Thursday, February 28, 2019

And Now The Fucking Door Is Broken

Now that I think about it, there was a problem.  While walking through the front door a couple times this winter, my coat would catch on something on the threshold.  Didn't think anything of it; I just tugged on my jacket and went inside.

Fast forward to just now.  It's recycling day tomorrow, and I'm putting as much stuff as I can into the bin.  I finish and go back inside (no snagging).  I turn around to close the door ... and it doesn't feel as though it's closing all the way.  I open it up to close it again; not only does it still not close tightly, but I hear this shrieking sound.  So I open it again and see that the ... fuck, I don't know what the name of the part is, but the door frame, uh, thingy is curled over.  That's what's making the sound, and that's why it's not closing properly.

So now I'm rummaging around the house looking for a clamp.  I see a bunch of goddamn screwdrivers, but it takes me 15 minutes to find a clamp.  I try to straighten that part out, only to have it curl up again after I close the front door.  So I get these small pliers and cut out the curled-up part, but it still curls up.  Finally, I am using fucking masking tape to keep that part down and from curling up when I close the door.  So far, so good, but it's only masking tape.  My Father has screwdrivers up the ying-yang but only has one clamp and no duct tape.

If I were a real handyman, I would be able to fix that part.  But ... well, I am not a handyman.  But also, I have no fucking clue what that goddamn part is.  I have looked on the Internet and I still don't know what it is.  My God, it's the freakin' Internet -- you can get the answer to everything on the Internet, but I can't find the name of this broken part!  God, I hope the tape is fucking enough.

Oh, this ruins everything, by the way.  I wanted to go to be early, but I took a total of 45 minutes trying to fix this thing.  And now I'm so bitter and hyped up with worry and evil urges that I'm looking at porn in order to masturbate in order to calm down.  Fuck my life.

No comments:

Post a Comment