Monday, November 18, 2024

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher soccer (Re-Entry!).  I was at the Golden Gophers' First Round NCAA Tournament Game Friday at Robbie Stadium, and while I was somewhat unnerved that the First Half finished 0-0, Minnesota looked firmly in control.  And then Sophia Boman broke through, scoring off a scramble in front of goal off a Corner Kick in the 48th Minute, then slotting home a Penalty Kick in the 55th, to help the XI advance to the Second Round with a 2-0 Win.  They advance to play one and possibly two Rounds in Chapel Hill, N. C., some time over the weekend.  They face South Carolina; win that and they would then face either host North Carolina or Santa Clara.

#0: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -4).  Good teams dominate, and in at least two of the three Games the U. won in its perfect Week, they were, blitzing Massachusetts-Lowell, 82-37, Tuesday and then, in the first Game of the Briann January Classic in Tempe, Ariz., routing Oregon St. Saturday, 73-38.  But they had a much tougher go of it yesterday/Sunday afternoon, outlasting SMU, 65-56.

But hey, 3-0 is always great, and they remain perfect on the season.  That perfection should continue as these Gophers go back for some home cookin' this Week as Eastern Illinois (Wednesday) and Montana (Sunday) come to town.

#-1: Vikings (Last Week: -3).  Beat The Bastard Houston Oilers yesterday/Sunday afternoon in Nashville, 23-13.  Not much to say about it.  On the one hand, seeing how Tennessee was (or was not) moving the ball (that 98-yard bomb that Josh Metellus misplayed) aside, the Vikes were not in real trouble of losing the tilt.  On the other hand, there was that Metellus meltdown, and too often the Offense got stuck and had no imagination.  That 8-2 record covers up a lot of warts, and the team could get exposed Sunday afternoon at a deflated Chicago Bears squad that saw its upset over Green Bay literally get batted away with a failed Field Goal attempt at the gun.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Re-Entry!).  First of all, I apologize for getting the dates wrong for the University of Minnesota women's hockey team's next Games.  I said two Weeks (and surveys) ago that they would play a pair at Minnesota-Duluth last Weekend.  The squad, in fact, had that weekend off and played the Bulldogs this past weekend, and won both Games by scores of 4-1 and 3-2.  The Bulldogs are ranked fourth and the Gophers third.  So, if you're following at home, the Gophers are perfectly ranked in third; they can beat a team ranked below them, but they have no chance of beating the two teams ranked above them, Wisconsin and Ohio St.  And they have a home-and-home this weekend with St. Cloud St., so they should beat the shit out of the Huskies as well.

#-3: Gopher wrestling (NEW SEASON!).  So they finally begin the Dual portion of their schedule by destroying Bucknell at Maturi Friday by a 35-3 score.  But the really interesting news is that Heavyweight legend Gable Steveson is returning to the U. for another Year.  I thought he wasn't going back.  I also think he's 40.  Whatever; Steveson potentially remaining undefeated and winning yet another NCAA title is the only intriguing thing with this club this Year.

Their next Dual is November 22 in Fargo versus North Dakota St.

#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1).  All good things come to an end.  Saturday's 3-1 Loss at Bemidji against Bemidji St. meant a split of the home-and-home series, coming one Day after the U. beat the Beavers at Mariucci, 5-3.  But their winning streak ended at a robust nine Games.  And then can start a new streak with a two-Game set at Notre Dame over the weekend.

#-5: Wild (Last Week: -2).  Blanked lowly Montreal Thursday, but goddamn lost to The Bastard North Stars Saturday, 2-1, and that weighs heavily as to why I put the Mild here.

Say, I caught the first snippet of that North Stars documentary Channel 9 put together on Friday.  First of all, I appreciate local news doing stuff like this; journalism isn't dead, after all.  But then I saw Norm Green's ass face and my blood pressure went up so high that I had to turn it off three minutes after I turned it on.  What I saw was the beginning of the bloody, bureaucratic process of getting the North Stars a new arena.  From comments on a North Stars group I'm a part of on Facebook, it's the usual "everybody is to blame" take, most notably with local government officials and the Metropolitan Sports Facility balking at negotiations.  I will say this: The threat of moving teams was still not a concrete threat back in 1993.  There were The Baltimore Colts and The St. Louis Cardinals, sure, but do not tell me the concept of franchise relocation was something top of mind with governments and local fanbases back then.  Officials were balking at Norm Green's demands because of something that is now passe but really shouldn't be: The idea of giving taxpayer money to rich people in the form of sweetheart arena deals for their sports teams is a complete ripoff.  Every economist knows that new stadia and arenas are money pits for local governments.  But it took the North Stars being taken from us to be cowed into submission and to open up our wallets to the Wild so that never happens again.  Frankly, the Twin Cities was traumatized by this move, and since Norm Green was the owner, he has final, and full, responsibility.  He had the option of cashing out and finding someone else to own the team, but he stole it away to Dallas (escaping a sexual harassment lawsuit here, by the way) and pocketed the money.  So yes, Norm Green Sucks, and I hope he dies an agonizing, humiliating death like, right fucking now.

On the road entirely this Week: St. Louis tomorrow/Tuesday, Edmonton Thursday, Calgary Saturday.

#-6: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -5).  BcS teams aren't supposed to lose early-season non-conference contests, especially at home.  But Jesus fucking Christ, I saw on B1G+ these Goofers lose at The Barn Wednesday to North Texas, 54-51.  And they had to overcome a 29-19 Halftime deficit to defeat Yale at home Saturday, 59-56.  Ben Johnson made improvements, small though they may be, last season, but this is a sign that he's back to square one.  At least these guys have only one Game this screening Week, vs. Cleveland St. Tuesday.

#-7: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6).  Sure, they would up the Week on a high note, winning twice and breaking a three-Game losing streak in the process.  But take a closer look at the screening Week and you'll see some disturbing patterns that shouldn't be happening to a supposed championship contender.  They started off the Week losing not once but twice to a still-rebuilding Trail Blazers squad on the road Tuesday and Wednesday.  They beat Sacramento on the road Friday, but only by four, and even though they're a good club, the Timberwolves of last season would've run right through them and locked them down.  And then, in Target Center yesterday/Sunday afternoon, they were trailing massively to Phoenix, and they needed to be bailed out by new acquisition Julius Randle's Three with no time left.  Great buzzer-beater, no doubt.  But I didn't think it had to get to that point in the first damn place.

Moreover, right now The Western Conference is in a huge jam-up because it is so fucking competitive.  The Wolves are in a three-way tie with Sacramento and Memphis for seventh.  Meanwhile they're still working out the chemistry kinks, Naz Reid is still trying to adjust to not being able to take advantage of being the first guy off the bench, and Mike Conley's precipitous drop in play means Head Coach Chris Finch has to plaster over weaknesses on the team that he doesn't necessarily have.

At least this Week lets them breathe.  Just two Games, but both unfortunately on the road -- Toronto Thursday and, ugh, defending NBA Champions Boston Sunday.

#-8: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -7).  Sweeping Michigan yesterday/Sunday afternoon doesn't erase the fact that they lost in four Sets at Nebraska Thursday.  Now, the Cornhuskers are ranked second in the nation, but that gave the team a three-Game losing streak, and that's just more evidence this program isn't where it once was.

At seventh-ranked Wisconsin Wednesday, then hosting Iowa Saturday.

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