OK going into Portland and getting a Point for a Tie.  (By the by, I cannot believe that the Loons have a winning record over the Timbers in Major League Soccer play, according to a statistic that flashed on the screen during the Match.  I swear Portland would have been trouncing us.  Or maybe I'm conflating what Seattle does to us.)  Anyway, in the 95th Minute (and there should have been only four Minutes added on to the end of the Game) MNUFC got the ball into the offensive Half and, after some passing around, Hlongwane bounced an ant-burner to the far corner for the Match's only Goal.

I was at that U. S. Open Cup Match where they finally outlasted Philadelphia even though the Union tied it up "at the death" at the end of regulation and the end of Extra Time.  We were due for one of these extremely late scores to go our way, and thank Buddha Bongi seems to know where to put them.  

This makes me forget that Robin Lod tore his meniscus in the Dynamo Match and it's possible he'll miss the rest of the season.  He has gone from fall guy to organization stalwart throughout the years, so his absence may be missed as much from fans as from his teammates.  In a sweet gesture, both after Hlongwane scored and after the final whistle blew, he did Lod's customary "shoot the aware" celly in his honor.  Aw!

So Lod and his adaptability are gone.  But if Bongi can keep up his finishing, and if Emanuel Reynoso can get up to speed quickly and reassert his place as one of the most adept ballhandlers in the league, the club can float up from fifth place, which is where they are now.

They have a U. S. Open Cup eighthfinal at Houston.  I'm surprised it's Tuesday, but I've made the decision not to watch Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 3 (I hope it's still in theaters the following week) and instead go back to the Black Hart to watch with my people.  Saturday they host Real Salt Lake in Major League Soccer action.

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -2).  Finished 3-3 for the Week.  The bats have awakened, sort of, but now the Bullpen has serious leaks.  Look no further than Friday's 5-4 defeat at The Los Angeles Of Anaheim Angels Of Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of ..., where the Twinks battled back from a 3-0 deficit after four Innings (from the arm of Joe Ryan, surprisingly) to take a 4-3 lead at the top of the 7th Inning, only for Griffin Jax to surrender two Runs, the lead and subsequently the Game.  Not to pick on Jax, but Twins beat writer for The Athletic, Aaron Gleeman, notes that Jax is responsible for the vast majority of instances where Minnesota has lost the lead this Year up-to-date.

And still Minnesota is the only team in the A.L. Central above .500, and they continue to maintain a bigger-than-slight lead in the Division; the Twins are 3 1/2 Games ahead of, of all clubs, Detroit.  This Week: After finishing up in Orange County, they fly home to face San Francisco for a three-Game series beginning Monday and Toronto for a trio starting on Friday.

#-3: Lynx (New Season!).  Started their Year Friday at home with a 77-66 Loss to Chicago.  Even with so many good players and only about 121 spots open for anyone who wants to play in the WNBA, this is clearly a rebuilding Year for the Jynx.  Napheesa Collier is back and will probably get back to her steady, unassailable ways.  And their First Round pick in this Year's Draft, Diamond Miller, probably is the ball-hawking Guard that will fill in a dimension this squad lacked last season.  Still, with the league dangerously lining up so that there are only two superteams, Las Vegas and New York, there doesn't appear to be much sense trying to go for the brass ring -- especially when the 2024 and 2025 WNBA Drafts seem impressively loaded.  So the Lynx are going to suck this Year -- and that's good, because that will increase the likelihood of a high Draft pick and a chance to select one of a bounty of prime studs, after this season and after the next.

Meanwhile, this screening Week they will host Atlanta and travel to Phoenix.

#-Infinity (tie): Gopher softball and Gopher baseball (Last Week, respectively: -1 and -4).  Welp, let's start with the Goofer baseballers first.  They finished their regular season with a 3-2 screening Week.  They dropped the rubber Game at Maryland, 15-9, beat South Dakota St. at home on Tuesday, 9-6, then beat Rutgers at Siebert by scores of 5-3 and 8-7 before losing yesterday/Saturday afternoon to the Scarlet Knights, 14-6.  Their 10-14 conference record puts them in tenth place, 1 1/2 Games behind Michigan St. for eighth and the last spot in the Big Ten Baseball Tournament.  So their season is over.

They finish 10-14 in the league with an 8-20 record off it.  That's not great, and is certainly a far cry from their days when they reached the NCAA Tournament on an occasional basis.  I still believe they're rising up from rock bottom.  John Anderson has announced he's returning for another Year, and while I believe in continuity and hope he sees this Renaissance through, I can't shake the feeling that the program can be turbocharged into something better if another, younger man was in charge.  Just my gut feeling.

Now, unfortunately, we must go to the U. softballers, who crashed and burned out of the NCAAs by getting beaten twice by a team seeded lower than them, McNeese (who, by the way, apparently no longer identifies as "McNeese St.").  Now, it's not as if they were embarrassed by the ... Cowgirls, I believe.  The first Game between them on Friday went a ridiculous 13 Innings before the Goofers lost, 5-4.  It was tied at three at the end of regulation; the Cowgirls obviously scored two in the top of the 13th, but the U. managed to score only one in the bottom.  Minnesota bounced back by eliminating the 4-Seed in this Seattle Region, Northern Colorado, 4-0 last/Saturday night, but in a rematch from the Night before, they lost to McNeese by a single Run again, 1-0.  That Run was scored in the Second; the Pitcher who allowed that solitary Run and thus gets hung for the Loss, Jacie Hambrick, allowed only one Hit, that Single to Cowgirl First Baseman Corine Poncho that scored the Game-winning, Season-ending Run.  McNeese's Ashley Vallejo went the distance, allowing six Hits but no Runs in upsetting the Goofers and sending them home prematurely.

McNeese?  Really?  A BcS school losing to McNeese St.?  I don't think I know where that place is -- Louisiana?  And the U. lost twice to them?  I know these players weren't going to win the Women's College World Series (that probably belongs to Oklahoma), but still ... McNeese St.?

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