But her asking if I need help is is a bad thing. Now, the reason it's a bad thing is not about alleviating the stress of my workload, even though it definitely did. No, the reason this is a bad thing is because this makes me look bad. We both take turns being the only person working The Fourth Department. So, then, how is it that I routinely slog through getting the work done while she appears to have gone through it so fast that she is doing some of my work? Is she cutting corners? Is she not communicating with clients, or not documenting the correspondence with them? (E-mails, I have learned, is time-consuming to make and to send.)
Or, is she able to get through the work fast and, more important, I get through the work slow? Don't tell her, but I am secretly jealous, possibly to the point of annoyance, that it looks as though she is able to easily do the job while I struggle. Now, I want to do the work the way I do it, and I will not change unless ordered to (and even then I may not). But doing things my way illustrates a difference in approach to working The Fourth Department that is clearly laid out when it comes to our timesheets, specifically when each of us leave for the day. I have put in ten hours per day in The Fourth Department with some regularity. Not only has my co-worker not done so regularly, she may be getting out at eight hours, which I find fucking impossible to do. And I know my boss has noticed that difference between the two of us.
So if she continues to ask, from her place in The Fourth Department, if I need help in The Third Department, that will remind me how quickly she gets done compared to me. I can't help but think that, and it's a thought I would rather not have, especially when in the middle of doing the work that evidently takes me hours to do when she can do it in, like, seconds. I wonder if I will pay for this contrast with my job.
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