Wednesday, May 14, 2025

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Timberwolves (Last Week: -1).  I don't remember the last time a WMNSS has been so competitive.  All but the team on the bottom of this Week's survey went undefeated.  In fact, since Thursday, all the state's pro sports teams (if you include the PWHL's Frost, which I don't because the league's a parasite and the team's a bunch of backstabbers) are 10-0.  I don't think that's ever happened before in survey history.

So, with the top three teams dominating, I didn't have any good reason to change the order from last screening Week.  Therefore, the Timberwolves, who have righted themselves after a Game 1 Loss at home, remain on top and also rise above negative numbers.  The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors managed to win last Wednesday even though Stephen Curry got hurt in the First Half, but they haven't been able to repeat that feat against a deeper, more balanced, and healthier Wolves squad.  I finally went out to Falling Knife Monday to see Game 4 at the craft brewery's parking lot.  All of us fans were cheering and howling as the Second Half adjustments Chris Finch applied energized his club with a decisive 39-17 Third Quarter that took Minnesota from down two at Halftime to up 20.  Chase Center felt like a morgue, and even though Golden State's scrubs managed to cut the margin of defeat to seven (117-110), the arena was half-empty well before the final horn.

Gotta note that Julius Randle has shaken his ill-fitting play in the regular season to star in this series.  When Karl-Anthony Towns was traded away Randle was seen as a guy who can create his own Offense, and thus give the T-Wolves and outlet to score when the rest of the team got bogged down.  He is doing it this series; in Game 3 on Saturday, he became only the second person to notch a Triple Double in the postseason.  (Kevin Garnett is the only other Timberwolf to have pulled it off, and he did it twice.)  Randle is able to make something happen out of broken plays, and that is something that might be needed -- assuming the Wolves finish the series off tonight at home -- against either a Bastard SuperSonics squad that is athletic and can bomb the shit out of you, or a Nuggets club that is hellbent on revenge.  Oh, by the way, I don't think this organization has won a playoff series at home since the "MV3" of KG, Sam Cassell and Latrell Sprewell did it vs. The Bastard Cincinnati Royals/Kansas City-Omaha Kings in 2004.

#0: United FC (Last Week: -2).  It may be the most notable Major League Soccer Match Minnesota United FC has ever played, and it may be the most impressive Win in recent memory.  Hosting Lionel Messi, Jordi Alba, Sergio Busquets and a star-studded though not quite in-form Inter Miami side Saturday afternoon, the Loons delivered the Herons their worst-ever defeat since the GOAT donned the pink and blue, humbling them 4-1.  I was able to see the Match, and it was best of both worlds: I got to see Messi score (off a broken play in a time of the Game where MNUFC just could not clear their box), and I got to see my Loons kick ass!

I can't quite point out what has changed from last season that has gotten this XI into second place in the West, but there has been balanced scoring and a lot of people are getting into the action.  Now, can they keep it going for a busy Week as they play in Houston tonight/Wednesday night and then host St. Louis (for the first of two matchups in St. Paul over five Days) Saturday night?

#-1: Twins (Last Week: -3).  Don't look now, but ever since the local fanbase wrote these guys off, the Twins have stormed back with a vengeance.  They went a perfect 5-0 for the screening Week, finishing off home sweeps of The Bastard St. Louis Browns and The Bastard New York Giants.  They have won eight in a row to finally nose above .500 ... even though they remain mired in fourth place in the AL Central.

All credit for this current amazing run of form to the starting pitching, which has limited their opponents to a total of 17 Runs during this winning streak.  They hope to continue winning as they are in Baltimore for three Games (they were supposed to play last/Tuesday night but were rained out, so they are playing a traditional Doubleheader today/Wednesday where the second Game is being played 30 Minutes after the end of the first), travel to Milwaukee for three over the weekend, then come home to play versus Cleveland for a trio beginning Monday.

#-2: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -4).  Finally, we get to the local sports team that flat-out struggled this past Week.  They came in to the weekend's home series against Maryland with an outside shot of snagging one of the last spots for the B1G tournament.  Alas, they got swept and were thus eliminated.  In fact, they are now next-to-last in the conference.  Oh, well -- this is Ty McDevitt's first Year helming the club.  This is his mulligan.  But results have to come, because this program has been downtrodden for far too long.

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