Nervous about tomorrow because it's Chinese New Year's Eve. Don't know if all Chinese do this, but the Eve is more important than the Day for us. Huge dinner, always.

This time it's going to be much more special because my brother and sister-in-law are coming over. They've come over for dinner once before, but it's somehow weirder and scarier now. It seems more ... official. And we're all preparing and shit -- we've extended the table, I'll probably have to wipe down the chairs, and worst of all, I have to bring Father home early so he can prepare the huge fucking feast we're having. This is why I hate holidays -- anxiety over changes and expectations arising from social situations.

Because of Chinese New Year's Eve, this week, to me, seems shot. I was hoping I could wind up to the Super Bowl; now it feels like another big dinner I have to dress up and show my social side for.