The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Gopher football (Last Week: 0).  Urban Meyer noted that these back-to-back Wins by the Gopher footballers may be the most impressive of ... did he say the P. J. Fleck era?  If so, he can't be wrong.  Oh, sure, Michigan has an anemic Offense and, IMHO, that handed the Gophers the victory.  But you have to admit that you would think that previous U. football clubs would lose to the Wolverines.  These guys didn't.  In fact, they came back to defeat Michigan, with the help of 13 Points off a trio of inexplicable Wolverine Turnovers.

I was on the field working the Game Saturday.  Around Halftime it didn't feel as though the Gophers were capable of getting back into it, let alone winning it.  But somehow, they won The Little Brown Jug for the first time since 2014 and won it at home for the first time since 1977.  I could sense that the crowd was ready to storm the field when victory was at hand.  And when it did happen, all I could do is swing around and see the youth of Minnesota jump out of their chairs and bleachers and take to the field.  And all I could think was, "Be young.  Have fun."

And this Saturday they travel to Purdue, who truly sucks.  This probably is going to be an impressive three-Game winning streak the Gophers will have.

#-1: Vikings (Last Week: -1).  I'm sounding like a broken record, but the Vikings' Defense (and Special Teams) is carrying the Offense right now.  That one-sidedness works in beating (barely) a winless Miami Dolphins squad whose Quarterback, Malik Willis, goes 0-for-4 passing on Third Down.  But besides T. J. Hockenson, who had a monster day (13 Catches on 13 Targets for 119 Yards), there is still something painfully wrong on that side of the ball.  And it looks as though that pains Head Coach Kevin O'Connell, who knows his forte needs to start doing their fare share. On the other hand, it's possible the Vikings can beat the Saints in New Orleans Sunday just by kicking Field Goals again, and so they would enter the bye Week a perfect 5-0.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (NEW SEASON!).  Started the season sweeping Bemidji St. at Bemidji.  All well and good, but like I always say, the only Games that matter to this program are the ones vs. Wisconsin and Ohio St., who are now a clear tier (maybe two) better than the U.  How will/could that decrease in stature change now they're under the direction of a Head Coach who insists on putting his nickname in his online bio?  (Seriously, he's listed as "Greg 'Boom' May."  Isn't that ... weird?)

The U. hosts something called The East/West Showcase.  Interesting -- they play Maine at Ridder Friday evening and ... Bemidji St. again Sunday afternoon?!?!  The fuck kind of schedule is this?!?!?!

#-3: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -2).  This XI's only meaningful action came Friday, when they dominated Maryland, 4-0.  But they have a herculean task ahead of them this Week.  They visit second-ranked Michigan tonight/Thursday night, and then they host current #6 Ohio St. Sunday afternoon.  It looks like they're playing well enough to get on the good side of the bubble.  They'll get pushed off that bubble if they lose both Matches, of course, but if they can draw or even win one of these ... well. ...

#-4: Wild (NEW SEASON!).  The drama surrounding this anonymous team that many consider a dark horse candidate to win The Stanley Cup is all due to Quinn Hughes, last Year's big acquisition and arguably a Top Ten player in the NHL, beginning the season without signing an extension.  Hughes has been quite coy as to why that's the case.  Meanwhile, fans are shitting bricks wondering if he wants out and, if so, can General Manager Bill Guerin get even 50 cents on the dollar to flip Hughes.  This will be a pain-in-the-ass as long as Hughes doesn't sign.

And yet the Wild won their first two Games of the season, 3-1 in Nashville and then 4-1 in their home opener versus Boston.  But then they blew a two-Goal lead and lost in Overtime to Buffalo.  OK, so the Mild aren't going 84 (?)-0.  But they so far look good considering the Hughes Sword of Damocles and the long-term injury to Defenseman Brock Faber after taking a puck to the face.

Very busy screening Week ahead -- at both Florida schools, then they host (Las) Vegas Monday night, then they travel up north to face The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers.

#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3).  Swept Northwestern Thursday but lost in four Sets to Wisconsin.  Both Games were at home.  And I can remember not too long ago that the sixth-ranked Badgers would come into the Sports Pavilion and piss down their pants.  Those days are long gone.  They travel to Rutgers and Ohio St. this Week.

#-6: Gopher men's hockey (NEW SEASON!).  One of the most storied programs in top-flight men's college hockey started their season getting swept at ranked Michigan Tech.  They were supposed to play Friday, but the ice was so bad that pushed both Matches back to Saturday and Sunday.  Doesn't matter; this is not a promising start for new Head Coach Brett Larson.  They're off for the next Week or so.

#-Infinity: Twins (Re-Entry!).  I'm tired, so all I can say is that, while ownership this season at least tried by trading for some Bullpen arms, the same anonymous fate befell this Year's squad similar to last Year's -- a below .500 Year.  I can't give the Pohlads any credit for saying they tried.  Try harder!!  Succeed, goddammit!!!