A Sign -- Leaning Against A Dumpster, But Maybe From Above -- Told Me To Not Dump Illegally

Saturday I had a few things I needed to do.  Before scooting over to the bank to grab some money, I was going to take out the trash because the can is full.  Now, because I create such little waste (thank you very much for your applause) my parents cancelled trash service because it wasn't necessary.  We figure instead that I can just go to a gas station and throw it in one of their garbage cans, right?

But inattentive me drove past the gas station.  I saw the bank when I realized I forgot to dump the trash, but I was too exasperated to drive back to the gas station.  Not knowing what to do, what appeared before me, like an oasis in the desert, was this huge, industrial-size dumpster just outside the local clinic, which is right next to the bank.  Score!  So I didn't have to double back at all; I just parked and tossed the bag of trash into the dumpster.  Problem solved!

It was a long day for me, but it was a day filled with fun.  After attending the MNUFC Loss (I'll talk about it in the WMNSS), I went to a local brewery now known for showing Timberwolves playoff Games outside on their parking lot.  On my way from where I parked my car to the brewery, I noticed in a parking lot (this is located in an industrial area) a huge dumpster, one much bigger than the one at the clinic.  And there was what appeared to be a giant whiteboard or poster board leaning against it.  It has words on it.  I like to read things, and I had time before the Game started, so I broke off and walked down to the parking lot to read it.

Paraphrasing, it said, "Do not throw your trash in here.  That's illegal dumping.  We have cameras all pointed at this parking lot.  If you do dump your trash here, we'll find you, and we'll catch you.  So smile, you're on Candid Camera!"

Oh, shit.  I didn't think I would get in trouble, but a part of me thought while I was tossing in my bag that I wasn't absolutely sure I wouldn't get in trouble.  This may be serendipity or pure dumb coincidence, but I took it as a sign that I shouldn't throw my trash where I guess I'm not allowed to throw it.

So, once the Game was done (the Wolves won!), I went back to the clinic.  I was able to fish out the bag of trash, and, come to think of it, the gas station was on the way back home.  So I put it there, where I initially intended to toss it.  So, to use a basketball phrase, no harm, no foul, right?  Well, I'll see if the local police knock on my door in the next week for something I made right.

She's Back (Finally)!!!

Well, not only did the minivan get me to the movie theater and back just fine (Ballerina was ... OK -- it's as messy and interminably violent as any Len Wiseman movie), I got fantastic news when I turned on my phone after the film: ****e's finally back!  I was so lonely that I did my monthly text to her yesterday/Sunday afternoon.  Well, after many months, she texted back!  She was overseas staying with her family, and she just got back Saturday.  What timing!

I (re-)broke the ice by asking how is her family, but we both know that eventually I want to see and fuck her again, so hopefully that hasn't changed.  Damn, it's been some time since I sunk my junk in someone!

Maybe I've Been Phished By Poker All This Time

So I've been trying to do my daily free slot machine spin at Zynga Poker, but my antivirus software, which I have had for the laptop I use for several years now, suddenly is preventing me from playing it.  The software gives me a warning box saying the game is a potential phishing site.  Has it been, all this time?  I don't think nefarious people have been able to get my personal information only because I've been playing online poker ... have they?

I find it odd this has cropped up now, tonight/Wednesday night, after years of playing this.  I think the software has been in use protecting my laptop all this time.  With that said, I got an e-mail earlier yesterday/Wednesday noting that my automatic payment renewing the antivirus software came through.  And now, in the nighttime, I can't play Zynga Poker.  Maybe it's coincidence, maybe it's not, but I am not going to evade my software just to play fake poker.  We'll see how if this continues and whether the antivirus drops its defenses, or something.  But right now, I will trust that it is looking out for me.

Stay At Home? No. Sexytime Jag It Is!

Despite probably not having the money to do so, it has been a while since I've gotten my pee-pee touched.  And it always seems as though invitations to stripper parties coincide with booty texts from my stripper girlfriends where they go, "Hey, I'm lonely, you wanna cum over?"  Now, in times like these I also get a little horny, so I might also be texting my stripper girlfriends where I go, "So, you wanna jerk me off or what?"

I am in that spate now.  It actually started from a text I got from ***u** Tuesday afternoon, whom I haven't heard from in a long while.  She has teamed up with her usual partner in crime, ****e, to host a party at this guy's place in north Minneapolis.  It's fun times.  Unfortunately, it was last/Thursday night, and after all the nights I've gone out and spent money this week, I really, really just wanted to veg out at home.  Also, ***u** owes me $50 because she was desperate for groceries for her children, and I don't feel comfortable seeing her for anything until we address that.  I usually have fun times with her and ****e over there, but this didn't seem to be the right time.

I was going to text another of my stripper girlfriends, ******e, if I could drive down to south Minneapolis this weekend so she can give me a handjob.  Well, she texted me out of the blue Tuesday evening, telling me that her partner in crime, my beloved ***e*, will be in town from Wisconsin.  I owe those two a double team, and neither one of them owes me money, so I arranged an appointment.  I really wanted Sunday afternoon, but ***e* is back on the road by then, so even though I really wanted to stay in, tonight/Friday night is it.

(Something changed, however.  After work yesterday/Thursday ******e asked me to call her, which is something she has never asked me to do.  It was important-ish: ***e* cannot make it.  However, she still wants to double-team me with another one of her friends, someone I have never met.  ******e says her friend is cute and that she is down for whatever.  I am leery, but I need to expand my options of whores.  Plus, I am perverted as fuck right now, so I said yes, I'll accept the substitute.)

And on top of that, I texted *****y Wednesday night to see if we could get together this weekend, too.  She is the hot one where we have missed connections a few times now, most recently a couple weeks ago.  What might help facilitate a tryst is that I have Monday off -- how I realized that should be the subject of my next blog post -- and in fact that would be ideal.  However, after saying I had both Sunday and Monday free, she immediately told me to come over Sunday at 12:30.  It's a date.

You know, I just realized that because of my dick, I am going to spend money, and a lot of it, today/Friday and Sunday, two days I had hoped and initially planned on staying home and not spending any money.  I'm in a desperate quest to see if I can still get it up, and if I can still derive pleasure from sexual contact.  Hope so, and I hope the money's worth it!

Sidelined Again

It looks like I won't be in The Fourth Department this week, either.  Someone who hasn't been back there is taking up the back half there for the week, and the first half of the week is being dedicated (at least for now) by the person who is getting trained and probably needs lots of reps to get into the swing of things.  But I still can't help but feel sidelined.  This, coincidentally, is a great way to keep me off of overtime.

Ugh.  Right now I feel like I should be making more than I am.  So, why aren't I doing something about it?

So I'm Getting A Colonoscopy This Week ...

... and I have been alternately frightened and bemused.  I have heard about the clear liquid diet, the preparation for that, about downing diuretics and Gatorade and lots and lots and lots of water, then evacuating your colon to the point where your fecal matter is urine.  When my sister was here we had dinner with my brother.  He talked about the colonoscopy he went through, and he called it "pissing out of his ass," and I think I lost my appetite then and there.

Then again (and sorry to be graphic here), Saturday night, returning from the MNUFC Match, I stepped into Kwik Trip because I wanted something to consume, and I tried their smoothie machine for the first time, and by God, for the next three hours I was running into the toilet to take a crap.  I have had diarrhea attacks before, and I want to think that I will go through something similar later this week when I get on this regimen.  I've been on the toilet for 45 minutes at a time.  I've felt as though I am excreting my organs.  My anus has been on fire before.  It's not great, but it's not an unfamiliar feeling.  So how different can this be?  Right?

What scares me a little more is the food restrictions that I will be, and am now, under.  I start the low-fiber diet soon, and I'm scared I'll accidentally eat something I'm not supposed to eat.  Worse than that, I will be working two days before I have to start the clear liquid diet and I can see myself not thinking and eating something I'm not supposed to eat.

Moreover, I don't know what other people (including Mother, who is also getting her colonoscopy this week, what a coinky-dink) are told to do, but I was told that starting last Friday, I am not to eat anything with corn, popcorn, nuts or seeds.  My clinic says that these things can stay in my system for a long time, and they can interfere with the probe.  I don't think Mother and her clinic has that prohibition.  At any rate, I can totally brainlessly consume stuff with those things.  For example, all this weekend I've been watching soccer Matches (the leagues are winding up this weekend), and I planned on drinking myself silly on Bloody Marys.  But I think the mix includes celery seed.  That counts as a, you know, "seed," right?  In the long run it's no big deal -- I drank ciders instead -- but I like my Bloody Marys.  Also, I want to finally see Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 3 on Tuesday, and I always get popcorn.  But not this Tuesday.  And T-Mobile is giving me a free large popcorn too, but that expires ... on Tuesday.

(Aside: The low-fiber diet is weird in the sense that what I can eat is oftentimes bad for your health and what you can't eat is oftentimes good.  I was given a list and I can't help but see what is permitted and forbidden.  I'm not supposed to have any whole wheat, nuts, oatmeal, prunes, or granola.  There are some foods that I can eat that are good for you -- I think I'm going to lean heavily on bananas this week -- but most meats are permissible, as are milk (some people think it's too fattening, so I'm going to include it in the "bad food" column) butter and carbonated drinks, so I assume that means pop.  [I may not be able to eat popcorn, but I sure as hell will drink pop when I see the movie on Tuesday.]  Isn't it strange that to pull off this colonoscopy, I need to lean on stuff that's bad for me?)

Again, it's not a big deal (even though I hate passing up on free food), but the timing kind of sucks.  Then again, if I don't do it this week, the earliest possible date is the week of Independence Day, and I get the feeling my parents don't want to be in Minnesota that long.  So, I take the plunge this week.

I was told by my physician that if I get a clean bill of health, I won't have to do another colonoscopy for ten years.  There is the other method, the one pushed by ColorGuard, the one where you just shit in a box and send it in for testing.  I was told by my doctor that if you come up negative that way, you don't have to do anything like this for three years.  Honestly, I'd rather do the old-fashioned colonoscopy because it seems more thorough (I'll be knocked out, and if the doctor sees polyps he can just cut them out during the probe).  I also don't like pooping into a box.  Not to say the preparation isn't classy, but shitting into a box seems to be really, really barbaric.  I spoke about colonoscopies with my cousin (when my sister was here, we had dinner at his place), and he totally preferred pooping in a box.

Oh yeah, I also don't like shitting in a box because this Saturday Night Live skit scares the fuck outta me:

I Was A 24-Hour Party Person, And Not By Choice

I took a nap around, oh, 4 or 4:30 Sunday as the Eagles were just killing the 49ers.  No use staying up for a football Game when it's not in doubt.

I woke up at around 5:30, fortunately just in time for me to see the kickoff the AFC Championship Game.  I did stay up to watch the whole thing, thankfully, and I didn't fall asleep because it was a great Game from beginning to end.

And I didn't sleep for another, oh, 28 1/2 hours.  I tried going to sleep.  I felt as though my energy was flagging around midnight, but I powered through by staying on the Internet until, oh, 2:30.  I turned off the lights, crawled back into bed ... then realized I wasn't tired at all.  Remember that 9 1/2- hour sleep I got for Saturday morning that made me late for my free Chick-Fil-A?  I think that made me so refreshed that my circadian rhythm got out of whack, and that nap Sunday evening threw it off even more, to the point where I couldn't sleep at all overnight.

That scared the crap out of me.  I was afraid I was going to conk off on my way to work, or at work.  I just wanted to make it to my lunchtime nap.  I got a free Rockstar energy drink from, uh, maybe a United Match over the summer that I had no real interest in drinking because energy drinks scare me, but I kept it in the refrigerator anyway in case I needed a jolt of energy.  Well, yesterday was it.  I popped it open mid-morning.  I've had them before -- they always taste too sweet, like they think you puckering your lips will keep you awake.  I felt a little as if my heart was going to burst through my chest.  I didn't feel a second wind or anything, but I was awake, so maybe the Rockstar can take credit.

I took lunch as usual, around 1:15.  Thought I'd be so tired that I could sleep through my alarm.  But I didn't fall asleep.  At all.  That scared me because I planned on working out last night.  Still did since apparently my body still thought it could go, go, go.  But a series of things stopped me.  First, it's damn cold out there right now.  Second, there was shopping for groceries and running off to the library I needed to do.  Third, I planned on grabbing some gasoline for storage, plus the minivan could get its tank topped off, and my coupon expired last night, so I wanted to do all that.  And finally, on my way to the community center, I just felt ... tired.  I think my body started to give out.  I needed to go there because I needed to check whether I paid for my membership last year; my company provides reimbursement for fitness-related expenses, and today is the last day to send in receipts.  (I paid for over a year in advance back in 2021; any reimbursement I would have gotten I did get last year.)  I was going to kill two birds with one stone and then work out, but ... yeesh, I didn't want to.

Getting gas was an adventure.  I had to go to a specific brand's station.  I was going to go to the one closes to me, but some asshole cut me off and by stupid goddamn coincidence was going to the same gas station as I.  Hey prick, did a hot bodybuilder diddle herself in front of you for free over Snapchat Sunday night?  No?  Fucking loser.  Anyway, the second I went to turned off all their pumps.  The whole fucking station was shut down.  The hell was that shit?  I finally went to the one I usually go to because there you can still pump before you pay.  Should have gone there straightaway.

By the time I came back it was 9.  I thought about working out at home, but my fingers and toes were really, really cold.  I bought some groceries at the gas station where I got gasoline, and so I made myself a sandwich.  I hopped on the computer and then my body felt really, really tired.  My body was finally giving out, so I called it a night a bit past 10.  Woke up around 5 this morning.  Don't feel refreshed, but I think my body is in better shape.

Oh, by the way: Since I was up, I thought that I could sneak in grocery shopping at Target before heading in to work.  But then I remembered that I still had the free chicken biscuit at Chick-Fil-A.  Yesterday/Monday was the last day to use it (did I say that in my previous blog post?  Guess not), and I figure it was kismet that I could use it.  So, top of the morning at 7, I went there and used it.  And hey, the restaurant was actually open!

Stripper Read My Mind!

I am going to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Version ... but come to think of it, I don't think I need to make that distinction now that My Favorite Stripclub [Non-Cover Edition] has been closed for close to three years) after work tonight because I want to see my All-Time Favorite there.  I was hoping to see her on Halloween because I have nothing to do on Halloween, but I texted her to make sure she was working then, and she told me she wasn't.  Good to have her number.

I still wanted to see her, so I thought that tonight would be a good time.  I figured I be nice to unwind after a long and trying day at The Fourth Department.  My schedule has changed, though, and I think I might save the details on that for my next blog post.  Anyway, I told my ATF I'd drop in tonight, and I'm sticking to it.

Just to make sure she's still going into work -- and to give my penis a little rise -- I thought I would text her tonight to say, "Hey, see you tomorrow!"  I was going to do it late last night.  But, just as I picked up my phone to text her, I saw that she had texted me first -- "See you tomorrow!"  Wow!  Not only is she thinking of me, she thought of me at the same time as I thought of her!  It's like we share the same brain!!  Man, I'm gonna totally tell her that tonight and she's gonna totally be blown away by that!!!

Seriously, though, that was nice, both the coincidence and the text.

The Rest Of The Workweek Should Be A Breeze!

Monday was normal.  Well, it was on the meager side; it got to the point where work was so slow that we were sent into the lab to do stuff.  I don't like doing that, but hey, it's part of the job.

Tuesday was the most hectic day of the week, probably.  I was up on my feet scanning forms in the afternoon, and that's a lot, but it's something I know to do, and I don't have to communicate with anybody else (well, not really) in order to do my job.

Moreover, I brought in fancy chocolate for the two big rooms I work in, out in keying and the actual room where my other three positions reside.  I hadn't brought in fancy chocolate in a while, and so I thought it was time.  I've been worried in the past because there would be a bunch of chocolates left over after I present them early in the day, as if they didn't really like the chocolate I bring.  My supervisor also brings out chocolate, and the group usually plows through them by the end of the day.  I have a theory: The ones she brings are the fun size, well-known brands that are individually wrapped.  My fancy ones are unwrapped and come on their own doilies.  Maybe people are freaked out over the unwrapped chocolates and think unwrapping their own ensures they're fresh, or even safe?  Or, maybe they know a Snickers or a 3 Musketeers but don't know the high-end boutique chocolatiers that I buy from.  Yeah, maybe it's that.

Anyway, for the data entry room/hallway, at the end of the day (I don't know how the other people in the other room liked it; unlike data entry, which I doled out around 10, I gave theirs at the end of the day simply because I was too busy), out of the box of 16 chocolates, only two were left over when my day was done.  We actually had a long day that nearly all of us had to stay after for because the work didn't get done in time.  I kind of think that those people were finally relieved to leave, and so treated themselves with a chocolate.  Well, maybe that, or maybe it was the fact that my supervisor called in sick.  Since she usually brings in chocolate, we would have been out of chocolate if not for me.  Therefore, maybe they were desperate for any chocolate.

I'm bringing in a lot of threads here, so forgive me for jumping around.  My supervisor still remains cold with me.  I guess we're just not people on the same wavelength.  It is what it will be.  But I wonder if she was going to get all pissy with me bringing in chocolate if she were to do the same thing.  So I got a break in not needing to, well, compete with her.  I gave out my chocolate, the co-workers seemed to like it, and at the end of the day, I ate the two pieces left over in my car before I left the parking lot.

Oh, and another thing.  My supervisor wasn't the only person who called in sick.  The other girl with whom I do not get along also called in sick yesterday.  I'm sure she wouldn't go for the chocolate, and I'm sure I wouldn't care.  But without her there, there was zero chance I would have a run-in with her.

So, to sum up Tuesday: The two people I have clashed with the most just happened to call in sick, and I was the one to supply chocolate to the group, which appears to have been warmly received.  Those two people might have been back to work today ... but I wouldn't know nor care, because I took the day off!  And for tomorrow and Friday, I won't have to work next to them because I am working in My Favorite Department the rest of the week!  Where I likely will have only one job!  And I get to sleep in!  And then go off in the evening and do my own thing!

Now, to sum up my whole week: It's a fantastic workweek!  I don't have to compete for people's affinity for chocolate, my co-workers like the chocolate I bought, the people I don't get along with are there when I'm not and vice versa (that's a fantastic series of coincidences that might not ever happen again), and the work, while busy at times, is manageable.  Throw in that I'm only working four days this week, and this workweek is bliss.  I have to stop and appreciate how lucky and fortunate I am.

Of course, things could go south if something unexpected happens the rest of the week.  Maybe I have willed that into existence just by blog posting this?

It's A COVID Coincidence!

Now that a lot of my anxieties have been assuaged because both of my parents are now on track to get their shots, I can now stick my head above water and start asking other members of my extended family if our elders are in line, too.

After dinner, I texted both of my cousins to see if their parents/my uncle and aunts gotten appointments yet.  And sure enough, after I fired off a text to my second cousin, I received a text message from my sister-in-law asking if my parents are getting their shots.

We're all concerned!!  And at the same time!!!

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: 0).  No, sweeping a pair of matches at Maryland, a school that I don't believe the university invests in, isn't spectacular.  But I have to note that through two series and four Games the U. has won 12 Sets and lost zero.  Plus, I'll be honest -- with eight local teams playing this Week, I feel pressure to push some of them upward.  So, going 4-0 to start the season is, at least for this WMNSS, good enough to push this team up to Positives.  This weekend they visit Purdue for a pair.

#0: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  Scoring 30 Goals in the past four Games?  Not too shabby.  Swept Ohio St. in Columbus last week by scores of 5-1 and 5-2.  Those wins float the U. up to second in both polls, behind only Boston College.

Quick notes on the tournament ... in case you haven't heard, the city of Manchester, N. H., has backed out of hosting its Regional.  No word yet on a replacement site or replacement plans, but for all I know, the NCAA is forging ahead with their regular tournament schedule and format.  Meanwhile, the main metric used to select which teams get into the 16-team tourney, the PairWise, is useless this Year.  The PairWise only works when there are inter-conference Games, and because of the coronavirus pandemic, all the teams are playing league Games only.  So, similarly, the NCAA has not come out with a plan on how to seed the field, let alone rank them.  Will they still do the PairWise (which would work when comparing teams in the same conference, will they only say so many teams for each of the six conferences will get in, a hybrid of both, or something else entirely?  The tournament is less than two months away, so I hope the NCAA comes out with a plan soon.

Border battle tonight/Friday night and tomorrow/Saturday night; Gophers host Wisconsin.

#-1: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -5).  In the second and final of these pandemic-created "tri-meets," the squad went to New Jersey, octupled Purdue, 32-4 Sunday morning, then outlasted host Rutgers in the early afternoon, 21-18.

I should talk about that great escape vs. the Scarlet Knights a bit.  Two ranked Gophers -- #17 Michael Blockhus at 149 lbs. and #16 Jake Allar at 174 -- were upset by unraked Rutgers rasslers, the latter via Technical Fall by the Knights' Jackson Turley.  So it was a good thing that 125-lb. #9 Patrick McKee started the Dual with Rutgers by pinning #15 Nic Aguilar and #15 Andrew Sparks got a Major Decision on Brett Donner at 165.  Still, the Scarlet Knights were leading, 18-16.  Thank goodness the U. has as good a closer (in Heavyweight) as any school can in top-flight wrestling; #1 Gable Steveson racked up a Technical Fall on Rutgers' Boone McDermott for the three-Point team victory.

They host Illinois this/Friday evening.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Re-Entry!).  A disquieting split at Ohio St.  Won Friday's match, 7-4, but lost to the Buckeyes on Saturday, 3-1.  The squad now has lost three of their last four Games.  Sure, they're still second in the USCHO.com poll, but still.

Wisconsin is #1.  And it just so happens that the Badgers, like their male hockey counterparts, will be coming to Dinkytown for a two-Game series.  When was the last time both Badger hockey teams played here on the same weekend?  Man, if times were normal, this would be the only thing sports fans in town would be talking about -- #1 vs. #2 on the women's side, the resurrected Gopher men trying to introduce the Wisconsin men to a little bit of prison sex ... I gotta think tickets would be at a premium!

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  This is damning with faint praise, but the Woofie Dogs may not ever be this high up in the survey the rest of their season.  That is mostly due to the fact that the four clubs below them all had worse weeks.  And even though they lost to Philadelphia, Cleveland and San Antonio this past screening Week (the last two by only two and three Points, respectively, but they can I fucked up at the end of both Games, so whatever), a win Sunday over the Cavaliers gets the Wolves here.  In the meantime, D'Angelo Russell continues to be a high-volume, inefficient shooter.  And by the way, Karl-Anthony Towns is still out because of COVID.  It's been a long time.

Tonight/Friday night and tomorrow/Saturday night begins the first of what probably will be several pandemic-influenced two-Game series, these in Oklahoma City.  They then travel to Dallas before coming home for the only contest at Target Center in a stretch of eight tilts, Wednesday versus the Clippers.

#-4: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -2).  Got destroyed at home by 26 to Iowa Sunday afternoon to snap their winning streak at three.  The team was supposed to play in Michigan last/Thursday evening, but the entire Wolverine athletic department has been shut down for two Weeks due to an outbreak of cases.  (This will be a theme for the rest of the survey.)  This Week: At Ohio St. Sunday afternoon, then Illinois in The Barn Wednesday.

#-5: Wild (Last Week: -3).  They were 1-2 versus The Bastard Quebec Nordiques in what essentially was a four-Game regular season series (and by the way, that win happened when they were wearing their "Reverse Retro" jerseys of the Wild logo in North Stars colors -- coincidence?) before the team got shut down because of a COVID-19 outbreak.  Five or six players for Minnesota have come down with it, and so on Wednesday the NHL forced the entire organization to shut down for a Week.  That means that the last Game in Colorado, a two-Game set at Xcel vs. The Bastard Winnipeg Jets this weekend, and the first of two against St. Louis at home will now have to be rescheduled (and let's see if they're able to play the Blues Thursday).

This is leading age of what appears to be a bad storm for the league.  Right now, technically, there are five teams that are ceasing operations; Colorado, New Jersey, Buffalo and Las Vegas have all been mandated to shut down, although the Golden Knights appear ready to resume their schedule tonight/Friday night.  These teams have crossed paths; earlier this week, the Devils and Sabres played each other, and later, Buffalo officials were pissed that they played the Devils when they learned a Devil had a positive test.  The Sabres were shut down shortly thereafter, and you cannot tell me that team didn't catch the virus from Jersey.  Similarly, the Avalanche were told to shut down shortly after the Wild were told to shut down, so it stands to reason a Wild player or players infected Colorado during their series.

Such is the problem with not playing in a bubble.  The NHL, NBA and MLS, after some early rough patches, were able to complete the previous seasons after hermetically sealing all the players in a venue.  (The NWHL, not so much; see below.)  But reports are that the players were lonely and getting very homesick.  They were not going to go through a bubble situation again, so the leagues are trying to play in venues as normal, and you can see that acting as if things are normal has not stopped this virus at all.  Was it worth trusting players to be careful on their own?  The league is tightening protocols in the face of this rash of coronavirus spread, but now they'll have to find a way to shoehorn all these missed Games in the back half of the season.

#-6: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -6).  OK, we now need to start worrying about this team.  Their losing streak now is at three with losses at Purdue and Rutgers.  The defeat to the Boilermakers Saturday was a familiar one: The U. hung tough at Halftime, but then the opponent started to pull away at the beginning of the Second Half and the Gophers could not respond.

The loss to the Scarlet Knights last/Thursday night was much more troubling, and part of the reason I have them ranked this low.  This was an extraordinarily tight Game at the end, but within the last, oh, 90 Seconds or so, the U. stopped making their shots while Rutgers made theirs.  And then, with about a dozen Seconds to go and the Knights up by four, they missed a Free Throw but got the Offensive Rebound.  Now again, it was a two-possession Game at that point.  But shit, man, couldn't anyone muster up the energy to grab the loose ball?  And even when they didn't, wouldn't the game situation require you to foul again, even if the possibility of tying the Game was remote by that point?  I heard the end of the Game on the radio, and the way the club just ... gave up is very, very disturbing.

These Goofers host Nebraska Monday and Purdue Thursday.  This was supposed to be the easy part of the schedule, and they're now in danger of throwing their whole season away because they're underachieving against it.

#-7: Whitecaps (Last Week: -1).  Well, that turned to shit in a hurry.  The Whitecaps were supposed to play Buffalo.  Then the NWHL rejiggered the format because the Metropolitan Riveters left the bubble/tournament/season.  Then the Connecticut Whale pulled themselves out.  The Rivs left because of an outbreak of COVID-19; the Whale did not say that was the reason they exited, which made me wonder then just why the hell they were leaving.  (The team later said they took off out of an abundance of caution for the wellbeing of their players.  OK. ...)

With four teams, the league just decided they were going to have Semifinals and Finals (the former set to be played today/Thursday), the 'Caps going up against the Boston Pride in what would have been the 2019-20 Isobel Cup Final, and both Games (and the Final) airing on NBCSN, the first time professional women's hockey would be broadcast on television.  But then even more positive tests popped up, and so on Wednesday the NWHL said they were "suspending" the season.  Unfortunately, well-placed sources, on condition of anonymity, have said that this Year, and this experiment, is over.  And that will mean this fledgling league, which had just picked up two major sponsors (and some shit over playing footsie with the alt-right sports media organization Barstool), will not have crowned a champion the past two Years.

I feel bad for the Whitecaps, who, as far as I know, is not a source of the coronavirus.  (They lost in a hastily-arranged match vs. Toronto, where they dropped to the second seed and were going to play the third-seeded Pride.)  But it does bring into question how in the hell did an environment supposedly in a "bubble" get riven with the virus?  It apparently wasn't a "bubble" in the strictest sense; some players were brought in to Lake Placid, N. Y., while the tournament was going on, and the NWHL still hasn't fully disclosed what health protocols were in place to keep out the virus.  Those disclosures should result in an embarrassing black eye for the league, but they now have to worry about how to maintain visibility in the midst of failing to complete a second straight season.  And considering a rival startup league is trying to get an exhibition Game off the ground in the hopes of providing a replacement for the NWHL, professional women's hockey may be in a very precarious spot.

Mole In The Resistance?

For the first time in a long time, the Resistance over the alumni clubs met.  It was convened by someone I would call a "shadow figure."  He says he cannot be a conspicuous figurehead for the group, but besides that he is an extremely active, and vocal, member of our group.  In fact, I have sometimes chafed over both his opinions and attitude -- at times -- knowing that he has not put his face and reputation on the line by actively engaging with the other side in our attempts to broach some sort of compromise.  He has his reasons; nonetheless, I think we need to assert our side a little more -- at times -- because we are the ones doing the dirty work.  (With that said, I need to point out that lately he has been more cognizant of his position in this group.  He still has questions and wants to contribute, but he did say that he asks those questions and volunteers his time and effort even though "he isn't there."  A little self-awareness is all I ask.)

And I am digressing.  The point of this blog post is that, after this Zoom meeting, I went over to what was once my alumni club's Facebook page.  It is still there, but now it is co-administered, and thus co-moderated, by members of the alumni association.  This was done before the decision over the summer to kill off all domestic alumni clubs.  When that happened, we were told that officials with that department would take a more visible role in social media platforms.  In, well, taking over our Facebook page, for example (even though I still was allowed to remain as an administrator and moderator), I was led to believe they would post more.  It might be articles touting the university, propaganda as such, but, well, I didn't think I had much of a choice.  (Even though I did -- I might get to blog posting about that some other time.)

That increased publishing hasn't happened.  I think some person I do not know posted two links to which members could sign up for some study of some sort.  But since this change began, no one from that association has posted anything.  I, however, have, and still have.  I could have, and maybe should have, taken this stupid decision as a reason to walk away from doing anything connected with my alma mater.  But I can't quit it.  So I am staying and fighting.  And I am occasionally publishing stuff on the football team and news about my alma mater and surrounding Los Angeles County.

So back to last night.  I posted on Facebook a death about a member of the football team (he was with them in the eighties) last night, just before the meeting.  I check back later ... and that post was liked or "reacted" (and if he did "react," he gave the sad emoji since the post concerned a death) by the head of my alma mater's alumni association.  It is the first time I have seen him lurking around our Facebook page.  Moreover, he liked my previous post about a five-star recruit committing to my alma mater.

Yes, this may just be coincidence.  Nonetheless, I'm freaking out.  The night we huddle together for a meeting, and then this guy, who all of us consider to be cutthroat and Machiavellian, just starts to come around my way and liking my posts?  I understand I might be looking a tad paranoid, but I'm not.  I'm really concerned.  I'm really concerned he choose to, well, pick on me because we're meeting again.  This is not some innocent gesture of solidarity.  He's probing for weaknesses.  He's playing mind games.  And ... no joke, I think someone from the meeting tipped him off that we were meeting.  This leader of the association was tipped off by this meeting by an apparent mole, and he decided, of all the people in The Resistance to fuck around with, he settled on me.  Don't know why.  And goddamn, I don't know what he wants.

And also -- WHO'S THE MOLE?

Things Fall Apart, A Three-Part Series -- Part II: Can A Remote Control Just Conk Out?

Yeah, it happened a couple weeks ago, I think?  I wanted to turn on my TV, which is between five and ten years old but doesn't seem to have any problems with it, and I couldn't do it with my remote.  I thought the batteries finally ran out, but I switched them and it still didn't work.  Which made me believe that, after years of no trouble, my remote control just crapped out, utterly and immediately.

In an example of how Amazon has warped all our perceptions when it comes to shopping, going online to buy a replacement remote was my first instinct ... not remembering that Target or Wal-Mart might have them, I don't have to wait for it to be delivered, and it might be cheaper.  But the one I saw at Wal-Mart ... well, it might be a pipe dream, but they are not the exact same remote control I have.  I don't think the ones available have all the buttons in all the places my original equipment remote have them in.  And, this is cosmetic, but my original has "SAMSUNG" written on the bottom, and the one I saw.  (I also went to Target but they didn't have a remote in my brand ... and come to think of it, I have not gone to Best Buy, although maybe I should have.)  So I bought a remote which has a picture of an exact replica of my OEM remote, and I bought that, knowing full well it might just be the same close-but-not-quite remote I saw at Wal-Mart.  I'll take that chance.  And so I ordered it, like, more than a week ago.

Amazon says the remote won't come until early February at the earliest.  Really?  You can't find a Samsung Original Equipment Manufacturer remote control in any of your warehouses in the States?  You have to get it from South Korea ... or have it made in South Korea, and then get it sent by, apparently, cargo ship and then Pony Express?

I don't know if this is a concurrent development or if it's just coincidence, but for the past couple weeks I cannot get Channel 4, the local CBS affiliate.  I tried scanning (this was just before my remote conked out), and it still didn't come in.  Weird.  So I have had to go out to the dining room TV whenever I wanted to watch Colbert or AFC NFL Games.  I can't wait for this remote control to arrive, and then I need to figure out how to get all my channels on my television set.

Fuck COVID, I Need To Get Fucked

Yeah, my promise not to whore around while Minnesota is aflame with coronavirus is not going perfectly.  Sort of.

Two days before the blog post I linked to above, I did a litany of Happy Thanksgiving texts to everyone I knew, but especially my stripper girlfriends.  I really wanted to check in with all of them, but mostly I wanted to maintain communication with them in case I could fuck them for money.

My dream scenario, in which one of my lines in the water bit, actually happened the day after I blog posted.  ****e, someone with whom I have had halting dalliances for years, started a conversation with me (I paraphrase below):

"How are you?" she said.

"Lonely a bit," I replied, "You?"

"Didn't really celebrate.  Wasn't feelin' that good."

"Sorry about that.  Hope you feel better."

"I'm sorry your (sic) feeling lonely.  Do you want some company anytime soon?"

CHA-FUCKING-CHING!!!  WE GOT A LIVE ONE!!!

So I volunteered a date of last Friday afternoon to ring twice, so to speak.  She needed to get back to me, then said she could not find a babysitter for her two young sons (actually grandsons ... long story).  OK, I said, I am free the following Friday, which is today.  She said on Wednesday that she still needs to confirm, but that should work.

As I was priming my cock for some fucking around, I texted last/Thursday evening to confirm we were still good.  Have not heard back.  She does have a flightiness factor with her, but I don't consider her a cocktease.  Nevertheless, I am planning for a no-go, and even a ghosting, although I'm looking at porn right now and deciding I won't jerk off, just in case ****e comes back with a "Sorry, totally forgot about you ... yeah, cum on over!"

But if she does freeze me out, maybe I should take it as a sign.  Her kids (who I think she adopted from their mother/her daughter, who died unexpectedly last year) may or may not be in school, but are of an age that has been proven (maybe?) to be germ wagons for the coronavirus.  Also, she posted on Facebook this week asking her friends if they are going to get the vaccine as soon as it's available.  You only ask such a question if you're really thinking about not getting the vaccine yourself.  That combination worries me.  It makes me think ****e isn't serious about the pandemic.  And that raises the possibility that she has contracted it (either from her kids or, say, going to a bar in Wisconsin), and then, while I'm kissing and am inside her, I'll catch it.  (Aside: Of all the women I've been seeing during this pandemic, none of them have kids.  And, as of the test I took last week, I am still testing negative.  Coincidence?)

So I'm not going to be bent out of shape if I don't hear from her.  But I'll be honest: I have a condom I got back on the campus of the University of Colorado last year that's waiting to be used.  I plan on using it in ****e -- if not today, then next Friday, because I am free next Friday, too.  Even in the midst of a deadly pandemic, this man has to get his fuck on.  Heh.

The Four Trailers For Jojo Rabbit

They are, in order:

1. Emma
2. Burden
3. Wendy
4. Downhill

I've wanted to do this for some time -- try to see if I can remember the trailers I saw before a movie, and do so in order.  I finally am doing it right now because 1) frankly I need to blog about something tonight and 2) it's very notable, at least to me, that the four movies for which I saw trailers are not only one-world titles, but two-syllable titles as well.

It's also interesting to me that there were only four trailers for Jojo Rabbit.  Usually there are six or seven.  Maybe it's because it's an art film or maybe because the film has been around a while; I don't remember if this cinema ever had it, or is just bringing it in now because it was nominated for Oscars.

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Wednesday, January 8:

• Well, I'll have to start before then because the use of my credit cards has allowed me to shorten the EWRs (well, they remain long because I don't get around to them as often as I should).  So I go back to Saturday, January 4, where, after I got out of work, I went to Marco's, a lesser-known pizza chain.  I've seen a branch on the way home from work, and they have sent over a flyer every now and again, so I decided that I was going to pig out on pizza while watching back-to-back playoff football Games.  Better yet for Marco's: They have a small pizza version.  I got that, plus two types of sauce to dip the crusts in.  I didn't realize that Marco's sells sauces, however, and I couldn't find a place to edit my order, so I put in a new one.  I say that because it is relevant to the fact that the guy, once I got there, seemed confused that I had put in both orders and could not add them up ... because I gave him exact change for all three items so that I would only get dollar bills back instead, and he gave me back some coins in exchange for the coins I gave him as part of exact cents change.  Now, is he going to be either so embarrassed or some mad that I can't go back there?  Because I want to go back there.  Guess it doesn't matter; I put in a dollar tip, so even if the cashier short-changed the till, I more than made up for that with the dollar tip.  That's how it works, right?  Anyway, the total was: $12.02.
• Back to Thursday the 2nd, where work was so light that I decided to leave early.  It was a chance to do a few things I can't do during the workday now that I'm on a normal schedule.  One of the things that popped into my head was keeping active a small account at a credit union my family opened up as part of work with The Store.  The nearest branch was in Coon Rapids, so I went up there and threw in more money, even though the account is entirely irrelevant now that The Store is no more.  And not to look like a fool, but I threw in: $20.
• Later I got my hair cut.  Have a receipt for the card.  Haircutter didn't act like she gave a shit, so I tipped her only: $3.
• Then I called for ******e to come over.  Like I said, I should be aroused by her, but now I'm sort-of afraid of her.  And she probably still thinks I owe her money.  Total (for now): $125.
• Assuming I have some record of every expense until then, we gotta go all the way back to Boxing Day, aka Thursday, December 26.  My sister and brother-in-law were in town, and after staying with my brother and sister-in-law for a few days, they came up to the childhood home and stayed her with me for a few.  All they wanted for a Christmas gift was dinner and a movie.  The dinner was Saturday.  The movie was this night, and it was Parasite, the Korean thriller.  It was good, but the critics make it out to be a parable about class warfare when I just don't see it.  It is just a twisty caper between amoral people that makes me think of Shallow Grave.  But one of the decade's best?  Let's pump the brakes.  We had to go to Edina to see it, at a rundown cinema I had never been to in a tony part of town.  Three tickets plus large popcorn and large pop we all shared: $38.50.
• Monday the 23rd was the last night of BJ's.  I found a seat nowhere near the stage.  I ordered a Bud Light and gave a tip to dancer *****y (who was strictly waitressing) for the can of beer.  And then, until the owner threw us all out at the end of a bar fight, I got lap dances from, in order, Kirah, Lola, Giselle, Harley, Ashlee, Cali, Sky and Kelsey.  There were a few more strippers there I wanted dances from, but alas, that was it for me and this place for good.  The final grand total I spent at BJ's on this night is: $168.
• ETA on January 9 at 9:48 p.m. that I remembered that I went over to the Moose because, as we were getting thrown out of BJ's, that's where a bartender said everyone was migrating to.  I saw Kirah and another stripper, but that was it.  I nursed a domestic beer and left.  I totally forgot the cost with tip, so I'll just conjure up an amount: $4.50.
• On Sunday the 22nd ****e* came over to clean my house.  It had been almost a year since she came over.  She's great, but I still have the urge to be perverted around her in the very faint hopes she just gets naked and starts to fuck me.  But I did drop my pants and pee standing up while she was cleaning around the bathroom.  Yeah, I'm me.  ****e* said that the house was actually cleaner than the last time she was over, and because of that she didn't stay as long as she normally does, which means she asked for a little less than usual: $200.
• Saturday, December 21: After work I went over to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Edition) because I wanted to see my ATF, Claudia, before Christmas.  Luckily she was there, and to make up for lost time I got a record 16 table dances from her.  But Sky was also there!  I saw her onstage, and she didn't recognize me until I sat down and slipped her a dollar bill.  We had a laugh.  With cover and a Coke: $174.
• After that I went to Hooters, then after that I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) where, on stage, I saw Sky again!  And we both laughed our fucking asses off over the coincidence.  So I got an LD from her, even though I wanted a TD from her at the other place.  Anyway ... with tips and Sprite: $31.
• Thursday the 19th -- was shifted towards a later start in the morning, so I went to Caribou.  The foreign barista, I was convinced at this point, is a rude idiot.  Cash for the tip: $1.
• That night I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) because I needed to pack the visits in before it went.  Stage tips, vodka cranberry, and a lapper from one of the girls I saw The Last Night but didn't get a dance from, JJ: $33.
• On Wednesday the 18th I was also covering for someone who usually starts at 9, so again I went to Caribou for (again) a mocha and (again) I write down the EWR for the tip: $1.
• After work I needed to buy a white elephant gift for my sister-in-law and brother's Christmas party.  I settled on champagne flutes from Macy's, but I needed someone to wrap them.  Thankfully, Rosedale (whose Macy's store I bought the flutes from) gift-wraps at the customer service desk.  Thank Buddha for them!  And it only cost me: $6.50.
• While waiting for the gift to be wrapped I went down to the other end to take a second look at the brand-new food hall, POTLUCK.  It replaced Revolution Hall, another food hall that crashed and burned after eight months.  People have their theories as to its failure: It didn't take cash, no local vendors, the food was all made at the same place by the same company, and the storefronts were all just "fronts," bad customer service, etc.  It looked like POTLUCK had a bit more traffic, but that could be just because it was the holiday season.  I went to Nordic Waffles, which opened a storefront at the Minnesota State Fair in 2018 and was an instant hit.  With tip: $7.98.
• I then went to a party in North Minneapolis.  It was rented out by host *****a.  I thought the place would be crawling with strippers from clubs around the area, but I only saw, like, eight, and I only was able to get a couple of chaste dances from a woman named Summer before the party ended.  The way the party ended, however, was ... fuckin' bananas.  A stripper, who was drunk when I passed by her, apparently started a fight with the other girls over god knows what.  And there were punches thrown, hair pulled, and fingers bitten.  This is the first time I have ever seen strippers fight at a stripper party, and frankly, I thought it would have happened before this night.  Oh well, at least I have a story to tell.  With cover, the total was: $70.
• And I think I found a penny at a gas station, an Infusion of: 1 cent.
• Tuesday, December 17 ... went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version).  Coffee, tips, and two dances, one apiece from Asia (another of the strippers from who I wanted one final lapdance on The Last Night) and a lesbian stripper named Ariel.  Ariel is very nice.  She wasn't going to be around when the place shut down because she was going to Kansas to see her girlfriend's family for the holidays.  And when the waitress asked her for a drink while she was talking to me, I relented and paid for Ariel's drink.  All told I spent: $62.25.
• And on Sunday the 15th I fucked ****e for: $120.

Good through January 8.

Phone-Wise, I Think I Now Live In This Year, If Not The Next Decade

Well, I finally made the leap.  Five years to the day -- to the day -- I upgraded from my Samsung flip phone to an Apple iPhone 4, I finally activated and switched over to the iPhone XR.  It still doesn't seem to be all there, but I did call T-Mobile to let them know about the upgrade, so I think I've burned the bridge I just crossed over.

The 4 wasn't completely broken down.  It's just that, sadly, technology has rendered it obsolete, and maybe that's by Apple's devious design.  For example, there are many applications I simply cannot use because the iPhone has an operating system that new and better apps wouldn't support.  Plus it did get really slow, especially when loading maps and Twitter.  Finally, when calls started to get really dicey -- even though I don't know whether phone calls are subject to degradation from older cellphones -- the ball was rolling down the hill at a steady pace.

I was going to make the switch some time this weekend.  But I knew, from the first-ever message I sent out (to my parents) that it was around this time I jumped up to the 4.  After realizing that I probably blogged about this, I saw, from my blog post, that the evening of January 25, 2014 was when I made that jump.  (Wailing And Failing is good for some things.)  It seemed only fitting, then, that my 4 would serve five and exactly five years before I retired it.  That meant I spent most of the evening typing up my contacts and making sure everything uploaded and downloaded like it should have.  Again, it's not completely restored; I'm staying up because the iTunes library isn't on my XR, for example.  But I can use it to make calls and stuff, so I'm using this from now on.

(Aside: I bought the XR a few days past the New Year.  Most people would immediately move up to the new phone as soon as they brought it home.  I keep it in my drawer for three weeks before realizing that there is an "anniversary" coming up.)

One thing about this, though, and I'll blog post it hopefully some time in the near future; my recollection of the last upgrade, back in 2014, completely does not square with what I wrote in that blog post five years ago, and it's scaring me.

Well, have 4 1/2 hours of sleep before I have get up.  I'll set the alarm on my computer just in case the Clock setting on the XR does not work.

Poor Bastard Of The Moment: Cody Parkey

I found myself rooting for the Philadelphia Eagles in tonight's Wild Card game versus the Chicago Bears because I inherently root for the underdog.  But then I remembered: Isn't this the same team that bounced my Vikings in last year's NFC Championship Game, whose fans then stiffed the Twin Cities on tips on their way to winning the Super Bowl in our home stadium back in February?  Well, at least the Vikings didn't lose, so I can't be dejected any more.

Who is dejected?  Chicago Bears Kicker Cody Parkey, who did this:

He not only missed four kicks in a win over the Detroit Lions, he hit the upright all four times. He hit again once last week in beat my Vikes here. And then this. And a double doink at that. Six missed kicks, seven doinks.

I'm glad the Bears lost -- either way I'm glad a team lost -- but I still have to feel for Cody Parkey, who was mercilessly booed off the field and has had Bird Box memes tweeted about him. So everybody, say it with me now:

Poor Bastard.

Third Time's The Charm To Deposit A Fucking Check

Parents got a check from our gas utility.  Refund -- Minnesota's cool like that, even though other states may do the same thing.  Anyway, it's my job to deposit it according to my folks' wishes.

I have tried doing that, I swear.  But the first time I went to the bank, I had brought my parents' checkbook so I would know the account number, but I had forgotten the check.  I had left it on the piano.  And the second time I tried to do it, just yesterday/Tuesday, I had brought the check but I forgot the checkbook and thus the account number.  I left it in my computer bag.

Swear to God, I have never had such goddamn trouble depositing a fucking check.  I hope today/Wednesday, after work and before ***e* cleans the house and dirties me with a handjob, will finally be the bleepin' day I can turn in this son-of-a-bitch check.

Two World Cup-Related Things

It's been two weeks since the final, so I should do this now.

1) Remember the law firm gig, the one where I and three others were unceremoniously dumped from working?  Our first day was the first match of the World Cup, and our last day was the day of the first Semifinal.  In other words, Russia 2018 coincided, mostly, with what may be the last temp job I ever have.

2) If I had to pick one place to watch soccer, frankly, I'll go to the Nomad.  No offense to Brit's, maybe the most (and I mean this as a compliment) regal soccer pub in the Twin Cities, and oh-so, well, British.  And no offense either to The Nomad, the most, uh, Irish (I think?) pub in town.  There is one guy there who controls the sports that are shown on the TVs, and for his expertise and passion for soccer alone I think anybody in the city can rely on him.

But if there is any proletariat soccer pub in MSP, it would be the Nomad.  It's right in the middle of Cedar-Riverside, the place where most Somali refugees migrated to when leaving war-torn Somalia, so in many ways the Nomad is in an island.  And yet the grittiness that's conjured up in my head makes it the perfect place to take in a match.  There are other elements that make me think this is the right place for me to watch.  There's one huge room, although there is a patio and bocce ball lawns outside.  They don't serve food besides Heggie's pizzas, although the Nomad had a food truck for most games of the World Cup.  There are four TVs inside, the biggest of which is a projection screen that sits at the end of a stage that is used for music acts that play some evenings.  And while the bartenders don't seem to be total soccer geeks, the vibe of the customers who do come over to watch makes this my kind of soccer pub.

But I'll be honest.  A few times this World Cup I saw this new bartender, one I hadn't seen before the tournament.  And she's fucking hot.  Slim, long black hair, and she would always, always wear tops that are too short and jeans that are too low, showing off her fucking hot torso and her fucking hot tattoos.  Holy fuck, I got hard whenever I saw her tend bar.  So yeah, I like the Nomad for her, too.