Great, Now The Ant Is Going To Kill Me Because I Can't Kill The Ant

So I finally got around to washing my dishes when I saw a big ant trying to swim and/or not drown in the water in a dirty dish I hadn't yet cleaned.  (Mental note: Wash dishes more often.)  I stared at it as it was thrashing to and fro, deciding what to do.  It's a big ant, and I'm scared that if it doesn't die -- or if I don't kill it -- it'll summon other big ants to God knows where.

I finally decided to show it some mercy by pouring the water out of the dish.  But just as I did it, the ant curled into a ball and just stayed there.  Guess it drowned or its lungs burst from all the water (do ants have lungs?) so I used my sponge to scrape it into the garbage.

I'm trying to finish the rest of the dishes when, just to make sure, I look back into the garbage can.  And goddamn, I see that ant is alive, looking at a way to get out of the garbage.  I need to kill it, but with what?  I decided to get the broom from the pantry and shove it into the garbage can.  (For the record, I had just changed bags.  The only thing I put into it is the wrapping from a Chobani yogurt cup.)  I jam that broom hard, really hard, all over the bag ... but the ant is still alive.  I should have just put my foot through the garbage can, and the ant, but I'm too scared to kill that way.

The next step is bug spray.  I go downstairs, find one Father bought that works on fleas (we don't have fleas, he probably got it on sale), and I spray the entire plastic bag inside the garbage can with that fucking spray.  Guess what?  It's still alive.  I'm dealing with the fucking Terminator ant here.  And now the house has that sickly fragrant smell of bug spray wafting all over.  I had to open the windows and turn on the stove vent just to ventilate the smell.

At this point I don't know what to do.  I decide fuck it, I know there's nothing in it except a Chobani wrapper and the ant, but I'm chucking this into the garbage bin outside.  So I unlock the door, open the lid, and slide out the empty plastic bag into the bin.

I know that infernal fucking thing is still alive.  I threw in a garbage bag full of things that big ant can subsist on, like a banana peel.  He'll get strong from that peel, manage to climb up the side of the bin, get out, find his way back inside, come up to my room, and kill me.  He'll fucking kill me because I was too chickenshit scared to kill it.

Goddammit, what I didn't I just crush that fucking thing with my bare hands when I had the chance?!