#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -7). It's weird, this week's survey; the top five teams went undefeated for the week, and yet I can't feel great about any of them because of them has a something I can complain about.
Take, for instance, the U. male icers. They may have had their best performance of the year, going into Columbus and sweeping the then-#2 or -#3 Ohio State Buckeyes over the weekend by matching 4-3 scores. But this club still is nowhere near tournament consideration according to the PairWise, which has them tied for 21st right now. More sweeps might cut it, but I think it's still fair to believe that they're sitting this tourney out. At any rate, they finish their B1G portion of the schedule at home against Notre Dame for two this weekend.
#-2: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -1). Meanwhile, the U. feminine ballers are enjoying a fantastic stretch. They currently ride a six-game winning streak after trouncing Purdue in West Lafayette by 20 (by virtue of a 20-2 Fourth Quarter) a 30-Point ass-kicking of Penn St. at Williams. And for all their fantastic play, this squad is ... nowhere near NCAA Tournament consideration either, according to ESPN.com's Charlie Creme, presumably since the non-conference schedule was softer than cotton candy. I don't know if being one win away from 20 counts for something, but it looks as though they still have ground to make up.
This week the Gophers have one game, but it's a tall order -- Thursday at Maryland. Beat the team that leads the league and they may be on to something.
#-3: Gopher women's hockey (Re-Entry!). Swept Minnesota State-Mankato this weekend at Ridder, but I worry about the Saturday result, when the Mavericks pushed the Golden Gophers to Overtime before Taylor Wente saved her teammates' asses, 3-2. May not be a big deal; after all, they remain the Alydar to Wisconsin's Affirmed in the rankings. But is it clear-cut that it'll be Goldy Gopher vs. Bucky Badger for all the marbles in Hamdent, Ct. come March 24?
These players finish the regular season this weekend at Bemidji St.
#-4: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -3). I'm afraid there's still no point in thinking the grapplers will make some noise in the NCAAs this year, Gable Steveson excepted. But they crushed Indiana 34-3 to finish B1G play 6-2. However, they are not done with the regular season yet. Weirdly enough, they host Rider Thursday at ... Northrop Auditorium?? I've never been there, but I kind of want to go now, city planning meeting for our roads be damned.
#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4). Finished the first "half" of the year by beating Houston Wednesday at Target Center, 121-111, an effort that was good (especially for Jeff Teague, who came back from injury with 27 Points and twelve Assists) but meant nothing because The Bastard San Diego Rockets were just mailing it in on the road in the final game before the All-Star Break. The Woofie Dogs are still out of the playoff picture by a few games and with a few teams between them and the eighth spot. And "Standrew" Wiggins is still not earning his keep. Don't know how Karl-Anthony Towns or Josh Okogie fared at the ASG in Charlotte over the weekend.
They resume this week with back-to-back roadies versus New York and Milwaukee over the weekend. They then host Sacramento Monday.
#-6: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -6). Got screwed out of a win through a bullshit foul call at the end of the Nebraska game Wednesday in Lincoln. Bounced back by throttling Indiana at The Barn Saturday by 21. Joey Brackets still has this team in, legitimately albeit as an 11-seed. They can either bolster or damage their tournament host this screening week with a huge game at home against Michigan Thursday, and a road game versus Rutgers Sunday.
#-7: Gopher softball (Last Week: -2). Still trying to get a measure of how good this team is, or not. Both wins were shutouts -- 10-0 (mercy-ruled after five) against Notre Dame, 4-0 over Cal. But they got doubled up by Tennessee and got the shit beat out of them, 17-6, by Florida St. (These games were all in Clearwater, Fla., BTW.)
This club next travels to Tuscaloosa, Ala., for five tilts: Two against host Alabama, two vs. Louisiana-Monroe, and a Sunday early afternoon capper against Missouri St.
#-8: Gopher baseball (Re-Entry!). And now these guys join the survey! After the most successful season in my lifetime, the U. has high hopes coming into this year. And so far, they're ... on a three-game losing streak. They started off beating Gonzaga before getting crushed by New Mexico and defending champion Oregon St. (both teams rolled up 11 Runs on the U.). They then bookended their sojourn to Surprise, Ariz. by losing to the Bulldogs, 6-5. Max Meyer & Co. have started off on a false note.
No tournament this weekend; they are in Dallas to play a three-Game series against a school that has decided it is a baseball school, Dallas Baptist.
#-9: Wild (Last Week: -5). This may have been the shittiest screening week this franchise has ever had. They go 0-3, losing all three games at the X, all in humiliating fashion. On Tuesday they blow a two-Goal lead and lose to Philadelphia, 5-4. On Friday they blow a three-Goal lead to bumbling New Jersey and lose in Overtime, also 5-4. And on Sunday afternoon, in front of a national TV audience to celebrate "Hockey Day In America" (which seems kind of redundant since we already celebrated "Hockey Day In Minnesota" and we all know ours is better), they get castrated and beaten over their heads with their own dicks on Power Play Goals and get shut out by St. Louis, 4-0.
The whole sorry goddamn team sucks right now. The ones who suck the worst are, not coincidentally, the ones who might be traded in an impending fire sale -- scared-to-shoot Charlie Coyle, double-teamed Eric Staal (who really missed Mikko Koivu, and BTW, I was so wrong about the role Captain Koivu played for this club), errant Jason Zucker, and the sieve that is Devan Dubnyk. Meanwhile, Matt Dumba still is fighting to get back for this season, even though with the way the Mild are playing, maybe it's best to shut it down till next year.
Meanwhile I was listening to Michael Russo of The Athletic about some insights and he relayed another key reason the Wild have gone to shit. He traces General Manager Paul Fenton's move to put Defenseman Nate Prosser on waivers. Russo never understood that move. Not only was Prosser a popular teammate in the locker room, but it also forced a break-up of the pairing of Jonas Brodin and Nate Spurgeon (I think?). That destroyed chemistry and heralded a tailspin that continues to this day. So while you can pin a lot on the players, Fenton has made some questionable moves as well. Sure, it's his first year. But I think that you can pin the blame on the downward trajectory of his team's season to this move he made.
And yet, and yet, if the season were to end today, this motherfucking team would still be in the playoffs. Well, I be a monkey's uncle! That is the only fuckin' reason I'm not giving these losers a #-Infinity. They've got four games this screening week -- home to Anaheim tonight, back-to-back roadies vs. the Rangers and Detroit, then home to St. Louis for a second straight Sunday -- and we'll see if these goddamn players have any pride to pull themselves off the ice. Fuck.
Take, for instance, the U. male icers. They may have had their best performance of the year, going into Columbus and sweeping the then-#2 or -#3 Ohio State Buckeyes over the weekend by matching 4-3 scores. But this club still is nowhere near tournament consideration according to the PairWise, which has them tied for 21st right now. More sweeps might cut it, but I think it's still fair to believe that they're sitting this tourney out. At any rate, they finish their B1G portion of the schedule at home against Notre Dame for two this weekend.
#-2: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -1). Meanwhile, the U. feminine ballers are enjoying a fantastic stretch. They currently ride a six-game winning streak after trouncing Purdue in West Lafayette by 20 (by virtue of a 20-2 Fourth Quarter) a 30-Point ass-kicking of Penn St. at Williams. And for all their fantastic play, this squad is ... nowhere near NCAA Tournament consideration either, according to ESPN.com's Charlie Creme, presumably since the non-conference schedule was softer than cotton candy. I don't know if being one win away from 20 counts for something, but it looks as though they still have ground to make up.
This week the Gophers have one game, but it's a tall order -- Thursday at Maryland. Beat the team that leads the league and they may be on to something.
#-3: Gopher women's hockey (Re-Entry!). Swept Minnesota State-Mankato this weekend at Ridder, but I worry about the Saturday result, when the Mavericks pushed the Golden Gophers to Overtime before Taylor Wente saved her teammates' asses, 3-2. May not be a big deal; after all, they remain the Alydar to Wisconsin's Affirmed in the rankings. But is it clear-cut that it'll be Goldy Gopher vs. Bucky Badger for all the marbles in Hamdent, Ct. come March 24?
These players finish the regular season this weekend at Bemidji St.
#-4: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -3). I'm afraid there's still no point in thinking the grapplers will make some noise in the NCAAs this year, Gable Steveson excepted. But they crushed Indiana 34-3 to finish B1G play 6-2. However, they are not done with the regular season yet. Weirdly enough, they host Rider Thursday at ... Northrop Auditorium?? I've never been there, but I kind of want to go now, city planning meeting for our roads be damned.
#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4). Finished the first "half" of the year by beating Houston Wednesday at Target Center, 121-111, an effort that was good (especially for Jeff Teague, who came back from injury with 27 Points and twelve Assists) but meant nothing because The Bastard San Diego Rockets were just mailing it in on the road in the final game before the All-Star Break. The Woofie Dogs are still out of the playoff picture by a few games and with a few teams between them and the eighth spot. And "Standrew" Wiggins is still not earning his keep. Don't know how Karl-Anthony Towns or Josh Okogie fared at the ASG in Charlotte over the weekend.
They resume this week with back-to-back roadies versus New York and Milwaukee over the weekend. They then host Sacramento Monday.
#-6: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -6). Got screwed out of a win through a bullshit foul call at the end of the Nebraska game Wednesday in Lincoln. Bounced back by throttling Indiana at The Barn Saturday by 21. Joey Brackets still has this team in, legitimately albeit as an 11-seed. They can either bolster or damage their tournament host this screening week with a huge game at home against Michigan Thursday, and a road game versus Rutgers Sunday.
This club next travels to Tuscaloosa, Ala., for five tilts: Two against host Alabama, two vs. Louisiana-Monroe, and a Sunday early afternoon capper against Missouri St.
#-8: Gopher baseball (Re-Entry!). And now these guys join the survey! After the most successful season in my lifetime, the U. has high hopes coming into this year. And so far, they're ... on a three-game losing streak. They started off beating Gonzaga before getting crushed by New Mexico and defending champion Oregon St. (both teams rolled up 11 Runs on the U.). They then bookended their sojourn to Surprise, Ariz. by losing to the Bulldogs, 6-5. Max Meyer & Co. have started off on a false note.
No tournament this weekend; they are in Dallas to play a three-Game series against a school that has decided it is a baseball school, Dallas Baptist.
#-9: Wild (Last Week: -5). This may have been the shittiest screening week this franchise has ever had. They go 0-3, losing all three games at the X, all in humiliating fashion. On Tuesday they blow a two-Goal lead and lose to Philadelphia, 5-4. On Friday they blow a three-Goal lead to bumbling New Jersey and lose in Overtime, also 5-4. And on Sunday afternoon, in front of a national TV audience to celebrate "Hockey Day In America" (which seems kind of redundant since we already celebrated "Hockey Day In Minnesota" and we all know ours is better), they get castrated and beaten over their heads with their own dicks on Power Play Goals and get shut out by St. Louis, 4-0.
The whole sorry goddamn team sucks right now. The ones who suck the worst are, not coincidentally, the ones who might be traded in an impending fire sale -- scared-to-shoot Charlie Coyle, double-teamed Eric Staal (who really missed Mikko Koivu, and BTW, I was so wrong about the role Captain Koivu played for this club), errant Jason Zucker, and the sieve that is Devan Dubnyk. Meanwhile, Matt Dumba still is fighting to get back for this season, even though with the way the Mild are playing, maybe it's best to shut it down till next year.
Meanwhile I was listening to Michael Russo of The Athletic about some insights and he relayed another key reason the Wild have gone to shit. He traces General Manager Paul Fenton's move to put Defenseman Nate Prosser on waivers. Russo never understood that move. Not only was Prosser a popular teammate in the locker room, but it also forced a break-up of the pairing of Jonas Brodin and Nate Spurgeon (I think?). That destroyed chemistry and heralded a tailspin that continues to this day. So while you can pin a lot on the players, Fenton has made some questionable moves as well. Sure, it's his first year. But I think that you can pin the blame on the downward trajectory of his team's season to this move he made.
And yet, and yet, if the season were to end today, this motherfucking team would still be in the playoffs. Well, I be a monkey's uncle! That is the only fuckin' reason I'm not giving these losers a #-Infinity. They've got four games this screening week -- home to Anaheim tonight, back-to-back roadies vs. the Rangers and Detroit, then home to St. Louis for a second straight Sunday -- and we'll see if these goddamn players have any pride to pull themselves off the ice. Fuck.
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