My Thoughts On Who To Root For In The Stanley Cup And NBA Finals

I have no interest in seeing the Stanley Cup Finals.  Out of principle, I don't watch a postseason once my team, in this case the Wild, are eliminated.  It hurts too much.  (This may be paradoxical, but if my team doesn't make a playoffs, I am more than happy to watch the whole thing ... with exceptions, of course.  If my team can't even make the postseason, that means my team didn't even have a chance of winning that Year's title, so I cannot have any bitterness over what could have been.  Does that make sense?)

Beyond that, though, I don't care how intriguing this matchup has become after Games 1 and 2 have both featured stunning comebacks and late Goals.  The Vegas Golden Knights are in their third Stanley Cup Finals and they're only nine years old.  They were given the most generous and bountiful birth of any expansion team in North American sports, immediately seeding their roster with stars and upside role players and parlaying them into a Stanley Cup Finals birth in their first Year.  And they have continued to cash in on the excessively valuable assets they were given, trading those away for a bumper crop of promising youngsters and aging role players, thus giving them a higher ceiling that few other teams in the NHL have, let alone were given.  And that's why I refer to them as Team Privilege, or Team Third Base.

On top of that, their starting, starring Goaltender, Carter Hart, was one of four people accused of gang raping a drugged-out women several years ago.  The Canadian judge let him off the hook, and he hooked up with the Golden Knights, and he's playing very well, thus proving that there is no God.  Oh, and he is a supporter of this separatist movement in the Canadian province of Alberta.  And on top of all that, the owner of the Vegas Golden Knights demands that his franchise is not named the Las Vegas Golden Knights, purportedly because "Las" sounds too close to "loss."  Putz.

Meanwhile, The Carolina Hurricanes have a boss, Tom Dundon, who may be riding high on the success of his hockey team, but is curiously thinning the workforce of the NBA team he owns, The Portland Trail Blazers.  He sounds creepily close to all these tech bros who think their achievement and moxie in their industry means they know everything and must be allowed to do anything, even if it means taking the livelihoods of people who just want to put food on the table.  Sounds like an asshole.  Oh ... also, The Carolina Hurricanes were stolen from the good people of Hartford, and The Hartford Whalers' famous fight song, "Brass Bonanza," has been adopted for North Carolina.  As hoary a form of cultural appropriation you can get without lasting consequences for civilization and society.

So, Team Third Base vs. The Bastard Hartford Whalers?  I choose death.

Meanwhile, my feelings for which team is winning the NBA Finals are so mixed up that I can't accurate describe them.  I know that I should hate The San Antonio Spurs because they beat my Minnesota Timberwolves, and loyalty demands that I wish evil upon those who've wronged me.  On the other side, Karl-Anthony Towns, who was loyal to the T-Wolves until the point the organization stopped being loyal to him and traded him, has a chance to win a championship with the team he was traded to, The New York Knicks.  I think he's a good guy, and I want to see him happy and successful.  And I saw what Jalen Brunson did at the end of Game 1's Win; that dude has big balls, and I really respect that, too.

So why do I catch myself rooting for the Spurs and rooting against the Knicks?  Those are two different questions that demand two different answers.  I don't know him, but it feels as though Victor Wenbanyama is a good dude who's still learning how to play in the NBA.  I like the really tall kid.  And on the other side, when the Knicks made big shot after big shot to pull out a Game 1 upset at San Antonio, I saw Knicks fans in the San Antone crowd cheer, this well of hate rises up within me.  Dammit, man, New York City sports fans are insufferable.

Such a jumble of preferences may drive a man mad.  But I'll try and tease this out.  I'm not specifically hoping that the Spurs will win, but I do hope that Wemby wins.  Meanwhile, I want to see KAT win one championship ... but I don't care about the Knicks franchise or Knicks fans winning a championship.  Hey, I need to compartmentalize if I am supposed to analyze Game 2's broadcast with any sort of objectivity.

With all that said, I plan on going to that Prince celebration concert tonight/Friday night, so I will likely miss Game 2.  Shucks.

OK, So We Have A Date My Parents Will Finally Leave ...

... and it's about a month from now.  Oh, well. ...

Thing is, they wanted to leave next week.  I would've loved it.  It just so happens, however, that was the same day of the memorial service for the family friend who died a week ago.  I asked my boss before I left work yesterday/Friday if I could take that afternoon off; even though it was short notice, he said yes.  And so I assumed that my folks would want to pay their respects, too.  Besides, it was going to be short -- an hour to mill around and say hi, and then an hour for the service, and I guess there will be stuff to eat afterward, but that's when we could just go home.  But Mother was looking for flights on that day because they were going to be as cheap as they would be before prices went up for the holidays.

Honestly, this was a dick move by them -- and not surprising.  They don't want to be here, especially in the cold.  And when Mother got the all-clear from the physician who performed knee surgery on her, I knew it was going to be a matter of time before they were going to skedaddle.  And still I thought they were going to listen to the angels of their better nature and go to the service.

Was I going to push this?  No.  Technically, the flight Mother was looking at was going to fly out around noon.  I could take them in the morning, come back, get dressed and go to the service by myself.  That would have been fine.  I think that if my boss let me go for the afternoon, he'd let me go for the whole day.  Also, I think it's important that someone from the family go to the funeral.  Ideally it should be all of us, but if my parents' friendship with her was fake, whatever.  What mattered to me was that I go to the service to pay my respects to the lady who lived just a couple houses down from us and who was always nice to us.

Now, I guess I could have headed this conflict off if I knew before yesterday/Friday that next week was the service, but I kept forgetting to check the date.  Also, it is a bitter irony that the day they were going to leave just so happened to be the same fuckin' date of the service.  If the service were the day before, it would've been perfect.  Alas, I am trying not to be angry.  This is about saying goodbye, after all, and this neighbor's death has me thinking about how my parents are still around, though not forever.

So, my ever-parsimonious Mother decided she would look for the next date with tickets as cheap as the one next week.  And that date is ... the first week in January!  Because of the funeral service, my parents will be here for another 3 1/2 weeks!  Like I said, I'm trying not to hate God for this.  There are some plusses to them staying.  For example, even though Mother has been cleared to get on a plane, her doctor advised her to continue walking because the threat of blood clots is still there.  However, the doc also said that risk decreases over time, so I want to think that the chances of her getting a blood clot will be notably less in January than next week.  Also ... well, I guess it's alright that I can be with my folks for the holidays, even though that wasn't their initial plan.  (When Mother bought the tickets, she said Father wanted to spend the holidays with me.  That's ... well, bullshit.)

OK, I can't think of too many upsides to them being here for the holidays.  I would like to them to be gone.  With my parents out of the state, I could go out to this bar on Christmas Eve, but that would be too weird now.  And I guess there are 3 1/2 more weeks of us starting a fight over something or other.  Whatevs.  They've been here since April, I think, so what's another month at this point?  Besides, and I hate to say it, I'm scared that another member of my family is going to fall ill this month.  If that's the case, and if they're off wintering, they'll just have to fly back home.  They might as well be here and save themselves the trip.

Oh, by the way, it looks as though Father will accompany me to the service but Mother won't.  That ain't her bag or some shit.

Disappointing Son Didn't Do What He Said He Would Do!

So Mother had surgery Tuesday.  Sister went with her.  They had to stay at a hotel overnight and be seen by a nurse who was also at the hotel tending to Mother and another patient.  Never heard that before. Anyway, that meant that Tuesday night offered up a situation I dread: Being alone with Father.

Dinner was fine because it was quiet.  He brought up stocks.  His portfolio is doing blockbuster.  Me ... I work and am tired all the time, so I'm not doing as well.  He asked me what companies I have.  I don't remember.

What I hoped he wouldn't bring up he brought up after dinner.  Of course he said, "Hey, every night you take a shower, right?"  And while trying to hide my frustration that he would belittle me with this same bullshit again, I go, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure."  "You brush your teeth too, right?" he replied, and I can't fucking believe he asked me if I brush my teeth every night.  I don't, but that's none of his goddamn business.

Just there and then, while I was also yeah-yeah-ing as to whether I brush my teeth, I resolved to leave the house.  Since I worked early I came home early, and that gave me the opportunity to exercise.  I then thought I wouldn't because I didn't want to leave My Fucking Father at home.  He's healthy, and as you can see he's as goddamn insufferable as ever.  But My Fucking Parents have pretty much been attached at the hip.  My Fucking Mother has taken girls' trips in the past, but Tuesday was the first time they've been away from each other longer than a trip to the grocery store.  I hate this fucker, but I would be sick to my stomach if I worked out only to come back and see him dead on the floor in front of his computer.  And yet, after he used the opportunity of being alone together to infantilize and lecture me once again about proper fucking hygiene, I decided that fear didn't fucking matter to me.

"I think I'm going to work out later," I said.

"OK," he said.

---

And then I didn't.  The downside to attempting to work out after I started out my day so early is that I might want to catch up on sleep instead.  That was a possibility; I allowed myself a chance to rest once I got done eating at 5.  And I woke up at around 7:30, way too late to go out and work out.

I was curious about whether My Fucking Father could tell.  So I just moseyed out to the top of the stairs and looked at the front door.  It was all locked.  I told My Fucking Father I was going out later.  He may have forgotten.  Or, he could tell I was asleep and knew I wouldn't be going out after all.  And knowing how his negative, derisive mind works, he knew I wasn't going to do what I said I would do.

I have to admit that pisses me off, and I am as angry at myself as I am at him.  He has seen me fail to come through on things I said I would do all my life.  This is a small thing, and again, maybe he just locked the door out of habit and totally forgot about what I said after dinner.  But this one galls me, and I think it's because I lashed out after he insulted me over stupid habits he shouldn't be concerning himself with.  It was I who wanted to, in a really vague sense, "prove him wrong" (even though exercising has nothing to do with getting back at him for asking if I shower and brush my teeth, I know) and then I absolutely did not do it.

I have known for a long, long time that My Fucking Father had dreams for me when I was born.  That's the problem when you ascribe to your progeny your dreams for them; they don't come through for you because they're not their fucking dreams, they're yours.  So yeah, I have a feeling My Fucking Father was disappointed in me just because I didn't exercise like I said I would.  But I am just as disappointed in him as a father, and probably moreso.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: United FC (Last Week: -1).  I think in the past I have disregarded, if not used Friendlies and Matches beyond Major League Soccer play, against the Loons.  Maybe I've gotten soft, maybe I've lost the plot, but I'm kind of factoring in MNUFC's scoreless Draw vs. Bundesliga 2. side Holstein Kiel and their U. S. Open Cup victory over Chicago at home -- played on back-to-back Days, mind you, a situation I doubt I will ever see again -- and giving them the top spot.

Why?  Well, I'm still mad at the Lynx, which is most of it.  And yeah, maybe I shouldn't have even mentioned the Friendly, because that's just an exhibition and that doesn't count.  (Although I will say, once again, that I want the opposing sides of Friendlies to bring their jerseys for sale.  I think they would make a mint.)  But pair their Quarterfinal Win over the Fire with their 2-1 victory at FC Dallas on Independence Night, and they once again are showing that they're a pretty damn good club.  Anthony Markanich is scoring in bunches, including the Game-winner over FCD.  Kelvin Yeboah got a Brace, both Goals in Extra Time, last/Tuesday night over Chicago.  Carlos Harvey scored the first Goal versus Dallas and assisted in one of the Goals over the Fire.  And trusty Robin Lod tied up the Quarterfinal against Chicago in the Second Half.

They still remain behind San Diego and Vancouver in third place in the West.  But they're only one Point behind the second-place Whitecaps and only two behind first place SDFC (Vancouver was leading the conference for the longest time, but they've now slipped behind San Diego due to a recent run of mediocre form).  This might be shaping out to be a hell of a race.

Their three-Match, six-Day homestand concludes Saturday against San Jose.

#-2: Lynx (Last Week: -Infinity).  Yeah, they still hold the best record in the W at 17-2, and they didn't just run through but ripped through the table this screening Week, defeating Washington, Golden State and Chicago, all at home.  They finished their five-Game homestand ... but of course I was in person for their only Loss of it, that Commissioner's Cup debacle against Indiana.  Yes, that was before the screening Week, but I'm still plenty sour, so that's why the Lynx are in second.  It's also why all three local teams are in negative numbers.

This Week they're on the road, and they'll be busy -- Phoenix this/Wednesday afternoon for the Mercury's annual Camp Game; Los Angeles tomorrow/Thursday afternoon for the Sparks' annual Camp Game; then two at Chicago, Saturday afternoon and Monday night.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -2).  They went 4-2 this Week, so in and of itself, that ain't ... bad, you know?  Guess the Starting Pitching has rebounded from execrable, and the Offense has picked up a bit.  (By the way, congratulations to Byron Buxton on being [so far] the only Twins rep for the All-Star Game.  Buck is going to participate in The Home Run Derby, too.  He's having a great season because he's having an injury-free season [so far], and yet because of his team's recent doldrums, no one gives a damn.  And what if the HR Derby Curse is real and befalls him?  Egads!)  What has become interesting is The American League Central Division.  Not only have the Twins fallen on black days, so have the other three squads chasing Detroit.  As of right now, everyone except the Tigers is above .500, and combine that with Detroit now having The Best Record In The Majors, and the Tigers lead both Minnesota and Kansas City by a whopping 14 Games.  Yeah, if the Twins are going to make it back into the playoffs, it'll have to be through the Wild Card, no doubt.

After finishing their home series vs. the Cubs, tomorrow/Thursday afternoon, they host the similarly-going-nowhere Pittsburgh Pirates for a three-Game set over the weekend to finish out their maximum homestand.  And that will bring them, and the rest of Major League Baseball, to the All-Star Break.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: United FC (Re-Entry!).  The only squad not to lose this Week were the Loons, so they take the top spot for this Week's WMNSS.  Not to say this was the greatest Week this franchise has had.  It started out nearly perfect with a 3-1 home Win over The Houston Dynamo, a kind of performance (of a great team on paper crushing a much-less-great team when it counts) that you don't see a whole late around the Twin Cities; see all the way below.

It was a different story on Saturday in Harrison, N. J.  The New York Red Bulls took the lead in the 11th Minute courtesy of Emil Forsberg, Kelvin Yeboah tied it up in the 32nd, the near-revelatory Anthony Markanich gave MNUFC the go-ahead Goal just before Halftime ... but dammit, United FC once again blew a lead, allowing NYRB's Eric Maxim Choupo-Moting (he played at Bayern Munich last season) to level things in the 90th.  The Red Bulls had a 3-on-1 breakaway brewing when the Lead Official blew the Match over, which got the NYRB Head Coach real pissed, storming the pitch to ask him why.

I still think the Loons are a cut below Vancouver and San Diego out west, but they are comfortably third in the conference as of right now.  But they have the busiest screening Week I think I've ever seen for this XI.  On the 4th of July, they're at FC Dallas for a Major League Soccer Game.  They then come home for back-to-back Matches, something I have never seen before.  Well, the one on Monday is just a Friendly versus Holstein Kiel, which got relegated to Bundesliga 2.  The next night, they host The Chicago Fire in the Quarterfinals of the U. S. Open Cup.  I'm pretty sure the minor leaguers, the ones who play for MNUFC2, will be playing Monday and the regulars Tuesday.

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -2).  A 3-3 screening Week is a veritable hot streak for a Twins club that remains in freefall.  While they split a four-Game set vs. Seattle at home, they lost a series at Detroit, which finished up with Tigers Ace Tarik Skubal carving up Twinks hitting to the tune of 13 Strikeouts and only one Hit.  And then, just last/Tuesday night, the Marlins beat the Twinks in Miami, 2-0.  Joe Ryan, the only Starting Pitcher really worth a damn in the Rotation right now, allowed only one Run over seven Innings, and it still wasn't enough because the Offense is shorting out again.  And nothing is going to be done to improve this team/franchise/organization.

After completing the trio in Miami, they come home for a long homestand.  They start with the Bay Rays over Independence Weekend followed by the Cubs for three starting on Tuesday.

#-Infinity: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  Yeah, I don't care what they did this past Week, and I don't give a shit that they still have the best record in the W.  I spent $68 to go to Target Center last/Tuesday night for the Commissioner's Cup Final.  The Jynx, who won last Year's Final in Brooklyn over New York, was poised to be the first team to ever go back-to-back, and thus earn the half-million dollar team payday, in this tournament's short history.  They were facing Indiana, a team scuffling around .500 and who, by the way, announced that Caitlin Clark would not be playing because of her groin.

This was supposed to be fucking money in the bank.  Otherwise, I wouldn't've gone.  And everything was coming up Millhouse after one Quarter with Minnesota up by eight.  And then, goddamn motherfucker, that team couldn't shoot worth shit.  The Fever finished the Half on an 18-0 run and didn't look back, upsetting -- and remember, they didn't have Great White Hope Caitlin Clark playing at all -- by 15 goddamn Points.  Fifteen!!!  I am livid that I had to witness this fuckin' humiliation with my own eyes.  I had to leave with three Minutes left in the Game because I didn't want these bandwagon fans taking over Target Center and celebrating their team at mid-court with that big joke check they give people who hit the jackpot at a slot machine, glorying over the fact that they beat the Jynx at their house without Caitlin Clark.

And worst of all, I just wasted $68 on that bullshit.  That's money I can't ever get back.  Right now, come to think of it, I am beyond livid.  It will be a long time before I pay good money to see this team again, not after getting fuckin' burned by this atrocity when I knew, I knew!, they were going to win.  I hate myself for trusting a Minnesota team to come through.  Fuckin' A, they never do.  They never do.

Oh, I have to preview their upcoming schedule.  They are in the middle of a five-Game homestand, but all of those Games are being played over eight Days, including tomorrow/Thursday, Saturday and, to take advantage of the holiday I guess, Sunday too.  This abject offensive failure might have knock-on effects because they don't have to figure out what the fuck went wrong.  We could see this team spiral.  If so, you heard it here first.  Goddamn, watching that sucked so goddamn much. ...

I made plans to have a smoothie after work tonight.  But things got so pear-shaped there that, after finishing watching The Amazing Race, and talking to Mother, I threw all the ingredients into the blender -- milk, greek yogurt, cheap knockoff Maraschino cherries, thawed-out frozen fruit and ice -- and started drinking ... and forgot about the banana I planned on putting into the smoothie as well.  I make enough to get about four or five glasses full, and I drank about half of the blender before I realized my oversight.  So I quickly cut up the banana into the other half of the blender, which I plan on drinking Friday.

But I'm still bitter I forgot to put the banana in at the outset.  Damn work -- it's screwing everything up, and yet I can't help but keep working, possibly to the point of jeopardizing keeping my job.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3).  I am faced with a conundrum this Week: How do you acknowledge teams that have reached the playoffs, a notable achievement, against a team that isn't having a good season but has been on fire as of late?  In the end, I am eschewing what usually is my first (and often only) factor in ranking the local teams here in the WMNSS, record for the screening Week, in favor of the overall picture.

That's not to say that I think the Timberwolves are coming in hot.  They did, however, not only make the playoffs but reach the goal that is important to them, namely avoiding the Play-In.  They needed help from, of all teams, San Antonio, who beat The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors this Week that put Golden State a Game behind the Wolves and thus in seventh place in The Western Conference's final standings.  But the T-Wolves had a finishing kick, defeating The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies in Memphis before coming home and beating Brooklyn and The Bastard New Orleans Jazz to finish sixth in the West.  Those are enough accomplishments to give this squad the top spot in this Week's survey.

Now, expectations were higher than sixth (although a huge caveat to that is that only two Games separated the teams that finished between third and eighth place, my goodness me).  They also draw the third-seeded Bastard Minneapolis Lakers and Luka Doncic, who scored at will against Minnesota in last season's Western Conference Finals.  He doesn't have Kyrie Irving, but he does have LeBron James.  Also, the Timberwolves don't have Kyle Anderson, the man who defended Doncic the most in last Year's series.  Maybe that's a good thing, considering The Dallas Mavericks eliminated the Wolves in five Games.  But I'm afraid that's what The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.1.0. is going to do in this series, dammit.

#-2: Wild (Last Week: -2).  Similarly, the Wild also (finally) clinched a playoff spot.  Their finishing kick, however, wasn't that impressive.  They started off the Week holding off San Jose in Overtime at the X (BTW, the X won't be called the X starting next season ... Xcel Energy will let the contract the utility signed at the opening of the arena a quarter-century ago expire without extending it ... the arena will have a new name, and so we will have to call the Wild's place where they play Matches something else, and this is why I hate naming rights for arenae and stadia), 8-7 of all scores.  In what shaped up to be a very crucial late-season showdown, The Bastard Atlanta Flames handled the Mild handily in Calgary, 4-2.  The Flames, however, wind up as the last team out (so to speak), because Minnesota collected OT victories at Vancouver and over Anaheim at home to finally sew up a postseason slot.

It is kind of pathetic how they crawled over this finish line.  The Mild were down to the Ducks last/Tuesday night, 2-1, and Joel Eriksson Ek tied up the score on a scrum in front of the Anaheim net in the final Minute of regulation.  That tied it up at 2, and once the Game hit zeroes, Minnesota got that Point they needed to officially qualify for the playoffs.  Of the four Games they played this screening Week, three of them went to Overtime, but the Wild won all three.  The Game previous to this Week went into OT, and they won that, beating The Bastard North Stars at home.  Stretching back a bit further, six of their past eight Games went to extra time, but the first two Overtime Games, at New Jersey and at     the Rangers, wound up in Losses for Minnesota.

What I'm saying is that this club isn't exactly rounding into form.  Also, they have drawn The (Las) Vegas Golden Knights, a team that has bedeviled Minnesota after the Golden Knight's first regular season because they have been allowed to both amass player assets and violate the spirit of cap rules under the implied blessing of Commissioner Gary Bettman ever since they were born.  Also, the Wild are very mid.  This is playoff hockey, so upsets can and frequently do happen.  But I can't see it happening in this series.

#-3: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -6).  So this is the team I'm alluding to.  Believe it or not, they're the hottest team in town right now, even more so than the Timberwolves.  The Gopher Nine are riding a six-Game winning streak that began last Tuesday, continued with a 12-2 drubbing of St. Thomas at home last Wednesday in a Game mercy-ruled after seven Innings, got extended even further over the weekend with a surprising sweep of Ohio St., by far The Worst Team In The Big Ten This Season, at Columbus (!!!), and is still alive after last/Tuesday night's 9-2 Win over North Dakota St. at Siebert Field.

And that winning streak gets the U. to 17-17 overall and 5-10 in the B1G.  I doubt this streak will last a Week from now: After playing South Dakota St., the team they beat to start this streak, tonight/Wednesday night at home, they travel to Rutgers for three.  But these guys are playing as well as they probably will for the rest of the Year.  Moreover, I usually want to recognize long winning streaks like this by proclaiming that they've "won" the survey for the Week.  But the overall record is so-so and the conference record is still bad.  And this is the Week where the Timberwolves and Wild clinched playoff spots.  So, I had to rank those two teams higher than these young men.  Sorry.

#-4: United FC (Last Week: -1).  Buried in all the playoff-clinching hoopla in this state, and as befitting the plight of professional soccer in the country, is that the Loons are somehow second in The Western Conference right now.  Saturday they "fought" to a scoreless Draw at Toronto.  I was listening to the Match at the library while I was doing my taxes, and frankly, it was a Game that haters of the sport would use as a reason why they think it's boring.  But still, hey, second place.

Host Dallas Saturday night.  I have already given my ticket to my friend because I plan on seeing Kendrick Lamar and SZA kick off their stadium tour.

#-5: Twins (Last Week: -4).  A 3-4 week where they lost series at Kansas City and home to Detroit, and the bitterness baseball fans in town have felt since their team's collapse at the end of last season has, by all accounts, curdled into apathy.  Monday's attendance of 10,240 is the lowest number in the history of Target Field (besides, of course, restrictions because of The COVID-19 pandemic).  And that served the Twinks right, because they lost to The New York Mets, 5-1.  They now sit in fourth place in The American League Central Division, already 4 1/2 Games behind Detroit for the lead.

And yet I am planning on going to this/Wednesday afternoon's baseball Game anyway.  It'll be the first time I've been there in two Years.  My boss asked me to come to work on Saturday, and in exchange I have today off, and it just so happens that there is a baseball Game in the afternoon, and there are worse ways to spend a day this side of the ground than at a baseball Game, especially one on a weekday afternoon.  Now, I just have to find my scoring notebook.  Oh, and since the Twinks doubled up the Mets last/Tuesday night, 6-3, I am under no illusions they will win today; they have won only one series so far in 2025, and that was the second series of the season when they took two-of-three at the White Sox.

#-6: Gopher softball (Last Week: -5).  And now we get to the Goofer softballers, who got swept at home over the weekend by Oregon.  They lost honorably Saturday and Sunday afternoons by matching 5-4 setbacks, but they got blasted out of Cowles Stadium in the opener on Friday, 13-0 that was halted after five Innings for the good of the women and children who witnessed this horror and for the good of the concept of decency.

This team is not good.  They are 3-13 in-conference and 14-26 overall.  They are tied with Maryland for the second-worst record in the Big Ten.  And thankfully for them (and mirroring the good fortune the U. baseball team was graced with last weekend), they face The Worst Team In The Big Ten This Season, Rutgers, for a three-Game series, even though this is on the road.

And Now The Black Cloud Descends On Our Nation

I do feel a palpable dread from the correct-minded people of this nation now.  It has animated my anxiety and a lot of my short temper since November, but now that it's finally "here," I feel my sadness, anger an bitterness runneth over.

The thing I am still trying to reconcile is that, if I recall correctly, I felt things were going to be just as bad eight years ago.  Why is everything worse now?  Well, we correct-minded people really thought that our fellow Americans would remember the facts that he was convicted of multiple felonies, was called a rapist by a judge, acted like a petty asshole who talks like someone who has Alzheimer's and thought, "Yeah, I want more of that good shit," or didn't care enough to vote.  Our fellow Americans seem to be OK with liars and grifters and people who break the law.  And all of us who hated what we went through cannot deal with how we'll have to deal with all that bullshit again.

I see a meme on social media likening the second TFG's administration to watching the second plane hit the other Twin Tower.  That's totally apt.  The first time we were so confused as to what's going on.  Now?  We now know what's about to happen.  And we're terrified.

I hope that I have the courage and the resilience to resist more than I did the last time.  It'll be very, very hard doing so with the knowledge that there are Enemies Among Us who prefer dictatorship over democracy, and want to kiss the ass of a con man.  But soldier on I must.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -5).  You know, this is impressive.  Not only did the fourth-ranked Gophers win both tilts over Michigan, they completely shut them out, too -- 6-0 Friday, 2-0 Saturday.  Did I mention the Wolverines were ranked sixth?  Yes, this was at home.  But you would think two teams this good and evenly matched would be competitive, if not end up in a split.  But a combined 8-0 -- and, by the way, despite the Wolverines thugging it up early in Saturday's Match to make up for the emasculation they suffered through the previous night?  That deserves a place atop the WMNSS and a place above negative numbers.

They're going through the back half of an unheard-of (at least for hockey) eight-Game homestand that will straddle two Years.  They will finish up play for the calendar Year this weekend with two versus Michigan St.

#0: Vikings (Last Week: -1).  These guys did something they hadn't done since early victories over Houston and San Francisco: Winning handily.  Now, like more recent Wins they were still in a dogfight vs. Kirk Cousins and The Atlanta Falcons yesterday/Sunday afternoon.  After scoring to take the lead late in the Third Quarter, the Defense allowed Cousins & Co. to march right back down the field, score a Touchdown via a Run from Bijan Robinson, and convert a Two-Point Conversion to tie up the Game at 21.  But the Vikings marched back down the field against, scored a tuddy, recovered the ensuing muffed Kickoff Return by Ray Ray McCloud, scored another TD, and they were off and running in doubling up Atlanta, 42-21.  Those TDs I described were passes from San Darnold to Jordan Addison.  Addison scored thrice.  Justin Jefferson scored twice (his first Touchdowns in some time).  And Darnold threw a career-high five TDs.  It's the first time a Vikes Quarterback threw that many Touchdowns and for more than 300 Yards in a Game since Daunte Culpepper did in in the 2004 season.  After a shaky middle portion of the season, Darnold has thrown 11 TD Passes without throwing an Interception in his last four Games.  (Meanwhile, Cousins threw two INTs in the Game, giving him eight picks against no Touchdown Passes in his past four Games.)

I have no idea if they're going to catch Detroit, but while the Lions host Buffalo Sunday, the Vikings get Chicago at U. S. Bank Stadium.  The Bears gained four Yards total in the First Half of their dreadful defeat in San Francisco yesterday/Sunday.  So either the Bears are going to be fired up, or the entire club has checked out.

#-1: Wild (Last Week: 0).  After outlasting Vancouver in Overtime at the X on Tuesday and crushing the Ducks in Anaheim Friday, they simply ran out of gas and got dominated in Los Angeles over a rapidly-improving Kings squad Saturday, 4-1.  No matter; the Wild are tied with Winnipeg and Washington for most Points in the NHL.  Seemingly nothing is slowing down the Wild, who are putatively 18-9 and enjoying a career season from Kirill Kaprizov and a bounce-back Year from Filip Gustavsson.

Busy Week this screening Week: They travel to Salt Lake City to face, for the first time, The Bastard Winnipeg Jets/Arizona Coyotes tomorrow/Tuesday night.  That completes their three-Game roadtrip; they they come back to St. Paul to start a five-Game homestand with Matches against Edmonton Thursday, Philadelphia Saturday afternoon, and (Las) Vegas Sunday evening.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Re-Entry!).  Swept St. Thomas, both contests at Mendota Heights (which is the Tommies' home rink), over the weekend, 5-0 and 6-2.  Would've felt better if they had shut them completely out.  Welp, the good news (and maybe this is just for me) is that they're done for 2024.  They actually play Bemidji St. New Year's Night in, of all places, Lakeville.  Does this have anything to do with the U. S. Hockey Hall Of Fame?

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6).  Well, they had a 3-1 screening Week, capped off by a frustrating eight-Point Loss in the second of a two-Game series at Golden State.  And yet they're still treading water at 12-11, clinging to a Play-In spot in the West.  They're still not jelling.

I just noticed that they're about to finish up playing seven consecutive Games against teams based in California.  That seventh and final Game is against The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers, whom they face after a five-Day layoff after that Loss to The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors last/Sunday night.  Oh, by the way, I got a ticket to see this Game.  When I blog posted about making the tough decision not to see LeBron James and his club last Monday, I thought that was the last Game they would be playing at Target Center.  I didn't look ahead and see that The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.1.0. would be back in the Twin Cities no only this season, but 11 Days since they were last here.  Not only will I get to see him (hopefully), I'll get to see him for free!  Oh, and in this easygoing Week, they visit San Antonio on Sunday.

#-4: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -2).  I thought this team was going to use their WNIT Championship appearance last season as a springboard to make it into the tournament that actually counts this season.  And they started off 10-0 with some Wins over schools you might have heard of in football (Oregon St., SMU, Houston), even though they began the screening Week more than doubling up North Florida at Williams Arena on Tuesday, 90-44.

But shit, man, they got a huge wake-up call once they started conference play against fellow BcS schools.  They went to Nebraska yesterday/Sunday afternoon and got pummeled by the Cornhuskers, 84-65.  Depending on the poll they've either made it to the back end or are on the cusp, but geez, losing by 19??  This single Loss makes me worry about the direction of the program.  I mean it.  But hey, at least they go back to non-con play and get to host Jackson St. Wednesday.  Also, they're still in better shape than ...

#-5: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -7). ... the Gopher men, who have suffered defeats to Wake Forest, Wichita St. and, egads, North Texas, and began B1G play Wednesday getting destroyed by a non-descript Michigan St. squad by 18 Points.  The season's just started, but damn, I would like to see some improvement, and soon, or else this could get real ugly.  And it could get ugly as soon as tonight/Monday night, when they have to travel to Indiana.

#-Infinity: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3).  You know, it wasn't too long ago that this program reaching the Sweet Sixteen was automatic.  You could say they were even entitled to make it to the second weekend of the NCAA Tournament.  Not anymore.  The rise of the Atlantic Coast Conference as a fucking power in women's volleyball is a factor you can't discount (Pittsburgh and Louisville are 1-Seeds this Year, and I can never association them with women's volleyball).  But Keegan Cook hasn't kept this team in the upper echelon of the sport the way Mike Hebert or even Hugh McCutcheon has.

Sure, they beat Western Kentucky Thursday in the First Round, but the Hilltoppers were unseeded and the Goofers were the 6-Seed, so it was an expected result.  Also, they dropped a Set, which should have been seen as an omen, because they in turn were eliminated in four Sets in the Second Round Friday by pod host and 3-Seed Kentucky (which, by the way, is not a traditional power but has won an NCAA championship in women's volleyball, something Minnesota still has not done).  And I think we all just collectively shrugged, like it's no big deal.  But it should be a big fucking deal.  I don't think Minnesota v-ball fans had been honest about how they were a cut below the Nebraskas and Texases of the world, but now they're a cut below that.  I don't know where they hell they're going now, and it's both infuriating and pretty sad.

"We Praise You For Your Sacrifice," My Ass

As I keep both thinking and emotionally processing the "decision" by Biden to quit, I think I can better articulate why I am not happy about this move at all.  But the overarching visceral reaction I still can't stand is all these people saying, "We thank President Biden for stepping aside for the good of the country.  What a sacrifice!"  Stop kissing his ass.  He wanted to be President again.  And he was the much better option.  And, I still think he would've won.  I understand that the polls Democrats trust show that he was losing ground in swing states, but I still cannot believe that America would side with a stupid, cruel fascist just because the other guy looks old.  (And here is where I have to say that even though I think The Media has been complicit in bringing down Biden, their reports of a coup from Democratic leaders were, indeed, true.)

It looks as though this change -- and by the way, even though all the delegates who voted for Biden are now backing Kamala Harris, this doesn't feel "democratic," even though I will never side with Republicans who stole the 2016 election by asking Russia to interfere with it when they accuse Democrats of doing the same thing -- has triggered an avalanche of enthusiasm, as well as money.  Well, I hope that pays off in votes in November, because all that is right now just enthusiasm and money.  I didn't see this energy when Biden was running, even though the economy is great, policies have been enacted that help the little guy, and Trump is still an unintelligible, intolerant little bitch.

And that's what galls me.  I think a lot of the electorate are ungrateful.  And they are shallow, too.  The donor class may have been blindsided by this almost-instant shift from Biden to Harris, but it looks as though one bad debate was enough for Biden to lose any trust that he could beat Trump a second time.  People, we are trying to fight Project 2025 and the end of democracy.  Does it really fucking matter who our candidate is?  And if so, why couldn't it be the one who helped save America from Trump and the Republicans four years ago?  Instead, what people are now really saying is, "Thank you for your time, Joe, and for all that you've done.  Now, get the fuck out."

A lot of people are not appreciative of what Joe Biden has done for this country.  And I am still not entirely convinced that changing nominees this late in the process will help Democrats win control of the White House, let alone Congress.  I'm hoping, don't get me wrong.  But there is no guarantee that switching things up is going to make a dent in these polls Democratic operatives relied on to tell President Biden to leave.  And yes, I am still quite bitter about this ouster ... so I don't know how or even if I am going to vote.

I Didn't Get The Job. FUCK

So I e-mailed -- a second time -- those people who are hiring for the game, and one of them finally got back to me yesterday/Monday afternoon ... "Sorry, we already filled the position with someone else."  My worst fears are now realized.

One-and-a-half days.  It took me 1 1/2 days to get back to them.  They couldn't wait?  Really?  Or, is this a case where they didn't see my response of acceptance when I got back to them the next night -- nor my follow-up e-mail the following Monday (so a week ago) asking if they got my previous e-mail from before that weekend.  That's what I suspect.  Or, they did ask another person in the 1 1/2 days I didn't see that they e-mailed me, and that's when some other dude swooped in and took the job.  I need to unsubscribe to all those fucking campaign donation lists, goddammit.

Whatever, man ... I'm pissed.  And hurt.  And dejected.  I don't care that I'm being dramatic when I say I was really banking on the money I was going to make that week -- for working the game and for using paid time off from my day job.  The bills are still piling up, and I could really use some double-dipping.  But no, that's not happening.  And I feel a real, bitter need to tighten my belt as a result.

And yet I cannot project that bitterness on my reply e-mail to them.  So I think I split the difference: I told them I got back to them the day after while stating it was my fault I didn't get back to them sooner (classic passive-aggressiveness), but accepted their offer to circle back to me in case they do need people after all (keeping my options open), plus I also accepted their offer to help out in case their caravan comes back later in the season (acknowledging that I have read what they wrote).  It's the best I can do for missing out on money I need.  Jesus fucking Christ, I wanted that job.

The iPhone's New Fat Time Numbers

OK, so it's been a while since I updated my iPhone.  But because I wanted to upload a photo, I connected my phone with my laptop and then opened up iTunes, something I haven't done in a long while.  I was prompted to search for an update, I did, there was an update, and I updated it.  Honestly, I'm still confused if this would have happened if I checked for updates just on my phone.  Is it the same?

I ask because the update has brought about something new that I didn't think would ever happen, and frankly it's rocking my world.  Yeah, I know that after updates there aren't just updated security patches and whatnot; there are new formal characteristics that you see.  And yet this time around, a new formal characteristic pops up as soon as I see my screen: The numbers on the time are fat.  Like, real fat.  They used to be skinny, and after every update, those numbers were still skinny.  But now they're fat.  Don't know why they're fat, although there is no law saying they can't be.  But they're fat.  And I'm like, Holy shit.

And still, every time I see the pop-up screen on my iPhone, I'm thinking, Holy shit, those are some fat damn numbers.  It's like ... well ... OK, so LeBron James had "The Decision" on TV, and after he announced that he was leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers for the Miami Heat, the owner of the Cavs, Daniel Gilbert, put out a bitter press release that was just him getting all pissed off about James, but the words in that release were in the very unserious Comic Sans font, and you shouldn't use such a font when blasting a legendary player for leaving your team because people will only notice you are using a goofy font.  Now that I think about it, maybe the numbers are now in Comic Sans.  But the numbers definitely look silly when compared to the vermicelli-thin digits of before.

Have you all updated your iPhone and are getting these fat numbers?  What do you think?  It's weird, isn't it?

Wet January

There is a phenomenon called Dry January, in which people who want to make New Year's Resolutions without making any, you know, real New Year's Resolutions compromise by abstaining from alcohol for the first month of the year.  It has become such an (and I hope using this word doesn't have any pejorative connotation, either now or in the near future) endemic that popular New York City bars have gone on to Instagram to post photos of their largely empty places, enticing those who are not "observing" Dry January with dreams of finally being able to get into the spot they always wanted to get into but couldn't because it's so crowded.

I'm not observing Dry January.  It actually has been very, very wet to me.  That's because, as soon as my parents left, I bought all these barware tools (shaker, jigger, juicers for lemons, limes and oranges) and all this liquor and am trying to teach myself some basic cocktails.

I'm learning things, though they probably are mundane compared to other people.  I realized I think club soda has a bitter taste, and tonic water, because of the quinine, actually tastes pretty good.  I realized that the simply syrup I made by heating up sugar in water makes any cocktail better.  But mostly I realized that, like drinking one cocktail I make for myself makes me plenty tipsy, and two -- like tonight -- even more so.  I have drank a steady clip for the past two months, and after almost every drink I invariably have a headache and a fatigue so bad that I think I'll end this blog post now and go to bed.

I've Been Running On Red Lately

Alright ... so this incident at my nighttime WFH test scoring job is still bothering me.  But I have to admit I've been a little pissy all week.  Can't put my finger on why exactly, but it's possible my attitude has colored how people perceive me, and how I perceive certain situations -- like that fucking snafu that happened last night.

Actually, I might be able to hone in on something.  It may not be the crux of my problems, but it's a problem.  I have gotten obsessed with leaving work -- in particular, I am now trying to avoid leaving when everybody else leaves.  That is around 3:30, when apparently the majority of people on my campus clock out.  In the past I have left when everybody else has left.  That creates a bottleneck of cars on the way out, as you could probably imagine.  But there's also this: Our buildings have only one way in and out.  So, when everybody's leaving at the same time, you can see sometimes half a dozen cars, maybe more, lining up where the end of the property line and the intersection meet.  And if there are enough cars, and if some of them don't get a move on, or if traffic coming from the other way stops them, we would move up and have to wait through yet another red light.  That's a goddamn hell when I don't have to hurry home.  When I have only so much time to eat and sleep before I start my second job, waiting for two and even three lights is unbearable and unacceptable.

So, what's my solution?  In the past, I have chosen to stay a bit later and let the wave of cars itching to leave pass by me so I don't have to go through the stress of waiting with other people.  But I can't do that while I have a night job, plus there are some weeks, such as this week, where I cannot get overtime, and therefore I have to make sure I top out at 40 hours or I will get in trouble.  So if I can't stay late and I don't want to leave when everyone else is, my current solution is to stay late on Monday, when there are fewer people at work so leaving just past 3:30 isn't that big a deal, and then make that up by leaving early the rest of the week.  I can beat the traffic leaving work -- right?

That's not happening this week.  For the past couple days I have been in the lab.  And the unwinding to get out of the lab -- it consists of putting things away, putting other things in other places, having someone open the door for me, then tossing the lab coat into a hamper -- is as long as a Japanese kabuki ritual.  It also does not make me look good when I leave earlier than other people in my group; not only are people thinking I'm skipping out from work, but the people in the lab really, really dislike getting out of their desks just so they can enter a code for one stranger to leave the lab because inevitably another stranger will ask to leave a minute later.  It takes time to find someone, then some more time to herd the other people in my group to amass at the door, before we can leave.

I thought I had built in enough time for all those contingencies, but for the past two workdays I have not been able to leave as early as I wanted.  Therefore, I am keyed up and I have been ... let's just say impatient with other people as I am trying to get out the door.  And by the time I start my car, I am in the thick of other people leaving simultaneously.  That gins up more feelings of bitterness and aggression in me, so I respond by gunning my car through the green light as soon as the coast is clear, even if my co-workers think they have the right-of-way.

That's what I've been doing this week because that is how I have been feeling this week.  Yes, this makes me look like a dick.  But since I've got shit to do, I want to get home as early as possible.  And yet what I have tried to do in order to get home as early as possible has not been enough, and it's upsetting me.  And unfortunately, this won't change unless I get OT or until my test scoring project is over.  I guess I could leave the lab even earlier, or not care about being stuck in the traffic on the way out of campus.  But that ain't me.  That might make it more difficult to deal with me.  But hey, I gotta be me.

Best Laid Plans Ruined, Part II

OK, so I had recently blog posted about one of Mother's pastries that may have gone rotten, and I talked about how her making too much food might have been a factor.  Well, possibly another knock-on effect of being assailed with food I need to eat -- or, to be honest, it's because I just flat-out forgot, and Mother making food has nothing to do with it -- is that I forget some of the food I intend to eat.

I've spoken about how someone at work is just dropping off free food in our break room, and I've taken some from time to time.  One of the items has been applesauce.  I like applesauce.  It's a mushy, neutral treat.  You don't have to chew it, it's not crunchy, and you will not chip a tooth biting into it.  Also a (I think) huge plus is that it has a very, very mild flavor to it.  It's not bland at all, but it has just enough natural taste to make it appealing.  The cups of applesauce I have taken home add to it; there's been a strawberry-flavored one and a birthday cake-flavored one, I think.

Anyway, they need to be refrigerated.  And that creates an out-of-sight, out-of-mind issue.  I put them in the fridge, I have to eat the dinner my parents made, and then later I'm told to eat something Mother made.  All the while the applesauce has been in there, gathering dust (well, if dust can accumulate inside a refrigerator).  But Mother did bag up the cups together, just so the food I bring home is altogether.

Now, remembering that I have food in there is another challenge entirely.  And so when I remembered that I have cups of applesauce in there that I brought home weeks and more like months ago, I feel this intense pang of guilt and I follow that up with planning to finally eat them.  That pang occurred to me earlier this week; I wanted to eat my applesauce last night, while I was doing my night job.

Did I get to eat that?  Nope.

I frantically searched all over the fridge for it, but I didn't see a plastic bag.  Which means that one of my parental units decided I wasn't going to eat that applesauce anyway and choose to throw it away.  Can't cry over spilled milk, especially at this point, when it has been weeks if not months since I brought it home.  Not easy to complain about food even I forgot I had.  But it would be like them to determine that the food they buy and make is the only food I should eat, and that any food I would eat can just be tossed.  I don't want to be pissed and hurt and bitter about this, but ... heh ... it's difficult.

Mother, Are You Sure Your Food Ain't Moldy?

Look, I doubt Mother's ability as a mom.  But as a cook, she is without equal.  I mean that.

With that being said ... I have complained bitterly that she makes me eat too much food.  I keep getting fat when my parents are at home.  That's one of the reasons (OK, maybe it's not the main reason) I kinda, you know, want them to leave: So I don't feel pressured to eat a whole lot.  (Caveat: I eat a lot worse without them around.  Lots of fast food.  And, I have to admit, I eat a lot without my folks at home too.  OK, so maybe it's me.)

That has been compounded this past year, The Year Of The Pandemic, when she could not travel anywhere and had nothing to do except bake.  She has baked stuff before, but with the advent of lockdown (and she is pretty much a homebody anyway), she dove into learning how to make cakes and pastries.  And inevitably, I am the one to eat it all.  It's good; there have been some misfires but some end products that have been sublime.  But there's a hell of a lot.

Father does this thing where, for lunch, he packs for me both a banana and one of Mother's creations.  I've never needed to-go lunch for work.  Told him a million times, ever since I began my working career as a temp; he doesn't listen; I relent because he's old, I don't want to fight and I don't want to be thrown out of the house.  Anyway, I just threw into a big what he is making me bring for lunch today, and the pastry Mother made (I think it's coffee-flavored?) is cold to the touch and wet.  It makes me think he took it out of the freezer and has set it out just before midnight so it would thaw.  So Mother has made so much food that now we're just freezing everything she makes?

If so, that might explain what happened yesterday.  What Father gave me yesterday was this bun.  It's a thick but fluffy bread with, according to Mother when she made it, custard inside it.  It's real good.  But yesterday, as I was devouring it, I look at the bun after I ate about halfway through it, including the custard core, and I see this ring around the custard.  Now, the bun itself is a light/faint purple, maybe even lavender.  And the custard is, of course, yellow.  This ring was green.  Like mold green.

Was it mold?  I'm not sure.  It didn't smell rotten.  But it is bread, and it is moist -- perfect breeding conditions for mold.  And it's been some time since I saw Mother making this kind of pastry; if that bun was from a few weeks ago -- or longer -- and stashed in a freezer, you bet your bottom dollar mold could spore.

Now, I didn't throw up or have diarrhea or anything.  But after half-eating the bun for break, my heart started to race and I started to feel ... off.  That could have been my hypochondria, but one thing convinced me not to take it home and finish eating it: I have had buns exactly like this before, and I have never seen a green ring around the custard core.  It may not have been mold, but I was not sure what that was, and it's better to be safe than sorry.  So on the way home I stopped at the gas station and threw it (along with the mask I got from work) in the trash.  Sorry; I don't want to waste food, but my body was telling me that food wasn't good for me.

Will I encounter the same problem for break today with that wet, clammy pastry I just touched?  And if so, wouldn't this be a sign that Mother should, you know, lay off the baking, and maybe, like, knit more instead?

Another Deceptively Bad Day At Work, Part 3 (AKA I Get To Watch Home Vikings Games This Season ... From Home!)

Unless I recollect something else that happened to work, I'll close with the worst thing that happened at work on Friday, which has nothing to do with work, just that it happened while I was at work.

So I blog posted before about not working as many Vikings Games this season as before because of the coronavirus, even though there was an outside chance I could have worked them all but I didn't because I was too late in replying to the crewer's e-mail.  I was upset that I would not be able to work all of them, but I got over it by forgetting that I felt that way.

In the afternoon (and this was after my boss' boss surprised me by coming into our department while I was not working) work actually did taper off, and so I took the time to go through my personal e-mail -- you know, just in case something cropped up.  I am still getting inundated with political fundraising appeals which I had time at work to clean out.  And there was another e-mail that had to do with this ongoing issue I and others have with the college and the alumni association that I replied to.  But there was an important e-mail dropped into my inbox -- someone from the network e-mailed me about Vikings Games ... specifically this Sunday's Game against Green Bay.  "Something came up in the last minute and I need someone to run for the Game.  Can you do it?  Reply to me ASAP!!!"  It was dated 12:54.

I had to have seen it at 1 o'clock because I replied, "Yes, I can!" and sent it with a timestamp of 1:01.  Serendipity brought me face-to-face with that e-mail so soon after she sent it.  And I learned my lesson back in the summer (even though there was no lesson to learn), so I pounced on that chance.

And she replied that same minute, 1:01, with, "Oops, just filled it!  I'll keep you in the loop for Games later in the season if I need you!"  To which I replied back with, "OK."  Like a cuck.

By the way, I instinctively checked my phone to see if she also texted her request for someone to work the Game, like she did before.  She did text -- at 12:53, a minute before she e-mailed me.  So I guess it took me eight minutes to reply to her.  And apparently when she reached out to me, she reached out to everybody because she was desperate.  And although I tried replying to her ASAP (after I e-mailed her back I texted her back, and in turn she got back to me via both e-mail and text), the wide net she cast reeled in someone damn quick, quicker than yours truly.  And I was stewing in my own fucking juices the rest of the damn day.

Please, don't give me the "early bird gets the worm" bullshit.  First of all, it took me only seven or eight minutes this time around to reply to a last-minute request to fill a job.  More importantly, I don't see this rejection as a failure (or worse, a, ick, "life lesson") to jump on an opportunity to work.  Her spewing this cry for help to everyone, then making a game of it by only rewarding the quickest to reply to her, is instead something more like tossing a piece of cheese onto the floor and getting off on seeing all the rats chase that piece and push each other around just so they can get a nibble of it.

Or, try on this analogy from my life.  Back when I returned from college, when I was just starting to realize I now needed to work to make a living, I decided I didn't know what I wanted to do but I wanted to keep my options open, so I began working as a temp.  Well, I didn't have a cellphone when I started to strike out in The Real World, so I would call in from time to time to ask if they have a lead on a job.  And then I would go out, leaving Grandmother to take any messages any temp agencies might leave for me.  When she told me that someone from this number called, I would call back -- sometimes at home but sometimes I would, get this, find a payphone when I would be out and about.

Around this time I spent a lot of time at the University of Minnesota.  Around the turn of the century there was a computer lab open to students in one of the halls, and I figured out that my student ID from when I took classes at the U. over the summers I was at college still got me in.  That lab was in the basement, and there was a payphone on that same ground floor.  So whenever I didn't feel the urgent need to call back the agency to jump at a job, I would go on Netscape, be on the Internet for a couple hours, and once I was done I would go up to the payphone, put in 50 cents and talk to the temp agency.  And more often than not, when I ask about the job for which they left a massage, they would say, "Whoops, sorry -- already filled it."  And I would be like, "Shoot!" and then I'd be like, "Whatever."  Because I was young and didn't have a care in the world.

That was me in my early twenties.  I am in my mid-forties now.  Although age should not be the sole factor when it comes to deserving things, I am too old to dance like a monkey whenever someone has a need and doesn't offer it to me exclusively.  I no longer want to participate in any type of Death Race where I have to worry whether I'm first to reply to a job.  What I would prefer is if she would know about my seniority with the network and say to me, via e-mail or text or both, "Hey, someone dropped out of Sunday's Game.  We need someone to fill in.  I know you've worked with us for a long time.  Can you do it?  Please let me know as soon as you can; otherwise, I'll have to start asking other people from your area."  That, honestly, would make me feel good.  And it would make me feel appreciated that my tenure spent with this network is understood and not devalued.  She may not know this, and she may not need to know it.  But I have to be selfish here: I felt a bit disrespected by the way all this went down, which happened almost a month after I got burned over the same game of telephone tag.  And, of course, I got bitter that I missed my chance, again, to work Vikings Games like I usually do.  That's what made my bad day bad.

It has been a long time since I haven't been hired on to do all available Vikes homes Games for the two networks that do the bulk of their telecasts.  I grew quickly to resent any date that I for some reason did not work.  I haven't had to feel that way for at least half a decade.  But the pandemic, shifting position needs and the ability or inability to respond to requests instantly has me sidelined for the opening Game of the season -- a season which, I still insist, won't go on as planned, which I think would save me a lot of agita that I'm feeling right now.

But today's Game will be played.  And I will not be at the stadium.  I actually don't think I'll be seeing much of the Game.  I promised my parents I would mow the lawn at one of their properties.  After that, I plan on eating some State Fair food on the far side of town that I've been meaning to eat all summer.  Then, I think I'll try a Target or two to find some disinfecting wipes.  Then I'll come home and probably catch the tail end of what I predict will be a Vikes loss.  Probably for the best.  'Cause I still have my feelings of resentment and bitterness.  So the less time I watch the Game on TV, the less time I'll be reminded that I should be there, and not on the other side of the television.

And Now The Fucking Door Is Broken

Now that I think about it, there was a problem.  While walking through the front door a couple times this winter, my coat would catch on something on the threshold.  Didn't think anything of it; I just tugged on my jacket and went inside.

Fast forward to just now.  It's recycling day tomorrow, and I'm putting as much stuff as I can into the bin.  I finish and go back inside (no snagging).  I turn around to close the door ... and it doesn't feel as though it's closing all the way.  I open it up to close it again; not only does it still not close tightly, but I hear this shrieking sound.  So I open it again and see that the ... fuck, I don't know what the name of the part is, but the door frame, uh, thingy is curled over.  That's what's making the sound, and that's why it's not closing properly.

So now I'm rummaging around the house looking for a clamp.  I see a bunch of goddamn screwdrivers, but it takes me 15 minutes to find a clamp.  I try to straighten that part out, only to have it curl up again after I close the front door.  So I get these small pliers and cut out the curled-up part, but it still curls up.  Finally, I am using fucking masking tape to keep that part down and from curling up when I close the door.  So far, so good, but it's only masking tape.  My Father has screwdrivers up the ying-yang but only has one clamp and no duct tape.

If I were a real handyman, I would be able to fix that part.  But ... well, I am not a handyman.  But also, I have no fucking clue what that goddamn part is.  I have looked on the Internet and I still don't know what it is.  My God, it's the freakin' Internet -- you can get the answer to everything on the Internet, but I can't find the name of this broken part!  God, I hope the tape is fucking enough.

Oh, this ruins everything, by the way.  I wanted to go to be early, but I took a total of 45 minutes trying to fix this thing.  And now I'm so bitter and hyped up with worry and evil urges that I'm looking at porn in order to masturbate in order to calm down.  Fuck my life.

That Bitter Dream Again

I should talk about this more, but I'm tired and have to work in the morning, so I won't.

For some reason -- the weather?  The need to walk everywhere to watch both the Golden Gopher volleyball and men's basketball teams?  My lack of sleep? -- I kept re-thinking all day yesterday (Friday) of a dream (and I really do mean that, even after I describe it to you) I've had for a long time.  Namely, that I was adopted.  Specifically, my parents flying out to Los Angeles (where they left me at a church or something) to find me.  I would be all bitter, and yet they would insist that I fly to Minnesota to see the entire family and to reconnect.  And knowing that all they want to do is parade me around and make themselves feel good about finding me, I lash out, verbally and then, on my last day there, physically.  I never find a family, you see, and I end up being molested throughout my childhood.  And so I blame my folks for ruining my life from Day One, and all I do the entire weekend I'm up in Minnesota is yell at them, throw things at them, and, finally, beat them up.

I should explain more later.  Let's just say that I've felt like an outcast from my family for a long, long time.  What prompted me to ruminate on it?  No clue.

This Last Day Feels Different

Thought about this going to bed last night.

This is the time of year of The Last Day Of School.  I don't know when it usually is where you live, but for most of my life here, it ends around early June.  I remember The Last Day Of School as the most joyous day of the year for me.  There was no homework, no need to get up in the morning, no obligations after that day.  So every time I heard that bell for the last time on The Last Day Of School, I tore out of class like I was escaping prison.  Because I was.  I was free -- free to do what I want (or not), whenever I wanted -- well, until the fall, of course.  Summer still means something special to me.  I complain about how hot it is, but back then, it was my time to complain, or to enjoy at my leisure, free from the behest of anyone.

But, of course, that was my childhood.  Today is The Last Day Of Work for me.  And it breaks an impressive string for me.  Before this job was the one the floor above.  Before that I worked for Wells Fargo for a couple weeks, then before that was testing season and I latched onto job after job there.  then before that I was back at the health insurance company.

If I get the chronology right, and excepting that have been a couple weeks' furlough here and there, I have been continuously working since, oh, the late summer of 2016.  I have had enough work that I have not needed to go on unemployment since then, at least.  As I've said before, this is something I am proud of.  In fact, I consider it to be progress.

But unless lightning strikes, that ends after today.  Right now, I have no jobs lined up.  Health insurance company doesn't want me anymore.  Testing season is over; I have asked if there is work over the summer, and they have not gotten back to me.  And I should blog post about this soon, but nothing I've applied for over the Internet has gotten back to me either.

So, um, I'm out on my own.  And I am stuck as fuck.  I can't go back on the dole because then my parents will find out I am unemployed, and the shit I will take for that will break me.  All signs point to me going back to school, but ... ugh.  I may have no choice, but how ironic is it that the main joy of my childhood was not going to school in the summer, and now, as an adult, going to school in the summer may serve as my salvation?

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I am not motivated to go to work, to be honest.  There are two tasks I could do, and then, well, I don't know what else there is to do.  I swear there is enough work for me to stick around, but they say there isn't.  They treat me real well there, this department, and I know they like me.  But I've got to admit I feel really bitter about this.  I want to find a place where I can stick.  I want to find a place that needs me, and wants me.  For three seasons I have been hoping that it's been this place, but, well, it's not.  And frankly, after I walk out that door at the end of work today, I don't know if they'll invite me back.

I am lost and scared, y'all.  I really, really am.  Being let loose for the summer -- this summer -- goddamn frightens me.  How fucking ironic is that?