This story starts back on Friday. I was supposed to be in The Fourth Department, but my bosses told me that I should do data entry instead. So once I keyed as long as I was expected to key, I went back to The Fourth Department. However, I didn't finish the work. I stayed till 6:30, but I wanted to see college basketball on the TV, and I thought ten hours was more than enough. In particular, there were forms that came in on Friday that I didn't get to. I was told during the workday that that stuff could wait till the next day (Saturday). So I thought I could come in the next day, yesterday, and finish up that work and, hopefully, get started on the work that came in that day for The Fourth Department. I was anticipating a lot of stuff was coming in, and I didn't want all that stuff to sit till tomorrow, especially if I was assigned to that position tomorrow. Besides, the department needed help catching up on work, and while I liked having surprise days off, it was eating into the time off I had built up; working yesterday means I get to take some of that paid time off back.
I thought the mid-South was up and running, seeing as we got monster shipments Thursday and Friday. However, when I woke up yesterday morning, I was told that morning's shipment was late, so we should come in an hour later than scheduled. (Also, I have a Facebook friend who said that, beyond, like, half a day, her neighborhood in East Nashville has been without power for eight days. Maybe they don't have everything back up and running like I thought.) Two of my co-workers, however, appeared to have either not gotten that text or ignored it, because they were at their desks by the time I got in. Moreover, one of them was doing the work I left over.
This is not an excuse, but how I felt was: Why are you taking my work from me?! I know that I have done this in the past, and I know that I'm not strong enough not to feel that way in the future. This red mist of control descended on me, like it has so many times before, and so I asked her, "What are you doing?"
"I am just finding work. Do you want this back?" she said.
"Yes, please," I answered. (These might not be the exact words she and I said, and any tone you might take from these two quotes may not be as sinister, or as courteous, as it actually was.)
I regretted my words as soon as I sat down on my desk. And any doubt as to how she reacted to my "taking back what's mine" temper tantrum probably was dispelled when she said, "Here's the cart," and shoved the cart into which we put the work in my direction with a force I have never, never seen her give. She is a steady rock. And frankly, since my supervisor left for a work-from-home position in the summer, she is the one I have relied on whenever I'm fuzzy about what to do next. In other words, I don't want to get on her bad side. And I think I did with that move, and it's probably going to cause a rift in our relationship that will never be repaired.
And the upshot of the hissy fit I threw is that it really didn't matter. I got Friday's work done, but then my boss and my boss' boss told me to go scan documents all day instead. We got done before eight hours, so I was able to do (or availed myself with) some Fourth Department stuff to make up the rest of the time. But yesterday was clearly an all-hands-on-deck day, and while I knew that, honestly, I really didn't want to do that.
I shouldn't have reacted how I did. But it felt like she was taking my work from me. Moreover, she was ruining my plans. "I got this under control, don't mess this up for me," -- that's what I was thinking. And no, like I said, that's not an excuse. But shit, what's done is done. I should get off my butt and start updating my resume. Because I acted like an ass!
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