Right now I'm trying to gulp down this Chinese concoction my parents love. I don't know exactly what it is. It looks brown and green, and there is seaweed and beans in it. It separates to precipitate and clear layers. And my parents say they put sugar in it, though I've never been able to taste it. They consider it to be a dessert drink, but I've always thought it tastes like shit.
This comes on the heels of Chinese New Year's, which, if we were die-hards, we should still be celebrating. One of our family's traditions is to eat this shit fungus dish -- mushrooms, fried tofu, abalone, babycorn, seaweed, and my folks' feces for all I know. It looks just as brown and green as this piss drink I'm drinking now. Does anybody eat or drink anything that looks brown and green? Course not -- they're inedible colors. And yet Chinese people consume these all the time.
Well, not me -- well, not exactly. I felt bad for entirely skipping this traditional dish because I've become more conscious of my roots. So starting last year, I've tried eating that vegetarian goop. But I made sure I really, really eat a little -- like, one single mushroom, one little piece of tofu, etc. And I barely get through it without throwing up.
Guess I'm not a good Chinese person.
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