Wednesday, January 22, 2020

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -2).  Let me start off by saying that this screening week may be the most confounding screening week I've ever had in compiling The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  Every single team on this list this week has lost at least one Game.  On top of that, most of these teams have won at least once this week as well.  Finally, believe it or not, I can find some upside to each of these squads.  Frankly, I can see some good that happened to each of the teams this week, save the last one.  I could be accused of scraping the bottom of the barrel to (paraphrasing Monty Python's Life of Brian [RIP, Terry Jones]) look on the bright side of life.  This goes to show how shitty this sports winter is going to be, even moreso than past bad winters.

In order to rank these woebegone clubs for this week's WMNSS, I am balancing a lot of things, and I know that I will not be applying my standards evenly across the teams.  It's just too difficult.  Nevertheless, I have decided that the Gopher grapplers gain the #-1 spot this week.  They split their two Duals, beating Michigan St. and losing to Michigan.  I saw that the Gophers were #3 in "the polls," but I see on Intermat that they're now 14th, which makes me think that #3 ranking is bullshit.  However, both of those contests were on the road, so a road loss, while disappointing, is always understandable, while a road victory, especially for this program, is an honorable notch.  And in a scuffling group of nobodies the Twin Cities is saddled with, that is good enough to be at the top of the dung heap this time around.

Home to Ohio St. Sunday night, a Dual that looks like it'll be broadcast live on the Big Ten Network.

#-2: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4).  Squeaked by Penn St., then lost to Rutgers.  Why is this team which split its two Games second?  Well, the win over the Nittany Lions was at home, while the loss to the Scarlet Knights (who reached the Top 25 for the first time since 1979) was on the road.  Therefore, this club experienced two understandable results.  Moreover, Joe Lunardi of ESPN.com now has the U. as Team 69; not too long ago they were part of the Penultimate Four Out.  So while this was a choppy screening week, the trajectory is trending upward.

Oh, and Daniel Oturu is a fucking beast.

This week will be a challenge.  On Thursday they had to Ohio St., which was ranked in the Top 5 earlier this year but has lost, like, four in a row.  Then on Sunday afternoon they host Michigan St., who routed them by 16 in East Lansing on the 9th.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -7).  They outlasted Tampa, then beat the ever-livin' shit out of The Bastard North Stars, 7-0, in the nightcap to Hockey Day Minnesota, which is very gratifying.  But in what may be the most humiliating loss any local team has suffered in the past twelve months, the Mild had a 4-3 lead on Florida Monday, lost the lead with four Minutes left in the Game, and then lost the Game on a Panthers deflected Goal with, like, 5.4 Seconds left.  To go from two Points to zero, like that, at home, is downright emasculating, and that probably puts the kibosh on any playoff hopes these guys have.

I talk about this with the Timberwolves below, but as a mirror image -- what are the Mild trying to accomplish?  Are they in win-now mode?  Are they trying to rebuild?  The contracts the franchise is playing its players gives them no wiggle room, yet the players are obviously not good enough to be even a contender for a playoff spot.  Where is this team going?  Because this limbo is worse than actively tanking, because tanking is at least going to give you a good draft pick.

They host historically shitty Detroit tonight/Wednesday night before 1) All-Star Weekend and then 2) their bye week.

#-4: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -8).  OK, what the fuck is going on with the University of Minnesota women's basketball team?  Destiny Pitts, the Gophers' leading scorer, was suspended for two Games and then, last week, Pitts announced she was transferring.  Her explanation on Instagram was semi-professional, semi-burn-booky.  She wished nothing but the best for Head Coach Lindsay Whalen, but claimed she was benched due to "poor body language" and that she was going to go an environment that supported her.  (For her part, Whalen just wished Pitts the best.)  There was a rumor I heard on KFAN that Pitts gave Whalen the finger.  I have yet to hear substantiation to that rumor.

The second Game Pitts was suspended for was a 76-75 loss to Iowa at home on Thursday, the team's fifth straight defeat.  On Sunday they went to Purdue, and this time, even though they were officially without Pitts, the squad got back both Bello twins, who were suspended alongside Pitts (they are friends) for, as it turns out, having Pitts's back -- on what exactly, I have not seen an explanation.  Somehow, the Gophers pulled away in the Second Half and routed the Boilermakers on their home court, 72-59.

The only saving grace these players have is that, according to Charlie Creme, Minnesota is still in the NCAA Tournament.  They're dropping like an anchor, but right now the U.'s Team 63, aka The Penultimate Team In.  Is the transfer of Pitts addition by subtraction, and has Whalen found a new scheme she thinks works best for her team?  Because I cannot see how either Bello twin does not just follow Pitts out of Dinkytown -- and if that's the case, Whalen has, get this, just six players on the team.  Happy they ended their losing streak, but this locker room can still be a damn mess.

The team hosts Wisconsin tonight/Wednesday night.  They then visit Indiana Monday.

#-5: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1).  It still feel as though this will eventually come down to Minnesota vs. Wisconsin in the championship Game, even though Cornell, of all teams, got a first-place vote in this week's poll.  But you cannot drop Games at home.  And Minnesota did, on Friday, to Ohio St., and how -- 4-1?!?!?!   Sure, they came back to beat the Buckeyes 2-1 the following afternoon on Parade Park in Minneapolis, which served as this program's contribution to Saturday's Hockey Day Minnesota.  But the damage has been done; the formerly top-ranked Gophers fell behind the Badgers, again.  And it just so happens that this squad travels to Madison this weekend for a two-Game series versus said Badgers, the second (and final) series of #1 versus #2 this season.

#-6: Lynx (Re-Entry!).  News came late this (Wednesday) afternoon: Superstar and Lynx legend Maya Moore will sit out a second consecutive year to continue to help exonerate a prisoner she believes was wrongly convicted.

Pardon me for being cynical.  Her sabbatical began last year, shortly after the Lynx and the WNBA classified her as a "core player," meaning they would begin to apply salary rules that Moore did not like.  I'm not saying Moore just found a reason not to negotiate with the Lynx and the league.  I am saying that, if she were traded to, say, her hometown Atlanta Dream, we'd see her suit up this upcoming season.

I'm not crushed at her staying away.  If anything, the ripple effects of her absence were felt last year, when the Lynx were one-and-done.  But the new players on the team seem to be good contributors, and the Lynx will have a decent first-round draft pick coming in, so it's not as if she has left the franchise an empty cupboard or anything.  There are worse situations to be in; see below.

#-7: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6).  A home-and-home sweep at the hands of Indiana, then losses to Toronto and Denver, both at Target Center.  This sorry squad has lost six in a row.  So, why aren't these guys at the bottom?

Well, that's a good question.  They traded away Jeff Teague this week -- to Atlanta, the team in which he made his career.  He was the Point Guard who was supposed to be perfect in Tom Thibodeau's scheme, and so his presence was a bad memory for those fans who was witness to a promising administration going sideways.  Moreover, he was a bad fit with Karl-Anthony Towns, the man this organization has to build around.  KAT plays in the post, yet Teague was a shitty passer to players down in the blocks.  And Towns got increasingly pissed whenever Teague just wouldn't give him the ball.  KAT was injured for the past several Games, but in the first Game after Teague was traded away, guess who suited up -- and scored 28 Points to go along with eight Rebounds?

There's one other dimension to this that I have yet to touch on this season.  General Manager Gersson Rosas was determined to instill a new culture with this franchise, one that got with the analytical times of the NBA.  The mid-range jumper is now a sin; these Woofie Dogs are going to shoot the three like they need air to breathe.  And as of press time, they're attempting 39.3 Three per Game, third-most in the association.  But they're only making 32.4% of those Threes; only Atlanta is worse.

You know what?  I don't think Rosas cares, and I don't think it matters.  Because you are instilling a culture.  Where you just repeat the same thing, over and over, until you get it right ... or Rosas finds someone else who can do it.  To that end, maybe Alan Crabbe, the player the Wolves get back from the Hawks for Teague, can help out; he's known as a maven behind the arc.  Shit, if he's even mediocre, he's going to be the best marksman on the team!  Bottom line: Rosas understands that the Timberwolves have some serious wising up to do, and it's not going to get completed this season.  But these players had better start now.

Another busy four-Game week: A quick jaunt to Chicago tonight for a battle vs. the Bulls, then a three-Game homestand against Houston, Oklahoma City, and Sacramento.

#-8: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -5).  Yeah, these guys were playing in an exhibition, so I can't tell if these guys, you know, actually tried.  But fuckin' Christ, man, they were playing the USA Hockey Under-18 team ... a bunch of fuckin' high-schoolers.  And they lost, 2-1.  Now how am I supposed to think this program is getting their shit together when they can't beat a bunch of kids who can't vote?

Home to Ohio St. for a pair this weekend.

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