Friday, January 3, 2020

Now I'm Afraid Of Her

So seeing that I had a sliver of time on my hands, I invited ***a*** over for some fun last/Thursday night.  And it was ... fun, after a lot of bullshit.  First we had to discuss money.  Then she insisted that she would only do so much for the same amount of money.  And then she said that her rates went up, and if she wanted me to do the same as before, I would have to pay her more money.  Then it took damn near 40 minutes (I'm totally guessing there) to cum, and ***a*** had to titty-fuck me in order for me to splooge.  It felt good; I just don't know if the rigmarole before that was worth the eventual ejaculation.

So I get home from work today and get a text from her.  "I'm horny; what are your fetishes?" she texted me.  And it should get me hot, but it doesn't.  Why?  Well ... the bullshit ***a*** put me through last night was a turn-off.  But ... well, I had a feeling about her going into asking her over last night, and afterward I just don't feel that ... aroused by her anymore.  Frankly put, I don't find her all that sexy.  She's got some massive natural tits, and she came (or at least acted like she came) incredibly loudly.  But ... that's it.

See, I didn't get all that hard when I was with her.  That can be attributed to a lot of things: Me jerking off the night before, the bullshit over money, taking so much time, being old, etc.  But I remember being with ***e* not too long ago.  She gets me hard much more often.  And that can be attributed to a bunch of things, she taking me out through my pants and not quibbling over money (I actually get rate cuts from her) among them.  But I feel as though she is genuinely interested in me sexually.  This too could be an act, but nearly every time I get into a tryst with her, I feel ... comfortable with her.  It's weird to say that being naked with ***e* is a safe space, but right now, I can't think of any other way to describe it.  (And, by the way, the last time I saw ***e*, when she made me erect, she was about seven months pregnant.  Knocked-up chicks do nothing for me, and yet ***e* did!)

But with ***a*** I feel, well, afraid.  And I wish her text asking me about my fetishes would get me hard, but it's quite the opposite; I kind of want to avoid her.  I know that's not her intention, but God, I felt creepy when she asked that.  So I texted her that I didn't have any fetishes, and I don't feel comfortable talking that way to her.  I didn't mean to put her off like that, and I'm now running the risk of angering her -- and she knows where I live.  But that's how I feel.  She's coming on way too strong, and I don't like that.

Man, what have I gotten myself into?

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